Needing that little extra

[thn2007]

I am married, and have been for 5 years, my wife and I have great sex.

But recently she has been hung on chatting with men she meets on the niternet and it gets me upset.

So I am playing the devil and want to fight fire with fire.....If any women out there want to chat via MSN webcam etc, let me know.

Otherwise I would love to hear from people with similar issues, has your wife/husband or ex been chating on the web with the opposite sex about sex.

Thanks

[dixiechiknga]

Hmmm good luck sugar and enjoy the site.

[thn2007]

Is that really your ass.....thats the better question.

[WandaRing]

I am married, and have been for 5 years, my wife and I have great sex.

But recently she has been hung on chatting with men she meets on the niternet and it gets me upset.

So I am playing the devil and want to fight fire with fire.....If any women out there want to chat via MSN webcam etc, let me know.

Otherwise I would love to hear from people with similar issues, has your wife/husband or ex been chating on the web with the opposite sex about sex.Thanks
Hi thn, if I were you, I wouldn't play the jealousy game...it always backfires badly...someone will get hurt---badly...

Confront her and deal with it as a couple...find out why she's doing it or why she feels it's okay....tell her how it makes you feel. If she won't listen or repect your feelings get some help....:crs

[thn2007]

OK So I will explain my situation further to offer more substance.

My wife is a beautiful lady, and great body, we make love relatively often and I must say it is great. Recently however, I found some chat logs (was not looking for them) and it revealed a whoel new side of my wife I did not know about.

hese chat logs revealed she was chatting sexually, and sending pics (erotic) toother men around the world. I confronted her n this because I felt it was unfair, and hrutful to our relationship. I did not like the idea that she had to do such a thing with other men. I was upset that the way she talked to these men and preteneded to act (sending pics) she has never done for me.

Am I over reacting?

Should I find my own women to do the same?

Should I leave my wife?

What do you think I chould do...or what would you do if you were in my situation?

I look at other women and size them up like any other man, and I am sure she does the same, but I have never taken it to the next step. She even gave out our phone number and arranged tom call them or they call her when I cam not around.

Comments...

[thn2007]

Hi thn, if I were you, I wouldn't play the jealousy game...it always backfires badly...someone will get hurt---badly...

Confront her and deal with it as a couple...find out why she's doing it or why she feels it's okay....tell her how it makes you feel. If she won't listen or repect your feelings get some help....:crs


Thanks for the advice, we ahve already had the conversations on my feelings, and it has not stopped her. I have even suggested counseling for her and I to address issues, but she does not want to talk to anyone.

[Sneaky]

OK So I will explain my situation further to offer more substance.

My wife is a beautiful lady, and great body, we make love relatively often and I must say it is great. Recently however, I found some chat logs (was not looking for them) and it revealed a whoel new side of my wife I did not know about.

hese chat logs revealed she was chatting sexually, and sending pics (erotic) toother men around the world. I confronted her n this because I felt it was unfair, and hrutful to our relationship. I did not like the idea that she had to do such a thing with other men. I was upset that the way she talked to these men and preteneded to act (sending pics) she has never done for me.

Am I over reacting?

Should I find my own women to do the same?

Should I leave my wife?

What do you think I chould do...or what would you do if you were in my situation?

I look at other women and size them up like any other man, and I am sure she does the same, but I have never taken it to the next step. She even gave out our phone number and arranged tom call them or they call her when I cam not around.

Comments...
I'm sure you are very hurt right now...but you could use this as an opportunity. I think you could find out what she's been thinking or fantisizing about & use it as an opportunity to bridge the gap & get closer to you.

Of course you are hurt...and she should understand that that. You also might want to examine why exactly she can't come to you with these things she thinks about...(it might be just that she wanted a little attention? I have no idea. I'm just guessing without knowing all of your situation.)

Finding another woman just to get her back for spite isn't the answer. And it's not fair to the woman you chat with either. I think you need to find out where this is coming from before you "get her back".

[thn2007]

I think you need to find out where this is coming from before you "get her back".

Let me rephrase....I am not trying to "get her back", in a revenge type way, I want to take part to see what she enjoys about this sort of thing....it may actually be that I am interested as well and we can bound on this topic to take to a deeper and more sensual level.

Something both of us can enjoy together so to speak.

[fever]

I agree with Sneaky (shocking, I know...). You're not being fair to anyone by doing it because she's doing it. If you're looking to understand what she finds appealing about it, you're going to have to ask her. Even if you DO find it to your liking, it doesn't mean your any closer to understanding her interests in chatting. Sounds to me like the only way to go here is to communicate...

Good luck, and welcome to the site tho!

[Willy S]

very sensible

[thn2007]

Is it wrong for me to want to try this for myself?

I understand I should not be fake and misleading with others on this site, but that is exactly why I explained my purpose......I may continue forever, but I iwll never known unless I try.

I am seeking someon with similar interests, thus they woudl already have an idea wht to expect.....

This site is called "Married and Flirting".....this is not disrespectful just a point.

It would be nice to know what others expectations are for joinging this site......would shed some light on the issues and maybe help me find the one, two, three....etc I am looking to have fun with.

[Sneaky]

Is it wrong for me to want to try this for myself?

I understand I should not be fake and misleading with others on this site, but that is exactly why I explained my purpose......I may continue forever, but I iwll never known unless I try.

I am seeking someon with similar interests, thus they woudl already have an idea wht to expect.....

This site is called "Married and Flirting".....this is not disrespectful just a point.

It would be nice to know what others expectations are for joinging this site......would shed some light on the issues and maybe help me find the one, two, three....etc I am looking to have fun with.
Nobody thinks you are being disrespectful at all. You asked for advice about your situation. You asked what we would do, we answered.

Good luck with what you are looking for. There are lots of nice ladies here. Post for a little bit and get to know everyone first. You're sure to meet people you like.

Good luck to you and welcome.

[Ally]

Hey thn....

If this is something you want to explore, then go for it! Maybe if you are both doing it openly and honestly, it can become a turn on for you and your wife. As long as you are being honest with her and with yourself for the reasons why you are doing it, then I don't see a problem with it at all.

Good luck!

[Charmed]

OK, I'll take it for the team... Send me your pictures

(kidding)

Seriously, I think you should keep an open mind, chat with everyone, post and after you feel comfortable maybe you can show her the site..

Try to make it a growing experience, not one that will end your marriage.

Good luck!


OK So I will explain my situation further to offer more substance.

My wife is a beautiful lady, and great body, we make love relatively often and I must say it is great. Recently however, I found some chat logs (was not looking for them) and it revealed a whoel new side of my wife I did not know about.

hese chat logs revealed she was chatting sexually, and sending pics (erotic) toother men around the world. I confronted her n this because I felt it was unfair, and hrutful to our relationship. I did not like the idea that she had to do such a thing with other men. I was upset that the way she talked to these men and preteneded to act (sending pics) she has never done for me.

Am I over reacting?

Should I find my own women to do the same?

Should I leave my wife?

What do you think I chould do...or what would you do if you were in my situation?

I look at other women and size them up like any other man, and I am sure she does the same, but I have never taken it to the next step. She even gave out our phone number and arranged tom call them or they call her when I cam not around.

Comments...

[thn2007]

Ok, lets try from a different angle, what attracted you all to this site...you know my reasons, now how about a couple of yours?

[fever]

Is it wrong for me to want to try this for myself?

I understand I should not be fake and misleading with others on this site, but that is exactly why I explained my purpose......I may continue forever, but I iwll never known unless I try.

I am seeking someon with similar interests, thus they woudl already have an idea wht to expect.....

This site is called "Married and Flirting".....this is not disrespectful just a point.

It would be nice to know what others expectations are for joinging this site......would shed some light on the issues and maybe help me find the one, two, three....etc I am looking to have fun with.

There are as many reasons for being here as there are members. I don't think ANYONE believes that your being here to flirt is disrespectful...only if/when it is about revenge. Honestly, your first post made it seem like it was, and your subsequent post was helpful and clarifying. Grad a drink, relax, enjoy the site, get to know us and let us get to know you. You'll find as you post and read and chat that many of us have shared why we're here, and I'd be surprised if there aren't some in a similar situation.

[Ally]

What brought me to the site initially was boredom. I had too much time on my hands and I felt like chatting with people. I thought that it was probably a good idea to chat with other married people, rather than single people and sending the wrong message. When I googled married chat...this site came up. I was intrigued....I checked it out....found amazing people...voila! I am now an M&F addict....lol.

[Charmed]

It's official! I am your long lost sister :)

That is exactly how and why I found this place.



What brought me to the site initially was boredom. I had too much time on my hands and I felt like chatting with people. I thought that it was probably a good idea to chat with other married people, rather than single people and sending the wrong message. When I googled married chat...this site came up. I was intrigued....I checked it out....found amazing people...voila! I am now an M&F addict....lol.

[stellabelle]

Welcome thn. Fever is correct. There are a million reasons why any of us are here. This place is so much more than married and flirting. It's a place where some of us have given our hearts to love, shared our prayers for friends, yelled and argued at differing viewpoints, chuckled at the funny things someones child has done, laughed hysterically at a few quirky members of this wonderful community, and above all else, shared friendships. Keep an open mind and hopefully you will find the answers you look for, and make some friends along the way. Good luck.

[OnceAKing]

I'm sure you are very hurt right now...but you could use this as an opportunity. I think you could find out what she's been thinking or fantisizing about & use it as an opportunity to bridge the gap & get closer to you.

Of course you are hurt...and she should understand that that. You also might want to examine why exactly she can't come to you with these things she thinks about...(it might be just that she wanted a little attention? I have no idea. I'm just guessing without knowing all of your situation.)

Finding another woman just to get her back for spite isn't the answer. And it's not fair to the woman you chat with either. I think you need to find out where this is coming from before you "get her back".


Bot are thos reely your socks? That's my question

[OnceAKing]

I was actually looking for the restroom when I found this place...now, why I was looking on my computer is another question entirely so don't ask cuz have no idea and every one knows...well I forgot what I was gonna say...

Oh yeah...be careful around here cause there's some really hot n spicy ladies...I'm talkin the kind you'd wanna write home and tell momma about.

[Sneaky]

Bot are thos reely your socks? That's my question
Just let me live my live.

Wink.

[Easy]

a little extra tim eeach day and might get caught up

[Curiousoneonly]

thn, I think that you need to be up front with your wife. Tell her how you are feeling about her chatting with men and such.


There are many different reasons as to why people come here. Some come to make friends, some come to look for something that is missing in thier life, you know to fill a void.


I think perhaps you need to read the threads to get a better feel as to why people are here.


Here is a thread I started. I thought it might shed some light for you.
http://www.marriedandflirtingchat.com/forums/showthread.php?t=13263


Take care.

[WandaRing]

Let me rephrase....I am not trying to "get her back", in a revenge type way, I want to take part to see what she enjoys about this sort of thing....it may actually be that I am interested as well and we can bound on this topic to take to a deeper and more sensual level.

Something both of us can enjoy together so to speak.
Thanks for the advice, we ahve already had the conversations on my feelings, and it has not stopped her. I have even suggested counseling for her and I to address issues, but she does not want to talk to anyone..
Glad to hear that you're not looking for revenge....keep talking, maybe it will be a situation were you both can enjoy having "net friends". Be sure that it's what you both want because jealousy can wreck havoc on a persons life and within a marriage...if she refuses to talk to you, I wouldn't threaten that you're going to do the same thing, it just may start a war or she may feel that she really has not done anything wrong towards you...

If the sexual part of your relationship is going well, then she's acting out for some other reason...reasons that you have every right to know. I guess in the end, you'll have to do what feels right to you...it is a difficult and hurtful situation that you find yourself in....

[Big Sexy]

I don't consider chatting to someone on line as cheating. Give her a break.

[OnceAKing]

First of all let me say I realize we're operating with a limited set of facts because we're hearing one side of the story...not that yours is not accurate from your perspective, but it's just that...from your perspective. and if she's not talking to you, it's limited.

I understand and relate with your hurt but let me tell you that I hear you saying, both here and to her, that whatever is going on is her "fault" or problem...and while it might very well be, it's a very slippery slope to play on. If it's not her then you're running the risk of her totally shutting down to listening and/or talking to you about it because she knows that in the end you're going to say she needs to change, she needs counseling, she needs to quit being her...she's doing what she's doing because she feels there's something missing in the relationship and that is at least half you.

I can tell you that there are several ladies here that have been through or are going through some or all of the same issues and it would be very wise to seriously seek out their advice and listen...I can personally tell you that there's one, and she'll be home tomorrow evening and on her computer soon thereafter or the next day, who you would do well to begin listening to...Failure for you to own your part of the problem can very well have marriage ending consequences. It doesn't sound like that's what you're looking for and if it's not, then I would strongly encourage you to seek out, either privately or publicly, their input and listen carefully to see what you can should consider and do yourself.

As a side note but I think worthy of mentioning..."Don't under estimate your ability to change yourself and don't ever over-estimate your ability to change someone else"...and that would include one's wife.

Good luck in finding what you're seeking and I hope you will earnestly seek out and listen to the cumulative advice you'll willingly be given here.

[MCat]

Thanks for the advice, we ahve already had the conversations on my feelings, and it has not stopped her. I have even suggested counseling for her and I to address issues, but she does not want to talk to anyone.

Whew....at least you suggested counseling for both of you...thats a good start. My ex husband thought there was just something wrong with me.

[thn2007]

Whew....at least you suggested counseling for both of you...thats a good start. My ex husband thought there was just something wrong with me.


You seem to have been through some pain in a relationship, more specifically marriage in the past.....I would love to chat with you....so if you see me in the married chat room hit me up for a conversation or msn.

[Danso]

I am married, and have been for 5 years, my wife and I have great sex.

But recently she has been hung on chatting with men she meets on the niternet and it gets me upset.

So I am playing the devil and want to fight fire with fire.....If any women out there want to chat via MSN webcam etc, let me know.

Otherwise I would love to hear from people with similar issues, has your wife/husband or ex been chating on the web with the opposite sex about sex.

Thanks

First of all, you gotta ask yourself what's WRONG with her having a little bit of totally safe fantasy fulfillment?

Second, being vindictive is a lose-lose situation. You're supposed help your spouse, not attack them.

If you are spending too much time away from her, start by changing that. if she continues with the chat stuff, tell her you want to watch her chat and sit by her while she chats. Don't talk unless she initiates something. If she's getting to an "interesting" point in the chat, you might start, gently caressing her in a sensual but not erotic spot (neck is a good place to start).

Hell, you might find out you enjoy it.

[countrygent07]

You're in a bad place. Chatting sexually with other men and sending erotic pictures is NOT conducive to a healthy marriage. Especially since, If I'm getting this right, she has no interest in either stopping or discussing the matter with you. Your doing the same will not help. This site, as I'm sure you are discovering, is not really about that. It's about many things, actually, depending on the many individual personalities on board.

But back to your situation. Your marriage is in big trouble. To save it you have to open lines of communication with your wife. This will probably be both tough and painful. You will likely hear things you'd rather not. And it STILL might not save your marriage. Then again, it's a chance, and it sounds to me like you have the courage and wherewithal to take that chance.

Good luck and keep us posted.

[joekrafty]

Get the matches out and start your own fire