Who depends on who

[gdg]

I heard this on the radio this morning. The question was posed.... Who do you depend on and who depends on you? The question made me think and I realized I depend on a couple of friends, but only when I am at my wits end. I don't really have anyone to depend on. Unfortunately, my husband misunderstands so much of me, I don't usually bother. I am not whining, just stating facts. Both my parents are gone, no more family, so I guess, I depend on me.

Then who depends on me. My husband does, this I know, I am his source for most everything. My kids are so big now, I miss they days they relied on me more. I know they still need me, but I don't see it in their eyes like when they were little. You know the look they give when they have a dirty diaper? lol

Sometimes being depended on is a good feeling, sometimes it can be smothering.

[JonJon62]

Gdgrl .. you start so many thought provoking threads ..

Let's see .. who do I depend upon. Well, I learned a while ago that there are really very few people that I can depend upon. Perhaps that is a shortfall of my being who I am. Thus, I rarely depend on anyone. If at all possible I try to do it myself. If not, well, I still try to do it myself.

Who depends on me? Wife, kids, step-kids, work family, wife's family.

Sometimes it's hard always being the responsible, helpful one ..

[gdg]

lol, How come people are always surprised I can actually have a deep thought?

Ok Jon, u are a do it yourselfer! Wonder how many of us there really are?

[Han Solo]

I depend on the government.....I'm a Democrat :D

OH!! Sorry....all those other threads got me brainwashed I spoze :sry

[gdg]

I depend on the government.....I'm a Democrat :D

OH!! Sorry....all those other threads got me brainwashed I spoze :sry

Thanks for your input. I can see you are not into deep thoughts today. Miss your morning java?

[manda1]

Days can be crazy, and I can be at the end of my rope....but having my two little ones depend on me is what gives me life..they are my everything. I know this will not last forever..I am lucky if my 2 yr old lets me hold him anymore! So I am going to soak in every minute I have with them and go to the ends of the earth to put a smile on their cute little faces. I can say that I depend on them too. When my day is going crappy..they are the only ones that can make me feel better, they are the only ones that love me because of me and they don't ask for much. I am lucky enough to have a family that is always there for me...sometimes a little too much if you know what I mean ;), but life wouldn't be life without them. I do depend on them for so much....for unconditional love....and for picking up my kids from daycare while I'm at work! I always say how I don't need my husband, that I can make it without him but the truth is..he is a good guy. I certainly depend on him to do the laundry and wash the dishes ;)

[Han Solo]

Thanks for your input. I can see you are not into deep thoughts today. Miss your morning java?

Yes I did. Perhaps I jumped the gun too early....looking back I suppose that Post #4 was a bit too early for the Pallet Cleanser.........

I'll need a little more time to digest how deep to go with a response so I'll have to ponder on it awhile and get back to you.

[gdg]

Yes I did. Perhaps I jumped the gun too early....looking back I suppose that Post #4 was a bit too early for the Pallet Cleanser.........

I'll need a little more time to digest how deep to go with a response so I'll have to ponder on it awhile and get back to you.

Well, I can see u are dependent on coffee!! Go get a double shot and get back to us later.

[jmsmith12345]

I depend on so many people in so many ways that it is just staggering.

For my life and health, I depend on a team of doctors, nurses, techs, and counselors

For my emotional, physical, and spiritual well being on a daily basis, I depend on my wife, my daughter, and a few very close friends

For just taking care of what needs to be done, I depend on me...a lot

For fun and some support, I depend on lots of friends here

For my financial well being, I depend on Uncle Sam...as I work for the govt, and my own investing/saving

As for who depends on me...beyond my wife, my daughter, family, friends, coworkers, customers, and a host of other people I do volunteer efforts for...nobody. :D

[JonJon62]

lol, How come people are always surprised I can actually have a deep thought?

Ok Jon, u are a do it yourselfer! Wonder how many of us there really are?



Wow .. I didn't mean to infer that you can't deep think, or go deep, or oh heck. Maybe I need to go back and take an English as a second language course .. :lmao:

Well, do it yourselfers need to unite!!! You don't even want to know how many times I've hurt myself trying to do something by myself that I shouldn't have.

You know, it guess it's in my nature to offer help to those that I see that could use it. However, sometimes it would be nice if someone simply offered to help without having to be asked. Does that make any sense at all? I mean if someone cares for you, wouldn't they want to offer, or am I simply being too simple-minded? Perhaps that question doesn't need to be answered ..

[gdg]

Wow .. I didn't mean to infer that you can't deep think, or go deep, or oh heck. Maybe I need to go back and take an English as a second language course .. :lmao:

Well, do it yourselfers need to unite!!! You don't even want to know how many times I've hurt myself trying to do something by myself that I shouldn't have.

You know, it guess it's in my nature to offer help to those that I see that could use it. However, sometimes it would be nice if someone simply offered to help without having to be asked. Does that make any sense at all? I mean if someone cares for you, wouldn't they want to offer, or am I simply being too simple-minded? Perhaps that question doesn't need to be answered ..

No, u are fine, I was being a smart ass. I know, shocking...:yks

Pride gets in the way of asking sometimes. I think if we need it we should reach out and ask. So many people these days, try alone and fail.

[JonJon62]

No, u are fine, I was being a smart ass. I know, shocking...:yks

Pride gets in the way of asking sometimes. I think if we need it we should reach out and ask. So many people these days, try alone and fail.


Now I'm a failure ... geesh .. this keeps getting better and better .. :)

[gdg]

Now I'm a failure ... geesh .. this keeps getting better and better .. :)

Nooooo, I meant people who need help emotionally and do the unthinkable. I always wonder if there was something anyone could have done?

U know u are not a failure, geesh!

[dixiechiknga]

I do everything myself and never reply on anyone for help.

[MiSt09]

Sometimes I like to think that I don't depend on anyone for anything, but that's not true. I depend on lots of people. And I'm glad I do because my life would be very lonely if I didn't.
I depend on my kids for unconditional love...
I depend on my friends and family for advice and support...
I depend on my husband for his help with the kids and with chores around the house... and financially of course.

The people I depend on also depend on me for many of the same things...
My kids get my unconditional love... as well of all of their daily needs taken care of.
My friends and family come to me when they need support and advice.
And my husband depends on me in return... financially, with my help raising the kids, and to get things done around the house.

[fondew2004]

I depend on me...

My former spouse earned no income, produced nothing, consumed without a care, expected/demanded that I produce, accused me of always having a "negative" outlook on life because I was (and still am) continually preparing for the worst, and offered little or no physical "comfort".

[cherri]

I don't depend on my kids for anything, I love them for who they are. There is nothing they need to do, or conditions they need to meet. I get joy and happiness at just being their Mom.

I depend on my doctor to take care of me when I am sick. I don't depend on my husband to do so, he just gets angry at me. I guess, because I can't make dinner and do laundry & all the house work when sick. To my amazement, my child was right. My doctor looked at my son and asked him who takes care of him when he is sick? He said "Mommy!" Then my doctor asked him, who takes care of Mommy when she's sick? My son, looked at him and said, "You do!"

For love, attention, afffection, emotional support, and sex.........I depend on the boyfriend. For some odd reason, he is taking care of all those needs. Never once asking me for more than what I can give. I am truly grateful for all that he does give me. I only hope I am doing him as much good as he is doing for me.

What I do depend on my husband for........a paycheck! How demeaning is that? I didn't want it to be that way, but that is what it's been reduced to. One thing. Once upon a time, he was so much more. Worth more to me than money itself.

[melbrook]

I depend on my mom to help with the kids. I depend on my husband for money.

My kids depend on me since they are still little and my husband depends on me to take care of all the house work.

[Curiousoneonly]

In all honesty I do not depend on anyone but myself. Frankly, I really don't want to depend on anyone.

[Rex]

I depend on no one. My wife & kids need me for support.
My life insurance is hefty enough for them to get along without me.

I could get along on my own if I chose to.

[pointofnoreturn]

I depend on myself for most anything. But....I hae a couple of friendsthat I really do depend on to listen to me when I am sad or hurt. They can listen, but not fix my problems, soooooooooooooo I depend mainly on me. And my cats!!! Who depends on me??? Hubby, Work, Family, Friends, I am there when they need me. Now after thinkin g about this....I think everyone depends on themselves. If you asked the ones you saydepend on you, they may say the same thing. Now I am confused.

[gdg]

I depend on no one. My wife & kids need me for support.
My life insurance is hefty enough for them to get along without me.

I could get along on my own if I chose to.

It is nice to be needed sometimes, no? I mean we all should be self sufficient, I agree. But, nothing compares to consoling hugs and shoulders to cry on.

JMO!

[redcat]

In our family, as I suspect in most, we each have our strengths and weaknesses. Where one is strong, another may not be, etc. So, it works pretty well, for the most part. There are some things I'd like to see changed, but it won't happen today. :D

Like it or not, I think, in some way or other, we find ourselves depending upon another person. We may want to do it all ourselves and even try...but "no man is an island".

[glamourgirl]

i am fiercely independent-most of the time... however i have three girlfriends that i depend on. They are all strong women and not afraid to call me on the carpet and they listen when i rant. My children, are mostly grown and independent but still depend on me to be there for them....(i hope that never changes)...

[OnceAKing]

I heard this on the radio this morning. The question was posed.... Who do you depend on and who depends on you? The question made me think and I realized I depend on a couple of friends, but only when I am at my wits end. I don't really have anyone to depend on. Unfortunately, my husband misunderstands so much of me, I don't usually bother. I am not whining, just stating facts. Both my parents are gone, no more family, so I guess, I depend on me.

Then who depends on me. My husband does, this I know, I am his source for most everything. My kids are so big now, I miss they days they relied on me more. I know they still need me, but I don't see it in their eyes like when they were little. You know the look they give when they have a dirty diaper? lol

Sometimes being depended on is a good feeling, sometimes it can be smothering.


Awwwww, if you could just see JM...he looks at every woman like that...

[Xanadu7]

Gdgrl .. you start so many thought provoking threads ..

Let's see .. who do I depend upon. Well, I learned a while ago that there are really very few people that I can depend upon. Perhaps that is a shortfall of my being who I am. Thus, I rarely depend on anyone. If at all possible I try to do it myself. If not, well, I still try to do it myself.

Who depends on me? Wife, kids, step-kids, work family, wife's family.

Sometimes it's hard always being the responsible, helpful one ..

I decided to let my cell phone answer this question for me. I get lots of texts and calls from people who want me to do something for them. Do you know how many similar messages I initiate? About as many as JonJon, I would imagine.

I know in my head that people need each other, but I rarely ask for help. I'm not sure if it's a cultural man thing, or just a peculiar Xan thing. However, there are a few friends that I will ask help from when times get tough, and I will say, they always come through.

[JonJon62]

I decided to let my cell phone answer this question for me. I get lots of texts and calls from people who want me to do something for them. Do you know how many similar messages I initiate? About as many as JonJon, I would imagine.

I know in my head that people need each other, but I rarely ask for help. I'm not sure if it's a cultural man thing, or just a peculiar Xan thing. However, there are a few friends that I will ask help from when times get tough, and I will say, they always come through.

Isn't HELP a four letter word?? (at least to some men ... ):rolleyes:

[yaser]

I am happy to be INDEPENDENT.Never want to be depend upon others.

[Hotliz]

i have learned that there are very few people you can depend on in life. most will eventually let you down in turn for their own desires no matter what has taken place in the past. these people are also ignorant to the fact that they have done anything wrong and only think of their own needs and not the feelings of others. i do hope that those few that i can depend on feel as if they can depend on me too. i want to be there for the people i love.

[Easy]

my employees depend on me to keep them working and i depend on them to do a good jod so that i don't have to lay any off
My mom depend's on me since she can no longer driver due to bad eye sight

[N.K.O.T.B]

So another day out with the hubby and once again he has my mind in pieces. What is the idea of a perfect wife? What is expected of her? As women we work on our appearance or shape our lives to impress a man. We really put more effort in our relationships. We take time, attention, the heart and put it all in. Here is what I want: I want loyalty, love , romance consideration, respect, time, attention, satisfaction, achknowledgement. I want to be your world, the object of your desire, your alpha and omega. Is that too much to ask from one human being? I want a happy husband. But for the last how many years ii have been working on him and have not had any of my wants met. I still see his eyes mind wonder. istill find him watching that ' hot chick w/ the fat ass" . Is that normal for men to act think do that? So tell me what I am doing wrong what more must I sacrifice?

[leighm]

NKOB you are not asking too much. Who knows why men are so fixated with 'other women'? It certainly isn't anything you have done wrong. Men are just very odd creatures, some odder than most. Took my hubby nearly 30yrs to realise how much I mean to him. His fault was work fortunately. But given the chance he would ogle naked women and get a kick out of it. Not great for a wife who has gained weight after bearing his children and who has self esteem issues. But it's life. I felt like I sacrifised most of my life just sitting in the background raising the kids waiting for him to just talk to me, discuss issues, notice ME. I relied on him for monetary needs. We decided it was best for him to get two jobs rather than both of us work while the kids were young. But it seemed that he relied on me for everything else and now it seems he didn't get what he wanted. But I didn't know that until just recently. The kids are all grown but still depend on me. Mainly for a safe place to crash or when their stomachs need filling or help with kids or cooking tips.
But it seems hubby has realised he should have talked to me way back then and now after 29yrs our marriage seems stronger than ever. Make sure you communicate, confront him and telling him what you want and need. See if he is willing to come to the party. Good luck.

[FizProf]

Interview with Bob Dole:
Q: Do you wear briefs or bikinis?
A: Depends

[Sinster]

I heard this on the radio this morning. The question was posed.... Who do you depend on and who depends on you? The question made me think and I realized I depend on a couple of friends, but only when I am at my wits end. I don't really have anyone to depend on. Unfortunately, my husband misunderstands so much of me, I don't usually bother. I am not whining, just stating facts. Both my parents are gone, no more family, so I guess, I depend on me.

Then who depends on me. My husband does, this I know, I am his source for most everything. My kids are so big now, I miss they days they relied on me more. I know they still need me, but I don't see it in their eyes like when they were little. You know the look they give when they have a dirty diaper? lol

Sometimes being depended on is a good feeling, sometimes it can be smothering.
I depend on nobody because I don't have anyone to depend on...
I am amongst the smothered, everybody depends on me to be the pillar of strength, gets tiring believe me....

[Nick182]

I stopped depending on others a long time ago. I've been let down too many times... including twice over the past 3 days by the person that's suppose to always be there for me. oh well... independance can be lonely, but it's better then being let down all the time.

[scorpi69]

I stopped depending on others a long time ago. I've been let down too many times... including twice over the past 3 days by the person that's suppose to always be there for me. oh well... independance can be lonely, but it's better then being let down all the time.

Aww sorry to hear that...well u know u can always depend on me ;)

[Nick182]

Aww sorry to hear that...well u know u can always depend on me ;)
You're sweet! :))):

[scorpi69]

You're sweet! :))):

You really think I'm sweet?

[Nick182]

You really think I'm sweet?

Yes... but I'll confirm after I taste you :lf

[scorpi69]

Yes... but I'll confirm after I taste you :lf

OMG!!!!! Get ur ass up here NOW!!!!! I can't wait till the end of July lol

[blu]

I depend on myself. I used to on my oldest a lot, but hes far away now.

[Lacey]

Who depends on me?
My husband,my children,my mil,my brother,my employer,my dog,my best friend and my clients..

Who do I depend on?
Ummm...I depend on my husband to help with the kids when I'm not able too...other then that....ummm....I depend on me...to make the right decisions and do what's needed to be done..

[Tempest]

I depend on nobody because I don't have anyone to depend on...
I am amongst the smothered, everybody depends on me to be the pillar of strength, gets tiring believe me....
:hug:I feel for ya! I go through the same thing with the people in my life. But I think I am lucky enough to have 2 amazing sisters who are always there.
Lean on me if you ever need to.

[NeilC]

I pride myself on being "independent" and not having to rely on anyone.
Many people depend on me, mostly family, to be the hub financialy and the voice of reason when they need a shoulder. I do sleep easy though knowing if I did ever need some on to lean on I do have family and a few close friends that would be there in a minute if I ever needed it.

[fondew2004]

I will accept "dependancy" if I am certain my partner can actually be fully and completely independant on their own.

"I swear by my life and my love of it, that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine."

[StripPoker]

We depend on each other, we all need somebody to lean on. Life is tough without it

[Willy S]

we are both totally independent - unfortunately

[gdg]

I believe we should all be self sufficient, not needing to rely on others for basic needs. We should not put ourselves in the position of not being able to survive without our SO.

But, I do think it is important to rely on someone to be there for you when you most need it. In times that we are down or in crisis. If we feel we have to face everything in life alone because we cannot depend on anyone else to be there, then there is a significant piece of the puzzle missing.

Maybe that is why so many marriages end now v. many years ago. Women were much more dependent on men, in years past. Men were the soul bread winners of the family.

[JonJon62]

I believe we should all be self sufficient, not needing to rely on others for basic needs. We should not put ourselves in the position of not being able to survive without our SO.

But, I do think it is important to rely on someone to be there for you when you most need it. In times that we are down or in crisis. If we feel we have to face everything in life alone because we cannot depend on anyone else to be there, then there is a significant piece of the puzzle missing.

Maybe that is why so many marriages end now v. many years ago. Women were much more dependent on men, in years past. Men were the soul bread winners of the family.


I have often said that marriages in the past, as little as say 75 years ago, were forged from interdependence on each other. A woman was not physically able (for the most part) to do the hard, manual labor that was needed in order to make a living. Likewise men were unable to do the cooking and cleaning necessary (especially with a family) after a very hard day of work. There is something to be said for 'working together' which bonds a family. Even in my life, growing up on a farm in which we raised most of our own food, the family HAD to work together in order for us to make it. Some of my fondest memories are of sitting on the back porch snapping beans, or shelling peas, talking and joking with my sisters and mother and father. IMHO we are closer because of those experiences and the inter dependency that we shared.

Life has moved to a point where men and women no longer "need" each other in order to survive. When we don't "need" something, often times we don't put in the effort needed to sustain it ..

My 2 cents ..

[gdg]

Although many would feel we have moved forward in this area and we should not go back to yesterdays. I agree with you. Families seemed to be closer. Out of the need for one another came the appreciation and respect of what each person was able to do for the other. An alliance was formed. Sure, it was not fairy tales, but it was family.

[Lacey]

So another day out with the hubby and once again he has my mind in pieces. What is the idea of a perfect wife? What is expected of her? As women we work on our appearance or shape our lives to impress a man. We really put more effort in our relationships. We take time, attention, the heart and put it all in. Here is what I want: I want loyalty, love , romance consideration, respect, time, attention, satisfaction, achknowledgement. I want to be your world, the object of your desire, your alpha and omega. Is that too much to ask from one human being? I want a happy husband. But for the last how many years ii have been working on him and have not had any of my wants met. I still see his eyes mind wonder. istill find him watching that ' hot chick w/ the fat ass" . Is that normal for men to act think do that? So tell me what I am doing wrong what more must I sacrifice?


I don't think it's anything to do with you....he's married...not blind....when I was young like you...I was insecure with myself....so, when he noticed others...I noticed....because I was sooo worried about what he was doing that I forgot about me for a bit....what does it matter if he looks....you never notice a good-looking man?....The difference with women and men...I think is....we hide it better....we notice....but we can notice without them knowing....but we as women notice EVERYTHING...so,even when they're thinking they're getting away with it....they aren't...we may not say anything....but we notice....so what....he looks at others...if he was touching others....that would be a big deal...looking at others....no....be confident....it'll help...he'll notice that too!