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kissme
08-31-2009, 11:16 AM
An invitation to those who need to get it off their chest....

Dear Mr. Spock,

I am writing this letter to let you know that I can't take this shit anymore. You are the most unaffectionate man I have ever known and despite the fact that I love you, it has gotten to the point that it is no longer enough.

When I am hurt and crying, you sit there stone faced with nothing to say, not even an "I'm Sorry" or "What can I do to help". There are no hugs, no kisses, no hand-holding, no touching, no phone calls, no flowers, no romance, no intimacy, no passion, no forgivness, no compliments, no cuddling, and having sex with you has become so routine and predictable that I feel as though I am having sex with a robot. We never make love, we just screw once in awhile. Same position, same routine, same sequence of events.

I don't understand why you insist on never listening to my wants and needs and instead you choose to ignore me. You work nights, I work days. I have never screwed around on you, I am home every night.....alone. I have no one to talk to. I am lonely and I need something more exciting in my life. I have not felt sexy, or desirable for years. I have tried leaving you love notes on the bathroom mirror, you never responded. I have tried making suggestive remarks, and you respond by giving me sarcasm and insults. I fantasize about other men while having sex with you. I fantasize about long passionate kisses whenever I see one on T.V. I don't understand why kissing me is so horrible for you. I don't understand why you are so cold and show no emotions.

You are suppose to be my best friend, my confidant, my lover, my soul mate and my equal. I have been forced it seems into finding other ways to feed my soul. Through my art, and my friends, my family (which you want nothing to do with), and now a forum in which I can flirt and be myself and feel sexy once in awhile.

You always manage to make me feel like the least important person in your life. Something else is always more important, your kids, you grandkids, your job.... How should I feel when your idea of a "family portrait" includes you, your kids, and your grandkids, but does not include me? We have been together for a long long time now and I don't see us growing old together. I see us growing apart. Soon, it will be too late to go back and fix it. Soon I will break out of this shell and spread my wings. I may end up alone, but at least it will be by choice, not because the person in my life chooses to not see me. I am invisible, I am nothing, I am tired, and I am unhappy. What will it take for you to see me? Do I just have to disappear? Will you only see me after I am gone and it's too late? I hope not.

Love,
Me

tn0949
08-31-2009, 11:24 AM
sorry kissme, i am kinda in the same type situtation, so i kinda know what you are goin through.

kissme
08-31-2009, 01:00 PM
Thanks, I just needed to get that off my chest. Were I to actually print the letter and give it to him, he wouldn't even acknowledge it, so I thought what the hell, I will print it here instead.

sexycoco
08-31-2009, 01:12 PM
your letter hit home with me , in almost the same situation

blu
08-31-2009, 01:42 PM
wow kissme, what a letter. so honest and complete, though so sad. you clearly communicate well, its a shame he doesnt. its also a shame that he doesnt know how good he has it having you. ((((((kissme))))) take care

learman3
08-31-2009, 02:07 PM
Kissme...your words hit home more than anything I have ever read. I have felt the same way for 15 years. I have lived with this and tried to figure out what is wrong with me. Why am I so unlikeable, so unable to be touched or needed. I would kill for someone to leave me notes, make flirty suggestions...to even notice me. I know how much it hurts and I am truly sorry that you are going through this. I don't feel anyone does. I hope you find your wings and discover what you truly need.

glamourgirl
08-31-2009, 03:56 PM
Kissme...your words hit home more than anything I have ever read. I have felt the same way for 15 years. I have lived with this and tried to figure out what is wrong with me. Why am I so unlikeable, so unable to be touched or needed. I would kill for someone to leave me notes, make flirty suggestions...to even notice me. I know how much it hurts

Oh my... I feel the same way...

Kissee, I am walking in your shoes and understand completely...
to have someone acknowledge that I exist, to touch me, look into my eyes, to listen or to make me feel that i matter at all would be so nice... just once in awhile...would make my day!

neil48
08-31-2009, 04:25 PM
for Kissme......(((hug))).....best I can do from here.

blu
08-31-2009, 04:55 PM
it seems to me, that some people desire and need the closeness, and romance, while others seem to do well without it. did we overlook their lack of needing these things when we married them? or did they just hide that fact well? either way, it sucks and i dont think you can make someone that doesnt want or need it, start to want or need it.

curiousity
08-31-2009, 05:33 PM
I couldn't have said it better myself. Thank you for sharing. I am in the same situation, hopefully I will break out of my shell soon, god knows I need to.

Roblookingforfun
08-31-2009, 06:09 PM
I'm new here as well and I think you're in the right place. I hope putting that down in text has helped you in some way feel better.

wan2b
08-31-2009, 07:33 PM
Kissme.........
What a shame to have such suffering, life is cruel. I hear these situations and god if I could only take some of the pain by giving you those thing that you want and deserve.

needsomething
08-31-2009, 08:47 PM
When I get overwhelmed I write a letter to my husband - sometimes I give them to him sometimes I don't. I find it helpful to go back and read it a few days later to see if it was the "heat of the moment" or real pain. I have expressed your same feelings many times - it's real pain.
Thank you. It's nice to know I'm not alone

dixiechiknga
08-31-2009, 08:59 PM
Amen Sista I know how you feel, great letter!

RuSH2me
09-02-2009, 12:56 AM
My little piece of advice. When you write a letter and do not give it to him, date it and keep it. Save them all, never throw them away. In time you get see how many times it has occured and get strength to move on. When you move on and start to doubt yourself, read the letters and recall the pain and keep moving forward, dont look back. Then one day you will meet someone new, someone special, some who loves you. Then you have moved past him and the letters can be destroyed.

3pmac
09-02-2009, 07:30 AM
Wow, that is an open, honest letter. Its terribly sad that it wouldnt even make an impact on him.

{{{hugs}}}, I wish noone had to deal with this kind of pain.

And to know there are so many here in the same situation makes it all the more worse.

Brak_45
09-02-2009, 08:32 AM
It took a rare strength to write and place it here for us...I for one will try to be worthy of that risk and trust

MuchachitaSpice
09-02-2009, 09:21 AM
WOW -- this reminds me of -- Mindy McCready's song "Maybe He'll notice Her Now" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3-mkKbeGZDM

happygirl101
09-02-2009, 09:45 AM
Kissme.....My heart and soul break for you and yet I identify with what you are saying so much I am moved to tears right now. It really is like being with a robot in so many ways. I will never understand how someone can be so devoid of feeling and want to stay in the situation. It has to be brutal for them as well. Have you ever felt the contempt exuding from them and thought why are you here? What is keeping you here with me because you obviously have no feeling for me or us.

I don't have the answers. I am at a crossroads and have to make a decision myself. I don't know whether to stay and fight and make it work or leave and find my happiness and spread my wings.

Good luck to you and remember we only have one life, one time in this world as we know it. What is most important. What is the legacy you want to leave? What are the memories and stories you want enter your old age reflecting upon? Its not just about the immediate need and what will happen, but long term. xoxoxox

lastnite1999
09-02-2009, 09:45 AM
What a sad condition, blind. If only some guys would wake up and live.

daisyduck
09-02-2009, 09:51 AM
i am in the same situation many times. so i feel your pain. hope you get some comfort in knowing that you can move on when you choose to. Hugs and Good luck

skysthelimit
10-13-2009, 09:39 AM
Dear Kissme,

I feel your pain, and I hope that things get better for you. Your letter is one that I could have written to my wife for many yrs. I know how it feels to seem so insignificant and how it can hurt when those feelings are channeled from the person to whom you are married and so desparately in love with.

I am lucky. In some regards, things have improved for us. Unfortunately the accummulated emotional damage feels irreparable. I find it so hard to give up on the person that I've been so in love with for so long. But age and toil makes a person eventually start looking out for themselves.

I do wish you the very best. God's speed to you.

Musing64
10-13-2009, 10:00 AM
Did you actually show this to Mr. Spock?

Did he respond?

Very interested to find out...

NurseDude66
10-13-2009, 10:04 AM
this is ache making

Carbine
10-16-2009, 01:32 PM
Wow, what a shame. I hope your feeling better. Not all men are that cold. It's not that bad here, but my wife is pretty much involved in her things. She loves sex, there is enough of it . Kind of one sided often though as far as effort to please. And in other areas of life I'm mostly on my own, but expected to be supportive. I kind of get it but you sound so lonely. Hope that some of the people here can strike that cord to give you a boost. I don't think you want to but sounds like you need to upgrade in your man.

kissme
10-19-2009, 11:12 AM
Did you actually show this to Mr. Spock?

Did he respond?

Very interested to find out...

No, I have not shown this to him. I know it would not make any difference. Thank you to all of you for your kinds words and encouragement. It's nice to know that I am not the only one feeling this way.