New inventions - invest now

[tiger50]

gday guys, need ur help

i have this reelie cool invention, but am short on funds, need some investers...
i have invented tha microwave bed... yep
this is gunna b tha biggest thing in history, and will generate more munnie than microsoft.
with this thing u can get 8 hours sleep in 4 minutes.... imagine that, u can werk longer, or stay on ere longer...lol
its a thing of great beauty,
imagine a fully logarithmic casing, mounted on regurgitative nubing trunnions and spurving mandrels, and even has a semi-sinusoidal boloid arm to hold a book for ya or it can be used ta hold a beer....
am currently filling it wif dramcock oil so if the hydrocoptic marzelvanes fall off the wennelsprockets , it wont cause the phase detractor to remiss..
zif was a great help in his lab, but the test subjects at the time were somewhat uncoperative..
The first test subject woke up with a very long grey beard, the next was a bit red an bubbly , but have retuned the phase detractor to compensate
come on guys... invest
oh yeh an we need lotsa test subjects too...

[Cotties]

What amount of drugs have you taken this morning to think I'm going to share my hard earned Baht on an invention I could barely fathom... Maybe you need to call it the Pre IPO[inital public offering]. If you give me 15% of the opening occount that I could produce I'll think about it. What we need is a list of people who have lost money in offshore accounts and still don't care because it impressed their friends.

[italian_princess0420]

aint gettin nothin outa meee...sandy and i were sooooooo confused last night on what u and zif were talkin, made me feel like i lost my brain:whee:

[tiger50]

hey yeh nevva thoughta that....and there are a few other ventures i'm werkin on.... :D

[tiger50]

aint gettin nothin outa meee...sandy and i were sooooooo confused last night on what u and zif were talkin, made me feel like i lost my brain:whee:

awww sorry princess, but we were experimentin in the lab... and heyyyyy u bluddie hypnotized me.... :lmao

[Wet Beaver]

gday guys, need ur help

i have this reelie cool invention, but am short on funds, need some investers...
i have invented tha microwave bed... yep
this is gunna b tha biggest thing in history, and will generate more munnie than microsoft.
with this thing u can get 8 hours sleep in 4 minutes.... imagine that, u can werk longer, or stay on ere longer...lol
its a thing of great beauty,
imagine a fully logarithmic casing, mounted on regurgitative nubing trunnions and spurving mandrels, and even has a semi-sinusoidal boloid arm to hold a book for ya or it can be used ta hold a beer....
am currently filling it wif dramcock oil so if the hydrocoptic marzelvanes fall off the wennelsprockets , it wont cause the phase detractor to remiss..
zif was a great help in his lab, but the test subjects at the time were somewhat uncoperative..
The fist test subject woke up with a very long grey beard, the next was a bit red an bubbly , but have retuned the phase detractor to compensate
come on guys... invest
oh yeh an we need lotsa test subject too...



sounds like you have found your calling...but one question...is it a/c or d/c??

[tiger50]

sounds like you have found your calling...but one question...is it a/c or d/c??

am werkin on that, been thinkin of powering it wif a turbo encabulator...:D

[Wet Beaver]

am werkin on that, been thinkin of powering it wif a turbo encabulator...:D

you have to make sure that the roos in the outback can use it also......so you might have to make it bicycle powered....

[tiger50]

you have to make sure that the roos in the outback can use it also......so you might have to make it bicycle powered....

hey yeh, u can peddle.....:lmao :lmao :lmao

[Zifnab]

gday guys, need ur help

i have this reelie cool invention, but am short on funds, need some investers...
i have invented tha microwave bed... yep
this is gunna b tha biggest thing in history, and will generate more munnie than microsoft.
with this thing u can get 8 hours sleep in 4 minutes.... imagine that, u can werk longer, or stay on ere longer...lol
its a thing of great beauty,
imagine a fully logarithmic casing, mounted on regurgitative nubing trunnions and spurving mandrels, and even has a semi-sinusoidal boloid arm to hold a book for ya or it can be used ta hold a beer....
am currently filling it wif dramcock oil so if the hydrocoptic marzelvanes fall off the wennelsprockets , it wont cause the phase detractor to remiss..
zif was a great help in his lab, but the test subjects at the time were somewhat uncoperative..
The fist test subject woke up with a very long grey beard, the next was a bit red an bubbly , but have retuned the phase detractor to compensate
come on guys... invest
oh yeh an we need lotsa test subject too...Good thing you didn't mention the troubles with aligning the whiz gear on the sprunggidget. The panic that could cause until they heard the farzlewhompis was resynched could sink the whole project.

[Wet Beaver]

hey yeh, u can peddle.....:lmao :lmao :lmao


or you could get roo poo to power it......










you just got a smaller cage.....:na

[Zifnab]

aint gettin nothin outa meee...sandy and i were sooooooo confused last night on what u and zif were talkin, made me feel like i lost my brain:whee:damn that was a different expirement! how did things get crossed up there tiger? I bet we crossed the red and blue wires again!

[tiger50]

damn that was a different expirement! how did things get crossed up there tiger? I bet we crossed the red and blue wires again!


hey yeh shitttt u rite, that may be why i burnt tha cat, and next doors budgie...:sc

[Zifnab]

or you could get roo poo to power it......
you just got a smaller cage.....:na solar power! of course! we could adjust the angle on the subgolusteous reflectors to pinpoint the sun light onto the enerstabilis control.....

[tiger50]

solar power! of course! we could adjust the angle on the subgolusteous reflectors to pinpoint the sun light onto the enerstabilis control.....

now there is true genious... :lmao

[Zifnab]

now there is true genious... :lmao
I feel ispired by your greatness!:lmao

[Wet Beaver]

solar power! of course! we could adjust the angle on the subgolusteous reflectors to pinpoint the sun light onto the enerstabilis control.....

but if ya do that...the willy wag...might explode...and then you will have a sticky mess all over your stomach.....not to mention what is left of the poor roo....

[tiger50]

but if ya do that...the willy wag...might explode...and then you will have a sticky mess all over your stomach.....not to mention what is left of the poor roo....

eh zif, she has a point there...... :D

[Zifnab]

but if ya do that...the willy wag...might explode...and then you will have a sticky mess all over your stomach.....not to mention what is left of the poor roo....no because we modified the stimulatron output which has removed practically ALL wag from the entire willy unit!

[Wet Beaver]

no because we modified the stimulatron output which has removed practically ALL wag from the entire willy unit!


so you are saying...it just lays there peeing all the time.....

[tiger50]

no because we modified the stimulatron output which has removed practically ALL wag from the entire willy unit!

:lmao :lmao :lmao wanker.....

[Jy]

You guys are hilarious!! Keep it going pleeeeaasee! I'm lovin' it!

[tiger50]

You guys are hilarious!! Keep it going pleeeeaasee! I'm lovin' it!

pin farm iz next jazzy.....lol :D

[Norfolkdave]

sounds like you have found your calling...but one question...is it a/c or d/c??

The white coats have come for him, and as they led him away he shouted " A/C A/C A/C":lmao

[Norfolkdave]

pin farm iz next jazzy.....lol :D

You sod off I love things firm, dont want no pricks sodding things up!:lmao

[Norfolkdave]

now there is true genious... :lmao

No No hes lined then up wrong, great cracks will appear in the gobbletractors and then christ, glusters will explode sending strealks the wrong way up your arseclusters:lmao

[tiger50]

The white coats have come for him, and as they led him away he shouted " A/C A/C A/C":lmao

shittttt, thought i said roo poo roo poo roo poo roo poo roo poo roo poo roo poo roo poo roo poo roo poo roo poo roo poo roo poo roo poo roo poo roo poo roo poo roo poo roo poo roo poo roo poo roo poo roo poo roo poo roo poo roo poo roo poo roo poo roo poo roo poo roo poo roo poo roo poo roo poo roo poo roo poo roo poo roo poo roo poo roo poo roo poo roo poo roo poo roo poo roo poo:lmao

[Norfolkdave]

Heh Heh Heh La La La La La said Roo Roo Roo Would get his Roo Loo caught in the white crap brigade.......rest assurred we will visit you.

[tiger50]

Heh Heh Heh La La La La La said Roo Roo Roo Would get his Roo Loo caught in the white crap brigade.......rest assurred we will visit you.

bugger, noooo am standin guard..... :nu

[Norfolkdave]

bugger, noooo am standin guard..... :nu

The white coat brigade will heckle you into showing them your invention, then snap the shackles on the roo and orf you go singing nothing to declare nothing to declare :D

[tiger50]

The white coat brigade will heckle you into showing them your invention, then snap the shackles on the
roo and orf you go singing nothing to declare nothing to declare :D

no way mate they afta get past me, zif, jazz, wb, u an cotties, not reel confidant bout cotties..... :lmao

[Norfolkdave]

Oh Cotties hes ok He,ll help Im sure, just ask him Oh Cottoes yahoo Cotties! Tiger wants a hand Yahoo!

[tiger50]

Oh Cotties hes ok He,ll help Im sure, just ask him Oh Cottoes yahoo Cotties! Tiger wants a hand Yahoo!

think cotties az imself in hand..... :lmao :lmao :lmao

[Norfolkdave]

" Must have Big, big hands, Guiness would love to see his hands.

[tiger50]

" Must have Big, big hands, Guiness would love to see his hands.

lol bet they're fukkin huge, lol but tha dick iz small:lmao :lmao .....

[Norfolkdave]

"Oh Man" he carries a magnifying glass around with him, and a pair of binoculars:whee: :D

[tiger50]

"Oh Man" he carries a magnifying glass around with him, and a pair of binoculars:whee: :D

and pepper ta make it coff up.....:lmao

[Norfolkdave]

and pepper ta make it coff up.....:lmao

A whole new meaning for " salt and Shake" Huff and Puff":lmao

[tiger50]

No No hes lined then up wrong, great cracks will appear in the gobbletractors and then christ, glusters will explode sending strealks the wrong way up your arseclusters:lmao

geez mate that sounds like avvin a stump shoved up tha arse.... may ave ta sack the wanker from the design team..... :sc

[Norfolkdave]

No dont sack him, just get him to realign the reflectors and allow for the suns rays to penetrated the glass, bounch the light at 32% angles thenn the arseclusters will stay firm, shut and tight, only to be used when the operator prises them open with his malicterpeniloader gun.

[tiger50]

No dont sack him, just get him to realign the reflectors and allow for the suns rays to penetrated the glass, bounch the light at 32% angles thenn the arseclusters will stay firm, shut and tight, only to be used when the operator prises them open with his malicterpeniloader gun.

mmm dunno mate cud nevva get that gun ta fire straight.... :sc

[tiger50]

hey zif, not about much fa the next 2 days, i expect u ta be diligent an continue the development, wb has volunteered as a teat subject....:D

[Wet Beaver]

hey zif, not about much fa the next 2 days, i expect u ta be diligent an continue the development, wb has volunteered as a teat subject....:D




you are asking for it.....:nu

[tiger50]

you are asking for it.....:nu

...lol gotcha, yesssss:lmao :lmao :lmao

[Norfolkdave]

How you going to hold WB Tiger! should be interesting

[tiger50]

How you going to hold WB Tiger! should be interesting
willl talk ta zp, think e az a beaver trap.... :D

[Norfolkdave]

Yes ZP will have the answer and what if you ask ZP to lure WB in the way he knows best then Im sure she,ll come straight away

[tiger50]

Yes ZP will have the answer and what if you ask ZP to lure WB in the way he knows best then Im sure she,ll come straight away

ope so mate, lest i b in deep beaver doo doo...:lmao

[Sandy]

your in deeper than you know. :D









you said the z word.

[tiger50]

gday all , i have anuvver inventin which needs funding.... this one is tha tiger patent mousetrap...
am sure it will be a huge munnie spinner...

imagine this.... a piece of board, bout 2 inches by 6 inches.... a razor blade mounted across the centre, and a piece of sheesa on one end, tha mousa smells tha cheesa and sticks iz ead over the razor blade, goes ta grab the cheeza , an cuts iz fukkin ead orf.....
This was good in beta testin , however it had a flaw, the mousa cud come around the uvver side, nab the cheesa an get away scot free.... sooo
The mk2 tiger trap was born... imagine this..... same piece of wood, a piece of hacksaw blade mounted across the middle.. no cheesa....
The mousa then comes up, sticks iz ead over tha hacksaw blade, looks rapidly left ta right and bak, thinkin "wheres tha fukkin cheesa ", an saws iz fukkin ead orf....

guys this is a winner... invest now.... :D

[Sandy]

ummmmmmmm, no thanks, a little mouse is cute.

[tiger50]

ummmmmmmm, no thanks, a little mouse is cute.

kk gunna unleash all the mousas on ur housa..... :D

[Sandy]

ok my cat will like that. can you stop chasing them long enough to ?:na

[tiger50]

ok my cat will like that. can you stop chasing them long enough to ?:na
mm tha pussy trap iz next, am werkin on it.... :sc

[Sandy]

remember your the pussy, don't hurt yourself.:na

[tiger50]

remember your the pussy, don't hurt yourself.:na

hey.... :nu :nu :nu u are a member of tha twats, we will fight them on tha beaches, we will never lie down.... :D

[Zifnab]

hey.... :nu :nu :nu u are a member of tha twats, we will fight them on tha beaches, we will never lie down.... :DDon't let her get to you, remember SHE still thinks the man should open his own beer!

[tiger50]

Don't let her get to you, remember SHE still thinks the man should open his own beer!

fark, how misguided is that. sheez... :lmao

[pastryman]

Tiger would love to invest let me know where to send the money

[tiger50]

Tiger would love to invest let me know where to send the money

mate so good ta c there are sum sensible peeple ere, email me at fukkkinozwanker@bullshit.com .au . fa a full prostpectiz.... :D

[pastryman]

LOL you are to funny have to give you some more rep points

[tiger50]

LOL you are to funny have to give you some more rep points

noooooooo aw fark........ ur playin inta wb's cage.... aww fark.....

kk cop this ya wanker.... :knuddel: lol

[tiger50]

hey zif, ave run a fast fourier transform, across the reponses from the the regurgitave nubing trunnions, and have now modifired tha coherence factors. i feel that this will greatly improve tha response times of phase detractor enabling more logarithms into tha logarithmic casing....
by the way, ave found that tha phase detractor iz fukkin good fa shootin aliens..... :D

[Zifnab]

hey zif, ave run a fast fourier transform, across the reponses from the the regurgitave nubing trunnions, and have now modifired tha coherence factors. i feel that this will greatly improve tha response times of phase detractor enabling more logarithms into tha logarithmic casing....
by the way, ave found that tha phase detractor iz fukkin good fa shootin aliens..... :Ddid you remember to factor in the edginatzrium quotient in the calculations?

[tiger50]

did you remember to factor in the edginatzrium quotient in the calculations?

aww fukkkk , ang on will do mate, need wb fa testin..... :D

[Zifnab]

aww fukkkk , ang on will do mate, need wb fa testin..... :Dyou forgot to and you want to test?!?!? with the improper results that could create a whole new dimension!!! testing with WB would make her like the God in there!!!!! NO!!! Recalculate first PLEASE?!?!?!

[tiger50]

you forgot to and you want to test?!?!? with the improper results that could create a whole new dimension!!! testing with WB would make her like the God in there!!!!! NO!!! Recalculate first PLEASE?!?!?!

kkk shit dont get ya joks twisted, am re running tha experiment now..... gunna use cuddles this time, c how she reacts to bein modified by coherence..... :D

[Zifnab]

kkk shit dont get ya joks twisted, am re running tha experiment now..... gunna use cuddles this time, c how she reacts to bein modified by coherence..... :DI am just thinking safety first! Think about it! Can you imagine having to explain to ZP why WB is now a goddess in another dimension? Think about what torments she could inflict on him then! If not for our own sake man, do it for HIM!

[tiger50]

I am just thinking safety first! Think about it! Can you imagine having to explain to ZP why WB is now a goddess in another dimension? Think about what torments she could inflict on him then! If not for our own sake man, do it for HIM!

bugger, yeh u avva poin there.... but we may avta sacrifice im in the name if science.... :D

[Zifnab]

bugger, yeh u avva poin there.... but we may avta sacrifice im in the name if science.... :DNOt too worry mate! I recalculated, and just change the 6.89231674 to a 12 and we will be safe!

[tiger50]

NOt too worry mate! I recalculated, and just change the 6.89231674 to a 12 and we will be safe!
hey yeh that'll werk, :D

[Zifnab]

Ok, now where did cuddles run off too???

[tiger50]

Ok, now where did cuddles run off too???

puss puss puss, ere puss, ave sardines for ya..... :D

[Zifnab]

puss puss puss, ere puss, ave sardines for ya..... :Dsardines? hmmm I think I will get out the catnip, that may help...

[Norfolkdave]

Bed Type: Microwave: King Non Smoking Long Description: One king bed. Non-smoking. Cable TV with premium channels. Coffeemaker namely (WB or Mywifemark). Clock radio. Free local calls. Iron and ironing board. Refrigerator and microwave. :lmao

[G...G]

sounds like a great invention!! LOL

[Norfolkdave]

sounds like a great invention!! LOL

Oh it is, Tiger made it, zif and I are helping out with the getting it right bits and of course we need demonstrators, but you have to apply to the inventor. Its full of mod cons and brings smiles to ones faces heh heh heh:lmao

[Norfolkdave]

hey.... :nu :nu :nu u are a member of tha twats, we will fight them on tha beaches, we will never lie down.... :D

What General Tiger called the Battle of Glands is over. I expect that the Battle of TWATS is about to begin. Upon this battle depends the survival of Christian civilization. Upon it depends our own life, and the long continuity of our institutions and our Gender. The whole fury and might of the Twats will very soon be turned on us. The TWATs know that theywill have to break us in this war. If we can stand up o them , all Europe may be free But if we fail, then the whole world, including the United States, including all that we have known and cared for, will sink into the abyss of a new Dark Age Let us therefore brace ourselves to our duties, and so bear ourselves that, if the Empire of the PPPs and non deputys and its Commonwealth last for a thousand years, men will still say, "This was their finest hour.":lmao

[Sandy]

shoot all we have to do is flash you guys. and you'll be going what war ?:D :na

[Zifnab]

shoot all we have to do is flash you guys. and you'll be going what war ?:D :nabecarefull cause the answer you get from tiger to such a line may curl your hair in bad places and worse ways!

[Sandy]

lol i can handle it. :D :na

[kissiemybuttie]

hey.... :nu :nu :nu u are a member of tha twats, we will fight them on tha beaches, we will never lie down.... :D



hey who you think your talking too??? That there is my buddie Sandy and I am in her corner!!!!!!!! gotta go through me to get to her.....and there is ALOT OF ME!!!!!!!

[Sandy]

awe kissie, i love you to. :kk

[kissiemybuttie]

awe kissie, i love you to. :kk





i know!!!!!!!

[tiger50]

Hey zif.. have realigned the phase detracter using kryptonastic bolling shims. i feel this will damp the quarking waveforms, and stop the bubbling of the test subjects.... :D

[Zifnab]

Hey zif.. have realigned the phase detracter using kryptonastic bolling shims. i feel this will damp the quarking waveforms, and stop the bubbling of the test subjects.... :Dthat would certainly help...may also want to stop wrapping them in aluminum foil.... just a thought!

[tiger50]

that would certainly help...may also want to stop wrapping them in aluminum foil.... just a thought!

yeh good point.... think we should also add anuvver semi-sinusoidal boloid arm ta hold the viagra fa spare... :D

[Zifnab]

yeh good point.... think we should also add anuvver semi-sinusoidal boloid arm ta hold the viagra fa spare... :Dbut on which side?? you have to be careful or you could override the balance!

[Wet Beaver]

hey when do you guys start paying off......

[tiger50]

but on which side?? you have to be careful or you could override the balance!

nah it'll be right, can balance that out wif anuvver nubing trunnion...
BTW i have anuvver product i'd like ur opinion on.... :D

[Zifnab]

nah it'll be right, can balance that out wif anuvver nubing trunnion...
BTW i have anuvver product i'd like ur opinion on.... :Ddare I ask???

[tiger50]

dare I ask???

i have developed a formula fa powdered water. think this cud be a big seller in tha middle east...

[spare_change]

yeh good point.... think we should also add anuvver semi-sinusoidal boloid arm ta hold the viagra fa spare... :D

Excellent- but the viagra ain't what you think it's for. Careful application of the viagra, in liquid form, stabilizes the electromagnetic emission field surrounding the quasi-activator, which allows me slice the field with a diagonal cut, thus providing an opening into which to slide the retrofitted cumbulator, which as we know, when carefully moved inside the stabilized quasi-activator electromagnetic emission opening creates an EMP roughly equal to the static generated when Oprah drags her ass across the couch. This massive build up of energy is then harnessed by dropping the generator external temperature to near the bottom of the Kelvin scale, carefully removing the stabilized electromagnetic field, cutting it into round pieces, and installing it into vibrators across the nation. These vibrators, when they come into contact with warm, wet flesh, cause the frozen energy field to thaw. This thaw, in turn, because of the reciprocating nature of an electromagnetic field when something is passed thru it, causes a defined, and very strong, back and forth, in and out motion of the overall device. So, it can be safely postulated that by giving me viagra, you have enabled me to satisfy every woman nationwide.

[spare_change]

Oh, and by the way, tiger -- I was doing fast fourier transforms when you were still using tinker toys --- LOL

[Zifnab]

i have developed a formula fa powdered water. think this cud be a big seller in tha middle east...was already tried mate, seemed like a good idea, but would never float. the investors ship never came in, the idea ran aground before it left port.....

[Zifnab]

I still think we should be working on the thought powered translocating device!

[tiger50]

Excellent- but the viagra ain't what you think it's for. Careful application of the viagra, in liquid form, stabilizes the electromagnetic emission field surrounding the quasi-activator, which allows me slice the field with a diagonal cut, thus providing an opening into which to slide the retrofitted cumbulator, which as we know, when carefully moved inside the stabilized quasi-activator electromagnetic emission opening creates an EMP roughly equal to the static generated when Oprah drags her ass across the couch. This massive build up of energy is then harnessed by dropping the generator external temperature to near the bottom of the Kelvin scale, carefully removing the stabilized electromagnetic field, cutting it into round pieces, and installing it into vibrators across the nation. These vibrators, when they come into contact with warm, wet flesh, cause the frozen energy field to thaw. This thaw, in turn, because of the reciprocating nature of an electromagnetic field when something is passed thru it, causes a defined, and very strong, back and forth, in and out motion of the overall device. So, it can be safely postulated that by giving me viagra, you have enabled me to satisfy every woman nationwide.

WTF, tha battery has already been invented mate..... :D but i do like ur theory.... :D

[tiger50]

Oh, and by the way, tiger -- I was doing fast fourier transforms when you were still using tinker toys --- LOL

lol the good old days of vibration analysis.... cool..

[tiger50]

I still think we should be working on the thought powered translocating device!

heyyyyy yeh then we cud translocate wb... to ummmm betelguese??

[Zifnab]

heyyyyy yeh then we cud translocate wb... to ummmm betelguese??they are more advanced than us and would just send her right back.

[tiger50]

they are more advanced than us and would just send her right back.

bugger, wonder if they avva beam me up scotty machine, now if we cud steal tha plans fa that...wowwww :D

[Zifnab]

bugger, wonder if they avva beam me up scotty machine, now if we cud steal tha plans fa that...wowwww :DI just want an easy button.....

[tiger50]

I just want an easy button.....

hey yeh lets invent that.... :D

[Zifnab]

hey yeh lets invent that.... :Dthey have them in comercial here, so I am planning to get into one of their ads, and just walk off with the button when I'm done! put it in the lab and make this inventing crap a lot easier!

[Cotties]

Whats going on boys? You guys asked Spare to throw his spanner in the works and now you want me to raise some more cash. am I far off?


as for the large hands and small penis jokes I'm left thinking I want 20% of the opening account and 10% when I can make the investors re-load.

I go away for a few days the price goes to shit....

Oh Cotties hes ok He,ll help Im sure, just ask him Oh Cottoes yahoo Cotties! Tiger wants a hand Yahoo!

[Norfolkdave]

Whats going on boys? You guys asked Spare to throw his spanner in the works and now you want me to raise some more cash. am I far off?


as for the large hands and small penis jokes I'm left thinking I want 20% of the opening account and 10% when I can make the investors re-load.

I go away for a few days the price goes to shit....

Well man throw us some cash then about $100 dollars should suffice to give you a label, oh yes to label shit you need money:lmao

[tiger50]

Well man throw us some cash then about $100 dollars should suffice to give you a label, oh yes to label shit you need money:lmao

lol cotties az iz hand on iz dick..... :lmao

[Zifnab]

lol cotties az iz hand on iz dick..... :lmaodidn't you invent THAT too???

[tiger50]

hey zif, ave refocussed the phase detractor by sendin the lite through a lead zirconate titanate crystal... and turnin the light inta anti-light.. awww fark, its gorn dark... :whee:

[Zifnab]

hey zif, ave refocussed the phase detractor by sendin the lite through a lead zirconate titanate crystal... and turnin the light inta anti-light.. awww fark, its gorn dark... :whee:you used too much again!!!! reduce the luminocity factor to the transdegrastwanflunder, then revamp the oscilfractulator..... that should reduce the reduction to a postive negative influence!

[tiger50]

you used too much again!!!! reduce the luminocity factor to the transdegrastwanflunder, then revamp the oscilfractulator..... that should reduce the reduction to a postive negative influence!

yeh yeh i will but shit cant do it in tha dark... get a torch...:D

[Zifnab]

yeh yeh i will but shit cant do it in tha dark... get a torch...:Dhang on, let me turn the breaker off........ there you go!:55

[tiger50]

hang on, let me turn the breaker off........ there you go!:55

aww fark hit me ead on a nubing trunnion... GET THA TORCH WANKER :nu

[Zifnab]

aww fark hit me ead on a nubing trunnion... GET THA TORCH WANKER :nuummm wanker??? what are you wearing the cutting goggles for???? the lights are on.... take the goggles off!

[tiger50]

ummm wanker??? what are you wearing the cutting goggles for???? the lights are on.... take the goggles off!

aww shit.. yeh sorri..:drink: :confused: :o

[Norfolkdave]

Heh heh heh the blind leading the bloody blind

[tiger50]

Heh heh heh the blind leading the bloody blind

just gimme the farkin torch... :D

[Norfolkdave]

I did but the batteries run out, the girls are using em as fast as we produce em

[tiger50]

I did but the batteries run out, the girls are using em as fast as we produce em

WTF cmon girlz, give ovva. empty ya toys.. we need em.... :D :whee:

[Sandy]

me empty out me toys ? you have lost your mind. :D

[tiger50]

me empty out me toys ? you have lost your mind. :D
aww cmon , itz agood cauze... :whee:

[Sandy]

yes it is, for me pleasure. :di :D

[tiger50]

yes it is, for me pleasure. :di :D
WTF heyy we can do that wiffout batteries... :whee:

[Sandy]

good cause i promise , none of us will give up our toys or batteries. :di :D

[Norfolkdave]

me empty out me toys ? you have lost your mind. :D

Aww come on my sweet, you dont need all the batteries we need to light our torch:D

[Sandy]

wanna bet, i like my toys. :D :na

[Norfolkdave]

wanna bet, i like my toys. :D :na

Sandy love please just for 5 minutes lend us your batteries so we can light our torch to find the missing bit to run the invention Please:knuddel:

[Sunfiresix]

Give them The Batteries sweetie, I am way better than toys.........

[Sandy]

well since you made me such a sweet offer, here dav you can have the batteries, i'm going to find sun, :D













Give them The Batteries sweetie, I am way better than toys.........

[Norfolkdave]

well since you made me such a sweet offer, here dav you can have the batteries, i'm going to find sun, :D

Hey babe, thanks......................TIGER I have em Oh TIGER wakey wakey have the bloody batteries:lmao

[Zifnab]

Ok tiger ol buddy! we got us a challenge! Shiane wants a thingamawhojiki that'll type the words she cusses into a flash the bastards behind her in the eyes sign fer the back winda o' her suburbia! so I wuz thinkin we needs ta dezine summin good fer her! maybe we should open the lab and get this one dezined kwik afer she chainses her mind! :sc

:55think thiz one coold make us RICH!!

[Suzy_Q]

I had a good one 3 yrs ago and wished I had acted on it..I came up with the Idea of a Snowman Finishing Kit,then after awhile it sounded lame..but last year I got one of flers that compaines send you in the mail to but and that same idea was in it just with a different name....I was so mad at myself.. so I have been trying to think of something else.

[Suzy_Q]

I had a good one about 3 yrs ago that I now wish I had gone through with the idea..cuz last year I saw that idea in a christmas catalog...Oh I was mad..so I have to think of something else .

[Suzy_Q]

oops I thought the first one didn't go through cuz I lost my connection...so I posted it again but couldn't remember how I had put it...sorry for the goof up

[tiger50]

job advertisement



required.... foe immediate start...

a full on fukwit.. with a smattering of scientific knowledge, harf a brain, must be able to think inside tha triangle.
this is an important and presigious position.
as my former research assistant has retired.. a dipshit is required the further these projects , so important to tha betterment of mankind..

pay is shitloads..
cums with a 1968 clapped out volkswagon..

apply in writing to

tiger enterprises
69 stoozenfruit st
knakkerville..

[Sandy]

:lmao your a trip tiger.

[cherokeered]

job advertisement







required.... foe immediate start...

a full on fukwit.. with a smattering of scientific knowledge, harf a brain, must be able to think inside tha triangle.
this is an important and presigious position.
as my former research assistant has retired.. a dipshit is required the further these projects , so important to tha betterment of mankind..

pay is shitloads..
cums with a 1968 clapped out volkswagon..

apply in writing to

tiger enterprises
69 stoozenfruit st
knakkerville..


Tiger...where do you come up with these...and no, I'm not applying...lol

Cherokee...cat always makes me smile...:kk

[tiger50]

Tiger...where do you come up with these...and no, I'm not applying...lol

Cherokee...cat always makes me smile...:kk

mmm actually read the start of the thread check tha potential, ... the project needs financin too... :D

[snuggles]

:lmao you guys are a f--kin riot:lmao :lmao

[yaser]

:lmao you guys are a f--kin riot:lmao :lmaoI am a loving riot,Snuggles..

[tiger50]

:lmao you guys are a f--kin riot:lmao :lmao

heyyy ang in... this iz serious shit gal....:nu :lmao

[snuggles]

:whee: oh i can tell, just look at all the posts:whee:

[tiger50]

:whee: oh i can tell, just look at all the posts:whee:

i'm tellin ya gal, this iz serius scientiffic endevva.... :D

[Norfolkdave]

You forgot to add the need to urinate desk, they gotta sit down and pee, I told you its important, christ man the professor goe nuts if this aint included.

[tiger50]

You forgot to add the need to urinate desk, they gotta sit down and pee, I told you its important, christ man the professor goe nuts if this aint included.

ya wanker.. we cant be seen ta be biased... we'll just vet tha applicants accordingly.... :D

[Norfolkdave]

ya wanker.. we cant be seen ta be biased... we'll just vet tha applicants accordingly.... :D

LOL Im not, the women will have holes to pee down, and the blokes tubes, but they need to be seated over the other hole, its the farting mechanishing that powers the pee and the need to be seated so there ass cheeks are well and truly open is crucial to the test.:lmao

[tiger50]

News flash...

i have modified the microwave bed... and put one in cherokees spare room

ave re-arranged tha semi-sinusoidal boloid arm so it will hold a laptop, then cherokee dusnt afta go ta sleep in a bluddie chair.. :D

[cherokeered]

awww...thank you hun...so sweet of ya to think about me...:kk



News flash...

i have modified the microwave bed... and put one in cherokees spare room

ave re-arranged tha semi-sinusoidal boloid arm so it will hold a laptop, then cherokee dusnt afta go ta sleep in a bluddie chair.. :D

[tiger50]

awww...thank you hun...so sweet of ya to think about me...:kk

ur welcum baby... now we just need ta adjust tha phase detractor so we dont overcook ya.... :whee:

[cherokeered]

yeah...dont want charcoal cherokee...lol



ur welcum baby... now we just need ta adjust tha phase detractor so we dont overcook ya.... :whee:

[tiger50]

yeah...dont want charcoal cherokee...lol

noooo that wudnt do at all... but hot cherokee is fine... :knuddel:

[cherokeered]

Cherokee is always hot....cum here and feel the burn....:kk noooo that wudnt do at all... but hot cherokee is fine... :knuddel:

[tiger50]

Cherokee is always hot....cum here and feel the burn....:kk

ohhh damn... it feels like its on fire... :whee: :kk

[cherokeered]

just me burning for ya baby...:kk



ohhh damn... it feels like its on fire... :whee: :kk

[Norfolkdave]

You havent put the stabilisers on proberly, you should be able to bounce without burning, shit, plonkaplonkascrew control is loose too, give it a couple turns to the right while standing on the inindeeper pedal that should eliminate the burn.

[tiger50]

job advertisement







required.... foe immediate start...

a full on fukwit.. with a smattering of scientific knowledge, harf a brain, must be able to think inside tha triangle.
this is an important and presigious position.
as my former research assistant has retired.. a dipshit is required the further these projects , so important to tha betterment of mankind..

pay is shitloads..
cums with a 1968 clapped out volkswagon..

apply in writing to

tiger enterprises
69 stoozenfruit st
knakkerville..

umm heyy hoss , mate this is for u .. :D

[Cotties]

you better hope he's as cool as he wishes he is or momma gunna come and try and convince ya..umm heyy hoss , mate this is for u .. :Dcotties always scaring away the competition

[tiger50]

you better hope he's as cool as he wishes he is or momma gunna come and try and convince ya..cotties always scaring away the competition

mm so ya rekkon ya cud handle the jod.... we do need another lab assistant for experimentation..... :D

[Cotties]

I hear the boss is a dickhead but his womens not bad at all

[tiger50]

I hear the boss is a dickhead but his womens not bad at all

the boss iz a freakin genius....
mm the woman..
gorgeous
sexy
mysterious
submissive
redheaded
fiery
green eyes
does the payroll.......... wanna sign on??? :D

[Norfolkdave]

Hey guys, Hoss will Im sure take the job, he loves his milkshakes...LOl

[spare_change]

tiger enterprises
69 stoozenfruit st
knakkerville..

Dear Mr. Tiger:

I am sorry to report that we, here at the Patent Office, will not be able to approve your application for a patent on the microwave bed. Your design closely resembles a design currently on file.

This design, submitted by Mr. O. Din, of Norfolk, England, arrived at our offices two days prior to yours. The similarities in approach and application are striking, so much so that I am forced to inform you that we have launched an investigation against your firm for industrial espionage. Clearly, you had prior access to Mr. Din's design. The use of the semi-sinusoidal boloid arm, while very innovative, is an exact copy of Mr. Din's approach.

We are sorry that we were not able to approve your design, and wish you the best of luck dealing with the FBI.

I.P. Redink
US Patent Office
Washington, DC

"WHERE NO GOOD IDEA GOES UNPUNISHED"

[Sandy]

:lmao













tiger enterprises
69 stoozenfruit st
knakkerville..

Dear Mr. Tiger:

I am sorry to report that we, here at the Patent Office, will not be able to approve your application for a patent on the microwave bed. Your design closely resembles a design currently on file.

This design, submitted by Mr. O. Din, of Norfolk, England, arrived at our offices two days prior to yours. The similarities in approach and application are striking, so much so that I am forced to inform you that we have launched an investigation against your firm for industrial espionage. Clearly, you had prior access to Mr. Din's design. The use of the semi-sinusoidal boloid arm, while very innovative, is an exact copy of Mr. Din's approach.

We are sorry that we were not able to approve your design, and wish you the best of luck dealing with the FBI.

I.P. Redink
US Patent Office
Washington, DC

"WHERE NO GOOD IDEA GOES UNPUNISHED"

[tiger50]

tiger enterprises
69 stoozenfruit st
knakkerville..

Dear Mr. Tiger:

I am sorry to report that we, here at the Patent Office, will not be able to approve your application for a patent on the microwave bed. Your design closely resembles a design currently on file.

This design, submitted by Mr. O. Din, of Norfolk, England, arrived at our offices two days prior to yours. The similarities in approach and application are striking, so much so that I am forced to inform you that we have launched an investigation against your firm for industrial espionage. Clearly, you had prior access to Mr. Din's design. The use of the semi-sinusoidal boloid arm, while very innovative, is an exact copy of Mr. Din's approach.

We are sorry that we were not able to approve your design, and wish you the best of luck dealing with the FBI.

I.P. Redink
US Patent Office
Washington, DC

"WHERE NO GOOD IDEA GOES UNPUNISHED"



Now ang about here mr dipshit..
i stole that fukkin design honestly.. in good faith... :D

[tiger50]

cmon hoss... you need to apply for this job goin here.... :D

[Norfolkdave]

Hoss hmmm what! somehow I dont think so, it means he has to work!!!!!!

[tiger50]

ok.. think green may wanna apply for the job.... lol
umm mate best ya read the whole thread 1st... been lookin for a zif replacement.. u may be it.... :D

[Nyc_45]

Hey Tiger,


Sorry to hear about your asst. I may be over qualified being I'm a Yank and all But if dimwits with half a brain is what your looking for Daves YOUR man

Try sweeting the offer with some oars for that row boat he thinks is a ship and I think he'll come aboard on the project I'm sure:lmao :lmao :lmao :lmao

[tiger50]

was thinkin hoss.. but he turned out not ta ave a brain at all... :sc

[Nyc_45]

was thinkin hoss.. but he turned out not ta ave a brain at all... :sc

Momma does have her hands full doesn't she:lmao

[tiger50]

Momma does have her hands full doesn't she:lmao

lol umm good call... now wat do ya do wif a life support system for a limp dick,?????:sc :lmao

[Nyc_45]

lol umm good call... now wat do ya do wif a life support system for a limp dick,?????:sc :lmao
I would donated it to the old folks home and take the tax write-off :lmao :lmao

[Norfolkdave]

Hey Tiger,


Sorry to hear about your asst. I may be over qualified being I'm a Yank and all But if dimwits with half a brain is what your looking for Daves YOUR man

Try sweeting the offer with some oars for that row boat he thinks is a ship and I think he'll come aboard on the project I'm sure:lmao :lmao :lmao :lmao

OI asshole I,ll show how a dimwit Im supposed to be I,ll shove that oar right upp your ass and the NASAR pilots will think your a uFO:lmao :lmao

[Nyc_45]

[QUOTE=Norfolkdave]OI asshole I,ll show how a dimwit Im supposed to be I,ll shove that oar right upp your ass and the NASAR pilots will think your a uFO:lmao :lmao[/QUOTE
\:lmao :lmao :lmao

You kill me Dave:lmao :lmao :lmao so thats what you think NASCARS are made out of you break me up

[Norfolkdave]

[QUOTE=Norfolkdave]OI asshole I,ll show how a dimwit Im supposed to be I,ll shove that oar right upp your ass and the NASAR pilots will think your a uFO:lmao :lmao[/QUOTE
\:lmao :lmao :lmao

You kill me Dave:lmao :lmao :lmao so thats what you think NASCARS are made out of you break me up

Hey you forgot to eat your carrots ( to see in the dark) I dsaid NASAR not bloody NASCAR:lmao

[Zifnab]

I love how I retire and then he geets the promotion... his assistant ha! :nu:nuwas all my lab ya glory grabber!partnership was what you called it! wanker!:nu:nu:nu phukin dikhed

[Norfolkdave]

I love how I retire and then he geets the promotion... his assistant ha! :nu:nuwas all my lab ya glory grabber!partnership was what you called it! wanker!:nu:nu:nu phukin dikhed

whose a dickehead LOL, hurts when I walk too...LOL:D

[Nyc_45]

whose a dickehead LOL, hurts when I walk too...LOL:D
Dave I KNEW you were the perfect fit for that dimwit job...I told ya sooooo...:lmao :lmao :lmao

[Norfolkdave]

Bave I KNEW you were the perfect fit for that dimwit job...I told ya sooooo...:lmao :lmao :lmao

Bave whose bloody bave ! http://www.isisol.com.au/users/bertandthel/piccies/BQ75.jpg:lmao :lmao

[Nyc_45]

Bave whose bloody bave ! http://www.isisol.com.au/users/bertandthel/piccies/BQ75.jpg:lmao :lmao
Sorry mate my left hand stutters:D :sc

[Norfolkdave]

Sorry mate my left hand stutters:D :sc


So you have a slight discomfort thenhttp://www.isisol.com.au/users/bertandthel/piccies/BQ259.jpg:lmao :lmao

[Zifnab]

don't rush to get in line yet, but I have a new idea for an invention! just need to speak with my partner first! investors start saving your nickles and dimes!!! this is going to be BIGGER than the custard mining!!!:55

[MightymeatyMatey]

Invention, Are you a scientist then!

[tiger50]

Invention, Are you a scientist then!

shit yeh mate, me an zif invent all kindsa cool shit.... :D :lmao

[MightymeatyMatey]

shit yeh mate, me an zif invent all kindsa cool shit.... :D :lmao

ha ha ha sorry about having to go boss is floating about today I think hes in the Crows nest as hes quiet, ( its our top room very nice to it is) I got a lovely invention between my legs, I look at it and it lifts its head quite a bit and says " hello meaty" then spits.

[tiger50]

ha ha ha sorry about having to go boss is floating about today I think hes in the Crows nest as hes quiet, ( its our top room very nice to it is) I got a lovely invention between my legs, I look at it and it lifts its head quite a bit and says " hello meaty" then spits.

oh shitt more dramcock oil for tha turbo encabulator..... :lmao

[MightymeatyMatey]

oh shitt more dramcock oil for tha turbo encabulator..... :lmao

" what" whats that, I dont use oil, only my hand, thats turbo enough

[Zifnab]

oh shitt more dramcock oil for tha turbo encabulator..... :lmaoYou need to set up a demo for them what never seen it work before, Tiger!

and the new shipment of oil is due in on thursday...

but this new concept is almost ready for presentation...

just need to tweak a few asspects. have not determined if the fwedickular control panel or bypass the oxtinavrium flow by inserting a leiglium deskonvastulonical valve...

Tiger! where did you leave the dam spaxtution wrench?

[UltimateNaneki]

i work for a broker , i can send it for you!!

[tiger50]

Tiger! where did you leave the dam spaxtution wrench?

how tha fark am i sposed ta know, u used it last on the friggin nubing trunnions
hey mate, anyone here now dumb enuf to qualify as lab assisstants/test subjects??:D

[tiger50]

Tiger! where did you leave the dam spaxtution wrench?

how tha fark am i sposed ta know, u used it last on the friggin nubing trunnions
hey mate, anyone here now dumb enuf to qualify as lab assisstants/test subjects??:D

[p.J]

gday guys, need ur help

i have this reelie cool invention, but am short on funds, need some investers...
i have invented tha microwave bed... yep
this is gunna b tha biggest thing in history, and will generate more munnie than microsoft.
with this thing u can get 8 hours sleep in 4 minutes.... imagine that, u can werk longer, or stay on ere longer...lol
its a thing of great beauty,
imagine a fully logarithmic casing, mounted on regurgitative nubing trunnions and spurving mandrels, and even has a semi-sinusoidal boloid arm to hold a book for ya or it can be used ta hold a beer....
am currently filling it wif dramcock oil so if the hydrocoptic marzelvanes fall off the wennelsprockets , it wont cause the phase detractor to remiss..
zif was a great help in his lab, but the test subjects at the time were somewhat uncoperative..
The first test subject woke up with a very long grey beard, the next was a bit red an bubbly , but have retuned the phase detractor to compensate
come on guys... invest
oh yeh an we need lotsa test subjects too...

LOL!!!!!!!!!!! bloody marvellous this ... be burnt to a flipping crisp if you had a power surge though!!

[Zifnab]

LOL!!!!!!!!!!! bloody marvellous this ... be burnt to a flipping crisp if you had a power surge though!!no risk! we use surge protectors in every test! have even been working on an environmentaly friendly one that uses squirels running in a cage to power it!

is safe!!

except for that one time when the.... ITS SAFE!!

[MightymeatyMatey]

Squirrels! You have animals running your computers! Hello by the way, I dont think we have met! pleased to meet you, Im Mightymeatey.

[p.J]

mmmm! not convinced yet... its the turntable that worries me a little, won't we get a tad dizzy?

[Zifnab]

The squirels power the microwave bed...
the turntable is smooooooth.... no jerky motions, and ya won't be on it long enough to get woozy! it is gentler than a night on a cruise ship in high seas I can tell ya!

[MightymeatyMatey]

The squirels power the microwave bed...
the turntable is smooooooth.... no jerky motions, and ya won't be on it long enough to get woozy! it is gentler than a night on a cruise ship in high seas I can tell ya!

A cruise ship on our sea at the moment would give a rather sickly feeling to the passenger, perhaps you may be able to invest in something that could help our fishing fleet.

[Zifnab]

A cruise ship on our sea at the moment would give a rather sickly feeling to the passenger, perhaps you may be able to invest in something that could help our fishing fleet.its called get a bigger boat!:lmao

[tiger50]

posted twice

[MightymeatyMatey]

its called get a bigger boat!:lmao

We couldnt get that in our harbour

[Zifnab]

We couldnt get that in our harbourummm.... bigger harbor??

[p.J]

The squirels power the microwave bed...
the turntable is smooooooth.... no jerky motions, and ya won't be on it long enough to get woozy! it is gentler than a night on a cruise ship in high seas I can tell ya!

I happen to like Jerky movements! ehem, does it have to be Squirrels? they bite you know and have a liking for nuts! and... I might add, animals in this wonderful climate go into hibernation!! so nerrrrrrrrrrr what now!

[PlayfulMale69]

I happen to like Jerky movements! ehem, does it have to be Squirrels? they bite you know and have a liking for nuts! and... I might add, animals in this wonderful climate go into hibernation!! so nerrrrrrrrrrr what now!

Speaking of nuts, how do you know mine won't get roasted on this invention? Any insurance?? LOL

[tiger50]

ok.. the turbo encabulator thread has been closed off.. fark....sooooo
we'll use this one.... apply for a job here....

[angelis]

ok.. the turbo encabulator thread has been closed off.. fark....sooooo
we'll use this one.... apply for a job here....

are you going to explain what on earth a turbo encabulator is?!! don't know if i have the appropriate qualifications?!!

[tiger50]

jobs goin here too, apply now.... :D

[tiger50]

are you going to explain what on earth a turbo encabulator is?!! don't know if i have the appropriate qualifications?!!

so glad u asked about that... a radical design...

For a number of years work has been proceeding in order to
perfect the idea of a crudely concieved idea of a machine
that would not only supply ineverse reactive current for use in
a unilateral phase detractor, but would also be capable of of automatically
synchronising cardinal grammeters.

Such a machine is the Turbo - Encabulator. basically, the only new
principle involved is that instead of power being generated by the
relative motion of conductors and fluxes,it is produced by the modial
interaction magnetorelactance and capacitive directance.

Lets look at the history of its development.

The original machine had a base plate of prefabulated amulite
surmounted by a malleable logarithmic casing in such a way that
the two spurving bearings were in a direct line with the pentametric fan.
The latter consisted mainly of six hydrocoptic marzelvanes,
so fitted to the ambifacient lunar waneshaft that side fumbling was
effectively prevented.

All engineers will appreciate the the difficulty of nubing together
a regurgitative purwell and a superamitive wennelsprocket.
Indeed this proved to be a stumbling block to further development until
the recent years. Then it was found that the use of anhydrous nagling pins
sealed the sealed the super-heater kryptonastic bolling shim to the tankard.

The operating point is maintained as near as possible to the h.f. rem peak
by constantly fropmaging the bitumogenous spandrels.
This of course, is a great advance over the standard nivelsheave in that
no dramcock oil is required after the phase detractors have remissed.

Undoubtedly, the Turbo - Encabulator has now reached a very high level
of technical development. It has been used successfully, on an experimental basis for operating nofer trunnions. In addition, whenever a barescent skor motion is required, it may be employed in conjunction with a drawn reciprocating lotus-o-delta type semi-sinusoidal boloid arm to reduce sinusoidal depleneration.

There is a picture in the gallery..

[Zifnab]

and it also makes TONS of coleslaw

[sawflyman]

I am totally confused on this thread.

[tiger50]

jobs goin here too, apply now.... :D

uhh ethan, mate i think a job here in my lab wud just suit you.....feel free to apply....:55

[UltimateNaneki]

uhh ethan, mate i think a job here in my lab wud just suit you.....feel free to apply....:55

Pardon....you tiger50 want ethans to actually WORK...do you think he can? I have never seen him left a finger.:lmao

[tiger50]

Pardon....you tiger50 want ethans to actually WORK...do you think he can? I have never seen him left a finger.:lmao

bout time he did sumfin friggin useful....ya see he knows everything and shit i am tryin to invent powdered water.. and i need to know how to extract a radical hydroxyl ion from hydrogen hydroxide..:sc