Singeon
03-14-2009, 04:33 AM
The M&F Sex survey
Rather than start 100 threads on the same subject….I thought I’d put our questions into one…
Rules of engagement…
1)…you can lie through your teeth…and we will know.
2)…taking your teeth out first won’t alter the results…
3)…this is not about results…Despite your attitude to sex in general….
4)…just like sex…there are no rules….
The fact you are here, taking this survey reveals to us that you probably -haven’t had sex in a month of Sundays. To participate in this survey you must have had SOME kind of sex within living memory….Photo evidence will be considered if submitted.
1) Have you had sex within the last six months?
2) Did it involve a partner?-of a human kind-(the mechanical helper section is further on…)
3) Did it last as long as…?
a. A slow Sunday roast…?
b. Grilling a T bone Steak…?
c. Boiling an egg…?
d. Licking a postage stamp?
4) Did you suffer any injuries?
5) if not, were you trying hard enough?
6) Did the phone ring during the session? If so, whose end was it at?
7) Did your partner answer it?
8) Did you answer it?
9) Did the conversation last longer than your partner?
10) Did it make any difference to your partner’s performance?
11) Was it the help line calling back with tips and suggestions?
12) Did you make it a video/ conference call?
13) Were they of any use?
14) If so, may we have the number?
15) Was it good enough sex to create a wet spot?
16) Was it so bad you made your partner sleep on it anyway out of spite?
17) Who grabbed the Eiderdown first?
18) Did the Neighbors get disturbed?
19) Did you invite the neighbors?
20) Did George from next door bring his “Toolkit”?
21) Is any of the stuff in Georges “Toolkit” legal in the state you reside in?
22) Was any part of this fantasy of yours legal at all?
(Sorry…we believe you…honestly…please continue)
23) Did the session involve food?
24) Did the session involve ways of preserving food…such as ice or wax?
25) Did the Dry Cleaners ask very many awkward questions?
26) Was anyone airlifted to hospital with 3rd degree burns, frost bite or food poisoning?
27) Was the food used approved by the Food and Drugs Administration?
28) Could you have donated it to the local homeless shelter afterwards?
29) What on earth did you do to it?
30) Have you considered that your weight problems and your sex life may be connected?
31) Does Jenny Craig or Weight Watchers cater for your needs in this regard?
32) Are you too embarrassed to enquire?
33) Are you afraid of being arrested /Legal action if you do?
34) Did you make a video of your last …session?
35) Did you take the lens cap off?
36) Did you or your partner wear a “lens cap”?
37) Are the ribbed ones any good?
38) Are the “Lens caps” in your wallet/ purse so old, they came with a patch repair/vulcanizing kit?
39) Did you dub the sound on later to cover the complaining?
40) Was it so poor it required a voiceover? Did the voiceover guy laugh a lot?
41) Was a Film crew used?
42) Did they take a break at all?
43) Did they take a break after the 15th take?
44) Did they take a break during the third take?
45) Did they call the union and complain during the first take?
46) Was the thumping sound in the background-?
a. The neighbors trying to get in?
b. The neighbors trying to get out?
c. The Neighbors doing their own thing in the next room?
47) Were you angry when the Film Crew followed the Neighbors into the next room?
48) Did you demand payments to cover cleaning, veterinary and labour costs?
49) Did you post Georges “toolkit” on EBay to cover costs?
50) Is the auction still going? How much do we need … ?
Rather than start 100 threads on the same subject….I thought I’d put our questions into one…
Rules of engagement…
1)…you can lie through your teeth…and we will know.
2)…taking your teeth out first won’t alter the results…
3)…this is not about results…Despite your attitude to sex in general….
4)…just like sex…there are no rules….
The fact you are here, taking this survey reveals to us that you probably -haven’t had sex in a month of Sundays. To participate in this survey you must have had SOME kind of sex within living memory….Photo evidence will be considered if submitted.
1) Have you had sex within the last six months?
2) Did it involve a partner?-of a human kind-(the mechanical helper section is further on…)
3) Did it last as long as…?
a. A slow Sunday roast…?
b. Grilling a T bone Steak…?
c. Boiling an egg…?
d. Licking a postage stamp?
4) Did you suffer any injuries?
5) if not, were you trying hard enough?
6) Did the phone ring during the session? If so, whose end was it at?
7) Did your partner answer it?
8) Did you answer it?
9) Did the conversation last longer than your partner?
10) Did it make any difference to your partner’s performance?
11) Was it the help line calling back with tips and suggestions?
12) Did you make it a video/ conference call?
13) Were they of any use?
14) If so, may we have the number?
15) Was it good enough sex to create a wet spot?
16) Was it so bad you made your partner sleep on it anyway out of spite?
17) Who grabbed the Eiderdown first?
18) Did the Neighbors get disturbed?
19) Did you invite the neighbors?
20) Did George from next door bring his “Toolkit”?
21) Is any of the stuff in Georges “Toolkit” legal in the state you reside in?
22) Was any part of this fantasy of yours legal at all?
(Sorry…we believe you…honestly…please continue)
23) Did the session involve food?
24) Did the session involve ways of preserving food…such as ice or wax?
25) Did the Dry Cleaners ask very many awkward questions?
26) Was anyone airlifted to hospital with 3rd degree burns, frost bite or food poisoning?
27) Was the food used approved by the Food and Drugs Administration?
28) Could you have donated it to the local homeless shelter afterwards?
29) What on earth did you do to it?
30) Have you considered that your weight problems and your sex life may be connected?
31) Does Jenny Craig or Weight Watchers cater for your needs in this regard?
32) Are you too embarrassed to enquire?
33) Are you afraid of being arrested /Legal action if you do?
34) Did you make a video of your last …session?
35) Did you take the lens cap off?
36) Did you or your partner wear a “lens cap”?
37) Are the ribbed ones any good?
38) Are the “Lens caps” in your wallet/ purse so old, they came with a patch repair/vulcanizing kit?
39) Did you dub the sound on later to cover the complaining?
40) Was it so poor it required a voiceover? Did the voiceover guy laugh a lot?
41) Was a Film crew used?
42) Did they take a break at all?
43) Did they take a break after the 15th take?
44) Did they take a break during the third take?
45) Did they call the union and complain during the first take?
46) Was the thumping sound in the background-?
a. The neighbors trying to get in?
b. The neighbors trying to get out?
c. The Neighbors doing their own thing in the next room?
47) Were you angry when the Film Crew followed the Neighbors into the next room?
48) Did you demand payments to cover cleaning, veterinary and labour costs?
49) Did you post Georges “toolkit” on EBay to cover costs?
50) Is the auction still going? How much do we need … ?