How do you manage your emotions when things happen?

[SirFox]

We are human beings. We live emotionally. We act and react in our everyday lives. What happens when those EMOTIONS are UNMANAGED or are POORLY MANAGED?

We are on this Forum for various reason: to decompress for some, to have something else in our lives, to interact with others on similar subjects that interest us, probably most importantly to share with others some of our questions pertaining to a very intimate subject: SEX.

We all interact with one another differently because of our life experiences, also because of the way we were brought up. Our beliefs in our marriages come from somewhere, as do our relationships with our bodies. We enjoy certain types of clothing, having sex in certain positions and not in others, prefer clean shaven persons as opposed to bearded, are turned on by the opposite sex or by the same sex for reasons that are our own, etc.

From the time we wake up in the morning to the time we go to sleep, we deal with emotions. Examples of these emotions can be found in our everyday lives:

Rise and Shine
We wake up to see our spouse ready for a good day, and, already dressed: the spouse has not kissed us this morning like we like it.

Breakfast
We have breakfast and the radio or the television news this morning talks of the place where our Family live: torrential rains have fallen and flooding is expected.

The work environment
We go to work and our boss tells us off.
Our spouse goes to work as well and leaves the kids off at school. On the way he/she is nearly hit by an irresponsible ass who didn’t see the car coming.
This same spouse calls the partner who is occupied and cannot be reached. The message arrives on voicemail.
A contract has just been lost.
A Client dossier is nowhere to be found at work and it’s your baby.

End of a School Day
The children finish school. Everyone is home and one of your children is sitting and watching television. “Don’t you have any homework”, you ask your child? “Yeahhhhh…but’s there’s not much!” Are you sure, you inquire? “Yes….”
You find out later that your child’s homework was one where he/ she had school work in every subject due for the next day. How do you react?

Coming home
You are horny as a fox (pun on words, of course) can get. You can’t wait for your spouse or your living partner to get home to be able to pounce on him / her. He / she comes home with a pissed off face because things at work did not go well. He / she has no inclination at all to jump into bed with you. You are frustrated as hell. Masturbation is good and well, but you need more.
He/ she pushes back your urgings and gets angry, How do you feel?

Dinner time.
Who sets the table? Wife cooks because it is the week day after a potential long work day…and husband goes in front of the tube to watch a football game. Husband opens a beer. Mom calls the children to set the table and finally seeing that one responds does it herself. How does she feel?

Bedtime.
Each spouse hits the bed, and they talk. Telephone call from mother in law. Oh No!, not her again when husband was just fondling his wife’s breast and she was seeing her own desire awaken. The telephone call kills the wants and desires of both.

ETC.

This THREAD is solely an EXCHANGE of ideas about how we feel when we are in certain situations, how we work it out. We can discuss techniques to reduce stress, give advice about natural products, and, general management of emotions. How does the mismanagement of emotions affect our marriages, our sex lives and our general health?

What treatments beside medical can be found to help alleviate pain? We will also discuss Family history as it pertains to us to physical illness.

THIS IS NOT A MEDICAL FORUM and all advices herein given are not in any way to be construed as advice for usage. Each person is responsible for his / her health and must insure that she / he find adequate advice from a health practitioner.

[Sunfiresix]

The one thing for me, that really helps me cope is firends, people you can share thoughts with, laugh with and just be at ease around. The people i work with are like medecine to me, the price is only kindness.

[Zifnab]

I have always laughed at things. If I can make others laugh they won't notice how badly I am hurting inside... never let anything show, then in private I just sort of fall apart quietly..
Always been a loner, so leaning for support was never an option ( my father taught me that lesson early in life)
still have problems with expressing emotions, so I joke things away. If you see a lot of silly posts I am probably covering something again, so don't mind the poor humor. Give me an hour and I'll be over it!

[Sexylady06]

I tend to go and be alone, if not I will lash out on others because I have had a bad day. I am working on my attitude, trying to become a better person and to enjoy life. Can't talk to "friends", they talk to much and tell someone else. Can't talk to husband because we are not on the same level. So when I am really stressed out, I have a glass of wine and take a long bath, it helps me to relax and to just let it all go.

[MCat]

I don't manage my emotions well....I tend to let it rip, usually get in trouble, get a headache and then I'm better in a couple days.

[Cotties]

a couple of days? I'm usually over things by the next morning. I don't manage my emotions well....I tend to let it rip, usually get in trouble, get a headache and then I'm better in a couple days.

[Cotties]

As many people know I live in Thailand after moving from Sydney. What this place has taught me about emotions is wonderful. I use to be a very angry man at work at when ever I felt like it.

In Thailand emotions in public are frowned upon escpecially for men. To lose self control is just a no no. You lose all respect for letting people know you can't control how you feel. It's very tricky for a person like myself who has opinions and can be passionate. Men don't fight or get aggressive when drunk. Never speak bad to their spouse in public or lose their temper at children. Don't show road rage even when they drive so badly. I have learnt so much from this culture about different ways of solving problems.

There is one downfall to this system. That is when they do get angry they will try and kill you as they have no practise at controlling their temper. I stuck my finger up at a car while on my motorbike one day. For twenty minutes he tried catching me in the traffic. Lets just say he nearly killed me. Also it was lucky I got away and didn't confront him..
Lesson learnt. Be cool no matter what.
We are human beings. We live emotionally. We act and react in our everyday lives. What happens when those EMOTIONS are UNMANAGED or are POORLY MANAGED?

We are on this Forum for various reason: to decompress for some, to have something else in our lives, to interact with others on similar subjects that interest us, probably most importantly to share with others some of our questions pertaining to a very intimate subject: SEX.

We all interact with one another differently because of our life experiences, also because of the way we were brought up. Our beliefs in our marriages come from somewhere, as do our relationships with our bodies. We enjoy certain types of clothing, having sex in certain positions and not in others, prefer clean shaven persons as opposed to bearded, are turned on by the opposite sex or by the same sex for reasons that are our own, etc.

From the time we wake up in the morning to the time we go to sleep, we deal with emotions. Examples of these emotions can be found in our everyday lives:

Rise and Shine
We wake up to see our spouse ready for a good day, and, already dressed: the spouse has not kissed us this morning like we like it.

Breakfast
We have breakfast and the radio or the television news this morning talks of the place where our Family live: torrential rains have fallen and flooding is expected.

The work environment
We go to work and our boss tells us off.
Our spouse goes to work as well and leaves the kids off at school. On the way he/she is nearly hit by an irresponsible ass who didn’t see the car coming.
This same spouse calls the partner who is occupied and cannot be reached. The message arrives on voicemail.
A contract has just been lost.
A Client dossier is nowhere to be found at work and it’s your baby.

End of a School Day
The children finish school. Everyone is home and one of your children is sitting and watching television. “Don’t you have any homework”, you ask your child? “Yeahhhhh…but’s there’s not much!” Are you sure, you inquire? “Yes….”
You find out later that your child’s homework was one where he/ she had school work in every subject due for the next day. How do you react?

Coming home
You are horny as a fox (pun on words, of course) can get. You can’t wait for your spouse or your living partner to get home to be able to pounce on him / her. He / she comes home with a pissed off face because things at work did not go well. He / she has no inclination at all to jump into bed with you. You are frustrated as hell. Masturbation is good and well, but you need more.
He/ she pushes back your urgings and gets angry, How do you feel?

Dinner time.
Who sets the table? Wife cooks because it is the week day after a potential long work day…and husband goes in front of the tube to watch a football game. Husband opens a beer. Mom calls the children to set the table and finally seeing that one responds does it herself. How does she feel?

Bedtime.
Each spouse hits the bed, and they talk. Telephone call from mother in law. Oh No!, not her again when husband was just fondling his wife’s breast and she was seeing her own desire awaken. The telephone call kills the wants and desires of both.

ETC.

This THREAD is solely an EXCHANGE of ideas about how we feel when we are in certain situations, how we work it out. We can discuss techniques to reduce stress, give advice about natural products, and, general management of emotions. How does the mismanagement of emotions affect our marriages, our sex lives and our general health?

What treatments beside medical can be found to help alleviate pain? We will also discuss Family history as it pertains to us to physical illness.

THIS IS NOT A MEDICAL FORUM and all advices herein given are not in any way to be construed as advice for usage. Each person is responsible for his / her health and must insure that she / he find adequate advice from a health practitioner.

[Jy]

Fortunately, I have the kind of job that's a perfect outlet for pent-up emotions. One good workout and I feel better.
Good thing too, because my husband is alot of work.

[tiger50]

As many people know I live in Thailand after moving from Sydney. What this place has taught me about emotions is wonderful. I use to be a very angry man at work at when ever I felt like it.

In Thailand emotions in public are frowned upon escpecially for men. To lose self control is just a no no. You lose all respect for letting people know you can't control how you feel. It's very tricky for a person like myself who has opinions and can be passionate. Men don't fight or get aggressive when drunk. Never speak bad to their spouse in public or lose their temper at children. Don't show road rage even when they drive so badly. I have learnt so much from this culture about different ways of solving problems.

There is one downfall to this system. That is when they do get angry they will try and kill you as they have no practise at controlling their temper. I stuck my finger up at a car while on my motorbike one day. For twenty minutes he tried catching me in the traffic. Lets just say he nearly killed me. Also it was lucky I got away and didn't confront him..
Lesson learnt. Be cool no matter what.

mm wonder what they do at home then when out of the public eye... :sc

[kissiemybuttie]

i am not very good with emotions..rant and rave...have a good cry...and rant and rave somemore...and then sleep it off...ALONE!!!

[SirFox]

I used to be a very ANGRY man and I would blow up for little and stupid things. When I saw my daughter start doing the same thing (I thought at the start that she was first imitating me), I began to wonder whether she did it on purpose. I saw in my daughter the need for her to control her outbursts and to do something for her to understand that she became so emotionally involved that she could not see another person's point of view.

It is then that I realised that I needed to see a counselor. Things are better with me. I can now work this anger business with her. What helped me? SOPHROLOGY. It is the airt of breathing.

The anger thing that I had was predominate in my father AT HOME. In spite of this, I learned to be an angry man at home, never outside. What surprised me is to find out that I was carrying the BASIC SAME REASONS reasons for being angry, his ANGER at my mother.

I looked at one generation further and found that my grandafther was also an angry man, that he also bore some resentiments against my grandmother.

Because I have been doing a lot of work on personal development, I became interested in something called psycho-genealogy. PSYCHO-GENEALOGY is based on the idea that you are more inclined to repeat those emotions which come down from your parents and your grandparents because we IMMITATE those people we knew, or we knew of.

The lady who started this personal development theory, Anne Ancelin SCHNEEBERGER, said that it was necessary to look at one's genealogy in order to better understand who we are and why in many ways we act like the past generation of our Families.

Ever had someone say to you, "You look like Aunt Sandy?" You are just like her! Ever hear someone say, "You have the bad character of your Uncle Bob, and your heart is in your hand? That reminds me of your grandfather who would give everything for his Family!"

When you start with analysing yourself like this, you can go on for hours. It is fascinating and you ultimately get a better hold on yourself.

[Norfolkdave]

Im not very good at some things and im afraid to say my temper does get the better of me when driving espicially when people dont signal, are not polite on the highway code, and I have stuck my finger up many times, but now one has to be so careful with this road rage business as the UK has virtually become lawless, others may carry knives or guns and wouldnt hesitate in using them. And I get angry when non disabled people park in the disabled bays outside our supermarket. I get agry because its abusing the system, a system that I had to have stringent tests, to prove my disability and when you confront these wasters of society the abuse that comes from their mouths is disgusting, yes i lose my temper.

[MCat]

a couple of days? I'm usually over things by the next morning.

Well now, thats because you're a man. Men get over things quicker....we women have to let them fester and eat away at us :(

[sex_kitten_4u]

i tend to let things bottle up for a very long time then i just go and put on some good rock music and have a cry to myself, and if someone makes me angry i have a tendancy to go to the kitchen and takit it out by baking for hours then i feel better

[MCat]

i tend to let things bottle up for a very long time then i just go and put on some good rock music and have a cry to myself, and if someone makes me angry i have a tendancy to go to the kitchen and takit it out by baking for hours then i feel better

Oh ya....I can eat a whole bag of chocolate covered peanuts if I have to :lf

[Sandy]

lol me to mc, or clean house to get the anger out.

[learman3]

I'm rather poor with my emotions. For the most part I think I hold things in and do not discuss things that upset me or make me angry. This tends to make me jump on people when I get frustrated, even when it is a small thing or to blow something that is not so big into a bigger situation. Usually this happens at work or with unsuspecting people like counter help that just don't understand what I want. My home relationship is flowery, meaning we have never had a arguement over anyything.


For the most part though I am pretty easy going and not much really gets to me. I guess letting those things that that upset me slide because I hate creating waves should be handled up front. If I was more open with my feelings I'm sure the pressure cooker that sits within me would not likely boil over.

[Zifnab]

lol me to mc, or clean house to get the anger out.
And answer "Nothing" when asked what's wrong to I bet!

[SirFox]

We have different ways to get the FEAR, the PAIN, the HATE out of our guts because that is where our EMOTIONS are nicely stored.....

SEX is a great way to get rid of those negative emotions (as long as you don't beat your mate...)

There is yoga, sophrology which worked for me but doesn't for all, jogging, walking 20 minutes around the block each night. There are other STRESS and DEPRESSION releavers other than valium and prozac!

[SirFox]

Well now, thats because you're a man. Men get over things quicker....we women have to let them fester and eat away at us :(

MC: I don't agree with you completely. MEN tend to hide their feelings for the most part. We react emotionally. We can't show that it makes us fearful. We can't show us that it is painful. We can't show that the news is terrible.....

so we "brush it away" methinks....and we are unable to dilute the crappy news away in the urines as we should probably.....and years later...we are suprised when we are still digesting the bad news...in the form of cancer or perhaps a heart attack.

[Barkiss]

Excellent thread FFox!

STRESSED/DEPRESSED - Personally I'm a shutdown kind of person....I internally absorb everything inside and hope to keep it from affecting my loved ones. I've a good "fake" when I'm upset or stressed.

NERVOUS/ANXIOUS - Humor...I will find a joke even in the most unfortunate of circumstances. I have more than once wished I could remove my foot from my mouth after saying something inappropriate at the wrong time.

ANGER - However, I can be pushed to my limits also. And during those times, I tend to back off for a second, think over what I'm going to say, then let it rip. And when I let it rip, it's typically with strong feelings and strong words. I am not into, nor condone, the use the of offensive words intended as insults; however, when I need to get a point across, I will do everything in my power to make sure there is no substantial argument from the other side. My intention is always to end the "emotion" of the situation as fast as possible...

[SirFox]

Excellent thread FFox!

STRESSED/DEPRESSED - Personally I'm a shutdown kind of person....I internally absorb everything inside and hope to keep it from affecting my loved ones. I've a good "fake" when I'm upset or stressed.

NERVOUS/ANXIOUS - Humor...I will find a joke even in the most unfortunate of circumstances. I have more than once wished I could remove my foot from my mouth after saying something inappropriate at the wrong time.

ANGER - However, I can be pushed to my limits also. And during those times, I tend to back off for a second, think over what I'm going to say, then let it rip. And when I let it rip, it's typically with strong feelings and strong words. I am not into, nor condone, the use the of offensive words intended as insults; however, when I need to get a point across, I will do everything in my power to make sure there is no substantial argument from the other side. My intention is always to end the "emotion" of the situation as fast as possible...

Thank you SIr Barkiss: You are a gentleman and a scholar!

I do hope that we will all learn from one another here. We may realise that we aren't alone in our misery and happiness. We can try different solutions for the same problems we encounter in our everyday lives .when we compare notes with other Members of the Forum.

[G...G]

When mad I usually clean and clean and then clean somemore.......... LOL I do get my feelings hurt easily and cry alot. I have anxiety attacks quite often and have been trying to learn to overcome them!!

If depressed.... I just get in car and drive and listen to radio and cry somemore, go home and then I'm better.

[Shiane]

DOWN/ DEPRESSED:: I don't get down or depressed these days. I let stuff go, like water off a duck's back , I refuse to dwell on them. Tomorrow will be a better day and that works for me.

NERVOUS/ANXIOUS: Typically I get this way at work if I have a patient circling the drain (dying). I clam up usually because my mind is spinning with ideas trying to figure out the problem and fix it. When I'm quiet people know theres something wrong.

ANGER: Unfortunately controlling this is not my strong point. As I have gotten older omg if you piss me off, you're going to know about it. I used to keep it bottled up until I exploded. Now it's like I feel like I will explode if I don't get it off my chest. Typically I'm not real nice when I'm mad, and neither are the words I use to express myself. I don't cut people down with derogitory comments, I give it to them in a very direct, straight in your face manner. I don't cry unless I'm very hurt or very mad. I do try to avoid any confrontation until I have cooled off a bit.

[SirFox]

The question seems here whether you Shiane and Barkiss and others are REALLY "ABLE TO GET THINGS OFF YOUR STOMACHS". That's the idea of good management of your emotions....

You will notice in the lingo, in the sprache or language that expressions often tell you something that is overlooked. For example, "I have indigestion"....that literally means that you have not been able to digest a NEGATIVE emotion....and you are feeling poorly. That man gives me a "pain in the ass," means that the person there yonder....gives you a physical pain....in the butt or in your stomach.

Try sometime to touch your higher abdominal area (stomach, colon, pancreas and liver). Do not go lower Folks than the higher area....or do any monkey business. LOL You may notice a flatulence, or a pain in that area. Massage that area in a slow and deliberate way. Breath deeply. Do you feel a little relief?

[Barkiss]

No...I'm one of the worst for getting things "off my stomach". I even find myself getting worked up over other's issues/problems/circumstances/anxieties. I have been referred to as a "worrier" by more than one person...however, it makes me good at my job, but crappy at home! ;)

[Shiane]

The question seems here whether you Shiane and Barkiss and others are REALLY "ABLE TO GET THINGS OFF YOUR STOMACHS". That's the idea of good management of your emotions....

You will notice in the lingo, in the sprache or language that expressions often tell you something that is overlooked. For example, "I have indigestion"....that literally means that you have not been able to digest a NEGATIVE emotion....and you are feeling poorly. That man gives me a "pain in the ass," means that the person there yonder....gives you a physical pain....in the butt or in your stomach.

Try sometime to touch your higher abdominal area (stomach, colon, pancreas and liver). Do not go lower Folks than the higher area....or do any monkey business. LOL You may notice a flatulence, or a pain in that area. Massage that area in a slow and deliberate way. Breath deeply. Do you feel a little relief?

My emotions don't turn into physical gastrointestinal aches and pains. When I say you are a pain in the ass I don't mean you hurt my ass or my stomach. Most likely it means you have pissed me off and I'm being to polite so not to offend an innocent bystandard. When in fact I would much rather tell you to fuck off and die and I probably will tell you that at a more opportune moment. The only time I have indigestion is when I forget to take my prevacid. But I promise the next time I tell someone to fuck off I'll rub my stomach while I do it;)

[Sandy]

you don't know me very well. ii'm not quite it for anybody........:D









And answer "Nothing" when asked what's wrong to I bet!

[Zifnab]

you don't know me very well. ii'm not quite it for anybody........:D
That I can totally believe!

[Sandy]

lol alright now watch yourself. :wa: :nu

[Shiane]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zifnab
And answer "Nothing" when asked what's wrong to I bet!

So when men ask women "Whats wrong?" Why do women say "nothing!"

Personally for me it's because right now at this very moment I don't want to talk to you, I would much rather rip you a new asshole. So leave it alone and ask me later, stop saying nooooo I know somethings wrong, what is it! OMG men just keep on and on and on, if they actually knew what women were thinking they would go find a rock to crawl under and hide.

[Sandy]

lol i agree with that 100 percent. :D

[Barkiss]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zifnab
And answer "Nothing" when asked what's wrong to I bet!

So when men ask women "Whats wrong?" Why do women say "nothing!"

Personally for me it's because right now at this very moment I don't want to talk to you, I would much rather rip you a new asshole. So leave it alone and ask me later, stop saying nooooo I know somethings wrong, what is it! OMG men just keep on and on and on, if they actually knew what women were thinking they would go find a rock to crawl under and hide.

Bring it on lil' woman!

[Shiane]

lol i agree with that 100 percent. :D

Seeeeee! How often do you find two women who agree on anything 100%:D

[Shiane]

Bring it on lil' woman!

Honey the lil woman will deal with you when you grow up "lil man":na

[Barkiss]

Honey the lil woman will deal with you when you grow up:D

Can't handle it now, what makes you think you could handle when it gets bigger??

[Shiane]

Can't handle it now, what makes you think you could handle when it gets bigger??

Oh so now we're gonna make this a penis issue, hey i've always said size does matter!:D

[Barkiss]

Oh so now we're gonna make this a penis issue, hey i've always said size does matter!:D

Ok...now you are getting insulting! ;) And I wasn't referring to penis ;)

[Zifnab]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zifnab
And answer "Nothing" when asked what's wrong to I bet!

So when men ask women "Whats wrong?" Why do women say "nothing!"

Personally for me it's because right now at this very moment I don't want to talk to you, I would much rather rip you a new asshole. So leave it alone and ask me later, stop saying nooooo I know somethings wrong, what is it! OMG men just keep on and on and on, if they actually knew what women were thinking they would go find a rock to crawl under and hide.

Go figure....
If we don't ask we are insensitive if we do we are intruding, and then they wonder why we avoid such times!!!!
HELLO, IT AIN'T ROCKET SIENCE!!!! ITS SURVIVAL! CAUSE YOU WOMEN ARE CRACKED!!!:lmao:lmao

[Shiane]

Ok...now you are getting insulting! ;) And I wasn't referring to penis ;)

LMAO Yeah right! :55

[Shiane]

Go figure....
If we don't ask we are insensitive if we do we are intruding, and then they wonder why we avoid such times!!!!
HELLO, IT AIN'T ROCKET SIENCE!!!! ITS SURVIVAL! CAUSE YOU WOMEN ARE CRACKED!!!:lmao:lmao

YOU'RE RIGHT IT AIN'T ROCKET SCIENCE!!!!

1. Dont ask and you're an insensitive asshole.
2. Keep asking and you're being a pain in the ass.

Yeppers pretty much you men rub our cracks the wrong way on occasion :na

[Zifnab]

YOU'RE RIGHT IT AIN'T ROCKET SIENCE!!!!

1. Dont ask and you're an insensitive asshole.
2. Keep asking and you're being a pain in the ass.

Yeppers pretty much you men rub our cracks the wrong way on occasion :na
LOL Finally an honest answer!:lmao:lmao

[Shiane]

LOL Finally an honest answer!:lmao:lmao


LMAO you said it! I just wonder if you read it before you agreed the above statement was correct!:lmao :lmao

lol right AGAIN!:na

[Zifnab]

LMAO you said it! I just wonder if you read it before you agreed the above statement was correct!:lmao :lmao

lol right AGAIN!:na
of course! I get told every time I rub it isn't the right way!

[Shiane]

of course! I get told every time I rub it isn't the right way!

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww I'm sorry.:(

I can recommend a thread to help that problem, its called The Perfect Oral:55

[MCat]

And answer "Nothing" when asked what's wrong to I bet!

Exactly!

[MCat]

MC: I don't agree with you completely. MEN tend to hide their feelings for the most part. We react emotionally. We can't show that it makes us fearful. We can't show us that it is painful. We can't show that the news is terrible.....

so we "brush it away" methinks....and we are unable to dilute the crappy news away in the urines as we should probably.....and years later...we are suprised when we are still digesting the bad news...in the form of cancer or perhaps a heart attack.

Yes men naturally hide their feelings more than women.

I remember when I was a child....my Mom would be ranting and raving over what I now think were the stupidest things and my Dad would just sit in the chair and fall asleep.

Now that I am older and I really know my Dad, I realize that was his way of controlling his anger and emotions. He had a very bad childhood (which I did not know about till I was older). If he would not have ignored Mom he probably would have killed her.

I don't remember my Mom and Dad ever saying they loved each other or telling my sister and I they loved us. I know they do and they are happy with each other after 50 years of marriage.

I was determined not to be the kind of wife my Mom was....yes she loves Dad but boy is she a complaining bitch at times. I used to wonder why he didn't leave her...must have been because he loves her and sees her differently than I do.

In the past I think I had some major anger issues. It was a real struggle for me when my kids were little. I wanted to scream at them like mom screamed at us....I tried not too but ended up doing it too much. Hank would tell me....Mama, don't yell so at the kids. I bought all kinds of books on assertive discipline, took classes at our church, even altered my diet and theirs to try and help control anger. We were regular church goers when the kids were young and in school....I think that helped immensely. I was happy and the kids were happy. We have tried to always TALK out the problems, sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't.

Hank is and always has been a very gentle, kind man. He had a gentle father (so we've been told) He died when Hank was 10, but he must have passed the good genes on. His mom was quiet and gentle also. I don't remember seeing her angry about anything. Hank tends to get real quiet when he is upset...he's probably afraid to bring anything up cause he thinks I might go ballistic. We are better with our communication in the last couple years....just wish we would have done it a long time ago.

We tried to raise our kids so they know we love each other no matter what and we have never ever said hateful or cruel things to each other. We have always told our kids that we love them too. I want them to always be able to freely hug and kiss us. I still am not comfortable hugging my mom. It just seems almost wrong, doesn't feel good.

Our daughter heard us having a heated discussion once about 10 years ago and she was positive that we were going to separate....she cried so and told me she loved me but she would go with Dad if he left so he wouldn't be alone. She is a loving person, but I don't think she would be good mother material...I hope she doesn't have children. She deals with things by ignoring them when they are not going so well.

Our Son has grown into a very kind, gentle man like his father who is not afraid to show his emotions. He never really wanted to be in any certain line of work, he only wanted to get job, get married and start life. I was so thrilled at his wedding, while we were dancing he was comfortable enough to tell me he loved me and would be happy like Hank and I were. He is now 20, married almost a year and expecting a first baby in September.

And yes....most of my family dies of heart disease. We must bottle up most of the emotion until it explodes.

Most of Hanks family dies from cancer.....that would be the digesting of bad news you mentioned.

We all have to die from something....I just hope mine is clean and quick.

Oh hell, I think I strayed off the topic.......but whatever.....:D

[MCat]

ANGER: Unfortunately controlling this is not my strong point. As I have gotten older omg if you piss me off, you're going to know about it. I used to keep it bottled up until I exploded. Now it's like I feel like I will explode if I don't get it off my chest. Typically I'm not real nice when I'm mad, and neither are the words I use to express myself. I don't cut people down with derogitory comments, I give it to them in a very direct, straight in your face manner. I don't cry unless I'm very hurt or very mad. I do try to avoid any confrontation until I have cooled off a bit.

This sounds like me at work......damn I am not good at handling confrontation. Twice now in 5 years I have exploded and told a coworker to go Fuck Herself.

I am very good with irrate patients/customers/clients. I am calm, reassuring, helpful, understanding. But put me in a room with a slacking, whining coworker and I go nuts.

[Norfolkdave]

Yes men naturally hide their feelings more than women.

I remember when I was a child....my Mom would be ranting and raving over what I now think were the stupidest things and my Dad would just sit in the chair and fall asleep.

Now that I am older and I really know my Dad, I realize that was his way of controlling his anger and emotions. He had a very bad childhood (which I did not know about till I was older). If he would not have ignored Mom he probably would have killed her.

I don't remember my Mom and Dad ever saying they loved each other or telling my sister and I they loved us. I know they do and they are happy with each other after 50 years of marriage.

I was determined not to be the kind of wife my Mom was....yes she loves Dad but boy is she a complaining bitch at times. I used to wonder why he didn't leave her...must have been because he loves her and sees her differently than I do.

In the past I think I had some major anger issues. It was a real struggle for me when my kids were little. I wanted to scream at them like mom screamed at us....I tried not too but ended up doing it too much. Hank would tell me....Mama, don't yell so at the kids. I bought all kinds of books on assertive discipline, took classes at our church, even altered my diet and theirs to try and help control anger. We were regular church goers when the kids were young and in school....I think that helped immensely. I was happy and the kids were happy. We have tried to always TALK out the problems, sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't.

Hank is and always has been a very gentle, kind man. He had a gentle father (so we've been told) He died when Hank was 10, but he must have passed the good genes on. His mom was quiet and gentle also. I don't remember seeing her angry about anything. Hank tends to get real quiet when he is upset...he's probably afraid to bring anything up cause he thinks I might go ballistic. We are better with our communication in the last couple years....just wish we would have done it a long time ago.

We tried to raise our kids so they know we love each other no matter what and we have never ever said hateful or cruel things to each other. We have always told our kids that we love them too. I want them to always be able to freely hug and kiss us. I still am not comfortable hugging my mom. It just seems almost wrong, doesn't feel good.

Our daughter heard us having a heated discussion once about 10 years ago and she was positive that we were going to separate....she cried so and told me she loved me but she would go with Dad if he left so he wouldn't be alone. She is a loving person, but I don't think she would be good mother material...I hope she doesn't have children. She deals with things by ignoring them when they are not going so well.

Our Son has grown into a very kind, gentle man like his father who is not afraid to show his emotions. He never really wanted to be in any certain line of work, he only wanted to get job, get married and start life. I was so thrilled at his wedding, while we were dancing he was comfortable enough to tell me he loved me and would be happy like Hank and I were. He is now 20, married almost a year and expecting a first baby in September.

And yes....most of my family dies of heart disease. We must bottle up most of the emotion until it explodes.

Most of Hanks family dies from cancer.....that would be the digesting of bad news you mentioned.

We all have to die from something....I just hope mine is clean and quick.

Oh hell, I think I strayed off the topic.......but whatever.....:D

No you havent strayed off, I found this post very beautiful indeed. Im one of the guys Mary that do show there emotions, with chris as she is, I have told her last night and this morning and now the truth on my side will come out and I will proberly take some stick from it, but if we are talking the truth here then let it be said, Im frightened of the dark, and being alone for these three days chris will be in hospital. Daylight hours Im ok nightime Im not. We have never been apart and not at night so its tearing at me. Even when chris goes for the operation I will fear losing her, yes Im being me now, Soft old dave the guy with a big heart and a soft heart, the different dave than I portray on here. When in private yes with chris I,ll do anything, but out I put the hard act on to protect her, but without her Im heartbroken, so no I dont think you strayed of the point, you told us who you two really are and that I applaud you.:wa: A gentle caring couple, with a loving family.

[MCat]

No you havent strayed off, I found this post very beautiful indeed. Im one of the guys Mary that do show there emotions, with chris as she is, I have told her last night and this morning and now the truth on my side will come out and I will proberly take some stick from it, but if we are talking the truth here then let it be said, Im frightened of the dark, and being alone for these three days chris will be in hospital. Daylight hours Im ok nightime Im not. We have never been apart and not at night so its tearing at me. Even when chris goes for the operation I will fear losing her, yes Im being me now, Soft old dave the guy with a big heart and a soft heart, the different dave than I portray on here. When in private yes with chris I,ll do anything, but out I put the hard act on to protect her, but without her Im heartbroken, so no I dont think you strayed of the point, you told us who you two really are and that I applaud you.:wa: A gentle caring couple, with a loving family.

Dave, leave the light on while shes gone, sleep close to her pillow and say your prayers. :knuddel:

[Norfolkdave]

Dave, leave the light on while shes gone, sleep close to her pillow and say your prayers. :knuddel:

Silly arent I, a grown man being like this, but its followed me since my early teens years, and I cant shake it:knuddel:

[Marika]

Silly arent I, a grown man being like this, but its followed me since my early teens years, and I cant shake it:knuddel:
No, Im silly of being afraid of people on this board. And foolish for knowing my friends when Isee them., and being afraid of them too.

You are indimiidting! But you do something on this board

[SirFox]

No you havent strayed off, I found this post very beautiful indeed. Im one of the guys Mary that do show there emotions, with chris as she is, I have told her last night and this morning and now the truth on my side will come out and I will proberly take some stick from it, but if we are talking the truth here then let it be said, Im frightened of the dark, and being alone for these three days chris will be in hospital. Daylight hours Im ok nightime Im not. We have never been apart and not at night so its tearing at me. Even when chris goes for the operation I will fear losing her, yes Im being me now, Soft old dave the guy with a big heart and a soft heart, the different dave than I portray on here. When in private yes with chris I,ll do anything, but out I put the hard act on to protect her, but without her Im heartbroken, so no I dont think you strayed of the point, you told us who you two really are and that I applaud you.:wa: A gentle caring couple, with a loving family.

I cannot tell you how much I am surprised at your saying what you have said. You have come a long way David. There are so many MEN who still hide their feelings.

Women are not emotional creatures. WE ARE ALL. If we men were a little more emotional about things, we would cry, yes, and get the rage out of us and admit certain things that WOULD MAKE US stronger.

Because we have tendencies to be macho, we are actually ironically, WEAKER.
By being emotional, we will be able to be better LOVERS, better MEN, better HUSBANDS, and better understand the opposite sex. We can than start to ask that females be better in love, in their bodies, as mothers, as wives

AND both as ...

HUMAN BEINGS.

I will tell you one day some of the things that I cry about. You may be surprised...and I am not a sissy. I am ME.

Congratulations David. You have started your personal healing My Friend.

[Norfolkdave]

No, Im silly of being afraid of people on this board. And foolish for knowing my friends when Isee them., and being afraid of them too.

You are indimiidting! But you do something on this board

Im me and I try to normally make others laugh that makes me happy but at the moment Im crossed between happyness and a bit of sadness and Im trying to be as honest as I feel, marys post brought how i feel out and as I have so many friends on here I felt its time to be a little more truthful.

[Sandy]

mc that was so beatiful, thank you for sharing. :kk and dav my friend, please don't be embarrased i can't sleep without mark, i don't know why, but if hes gone i'm up till i just fall out. it sounds crazy i know, but i'm only safe if hes home. so turn on the light like mc, said and hold her pillow, we'll keep you in our prayers. we're here for you to my friend. :kk

[Norfolkdave]

I cannot tell you how much I am surprised at your saying what you have said. You have come a long way David. There are so many MEN who still hide their feelings.

Women are not emotional creatures. WE ARE ALL. If we men were a little more emotional about things, we would cry, yes, and get the rage out of us and admit certain things that WOULD MAKE US stronger.

Because we have tendencies to be macho, we are actually ironically, WEAKER.
By being emotional, we will be able to be better LOVERS, better MEN, better HUSBANDS, and better understand the opposite sex. We can than start to ask that females be better in love, in their bodies, as mothers, as wives

AND both as ...

HUMAN BEINGS.

I will tell you one day some of the things that I cry about. You may be surprised...and I am not a sissy. I am ME.

Congratulations David. You have started your personal healing My Friend.

I have many friends on here and I felt its time to be me, to bring my emotions out, I cant go on forever bottling, but thats me. Yes Im frightened of the dark and being so alone and on here Im not, many times I wanted to express myself but felt Id be a laughing stock, I am an old sentimentalist and at school I got bullied yet on here i feel the site is a family, a family of loving souls and if one is truthful then feelings can be shared more. Yes I am scared of being alone when chris goes into hospital and I did cry just now I sobbed my heart out for we have never been apart and Im going to be so lost. I read everybodies else life on here and think I wish I could be like you all, I really do, but Im not Im me a guy that is afraid of the dark and pain and hurt, I try to be Mr hardman but Im not. Im just me big old softee dave who will do anything for anyone yes will suffer in silence and today it just came out. Im sorry if I shed a different light on me and perhaps I will get some stick, so be it, but now everyone will see me as dave the old softee.................:knuddel:

[sweetgapeach]

DOWN/ DEPRESSED:: I try not to let myself get down , especially over the little things , waste of energy , and I always keep in mind "Let go Let God " .

NERVOUS/ANXIOUS: Typically I do not have a real problem with this , in fact I will handle it better , if I am nervous or anxiuos just to get it done with .

ANGER: I have a temper , but I take alot before I blow. I have always kept stuff inside ,and when had enough I blow . I dont look for confortations , but I will not back down from one either. I will have my say , and if I am mad , I will let all thats bothering me out. When I was younger I use to sit back and take was handed to me and just not say nothing, as I have gotten older I cant do this , I feel I have a right to stand up for myself . The one thing that bothers me about anger is that things are said that shouldnt be , or in a way thats hurtful.

[Shiane]

This sounds like me at work......damn I am not good at handling confrontation. Twice now in 5 years I have exploded and told a coworker to go Fuck Herself.

I am very good with irrate patients/customers/clients. I am calm, reassuring, helpful, understanding. But put me in a room with a slacking, whining coworker and I go nuts.

Oh you know it! It's hard for me to decide what bothers me more stupidity or just bitchiness. When I'm at work I most often am in charge, sometimes it just isn't worth the whole dollar an hour extra. I often wonder who in the hell interviews these people and hires them. I am a huge advocate in sharing your experience and knowledge but omg there are some people that are just plain stupid. We had this one nurse omg I think a wad of snot had more brains than she did. She would ask me questions that would make me grind my teeth and mumble obscenities. Anytime I worked with her I felt that I had to watch over her patients so she wouldn't kill them. I told her one day, you need to get out of nursing and go get a job at Mc Donalds where the worse thing you can do is burn a hamburger if you don't you are going to kill someone! I know that was cruel but I was serious. It got so bad I told them do not put her on my wing I refuse to be responsible for her. Finally they figured out how big a liability she was and fired her.

Another nurse omg she is just a bitch. One night I assigned her a patient I had taken care of the previous night, he and his wife were the sweetest people. Well 6 hours into the shift the wife comes out and asked to talk to me. They were pissed, they did not want her back in the room. So of course I smoothed things out never saying a a bad word about her to them. I said oh thats fine its no problem, I want your stay here to be a positive one and I will personally take care of you for the rest of the night. Well when I walked out of the room this nurse was freakin pissed she had called the house supervisor, behind my back. Of course placing all the blame on this sweet couple and me, well my initial plan was to downplay the whole situation and say to her you know I'll just take care of them, don't worry about it. I wasn't going to repeat what they had said about her. So after I came out and she had made this small issue into a huge fucking ordeal. I let her have it, said ya know you can't walk in a room bitchin, moaning and complaining, slamming doors, showing your ass and being hateful and not expect people to get upset. You told them you would do this and that was 6 hours ago and it is done now because I did it. I told her everything they had told me about her, and that they did not want her back in the room. She was bug eyed she was furious that I had made her look like a complete ass. The supervisor said well i don't have a nurse to bring over here to take care of them, I said thats ok the family is fine now, everything is cool. I had them last night, I'll just pick em up for the rest of the night. I said they are really sweet people, can't beat having patients like them, lol just digging at her. I was so freakin mad at her, but I kept my cool amazingly and made her look like the bitch she is. I still mumble obscenities everytime I see her though but I smile at her with a shit eating grin.

Thank God for the small pleasures in life! :D

[Norfolkdave]

mc that was so beatiful, thank you for sharing. :kk and dav my friend, please don't be embarrased i can't sleep without mark, i don't know why, but if hes gone i'm up till i just fall out. it sounds crazy i know, but i'm only safe if hes home. so turn on the light like mc, said and hold her pillow, we'll keep you in our prayers. we're here for you to my friend. :kk

Yes I will do that, I feel like you do in the daytime as well, but I can cope, its night Im not looking forward to, but we have had another talk today, I will be ok and she wants this operation then the lump has gone, we are hoping that it hasnt spread, chris checks herslf every night and tells me its still there and no other lumps anywhere so thats one good thing and she will hurt afterwards but the lump will be gone and then radiolgy for 6 weeks to ward it away.:wa: So the moral is Monday 13th you will have me annoying you all night until I crash out with exhaustion.

[spare_change]

Interesting thread -- and interesting comments. But, I must say I am somewhat surprised by the constant theme of hiding/subjugating our emotions, rather than dealing with the issue head on.

Some clean - some scream -- some ignore -- some go into a shell. What happened to reasoned, unemotional management of the situation?

In a crisis, some of us go to pieces - and for some of us, the world slows down and we deal with it unemotionally and logically. From the responses above, it would seem there are more of the former than the latter. Why must all things be dealt with emotionally? Can't clear thought and basic communications solve the problem?

I ain't even gonna tell you how I react --- I merely hypothesize.

[Barkiss]

Interesting thread -- and interesting comments. But, I must say I am somewhat surprised by the constant theme of hiding/subjugating our emotions, rather than dealing with the issue head on.

Some clean - some scream -- some ignore -- some go into a shell. What happened to reasoned, unemotional management of the situation?

In a crisis, some of us go to pieces - and for some of us, the world slows down and we deal with it unemotionally and logically. From the responses above, it would seem there are more of the former than the latter. Why must all things be dealt with emotionally? Can't clear thought and basic communications solve the problem?

I ain't even gonna tell you how I react --- I merely hypothesize.

I am so glad to see you are back to your philosophical ways...I was getting worried. (which is one of my characteristics if you read up)

[spare_change]

I am so glad to see you are back to your philosophical ways...I was getting worried. (which is one of my characteristics if you read up)

Thank you, sir -- but I am not philosophical, I'm curious!

[Zpanther]

Interesting thread -- and interesting comments. But, I must say I am somewhat surprised by the constant theme of hiding/subjugating our emotions, rather than dealing with the issue head on.

Some clean - some scream -- some ignore -- some go into a shell. What happened to reasoned, unemotional management of the situation?

In a crisis, some of us go to pieces - and for some of us, the world slows down and we deal with it unemotionally and logically. From the responses above, it would seem there are more of the former than the latter. Why must all things be dealt with emotionally? Can't clear thought and basic communications solve the problem?

I ain't even gonna tell you how I react --- I merely hypothesize.

uh huh..... well said!

[Cotties]

Spare, you must send some women up the wall with all that common sense. You need to bottle it up. Then sell it!:55 Interesting thread -- and interesting comments. But, I must say I am somewhat surprised by the constant theme of hiding/subjugating our emotions, rather than dealing with the issue head on.

Some clean - some scream -- some ignore -- some go into a shell. What happened to reasoned, unemotional management of the situation?

In a crisis, some of us go to pieces - and for some of us, the world slows down and we deal with it unemotionally and logically. From the responses above, it would seem there are more of the former than the latter. Why must all things be dealt with emotionally? Can't clear thought and basic communications solve the problem?

I ain't even gonna tell you how I react --- I merely hypothesize.

[spare_change]

Spare, you must send some women up the wall with all that common sense. You need to bottle it up. Then sell it!:55


LOL -- it is not always well received, that is true!

God forbid you should introduce logic during a meltdown!

[tiger50]

LOL -- it is not always well received, that is true!

God forbid you should introduce logic during a meltdown!

Meltdown aww fark where?????? :sc

[Cotties]

I often drink to calm myself down. It works wonders....critisize it all you want... it still works..

[tiger50]

I often drink to calm myself down. It works wonders....critisize it all you want... it still works..

funny i find that werks too along with a little soothing music.... :D

[Cotties]

Ear plugs are not a bad either if you a putting up with repetative crap you thought you had already solved the evening before..

Sorry Ffox... not making fun of the thread.. making fun of the situations that made the thread

[tiger50]

Ear plugs are not a bad either if you a putting up with repetative crap you thought you had already solved the evening before..

Sorry Ffox... not making fun of the thread.. making fun of the situations that made the thread

ohh yeh mate shitttt.... :D

[MCat]

Interesting thread -- and interesting comments. But, I must say I am somewhat surprised by the constant theme of hiding/subjugating our emotions, rather than dealing with the issue head on.

Some clean - some scream -- some ignore -- some go into a shell. What happened to reasoned, unemotional management of the situation?

In a crisis, some of us go to pieces - and for some of us, the world slows down and we deal with it unemotionally and logically. From the responses above, it would seem there are more of the former than the latter. Why must all things be dealt with emotionally? Can't clear thought and basic communications solve the problem?

I ain't even gonna tell you how I react --- I merely hypothesize.

Women are by nature more emotional than men.....its the way it is. If you find one that's not she must be half dead.

Logic and common sense are wonderful...if I could just shut up long enough to listen it might work.

[tiger50]

Women are by nature more emotional than men.....its the way it is. If you find one that's not she must be half dead.

Logic and common sense are wonderful...if I could just shut up long enough to listen it might work.

wat???? women and common sense.. sheeeeezzz .... a baaaaaaad mix....:D

[ravinghussy]

i scream and shout and break things - i luv that smashin sound

[Sandy]

i don't throw and break things anymore, it gets to expensive. :D











i scream and shout and break things - i luv that smashin sound

[sweetgapeach]

i don't throw and break things anymore, it gets to expensive. :D


My hubby use to do that too, got real expensive to figure His way out of Jail !!:lmao

[Norfolkdave]

Thats a childish behaviour to throw and break things! Christ these plates are sharp!:lmao

[Sandy]

lol thats the whole point dav, to knock some sense into you guys. :D :na

[Shiane]

i don't throw and break things anymore, it gets to expensive. :D

I've only been mad enough to throw something one time and that was a Mc Donalds cup full of soda. Of course afterwards I was laughing and then I had to clean up the mess.:whee:

[Sandy]

well i only threw siomething at mark once, the sad thing is it was my fav, statue of tigers head.

[sweetgapeach]

well i only threw siomething at mark once, the sad thing is it was my fav, statue of tigers head.


I have never thrown anything , worse I did was knock everything off a desk lol
He has thrown alot , I made him clean it up and replace everything lol

[ravinghussy]

I have never thrown anything , worse I did was knock everything off a desk lol
He has thrown alot , I made him clean it up and replace everything lol

replacing things is no where near as much fun as the smashin part

[Sunfiresix]

My wife did it once--she smashed a model ship I was building the U.S.S Constitution, I had three months work in it, completely demolished.

[ravinghussy]

My wife did it once--she smashed a model ship I was building the U.S.S Constitution, I had three months work in it, completely demolished.

yes but i bet that was the most satisfaction shed had in a long time lololol

[Sandy]

well like i said, i only threw 1 thing at him in all these years, and i promise you, he won't push me that far again. :lmao

[Norfolkdave]

lol thats the whole point dav, to knock some sense into you guys. :D :na

Not my best china, Oh no no no no no:D but I dont need sense knocked into me Im Mr Perfect ( LOL):lmao

[Wet Beaver]

i slam cabniet doors,,,drawers......and door.......broken a few of them also...

[Sandy]

yeah right, mr. perfect my butt. :D :na

[Norfolkdave]

yeah right, mr. perfect my butt. :D :na

Brought a smile didnt I! ( perfect:D

[SirFox]

Have you feared being afraid? To put it another way, have you been afraid of fear? Have you heard of people who are so afraid of "everthing" that they simply just let LIFE pass them?

Are you sick at the idea of what might happen if "something were to happen to.... you if you had an accident and where unable to walk, or if your mate left you, or you lost your job, etc? Are you afraid of the consequences of an event happening to you whenever /whatever/ whomever? Do you know why?

I discovered about five years ago that I was afraid of being afraid. Sounds daft doesn't it? And yet...in my emotion structure....it was true....

I discoverd that I was afraid of...

Making a bad impression on people whom I just met,
Saying the wrong thing to the right people,
Making errors,
Having to to admit my wrong ways and errors,

Being hurt and hurting others,
Knowing the truth about my birth and my Family,
Being told and having to accept that I was a "good nothing", that I would never be any good,
Having to accept that myillness would never be cured,
Having to accept to become an invalid for the rest of my life,

Accepting the fact that I had been forced into marriage (and had not unable to resist my parent's pressure and her parents to marry),
Accepting that I had no personality,
Accepting that I was weak-willed, had no force of character,
Accepting that I was cowed into things that I did not want to do,
Accepting that I was insecure in LIFE in many things including profesional, career choices, friends, wives, men, love and , sex.

I wondered ...

Whether about my sexual identity as a man,
Whether I was a natural born gigolo, or/ and, whether I had a homosexual side to myself,
Why I loved WOMEN so much, ( I still do, Ladies..)...and what did attract me to them (relationship towards my mother for example?)
Why I had to go through TWO marriages to understand that I wasn't fit to be married..

Etc...

It was a fascinating journey to understand all that and more. Through plant therapy, I was able to conquer my "forced upon illness" (which traditional medicine was unable to do). I was able to understand that illness OFTEN comes from terrible resentiments, anger, identity crisis, "skeletons in the closet histories," etc...

I found that many illnesses come from the mismanagement of EMOTIONS. And I learned how to be more patient..

[Sandy]

i've heard of it ffox, but your the first person u know brave enough to admit it. my hat's off to you. :kk

[SirFox]

i've heard of it ffox, but your the first person u know brave enough to admit it. my hat's off to you. :kk

Sandy, Sandy, Oh Sandy..... I would not want you to catch a cold....if you take your hat off to me and salute me.....(I should be the doing that for a Lady)

Now exactly what kind of hat did you have in mind that you wanted to take off for me????? I am sure I would like you to take things off for me..... :lf

[Zifnab]

HEY I know that feeling! always wondered what it was.... dam, now I know.Have you feared being afraid? To put it another way, have you been afraid of fear? Have you heard of people who are so afraid of "everthing" that they simply just let LIFE pass them?

Are you sick at the idea of what might happen if "something were to happen to.... you if you had an accident and where unable to walk, or if your mate left you, or you lost your job, etc? Are you afraid of the consequences of an event happening to you whenever /whatever/ whomever? Do you know why?

I discovered about five years ago that I was afraid of being afraid. Sounds daft doesn't it? And yet...in my emotion structure....it was true....

I discoverd that I was afraid of...

Making a bad impression on people whom I just met,
Saying the wrong thing to the right people,
Making errors,
Having to to admit my wrong ways and errors,

Being hurt and hurting others,
Knowing the truth about my birth and my Family,
Being told and having to accept that I was a "good nothing", that I would never be any good,
Having to accept that myillness would never be cured,
Having to accept to become an invalid for the rest of my life,

Accepting the fact that I had been forced into marriage (and had not unable to resist my parent's pressure and her parents to marry),
Accepting that I had no personality,
Accepting that I was weak-willed, had no force of character,
Accepting that I was cowed into things that I did not want to do,
Accepting that I was insecure in LIFE in many things including profesional, career choices, friends, wives, men, love and , sex.

I wondered ...

Whether about my sexual identity as a man,
Whether I was a natural born gigolo, or/ and, whether I had a homosexual side to myself,
Why I loved WOMEN so much, ( I still do, Ladies..)...and what did attract me to them (relationship towards my mother for example?)
Why I had to go through TWO marriages to understand that I wasn't fit to be married..

Etc...

It was a fascinating journey to understand all that and more. Through plant therapy, I was able to conquer my "forced upon illness" (which traditional medicine was unable to do). I was able to understand that illness OFTEN comes from terrible resentiments, anger, identity crisis, "skeletons in the closet histories," etc...

I found that many illnesses come from the mismanagement of EMOTIONS. And I learned how to be more patient..

[cuddles]

you are so right zif:D

[upstr84u]

Don't get mad --- or upset -- it just ruins your day --- let it roll off your shoulders --- especially if someone is watching --- ticks them off if they see you handel it well and knowing that is just like getting them back --- so smile and be happy

[Zpanther]

It kind of depends on the issue with me. If it's something I consider very serious, I usually calmly analyze what the source of the problem is, how urgent and serious it is, the potential for it getting worse before it gets better, and what can be done about it. If lives are at stake, the worst thing you can do is get hysterical.

But I do have my hotbuttons. I don't have a lot of patience with people who are inconsiderate, irresponsible, lazy or intentionally incompetent (to name a few), and in those cases I do tend to verbalize my displeasure..... and then I'm over it pretty quickly

[upstr84u]

I dont ever show any negative emotions -- grief brings on more grief - you have a bad day so does someone else -- so I never show sad emotions only upbeat emotions for me

[SirFox]

It kind of depends on the issue with me. If it's something I consider very serious, I usually calmly analyze what the source of the problem is, how urgent and serious it is, the potential for it getting worse before it gets better, and what can be done about it. If lives are at stake, the worst thing you can do is get hysterical.

But I do have my hotbuttons. I don't have a lot of patience with people who are inconsiderate, irresponsible, lazy or intentionally incompetent (to name a few), and in those cases I do tend to verbalize my displeasure..... and then I'm over it pretty quickly

------------------------

I think ZP that one has to get a lot of crap off one's shoulders and off one's chest, otherwise it builds up and builds. There is no use continuing to live with resentiment about INCONSIDERATE, IRRESPONSIBLE, LAZY or INTENTIONALLY INCOMPETENT people to name a few greate themes. A good ROAR will help... but don't do it in front of your mother or father in law!

[G...G]

Hold them in until I absolutely can't stand it anymore and then explode!!!!!!

[Annie]

Not very well but my friends and the alchohol help! :friday:

[Annie]

I dont ever show any negative emotions -- grief brings on more grief - you have a bad day so does someone else -- so I never show sad emotions only upbeat emotions for me

How can anyone ever get to know the real you if you put on a "happy face" when you are upset, angry, hurt, and the list of negative emotions go on and on. Real everyday life isn't always a cake walk and pretending it is, is living a lie. If my friends are sad or feeling badly I'm not afraid to go there with them. I WANT to go there with them. I like sharing every part of myself with them and do likewise for them. I never want to be a "fair weather friend" to those I care deeply for. My real friends are worth every minute of sharing a "bad day", in fact I tell them that that's what I am here for!

[yaser]

Hold them in until I absolutely can't stand it anymore and then explode!!!!!!Like filling a dam with water more than it can keep?

[G...G]

Yes...



Like filling a dam with water more than it can keep?

[yaser]

I dont ever show any negative emotions -- grief brings on more grief - you have a bad day so does someone else -- so I never show sad emotions only upbeat emotions for meupstr84u,Try to have some courage to show you negative emotions becuase you have the right to show your neagtive emotions as well as positive ones say psychologists.I agree with them.

[Zpanther]

Hold them in until I absolutely can't stand it anymore and then explode!!!!!!

Sounds like Lady P. She'll avoid an issue if she can, but will eventually explode. Threw a knife at me one time after I playfully gave her a spanking..... just missed my head and stuck in the door moulding.

[Shiane]

I don't hold anything in.......... for very long lol. If i'm pissed, it doesn't take a genius to figure it out. When I'm sad, it doesn't last long, but when I am I tend to be very quiet, unusual for me. I am not a worrier, although I have been at times in the past. Figured out somewhere along the line that shit happens and somethings you can't change, so why worry about it. I hate anxiety that comes from worrying, usually about stupid shit too. Happiness is one emotion I try to focus on, one thing people say about me is that I've always got a smile on my face. For me I've found that if I dwell on the good things, the bad ones don't seem so bad. If you haven't figured out by now I am very opinionated and I don't make any excuses for it, thats just me. It's not always a negative opinion, I really try to live by the saying if you can't say something nice, don't say it at all. I hate liars, lazy co-workers, bull shitters, brown nosers, and stupid people. I am very tactful most of the time, until I get beyond pissed and then I don't sugar coat anything, regardless of who's feelings I hurt.

[Rainmaker]

I don't hold anything in.......... for very long lol. If i'm pissed, it doesn't take a genius to figure it out. When I'm sad, it doesn't last long, but when I am I tend to be very quiet, unusual for me. I am not a worrier, although I have been at times in the past. Figured out somewhere along the line that shit happens and somethings you can't change, so why worry about it. I hate anxiety that comes from worrying, usually about stupid shit too. Happiness is one emotion I try to focus on, one thing people say about me is that I've always got a smile on my face. For me I've found that if I dwell on the good things, the bad ones don't seem so bad. If you haven't figured out by now I am very opinionated and I don't make any excuses for it, thats just me. It's not always a negative opinion, I really try to live by the saying if you can't say something nice, don't say it at all. I hate liars, lazy co-workers, bull shitters, brown nosers, and stupid people. I am very tactful most of the time, until I get beyond pissed and then I don't sugar coat anything, regardless of who's feelings I hurt.

that sounds alot like me...only thing is when i hurt someones feelings.. it bothers me ..i guess thats a flaw i need to work on

[lovemakenman]

I dont have any emotions at this time in my life. I cant afford any while in training. I have not had anyt for some time since I have been home from being mobilized.

[Shiane]

I dont have any emotions at this time in my life. I cant afford any while in training. I have not had anyt for some time since I have been home from being mobilized.

Give yourself some time and hopefully things will return to normal, I'm sure you've been through some rough times. :kk

[Shiane]

that sounds alot like me...only thing is when i hurt someones feelings.. it bothers me ..i guess thats a flaw i need to work on

It's not a flaw, I don't like hurting people feelings but sometimes it can't be helped.

[Sandy]

i'm like you guys, i get quiet, but if somebody pushes my buttons look out, my italian temper will come out, and i don't like to lose control, cause i'll hurt somebody. and i really hate to hurt somebodies feelings.

[yaser]

that sounds alot like me...only thing is when i hurt someones feelings.. it bothers me ..i guess thats a flaw i need to work onI agree with you rain...u had nettre focus on the feeling flaw without interrupitng or avoiding..invite the feeling and let it flaw freely...

[G...G]

AND thats why I like ya:D



i'm like you guys, i get quiet, but if somebody pushes my buttons look out, my italian temper will come out, and i don't like to lose control, cause i'll hurt somebody. and i really hate to hurt somebodies feelings.

[lovemakenman]

Give yourself some time and hopefully things will return to normal, I'm sure you've been through some rough times. :kk

I guess! I may change afer 15 yrs of bull crud!

[G...G]

Love where have you been?



I guess! I may change afer 15 yrs of bull crud!

[yaser]

i'm like you guys, i get quiet, but if somebody pushes my buttons look out, my italian temper will come out, and i don't like to lose control, cause i'll hurt somebody. and i really hate to hurt somebodies feelings.Thre are three kinds of people say the researchers.passive ,agressive and assertive.Passive people give thights to someones voluntarily,agressive people violates the rights of othres, but the assrtive ones first protect the rights of others and nevere give permission to make someone violate his rights.I am trying to learn to be assertive.

[lovemakenman]

Love where have you been?

In th bermuda triangle! I guess at this time since I am drunken

[G...G]

Well let's get drunken together.....:D



In th bermuda triangle! I guess at this time since I am drunken

[yaser]

Yes...One day dam can collapse.... so empty it regularly little by little through the tap.

[Cotties]

interesting.....calm, cool and yet fed up.It kind of depends on the issue with me. If it's something I consider very serious, I usually calmly analyze what the source of the problem is, how urgent and serious it is, the potential for it getting worse before it gets better, and what can be done about it. If lives are at stake, the worst thing you can do is get hysterical.

But I do have my hotbuttons. I don't have a lot of patience with people who are inconsiderate, irresponsible, lazy or intentionally incompetent (to name a few), and in those cases I do tend to verbalize my displeasure..... and then I'm over it pretty quickly

[Shiane]

I guess! I may change afer 15 yrs of bull crud!

lol it could happen;)

[scoobertina]

I try very hard to hold things in until I just can't do it anymore.. I am horrible about exploding when I can't handle it anymore and I feel like I am being pushed...

I am also a crier.. I hate it but I am... I cry when I am happy.. I cry when I am mad... I cry when I am sad.... So.. I tend to cry alot.. I think I have been crying nonstop since October 9th, 2007... for one reason or another things have happened to me and I just have let go...

Don't get me wrong.. I am not completely sad.. just learning to adjust...

[Dir]

Can i better say how the emotions manage me ???:sry well is not that bad ..does it ???:sc LOL

[Constance]

I usually deal with my emotions in many different ways. The most common way, is I think about it and try to look at the situation. I usually come to some decision on how I feel about the matter and I deal with the best I can. I will express my feelings and thought to the matter and try to solve it if I can.

[Jules1]

I yell. Actually, its true...when I get really stressed I tend to take it out on those around me (the good thing is that I'm VERY laid back and it takes a lot to get me really stressed/angry)....I'm passionate and volatile like that.

[Atrebla Rose]

I have always dealt with them on my own,,,usually quietly and not wanting to bother anyone!
Now I am slowly learning to lean on others for support, and comfort. Its a long learning process but I am doing it!!

I dont yell,,,,yelling makes everything worse. I cry, but once again,,,I wont let anyone see that side of me.

Dealing with emotions is a new concept for me,,,,leaning on someone who cares, is even newer. But it does feel good! So onwards and upwards!

[SirFox]

I try very hard to hold things in until I just can't do it anymore.. I am horrible about exploding when I can't handle it anymore and I feel like I am being pushed...

I am also a crier.. I hate it but I am... I cry when I am happy.. I cry when I am mad... I cry when I am sad.... So.. I tend to cry alot.. I think I have been crying nonstop since October 9th, 2007... for one reason or another things have happened to me and I just have let go...

Don't get me wrong.. I am not completely sad.. just learning to adjust...

So if I understand it, when you laugh you cry as well?

[SirFox]

Can i better say how the emotions manage me ???:sry well is not that bad ..does it ???:sc LOL

You mean emotions are like a wave? They come over you, and you act accordingly?

Why do you say "you are sorry"? Are your excusing yourself because you are saying something about yourself?

[redcat]

I deal with my emotions differently, depending upon the situation. I seldom get truly angry anymore, but when I do I shut down, externally. I get very quiet and my face becomes expressionless, which to those that know me, is an excellent indicator. On the inside, my mind goes non-stop though. The good thing is I get over my anger very quickly!

Being hurt or hurting someone, happy or sad....the result is usually crying. I don't like it, it makes me feel weak, but it also provides a relief. Fortunately, the crying doesn't usually last a long time either. I tend to back up, regroup, and try to look at the brighter side of things.

[SirFox]

I deal with my emotions differently, depending upon the situation. I seldom get truly angry anymore, but when I do I shut down, externally. I get very quiet and my face becomes expressionless, which to those that know me, is an excellent indicator. On the inside, my mind goes non-stop though. The good thing is I get over my anger very quickly!

Being hurt or hurting someone, happy or sad....the result is usually crying. I don't like it, it makes me feel weak, but it also provides a relief. Fortunately, the crying doesn't usually last a long time either. I tend to back up, regroup, and try to look at the brighter side of things.


I LOVE a mind that goes non-stop. If the body follows, then there is the potential of a superbe bomb.

[redcat]

I LOVE a mind that goes non-stop. If the body follows, then there is the potential of a superbe bomb.


It does, especially when following a good leader....

[tigger1954]

I remember to breath, and that is a two part process...in as well as out. So good at in and holding. And most of the time its not personnal...I just happen to be the innocent bystander when someone else looses it. How can I be helpful to them...after I get over my shock!

[SirFox]

It does, especially when following a good leader....

You embarass me REDCAT. What makes you think that?

I prefer to be working in the shadows and to "negotiate" things. Would rather be an advisor to a President or his Secretary of Foreign Affairs than the prime minister or the president himself.

[redcat]

You embarass me REDCAT. What makes you think that?

I prefer to be working in the shadows and to "negotiate" things. Would rather be an advisor to a President or his Secretary of Foreign Affairs than the prime minister or the president himself.



:sry

[SirFox]

:sry

That was my way of saying thanks....funny eh?:sng

[redcat]

That was my way of saying thanks....funny eh?:sng

:sng I'll just go dry my eyes now....lol

[OnceAKing]

Emotions.... who needs em! At least that's what part of me wants to say and believe. But the truth is, I've never been able to quite perfect that ideology in my life, and boy am i thankful...most of the time.

For most areas of my life I approach them all with a logical, pragmatic mindset...work my way through analyzing the problem, it's cause, and then develop a plan to solve and fix it. I think my training and years of being a pilot promoted that. Way up in the wild blue is not a good time to lose control or be indecisive when things happen or go wrong. Hence, I've been able to approach most of the day to day happenings, disappointment, mechanical break-downs and or accidental things using that process to get to a solution and stay in a reasonable amount of control of my emotions.

Two,,,yep those two, are not so easy nor or they very predictable...Anger...been said i am sorta quick to speak my mind and when i do it's done with very few words and because of that they are sharp and to the point...I do try to not say things i don't mean and therefore have to take them back...eating crow just never suited me very well. But once said i'm over it..and soon forgotten and not held in me or against anyone.

And then there's that damned L word emotion...never have quite figured it out or what to do with it...best just kept stuffed inside and... i'll deal with it in another life...No thats not true...I don't know,,,In the end it always seems to have it's own mind and I just try to stay close enough to sorta stay in touch...Geeeeze, I really don't know.

[fly]

I'm suppose to MANAGE them????
WAIT..........how did I miss THAT memo?

[Sensual Woman]

Emotions.... who needs em! At least that's what part of me wants to say and believe. But the truth is, I've never been able to quite perfect that ideology in my life, and boy am i thankful...most of the time.

For most areas of my life I approach them all with a logical, pragmatic mindset...work my way through analyzing the problem, it's cause, and then develop a plan to solve and fix it. I think my training and years of being a pilot promoted that. Way up in the wild blue is not a good time to lose control or be indecisive when things happen or go wrong. Hence, I've been able to approach most of the day to day happenings, disappointment, mechanical break-downs and or accidental things using that process to get to a solution and stay in a reasonable amount of control of my emotions.

Two,,,yep those two, are not so easy nor or they very predictable...Anger...been said i am sorta quick to speak my mind and when i do it's done with very few words and because of that they are sharp and to the point...I do try to not say things i don't mean and therefore have to take them back...eating crow just never suited me very well. But once said i'm over it..and soon forgotten and not held in me or against anyone.

And then there's that damned L word emotion...never have quite figured it out or what to do with it...best just kept stuffed inside and... i'll deal with it in another life...No thats not true...I don't know,,,In the end it always seems to have it's own mind and I just try to stay close enough to sorta stay in touch...Geeeeze, I really don't know.

Logical and pragmatic are two words rarely used to describe me. I tend to be very emotional, but can discuss things calmly...then go off by myself and let them out....

[scoobertina]

So if I understand it, when you laugh you cry as well?

There have been many times where I have been crying as I laughed.. yes..

what does that say to you? to me it says I can't control my emotions.. they get the best of me...

[Tiglet]

Emotions.... who needs em!

And then there's that damned L word emotion...never have quite figured it out or what to do with it...best just kept stuffed inside and... i'll deal with it in another life...No thats not true...I don't know,,,In the end it always seems to have it's own mind and I just try to stay close enough to sorta stay in touch...Geeeeze, I really don't know.

I have never figured out how to deal with the "L word emotion" and I truly hope I never do. When I fall in love there is no time to think or reason. My mind and heart are filled with love, all is right with the world, nothing can go wrong. It is such a fleeting feeling that I savour it for as long as I can.

[Goodfella]

i have to work real hard to keep my emotions in check. especially my anger. i will admit and it's not necessarily my best trait, i have a hair trigger temper. many times i tend to blow up and go on the attack instead of stepping back and thinking before i bite. i've been working on this most my life and, i'm sure, i will be working on it when i'm 80 years old.

[Atrebla Rose]

i have to work real hard to keep my emotions in check. especially my anger. i will admit and it's not necessarily my best trait, i have a hair trigger temper. many times i tend to blow up and go on the attack instead of stepping back and thinking before i bite. i've been working on this most my life and, i'm sure, i will be working on it when i'm 80 years old.


SNAP!!!! get a handle on it,,,its a killer! and your too cute to let it beatcha!

[Goodfella]

SNAP!!!! get a handle on it,,,its a killer! and your too cute to let it beatcha!


thanks so much rose. yep, it's something that i battle with and will battle forever. i'm much much better at controling it now than when i was a younger man. whew! back then, it was bad. it's in the blood i think. and thank you so much for the sweet compliment. at my age, it's nice to be called cute!!!

[cicero]

I am not big on emotions, I keep things bottled up until it erupts. When it comes to anger I have a very short fuse, everybody makes the joke because I am half Italian and half Greek, but I really want to know how to control this. I found out the other day that I am on the critical list because of blood pressure and the doc thinks I have already had 1 very minor heart attack so now I am on this nasty ass diet and half to excercise. I am only 33 and thought nothing of it but I don't want to see my kids watch me go through the same thing I watched my father do until it killed him at 52.

[Goodfella]

cicero...brother, it's in the blood i telll ya. and you got it bad being half italian and half greek. all ya can do is work on it. it will never go away because it's just the way it is. you learn to control it and tamp it down. i relate to you my friend.

[Sensual Woman]

I am not big on emotions, I keep things bottled up until it erupts. When it comes to anger I have a very short fuse, everybody makes the joke because I am half Italian and half Greek, but I really want to know how to control this. I found out the other day that I am on the critical list because of blood pressure and the doc thinks I have already had 1 very minor heart attack so now I am on this nasty ass diet and half to excercise. I am only 33 and thought nothing of it but I don't want to see my kids watch me go through the same thing I watched my father do until it killed him at 52.

Cicero, you will never totally eliminate that part of yourself, but for your own sake you have to learn how to rechannel those emotions. Both Italians and Greeks are very passionate (I have always had a weakness for Italian men), but instead of looking to supress your emotions you need to redirect them. Don't surpress them...that can be even worse for your health. If you are into sports, go play ball when you are angry. Or got play some "angry" music (I do this). If you are into video games, play them for while until you calm down. Punch a pillow, or get yourself a punching bag to let it out. Let others know when you feel yourself having a short fuse...just excuse yourself, and come back when you calm down....

It is evident to me that you love your wife and want to make your marriage work. In order to do that though, taking care of yourself is imperative. You owe it not only to your wife and kids, but to yourself as well.

[Goodfella]

did i hear yu right sensual, you have a weakness for italian men?!!!!

[MrHyde]

I'm a therapist...so I obviously know the importance of going to therapy. Guys, gals...trust me..emotions are hard wired into us and we need someone else to help us figure out how they work in us. Everybody is different and comes with different life experiences. Nothing is more telling than your patterns of emotions in relationships...Anyone ever need a little more..let me know...the first one is aways free.

[Sensual Woman]

did i hear yu right sensual, you have a weakness for italian men?!!!!

Ya heard right, hun.....:ok

and Mr. Hyde, I am a former therapist.....

[MrHyde]

Ya heard right, hun.....:ok

and Mr. Hyde, I am a former therapist.....

Former...what happened?

[oenoloire]

I deal with my emotions differently, depending upon the situation. I seldom get truly angry anymore, but when I do I shut down, externally. I get very quiet and my face becomes expressionless, which to those that know me, is an excellent indicator. On the inside, my mind goes non-stop though. The good thing is I get over my anger very quickly!

Being hurt or hurting someone, happy or sad....the result is usually crying. I don't like it, it makes me feel weak, but it also provides a relief. Fortunately, the crying doesn't usually last a long time either. I tend to back up, regroup, and try to look at the brighter side of things.
Couldn't have said it better myself...that's exactly how I deal too!

[ohreally?]

I have been going to the same therapist for 25 years. Most of the time we talk about our vacations and laugh. His wife is in the next office and I often wonder what she is thinking about all the hootin and howlin and belly laughing going on in there. There isnt one emotion I cant deal with by laughing at myself or the situation. My 22 year old has been to the same therapist for 5 years, and hubby goes once in a while.
You will never see a group of saner, happier and funnier people.
JUST LAUGH AND HAVE A GOOD TIME!!!!! YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE!!!!!!

[Sensual Woman]

Former...what happened?

Too emotionally draining....Went into teaching instead...special education. Not much better...lol...

[Atrebla Rose]

Emotions.... who needs em! At least that's what part of me wants to say and believe. But the truth is, I've never been able to quite perfect that ideology in my life, and boy am i thankful...most of the time.

For most areas of my life I approach them all with a logical, pragmatic mindset...work my way through analyzing the problem, it's cause, and then develop a plan to solve and fix it. I think my training and years of being a pilot promoted that. Way up in the wild blue is not a good time to lose control or be indecisive when things happen or go wrong. Hence, I've been able to approach most of the day to day happenings, disappointment, mechanical break-downs and or accidental things using that process to get to a solution and stay in a reasonable amount of control of my emotions.

Two,,,yep those two, are not so easy nor or they very predictable...Anger...been said i am sorta quick to speak my mind and when i do it's done with very few words and because of that they are sharp and to the point...I do try to not say things i don't mean and therefore have to take them back...eating crow just never suited me very well. But once said i'm over it..and soon forgotten and not held in me or against anyone.

And then there's that damned L word emotion...never have quite figured it out or what to do with it...best just kept stuffed inside and... i'll deal with it in another life...No thats not true...I don't know,,,In the end it always seems to have it's own mind and I just try to stay close enough to sorta stay in touch...Geeeeze, I really don't know.


so the "L" would that be the lovely word LOVE,,,,or the dreaded word LONELY? One you need to deal with in this life time,,,,the other, I agree can be dealt with in another,,,,,,hmmmmmm Ice breaker I believe was used in the past....melting?

[IsThisIt@50?]

Have learned through life experience and work experience to act instead of react when presented with challenging situations. Have always found it easier to keep my emotions in check when dealing with work situations (medical emergencies/trauma) but even then have my limits. Was always able to handle the situation at the time it occurred but wasn't beyond falling apart later (such as death of child, murder/suicide involving kids, etc). My weakest area is obviously handling emotions when dealing with family, particularly the ones closest to me. Have learned through too much practice how to control my temper and feelings but am more likely to lose control when constantly beat up (figuratively, not literally) by family members, such as my youngest daughter. Generally, if you know I am upset (mad) and you see my eyes start watering (like crying), you best move out of the way...cause the volcano's errupting...

[MrHyde]

Too emotionally draining....Went into teaching instead...special education. Not much better...lol...

Yeah no kidding. People that work with others are probably the ones that need emotional release more than anyone. I mean, I do.

[Checkmate]

Yeah no kidding. People that work with others are probably the ones that need emotional release more than anyone. I mean, I do.

Amen Hyde. I do think that anyone that doesn't have some sort of outlet is a ticking time bomb though.... just my 2 shillings.

[Sensual Woman]

Yeah no kidding. People that work with others are probably the ones that need emotional release more than anyone. I mean, I do.

Especially in my school...I work for a poor urban school district. But I had a great mentor who taught me that you have to look at it with some humor to reduce the stress......it definitely helps

[rock_star2008]

When things go wrong and its stressfull, my relief is to workout...I'll workout so hard it hurts for a few weeks afterwards.

[kaoskd]

There is no cure for emotion. Some of us do all we can to hide them depending on our surroundings ie. I'd be damned if I was going to cry in Afghanistan when my daughter wrote "daddy" on my birthday card! The thing that matters is if how you deal with your emotions is productive. I don't argue. Why, it's not worth it, when you argue, you stop listening and your own emotions tend to kick in. So, I listen, do what I can to understand and do my best to see if I'm coming across correctly. If I caught my wife cheating....I wouldn't ask "why"? It's a waste of time, what's happened has happened, move on. The are over a billion people on this earth, someone else is out there:) Sorry, I drift at times, but making your emotion productive keeps my life happy...just how I like it:)

[yaser]

There two kinds of emotions..Harmful and useful..Harmful ones are determined by distorted thinking....I try to change my automatic thinking styles..I love the saying of Epictetus :What happened tpo you is not important but what you think what happened is..I try to change what the value of the event fo me..

[SirFox]

There is no cure for emotion. Some of us do all we can to hide them depending on our surroundings ie. I'd be damned if I was going to cry in Afghanistan when my daughter wrote "daddy" on my birthday card! The thing that matters is if how you deal with your emotions is productive. I don't argue. Why, it's not worth it, when you argue, you stop listening and your own emotions tend to kick in. So, I listen, do what I can to understand and do my best to see if I'm coming across correctly. If I caught my wife cheating....I wouldn't ask "why"? It's a waste of time, what's happened has happened, move on. The are over a billion people on this earth, someone else is out there:) Sorry, I drift at times, but making your emotion productive keeps my life happy...just how I like it:)

Interesting.

[slim]

i usually keep my emotions pretty well in check.i don't let a lot of things out but i deal with them within.when i run into something new and maybe scary,i just tell myself that there are tousands of people who have been here before and they survived and so will i.i don't generally get mad,however i do get disappointed.people can and will disappoint you and you will disappoint some people along the way.that's why it's important to be forgiving,always give a person a second chance.but you have to be more cautious the second time around.in general most people are pretty ok.a small percentage of them seem to harden our hearts.there really is some good in everyone.

[catmom]

I'm afraid I don't handle my emotions very well. I'm pretty much an open book and so my emotions aren't any more hidden then the rest of me....

[WandaRing]

My emotions are all over the place lately because of all the stress and crap that is happening with "him." When it starts to become too stressful and difficult I tend to pull away from those that do care or overreact to situations or I shut right down. It is so tiring being stuck here.

[Maddi]

It depends on the situations but I usually rely on my friends. If I can't talk to them and cry on their shoulder, then I break something and that always seems to make me feel better.

[Torin]

I usually put on my happy face, no matter how crummy things get. I think happiness is a choice, and that *I* am in control of ME. I can't control outside things that are stressful, and hard to deal with... but I CAN control how I deal with them. So, I smile. I turn on my favorite music, light a candle with an uplifting scent, put on some lipgloss, and dance with my kids, or just lay down and breathe.

I think a HUGE part of why I can handle things so calmly is because I run every day. I push myself to the limit every single morning.... its MY time, and I run as fast and as hard as I can until I simply can't go any further, and then I walk home.

I think the combination of regular physical release, and my comfort items... the things I KNOW make me feel better, just simply works for me.

[mr1980]

I wear my emotions on my sleeve. I usually need to get at least one fix of ice hockey in a week to let the more negative ones smash themselves out. Sportsmanlike of course.

[icylady125]

I look around and see many people in my same situation and say well u r not alone!

[simplyamazing40]

over the years i have had many ways to deal with emotions good and bad.. IN the past it was food eat as much as i can possibly put in my belly then puke, but I now have learned not to do that, now I go workout, eat right and walk. I have never felt so good in my life now at 40. I never felt this good when I was 20 and I was a few pounds lighter back then.

I tend to get depressed but try to fight that off and keep busy.

[Sneaky]

Depends. But at some point I usually spaz a little bit.

[november]

It's usually written on my face. Can't help it. Sometimes I react well, sometimes I get very bitchy.
Working on hiding it.

[Sinster]

Take a deep breath, hold and asses..... then make the most of the situation

[disturbiagirl]

I don't hide my emotions...if I'm pissed, you know....if I'm happy, you know....if I like you, you know....if I don't, you will know that too...LOL

[Sneaky]

Take a deep breath, hold and asses..... then make the most of the situation

OK, I'm the WORST speller here...but I think you mean ACCESS. :sc
I could be wrong. LOL.

[Sinster]

I don't hide my emotions...if I'm pissed, you know....if I'm happy, you know....if I like you, you know....if I don't, you will know that too...LOL
LOL.... you can't tell with me, not till later anyway

[disturbiagirl]

LOL.... you can't tell with me, not till later anyway

Ohhh...I HATE that...LOL...I think everyone should be an open book...LOL

[Sinster]

I watch and learn, before I act.... Kind of cold I know, but it has always worked for me

[CrazyMountainLady]

i can't hide my emotions. If i'm mad.. I am a total BITCH and I scream and yell (good thing I live in the boonies)
If I'm happy it shows.
I just try not to let other people see me cry.. never have.

[Tempest]

I usually go off the deep end mentally, talk it out with a friend, then calm down and completely change my mind about what I was going to do. Then I go crazy again the next day.. but I've been taking my meds, and I'm getting better, promise...

[disturbiagirl]

I watch and learn, before I act.... Kind of cold I know, but it has always worked for me

Gotta do what works for ya....there are times I wish I was more like that to be honest

[neil48]

A nice drink helps my emotions

[tadpole]

I am kinda quiet and hold things in. If i am mad, I get really quiet until you have pushed me too far. I will cry when I'm pissed.....when I'm hurt...and when I'm happy. If you have pissed me off because you have hurt anyone in my family or any of my friends, you will know it.

[scoobertina]

when I was married I held things in... until I couldn't anymore.... then I would blow... I used to go for walks and clear my head... for the small things...

now I vent online... I have a private blog that I use.. not open to public.. and I let loose in there...

and I say what I think now too... whether it is good or bad.. I don't hold things in anymore... I think that is bad...

[redcat]

Normally, if I'm hurt..I keep it to myself as much as possible. If you make me mad, I'll go very, very quiet. I don't explode and yell...quite the opposite. Not healthy to do this, and I'm trying to rationally vocalize these emotions when they occur now.

[ksue7274]

I used to be quiet so I wouldn't upset anybody, now I let them know how I feel and what I really think. I was only hurting myself to hold things in and I know they wouldn't spare my feelings if I upset them. Sometimes it hurts to see yourself from another persons perspective but I think in the end you learn something from it. If you don't, then you really never grow and become a better person.

[leggy4]

If I feel emotional a good run is a nice remedy... then again a nice piece of ultimate cake is gooddddddd too...:)

[plankmaker]

Ice cream, Pixie Sticks, and Kool Aid always do it for me.

[Dragon_lady]

I think that part of my problem is that I just don't manage them at all.

[FeIsTy FaV]

I put them a box.

[daisyduck]

i hold things in for awhile then i let all come out some times all at once. I am crazy duck like that. or i just drink helps too.

[jmsmith12345]

Usually, I wait until the bags are full and the clean up hitter is at the plate to bring in my relief emotions. So far he is 38 for 39 in save opportunities this season.

[leggy4]

well I do some blocking out, then it's the trickle down effect.... a little at time comes out to slap me in the face

[Curiousoneonly]

Well, let's see. This week is not going to be a good week. Needless to say I am not handling things very well. :(

[daisyduck]

Well, let's see. This week is not going to be a good week. Needless to say I am not handling things very well. :(

:hug:

[ByteMe(f)]

Meditation and if that fails, cheesecake.

[scoobertina]

I used to hold everything in until I couldn't do it anymore...

I still do it but I find I can be more open when I am online so i type it out... and now that I am alone i find it hard to do anything but cry and sleep when I am emotional

[Ricki Raxxx]

I bite my tongue and walk away until things calm down ... I tell it like it is always and sometimes my mouth can make things worse if I don't walk away

[glamourgirl]

usually 10 miles on my rollerblades....till i get it worked out in my head...then i can deal with what needs to be done.

[so_very_fine]

I usually say exactly what I think when I think it! That has great rewards, but also gets me into serious trouble sometimes!! But when I am hurt or afraid, you will never know . . .

[AlwaysLearning]

Usually, it is best to remove yourself from the situation at hand......you need that to be objective (I believe)........then analyze and figure it out

[Jaded]

Well it depends on what thing it is that happened. If something sad happens I tend to cry, Im such a softie. But if someone makes me angry I stand up to them but Im not a yeller, so I do my best to reason with the person. Or sometimes I just walk away till things calm down.