arrrrrgh ? for the ladies

[lightningflash]

so lets say you are pulling some serious over time... working til 7am till midnight all week..... your husband says hey give me a call before you leave to grab something to eat...... what would you do.. so i'm talking to her.. im at home shes at work... i was im ing her and said hey i'll brb... and i had asked her to give me a call before she left to go get dinner.... well i tell her i'll brb and to hold on, everytime she said she was hungry i stalled.... ding the lasagna is done and i'm off racing down the road to her work... kids in the back.. cause i knew she was missing them too... i call and talk to her and she says shes on her way to subway like pulling in the parking lot... and i say well go back to work i'm on my way with dinner and the kids... and i get a reply of... WELL you are lucky i didn' already go and eat....... umm i wasn't gonna come out and tell her hey i'm bringing you dinner.. .i didn't want to ruin the surprise.. so we go back and forth.. i get a thanks when i get there then leave..... what the hell... then when she finally gets home... she actually came home way early tonight instead of midnight like the rest of the week... she goes up stairs and starts working on her pics (photography is her part time job) then when i go to bed and don't say anything... she asks is something wrong...... arrrrghh sorry just venting y'all

[Suzy_Q]

so lets say you are pulling some serious over time... working til 7am till midnight all week..... your husband says hey give me a call before you leave to grab something to eat...... what would you do.. so i'm talking to her.. im at home shes at work... i was im ing her and said hey i'll brb... and i had asked her to give me a call before she left to go get dinner.... well i tell her i'll brb and to hold on, everytime she said she was hungry i stalled.... ding the lasagna is done and i'm off racing down the road to her work... kids in the back.. cause i knew she was missing them too... i call and talk to her and she says shes on her way to subway like pulling in the parking lot... and i say well go back to work i'm on my way with dinner and the kids... and i get a reply of... WELL you are lucky i didn' already go and eat....... umm i wasn't gonna come out and tell her hey i'm bringing you dinner.. .i didn't want to ruin the surprise.. so we go back and forth.. i get a thanks when i get there then leave..... what the hell... then when she finally gets home... she actually came home way early tonight instead of midnight like the rest of the week... she goes up stairs and starts working on her pics (photography is her part time job) then when i go to bed and don't say anything... she asks is something wrong...... arrrrghh sorry just venting y'all

Don't be sorry flash...it sometimes helps to vent out...I do it quite abit...when something is bothering me I usually go and start on some unfinished housework and talk out loud while doing it, and my kids always ask me why I do it..I just tell them its my way of getting things out in the open without making someone mad.

[Cotties]

I see now why you focused on the ladies responses to the post.. It made no sense to me....:sc so lets say you are pulling some serious over time... working til 7am till midnight all week..... your husband says hey give me a call before you leave to grab something to eat...... what would you do.. so i'm talking to her.. im at home shes at work... i was im ing her and said hey i'll brb... and i had asked her to give me a call before she left to go get dinner.... well i tell her i'll brb and to hold on, everytime she said she was hungry i stalled.... ding the lasagna is done and i'm off racing down the road to her work... kids in the back.. cause i knew she was missing them too... i call and talk to her and she says shes on her way to subway like pulling in the parking lot... and i say well go back to work i'm on my way with dinner and the kids... and i get a reply of... WELL you are lucky i didn' already go and eat....... umm i wasn't gonna come out and tell her hey i'm bringing you dinner.. .i didn't want to ruin the surprise.. so we go back and forth.. i get a thanks when i get there then leave..... what the hell... then when she finally gets home... she actually came home way early tonight instead of midnight like the rest of the week... she goes up stairs and starts working on her pics (photography is her part time job) then when i go to bed and don't say anything... she asks is something wrong...... arrrrghh sorry just venting y'all

[Suzy_Q]

I see now why you focused on the ladies responses to the post.. It made no sense to me....:sc

It made sense to me...he was doing somethime nice and sweet for his wife and she didn't thank him enough...when My hubby did that for me when I was working,as soon as I got home I showed him how much I appreciated it...his wife could have done more than just say "thanks"

not trying to make you mad cotties...if I did I'm sorry...

[tiger50]

It made sense to me...he was doing somethime nice and sweet for his wife and she didn't thank him enough...when My hubby did that for me when I was working,as soon as I got home I showed him how much I appreciated it...his wife could have done more than just say "thanks"

not trying to make you mad cotties...if I did I'm sorry...


gday suzy owya goin gal... :kk think cotties meant it didnt make sense to him why she didnt show more appreciation.. and perhaps the ladies responses could shed some light on it... dont worry bout makin cotties mad, he already is... but hes a big boy...lol:D

[Cotties]

why on earth would I get mad...silly billy...;) It made sense to me...he was doing somethime nice and sweet for his wife and she didn't thank him enough...when My hubby did that for me when I was working,as soon as I got home I showed him how much I appreciated it...his wife could have done more than just say "thanks"

not trying to make you mad cotties...if I did I'm sorry...

[Suzy_Q]

gday suzy owya goin gal... :kk think cotties meant it didnt make sense to him why she didnt show more appreciation.. and perhaps the ladies responses could shed some light on it... dont worry bout makin cotties mad, he already is... but hes a big boy...lol:D

BIG OOPS I read it wrong...and also all this time I thought cotties was a woman..another BIG OOPS

[tiger50]

BIG OOPS I read it wrong...and also all this time I thought cotties was a woman..another BIG OOPS

:lmao :lmao :lmao he is a bit of a girl....lol

[Suzy_Q]

why on earth would I get mad...silly billy...;)

Because I read your post wrong...I thought you were getting at how what flash said didn't make since to you...

[Cotties]

you thought I was a women. no wonder you didn't want to cyber with me..


shit..you women see what you have done. I try being nice for a week because of that shiane womens thread and now feel like a poof....

it still didn't make sense to me..but I only read every second line..:sc
BIG OOPS I read it wrong...and also all this time I thought cotties was a woman..another BIG OOPS

[Norfolkdave]

BIG OOPS I read it wrong...and also all this time I thought cotties was a woman..another BIG OOPS

OH I like it Suzy Oh brilliant..................Cotties doll, come here babes and give us a kiss:lmao :lmao :lmao :lmao

[Norfolkdave]

you thought I was a women. no wonder you didn't want to cyber with me..


shit..you women see what you have done. I try being nice for a week because of that shiane womens thread and now feel like a poof....

it still didn't make sense to me..but I only read every second line..:sc

Hello Doll, love the hairy legs, do you wanna see my sausage:knuddel: :D

[Sandy]

well flash i don't know if this helps. but i kinda did the same thing to mark. but i was so tired i just wanted to relax, and didn't think about what he had done for me. no excuse i know. but the next day i more than made up for it. maybe she was so tired she knew what you did ok. it just didn't register though.

[tiger50]

well flash i don't know if this helps. but i kinda did the same thing to mark. but i was so tired i just wanted to relax, and didn't think about what he had done for me. no excuse i know. but the next day i more than made up for it. maybe she was so tired she knew what you did ok. it just didn't register though.

bitch..lol , just kiddin.... :D

[Sandy]

awe thank you tiger. first compliment you ever gave me........... i know i'm a bitch and proud of it. :D :na

[tiger50]

awe thank you tiger. first compliment you ever gave me........... i know i'm a bitch and proud of it. :D :na

lol i did ad a jk... :kk

[Sandy]

i know.... i ignored that part. :D

[tiger50]

kk we'll start agin.. bitch... no bluddie jk... lol

[Sandy]

ok ho dag. :D

[tiger50]

ok ho dag. :D
wtf is a ho dag???? :sc

[Seeker]

Flash, I too have been through this. My wife manages a conveinience store and regularly pulls similar shifts. Bring this to her attention, and once she realises what is going on you should recieve the thanks you were looking for! This was no small feat you did!

On the other hand, working those kind of hours is both tiring and stressful. be patient, and things will work out!

[lightningflash]

i have... and she has... so you did it to expect something in return? i did the same thing when she wasn't working the extra hours.. i had flowers delivered to her work out of the blue... i got a hey did you send me flowers thanks...... that was about it.... i've written her cards, love notes... and same reaction..... just running out of ideas ya know....i show i appreciate her all the time... and ive talked to her about this ... just doesn't seem to register just make her mad that i'm expecting something in return.... which im not... just more than a thank you.. hell i would setlle for a knock my socks off kiss.

[tiger50]

i have... and she has... so you did it to expect something in return? i did the same thing when she wasn't working the extra hours.. i had flowers delivered to her work out of the blue... i got a hey did you send me flowers thanks...... that was about it.... i've written her cards, love notes... and same reaction..... just running out of ideas ya know....i show i appreciate her all the time... and ive talked to her about this ... just doesn't seem to register just make her mad that i'm expecting something in return.... which im not... just more than a thank you.. hell i would setlle for a knock my socks off kiss.

fair call mate, yeh that makes it hard... :D

[spare_change]

i have... and she has... so you did it to expect something in return? i did the same thing when she wasn't working the extra hours.. i had flowers delivered to her work out of the blue... i got a hey did you send me flowers thanks...... that was about it.... i've written her cards, love notes... and same reaction..... just running out of ideas ya know....i show i appreciate her all the time... and ive talked to her about this ... just doesn't seem to register just make her mad that i'm expecting something in return.... which im not... just more than a thank you.. hell i would setlle for a knock my socks off kiss.

When I was in the service, we had a saying... "If you do it once, you own it." Well, that's what is happening here -- by doing these things all the times, you have conditioned her to expect these things. There's nothing special about doing the same old thing. So quit -- maybe next time, she will appreciate it.

[Shiane]

so lets say you are pulling some serious over time... working til 7am till midnight all week..... your husband says hey give me a call before you leave to grab something to eat...... what would you do.. so i'm talking to her.. im at home shes at work... i was im ing her and said hey i'll brb... and i had asked her to give me a call before she left to go get dinner.... well i tell her i'll brb and to hold on, everytime she said she was hungry i stalled.... ding the lasagna is done and i'm off racing down the road to her work... kids in the back.. cause i knew she was missing them too... i call and talk to her and she says shes on her way to subway like pulling in the parking lot... and i say well go back to work i'm on my way with dinner and the kids... and i get a reply of... WELL you are lucky i didn' already go and eat....... umm i wasn't gonna come out and tell her hey i'm bringing you dinner.. .i didn't want to ruin the surprise.. so we go back and forth.. i get a thanks when i get there then leave..... what the hell... then when she finally gets home... she actually came home way early tonight instead of midnight like the rest of the week... she goes up stairs and starts working on her pics (photography is her part time job) then when i go to bed and don't say anything... she asks is something wrong...... arrrrghh sorry just venting y'all

Ok so I just erased everything lol sounds like you are doing your hardest, not sure what to tell you other than i hope she wakes up and sees what she has.

[spare_change]

Flash I know you feel unappreciated and that your very sweet and thoughtful gesture went unnoticed, and maybe it did. Sometimes we all get so caught up in the daily grind that we forget whats important. Sometimes we need someone to say hey you need to slow down and take a deep breath and look to those people who who mean the most to us. My suggestion is not to just let it go and not say anything about it, maybe she needs a wake up call. Maybe you should just say hun, I just want to tell you something. The other night when I fixed dinner and brought it to you I feel like you could have been more appreciative. I would have loved for you to say wow that was sweet and thoughtful it was and instead of you starting to work on your photography I would have liked for you to have spent 10 minutes with me. I know your work keeps you busy and away from the house, but when things get busy just remember I love you and the kids love you and we miss you when you are not here.
Don't be judgemental, and be sure to say you know how hard she works. I think she will see your point.

Yeah, right!

[Shiane]

Yeah, right!

Sheeeeesh Spare you didn't even give me time to erase that stuff lol! I didn't see his 2nd post.:na

Oh well! So since it isn't her first offense I think a swift kick in the ass sounds like the appropriate response. PM me to get my price list flash, ass kickins $100 bucks but just so you know pulling hair is extra.:nu

[spare_change]

By the way, Shiane -- I really like that signature line!!! And, I was sooo looking forward to a lollipop !!!

[dartgirl]

For a different point of view. For years I have done things for my hubby. Made sure I was home when he got there, made his favorite meals, bought his favorite things, in general just tried to make him happy. He appreciated it but didn't seem to respond the way I expected--this has been going on for alot of years. Well a few months ago it finally dawned on him that I was not quite as happy as he thought. So he has really gotten into the mushy notes and flowers crap lately. But now I am not really interested in it anymore.
I realize this really doesn't have anything to do with anything. Just venting too!

[Shiane]

By the way, Shiane -- I really like that signature line!!! And, I was sooo looking forward to a lollipop !!!

a lollipop or an all night sucker? ;)

[Norfolkdave]

a lollipop or an all night sucker? ;)

Heh heh anychance of an alnight sucker

[spare_change]

For a different point of view. For years I have done things for my hubby. Made sure I was home when he got there, made his favorite meals, bought his favorite things, in general just tried to make him happy. He appreciated it but didn't seem to respond the way I expected--this has been going on for alot of years. Well a few months ago it finally dawned on him that I was not quite as happy as he thought. So he has really gotten into the mushy notes and flowers crap lately. But now I am not really interested in it anymore.
I realize this really doesn't have anything to do with anything. Just venting too!

It does apply, dart ---- what did you do that made him aware? How did he get the message?

[spare_change]

a lollipop or an all night sucker? ;)

I got a feeling if I went for the all night sucker, I would come out looking like a prune and weighing about 40 pounds. Aw hell -- I'm willing to risk it !!!

[Shiane]

Heh heh anychance of an alnight sucker

LOL sorry Dave like my signature says i'm all out of lollipops. :(

[Norfolkdave]

LOL sorry Dave like my signature says i'm all out of lollipops. :(

Damm, And I wanted something sweet to suck on too, LOL :lmaoNot my day:cry:

[Shiane]

I got a feeling if I went for the all night sucker, I would come out looking like a prune and weighing about 40 pounds. Aw hell -- I'm willing to risk it !!!

You remember that owl from the tootsie pop commercial? I think I might have her phone number somehwere, see how many licks it takes her to get to the creamy center.

a oneeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, a twooooooooooooooo, a threeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! :na

[dartgirl]

It does apply, dart ---- what did you do that made him aware? How did he get the message?

I guess I was getting more and more remote, not talking much. That and I was spending alot of time talking to one of the guys I worked with. I finally told him I wanted a divorce, he doesn't agree and I can't afford to leave right now.

[Shiane]

I guess I was getting more and more remote, not talking much. That and I was spending alot of time talking to one of the guys I worked with. I finally told him I wanted a divorce, he doesn't agree and I can't afford to leave right now.

I hope all works out well for you dart. Girl i hear ya loud and clear, sometimes in a marriage people grow apart after being neglected, unappreciated. Sometimes your partner figures that out a little to late, even after repeated attempts by you to fix things. Regardless of how much attention or romantic gestures he now showers you with the damage is already done and the desire to fix the marriage is now one sided. :( Sorry girl, i know it's rough.

[lightningflash]

well we have talked about it... she gets mad when i bring it up again.. saying didn't we already talk about this... my answer... yes but nothing has changed... so i'm done... no more doing anything for her... i've been realy frank and she keeps asking whats the matter... she knows.... she just doesn't care i dunno..... htanks for the advise everyone though

[Jy]

Hey Lightning, I just read all the posts on this thread, and you've recieved some good advice from everyone. I'm going to add something my mom told me when I was just a little girl and one of my so-called friends had mistreated me...

There are two kinds of people in the world: givers and takers, and the takers will always find a taker. Guess what? My husband is a taker, and after giving him everything until I had nothing left, I had to start taking care of myself. I'm still a good wife and mother and take care of all my responsiblities, and even do some thoughtful things for him, but I don't shed blood for him like I used to, and I never expect any acknowledgement. If I had a husband like you, I would be so grateful and would be going out of my way to repay your thoughtfulness. Save all those special little favours for people who truly see what they are: a gift of oneself. Dote on your children, your family, your friends. That's what I do, and then I feel better.
One more point...
If she was so damn tired from work, why didn't she go to bed instead of working on her photos?
well we have talked about it... she gets mad when i bring it up again.. saying didn't we already talk about this... my answer... yes but nothing has changed... so i'm done... no more doing anything for her... i've been realy frank and she keeps asking whats the matter... she knows.... she just doesn't care i dunno..... htanks for the advise everyone though

[lightningflash]

Hey Lightning, I just read all the posts on this thread, and you've recieved some good advice from everyone. I'm going to add something my mom told me when I was just a little girl and one of my so-called friends had mistreated me...

There are two kinds of people in the world: givers and takers, and the takers will always find a taker. Guess what? My husband is a taker, and after giving him everything until I had nothing left, I had to start taking care of myself. I'm still a good wife and mother and take care of all my responsiblities, and even do some thoughtful things for him, but I don't shed blood for him like I used to, and I never expect any acknowledgement. If I had a husband like you, I would be so grateful and would be going out of my way to repay your thoughtfulness. Save all those special little favours for people who truly see what they are: a gift of oneself. Dote on your children, your family, your friends. That's what I do, and then I feel better.
One more point...
If she was so damn tired from work, why didn't she go to bed instead of working on her photos?



hey maybe i should buy you the flowers next time

[Thighmaster]

Hey Lightning, I just read all the posts on this thread, and you've recieved some good advice from everyone. I'm going to add something my mom told me when I was just a little girl and one of my so-called friends had mistreated me...

There are two kinds of people in the world: givers and takers, and the takers will always find a taker. Guess what? My husband is a taker, and after giving him everything until I had nothing left, I had to start taking care of myself. I'm still a good wife and mother and take care of all my responsiblities, and even do some thoughtful things for him, but I don't shed blood for him like I used to, and I never expect any acknowledgement. If I had a husband like you, I would be so grateful and would be going out of my way to repay your thoughtfulness. Save all those special little favours for people who truly see what they are: a gift of oneself. Dote on your children, your family, your friends. That's what I do, and then I feel better.
One more point...
If she was so damn tired from work, why didn't she go to bed instead of working on her photos?

I've found that if you stop giving for a while... a taker will start to notice and perhaps start giving themselves. Doesn't always work though.

[lightningflash]

yeah with her it wont... she'll just ask.. what the hell my problem is

[spare_change]

You remember that owl from the tootsie pop commercial? I think I might have her phone number somehwere, see how many licks it takes her to get to the creamy center.

a oneeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, a twooooooooooooooo, a threeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! :na

Hell, that's one more than needed to get to my creamy center!

[lightningflash]

mmmmm thats wierd but they have a whole website devoted to that kinda thing