wifes online "friends"

[TeamZen]

well forgive me, my first post about this subject on any type of forum , for many years i have let my wife have an assortment of :friends:online. at first they were all conected to a game we were both playing at the time, but that soon changed to her so call spirtial studies. i was hesitat to say the least to let her have so many Male friends but she assured me that she loved me and of course they :gasp: were only friends. well duuuh found out then she was getting aueful frendly with one in particular, and OMG, I had snooped on her private IM's ya well, thank god, she had developed ummm very strong feeling for this ass. TO this frigin day mind you, years later, soo the only reason i had found out was a keystroke hack.. make me swear i wouldnt do it again, but i have found recent phone calls to a new guy in TX, thats on the buddy list, ONLY while shes at work mind you. and she is constantly in one chat room if not on Icq, MSN and yahoo at the same time

my main question is, what is trust? i have sworn not to use another keysroke hack, or anything like that, but how in gods name can she expect me to blindly trust all that she does, is the past relevant?

I honestly want a friend of my own to talk to, and to help me thru all this crap she is passing on to me. its always my frigin fault, she has no local friends,? am i a leper? her online lady friends dont call her on her cell phone on her work breaks only her male friends.

we have been married 21 yrs, and at every bump in the road, it always comes out. well if YOU cant do this then im gone.. guess what.. kids are gone babe, dont let that door hit ya in the ass ,im done.

so i guess what im actually saying is, id like a friend, pen pal, hopefully in the TN area, i just need an understanding sholder to whine and maybe cry on. or just to rant and rave :) and if i get lucky she wil leave me for her current internet stud sooner than i could hope for. by that time i personally would like to find my real soul mate or just a damn good friend.. thats all a man can trully ask for


if not respond and give me your coments good or bad...

[Sandy]

well hi team welcome to the site. you can come here and post and make some great friends. i have, and this great group of people help me out alot, we're all here for each other, to laugh, cut-up bitch, cry moan. and to have fun, so join us. jump right on in here. you won't regret it. :wa:

[gnikeht]

Welcome TeamZen...you'll enjoy it here...

[G...G]

Gosh...... I thought that was my husband writitng that for a minute there.......

You will find a great many friends here if you stay and keep posting. Somedays, I wonder how I lived without this place!!

Good luck!!!

[Aubree]

1

[Norfolkdave]

Hello my friend welcome to this great site, hope you find what your looking for

[Shiane]

Zen, Sorry for your situation, I know it sucks. I don't know if she is not happy, from your post I gather you've had enough. I do know that you can have friends online, and thats all they are is friends, but it's real easy to start talking to someone and become attracted to that person. Can't say why she is hiding it from you, maybe she knows how you will react and she is avoiding confrontation or maybe theres a relationship she is hiding. I would say this something you need to figure out and deal with.

[sweet]

Welcome to the site Team. Anytime you feel the need to vent, cry, laugh, or just talk about anything, feel free to do so here. There's so many great people here and I'm sure you'll make many good friends as I have.So glad to have you with us. I hope you'll stick around for awhile :wa:

[sweetgapeach]

I really dont know what to say . You could be my Hubby saying the same . Online "Friends" , Wow I truly am speechless. I hope it all works out for you .

[Penny]

Welcome to the site I hope you can make your own friends here :kk

[spare_change]

my main question is, what is trust? i have sworn not to use another keysroke hack, or anything like that, but how in gods name can she expect me to blindly trust all that she does, is the past relevant?

if not respond and give me your coments good or bad...

Team -- welcome aboard. I hope you find what you are looking for -- I suspect you picked the right place.

But, I want to talk about what you asked. There appears to be no question that your wife has violated the trust between you. I would suggest, however, that you are no less guilty. Keystroke hacks, reading her private IMs, checking her cell phone logs - none of these actions indicate any level of trust by either of you. Given what you have done, how can you expect her to blindly trust all that you have done? Most assuredly, the past is relevant -- but equally relevant for both of you.

You and your wife can't go back to the way it was -- it just doesn't work that way. But, you can, if you wish, sit down and discuss the issues, identify the problems, and work on them.

Been there, didn't do that -- and I pay the price every day. I wish you luck, but mostly I wish you peace.

[rhapsodyinblueberry]

You're 45...maybe it's time to get a little more sexually adventurous? She's obviously curious about other people...are you too? If you love her still, maybe instead of parting separate ways with all the ugliness that entails, you can explore this together. Either way talking seems the best solution.

I say this, you're 45 and I'm 27 what do I know? My wife would never go for that =) but if you're ready to give up anyways...seems like a fun thing to do. I know if my wife got curious I'd jump all over that opportunity for fun together. That way you don't have to deal with that whole guilty conscience that plagues curious married people...

[Jackrabbit]

Hi Team,

I just found this site a few days ago and posted about my situation. I know that it takes a bit of courage to lay it out like you did. Your situation reminds me of mine in some ways. Being married for 20+ years and raising two kids is something that few couples survive anymore. What I am realizing is that somewhere along the way one or both partners forget that relationships take real work.

My advice to you is to tell her exactly how you are feeling and ask her to tell you the same. Be prepared that it might go either way but at least then you will know that you did the right thing. I don't know about you but I think I might live to personally regret it if I walked away from a 20 year marriage without doing all I could to try and get it back. After that if you have to quit at least you know it wasn't because you didn't give it your best.

[Zifnab]

I just wonder if she happens to be anybody I know....if she is, don't worry cause I am all talk not a chance for action!!:wa:

[Aubree]

=Zifnab]I just wonder if she happens to be anybody I know....if she is, don't worry cause I am all talk not a chance for action!!:wa:[/QUOTE]

smirk, smile, grunt, snort, giggle, laugh - wet my pants

[Zifnab]

=Zifnab]I just wonder if she happens to be anybody I know....if she is, don't worry cause I am all talk not a chance for action!!:wa:

smirk, smile, grunt, snort, giggle, laugh - wet my pants[/QUOTE]so we HAVE met before!!!

[Frank_2525]

She has her online friends, even caught her cyber chatting a couple of times. Now I am here trying to get a few online friends myself. I guess that if it goes beyond virtual reality then we will have to have a discussion.

[cherokeered]

I never thought I would do this but how long can you go without thinking a guy finds you attractive and understands your needs?


I have told my hubby to be more agressive... but his idea of sex is...1...done.

I find the men here wonderful...the ladies are friendly and if I were you...I would just do your own thing....see what happens

I know what I'm doing is probably wrong but so is punishing myself for it. If he doesn't want me...then what is so bad about a few strokes on the keyboard?

Doesn't everyone deserve to be happy?

:kk
okay...off my soap box...someone gag me please

[flamengo130]

interesting posts. we chat with friends...male, female, and other couples. sometimes together, sometimes not. but we have a STRONG relationship, and don't keep any secrets. Beside that, this is the right site to make great friends, get outstanding advice, and always an open ear when you just want to vent.

[Frank_2525]

:blowjob: So much for the gag now to the point, you are right everyone does deserve happiness.

I never thought I would do this but how long can you go without thinking a guy finds you attractive and understands your needs?


I have told my hubby to be more agressive... but his idea of sex is...1...done.

I find the men here wonderful...the ladies are friendly and if I were you...I would just do your own thing....see what happens

I know what I'm doing is probably wrong but so is punishing myself for it. If he doesn't want me...then what is so bad about a few strokes on the keyboard?

Doesn't everyone deserve to be happy?

:kk
okay...off my soap box...someone gag me please

[Jy]

I think all of us are here because we've found our own relationship lacking somehow. I don't have any advice for you, Zen, but I can tell you that the friends I have made from this site have filled a void in my life. I was lonely and feeling unloved and unappreciated and now I feel like I have a second family. I have recieved so much from the members here - love, acceptance, sage advice, empathy, sympathy, and a revived sense of self. I hope you stick around and get to know all the wild, wonderful, wacky and wise members of this site.

[Wet Beaver]

She has her online friends, even caught her cyber chatting a couple of times. Now I am here trying to get a few online friends myself. I guess that if it goes beyond virtual reality then we will have to have a discussion.

revenge is a dish, best eaten cold.........

[chandicharak]

Hi Zen

I too had this problem with my wife.She used to chat with one of her online "friend".I've read her emails to him & it seems that this guy doesnt know that she's married since she didnt tell him.i discused with my wife & now everthing is solved.

[inquisitive]

if you don't trust someone, ask them out right about whats bothering you

[WandaRing]

be careful of what you wish for and for what you go looking for - -you just may get it and isnt that how your wife started, by just having chat friends...really sounds like you both need to talk...read some more threads they may help you out...best of luck:(