Things to do at the Grocery

[spare_change]

Here's a list of fourteen things a man can do at the supermarket while his wife/gf/partner/female friend/mother is taking her time:

01. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in people's trolleys when they aren't looking.

02. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.

03. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the ladies toilet.

04. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone: 'Code 3 in Housewares... and see what happens.

05. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on credit.

06. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

07. Set-up a tent in the Camping Department and tell other shoppers you are sleeping over and invite them in if they bring pillows from the Bedding Department.

08. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask: "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

09. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.

10. While handling large knives in the Kitchen Dept, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are located.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously, while loudly humming the theme from Mission Impossible.

12. Hide in a clothing rack . . . and when people browse through, say: "PICK ME!!! PICK ME!!!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, hit the floor and assume the fetal position and scream "NO!...It's those voices again!!!"

And last but not least:

14. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while... then yell loudly: "There's no toilet paper in here!"

[italian_princess0420]

sounds like fun...i wonder how many people tried it?



I like the one where u hide in the clothes and yell "pick me pick me", sounds like something i would do.

[tiger50]

no farkin shoppin fa me, not gettin dragged round like a turd onna string... no way, not this little black duck... :nu :nu

[Norfolkdave]

Oh darling, its great fun, you want to try it...( shopping that is) the string idea is a must, one puts it rounds ones dick, and leaves it hanging out and when a lady sees the string shes inqisitive, and she gets a real eye opener when she pulls it.

[tiger50]

Oh darling, its great fun, you want to try it...( shopping that is) the string idea is a must, one puts it rounds ones dick, and leaves it hanging out and when a lady sees the string shes inqisitive, and she gets a real eye opener when she pulls it.

u callin me darlin??? mate, gunna avta farkin belt ya.... :nu :nu

[Norfolkdave]

Oh darling please do so, need a bit of rough....heh heh heh

[tiger50]

Oh darling please do so, need a bit of rough....heh heh heh

u want ruff??? mmm well ere a handfull of gravel up tha arse.... :whee: :lmao

[Norfolkdave]

Oh mmmm oh mmmm it clears the valley just lovely, oooo tiger you are so masterful:55

[tiger50]

Oh mmmm oh mmmm it clears the valley just lovely, oooo tiger you are so masterful:55

cut it out ya wanker. ya freakin me out.... :whee: :lmao

[Sandy]

spare those are great. :lmao

[Norfolkdave]

cut it out ya wanker. ya freakin me out.... :whee: :lmao

Well stop shoving the grit up my rear passage of fruitality, oooo I said stop, its cured the itch sweetie:D

[spjimbo]

Here's a list of fourteen things a man can do at the supermarket while his wife/gf/partner/female friend/mother is taking her time:

01. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in people's trolleys when they aren't looking.

02. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.

03. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the ladies toilet.

04. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone: 'Code 3 in Housewares... and see what happens.

05. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on credit.

06. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

07. Set-up a tent in the Camping Department and tell other shoppers you are sleeping over and invite them in if they bring pillows from the Bedding Department.

08. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask: "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

09. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.

10. While handling large knives in the Kitchen Dept, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are located.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously, while loudly humming the theme from Mission Impossible.

12. Hide in a clothing rack . . . and when people browse through, say: "PICK ME!!! PICK ME!!!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, hit the floor and assume the fetal position and scream "NO!...It's those voices again!!!"

And last but not least:

14. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while... then yell loudly: "There's no toilet paper in here!"


I don't care who you are, that right there is funny.

:lmao

[Jy]

LOL!! Those are great Spare! Sad to say, but grocery shopping is one of my favourite chores. I love wandering the aisles, planning the meals for the week, and flirting with any cuties that I see!

[Waltert]

LOL!! Those are great Spare! Sad to say, but grocery shopping is one of my favourite chores. I love wandering the aisles, planning the meals for the week, and flirting with any cuties that I see!

Well then I will add one to his list

Go shopping where Jazzy goes and flirt back!

[cuddles]

spare your to good:lmao :lmao

[RedVixen]

Here's a list of fourteen things a man can do at the supermarket while his wife/gf/partner/female friend/mother is taking her time:

01. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in people's trolleys when they aren't looking.

02. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.

03. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the ladies toilet.

04. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone: 'Code 3 in Housewares... and see what happens.

05. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on credit.

06. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

07. Set-up a tent in the Camping Department and tell other shoppers you are sleeping over and invite them in if they bring pillows from the Bedding Department.

08. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask: "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

09. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.

10. While handling large knives in the Kitchen Dept, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are located.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously, while loudly humming the theme from Mission Impossible.

12. Hide in a clothing rack . . . and when people browse through, say: "PICK ME!!! PICK ME!!!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, hit the floor and assume the fetal position and scream "NO!...It's those voices again!!!"

And last but not least:

14. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while... then yell loudly: "There's no toilet paper in here!"

:lmao I had to pull this one out of the threads...as it is quite the great laugh...well done.
:lmao

My sides are still sore from laughing so hard!!!

[hoss]

Grocery Shopping ??....what is this thing u speak of ....
hang on ...MOMMA !!!!!....

oh it is ...ahhhhhhhhhhhh..so thats where the food comes from ...

I'll have to go sometime .....

[UltimateNaneki]

Well spare....you are the funny one.:lmao Though I would split my pants or pee in them....:lmao

[PunkyBob]

That was hilarious! Good one, Spare!

[OICurready4me]

Excellent Spare, just plain hilarious!

[Sandyboots]

Those rock! Seriously, has anyone tried them?

[dartgirl]

I have never seen those before, very funny. I think there must be a reason that I prefer to go shopping alone.

[GaMan]

I enjoy going to the store to check out all the hot ladies! Don't mind going at all..

[wall-flower]

The last my fave.....I had to take a pee break due to the laughing

[Sweetdreams069]

Pretty funny stuff!

Something about the grocery store does turn me on. Must be all the women there. :rolleyes:

[Madison-Mike]

:lmao Excellent choice Spare. Can't come up with another one that even comes close.:lmao

[Phlirt]

I personally love this one:

11. Dart around the store suspiciously, while loudly humming the theme from Mission Impossible.