Ever feel like just saying "Enough"?

[justadude]

Some days I get this crazy desire to walk into my boss' office and tell him that I spend most of my day jerking off online. Then after he fires me I would go home and tell my wife that I have cheated on her several times and that I will most likely do it again if I can find someone who will let me. I figure if I get it out there then I don't have to wonder what will happen if they find out on their own.

This is just a self destructive urge I get from time to time, and common sense takes over way before I ever really consider doing it. Does anyone else ever get these self destructive urges? Does anyone even understand where I am coming from at all?

[Tempest]

Heck ya. I am dealing with someone right now that I'm always on the verge of just saying everything that's on my mind. But because of the possible consequences, I don't. And it keeps me in knots. I should say "Fuck it!" and spill the beans. But I know I won't, so I'm just going to go take some more Tylenol.

[pointofnoreturn]

Heck ya. I am dealing with someone right now that I'm always on the verge of just saying everything that's on my mind. But because of the possible consequences, I don't. And it keeps me in knots. I should say "Fuck it!" and spill the beans. But I know I won't, so I'm just going to go take some more Tylenol.I take a lot of Ibuprofin. Tylenol does not work for me anymore....

I get the "urge" a lot lately.....:yks

[Zak1000]

Isn't that what keeps the whole world turning.. that there are enough of us prepared to mouth our thoughts silently... when we should be shouting: "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore."

[MadameWhispers]

Some days I get this crazy desire to walk into my boss' office and tell him that I spend most of my day jerking off online. Then after he fires me I would go home and tell my wife that I have cheated on her several times and that I will most likely do it again if I can find someone who will let me. I figure if I get it out there then I don't have to wonder what will happen if they find out on their own.

This is just a self destructive urge I get from time to time, and common sense takes over way before I ever really consider doing it. Does anyone else ever get these self destructive urges? Does anyone even understand where I am coming from at all?

we all get them justadude.... there are times when I am driving into work and see the sign to corpus christi.. and want to keep on driving to the beach....

one time I even had to walk out on my boss..... when she asked why I left I told her.... "I was imagining what your face would look like thru that glass window... that's why" from that point on... she has never asked me again... she know if I leave it's because I have to.... to cool off....

now... I just have a few cocktails.... until I don't care anymore...

[fever]

Rarely do I have the urge to say anything...but sometimes, as MW mentioned...I would give anything for the guts to get in the car and just follow my heart. Anyone else need a martini?

[Zak1000]

I'm in

[gdg]

Oh hell yeah! All the time, except I am not going to tell my boss I jerk off all day!

[glamourgirl]

sometimes...the best thing you can do is get away, before you hurt people that are innocent....
That being said, I think there comes a time when the choice to follow ones heart cant be denied any more.
It is a that point that consequences will have been weighed and the end result deemed worth the journey it takes to get there.
When our own desires and needs once again have permission to become a priority and what the world thinks, stops ruling our lives. When we realize the chidren really will understand one day and that they really do want our happiness as much as we want theirs. When the bosses actions are no longer worth the paycheck and when passionate hearts can no longer stay apart.
That is the day we take back control of our own life and choose to once again live on our terms.

[november]

oh, hell yes. i daydream about it occasionally. tell my boss she's nothing but a stupid car wash cunt, tell my husband i love him, but am no longer interested, tell him i've had an affair....just say fuck it, tell everyone what i really think.
i would never do this, of course. i need my shitty job, and i would never devastate my husband just to vent.
but it sure feels good to think about it.

[learman3]

all the time. I do not plan on telling anyone. I will just walk away and not be seen again.

[Brink]

Well, as part of the buzz for doing certain things is the thought of getting caught, I do like to entertain the idea! But, on a serious note, something happened a few weeks ago that made it all too apparent what would happen. I probably shouldn't mention it (self-destructive, much?) but I got a little careless in my ‘communications’ and a series of unfortunate events occurred...while my wife was present! Believe me; it would be highly amusing if I gave you the details! It wasn’t intentional at all, but, once it happened, it gave me the urge to reveal all about my online activities.

My wife is basically alright with me being here, and even about me chatting with someone, but I decided to be brutally honest with her. I thought some openness might just save the day! Well, that’s what my Mother always told me! Besides which, in order to cover up my blunder, I’d actually have to lie to her - and lie rather unbelievably. Because I’m an awful liar, she would have known, and she would have imagined the worse: that I was covering up a real life affair.

I suppose when you feel bad, and you know you’ve let people down, you want to feel punished...so, I put it all out there so she could have a proper dig at me – I sat there as she went ape, feeling like I deserved it. For added pain, I told my girlfriend what I’d done and she was also Not Pleased!!! Once the pity party was over, and the situation really dawned on me, I realised what a stupid move I’d made! Not just for myself (the situation was riddled with selfishness) but for the stability and trust in both relationships. If I’d have known what the day would bring when I woke up, I think I’d have gone back to bed! All’s well now...but people never forget!

[justadude]

Brink that was awesome. Not "I was cracking up so much" awesome, but "just what I needed to read" awesome. The reason I would never really follow my urge and actually tell on either point is for that very reason. I made the mistake once, a few years back, of telling my wife about my porn stash. I had hopes that she would watch them with me if I could be convincing enough. She got so pissed off, that all I could do is sit and listen to her yell and then cry while I wished to god that I could go back and untell her. Its not that I felt guilty or anything, I just had the urge to tell her and some idiot voice in my head made me honestly think that I could get her to watch it with me. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

[navigater]

i think about saying fuck it everyday and letting everything out, i worry about everyone elses happiness and well being before my own, especially the childrens..But one day, and it is a matter of time before i let it all out and head off into the sunset.
But with that said I just try to surround myself with positive people and good friends and make the most of what everyday has to offer...

[Brink]

Brink that was awesome. Not "I was cracking up so much" awesome, but "just what I needed to read" awesome. The reason I would never really follow my urge and actually tell on either point is for that very reason. I made the mistake once, a few years back, of telling my wife about my porn stash. I had hopes that she would watch them with me if I could be convincing enough. She got so pissed off, that all I could do is sit and listen to her yell and then cry while I wished to god that I could go back and untell her. Its not that I felt guilty or anything, I just had the urge to tell her and some idiot voice in my head made me honestly think that I could get her to watch it with me. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Yeah, I'm thinking if she gets that upset about some porn, tread very carefully with alleviating your conscience - when it feels appealing to you, don't do it for her sake! There's almost always another option. You can still treat her the best way you can. And you should! I just sit there and think to myself - none of this is easy, but I really ought to keep the burden to myself (ignoring the fact I just shared it with the forum!!)

[OnceAKing]

Good grief...grow some balls guys...I tell my wife everyday what I've done on here...on top of that I even let her read it...oh yeah, well there is the occasional, "I'm gonna grind your scrawny ass into the box springs tonight", usually followed by the, "I'm gonna suck your brains out through that pencil you call your dick"...but by the time we get to bed she's calmed down enough so that it's just the usual, "Makin the bacon" sort of porkin.

[dixiechiknga]

I thought I have bad days but DAMN you win!! LMAO:yks

[november]

Brink that was awesome. Not "I was cracking up so much" awesome, but "just what I needed to read" awesome. The reason I would never really follow my urge and actually tell on either point is for that very reason. I made the mistake once, a few years back, of telling my wife about my porn stash. I had hopes that she would watch them with me if I could be convincing enough. She got so pissed off, that all I could do is sit and listen to her yell and then cry while I wished to god that I could go back and untell her. Its not that I felt guilty or anything, I just had the urge to tell her and some idiot voice in my head made me honestly think that I could get her to watch it with me. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
i think it's a shame that some women react that way to porn. if they would just embrace it for the sexual stimulation it brings, maybe there wouldn't be so many sexual problems in so many marriages

[disturbiagirl]

I have the urge to clear my conscience quite often...but bite my tongue knowing that by doing so it would affect more than just my marriage. I have a friend I call (who knows the situation) and he "talks me down". But someday..........

[glamourgirl]

I must confess
I sure am enjoying reading the responses in this thread!
Knowing that I am not alone.... and that I have friends are walking in my shoes is good for me right now.... I think that one step at a time. I gather courage and strength from many of you.
A passionate person cannot live without passion for long, that much is clear here. It surfaces...somehow, someway it has to come through.

[scoobertina]

there is no job... so no there...
there is no spouse or SO... so no there...

but I have to say that I am tired of not having a job.. tired of not being able to find something.. tired of not being able to buy something even if I need it... I want to say fuck it all sometimes...

[Brak_45]

Someday I hope I have the guts to say WTF go for my dream and not my comfort

[Atrebla Rose]

Yes I do,,,then I remember everyone who relys on me, and would suffer or be lost,,,and I realize being a selfish bitch wont help anything!

[One Song Hero]

there is no job... so no there...
there is no spouse or SO... so no there...

but I have to say that I am tired of not having a job.. tired of not being able to find something.. tired of not being able to buy something even if I need it... I want to say fuck it all sometimes...
Don't say "enough". Help is on the way. Of course, so much still rests on your shoulders, but I've see those shoulders, they're pretty strong.

[PA Loverboy]

Some days I get this crazy desire to walk into my boss' office and tell him that I spend most of my day jerking off online. Then after he fires me I would go home and tell my wife that I have cheated on her several times and that I will most likely do it again if I can find someone who will let me. I figure if I get it out there then I don't have to wonder what will happen if they find out on their own.

This is just a self destructive urge I get from time to time, and common sense takes over way before I ever really consider doing it. Does anyone else ever get these self destructive urges? Does anyone even understand where I am coming from at all?

Oh yeah justadude...this is like every day for me.
Almost like living a double life....lots of things I wanna say but don't to keep the peace...or my job...or my family together.
But, I think with age & wisdom you learn to see the "big picture", and the results of telling someone off rarely outweigh the consequences in the end.

[OGP]

More and more I have the urge to just walk out the front door and never come back. It it weren't for the responsibility I feel towards my children I think I would be long gone. My youngest has 3 years left in high school. The day after he graduates will be a very interesting day.

[so_very_fine]

I suppose the bigger question might be what are we doing and why are we doing it? Telling is always in the back of my mind, but that is unwise. At one point I did say "fuck it" and asked for a divorce and devastated my husband and children. It was a huge mistake. Not that I revealed any of my extra criricular activities, but I pulled away the stability that has always come from me for all of them. I stayed and amuse myself in a variety of ways.

On a lighter note, a good remedy for this feeling is what I call a "one tank trip". When life gets to be too much, a girlfriend and I jump in the car and drive in a direction for one tank of gas. We get two hotel rooms and go out. Sometimes one of us has someone we know who is meeting us there, but mostly we just find willing "pain killers" at a local bar. Does wonders!!

[Singeon]

Some days I get this crazy desire to walk into my boss' office and tell him that I spend most of my day jerking off online. Then after he fires me I would go home and tell my wife that I have cheated on her several times and that I will most likely do it again if I can find someone who will let me. I figure if I get it out there then I don't have to wonder what will happen if they find out on their own.

This is just a self destructive urge I get from time to time, and common sense takes over way before I ever really consider doing it. Does anyone else ever get these self destructive urges? Does anyone even understand where I am coming from at all?

Do I get the same urges?...Dude..welcome to a large and growing band of brothers...it strikes every fkn waking hour of the day.

[lillypad]

heck i totaly agree with "More and more I have the urge to just walk out the front door and never come back. It it weren't for the responsibility I feel towards my children I think I would be long gone"
sad but soooooo true ,,,"


"Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend."