A guide to women....

[Wet Beaver]

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine

will probably never be able to support you.
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Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows
them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
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How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
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Why do men fart more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to
build up the required pressure.
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is

yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
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What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.
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I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
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Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
--------------------------------! -------- ---------------------------
Women will never be equal to men until they can
walk down the street with a bald head and a beer
gut, and still think they are sexy.
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In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested. :na

[Sandy]

:lmao i love it wb.

[sweetgapeach]

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine

will probably never be able to support you.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows
them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men fart more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to
build up the required pressure.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is

yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
--------------------------------! -------- ---------------------------
Women will never be equal to men until they can
walk down the street with a bald head and a beer
gut, and still think they are sexy.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested. :na


Lmao !!! Your to funny !!

[tiger50]

rite , this is now open warfare... :nu :nu :nu :nu :nu

[Sandy]

ok i have the chairs, who's bringing the drinks ?

:lmao

[Wet Beaver]

rite , this is now open warfare... :nu :nu :nu :nu :nu

sorry i can't go to war aganist someone who is unarmed.....

[Sandy]

well if he can find his staff, he'll be armed ?

:na

[tiger50]

well if he can find his staff, he'll be armed ?

:na

rite got me staff, the roo, and a large cache of nuclear werds.... :D

[Wet Beaver]

you see you cyber with someone once...he gets ya knocked up and he runs..... but thru the internet...i got a pic of tiger...and i now know who to sue for child support.....


http://www.thepregnancytester.com/view_father.html

[tiger50]

you see you cyber with someone once...he gets ya knocked up and he runs..... but thru the internet...i got a pic of tiger...and i now know who to sue for child support.....


http://www.thepregnancytester.com/view_father.html

hey wat bloody pic????
AND..... its me who's knokked up

Congratulations, tiger50! You're "with child". Our remote testing system has detected that you're pregnant. The Miracle Of Life has begun! To see whether your baby is a boy or a girl, click the "View My Baby" button

and ive got distemper as well....



tiger50, you're going to be the proud parent of a baby boy, and just look- isn't he just so damn cute! even though he looks a little like a beaver. Based on our remote test results, your beautiful baby boy will weigh about 8 lbs, 12 oz and have blonde hair and gray eyes. Truly a Wonder To Behold! Would you like to know who the lucky father is? Our Genetic Validator module has processed that data and determined who the father must be. Click the "Who's The Daddy?" button to find out.

mmm the father is WB..... :nu :nu :nu

[Norfolkdave]

Do you ewant me with my weighing scales or my Camera Tiger

[tiger50]

Do you ewant me with my weighing scales or my Camera Tiger

hey yeh mate, need all tha proof i can get.... :D

[Norfolkdave]

hey yeh mate, need all tha proof i can get.... :D

No problem, let me adjust the lense, got to get seated just right, you know how to push when the time gets right....:D

[tiger50]

No problem, let me adjust the lense, got to get seated just right, you know how to push when the time gets right....:D

ohh yeh , an when push cums ta shove, we get tha vinegar stroke.... lol..:D

[Sandy]

hey whoever knocked you up, better get there share of the money your going to make tiger. :na

[tiger50]

hey whoever knocked you up, better get there share of the money your going to make tiger. :na

hey yeh shitt nevva thoughta that..... :D

[Zifnab]

ok i have the chairs, who's bringing the drinks ?

:lmaoYOU are or can't you read? and it had dam well better be opened too!

[tiger50]

YOU are or can't you read? and it had dam well better be opened too!

go get em zif... yesssssssssssssssss:55

[pastryman]

I am so sorry Tiger but this is hilliarious

[Sandy]

hey your the one with the bar, so you'd better damn well open them. :na









YOU are or can't you read? and it had dam well better be opened too!

[Zifnab]

you see you cyber with someone once...he gets ya knocked up and he runs..... but thru the internet...i got a pic of tiger...and i now know who to sue for child support.....


http://www.thepregnancytester.com/view_father.html

Very cute! So now I am really worried though.... I am expecting a baby girl and the father is Bill Clintion????? I don't even LIKE cigars!!

[Zifnab]

hey your the one with the bar, so you'd better damn well open them. :naTHats what we have WAITRESSES for....duh!!!

[tiger50]

Very cute! So now I am really worried though.... I am expecting a baby girl and the father is Bill Clintion????? I don't even LIKE cigars!!

awww mate, shittt oo knokked u up????? :nu

[Zifnab]

awww mate, shittt oo knokked u up????? :nuBill Clinton.....well it least it wasn't a Bush.....

[tiger50]

Bill Clinton.....well it least it wasn't a Bush.....

mm yeh well hilary when clinton won tha presidency.... she was at ome, waitin ta be celebrated upon.... she shaved er mutt, he gets ome, she flashes ,,, he says honny you've shaved ur mutt, she says .. read my lips, no more bush.....

[Cotties]

WOW! that was a great piece of writing.

[tiger50]

WOW! that was a great piece of writing.

lol which bit mate...:whee:

[Norfolkdave]

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.

ok WB, the bishop said he,ll open it when you bring it, he has 3 nuns waiting too.

[Annie]

Bill Clinton.....well it least it wasn't a Bush.....
Lucky you! I'm having a daughter with DICK CHENEY!




.... hmmm that might be ok if Andrew takes her hunting.






http://www.thepregnancytester.com/view_father.html

[Cotties]

The father of my baby is Michael Jackson....damn he must have got me drunk and dressed me up in my spiderman pajamas.......jeez all I remember is him saying he needed a cuddle

[MCat]

It's A Boy!



Mcat, you're going to be the proud parent of a baby boy, and just look-isn't he just so damn cute! Based on our remote test results, your beautiful baby boy will weigh about 8 lbs, 8 oz and have red hair and gray eyes. Truly a Wonder To Behold!



PeeWee Herman is the father....oh my god....:D



Whoah! Give us a moment to get used to the idea of you and Pee Wee Herman in bed, then schedule us for some electro-shock therapy to help erase the mental image.

[Lacey]

Lucky you! I'm having a daughter with DICK CHENEY!




.... hmmm that might be ok if Andrew takes her hunting.






http://www.thepregnancytester.com/view_father.html





Lacey,you're going to be the proud parent of a baby girl, and just look- isn't she just so damn cute! Based on our remote test results, your beautiful baby girl will weigh about 15 lbs, 6 oz and have brown hair and green eyes. Truly a Wonder To Behold!


Who's the Daddy?Bill O'Reilly
Girl, you got no class. Plus we hear that Bill is going to sue you for stealing his 'patriotic bodily fluids' as well as demanding 65% of the kid's future earnings


LOL

[WandaRing]

Congratulations, Annie! You're "with child". Our remote testing system has detected that you're pregnant. The Miracle Of Life has begun!

It's A Boy! Annie, you're going to be the proud parent of a baby boy, and just look- isn't he just so damn cute! Based on our remote test results, your beautiful baby boy will weigh about 6 lbs, 4 oz and have brown hair and blue eyes. Truly a Wonder To Behold!

Bill Clinton Like thousands of other women of breeding age, you did the Horizontal Bop with Bill. Looks like he really 'felt your pain', along with a few other things. :lmao :lmao :lmao

P.S.

So is this kid going to be an American or a Canadian?…I guess running for president is out…and believe me, it will be me giving the kid the big sex talk and not Bill.:lmao :na :lmao

[Torin]

Lol!!!!!!!!!

[p.a]

You guys are too funny :lmao

[1hotmommy]

That was hilarious

[WandaRing]

That was hilarious


:sc what are you having and with whom?