What Is Love Here At The Site?

[TIGUY]

I have heard this so many times and I'll toss this out there to let everyone comment as they please.

A man works the site and flirts sexually or non-sexually with all the women he can. A connection is made, and two members feel the excitement of flirting or perhaps one or both members have their dormant sexuality come flying out from where it's been hidden throughout their self-complacent marriage years.

Then it happens...after a few weeks or less the man says to you, "I love you!"....and after years of a loving marriage that has changed can we actually believe they are in love with us?

Over the past two years I have heard this story told by many or have seen it publicly play out here. It's usually the guy who talks stuff and has no patience at all because he can't wait to get you in bed.....and insists on meeting.

I guess my concern is how can you truly feel a man who sexually flirts with everyone who is not tied down and then some of those too...loves you? Remember...men can go from one woman to another quite easily whereas women hold the act of love far more precious than most men do...and these are my opinions from listening to their bar chatter, lockerroom chatter and workplace chatter. Sadly, some men will tell you whatever you want to hear and they know exactly when you are vulnerable...it always shows.

Why do we go from years with one partner to thinking that a few weeks without ever meeting someone is the next best thing for us?

Love me or hate me..."it is what it is," as the saying goes....

disclaimer: yes there are some true and beautiful members who have definitely fell in love here and it's very real!

[OU812]

Thanks for posting this TI.
It is very good food for thought.
And very true.
I am new here and have had a lot of fun with the Gal's I have chatted with.
And believe I'v met some new friends.
But I also realize that most likely nothing physical will ever come of any flirting.
Like they say in Vegas what happens on M&F stays on M&F.

[laineycali]

lol i tried to type my response twice but the site keeps locking up on me..

i just think it is what it is and women are not such a victim all the time..we know what we r getting into ..... and i dont think men are always so bad even if they are doing what ever just to get into her pants women like having their pants gotten into too!..
far as giving up on an old love and falling in love on here in a week or so..well..if its dead at home ..thinks like this site and online life is able to turn ur head...its not easy keeping the home life as fun and exciting...and we all forget the fancy of online life...

couurse this just my opinion..based on some real life stuff..but ..just my opinion...

[TIGUY]

Yes LC...this is very true. There are many women who welcome the excitement and the need as the men do. Very good point.

I think I was more or less reaching out to those women and also men whose heart gets broken. The men seem to have a habit of tossing that "I love you" stuff out at anytime at all...and I'm just trying to help others who may not realize it.

lol i tried to type my response twice but the site keeps locking up on me..

i just think it is what it is and women are not such a victim all the time..we know what we r getting into ..... and i dont think men are always so bad even if they are doing what ever just to get into her pants women like having their pants gotten into too!..
far as giving up on an old love and falling in love on here in a week or so..well..if its dead at home ..thinks like this site and online life is able to turn ur head...its not easy keeping the home life as fun and exciting...and we all forget the fancy of online life...

couurse this just my opinion..based on some real life stuff..but ..just my opinion...

[jmsmith12345]

I have heard this so many times and I'll toss this out there to let everyone comment as they please.

A man works the site and flirts sexually or non-sexually with all the women he can. A connection is made, and two members feel the excitement of flirting or perhaps one or both members have their dormant sexuality come flying out from where it's been hidden throughout their self-complacent marriage years.

Then it happens...after a few weeks or less the man says to you, "I love you!"....and after years of a loving marriage that has changed can we actually believe they are in love with us?

Over the past two years I have heard this story told by many or have seen it publicly play out here. It's usually the guy who talks stuff and has no patience at all because he can't wait to get you in bed.....and insists on meeting.

I guess my concern is how can you truly feel a man who sexually flirts with everyone who is not tied down and then some of those too...loves you? Remember...men can go from one woman to another quite easily whereas women hold the act of love far more precious than most men do...and these are my opinions from listening to their bar chatter, lockerroom chatter and workplace chatter. Sadly, some men will tell you whatever you want to hear and they know exactly when you are vulnerable...it always shows.

Why do we go from years with one partner to thinking that a few weeks without ever meeting someone is the next best thing for us?

Love me or hate me..."it is what it is," as the saying goes....

disclaimer: yes there are some true and beautiful members who have definitely fell in love here and it's very real!

If a man or woman proclaims love for another member, does it necessarily have to be sexual/physical love? Why can't that love be a friendship love because two people have developed a relationship based on common interests, emotional companionship, or just simply enjoy each other's company. We all know that, for the most part, this place is a refuge from whatever. It varies for each member, but to discount the "I love you's" that members share with each other and all of us, to me, is wrong.

For example, I have friends that I love dearly...as friends. There is no intent to ever meet, and if by chance we did, the intent surely is not to start a sexual relationship. I also have a few very close friends that I love as a second family. They let me be me, while at the same time tell me when I am being an ass, or just tell me the truth...not a watered down version they think I want to hear. This love is based on a deep respect, and I value them for their love.

So, to state that "men can go from one woman to another quite easily" implies this of all men, and these generalizations are usually what lead to the "isms" I so "love," like racism, sexism, etc. A statement like that also places less value on the love a man has to offer. Yes, men and women love differently, but each individual loves differently, and on many different levels...so, why question other's motivations for love, just enjoy it, celebrate it, and when on occasion, that loves proves to be false...be there to help that person who is hurting and show them the love of a friend.

[Barkiss]

It's not just men...there are many women "players" here too.

Excellent question....and although I feel there are many that will say anything to get another to succumb to their wishes; I feel the majority here actually believe what they say, when they say "I love you". However, I also feel what they are confusing "love" with what is actually lust. Not lust necessarily in the sexual basis, but lust for attention, lust for companionship, lust for approval, and yes, lust for sexual activities. In my opinion, lust is easy...very easy...and love is difficult, very difficult.

I also feel, and this is well documented on the site, that the word "love" is overused to the point of losing its meaning, specifically in online relationships. I remember when there was a time that telling someone that you loved them was the step right before engagement. Am I to believe there are that many people on this site and online in general who are that close to marriage?, or does it have more to do with the lack of control of an online relationship in an offline world?

[Barkiss]

If a man or woman proclaims love for another member, does it necessarily have to be sexual/physical love? Why can't that love be a friendship love because two people have developed a relationship based on common interests, emotional companionship, or just simply enjoy each other's company. We all know that, for the most part, this place is a refuge from whatever. It varies for each member, but to discount the "I love you's" that members share with each other and all of us, to me, is wrong.

For example, I have friends that I love dearly...as friends. There is no intent to ever meet, and if by chance we did, the intent surely is not to start a sexual relationship. I also have a few very close friends that I love as a second family. They let me be me, while at the same time tell me when I am being an ass, or just tell me the truth...not a watered down version they think I want to hear. This love is based on a deep respect, and I value them for their love.

So, to state that "men can go from one woman to another quite easily" implies this of all men, and these generalizations are usually what lead to the "isms" I so "love," like racism, sexism, etc. A statement like that also places less value on the love a man has to offer. Yes, men and women love differently, but each individual loves differently, and on many different levels...so, why question other's motivations for love, just enjoy it, celebrate it, and when on occasion, that loves proves to be false...be there to help that person who is hurting and show them the love of a friend.

Excellent point, and I agree. Although he spoke in generalities, I believe his points were very specifically based. With that in mind, he has very valid points, but has limited it to one side of the coin.

[jmsmith12345]

It's not just men...there are many women "players" here too.

Excellent question....and although I feel there are many that will say anything to get another to succumb to their wishes; I feel the majority here actually believe what they say, when they say "I love you". However, I also feel what they are confusing "love" with what is actually lust. Not lust necessarily in the sexual basis, but lust for attention, lust for companionship, lust for approval, and yes, lust for sexual activities. In my opinion, lust is easy...very easy...and love is difficult, very difficult.

I also feel, and this is well documented on the site, that the word "love" is overused to the point of losing its meaning, specifically in online relationships. I remember when there was a time that telling someone that you loved them was the step right before engagement. Am I to believe there are that many people on this site and online in general who are that close to marriage?, or does it have more to do with the lack of control of an online relationship in an offline world?

Two very valid points, and I believe that in the end, most of the love does turn out to be lust, but that also has to play itself out in here, as well as in real life.

The anonymity of an online persona makes that "lack of control" of which you speak far too easy and if we step back for a few and really think about our passions and desires here, then maybe we would apply some real world common sense to online relationships.

[OnceAKing]

The "I Love You" words come from so many different perspectives, so many different roots that there's no way of knowing when you hear it if the meaning and intention is the same as your meaning would be if and when you said it, regardless of which gender is doing the uttering at any given moment. That's been discussed not only here but throughout the history of man many, many times. Gender, culture, family, past experiences, current emotional state, current needs and more... all go in to what is intended to be conveyed...and not to forget, testosterone and another notch on the headboard matter.

And too, what appears to others or even what is proclaimed by one as a "loving marriage" that's gone on for years may in truth have only been a desire for it to have been a loving marriage when it wasn't...or even a, "there's things I love about you but then there's a lot I can't stand, much of you I resent, and part of you I even hate" kind of marriage. All to say that what might appear to be switching horses in the middle of the stream might in reality be I'm just riding this horse to keep from my feet from getting wet or I didn't realize there was a better ride waiting on me. Or just an awakining of the "Oh, you mean I'm really worthy of something better" reality.

I do believe many, if not most of the love proclamations come from a sincere feeling at the moment, some folks are more reserved and some are more spontaneous about expressing their immediate feelings. I really don't believe, from my point of view, that very many say it knowing that it's totally not true. Encountering that special one is a matter of discovery, searching, exploring, and that comes from trial and error. I believe it's rare when all of that process isn't required and some of the time, maybe even most of the time we realize that while we may have loved what we knew, we were yet to know it all.

[SirFox]

Very verrrry Interesting. Thanks for starting this thread TIGUY...

[jmsmith12345]

One of the biggest issues I have with the term "love," other than it's overuse, is how too many of us spend our entire lives worrying about it, analyzing it, second guessing it, questioning our own capacity for it, and all too often fearing it. When did love become so difficult? Why do we waste so much time not experiencing it? Why not just embrace it for as long as it is in our lives?

I know these are general questions, but I would prefer to embrace the love that is in my life in the here and now, and not fret over past loves lost or unknown loves yet to come. I have too many other things in life to worry about to have "love" wind up on that list too.

[scoobertina]

good thread... I won't add to it.. just read.. but I am enjoying this one..

[scoobertina]

One of the biggest issues I have with the term "love," other than it's overuse, is how too many of us spend our entire lives worrying about it, analyzing it, second guessing it, questioning our own capacity for it, and all too often fearing it. When did love become so difficult? Why do we waste so much time not experiencing it? Why not just embrace it for as long as it is in our lives?

I know these are general questions, but I would prefer to embrace the love that is in my life in the here and now, and not fret over past loves lost or unknown loves yet to come. I have too many other things in life to worry about to have "love" wind up on that list too.


grrrr... now I have to respond... thanks...

I agree wholeheartedly with this... why not just live.. enjoy what you have.. if you find someone you care about.. go with it.. let it flow... don't look too deeply into it.. just live it, enjoy it.. you don't know how long it will last... so seize the opportunity to just love...

[Barkiss]

The "I Love You" words come from so many different perspectives, so many different roots that there's no way of knowing when you hear it if the meaning and intention is the same as your meaning would be if and when you said it, regardless of which gender is doing the uttering at any given moment. That's been discussed not only here but throughout the history of man many, many times. Gender, culture, family, past experiences, current emotional state, current needs and more... all go in to what is intended to be conveyed...and not to forget, testosterone and another notch on the headboard matter.

And too, what appears to others or even what is proclaimed by one as a "loving marriage" that's gone on for years may in truth have only been a desire for it to have been a loving marriage when it wasn't...or even a, "there's things I love about you but then there's a lot I can't stand, much of you I resent, and part of you I even hate" kind of marriage. All to say that what might appear to be switching horses in the middle of the stream might in reality be I'm just riding this horse to keep from my feet from getting wet or I didn't realize there was a better ride waiting on me. Or just an awakining of the "Oh, you mean I'm really worthy of something better" reality.

I do believe many, if not most of the love proclamations come from a sincere feeling at the moment, some folks are more reserved and some are more spontaneous about expressing their immediate feelings. I really don't believe, from my point of view, that very many say it knowing that it's totally not true. Encountering that special one is a matter of discovery, searching, exploring, and that comes from trial and error. I believe it's rare when all of that process isn't required and some of the time, maybe even most of the time we realize that while we may have loved what we knew, we were yet to know it all.

Based on this philosophy, should anyone ever get married? Isn't the grass always going to be greener? When you love someone, are you not accepting the "a lot I can't stand, much of you I resent, and part of you I even hate" moments and circumstances?

I agree that when people say it here, that they truly feel like they mean it. I don't think there are many that are saying it with evil intentions. I just argue that when some say "I love you", they should be saying "I lust you", because it is more factual, albeit not as sexy. (actually it is sexier; however probably won't accomplish the "love" they seek to fulfill their "lust") :)

[fever]

I think there are a lot of valid points that have been made, so the only thing I'd add is that "love," or whatever a relationship is based on, is a two-way street. As laniey said, women aren't always the victims. Love is not just what is said by one partner, but also what is heard by the other. We are all here for our own personal reasons, and for many of us that stems from feeling that something is missing somewhere. The idea that men on the site are telling women on the site that they love them to get into their virtual (or even real) pants, neither gives women credit for knowing the difference, nor does it account for the fact that women are looking for something as well. And I can't imagine that it doesn't work both ways!

All of that said, what happens between two people on the site is one thing. How it gets played out in a public forum makes fascinating reading.... Nor should we forget that we don't see the whole story on the threads!

[SydneyCarton]

As laniey said, women aren't always the victims.

No truer words have ever been spoken...

[Barkiss]

One of the biggest issues I have with the term "love," other than it's overuse, is how too many of us spend our entire lives worrying about it, analyzing it, second guessing it, questioning our own capacity for it, and all too often fearing it. When did love become so difficult? Why do we waste so much time not experiencing it? Why not just embrace it for as long as it is in our lives?

I know these are general questions, but I would prefer to embrace the love that is in my life in the here and now, and not fret over past loves lost or unknown loves yet to come. I have too many other things in life to worry about to have "love" wind up on that list too.

Oh how I agree with you...

Unfortunately because so many people use it for "power" (and I'm using that term very loosely), you have to worry about it. How many of us have had a broken heart over liking someone? Love causes such extremes it is hard to ignore it.

[Sensual Woman]

From my perspective, I do not use the word "love" easily. If I say I love someone, it is deeply felt and sincere. I tend to be open with my feelings. If I say I care, then I do, and I mean it. There are a lot of people that I care about and have a great deal of respect for. I am the same way on this site as in real life. I try to be respectful of people's feelings and do not play games. These are all real people on here, each with their own reasons for being on this site.

Those of us with less than ideal situations at home may come here for different reasons than those who just come here for fun, flirting and friendship. As long as you are up front and honest, there is less chance for misinterpreting someone's intentions.

To me, whatever your reason is, be honest and upfront. That way, people will not read things that are not there, no one will get played, and both parties will know what to expect. That lessens the chance of hurt feelings. And please, if your intentions are just to have fun, be friends only, or just get laid, be honest from the get go about it.

Sometimes something more develops between two people. When love grows, it is beautiful. But that also depends upon the circumstances of the two people involved. And each should really think about whether it is really love or lust. But, hopeless romantic that I am, I love to see when two people truly fall in love. It gives me hope. It doesn't happen that often, and everyone deserves love I don't like to see people hurt or mislead.

Whether it is your present spouse, someone on this site, your friends, or someone you fall in love with, let them know how you feel. If it is friendship, honor and support that friendship. If it is lust, let them know. If you want to celebrate your love for your spouse, do that as well. And isf you are fortunate enough to fall in love, celebrate it.

Love should be nurtured, wherever it is found.

[jmsmith12345]

Oh how I agree with you...

Unfortunately because so many people use it for "power" (and I'm using that term very loosely), you have to worry about it. How many of us have had a broken heart over liking someone? Love causes such extremes it is hard to ignore it.

True, but unfortunately, like everything else in life, love is a gamble...sometimes you win, and more often you lose (Why do you think Vegas makes so much money?). But, without the gamble, would the love that you find really be worth it? I think the knowledge that you could have your heart broken at anytime makes love that much more powerful. The amount of vulnerability that you have to face makes those "true loves" worth every painful moment, because you have opened yourself up to the point of allowing another to destroy you, and yet they choose to love you.

[Barkiss]

True, but unfortunately, like everything else in life, love is a gamble...sometimes you win, and more often you lose (Why do you think Vegas makes so much money?). But, without the gamble, would the love that you find really be worth it? I think the knowledge that you could have your heart broken at anytime makes love that much more powerful. The amount of vulnerability that you have to face makes those "true loves" worth every painful moment, because you have opened yourself up to the point of allowing another to destroy you, and yet they choose to love you.

Ah...excellent analogy, because it certainly makes my point. Too many people place their love on the roulette wheel for one spin, where they should be placing it in a long-term treasury bond. :)

Oh...I know you hate my parables, so I'll respond in kind with actual statements. :) I agree, love is a gamble, relationships are a gamble, friendships are a gamble, people in general are gambles; however I believe you have to make an assessment of how much you are willing to wager in each individual relationship. And isn't it because you are gambling that you are worried? I know everytime I put my money on the roulette wheel, my anxiety level climbs as the wheel is spinning. :) Damn...freaking parable again...I can't help it. Still love me? :)

BTW...headed to Vegas for my 1st of 4 trips this year in March...anyone want to join me? :)

[Tiglet]

Are there really that many folks telling each other "I love you" around here? I think I've been missing out on something cause it ain't been happening to me. DRAT! :D

[Barkiss]

Ah...excellent analogy, because it certainly makes my point. Too many people place their love on the roulette wheel for one spin, where they should be placing it in a long-term treasury bond. :)

Oh...I know you hate my parables, so I'll respond in kind with actual statements. :) I agree, love is a gamble, relationships are a gamble, friendships are a gamble, people in general are gambles; however I believe you have to make an assessment of how much you are willing to wager in each individual relationship. And isn't it because you are gambling that you are worried? I know everytime I put my money on the roulette wheel, my anxiety level climbs as the wheel is spinning. :) Damn...freaking parable again...I can't help it. Still love me? :)

BTW...headed to Vegas for my 1st of 4 trips this year in March...anyone want to join me? :)

Damn...can I have any more smiley faces?

[Barkiss]

Are there really that many folks telling each other "I love you" around here? I think I've been missing out on something cause it ain't been happening to me. DRAT! :D


Awww...I love you.


Unfortunately if you have read my above posts, you now realize I'm probably lying just to get in your pants. :)

[jmsmith12345]

Ah...excellent analogy, because it certainly makes my point. Too many people place their love on the roulette wheel for one spin, where they should be placing it in a long-term treasury bond. :)

Oh...I know you hate my parables, so I'll respond in kind with actual statements. :) I agree, love is a gamble, relationships are a gamble, friendships are a gamble, people in general are gambles; however I believe you have to make an assessment of how much you are willing to wager in each individual relationship. And isn't it because you are gambling that you are worried? I know everytime I put my money on the roulette wheel, my anxiety level climbs as the wheel is spinning. :) Damn...freaking parable again...I can't help it. Still love me? :)

BTW...headed to Vegas for my 1st of 4 trips this year in March...anyone want to join me? :)

Barkiss, I love you like a diabetic loves chocolate. You are especially desirable yet, you are still forbidden. :D

[SirFox]

And then there is the perception of being loved, the perception of love, and all the mental images that exist.

[Tiglet]

Awww...I love you.


Unfortunately if you have read my above posts, you now realize I'm probably lying just to get in your pants. :)
Aw now....you didn't have to go and ruin it by telling me you're actually 'in lust'.....a girl can dream can't she :lmao

[fever]

BTW...headed to Vegas for my 1st of 4 trips this year in March...anyone want to join me? :)

I'll be in Vegas in March...but I'm not sure that you truly love me!

[Barkiss]

I'll be in Vegas in March...but I'm not sure that you truly love me!

Oh...if you are in Vegas in March, I can guarantee that I love you! :)

[jmsmith12345]

I'll be in Vegas in March...but I'm not sure that you truly love me!

Just wear your fire hydrant costume...I am sure you will see some of his "love" then.

[fever]

Just wear your fire hydrant costume...I am sure you will see some of his "love" then.

I thought you had the costume...

[jmsmith12345]

I thought you had the costume...

I started to just feel like it was lust, so I returned it to you, hoping you would have better luck.

[fever]

I started to just feel like it was lust, so I returned it to you, hoping you would have better luck.

Yeah, well lust was really all I was looking for anyway!

[jmsmith12345]

Yeah, well lust was really all I was looking for anyway!

Do you really think that I am THAT easy????

[fever]

Do you really think that I am THAT easy????

OK, fine...you're right. I underestimated you. I love you, ok...is that what you needed to hear???

[SirFox]

All this "LOVE" going around...Amazing.....

[jmsmith12345]

OK, fine...you're right. I underestimated you. I love you, ok...is that what you needed to hear???

It doe help me feel respected in the morning...especially when all I wake up with is a note.

[Barkiss]

Yeah, well lust was really all I was looking for anyway!

Yes!!! Now we are communicating! :)

[fever]

It doe help me feel respected in the morning...especially when all I wake up with is a note.

:sry But now that we're in love, no more note. No more flowers, no more candy, no more sex...and no more notes.

[fever]

Yes!!! Now we are communicating! :)

Vegas, baby...(but please, not a word to JM, b/c we're in love now)

[jmsmith12345]

:sry But now that we're in love, no more note. No more flowers, no more candy, no more sex...and no more notes.

Looks like I will have to just go back to "spreading the love" again...and just when I thought my man whore years were behind me. Oh well.

[JoyS]

This is a perfect thread right before valentines! Thanks TI......you are a true romantic!

[fever]

Looks like I will have to just go back to "spreading the love" again...and just when I thought my man whore years were behind me. Oh well.

But I thought that's what you wanted... Fine, be a man whore. See if I care. But if you're ever looking for lust, just call me!

[jmsmith12345]

But I thought that's what you wanted... Fine, be a man whore. See if I care. But if you're ever looking for lust, just call me!

Just like the last number you gave me??? 1-900-Son of a bitch, she set me up again. How stupid was I to fall for that a 3rd time. Are we talking that number?

[Barkiss]

But I thought that's what you wanted... Fine, be a man whore. See if I care. But if you're ever looking for lust, just call me!

555-555-0001 "Hello? Is Fever there? Wrong number? Ok, thanks."

555-555-0002 "Hello? Is Fever there? Wrong number? Ok, thanks."

555-555-0003 "Hello? Is Fever there? Wrong number? Ok, thanks."

This might take a while...but I'm a very determined man.

[KindheartedWoman]

I am well aware that man prey on woman's vulnerabilities and can tell all the best lies to get a women in bed. It happens online, and offline. When a marriage has grow stale and lacking in emotional and physical committment, it is very easy to find new "love" online. I have not studied the interactions enough on this site to see who is hooking up with who. The emotions can feel very real. The intentions can easily be hidden. It is a very fragile site we are treading on. I sincerely hope that we are all prepared for the consequences of our actions.

[OnceAKing]

Based on this philosophy, should anyone ever get married?

Based on what you see and read here, I suspect most probably shouldn't have...but that doesn't apply to all marriages either past, present or future, of course.

Isn't the grass always going to be greener?

There will most likely always be the threat of temptation lingering somewhere, yes.

When you love someone, are you not accepting the "a lot I can't stand, much of you I resent, and part of you I even hate" moments and circumstances?

Those things that can elicit those feelings are surely there to one extent or another. In love, hopefully those things are either not seen or those extreme feelings not felt. I'd like to think that at least the resentment and hate feelings aren't there. I know we're implored to love those who hate us, I doubt few ever reach that level of sanctity in our real lives.

I agree that when people say it here, that they truly feel like they mean it. I don't think there are many that are saying it with evil intentions. I just argue that when some say "I love you", they should be saying "I lust you",

You're not arguing with me about this, I agree. Or we could just say I like you and I'd love to fuck some of those I like. Only those sworn to celibacy and mean it, could argue with that.

because it is more factual, albeit not as sexy. (actually it is sexier; however probably won't accomplish the "love" they seek to fulfill their "lust") :)

But for some reason saying, "Barkiss, make lust to me" or, "Barkiss make like to me" just doesn't do much to curl my toes.

Unfortunately in the end it all boils down to the old, "Time will tell" adage. And it always does.

[SirFox]

I am well aware that man prey on woman's vulnerabilities and can tell all the best lies to get a women in bed. It happens online, and offline. When a marriage has grow stale and lacking in emotional and physical committment, it is very easy to find new "love" online. I have not studied the interactions enough on this site to see who is hooking up with who. The emotions can feel very real. The intentions can easily be hidden. It is a very fragile site we are treading on. I sincerely hope that we are all prepared for the consequences of our actions.

KINDHEARTED: You know something?
Men may prey on women's vulnerabilities, but so do women. Men and women have different approaches. Once you realize who is doing what to whom and whom to what, you become rather cynical and ironic because at 500 paces, you can see what is happening...

..even in an office, in a supermarket, a dark theatre...and amongst couples who you invite to your home...the looks...the sensibilities...the change of heat of people around a dinner table...

[OnceAKing]

I am well aware that man prey on woman's vulnerabilities and can tell all the best lies to get a women in bed. It happens online, and offline. When a marriage has grow stale and lacking in emotional and physical committment, it is very easy to find new "love" online. I have not studied the interactions enough on this site to see who is hooking up with who. The emotions can feel very real. The intentions can easily be hidden. It is a very fragile site we are treading on. I sincerely hope that we are all prepared for the consequences of our actions.


Hmmmm, the prey....men the predator....does that mean they don't enjoy being eaten.

:lmao Seriously men prey on women's vulnerabilities? Men tell ALL the best lies? Shit, does it always have to come down the being a predatory thing? At some point wouldn't you just have to own being a fool? Not weak, not vulnerable,,,just a fool?...I was, I can.

[JoyS]

[quote=KindheartedWoman;1386946]I am well aware that man prey on woman's vulnerabilities and can tell all the best lies to get a women in bed. It happens online, and offline. When a marriage has grow stale and lacking in emotional and physical committment, it is very easy to find new "love" online.quote]



Why is this all about hating on men? Women are just as guily as men! In fact I think women say it a lot easier then men!

[Barkiss]

Hmmmm, the prey....men the predator....does that mean they don't enjoy being eaten.

:lmao Seriously men prey on women's vulnerabilities? Men tell ALL the best lies? Shit, does it always have to come down the being a predatory thing? At some point wouldn't you just have to own being a fool? Not weak, not vulnerable,,,just a fool?...I was, I can.

It sucks being the "fool" (I can speak from experience). However...hard to cry about the game when you knew the rules going in...

[Barkiss]

Why is this all about hating on men? Women are just as guily as men! In fact I think women say it a lot easier then men!

Holy shit...I might actually truly love you and mean it! ;)

[JoyS]

Holy shit...I might actually truly love you and mean it! ;)


Are you sure its not just lust??? I am feeling some love...i mean no lust...those damned emotions getting in the way again!

[fever]

Just like the last number you gave me??? 1-900-Son of a bitch, she set me up again. How stupid was I to fall for that a 3rd time. Are we talking that number?

555-555-0001 "Hello? Is Fever there? Wrong number? Ok, thanks."

555-555-0002 "Hello? Is Fever there? Wrong number? Ok, thanks."

555-555-0003 "Hello? Is Fever there? Wrong number? Ok, thanks."

This might take a while...but I'm a very determined man.

OK..now I can't remember which number I gave to whom. Dang!!! Perhaps I should just search for lust elsewhere....

[Barkiss]

Are you sure its not just lust??? I am feeling some love...i mean no lust...those damned emotions getting in the way again!

Oh hell...I'm just trying to get laid.

[JoyS]

Oh hell...I'm just trying to get laid.


Great then we are on the same page!

[Barkiss]

Great then we are on the same page!

See how good communication works? Now...when and where? ;)

And somehow I keep hijacking this poor thread. My apologies to TI.

[JoyS]

See how good communication works? Now...when and where? ;)

And somehow I keep hijacking this poor thread. My apologies to TI.


Can't everyone just communicate like this!

I'm easy what works best for you?

[OnceAKing]

See how good communication works? Now...when and where? ;)

And somehow I keep hijacking this poor thread. My apologies to TI.


Cuz way down deep inside you're an Outlaw and you know it! :sng

[Barkiss]

Can't everyone just communicate like this!

I'm easy what works best for you?

Oh...I'm the easy one. ;)

[Barkiss]

Cuz way down deep inside you're an Outlaw and you know it! :sng

I'm wearing a badge...can't admit to any such thing.

[JoyS]

Oh...I'm the easy one. ;)


Ok....2 easy people....that makes it perfect! No love...no attachment....just pure sex!

[onceamarine]

So I guess I am not in love with Scoob then? I'm so confused now. This is why I just avoid the whole love thing all together.

[pagirl]

Why is this all about hating on men? Women are just as guily as men! In fact I think women say it a lot easier then men!


I totally agree with you!!! But the reasons for saying it are probably very different in many cases, not ALL, but many...

[OnceAKing]

I totally agree with you!!! But the reasons for saying it are probably very different in many cases, not ALL, but many...

:lmao So are you saying that for this reason some men have said that the next time they want to fall in love and get married they'll just find a woman they hate and buy her a new house and car?

[SirFox]

I have this hypothesis about men and women and love and marriage...It goes like this.

Girls have their periods and want to replace their mothers in the eyes of their fathers and brothers. They do not want to get pregnant however to make a difference in society, top be counted, they must have children. On the other hand many ladies cannot ignore their hormones...so they succumb.....to a male that looks like their fathers.

Boys, early on life, start to get raging hard ons in at night, in bed (alone but already horizontally and in bed...) and in the during the days. It is one thing to sleep naked in a bed and copiously use the old hand. The only idea is to get laid. Men learn how to get a woman into bed with a preference not to get her pregnant or killed by the girl's father in the process.
Hormones keep on raging. Mothers seeing their sons in such need realize that they need to marry their sons to a lady who cane be controlled by them before they lose control of them.

Mother son's and father's daughter are brought together and marry lustfully.

The union of man and woman exists for a while under the auspices of something called "love,"a feeling that is a mixture of want, desire, pure lust, a little bit of social respect.

"Love" is a social thing that is respectable today and we have been taught well....when we love truly, we must contract marriage.

[jmsmith12345]

I have this hypothesis about men and women and love and marriage...It goes like this.

Girls have their periods and want to replace their mothers in the eyes of their fathers and brothers. They do not want to get pregnant however to make a difference in society, top be counted, they must have children. On the other hand many ladies cannot ignore their hormones...so they succumb.....to a male that looks like their fathers.

Boys, early on life, start to get raging hard ons in at night, in bed (alone but already horizontally and in bed...) and in the during the days. It is one thing to sleep naked in a bed and copiously use the old hand. The only idea is to get laid. Men learn how to get a woman into bed with a preference not to get her pregnant or killed by the girl's father in the process.
Hormones keep on raging. Mothers seeing their sons in such need realize that they need to marry their sons to a lady who cane be controlled by them before they lose control of them.

Mother son's and father's daughter are brought together and marry lustfully.

The union of man and woman exists for a while under the auspices of something called "love,"a feeling that is a mixture of want, desire, pure lust, a little bit of social respect.

"Love" is a social thing that is respectable today and we have been taught well....when we love truly, we must contract marriage.

Fox, I love that last part..."we must contract marriage" makes it sound like a venereal disease. :lmao

[Barkiss]

Fox, I love that last part..."we must contract marriage" makes it sound like a venereal disease. :lmao

In many ways it is...

In most circumstances you get it after sexual intercourse.

It is contagious...you see your friends doing it, so you do.

It typically has side effects....i.e. children.

And it ultimately will cause your death.

[jmsmith12345]

In many ways it is...

In most circumstances you get it after sexual intercourse.

It is contagious...you see your friends doing it, so you do.

It typically has side effects....i.e. children.

And it ultimately will cause your death.

You are the romantic devil...aren't you? I bet you got the wife a new set of vacuum bags for Valentine's Day...red of course.

[SirFox]

Fox, I love that last part..."we must contract marriage" makes it sound like a venereal disease. :lmao

That was my cynical hypothesis.

I have a prince-princess hypothesis as well.

I am currently reading a book on the whys men and women married. It is eye opening to see that more than 150 years ago, men and women did not married for love. They married for many other reaons.
I am trying to figure out tonight whether it was Hollywood or the various Churches that wanted us to yes...contract marriage through love...

[Brink]

I had a great feeling about this thread; so many meaningful and insightful comments already! What is the point in living if we never savour love? Ah, well...this will be long! One love, yet to be mentioned, is the love for this forum as a concept and a meeting place. Like so many others, I am in love with this entity, this living object, for all that it brings me. And it’s one of the deepest involvements, and longest occupations I’ve ever had. The mutual connection I share brings an automatic affiliation with everybody who adores it, also. The forum holds so many hearts and love stories - if it were a person - it would surely collapse under the weight of its passion and anguish!

But there is somebody here that I love way more than the forum. No need for me to attest any further than that, as my words are my words. And there’s my wonderful wife. Balancing two loves has only been possible due to honesty, trust and respect….and the yearning for happiness. Without these, nothing worthy could ever exist, because love can’t make it on its own. My 'loves' shine different lights, but they are personal to me, and not something for other people to understand. It is not for me to judge whether others share my view of love here – I just identify with those lucky to be in love as blessed people; also relishing and coping with whatever they have found: whether it’s platonic, kindred, sexual or a confusing heap of mess. I choose not to be cynical most of the time because I know how implausible my own situation appears.

Thankfully, we are never privy to the full facts of what’s going on between two people – often, neither are they – but it seems some do hastily open themselves up to another whether they are vulnerable, naïve or malleable at the time. Sometimes, this total belief and surrender is what forms the basis of all that is love; sometimes it presents the perfect opportunity for somebody to act without a conscience. In my opinion, if you are to be true to the humanity that it conjures, love should be kept out of the equation most of the time - not shoved at somebody like it’s an essential offering - just another word you said today. Love persists when it becomes unavoidable, inevitable, undeniable, and absolutely what you both want. It is more than a word, so afford it some protection rights. Enjoy the fun, and any pleasure, but separate your love from these for the thorny process that it is.

[Barkiss]

Brink...excellent post as usual. Coming from a "man of few words", you sure do say a lot. :)

Since you addressed another issue, I feel obligated to ask the question, can one "love" more than one, in a non-platonic or kindred way?

If the answer is "yes", then how does that affect the reciprocal love? Does it divide? Is it shared? Is the intensity different than one-on-one relationships? Are we limited to just 2 "loves"?

If the answer is "no", then one love must dissolve the previous relationship, leaving that person in a void. Does this negate the previous "love"? or was that the end to one and the beginning of another?

Curious on thoughts...

[dartgirl]

I wish I could write as well as all of you. Everyone has made some very interesting observations.

For me, I don't tell anybody but my kids that I love them. That word is so overused anymore that I can't find it in myself to use it. I only tell my husband that I love him because he gets all hurt if I don't say it back when he says it.

How can you love someone you don't really know? How can you really know someone if the only things you know about them is what you read online? There is alot to be said by what you can read in body language that you can't see here.

[gdgrlgnbd]

I have been had men tell me they love me. (online) I try to take in consideration their feelings but I really don't believe it is true love. It is in fact a manufactured feeling because I was either kind, paid attention, flirted or cared.

We all came here for lack of something and I think we tend to get caught up in what is not there. Hell I would love to have someone tell me they loved me if I thought it was sincere and the real deal.

Not to say they did not mean it at the time, it is temporary. It does not mean they want to hear me when I am sad, share my joys and care endlessly for me.

Ok, back to being funny now!

[scoobertina]

So I guess I am not in love with Scoob then? I'm so confused now. This is why I just avoid the whole love thing all together.
awwwww..... what we have is just lust? and here I thought it was the real deal... grrr.... so no more under the desk chats for you on breaks... and ummm... BABY CLOWNS!!!!

[cherri]

These are just my thoughts....I think you make a very valid point about men in general. Not all men are like that, granted, but for the most part that is the rule of thumb. Women are susceptable to sweet words, as well as men. I guess it all depends on what each gender is looking for. What he or she wants and expects. This is where good communications is involved with no room for lies. Always be genuine and honest about how you feel, and let that person know as soon as it changes. Love and passion triggers many different things, including emotions. Only an adult can sort through them with the capacity for reason.
For me personally, I love him. I know that he will never be mine. But I know he is only mine for a little while. And during that small time period, I will love him and enjoy every minute I have with him. He is aware that I am married to, with no plan of ever leaving my husband. He accepts that, knowing that I will never fully be his. But he also knows, that I get immense pleasure from him. He intrigues me and quenches my very thirst for the intimate relationship only a man and woman who is erotically bonded can have. He is someone who fills me with desire and sets in motion those deepest passions. He inspires me to be myself, un-inhibited and sinful. He makes me happy, without really having to do anything physical, just by being there. He is not only my lover, but my best friend and confidant. He is priceless, and well worth the risk. But that is it, it's a risk, that so few are willing to take.

[Brink]

Brink...excellent post as usual. Coming from a "man of few words", you sure do say a lot. :)

Since you addressed another issue, I feel obligated to ask the question, can one "love" more than one, in a non-platonic or kindred way?

If the answer is "yes", then how does that affect the reciprocal love? Does it divide? Is it shared? Is the intensity different than one-on-one relationships? Are we limited to just 2 "loves"?

If the answer is "no", then one love must dissolve the previous relationship, leaving that person in a void. Does this negate the previous "love"? or was that the end to one and the beginning of another?

Curious on thoughts...

Good question - I think people’s propensities are all very different, but I know what I am capable of. The love I feel, and everything that goes into that, gets bounced around and thrust amid two people – albeit very carefully and pragmatically, of course. It maybe sounds like love gets diluted, but love breeds love, breeds more love, and more complexities, and becomes richer and more concentrated: that is how I see it. Luckily, the other two people are OK with that!

It all depends on what your factors allow – you’ve got to be in a position to explore loving more than one person before you know whether it’s possible for you. Takes a lot of time and energy for starters - an enormous belief - and the ability to zone certain doubts out. So, basically, the same as what individual love needs. You just use the same processes you have set up, anyway. And I think it depends on how one’s love manifests itself – mine lives mostly in my mind, spirit and soul, and is not very physically acquired. I need a connection with somebody that is out-of-this-world, even if I'm living in the same environment as them.

[doggie62]

when I ask someone if the will be my "Cyber Girl Friend " and they say " yes"

what more is there ?

[TIGUY]

Hijacking anywhere but the sanctuary is a way of life...for many of us...enjoy...not an issue with me.

See how good communication works? Now...when and where? ;)

And somehow I keep hijacking this poor thread. My apologies to TI.

[JonJon62]

I think the real question, after reading some of these thoughtful and searching posts, truly needs to be not what is love on this site, but what is love? The Greeks had several words for it, however, I'm not going to delve that deeply here. The true meaning, in my humble opinion, is the ability to open ourselves to touching the spirit of others. That touch can be fleeting or more longer term. The key, though, is the ability to open ourselves to that touch.

Many of us have been hurt by others, and understandably we're leery of getting burned once again. However, is that any way to live our lives? Are we to live our lives afraid to reach out and touch another spirit with ours? Friendship is a kind of love, and I have seen so much of that on this site. Strangers reaching out to strangers, finding a common bond, and connecting. I have seen strangers reaching out to those who are hurting offering words of consolation and care. What is this if it is not love?

If you are talking about loving someone in a romantic, stop your heart, spend eternity with that person kind of love, well isn't that just as possible? I agree that there needs to be some caution thrown in there, especially if you are looking at completely re-writing the story of your life based on someone that you have met here. However, what are we if we don't at least believe in the infinite possibilities? Are we to be cynics or are we to be dreamers. Are we to live our lives in doubt, or hope?

For whatever reason we have all come to this place, at this point in time, there has to be, in my opinion, a reason. Perhaps the love we will find will be the kind word that helps us through our day. Perhaps it will be a connection with another that makes us catch our breath for a brief instant with its intensity. Perhaps there is something more.

I tend to be an optimist, believing in possibilities. There is always hope.

I know looking at the avatar kind of kills the spirit of the post, eh?

[LuckyJest]

Love here is the realization of something lost... A quest for that which has escaped our grasp... A fleeting image or real fact. Love is to be found, held, and tenderly apreciated. A gift should it come, a mirage perhaps even so.

[Frenchie_lady]

I know it can be many different things, that we expect and that do not expect either.

But be it in real life or virtual, the word holds a meaning and will only be used if the feeling is true, as far as i'm concerned anyway.

Being in love with someone on here is accepting that there might be someone at home, if not a spouse, it could be a child or even friends that will always come before I. Being in love with someone on here also means that the possibilites will most probably be limited, but will nonetheless enrich me and even make my real life easier, will make me smile, give me a sparkle in the eye and a spunk in my steps.

Its taking a chance on yourself and someone else and enjoying the ride as much as possible, hoping its just highs and very little lows.

[Sneaky]

I have heard this so many times and I'll toss this out there to let everyone comment as they please.

A man works the site and flirts sexually or non-sexually with all the women he can. A connection is made, and two members feel the excitement of flirting or perhaps one or both members have their dormant sexuality come flying out from where it's been hidden throughout their self-complacent marriage years.

Then it happens...after a few weeks or less the man says to you, "I love you!"....and after years of a loving marriage that has changed can we actually believe they are in love with us?

Over the past two years I have heard this story told by many or have seen it publicly play out here. It's usually the guy who talks stuff and has no patience at all because he can't wait to get you in bed.....and insists on meeting.

I guess my concern is how can you truly feel a man who sexually flirts with everyone who is not tied down and then some of those too...loves you? Remember...men can go from one woman to another quite easily whereas women hold the act of love far more precious than most men do...and these are my opinions from listening to their bar chatter, lockerroom chatter and workplace chatter. Sadly, some men will tell you whatever you want to hear and they know exactly when you are vulnerable...it always shows.

Why do we go from years with one partner to thinking that a few weeks without ever meeting someone is the next best thing for us?

Love me or hate me..."it is what it is," as the saying goes....



disclaimer: yes there are some true and beautiful members who have definitely fell in love here and it's very real!
I think it's been said, but I have to reiterate, it's not JUST men that "talk stuff" at this site. Women do it all the time. This is a flirting site. A big part of flirting is "talking stuff".
I personally do not feel you can love someone in two weeks. Not for the person they really are. Not online or in the real world.
There are men out there that hold the act of love as precious. Han Solo is a good example. In fact, when we are alone ALL he can talk about is how precious he finds the act of love.:crs

[Curiousoneonly]

From my perspective, I do not use the word "love" easily. If I say I love someone, it is deeply felt and sincere. I tend to be open with my feelings. If I say I care, then I do, and I mean it. There are a lot of people that I care about and have a great deal of respect for. I am the same way on this site as in real life. I try to be respectful of people's feelings and do not play games. These are all real people on here, each with their own reasons for being on this site.

Those of us with less than ideal situations at home may come here for different reasons than those who just come here for fun, flirting and friendship. As long as you are up front and honest, there is less chance for misinterpreting someone's intentions.

To me, whatever your reason is, be honest and upfront. That way, people will not read things that are not there, no one will get played, and both parties will know what to expect. That lessens the chance of hurt feelings. And please, if your intentions are just to have fun, be friends only, or just get laid, be honest from the get go about it.

Sometimes something more develops between two people. When love grows, it is beautiful. But that also depends upon the circumstances of the two people involved. And each should really think about whether it is really love or lust. But, hopeless romantic that I am, I love to see when two people truly fall in love. It gives me hope. It doesn't happen that often, and everyone deserves love I don't like to see people hurt or mislead.

Whether it is your present spouse, someone on this site, your friends, or someone you fall in love with, let them know how you feel. If it is friendship, honor and support that friendship. If it is lust, let them know. If you want to celebrate your love for your spouse, do that as well. And isf you are fortunate enough to fall in love, celebrate it.

Love should be nurtured, wherever it is found.
Well said, SW. :)

[biker-69s]

Tina said it best.."Whats Love Got To Do With It ".....

The term is used too freely everywhere.....It is a nice term of endearment towards a friend, but can it be real among people that have never met??

I have some good friends here and yes I would say I love them in as much that I care how they are feeling, if their mood is unhappy or if their day just sucked..

I think we are all here for something lacking in our own lives, and flirting helps us cope with that missing element. I look forward to seeing my friends here and feel a close attachment towards them, a few are very special to me...............

I THINK I LOVE THEM !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! See there it goes ...........

So to the ones I love and the ones I lust after.......As Tina Said..............

[laineycali]

and then in all our analisis.. maybe its just as simple as ......

"and in the end the love we take is equal to the love we make" the beatles....

and how about this one..


I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me. I love you for the part of me that you bring out" Roy Croft


can that be why 'love' happens ???

[whtwmnlvr]

I have heard this so many times and I'll toss this out there to let everyone comment as they please.

A man works the site and flirts sexually or non-sexually with all the women he can. A connection is made, and two members feel the excitement of flirting or perhaps one or both members have their dormant sexuality come flying out from where it's been hidden throughout their self-complacent marriage years.

Then it happens...after a few weeks or less the man says to you, "I love you!"....and after years of a loving marriage that has changed can we actually believe they are in love with us?

Over the past two years I have heard this story told by many or have seen it publicly play out here. It's usually the guy who talks stuff and has no patience at all because he can't wait to get you in bed.....and insists on meeting.

I guess my concern is how can you truly feel a man who sexually flirts with everyone who is not tied down and then some of those too...loves you? Remember...men can go from one woman to another quite easily whereas women hold the act of love far more precious than most men do...and these are my opinions from listening to their bar chatter, lockerroom chatter and workplace chatter. Sadly, some men will tell you whatever you want to hear and they know exactly when you are vulnerable...it always shows.

Why do we go from years with one partner to thinking that a few weeks without ever meeting someone is the next best thing for us?

Love me or hate me..."it is what it is," as the saying goes....

disclaimer: yes there are some true and beautiful members who have definitely fell in love here and it's very real!


You make a valid point, but as you said there are some exceptions...I am guilty of that myself, i chatted with some women from the site until i found "the one" and it should be clear to most that I love her. Since I have been with her we have been exclusive and I dont chat with any other women on this site. I have never met her and it wouldnt matter to me if i ever did, but i know in my heart that i do love her. If we meet, great, if not, nothing is going to change, because i met her here and fell in love and if thats the only way i can have her in my life, so be it!!

[TIGUY]

These thoughts of yours' describes exactly who you are...mastro!

yes, your av was sorta lame for this piece though JJ...

I tend to be an optimist, believing in possibilities. There is always hope.

I know looking at the avatar kind of kills the spirit of the post, eh?
Last edited by JonJon62; Yesterday at 06:36 PM.

[TIGUY]

Nice Biker Nice....:ok

Tina said it best.."Whats Love Got To Do With It ".....

The term is used too freely everywhere.....It is a nice term of endearment towards a friend, but can it be real among people that have never met??

I have some good friends here and yes I would say I love them in as much that I care how they are feeling, if their mood is unhappy or if their day just sucked..

I think we are all here for something lacking in our own lives, and flirting helps us cope with that missing element. I look forward to seeing my friends here and feel a close attachment towards them, a few are very special to me...............

I THINK I LOVE THEM !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! See there it goes ...........

So to the ones I love and the ones I lust after.......As Tina Said..............

[TIGUY]

If we truly mean it....when we say it....of course, it's all of this and much more....

and then in all our analisis.. maybe its just as simple as ......

"and in the end the love we take is equal to the love we make" the beatles....

and how about this one..


I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me. I love you for the part of me that you bring out" Roy Croft


can that be why 'love' happens ???

[TIGUY]

The doggie has spoken...lol! Hang out with us a while and you may just answer that question....

when I ask someone if the will be my "Cyber Girl Friend " and they say " yes"

what more is there ?

[TIGUY]

As a man, I tend to know men's minds better...and I realize there are women in the same mindset online and offline. There actually is nothing wrong with that mindset if both are the same. It's the unknowing who think there's something more to it because their partner acted in that very manner only to acheive his/hers agenda.

Excellent point Joy...

[quote=KindheartedWoman;1386946]I am well aware that man prey on woman's vulnerabilities and can tell all the best lies to get a women in bed. It happens online, and offline. When a marriage has grow stale and lacking in emotional and physical committment, it is very easy to find new "love" online.quote]



Why is this all about hating on men? Women are just as guily as men! In fact I think women say it a lot easier then men!

[Charmed]

You make a valid point, but as you said there are some exceptions...I am guilty of that myself, i chatted with some women from the site until i found "the one" and it should be clear to most that I love her. Since I have been with her we have been exclusive and I dont chat with any other women on this site. I have never met her and it wouldnt matter to me if i ever did, but i know in my heart that i do love her. If we meet, great, if not, nothing is going to change, because i met her here and fell in love and if thats the only way i can have her in my life, so be it!!


..

[Charmed]

I know it can be many different things, that we expect and that do not expect either.

But be it in real life or virtual, the word holds a meaning and will only be used if the feeling is true, as far as i'm concerned anyway.

Being in love with someone on here is accepting that there might be someone at home, if not a spouse, it could be a child or even friends that will always come before I. Being in love with someone on here also means that the possibilites will most probably be limited, but will nonetheless enrich me and even make my real life easier, will make me smile, give me a sparkle in the eye and a spunk in my steps.

Its taking a chance on yourself and someone else and enjoying the ride as much as possible, hoping its just highs and very little lows.

DL..... You defined it perfectly.... Thank you..

[magscribe]

Can you really love someone you haven't met? I dunno.

I do know places like this can lead to love, a way for people to meet, to talk, to get to know each other. I just don't know if you can complete the process without physically being in the same room — there's so much that can be hidden, or read into, without actually meeting.

i think you can share a great deal here, certainly become friends. But the next leap, to me, requires more.

[Han Solo]

Hijacking anywhere but the sanctuary is a way of life...for many of us...enjoy...not an issue with me.

:yks WHOA NELLY!!!! Have I entered the bizarro world at M&F? :D

[Han Solo]

COLOR][/FONT][/B]
There are men out there that hold the act of love as precious. Han Solo is a good example. In fact, when we are alone ALL he can talk about is how precious he finds the act of love.:crs


Well there ya go with your broke ass spelling again........it's PRECOCIOUS that you mean, NOT Precious..........you know PRECOCIOUS as in:

Developed more than is natural or usual at a given age; exceeding what is to be expected of one's years; too forward; -- used especially of mental forwardness;

Glad I could help clear that up :nu


Therefore when answering the question of "what is love at this site", I'd describe it as 'An Enigma wrapped in an anomaly'

[Tiglet]

Well there ya go with your broke ass spelling again........it's PRECOCIOUS that you mean, NOT Precious..........you know PRECOCIOUS as in:

Developed more than is natural or usual at a given age; exceeding what is to be expected of one's years; too forward; -- used especially of mental forwardness;

Glad I could help clear that up :nu


Therefore when answering the question of "what is love at this site", I'd describe it as 'An Enigma wrapped in an anomaly'
Nice try there bud. We know you are truly a softie....we don't bring it up much cause we know you'll be handing out RED points if'n we do :D

[Han Solo]

Nice try there bud. We know you are truly a softie....we don't bring it up much cause we know you'll be handing out RED points if'n we do :D
awwww c'mon...that whole red thing is just urban legend......although I could make an exception in order to keep the image alive if you're pickin' up what I'm puttin down sister ;)

:D

[Tiglet]

awwww c'mon...that whole red thing is just urban legend......although I could make an exception in order to keep the image alive if you're pickin' up what I'm puttin down sister ;)

:D
Hmmmm, so you started your own urban legend eh. PHEW hate to think by the mere mention of a certain someone being a softie would cause me to receive red points. :55

[jmsmith12345]

Well there ya go with your broke ass spelling again........it's PRECOCIOUS that you mean, NOT Precious..........you know PRECOCIOUS as in:

Developed more than is natural or usual at a given age; exceeding what is to be expected of one's years; too forward; -- used especially of mental forwardness;

Glad I could help clear that up :nu


Therefore when answering the question of "what is love at this site", I'd describe it as 'An Enigma wrapped in an anomaly'

So, you are like one of those greasy breakfast burritos???...no wonder I got the shits. :D

[Han Solo]

As for the "What is love at this site" question from the beginning....I've only given the thread a quick scan.....my first reaction was to say that If you've ever been been included in a rumor about being the fister or the fisty then someone secretly loves you in some form at this site....there is no closer or greater bond than that :sg


But as it relates to "love" on the site specifically....I don't think it's any different than anywhere else really. Whether it's on the basis of Romantic Love, Friendship Love or just the Love some people feel out of general caring for their fellow man or woman the principles remain the same. Certainly it's more difficult to sort of quantify or account for the all encompassing Love without the benefit of actual physical contact, that's a whole separate conversation unto it's own.......but for the most part I believe the same principles are true:

1. If you are in a chat room telling women you love them in order to "get the goods", I'd bet just about anything that person also uses those types of tactics in the bars at work or wherever they troll for women. And conversely, if a woman is allowing herself to believe a man is truly "in love" with her THAT FAST here, she will more than likely leap before she looks in the real world as well. That's not necessarily a criticism, it's just life that there are those of us that tend to wear our emotions on our sleeve and are more willing to jump in.....and those of us who are a little more conservative and let things evolve slower so we can take time to figure it out better.

2. As far as the stories where people have been duped with someone really laying on an act and pretending to be someone they are not? Yes, it's easier to do that online because it's just much easier to portray only the things you want to........but do we think that if someone is going to go through the trouble to make up a scam for Weeks or even Months or a year....do we really think they aren't manipulative in the way they approach their real life relationships??

3. Do people jump the gun on love because of some emotional void somewhere else in their life??....Another bet I'd take anyday....but wouldn't that happen pretty much anywhere else outside of here all things being equal??


So as far as what it is at this site??.........I'd argue that it's pretty much the same as it would be in any other venue......the main difference being "opportunity" for the quick love jumpers.......I mean, most of us tend to chat or meet people while we chat from work or early in the morning or late at night from our homes. If given the opportunity of of going out and meeting people in a social setting and seeing someone on a regular basis, would we not form a connection or bond with someone and encounter the same circumstances as above?? .........And whether we think that's Love or Lust or just having a fun time with someone just depends on our own personalities and how we're programmed.

[Barkiss]

You are forgetting to factor in what I like to call "OC" (Online courage). My bet I'd take anyday is that many people on this site would not act the way they do online compared to offline. They might secretly want to, and certainly the personality traits are there to do it; however it takes little courage do something online compared to offline.

Otherwise...a decent post...I'll give you props. ;)

[SirFox]

You are forgetting to factor in what I like to call "OC" (Online courage). My bet I'd take anyday is that many people on this site would not act the way they do online compared to offline. They might secretly want to, and certainly the personality traits are there to do it; however it takes little courage do something online compared to offline.

Otherwise...a decent post...I'll give you props. ;)

Agree with you, Lord BARKISS, Sir about courage online and offline, that many people could not act in real life, in society as they do here.

On the other hand, if we were to have a weekend reunion of M and F members, who knows what would happen? One thing for sure...we would look at one another in a different light........

[Han Solo]

You are forgetting to factor in what I like to call "OC" (Online courage). My bet I'd take anyday is that many people on this site would not act the way they do online compared to offline. They might secretly want to, and certainly the personality traits are there to do it; however it takes little courage do something online compared to offline.

Otherwise...a decent post...I'll give you props. ;)

A "decent" post??.........Awwww, stop..you're gonna make me blush with all that doting :rolleyes:

As far as "courage"........first of all, I will have you know that my Fisting Jokes were the HIT of the office christmas party this year and I tell them everywhere I go :ok

But yes....you make a ..........ummmm..........."decent" point there........the online courage makes it easier to attempt and get away with it.....having the chance that somewhere sometime you might actually run into this person again really would make you think a bit more about going through with it or just simply the part of taking anonymity out of the equation ........well, it's much a like a pad lock from Home Depot...the real criminals won't care, but it tends to just keep honest people honest.

[jmsmith12345]

You are forgetting to factor in what I like to call "OC" (Online courage). My bet I'd take anyday is that many people on this site would not act the way they do online compared to offline. They might secretly want to, and certainly the personality traits are there to do it; however it takes little courage do something online compared to offline.

Otherwise...a decent post...I'll give you props. ;)

Some of us are actually much nicer online. :D

[cyclops]

A "decent" post??.........Awwww, stop..you're gonna make me blush with all that doting :rolleyes:

As far as "courage"........first of all, I will have you know that my Fisting Jokes were the HIT of the office christmas party this year and I tell them everywhere I go :ok

But yes....you make a ..........ummmm..........."decent" point there........the online courage makes it easier to attempt and get away with it.....having the chance that somewhere sometime you might actually run into this person again really would make you think a bit more about going through with it or just simply the part of taking anonymity out of the equation ........well, it's much a like a pad lock from Home Depot...the real criminals won't care, but it tends to just keep honest people honest.

Does this mean I don't know the REAL YOU baby??

I'm now hurt and confused http://www.extremefunnypictures.com/comment/sad_smile.gif

[Han Solo]

Does this mean I don't know the REAL YOU baby??

I'm now hurt and confused http://www.extremefunnypictures.com/comment/sad_smile.gif
[/URL] Awwww, you know I ALWAYS mean it with you Pooky Pants!![URL="http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZNman000"]http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/8/8_8_57.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZNman000)





http://www.smileycentral.com/sig.jsp?pc=ZSzeb095&pp=ZNman000 (http://smiley.smileycentral.com/download/index.jhtml?partner=ZSzeb095_ZNman000&utm_id=7923)

[Sneaky]

Well there ya go with your broke ass spelling again........it's PRECOCIOUS that you mean, NOT Precious..........you know PRECOCIOUS as in:

Developed more than is natural or usual at a given age; exceeding what is to be expected of one's years; too forward; -- used especially of mental forwardness;

Glad I could help clear that up :nu


Therefore when answering the question of "what is love at this site", I'd describe it as 'An Enigma wrapped in an anomaly'

Oh...I"M sorry. When we are alone all Han Solo can talk about is how PRECOCIOUS he finds love. (Um......that sounds a little GAY. Just sayin'.)

[TIGUY]

Need not worry about a reunion Fox...it'll never come off...perhaps two members will show...and probably run away from each other...LMAO!

Agree with you, Lord BARKISS, Sir about courage online and offline, that many people could not act in real life, in society as they do here.

On the other hand, if we were to have a weekend reunion of M and F members, who knows what would happen? One thing for sure...we would look at one another in a different light........

[Cuticle Cutie]

ha Love.......dont get me started

[TIGUY]

??

[JoyS]

Sorry wasn't a useful post he really is just an ass!

[JoyS]

ha Love.......dont get me started


I think that was TI's intentions!

[Brink]

You are forgetting to factor in what I like to call "OC" (Online courage). My bet I'd take anyday is that many people on this site would not act the way they do online compared to offline. They might secretly want to, and certainly the personality traits are there to do it; however it takes little courage do something online compared to offline.

Otherwise...a decent post...I'll give you props. ;)

Yes, it's these thoughts and tendencies that concern me more than they probably should. Certainly, it is one of the factors that makes online love a difficult experience.

In most grounded relationships, you aspire to spend the best quality time you can together. When you establish something online - where so much is restricted - it does get you wondering...how do you know that you could cope with all the usual crap in life - actually live with the person you’ve found? The quality time you are spending together is, afterall, largely devoid of any stresses. Maybe those thoughts are not important to some, and they are something that can be cast aside, but I find myself highlighting all my negative personal habits and traits just so I know they are not being overlooked. Even though it's an online relationship, I want to picture my life could actually be with her. It is based in reality - this is somebody I want to share everything with.

However, nothing compares to actually seeing your behaviour, which is why you really have to display yourself ardently, be as open as you can be, and leave little to the imagination, whether it reflects poorly on you or not! I don’t want to be loved for a fraction of who I really am, but it is impossible to know how successful you are being at portraying yourself. You're not going to tell them all the boring, mundane bits, either. Again, it's the restrictions of the Internet. All you can do is keep on discussing it, and try to believe! You can’t hope for much over the Internet unless you can establish that belief!

[Brink]

Need not worry about a reunion Fox...it'll never come off...perhaps two members will show...and probably run away from each other...LMAO!

Yes, and imagine the number that would run off together!!!

[chubbybutcute]

wish I knew :(

[Willy S]

it is an illusion

[Willy S]

or a delusion

[Anton....]

I tend to treat people as I woud in person, but thats just who I am. I only type words that I mean, as far as love truly existing, it depends on the two people involved, yes I do think it can happen, though. Good thread, lots of great views....

[blu]

well i havent been here long at all, few months and this is the only site i belong too or have joined. i know lots of you are in others and have way more experience. it would seem to me though, that love on here is the same concept as in real life in one aspect at least. it still involves 2 people, who put themselves out there, and got connected. they left that connection grow and their feeling with it. as in real life, each either do or dont decide its love at some point in the relationship. so i think its between the 2, as deep as they wish it.

[redcat]

You're right, blu..it's up to the 2. Good post, tks.

[daisyduck]

love is like a box of chocolates you never know what your going to get.

[blu]

good point daisy, does that mean we should put our fingers in to see which is which,lol

[leggy4]

I will say that I do love someone here... But it is a great wonderful friendship built on laughter and sharing lots of stories and stuff with our kids... It is not an affair or sexual.. He is a light in my life but not an online affair... Been waiting a long time for a friend like him!!:)

[Me]

I think that there are all sorts of different kinds of love here. Some are more casual. Some are amazing friendships. Some find true love. The kind where you are willing to pack up everything and move to a different state to be with you soul mate. Sadly they don't always work out. :(

[Frenchie_lady]

I think that there are all sorts of different kinds of love here. Some are more casual. Some are amazing friendships. Some find true love. The kind where you are willing to pack up everything and move to a different state to be with you soul mate. Sadly they don't always work out. :(

Yeah, what she says!

[leggy4]

If you leave the sex out of it some great friendships are here.....

[Down to Zero]

I really "love" some avatars here .. if that counts for anything

[MiSt09]

I have heard this so many times and I'll toss this out there to let everyone comment as they please.

A man works the site and flirts sexually or non-sexually with all the women he can. A connection is made, and two members feel the excitement of flirting or perhaps one or both members have their dormant sexuality come flying out from where it's been hidden throughout their self-complacent marriage years.

Then it happens...after a few weeks or less the man says to you, "I love you!"....and after years of a loving marriage that has changed can we actually believe they are in love with us?

Over the past two years I have heard this story told by many or have seen it publicly play out here. It's usually the guy who talks stuff and has no patience at all because he can't wait to get you in bed.....and insists on meeting.

I guess my concern is how can you truly feel a man who sexually flirts with everyone who is not tied down and then some of those too...loves you? Remember...men can go from one woman to another quite easily whereas women hold the act of love far more precious than most men do...and these are my opinions from listening to their bar chatter, lockerroom chatter and workplace chatter. Sadly, some men will tell you whatever you want to hear and they know exactly when you are vulnerable...it always shows.

Why do we go from years with one partner to thinking that a few weeks without ever meeting someone is the next best thing for us?

Love me or hate me..."it is what it is," as the saying goes....

disclaimer: yes there are some true and beautiful members who have definitely fell in love here and it's very real!

Wow... good topic Ty... Here's what I think:

1. You can't single out the men... women can be just as guilty of saying
what you want to hear in order to get what they want. Not all women
are like that of course... but some are.

2. I also don't agree that you can fall in love after just a few short
weeks. But you're right Ty, you do see it... 2 people meet and
after a very short time, they feel that they are in love. I think it's
more that they are enjoying the attention that they haven't got from
their spouse in a long time... but not really love. Real love takes
longer, and I do believe it can happen... but definitely takes longer.

I dunno... just my 2 cents worth! :ok

[SirFox]

Wow... good topic Ty... Here's what I think:

1. You can't single out the men... women can be just as guilty of saying
what you want to hear in order to get what they want. Not all women
are like that of course... but some are.

2. I also don't agree that you can fall in love after just a few short
weeks. But you're right Ty, you do see it... 2 people meet and
after a very short time, they feel that they are in love. I think it's
more that they are enjoying the attention that they haven't got from
their spouse in a long time... but not really love. Real love takes
longer, and I do believe it can happen... but definitely takes longer.

I dunno... just my 2 cents worth! :ok

So it was the chicken or the egg that came first? Am not sure if I see your two points here...of course it's late over here...:sc

[MiSt09]

So it was the chicken or the egg that came first? Am not sure if I see your two points here...of course it's late over here...:sc

LOL... Not everything I say makes sense.... get used to it!! :lf

[fourisit]

I found love here. A real love and just like Jelly said sometimes its not enough.

[leighm]

MiSt09 could not have said it better. It really worries me when I hear someone say after a very short time....oh we love each other. I personally think it's bullshit. I think they just want to think they do. What happens in another 10yrs or so, is that relationship going to turn out the same as their marriage? It takes time to really know someone, you may feel you love them after a short space of time but in time you get to know all their faults and the real them and often it's not the bed of roses you first thought it was.

[gdgrlgnbd]

Grrrrrr!!! Is it ever ENOUGH?

[SirFox]

MiSt09 could not have said it better. It really worries me when I hear someone say after a very short time....oh we love each other. I personally think it's bullshit. I think they just want to think they do. What happens in another 10yrs or so, is that relationship going to turn out the same as their marriage? It takes time to really know someone, you may feel you love them after a short space of time but in time you get to know all their faults and the real them and often it's not the bed of roses you first thought it was.


I agree with you 100% Good Show LEIGH.

BTW, Good Morning or Good Afternoon?? to you in OZ!!

[Me]

Yeah, what she says!

I found love here. A real love and just like Jelly said sometimes its not enough.

STUPID "L" word!!!

[gdgrlgnbd]

MiSt09 could not have said it better. It really worries me when I hear someone say after a very short time....oh we love each other. I personally think it's bullshit. I think they just want to think they do. What happens in another 10yrs or so, is that relationship going to turn out the same as their marriage? It takes time to really know someone, you may feel you love them after a short space of time but in time you get to know all their faults and the real them and often it's not the bed of roses you first thought it was.


I agree it may not be what it seems, kind of a delusion we create in our mid to appease our needs at the time. But, bullshit may be a strong term. I don't believe it is always intentional to get carried away, I should hope at sometime we come down back to earth and realize it is what it is. Whatever that may be.

There are no easy explanations or answers. You can live with someone for years and have accepted faults and thought you did it right, everything was perfect and still not be happy.

I just think the internet has made us evolve more. I think people falling in love out of need or loneliness, has been around forever. Look at the men and women who were pen pals during wars. Those letters made the women blush and sigh with all the romantic promises and the men long for home and wiped away the emptiness.

Nothing is perfect. We just need to find the right kind of imperfection that makes us happy.

[fever]

It can be anything...at times an illusion, at times perfect, at times painfully real. This is part reality and part fantasy world. Tread lightly and live fully....

[dixiechiknga]

There's Love and then in Love two different things. I believe the online stuff is all fantasy, but if you actually meet in person and there is a connection who knows? It never hurts to dream I suppose.

[Eagleton]

There's Love and then in Love two different things. I believe the online stuff is all fantasy, but if you actually meet in person and there is a connection who knows? It never hurts to dream I suppose.


Dixie Darlin'...I could not have said it any better....my telephone number is Beachwood 45789...you can call me up any old time!

[leggy4]

well I love laughing and talking with people with a good sense of humor... so it does the trick some days

[OnceAKing]

Soooo without quoting the various posts...I hear some of you saying "real" love takes time..okay so how much time? And after it's been a "time" how do you decide it's been enough time? Additionally I see where some think that after said "time" you at some point discover the "real" person and that it's not a bed of roses...Who said real love is a bed of roses? Who said that amid all the love there's not disagreements? And perhaps just as importantly, who said "real love" lasts forever...who said "real love" always gets their love returned... It is what it is and what you make of it...

Real love can happen at first sight, it can also happen at first chat...what do you do, wait a lifetime to see if it's gonna last or if the other person is who you thought they were. Or if the other person loves you just as much as you love them...god it could go on and on. I don't care who you are or how much you think you've got a handle on it...sometimes you can't tell if the shoe is gonna fit or how it's gonna wear until you put it on and wear it...there is just no, "One size fits all".

[MCat]

Soooo without quoting the various posts...I hear some of you saying "real" love takes time..okay so how much time? And after it's been a "time" how do you decide it's been enough time? Additionally I see where some think that after said "time" you at some point discover the "real" person and that it's not a bed of roses...Who said real love is a bed of roses? Who said that amid all the love there's not disagreements? And perhaps just as importantly, who said "real love" lasts forever...who said "real love" always gets their love returned... It is what it is and what you make of it...

Real love can happen at first sight, it can also happen at first chat...what do you do, wait a lifetime to see if it's gonna last or if the other person is who you thought they were. Or if the other person loves you just as much as you love them...god it could go on and on. I don't care who you are or how much you think you've got a handle on it...sometimes you can't tell if the shoe is gonna fit or how it's gonna wear until you put it on and wear it...there is just no, "One size fits all".


Hey Cowboy....what kind of shoe am I? :sng

[OnceAKing]

Hey Cowboy....what kind of shoe am I? :sng

I'm guessin this ain't the time to bring up a penny loafer is it?

[MCat]

I'm guessin this ain't the time to bring up a penny loafer is it?


:nu:nu:nu
I should think not....and just where do you want the toe of my boot to land?

[leggy4]

The kind of love you might feel after knowing someone for a number of months online as friends is different than what you feel for someone you date and know on a in person level.. Finding a good friend(no sex) is the best treasure on m and f of all.....No jealousy because its not sexual so you can just be yourself.....

[happygirl101]

I am of the belief that Love is a four letter word!!! Just kidding I love love!!! But when used improperly like after a few weeks of flirting and maybe even mind blowing online chat I think it is as bad as a four letter word we all know!!!

[JumpingJack]

If you think you are going to find love here, then let me remind you of the words of Johnny Lee, you are "Looking for love in all the wrong places."

[OnceAKing]

If you think you are going to find love here, then let me remind you of the words of Johnny Lee, you are "Looking for love in all the wrong places."

That may be true for you JJ, but if you're trying to make a blanket decree that fits everyone then you just don't know that of which you speak...

[MCat]

If you think you are going to find love here, then let me remind you of the words of Johnny Lee, you are "Looking for love in all the wrong places."

No you have that all wrong.....
It was Buh Weet and "Wookin Pa Nub in all da wong paces"

[JumpingJack]

That may be true for you JJ, but if you're trying to make a blanket decree that fits everyone then you just don't know that of which you speak...
Dude, I would never dream of being able to make a statement that you would agree with. I'm just not that smart.

[OnceAKing]

Dude, I would never dream of being able to make a statement that you would agree with. I'm just not that smart.


At least you got that one right...

[JumpingJack]

At least you got that one right...
Or as self-rightous

[OnceAKing]

It's okay...like I have said...everyone has the right to be wrong and you're just exercising your right...

[JumpingJack]

It's okay...like I have said...everyone has the right to be wrong and you're just exercising your right...
Are you the Judge?
Your honor, may I have your permission to post my idiotic comments or should i just go to my room?

[OnceAKing]

At ease JJ...just relax all is okay...it's too early to go to bed here...

[MCat]

Are you the Judge?
Your honor, may I have your permission to post my idiotic comments or should i just go to my room?

You have my permission son....post away.

I'll take Oak to get a hot fudge sundae, he'll be back to his old self in a jiffy.

[OnceAKing]

You have my permission son....post away.

I'll take Oak to get a hot fudge sundae, he'll be back to his old self in a jiffy.



Ha...you're just wanting me to get all mellow and everything so you can do the ol finger wave thing tonight....

[stellabelle]

If you think you are going to find love here, then let me remind you of the words of Johnny Lee, you are "Looking for love in all the wrong places."

It may be the wrong place, but it is love with all the beautiful things love has and all the hurt it can have as well.

You know what they say...walk a mile in my shoes...

[fever]

Hope y'all enjoyed the pissing contest!

[Me]

Soooo without quoting the various posts...I hear some of you saying "real" love takes time..okay so how much time? And after it's been a "time" how do you decide it's been enough time? Additionally I see where some think that after said "time" you at some point discover the "real" person and that it's not a bed of roses...Who said real love is a bed of roses? Who said that amid all the love there's not disagreements? And perhaps just as importantly, who said "real love" lasts forever...who said "real love" always gets their love returned... It is what it is and what you make of it...

Real love can happen at first sight, it can also happen at first chat...what do you do, wait a lifetime to see if it's gonna last or if the other person is who you thought they were. Or if the other person loves you just as much as you love them...god it could go on and on. I don't care who you are or how much you think you've got a handle on it...sometimes you can't tell if the shoe is gonna fit or how it's gonna wear until you put it on and wear it...there is just no, "One size fits all".

True words .. and now I'm crying. Dammit Oak!!

[OnceAKing]

True words .. and now I'm crying. Dammit Oak!!

Smooches JB... :hug: :kk

[OnceAKing]

Hope y'all enjoyed the pissing contest!

Hope it didn't splatter on your new crocks there Fev... I can write my name in the snow, can you?

[fever]

Hope it didn't splatter on your new crocks there Fev... I can write my name in the snow, can you?

Don't have crocs, but I'm thinkin' I can....

[MunkyBrain]

Hope y'all enjoyed the pissing contest!

Shit..i found this one too late. Always like a good pissing contest.

Of course love is possible on a site like this. Anytime people get to interacting with each other there's a chance two of em are gonna fall for each other. And there are some very good, genuine people here underneath the avatars and goofy handles.

From there it can get a bit complicated and messy..but hell, it's not like love in the face to face world isn't complicated and messy too.

[catmom]

Soooo without quoting the various posts...I hear some of you saying "real" love takes time..okay so how much time? And after it's been a "time" how do you decide it's been enough time? Additionally I see where some think that after said "time" you at some point discover the "real" person and that it's not a bed of roses...Who said real love is a bed of roses? Who said that amid all the love there's not disagreements? And perhaps just as importantly, who said "real love" lasts forever...who said "real love" always gets their love returned... It is what it is and what you make of it...

Real love can happen at first sight, it can also happen at first chat...what do you do, wait a lifetime to see if it's gonna last or if the other person is who you thought they were. Or if the other person loves you just as much as you love them...god it could go on and on. I don't care who you are or how much you think you've got a handle on it...sometimes you can't tell if the shoe is gonna fit or how it's gonna wear until you put it on and wear it...there is just no, "One size fits all".

I didn't read this whole thread - but man I love the way this guy puts things! Right on!

[gdgrlgnbd]

It may be the wrong place, but it is love with all the beautiful things love has and all the hurt it can have as well.

You know what they say...walk a mile in my shoes...

Leave it to Stella to find a comment with the word "shoes" in it!! :ok

[gdgrlgnbd]

If we all shared opinions about love, life or anything we talk about here, would it be as interesting? Love has no boundaries or set definition. That is the beauty of it.

[Frenchie_lady]

If we all shared opinions about love, life or anything we talk about here, would it be as interesting? Love has no boundaries or set definition. That is the beauty of it.

Beautiful georgous, beautiful!

[redcat]

It's up to the people involved to decide if it's love or not. Just as you can't look at your neighbor's 'perfect marriage' and know that behind closed doors they all but beat each other's brains out....no one can look at a relationship here and tell if it's love or not based on a time frame or anything else.

Only the two involved know if it's a case of 'you're what I want' or 'you're what I've been looking for and didn't even know it'. If it works for those involved, that's what matters.

[happygirl101]

I guess ultimately you can fall in love here as well as anywhere its just more fantasy here and I still wonder if it is truly possible.......................

[Me]

I guess ultimately you can fall in love here as well as anywhere its just more fantasy here and I still wonder if it is truly possible.......................

I promise .. it's possible

[happygirl101]

I promise .. it's possible


I am counting on you being right!!!!!!!

[scoobertina]

it can happen... only you have to be careful.. not always do both parties fall in love.. and sometimes when someone does fall in love someone else comes along who is funnier, needier, prettier, smarter, whatever... but somehow.. it is just as easy to fall out of love on this... or any other.. site.. it is just like real life... and when you are public about falling in love, you are just as public when things don't work out..

[Brink]

It is as simple as this – if you don’t believe in the possibilities - if you construct barriers before you’ve even begun – it just won’t happen. Commitment and great communication can only get you so far. What makes relationships last here is a kind of indoctrination; like some sort of bizarre idol worship, but with a bona fide person!! It’s ok - it’s not meant to sound healthy! When you think about it, all of life’s indulgences inherently sound dodgy! We entrust our lives to the mechanics of aeroplanes without really understanding how they fly. They’d have thought we were nuts a century ago!

True online love is a unique, spiritual, celestial experience that you can’t ‘bring’ upon others to understand. It’s like any other deeply profound personal faith – nobody else can see it – but you know it’s there, and you revel in it. The fact it cannot be proven, or measured in some sort of accepted form, just adds to the enchantment. Nobody knows what powers are at work! But the absence of reservations and distrust allows it to gather (I’m conveniently forgetting about all the trials and tribulations!) I increased the cover on my private health insurance once the scary hallucinations started! I should have no problems getting electric shock therapy!

A proper relationship is not about this forum. It’s not about the display you could give the membership here. The community is very important, of course, but the real show has to be what happens inside your hearts; the chemistry that is within. That has nothing to do with what the posts seem to reveal. Behind the content could lay 1000 private references and symbols, delicately woven into the words. To that extent, very little true love gets laid bare here. The larking around you see doesn’t amount to anything meaningful on its own. This is just the parking lot; nobody gets access to the whole damn building! Nobody would want that! It would be excruciating for all to witness the screwy stuff that goes on in there!

Nope, this place just gives you the opportunity to sound like a right royal twit when you try to galvanise your emotions and hormones!

Every new skill from the day you were born had to be learned. Every new experience had to be lived before you really appreciated it. Don’t write off what’s plausible based on what you don’t know.

[Me]

Love is ....
Barkiss and Shawn .. a pair of rubber gloves .. and some KY

[fly]

Love is ....
Barkiss and Shawn .. a pair of rubber gloves .. and some KY


:vs::vs::vs:

[Me]

:vs::vs::vs:

oooOOOooooo I got the triple pukey guy!! Score one for Jelly!!

[Shawn]

oooOOOooooo I got the triple pukey guy!! Score one for Jelly!!

Actually .... 3 is no biggie anymore.. you need like 5 just to say that.

[Shawn]

Love is ....
Barkiss and Shawn .. a pair of rubber gloves .. and some KY

You are even more kinky than we thought.... who knew?

[Me]

You are even more kinky than we thought.... who knew?

Oh it gets better ... I'll show ya in chat next time :ok

[Shawn]

Oh it gets better ... I'll show ya in chat next time :ok


Ok, but just know its kinda hard to "feel special" when you are throwing yourself at all the guys all the time. Barky and I DO have feelings ya know

[Me]

Ok, but just know its kinda hard to "feel special" when you are throwing yourself at all the guys all the time. Barky and I DO have feelings ya know

Awww you and Barkie will always be my #1 (and #2)

[Under the radar]

:( Maybe someday, someone will find me and love me.

[leggy4]

:( Maybe someday, someone will find me and love me.

Radar, the first order of business is:::: Get rid of that skirt!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Fwd40s]

Love ???? I thought the goal here was lust.

[leggy4]

I think's about a place to go to get away and be someone else... not that we have to be complete liars or anything... Life can get stressful and making a few friends incognito isn't the worse thing is it??? making lasting relationships is more for match.com or places of this nature..... Treat it as a place for fun and laughter and don't take people so seriously!!! Took me a little while to learn that lesson, now that I have I can come here and relax a little and talk to buddies:)

[Under the radar]

Radar, the first order of business is:::: Get rid of that skirt!!!!!!!!!!!!

OHHHHHH you just want me nekid:yks. I see how you work. Whats hiding under this skirt may scare you. LOL

[leggy4]

OHHHHHH you just want me nekid:yks. I see how you work. Whats hiding under this skirt may scare you. LOL

nooo that av scares the chit out of Leggy!!!!!!

[Under the radar]

Or I could go back to my old avatar. Actually I am on the search for a new avatar. You can bet it will be another blow your socks off sexy one.

[leggy4]

Can't wait... anticipation is too much for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[wan2b]

thanks all too true

[ohreally?]

of course its possible here. But it usually ends in hurt for someone. Is it worth it? My opinion is just keep your emotions out of it. of course its about lust.

[Xanadu7]

http://i144.photobucket.com/albums/r194/fdepatie17/LoveAtFirstSight.jpg

[katydid2]

It is real as love off site
More intense, faster, heated
Deeper in feelings and knowledge
The person's desired self can be known
and
It is devasatating as real love off site
When you get get cut in the bed of thorns under the roses
And, you have to lick your wounds clean.

[bighands]

It is real as love off site
More intense, faster, heated
Deeper in feelings and knowledge
The person's desired self can be known
and
It is devasatating as real love off site
When you get get cut in the bed of thorns under the roses
And, you have to lick your wounds clean.

I am a great licker!! Choose Me!!!!

[disturbiagirl]

I was told by someone here that the average lifespan of a "relationship" on this site is 2-3 months....I take that seriously and truly believe it.

[Xanadu7]

I was told by someone here that the average lifespan of a "relationship" on this site is 2-3 months....I take that seriously and truly believe it.

Yes, but using happygirl's amplification factor, it's 2-3 years.

How many relationships does it take to make you a player?

[bighands]

err, it's when lonely people individually find ways of feeling desired so as to ease their pain, only to painfully discover it was an individual path and they had been lonely all the time?
Oh, well, and a few orgasms along the way, a huge battery bill and an average 3 new keyboards.

[laineycali]

lol.. see there IS a bright side!!!

[PunkyBob]

I've seen "love" take hold here then crash and burn...in two months and longer. Then again, I've seen love take hold and, against all odds, actually stay and grow. Kinda like "real" life. You takes yer chances here as everywhere... and why should these relationships be any less real than the ones "out there"?

[happygirl101]

They hurt as much as real life...poopoo them all you want, but we are talking pain!

[siv7]

Totally!! Nothing in life is easy..Here..It is a little bit harder...But anything worth while takes some work...

[Fwd40s]

I'll let you know when I find some

[meow meow]

i dont think there is anything wrong with telling someone that you love them. ive often wondered when is the right time to say those words. ive wondered if its even appropriate in this setting. what i have found is that there is nothing wrong with telling someone that you love them for the way they make you feel or the words they choose to express themselves. the reality is, you never really know how the other person actually feels about you. you may never meet and you may never talk again. what is important is that in that moment and time you let someone know that they are loved for what ever the reason. whats so wrong with that?

[SirFox]

i dont think there is anything wrong with telling someone that you love them. ive often wondered when is the right time to say those words. ive wondered if its even appropriate in this setting. what i have found is that there is nothing wrong with telling someone that you love them for the way they make you feel or the words they choose to express themselves. the reality is, you never really know how the other person actually feels about you. you may never meet and you may never talk again. what is important is that in that moment and time you let someone know that they are loved for what ever the reason. whats so wrong with that?

I guess my perceptions of FLIRTING is different from yours. I thought flirting existed to test the waters with a other person, not just to try to get another into bed.

I cannot see saying to you, for example, that I love you. I could flirt with you, see whether you might be interested, touch and go, and if something exists between us, then perhaps we could eventually say the "I love you."

[Conquest]

I think the feelings, or perception of feelings here can feel very real, you talk to several people at first and there is that one person that floors you and you really open up to them and vice versa, start to get to know them and both sides start to want and expect more and need more. It can get to the point where you don't act the way you normally would because you don't have that same face to face contact you would in real life to see their face when you speak to them, you can't always hear their voice and words here can take several meanings when you can't hear or see the emotion behind them. Regardless if it's real or fake it hurts just the same when it ends, and even worse when one or the other moves on easily because at the time you both thought the feelings were real, and both see clearly it wasn't. I don't think you can truly find love here or on any other site without having actual physical contact, i think your mind can trick you into thinking you have and it can make you act out of character. I think you can find great people and potential loves if you could actually be together.

[Tex55]

your response says it all

[katydid2]

It is what it is in real life. Meeting, chemistry, affection, love, truer love and then either 1) it works or 2) it fails. And, when it fails it hurts like real life love. Only how many people can you go to in your real life world and say I was madly in love with this great man on line for 3 months and it's over...and get the hugs, holdings and compassion you need.

[Musing64]

Unless you meet in person, if it's ENTIRELY online, then it's the TRAPPINGS of love but not the real deal...

[leggy4]

Spoken straight from the pulpit.. or the altar...

[Musing64]

Spoken straight from the pulpit.. or the altar...


Get thee behind me Leggy...LOL!

[leggy4]

musing, amscray..

[Musing64]

Awww Leggy...

Why ya gotta be so cold?

[Fwd40s]

Love requires more...like pictures, emails, video, cell phone calls and text messages.

Ok, now for my real honest thought on the subject. Love is what you make it and nothing more and nothing less. Feelings can be genuine but they can also be faked.
But anything is possible, so have fun.

[meow meow]

I guess my perceptions of FLIRTING is different from yours. I thought flirting existed to test the waters with a other person, not just to try to get another into bed.

I cannot see saying to you, for example, that I love you. I could flirt with you, see whether you might be interested, touch and go, and if something exists between us, then perhaps we could eventually say the "I love you."

you totally misunderstood what i was saying sir.

[SirFox]

you totally misunderstood what i was saying sir.

Really? Totally? :sc

[Curiousoneonly]

I think the feelings, or perception of feelings here can feel very real, you talk to several people at first and there is that one person that floors you and you really open up to them and vice versa, start to get to know them and both sides start to want and expect more and need more. It can get to the point where you don't act the way you normally would because you don't have that same face to face contact you would in real life to see their face when you speak to them, Regardless if it's real or fake it hurts just the same when it ends, and even worse when one or the other moves on easily because at the time you both thought the feelings were real, and both see clearly it wasn't. I don't think you can truly find love here or on any other site without having actual physical contact, i think your mind can trick you into thinking you have and it can make you act out of character. I think you can find great people and potential loves if you could actually be together.


I agree with what you have said, but can it truly be fake? Or is it just infatuation which can be very real. :sg

[scoobertina]

I think the feelings, or perception of feelings here can feel very real, you talk to several people at first and there is that one person that floors you and you really open up to them and vice versa, start to get to know them and both sides start to want and expect more and need more. It can get to the point where you don't act the way you normally would because you don't have that same face to face contact you would in real life to see their face when you speak to them, you can't always hear their voice and words here can take several meanings when you can't hear or see the emotion behind them. Regardless if it's real or fake it hurts just the same when it ends, and even worse when one or the other moves on easily because at the time you both thought the feelings were real, and both see clearly it wasn't. I don't think you can truly find love here or on any other site without having actual physical contact, i think your mind can trick you into thinking you have and it can make you act out of character. I think you can find great people and potential loves if you could actually be together.


this is the only line I disagree with here... I have seen a love affair that has lasted for a very long time and they have not yet met in person... and I had one.. while we couldn't make it work because I respected his wishes to not meet him so he could remain faithful to his family... I LOVED him like no other... it CAN happen without meeting...

but meeting in person can complete it... once you meet and you know for sure that what you have is for real... then you are truly lucky... it just isn't possible for everyone to meet... and why not have a purely online affair if that is all you can have? I think it just means you still have to work hard on it.. for in real life you can feel that you are madly in love with someone and figure out after the initial lust wears off that it was nothing more than that....

[tadpole]

I think the feelings, or perception of feelings here can feel very real, you talk to several people at first and there is that one person that floors you and you really open up to them and vice versa, start to get to know them and both sides start to want and expect more and need more. It can get to the point where you don't act the way you normally would because you don't have that same face to face contact you would in real life to see their face when you speak to them, you can't always hear their voice and words here can take several meanings when you can't hear or see the emotion behind them. Regardless if it's real or fake it hurts just the same when it ends, and even worse when one or the other moves on easily because at the time you both thought the feelings were real, and both see clearly it wasn't. I don't think you can truly find love here or on any other site without having actual physical contact, i think your mind can trick you into thinking you have and it can make you act out of character. I think you can find great people and potential loves if you could actually be together.


Wow.........that's all i can say right now.

[happygirl101]

What is love here at the Site?

Crush by Elimination...

Pick 3-5 people persue them and whoever is left standing you pick...

was that cynical? :lmao

[Waltert]

What is love here at the Site?

Crush by Elimination...

Pick 3-5 people persue them and whoever is left standing you pick...

was that cynical? :lmao

what if they all run too fast and you can not catch up to see who is still standing!

[trp225]

I dont know yet,but Ill let you know when I find out!

[NYYlvr]

What is love here at the Site?

Crush by Elimination...

Pick 3-5 people persue them and whoever is left standing you pick...

was that cynical? :lmao


Crush by elimination....interesting hunny, can you explain?

[Musing64]

You've been voted off crush island, three contenders remain...

...it ain't rocket science.

[happygirl101]

Crush by elimination....interesting hunny, can you explain?

I started a thread!!! :lmao

[NYYlvr]

I started a thread!!! :lmao


Thanks hun, you know I need explainations for stuff like this

[exbroker1791]

It's not just men...there are many women "players" here too.

Excellent question....and although I feel there are many that will say anything to get another to succumb to their wishes; I feel the majority here actually believe what they say, when they say "I love you". However, I also feel what they are confusing "love" with what is actually lust. Not lust necessarily in the sexual basis, but lust for attention, lust for companionship, lust for approval, and yes, lust for sexual activities. In my opinion, lust is easy...very easy...and love is difficult, very difficult.

I also feel, and this is well documented on the site, that the word "love" is overused to the point of losing its meaning, specifically in online relationships. I remember when there was a time that telling someone that you loved them was the step right before engagement. Am I to believe there are that many people on this site and online in general who are that close to marriage?, or does it have more to do with the lack of control of an online relationship in an offline world?

I find this very interesting. I am here because I want a connection, but I believe that it all has the potential to be a huge fiction. Any of us could present ourselves in any way we wanted to, honest or not. A place like this is a perfect forum who wants to practice their manipulative skills.

That being said, I am hopeful that something positive will come of this and I will not be using the aforementioned four letter word any time soon if I can help it. Who knows? Maybe I won't be able to.:wa:

[scoobertina]

you win some... you lose some..

it is a game to some.. and very real to others...

most come here not expecting to connect... to find someone that they care very much for.. and then they do find them.. sometimes it lasts... and sometimes it doesn't.. what do we really want? an affair? emotional or physical? I dont think anyone here really knows that answer to any of this.. we only hope to find that missing piece.. and many times we use this as an escape.. too often it becomes reality for some.. and they can't control their emotions...

again.. sometimes we find it.. sometimes we don't..

[exbroker1791]

Did you find it scoob (if its not too personal of a question)?

[bryonboru]

you win some... you lose some..

it is a game to some.. and very real to others...

most come here not expecting to connect... to find someone that they care very much for.. and then they do find them.. sometimes it lasts... and sometimes it doesn't.. what do we really want? an affair? emotional or physical? I dont think anyone here really knows that answer to any of this.. we only hope to find that missing piece.. and many times we use this as an escape.. too often it becomes reality for some.. and they can't control their emotions...

again.. sometimes we find it.. sometimes we don't..


You said it girl friend..

[neil48]

it's about a one or two month match

[SirFox]

it's about a one or two month match

You are being kind: you mean 2 to 4 week match....

[katydid2]

I've had both experiences. The one described where the word love (or something like it) is thrown out right away and I get caught up in the excitement of it. The men aren't really pushing for a meeting though. There is usually cyber, rarely phone, but no actual arrangements for a meeting. I don't know why they throw that word around. It seems that they are already getting all they can get from me online. Perhaps they too are infatuated/bored and thrive on the excitement of being in "love"? Maybe as a species and not just gender specific, we are designed to mate and love with one another if attraction is there. And, now we've got online attraction to contend with.

That being said, I am currently experiencing a relationship that I believe is grounded in true love. It hasn't been years, only months, but this man treats me with the most respect and love I've ever experienced. We mostly communicate by phone (is that one difference?). Hours and hours each week. He is generous--with his time, things and energy. And, I was so lucky in that I met him this last weekend. And, he is as genuine in real life as he is online/on phone/long distance. We both are crazy in love with each other.

Will it last? Who knows. If you'd asked me 10 years ago, if I'd be contemplating divorce now, I would have called you insane. Things change, people change.

I think relationships online as in real life can work. Essential though is honesty about what you truly want (if you just want to meet her to have sex--say that) and who you are (both people have to do this).

I probably would have a much shorter opinion if i hadn't just experienced it in real life!

[Curiousoneonly]

Things change, people change.

I think relationships online as in real life can work. Essential though is honesty about what you truly want (if you just want to meet her/him to have sex--say that) and who you are (both people have to do this).



Life changes, no doubt.

I believe any relationship requires work. Maybe an online relationship requires more effort.

Honesty is the best policy. If one is not honest about what it is they want or expect, they surely will be disappointed.

I still haven't a clue as to what love is on this site. I do think "love" is a term that is loosely used. But then again I see people who are "in love." I have also seen the hurt it can cause. :(

[scoobertina]

Did you find it scoob (if its not too personal of a question)?

I have.. and I lost it.. not once... not twice.. but 3 times.. and each time it gets harder..

the first one.. was a dream.. not reality for either of us.. we were better off as friends.. number 2... sigh.. he will always be in my heart.. and number 3.. well.. I don't know yet.. perhaps he will be back.. perhaps.. he decided not to come back..

so I am a loser.. 3 strikes.. I am out...

[SirFox]

I've had both experiences. The one described where the word love (or something like it) is thrown out right away and I get caught up in the excitement of it. The men aren't really pushing for a meeting though. There is usually cyber, rarely phone, but no actual arrangements for a meeting. I don't know why they throw that word around. It seems that they are already getting all they can get from me online. Perhaps they too are infatuated/bored and thrive on the excitement of being in "love"? Maybe as a species and not just gender specific, we are designed to mate and love with one another if attraction is there. And, now we've got online attraction to contend with.

That being said, I am currently experiencing a relationship that I believe is grounded in true love. It hasn't been years, only months, but this man treats me with the most respect and love I've ever experienced. We mostly communicate by phone (is that one difference?). Hours and hours each week. He is generous--with his time, things and energy. And, I was so lucky in that I met him this last weekend. And, he is as genuine in real life as he is online/on phone/long distance. We both are crazy in love with each other.

Will it last? Who knows. If you'd asked me 10 years ago, if I'd be contemplating divorce now, I would have called you insane. Things change, people change.

I think relationships online as in real life can work. Essential though is honesty about what you truly want (if you just want to meet her to have sex--say that) and who you are (both people have to do this).

I probably would have a much shorter opinion if i hadn't just experienced it in real life!

I am not sure that I understand your post KATY. Let me ask you a question...did you meet him last weekend or a few months ago? I am confused.....
and I wonder if you like so many are not in love with love instead...

[Cadence]

There are people who have come into my life over the years that my heart reacts to as if they are old friends. Sometimes I see them or talk to them far too rarely, but we can always pick up where we left off as if it were yesterday, and if they are the ones for whom I would drop anything if they needed help. I know that they feel the same way. I love them.
It's happened a time or two that I met someone on line and had my heart react the same way. It's a little disconcerting to have that feeling filtered through a computer screen, though! Throw in a little lust and I think the mix might be hard to dismiss.

[katydid2]

I am not sure that I understand your post KATY. Let me ask you a question...did you meet him last weekend or a few months ago? I am confused.....
and I wonder if you like so many are not in love with love instead...

Confusing? Me? You're joking of course. :)

I have had a relationship with him since August. We met this last weekend (late XMas present). It was incredible. Like nothing I've ever experienced

Am I in love with love? I've certainly met my share of guys on this site who have "loved me". I never reciprocated those feelings with my whole heart.

With M., he has my heart and I hold his. I LOVE him and I know he loves me back. This weekend just affirmed what I already know...we love each other immensely.

Not in love with love, in love with HIM.:inlve

[Curiousoneonly]

Confusing? Me? You're joking of course. :)

I have had a relationship with him since August. We met this last weekend (late XMas present). It was incredible. Like nothing I've ever experienced

Am I in love with love? I've certainly met my share of guys on this site who have "loved me". I never reciprocated those feelings with my whole heart.

With M., he has my heart and I hold his. I LOVE him and I know he loves me back. This weekend just affirmed what I already know...we love each other immensely.

Not in love with love, in love with HIM.:inlve

Katy, what you two share is an exception to the rule.

[Fwd40s]

I'll let you know when (or if) I find it here. I'm not looking for it so I'm ok that I haven't found it but I haven't rejected the idea either.

[chubbybutcute]

I'll let you know when (or if) I find it here. I'm not looking for it so I'm ok that I haven't found it but I haven't rejected the idea either.

ditto

[happygirl101]

I think that L*O*V*E is elusive and hard to find although I do believe some have found it.
Just because its online doesnt mean its not love. What I think happenes is you meet and fall in infatuation and lust and do the high school thing and most don't make it past there...if you make past there I believe a friendship grows...or if you are really lucky that friendship is what started the lust! Either way you have a shot at it if you can tolerate the boundaries and limitations an online affair brings. Most can't tolerate those boundaries. You might be able to for 6 months or maybe even a year but then something will have to give and reevaluations occur and usually endings.

For those few who manage to stay beyond that and have more and maybe even a life together well you are like Kiplinger's list of top American earners.

Only 1% of American earners make more than $400,096.00. That would be you!

Its not rocket science peeps its chemistry either you have it or dont and then I think its personaltiy. Do the two people involved have the sticktuitiveness (as Erin Brokovich would say) to make it. Its a unique combination of factors that have to come together to overcome the online dilemmas!

Hey just my two cents...

[Fwd40s]

I think that L*O*V*E is elusive and hard to find although I do believe some have found it.
Just because its online doesnt mean its not love. What I think happenes is you meet and fall in infatuation and lust and do the high school thing and most don't make it past there...if you make past there I believe a friendship grows...or if you are really lucky that friendship is what started the lust! Either way you have a shot at it if you can tolerate the boundaries and limitations an online affair brings. Most can't tolerate those boundaries. You might be able to for 6 months or maybe even a year but then something will have to give and reevaluations occur and usually endings.

For those few who manage to stay beyond that and have more and maybe even a life together well you are like Kiplinger's list of top American earners.

Only 1% of American earners make more than $400,096.00. That would be you!

Its not rocket science peeps its chemistry either you have it or dont and then I think its personaltiy. Do the two people involved have the sticktuitiveness (as Erin Brokovich would say) to make it. Its a unique combination of factors that have to come together to overcome the online dilemmas!

Hey just my two cents...

I guess I'm now 2 cents closer to that 1%. :) Or is it you that is 2 cents closer ??? :sc

[Curiousoneonly]

I think that L*O*V*E is elusive and hard to find although I do believe some have found it.
Just because its online doesnt mean its not love. What I think happenes is you meet and fall in infatuation and lust and do the high school thing and most don't make it past there...if you make past there I believe a friendship grows...or if you are really lucky that friendship is what started the lust! Either way you have a shot at it if you can tolerate the boundaries and limitations an online affair brings. Most can't tolerate those boundaries. You might be able to for 6 months or maybe even a year but then something will have to give and reevaluations occur and usually endings.

For those few who manage to stay beyond that and have more and maybe even a life together well you are like Kiplinger's list of top American earners.

Only 1% of American earners make more than $400,096.00. That would be you!

Its not rocket science peeps its chemistry either you have it or dont and then I think its personaltiy. Do the two people involved have the sticktuitiveness (as Erin Brokovich would say) to make it. Its a unique combination of factors that have to come together to overcome the online dilemmas!

Hey just my two cents...

OMG, Happy, it makes perfect sense. :wy

Here's a quarter. :na

[learman3]

Love is the same here as it is anywhere else. Where was everyone before they came here. At some point in there real life struggling to deal with love. The only difference here and in real life is that it is so much easier to say things or to lead someone one. You can make connections with people so much quicker. Not having to face someone you are more apt to say things you wouldn't in real life.

[MomentOfPassion]

To some degree, I'm not sure I can adequately define love here or anywhere else (not to mention "love" is unique to each of us). I agree with Happy that it is about chemistry and NOT about some universal recipe. That chemistry can happen online as much as it can in RL - and each poses its own set of challenges. I also agree with Katy that the word itself is flung around way too easily! Knowing yourself first is, I think, the key (way easier said than done).

Just as confused at 47 as I was at 17!

[SirFox]

There are people who have come into my life over the years that my heart reacts to as if they are old friends. Sometimes I see them or talk to them far too rarely, but we can always pick up where we left off as if it were yesterday, and if they are the ones for whom I would drop anything if they needed help. I know that they feel the same way. I love them.
It's happened a time or two that I met someone on line and had my heart react the same way. It's a little disconcerting to have that feeling filtered through a computer screen, though! Throw in a little lust and I think the mix might be hard to dismiss.

I know the feeling....:wy

[SirFox]

Confusing? Me? You're joking of course. :)

I have had a relationship with him since August. We met this last weekend (late XMas present). It was incredible. Like nothing I've ever experienced

Am I in love with love? I've certainly met my share of guys on this site who have "loved me". I never reciprocated those feelings with my whole heart.

With M., he has my heart and I hold his. I LOVE him and I know he loves me back. This weekend just affirmed what I already know...we love each other immensely.

Not in love with love, in love with HIM.:inlve

I wish you both the best.
Time will decide.

[ravishingrickrude]

laineycali[/FONT];1386672]lol i tried to type my response twice but the site
keeps locking up on me

i just think it is what it is and women are not such a victim all the time..we know what we r getting into ..... and i dont think men are always so bad even if they are doing what ever just to get into her pants women like having their pants gotten into too!..
far as giving up on an old love and falling in love on here in a week or so..well..if its dead at home ..thinks like this site and online life is able to turn ur head...its not easy keeping the home life as fun and exciting...and we all forget the fancy of online life...

couurse this just my opinion..based on some real life stuff..but ..just my opinion...
i agree 100%