Frustrated.. Anyone else have these problems?

[brad06]

First of all.. I want to say that I love my wife and I think she is the greatest person. I have been married to her for 10 years and I have enjoyed every year that we have been married.

I have a few things that have bothered me and I have talked about it over and over with her so many times that she now tells me that she doesn't want to talk about it anymore.

I'm not trying to rant, but I'm just wondering if anyone else here knows what to do..

I don't have sex much more than twice a month.. IF I'm lucky. there have been months that I got no sex.. but I just keep holding out.

She says that she loves sex, but is being shy about it..(she's been saying that for 10 years) For some dumb reason, I'm a very sexual person.. I LOVE to have sex. I LOVE to please a woman in any way that I can.. I can't expalin it, but that's who I am.

Sad to say, but it's been a VERY long time since I had great sex. I love my wife, but she doesn't last but maybe two minutes before she's done. ( she claims it's because of my "stuff" being the size that it is.. which is really cool.. but I'm left high and dry and wanting a good fuck) She says that it's very sensitive after she cums and can't continue.. soooo, I'm left jackin it until I cum and that's the end of that.

In a nutshell, there is only one position that she'll do and that's it.

I LOVE to perform oral sex.. OMG I love to do that (getting excited thinking about it)! She won't let me do it.. she won't give me a reason.. who knows?

I have performed oral sex quite a few times with other partners before I met my wife with all of them loving it saying that I can do that anytime I ever wanted to do it...which would be nice..

I really am frustrated and don't know what to do except suffer. I feel like I want to scream being that I wanna fuck so bad and maybe a little longer than 5 minutes.

Is there anything that I can do??.. I've already tried the talk to her thing.. not working..

Sorry about the long post :sry

Thanks

[leighm]

Brad I am soooo sorry you have this problem. It amazes me how so many on here have bad sexual relationships. I (nor my husband) can relate to your difficulty. Guess you've told your wife how you feel, physically as well as emotionally. Does she enjoy a massage, can you hold off her cuming until you have? Has this been a problem your entire married life? Do you have or want kids? There's always councelors you could try talking to.

[Sinster]

OMG.. You must be my life twin Brad, I got the exact problems you have almost to every letter you wrote..... If you figure it out let me know cos I'm sick of it...

[countrygent07]

A lot of us have been in your shoes, Brad. A lot of us have seen our marriages fall apart largely over this issue. It sounds like you've been patient and have tried to establish open communication. She has not responded in kind, and this, of course, is most frustrating. But don't give up! Try couples counseling to keep the communication open. You may also want to consider sex therapy. Good luck, and keep us posted!

[Penny]

She must be having some kind of problems. She will tell u she is done and leave u to your own hand? That sounds like a woman that isnt in a good place

[Singeon]

First of all.. I want to say that I love my wife and I think she is the greatest person. I have been married to her for 10 years and I have enjoyed every year that we have been married.

I have a few things that have bothered me and I have talked about it over and over with her so many times that she now tells me that she doesn't want to talk about it anymore.

I'm not trying to rant, but I'm just wondering if anyone else here knows what to do..

I don't have sex much more than twice a month.. IF I'm lucky. there have been months that I got no sex.. but I just keep holding out.

She says that she loves sex, but is being shy about it..(she's been saying that for 10 years) For some dumb reason, I'm a very sexual person.. I LOVE to have sex. I LOVE to please a woman in any way that I can.. I can't expalin it, but that's who I am.

Sad to say, but it's been a VERY long time since I had great sex. I love my wife, but she doesn't last but maybe two minutes before she's done. ( she claims it's because of my "stuff" being the size that it is.. which is really cool.. but I'm left high and dry and wanting a good fuck) She says that it's very sensitive after she cums and can't continue.. soooo, I'm left jackin it until I cum and that's the end of that.

In a nutshell, there is only one position that she'll do and that's it.

I LOVE to perform oral sex.. OMG I love to do that (getting excited thinking about it)! She won't let me do it.. she won't give me a reason.. who knows?

I have performed oral sex quite a few times with other partners before I met my wife with all of them loving it saying that I can do that anytime I ever wanted to do it...which would be nice..

I really am frustrated and don't know what to do except suffer. I feel like I want to scream being that I wanna fuck so bad and maybe a little longer than 5 minutes.

Is there anything that I can do??.. I've already tried the talk to her thing.. not working..

Sorry about the long post :sry

Thanks

Very familiar, Brad..with few variations.

It seems to be an issue of "control"..she has control over you in the bedroom but doesn't realise the damage it is doing to you..which is a hallmark of a controlling person..she has what she needs, including your attention for the moment..as time goes by and you withold that attention..the gap between you won't be worth bridging anymore.

Perhaps try the talk once again...and be direct about what her attitude is amounting to..because, believe me, if you don't get it sorted now you have few choices left if you wish to have some happiness in your life.

Best of luck...twice a month after ten years is about normal...consider what it'll be like after 25...

[cherri]

I really don't know what to say, except that I know how you feel. I don't know what to tell you about your wife, except somethig is wrong, and don't blame yourself or think that it's you. It's not you, and she needs to talk to a medical doctor (if she is wanting to fix it). I'm on the flip side of that coin, and can better understand what you are going through. Which is frustrating to the point of being painful. Where you want so much, and are willing to do anything, but to no avail....you are held at an arms length and not allowed any closer. You know you're needs aren't meant, but wondering how you can better meet her needs. You're at a loss, and you need her input, and her cooperation. Don't give up on her, keep the lines of communication open. There is hope there. Just be careful, you are starved for the deep, intimate, sexual release that only hours, if not days, of sex can satisfy. Someone that doesn't want you to hold back; someone who will find pleasure in and with you; wanting and desiring you as much as you do her. You'll eventually start searching for the partner who can offer that, and when you do.........stop and think about what you will be putting at risk. Just make sure it's over with your wife, that you exhausted every aspect of getting help, and that there is no more hope for your marriage before you make that kind of gamble. I know, with me, sex is a big aspect. It's everything to me and definitely an important part of the realtionship. I couldn't live without it, and I know for certain, I wouldn't be happy without it. Hang in there, and remember you do have friends who have been there....and we'll be there for you.

[learman3]

Yes...at your age I was getting the same reactions. Her breasts were ticklish and her vagina to sensitive for me to perform oral for more than a few minutes if I was lucky. Now there is no sex at all. We never talk, not about anything ever. Any time I've started she'd runs off in tears.

At this point in my life I have given up. We barely speak most days, maybe a few words in the morning and a few more in the evening. When I try to speak, she's in the middle of reading and I get that you are interrupting me look. So I try not to say to much of anything.

[scubaguy59]

Brad...sounds just like alot of men on here, I have been married for 6 years and it's the same thing here. I am just like you, I might get it once or twice a month if I am lucky...I have talked till I am blue in the face and still it's the same ol thing. I have never steped out on my wife, but I am sure thinking about it real serious...I have had offers but I always say no thank you...and move on....I wish you all the luck in the world...

[redcat]

Yes...at your age I was getting the same reactions. Her breasts were ticklish and her vagina to sensitive for me to perform oral for more than a few minutes if I was lucky. Now there is no sex at all. We never talk, not about anything ever. Any time I've started she'd runs off in tears.

At this point in my life I have given up. We barely speak most days, maybe a few words in the morning and a few more in the evening. When I try to speak, she's in the middle of reading and I get that you are interrupting me look. So I try not to say to much of anything.


Lear, that is sad and can't be how you imagined spending the rest of your life. I hope you can find happiness. :hug:

[Singeon]

Yes...at your age I was getting the same reactions. Her breasts were ticklish and her vagina to sensitive for me to perform oral for more than a few minutes if I was lucky. Now there is no sex at all. We never talk, not about anything ever. Any time I've started she'd runs off in tears.

At this point in my life I have given up. We barely speak most days, maybe a few words in the morning and a few more in the evening. When I try to speak, she's in the middle of reading and I get that you are interrupting me look. So I try not to say to much of anything.

You won't have to imagine what it will be like 25 years down the track, Brad...Learman has given you the reality it could become right there^..and for what its worth, Lear...I for one understand what you have described..it's a crappy place to be, isn't it?...best of luck in your own search for happiness, mate.

[cherri]

Yes...at your age I was getting the same reactions. Her breasts were ticklish and her vagina to sensitive for me to perform oral for more than a few minutes if I was lucky. Now there is no sex at all. We never talk, not about anything ever. Any time I've started she'd runs off in tears.

At this point in my life I have given up. We barely speak most days, maybe a few words in the morning and a few more in the evening. When I try to speak, she's in the middle of reading and I get that you are interrupting me look. So I try not to say to much of anything.

I don't know how you do it. I just hope you know that you deserve better! You are a great guy, and have so much to offer. It makes me sad to know that you would settle for so little. Not saying anything at all will cost you dearly. Is that what you want, and how you wanted your marriage to be? Or are you just going to accept what is given because out of fear you are afraid to ask for more?

[daisyduck]

I hope you find some kind of revolution to find happiness. life is hard enough, try talking to her again and see what she has to say about why she is doing what she is doing. maybe she as some issues as well that you may not be aware of. best of luck to you.

[sdclubber]

I am in similar boat as others here...once maybe twice a month...when I could use several times a week...also love the oral but it seems I only get the opportunity rarely...
What's really weird to me is all the things that attracted me to her don't happen anymore with me but I see them in her interactions with others...which then leads to a feeling of jealousy and mistrust. I refer to it as "social cheating" because I go outside to flirt because she takes the teasing too seriously now and I talk to other people because she doesn't have the time to talk anymore.
I don't see it getting any better and one thing will eventually lead to the other...

[dave42]

Very familiar, Brad..with few variations.

It seems to be an issue of "control"..she has control over you in the bedroom but doesn't realise the damage it is doing to you..which is a hallmark of a controlling person..she has what she needs, including your attention for the moment..as time goes by and you withold that attention..the gap between you won't be worth bridging anymore.

Perhaps try the talk once again...and be direct about what her attitude is amounting to..because, believe me, if you don't get it sorted now you have few choices left if you wish to have some happiness in your life.

Best of luck...twice a month after ten years is about normal...consider what it'll be like after 25...

This is a very interesting angle. I never thought of it this way before. This is kind of what happening to me. She has everything she wants. A nice house, A car, and the security of getting half my stuff if I leave. She doesen't have a husband, But a hostage instead.
I just finished reading Steve Harvey's new book and it is true to life. Men will go elsewhere if they are not happy. There is always a woman willing to cheat with him on some occassion, All it takes is the right time and place. I am a busy guy, But my eyes are always open for that "Jail Break" opportunity.

[redstatephil]

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[Veeis4mee]

Hey Brad your post hits home with me also and I'm in year 24. I would imagine you have kids and a busy house. Brad if you really want it to work ill give you one word of advice '' romance'' she wants to feel special and she needs it as much as you need sex. Take one day every week and take her out. Go for walks and hold her hand,compliment her lots surprise her as much as you can. Your sex life will become renewed. Don't wait or the resentment will grow. Good luck bud

[leggy4]

It is amazing what psychological problems do to you physically... I am sorry for your dilemma...:)