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Fillz
10-06-2009, 07:43 PM
New member looking for people who share the same problems and interests. Married 20 years. First 13 absolutely perfect years then all of a sudden wife says " Your a great father, provider, friend, husband even. But, I am not in love anymore and want a divorce!" After almost 1 year of stressing times and trying to cope and finally getting used to the idea of being alone - she says "I want to make it work." Ever since things have been ok other than I just put up a shield so I would not get hurt again. Now it just seems like we have nothing in common anymore and it's driving me crazy:yks I feel that there is so much I want to do with my life yet and she doesn't share the same desires. Am I destine to not do the thing I want to do, see the things I want to see? Thought I could get some advice here or if nothing else have some people who understand and will at least listen.

Enough about my situation. I look forward to participating and helping. 43 years old Northeast resident and successful professional who loves the simple things in life.

Fillz
gdg
10-06-2009, 07:46 PM
Welcome to the site, I am sure you will find many people who relate to your issues and are willing to share and even give you a smile along the way. :)
jenn315ifer
10-06-2009, 07:46 PM
New member looking for people who share the same problems and interests. Married 20 years. First 13 absolutely perfect years then all of a sudden wife says " Your a great father, provider, friend, husband even. But, I am not in love anymore and want a divorce!" After almost 1 year of stressing times and trying to cope and finally getting used to the idea of being alone - she says "I want to make it work." Ever since things have been ok other than I just put up a shield so I would not get hurt again. Now it just seems like we have nothing in common anymore and it's driving me crazy:yks I feel that there is so much I want to do with my life yet and she doesn't share the same desires. Am I destine to not do the thing I want to do, see the things I want to see? Thought I could get some advice here or if nothing else have some people who understand and will at least listen.

Enough about my situation. I look forward to participating and helping. 43 years old Northeast resident and successful professional who loves the simple things in life.

Fillz


Welcome Fillz. Lots of people here in the same situation and I have yet to encounter anyone who will not listen. Get to know people, have some fun and maybe make your days a little less stressed.

J
SunnyD
10-06-2009, 07:47 PM
Welcome and enjoy!
scoobertina
10-06-2009, 07:48 PM
welcome fillz.. they said it all.. you will find similar situations.. good luck.. and enjoy
sophia1
10-06-2009, 08:01 PM
hello and welcome hope you enjoy your time here
Fillz
10-06-2009, 08:05 PM
Thanks for making me feel welcome. Hope I can offer support to others as well.
redcat
10-06-2009, 09:00 PM
Hi Fillz, welcome to the site. Sounds like you'll fit in well here. Find your comfy chair, sit back...relax...and enjoy!!!!
dixiechiknga
10-06-2009, 09:13 PM
Welcome and enjoy the site!
needsomething
10-06-2009, 09:18 PM
Hello and welcome!
happygirl101
10-06-2009, 09:23 PM
New member looking for people who share the same problems and interests. Married 20 years. First 13 absolutely perfect years then all of a sudden wife says " Your a great father, provider, friend, husband even. But, I am not in love anymore and want a divorce!" After almost 1 year of stressing times and trying to cope and finally getting used to the idea of being alone - she says "I want to make it work." Ever since things have been ok other than I just put up a shield so I would not get hurt again. Now it just seems like we have nothing in common anymore and it's driving me crazy:yks I feel that there is so much I want to do with my life yet and she doesn't share the same desires. Am I destine to not do the thing I want to do, see the things I want to see? Thought I could get some advice here or if nothing else have some people who understand and will at least listen.

Enough about my situation. I look forward to participating and helping. 43 years old Northeast resident and successful professional who loves the simple things in life.

Fillz




:yksOMG Fillz...not quite the same but...
Northeast
Pain in the ass spouse
21 yrs of marriage
many very good
last 6 mths miserable
He is cheating and wants to be with her (June)
Yes he want a divorce (July-August)
I realise this may be right and get on board (September)
He changes his mind and wants it to work out (October)
I am now in a state of confusion as what to do and so stressed out to make the right decision for me and my family
Advice??? I dont know but i can listen and be a friend

Welcome to the site!!!:ok
3pmac
10-07-2009, 08:08 AM
Welcome to the site.
FLPhil70
10-07-2009, 08:33 AM
Welcome! And in case you're wondering, the profile picts you see by all the women's posts are REALLY them! ;)
Frenchie_lady
10-07-2009, 09:48 AM
Welcome and enjoy!
Fillz
10-08-2009, 12:46 PM
HappyGirl101, I bet we could exchange some stories... Yours is pretty fresh and I'm sure your going through some crszy emotions as I did back then? One thing I would say is if my wife cheated on me (at least that I knew, and sometimes I wonder), I would of walked and never forgave. But, thats just me as I believe once a cheat always a cheat and I'm worth mote than that... After so many years it is TOUGH to figure out where to even start?? I'm a good listener, if I can share how I got/get through things feel free to drop me a message..
jmsmith12345
10-08-2009, 12:51 PM
Go buy a $25,000 motorcycle and pick up hot chicks at not so local bars. Blame it all on a mid-life crisis...tell your wife you need time to think and finally run off to Puerto Vallarta and shack up with a 23 year old stripper named Maria. :D
wisconsin(m)
10-08-2009, 12:52 PM
HappyGirl101, I bet we could exchange some stories... Yours is pretty fresh and I'm sure your going through some crszy emotions as I did back then? One thing I would say is if my wife cheated on me (at least that I knew, and sometimes I wonder), I would of walked and never forgave. But, thats just me as I believe once a cheat always a cheat and I'm worth mote than that... After so many years it is TOUGH to figure out where to even start?? I'm a good listener, if I can share how I got/get through things feel free to drop me a message..


Those are rather high standards your setting for yourself (I assume it goes both ways) Remember them well as you may just be tempted at this little playground...... just sayin
Jada101
10-08-2009, 12:53 PM
Welcom Fillz...I think you'll find a lot in common with many people here. Enjoy the site!
leighm
10-08-2009, 06:52 PM
Hello, welcome and good luck.
Fillz
10-08-2009, 07:00 PM
Wisconsin,

Maybe high standards, but I give the same standards I expect. I'm not treating this site as a playground it that way. Some innocent fun, good conversation, and some honest people who share my situation and
help me when I need it. Hope I'm in the right place?

Thanks again everyone for welcoming me...
redcat
10-08-2009, 07:47 PM
Hi again Fillz. Sounds like you're in the right place. As in any other place...you'll find innocent and no-so-innocent fun..honest and dishonest people...just have to figure it all out, but without the visual and vocal cues. lol.

We really do have a good group of people here, hope you'll enjoy.
bostonbizbiz
10-08-2009, 08:18 PM
good luck !!!! I am newbie but people seem very nice and some very funny banter
BlueEyedMale40
10-11-2009, 01:45 AM
Welcome fillz.
NaughtyAngel
10-11-2009, 02:03 AM
welome and enjoy
seankun2002
10-13-2009, 10:33 AM
welcome fillz
Lookin4Fun1021
10-13-2009, 10:19 PM
Welcome to the site Fillz. Hope you find what you are looking for. Great people here. Relax and have fun!
HlpMeEscpe
10-13-2009, 10:58 PM
Hi Fillz, welcome aboard and hope you find a little of what you are looking for here
Carbine
10-14-2009, 06:22 AM
Welcome. I'm new too. My situation isn't quite the same, but married 28 years, get along fine with my wife. The sex is still good but she's bored, I'm bored so we've decided we are not really the uptight types so let's explore a little. I haven't flirted seriously in 30 years, so shaking the rust off along with getting the hang of doing it on the computer. Good luck, happy hunting.
MadameWhispers
10-14-2009, 07:59 AM
Hello again.......

been married = 29
hubby ill..... hangin on.... so I'm meeting my promise to care for him till the end.....

can fully understand where you are coming from......
Brak_45
10-14-2009, 08:11 AM
Welcome Fillz, Carbine,and Whispers...this is a great place with alot of great poeple to share and talk,flirt and become friends and more( haven't been there yet and if it happens cool otherwise I am still having a great time and hope you do as well.)
livin42day
10-14-2009, 04:21 PM
welcome to the site
glamourgirl
10-14-2009, 09:21 PM
welcome and have fun!
theGardener
10-17-2009, 11:18 AM
Hello Fillz. Wow. You are having struggles. I have a few with my wife, too. May I suggest two books to you? "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work" by John Gottman. The other is "Resurrecting Sex", by David Schnarch. They have been helpful to my wife and me. We may not be able to fix everything in our marriage, but the books have been helpful and practical in making what we do have better. I suggest you start with the Seven Principles book and make it a joint project with your wife if you can. You will probably have to order the books on line. I did, since they are not normally stocked. Good luck!

- Gardener