Suicide Over A Broken Heart

[Penny]

Anyone actually ever thought about suicide after a break up?

[Krazi0469]

Actually yea i have but i have my family and friends do think about... i wouldn't dare to do commit suicide over some boy.... even though i love him with all of my heart... i love my family and friends more than that..

Anyone actually ever thought about suicide after a break up?

[Annie]

No, but I have thought about it when I thought I had no way out of my former marriage. I figured it would save him the trouble of doing it for me.

[Cotties]

Why Ms Penny and what brought this question forward?


My answer is no. I have always had reckless behaviour to make myself feel better.
Anyone actually ever thought about suicide after a break up?

[sweetgapeach]

Maybe when I was younger , but No



That scares me , I think it's the worst Sin

[Sandy]

no thats a cop out to me.

[Krazi0469]

I agree i also believe it's the worst sin ever.... and like i said b4 i couldn't do that to my family and friends....

Maybe when I was younger , but No



That scares me , I think it's the worst Sin

[sweetgapeach]

I agree i also believe it's the worst sin ever.... and like i said b4 i couldn't do that to my family and friends....


Thats what I think about too , I couldnt Ever let my Babies be without me !!

[bonzzz4292]

now that i do have a family there is no way i would even think of that.

it is the easy way out permanantly. not good for any body.

[cherokeered]

Anyone actually ever thought about suicide after a break up?


Nah...there isnt anyone in the world worth my life or the effort.....


Cherokee....

[bonzzz4292]

True true there is none worth my life if i cannot be there with them.



Nah...there isnt anyone in the world worth my life or the effort.....


Cherokee....

[Seeker]

Once, ever so briefly, and so long ago. Through that I came to realize that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Also, as mentioned above, the heartache it would cause those left behind, would be absolutely horrendous.


Penny, what brought this on? PM me if you want.
Anyone actually ever thought about suicide after a break up?

[Shiane]

I dunno, I know people can get really depressed and they do things that the rest of us can't understand. Even if we talked to them right before they did it, we still wouldn't understand their reasoning.

I've seen it happen a lot though. The ones who seriously tried to kill themselves were obviously very unstable, no way to reason with them what so ever. I've seen a lot of people do it just for the attention, preying on the sympathies of the significant other. Sometimes it worked, most times it didn't, sometimes they died and really didn't want too.

Out of everything I've seen in my career, I hate overdoses the worst.

[Seeker]

Very true! I dunno, I know people can get really depressed and they do things that the rest of us can't understand. Even if we talked to them right before they did it, we still wouldn't understand their reasoning.

I've seen it happen a lot though. The ones who seriously tried to kill themselves were obviously very unstable, no way to reason with them what so ever. I've seen a lot of people do it just for the attention, preying on the sympathies of the significant other. Sometimes it worked, most times it didn't, sometimes they died and really didn't want too.

Out of everything I've seen in my career, I hate overdoses the worst.

[Cotties]

O.D's are the strangest behaviour. Its like when they get revived from near death all they think about is nothing of any importance so no lesson was learned. Heroine use can be just a slow and painless attempted suicide that wreeks havok in a community. I feel for your discomfort Shiane.I dunno, I know people can get really depressed and they do things that the rest of us can't understand. Even if we talked to them right before they did it, we still wouldn't understand their reasoning.

I've seen it happen a lot though. The ones who seriously tried to kill themselves were obviously very unstable, no way to reason with them what so ever. I've seen a lot of people do it just for the attention, preying on the sympathies of the significant other. Sometimes it worked, most times it didn't, sometimes they died and really didn't want too.

Out of everything I've seen in my career, I hate overdoses the worst.

[Norfolkdave]

Im sorry to say long long ago in the 70s I suffered a terrible nervous breakdown and was on valium for `10 years. I couldnt walk down the street, fear of people and vehicles, I was a total rebel with the places I was put to gain respect and put my life back in order. Yes I did OD, I was rushed to hospital my stomach being pumped, then I realised the stupidity I had done and this believe it or not got me back on the road to recovery, `10 long years it took, but now Im better, I have had off days in the past and taken a valiam of a mere 2grms and it slows you down, but living in the country I feel 100% better, but when I first had the breakdown I didnt know where I was or whjat was happening, and I dont wish that on anyone.

[Zpanther]

No. I agree with Cherokee and Seeker. Nobody worth ending my life for..... and it IS a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

[G...G]

When I was younger .......... YES

NOW ..... NEVER.... nobody is worth ending your life over!!!!!!

[dartgirl]

When my first husband had me so emotionally messed up it seemed like it might be a good way out. But he went to jail instead.
A few months ago, before I found this site there was enough stuff going on in my life I was toying with the idea. To many responsibilities to actually follow through but I was depressed enough to give it serious though. I'm much better now though, coming here and talking to all of you has helped bunches.

[Penny]

WOW :kk



When my first husband had me so emotionally messed up it seemed like it might be a good way out. But he went to jail instead.
A few months ago, before I found this site there was enough stuff going on in my life I was toying with the idea. To many responsibilities to actually follow through but I was depressed enough to give it serious though. I'm much better now though, coming here and talking to all of you has helped bunches.

[PlayfulMale69]

WOW :kk

I agree, WOW. Penny, just think of the good your site is doing to those of us who are frustrated from time to time. This place is such a great outlet. For one thing I can see that others are dealing with the same struggles I am. :kk

As far as the suicide question goes, I have never seriously considered it, but I have thought of short cut ways out of pain such as run away from my problems. The thing of it is, the problem that is inside of me would come with me. Now that I older, I realize life is too short to run away. ;)

[Penny]

Life is to short. To short to give up on that is for sure

[sex_kitten_4u]

yes many years ago i actually tried but they found me in time

[Penny]

U serious :(

[G...G]

:kk



yes many years ago i actually tried but they found me in time

[jmc3367]

I have thought about it but only for a moment. and only when I was really at my wits end

[sex_kitten_4u]

U serious :(

yes penny i am

[G...G]

I think it's pretty normal to think about it!! I was on some medication a few years back and got really depressed. I constantly thought of it and then finally realized that it was the medication that was making me have crazy thoughts. Of course, I stopped taking it!!



I have thought about it but only for a moment. and only when I was really at my wits end

[Penny]

Im glad your ok now :)



yes penny i am

[Wet Beaver]

many years ago..i attempted ...but it wasn't over a break up.....

[JustChuteMe]

Never...I dont allow myself the luxury of depression... when things go bad, I just think about others whose problems are so much worse than my own and continue on.

[Annie]

Never...I dont allow myself the luxury of depression... when things go bad, I just think about others whose problems are so much worse than my own and continue on.

I never thought of mental illness as a luxury. Depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain, how sad that you consider the mentally ill as being in "luxury"!

[JustChuteMe]

I dont consider a mental illness as a luxury... I misspoke ... i meant being depressed. There is always someone who has it worse than you and I just prefer to remember that when I have a reason to get depressed. My son had cancer, I was depressed until I realised others in the hospital wing had terminal cancer. My son's was succesfully removed without spreading. We all have problems. I just prefer to move on and not dwell on them.

[Annie]

I dont consider a mental illness as a luxury... I misspoke ... i meant being depressed. There is always someone who has it worse than you and I just prefer to remember that when I have a reason to get depressed. My son had cancer, I was depressed until I realised others in the hospital wing had terminal cancer. My son's was succesfully removed without spreading. We all have problems. I just prefer to move on and not dwell on them.

Depression is an illness, unhappiness is not, at least that's what my last psychiatrist told me. You had a reason to be sad and concerned. The fact that you were able to pull yourself out it means that it is just that, sadness and concern. Depression is not something you can pull yourself out of any more than you can pull yourself out of a bout of diabetes!

http://www.nimh.nih.gov/publicat/depression.cfm

[sexytxblonde]

Not suicide, but homicide - yes! lol After dating a guy for a few months I found out he was married with a child - i was so mad i wanted to kill him. :nu When I found out, I confronted him, he freaked out and then I never spoke to him again.

One of my best friends in high school lost her lil sister to a murder-suicide. :cry:She was such a sweet, happy, popular girl. It was so sad. He was driving her home from school one day and she broke up with him. He pulled over to the side of the road, put a gun to her head and killed her, then put it in his mouth and killed himself. None of us saw it coming. He wasn't a violent person either.

[Penny]

Thats sick :(

[DukesLady66]

1997 I tried and nearlly succeeded..since them have dealt with post traumatic depression. Really broke my heart the whole mess.

Wouldn't now tho..realized no one is worth trying that again for...

[sex_kitten_4u]

1997 I tried and nearlly succeeded..since them have dealt with post traumatic depression. Really broke my heart the whole mess.

Wouldn't now tho..realized no one is worth trying that again for...

i know exactly what youmean lady i have been there myself:wa:

[Penny]

I'm glad your doing better :kk



1997 I tried and nearlly succeeded..since them have dealt with post traumatic depression. Really broke my heart the whole mess.

Wouldn't now tho..realized no one is worth trying that again for...

[sweet]

1997 I tried and nearlly succeeded..since them have dealt with post traumatic depression. Really broke my heart the whole mess.

Wouldn't now tho..realized no one is worth trying that again for...

:kk So glad you're here with us hun.

[Annie]

1997 I tried and nearlly succeeded..since them have dealt with post traumatic depression. Really broke my heart the whole mess.

Wouldn't now tho..realized no one is worth trying that again for...


Awe Dukes! You and I have a couple of things in common. I am very familiar with that whole PTSD thing...

[Misty]

1997 I tried and nearlly succeeded..since them have dealt with post traumatic depression. Really broke my heart the whole mess.

Wouldn't now tho..realized no one is worth trying that again for...

Nothing and nobody is worth taking your life for
glad you got over that :kk

[DukesLady66]

Thanks for the welcome ya'll...

Yea you never really appreciate or think you love someone so much til you lose them. As I told my friend what's worse than them passing away is they are close but you can't see them..or they won't talk to you.

[Alonelyboy4u]

After my first marriage I had for quite a while but thoughts of my daughter not having a father kept me from ever going through with it.

[UltimateNaneki]

1994 was a year I thought of suicide because the love of my life had died....we had but 6months together and I thought I just could not live without him. Well now 13yrs later, I am a stronger person because of him and I will always remember his smile. I choose life!

[milf_hunter916]

no man or women is worth your life its jsut folks get so enveloped and consumed by a relationship its much better to go have hot sex and relive some stres.......

[spare_change]

Of course.

[JCcanU]

Yep Summer of 1978 older sis and 3 friends saved me Drunk a pint and took volume

[Niceandsmove]

Yeah... I thought about it when I found out my wife was cheating on me. The thought lasted for about 45 seconds.

[longing for passion]

I dunno, I know people can get really depressed and they do things that the rest of us can't understand. Even if we talked to them right before they did it, we still wouldn't understand their reasoning.

I've seen it happen a lot though. The ones who seriously tried to kill themselves were obviously very unstable, no way to reason with them what so ever. I've seen a lot of people do it just for the attention, preying on the sympathies of the significant other. Sometimes it worked, most times it didn't, sometimes they died and really didn't want too.

Out of everything I've seen in my career, I hate overdoses the worst.
I'm with you Shiane. Working in the PICU and ICU I have witnessed firsthand the unyielding sorrow and pain that is left in the wake of a suicide or an attempt gone terribly wrong.

Although, in their defense, I think it points to deeper issues mentally and emotionally that were always there on the surface but it took just a little more pressure to reveal the cracks that were always present..

My prayer is that we all get better at identifying those that are hurting so bad inside that they're even considering this as a viable option. I think being better listeners is a step in the right direction.

[peaches]

Not even if the feelings are one sided..might get depressed, but suicide....sorry to me no person is worth my life. I may live out the rest of my life a lonely person, but I value it to my to waste it on someone who dosen't care about it.

[spare_change]

I don't think there isn't a single one of us that hasn't considered it -- maybe only momentarily, but considered it nonetheless.

Most of us are able to see the futility, the finality, of it all. Some of us don't.

[mower]

If it had not been for some friends I made here and for the sake of my kids this Mower would run no longer after the heartache and pain that I am currently going thru
Is it a cop out yeah I guess in a way that it is but in another way I can't imagine life with out her ( even though I am going to have to ) she has been my world for the past 16 yrs. she is more than just my wife whom I love dearly, she's also my best friend so when our relationship hit the wall I not only lost my wife,my lover, but also my best friend kinda a lot to deal with especialy when you have sever depression already it just adds to it. I currently keep a 12 guage shotgun shell on my computer desk, it's within easy reach and I could use it at a drop of a hat if it were not for the fact that I know that A: my kids would never understand why I did it and B: my kids would always hate me for the rest of their lives because Dad took the easy way out of the pain. That is the ONLY thing that is keeping that shell where it is and where it will continue to be as a reminder to me
Mower

[Sunfiresix]

The though, a long time ago(years) crossed my mind. I knew then as I know now nothing is more important than my well being, no way would I even consider it. The same goes for hurting another to get away from them, unless I was in mortal danger. I value life, mine and everyone around me.

[scoobertina]

I honestly must have a heart of stone.. I have hurt in the past... I still hurt because of someone... but I have never contemplated suicide because of a broken heart... sigh... now I really do feel abnormal... thanks...

[oldandnaked]

I honestly must have a heart of stone.. I have hurt in the past... I still hurt because of someone... but I have never contemplated suicide because of a broken heart... sigh... now I really do feel abnormal... thanks...

Then you have abnormal company, I too have never seriously considered suicide. Murder maybe, but not suicide.

[UltimateNaneki]

If it had not been for some friends I made here and for the sake of my kids this Mower would run no longer after the heartache and pain that I am currently going thru
Is it a cop out yeah I guess in a way that it is but in another way I can't imagine life with out her ( even though I am going to have to ) she has been my world for the past 16 yrs. she is more than just my wife whom I love dearly, she's also my best friend so when our relationship hit the wall I not only lost my wife,my lover, but also my best friend kinda a lot to deal with especialy when you have sever depression already it just adds to it. I currently keep a 12 guage shotgun shell on my computer desk, it's within easy reach and I could use it at a drop of a hat if it were not for the fact that I know that A: my kids would never understand why I did it and B: my kids would always hate me for the rest of their lives because Dad took the easy way out of the pain. That is the ONLY thing that is keeping that shell where it is and where it will continue to be as a reminder to me
Mower

Mower...I'm your friend and I will always be around to chat with. This too may not pass but you will learn to live threw it,with a little help from your friends. :wa: :kk

[scoobertina]

If it had not been for some friends I made here and for the sake of my kids this Mower would run no longer after the heartache and pain that I am currently going thru
Is it a cop out yeah I guess in a way that it is but in another way I can't imagine life with out her ( even though I am going to have to ) she has been my world for the past 16 yrs. she is more than just my wife whom I love dearly, she's also my best friend so when our relationship hit the wall I not only lost my wife,my lover, but also my best friend kinda a lot to deal with especialy when you have sever depression already it just adds to it. I currently keep a 12 guage shotgun shell on my computer desk, it's within easy reach and I could use it at a drop of a hat if it were not for the fact that I know that A: my kids would never understand why I did it and B: my kids would always hate me for the rest of their lives because Dad took the easy way out of the pain. That is the ONLY thing that is keeping that shell where it is and where it will continue to be as a reminder to me
Mower

mower, I feel your pain.. I did this same thing to my husband.. he also contemplated suicide.. but not because of me.. there were other things going on also... I just added to his burden.. you can maintain a friendship.. my hubby and I are really good friends.. I will always be there for him.. I just couldn't love him.. if you ever need to talk just give me a yell.. I like to be of help..

[private beaches]

If it had not been for some friends I made here and for the sake of my kids this Mower would run no longer after the heartache and pain that I am currently going thru
Is it a cop out yeah I guess in a way that it is but in another way I can't imagine life with out her ( even though I am going to have to ) she has been my world for the past 16 yrs. she is more than just my wife whom I love dearly, she's also my best friend so when our relationship hit the wall I not only lost my wife,my lover, but also my best friend kinda a lot to deal with especialy when you have sever depression already it just adds to it. I currently keep a 12 guage shotgun shell on my computer desk, it's within easy reach and I could use it at a drop of a hat if it were not for the fact that I know that A: my kids would never understand why I did it and B: my kids would always hate me for the rest of their lives because Dad took the easy way out of the pain. That is the ONLY thing that is keeping that shell where it is and where it will continue to be as a reminder to me
Mower


Thinking of you and saying a prayer for you Mower. :hug: :hug: I hope you find the support and strength you need to get through this difficult time.

[Zarret]

If it had not been for some friends I made here and for the sake of my kids this Mower would run no longer after the heartache and pain that I am currently going thru
Is it a cop out yeah I guess in a way that it is but in another way I can't imagine life with out her ( even though I am going to have to ) she has been my world for the past 16 yrs. she is more than just my wife whom I love dearly, she's also my best friend so when our relationship hit the wall I not only lost my wife,my lover, but also my best friend kinda a lot to deal with especialy when you have sever depression already it just adds to it. I currently keep a 12 guage shotgun shell on my computer desk, it's within easy reach and I could use it at a drop of a hat if it were not for the fact that I know that A: my kids would never understand why I did it and B: my kids would always hate me for the rest of their lives because Dad took the easy way out of the pain. That is the ONLY thing that is keeping that shell where it is and where it will continue to be as a reminder to me
Mower

Mower you don't have to walk this along :knuddel: :knuddel:
We are all here for you. We may not have all the answers. But we do have all the understanding and the hearts to listen :knuddel:

[bri_guy_mich]

I don't even have the ability to consider it. My will to survive is too strong. Even if I was in a coma for 100 years, I would want to be kept alive just in case I wake up, if I wasn't too much of a burden on my family. Suicide is one thing I luckily will never really understand.

[One Song Hero]

I honestly must have a heart of stone.. I have hurt in the past... I still hurt because of someone... but I have never contemplated suicide because of a broken heart... sigh... now I really do feel abnormal... thanks...
Tina, it is probably the opposite case, that in fact instead of a cold and rigid piece of stone you have for a heart something much more pliable, soft yet resilient, something like a piece of modeler's clay. The impacts caused by the trials and misfortunate dealings or losses that are an inescapable part of living leave impressions in you, yes they do, but happily you're also quite capable of absorbing and embracing the effects that the good in life, the love and the beauty, have on you, too.

Perhaps the trick to all of this is to hold yourself dear, to carry your heart in your own open grip, so that when you find some harshness or hardship in life has left an ugly or painful mark on you, you are then able to cup your heart and gently turn outward a fresh and unscathed portion of you, one that is ready to feel the full impact and intensity of the joy that also will inevitably come.

[Dir]

The though, a long time ago(years) crossed my mind. I knew then as I know now nothing is more important than my well being, no way would I even consider it. The same goes for hurting another to get away from them, unless I was in mortal danger. I value life, mine and everyone around me. Agreed ....besides I always would die "fighting'' than killed by my own bullet

[fly]

I dunno, I know people can get really depressed and they do things that the rest of us can't understand. Even if we talked to them right before they did it, we still wouldn't understand their reasoning.

I've seen it happen a lot though. The ones who seriously tried to kill themselves were obviously very unstable, no way to reason with them what so ever. I've seen a lot of people do it just for the attention, preying on the sympathies of the significant other. Sometimes it worked, most times it didn't, sometimes they died and really didn't want too.

Out of everything I've seen in my career, I hate overdoses the worst.

You're right Shiane.......there is no reasoning with them because to them it's the most REASONABLE and logical thing to do. It's like a sickness......and they see things from such a skewed perspective.

Life to them is NOT worth living without that "one" they claim to love.
Think about how that affects that "one" if they actually DO commit suicide?
Suicide is one of the most selfish acts one can commit.
Even if you think that no one would care....and it wouldn't matter. It does. There are always people affected by it.

[Sensual Woman]

Yes I have not only contemplating but come very close to acting on it. The only thing that stopped me was the fact that I would just screw that up too.

[WandaRing]

I agree i also believe it's the worst sin ever.... and like i said b4 i couldn't do that to my family and friends....
Funny you should say that...cause my church gave me two choices when I finally stood up to hubby and his abuse. My first choice was to stay with hubby and suffer and be unhappy with him forever...cause God hates divorce, my second choice was to kill myself cause God would rather see me dead then to be divoreced...I cant begin to think what would have happened had I not be stronger then that...just a moment of believing them and I would be hanging from a tree

[cherokeered]

Suicide is a selfish act....it may stop your pain, but it causes a lot of pain for the people left to pick up the pieces

The people you leave behind will spend the rest of their lives wondering why and blaming themselves
Before anyone says anything, I speak from being there and trying that.....
Those who commit suicide over someone else do so to cause the other to suffer as they are suffering...."now you'll be sorry"..."now you'll see you should have stayed"...."this is all your fault, see what you have made me do"

[private beaches]

I have gone through a situational depression once after a breakup with someone I was engaged to, but I bounced back after a few months. I am too strong willed/stubborn to take my own life.
So many others suffer like cherokee said in her above post. You just hope that a person finds the inner strength they need and the outside support from friends/family/M.D./counseling when the depression is so severe that he/she cant function in day to day life.

[Sunfiresix]

I wouldn't do my self in for the simple reason too many would rejoice so I will stay and be a burr in their shorts as long as I can. There is far too much wonderous things in life to miss out because of something someone else causes.

[Sensual Woman]

Suicide is a selfish act....it may stop your pain, but it causes a lot of pain for the people left to pick up the pieces

The people you leave behind will spend the rest of their lives wondering why and blaming themselves
Before anyone says anything, I speak from being there and trying that.....
Those who commit suicide over someone else do so to cause the other to suffer as they are suffering...."now you'll be sorry"..."now you'll see you should have stayed"...."this is all your fault, see what you have made me do"

I don't see it as selfish at all. It doesn't always cause suffering to others. And it is not always "You'll be sorry". Sometimes it is simply "I can't take anymore" and not wishing to cause anyone else more problems. you are not the only one who has been there...

[Lissa]

my younger brother shot himself in 1994 over a woman.... he was 21....I know the heartache and devastation left for a family when something like that happens... we never suspected he would do something like that....I could never scar my loved ones like that....

[SunnyD]

I once as a teenager became so upset that I was sick for a week, but have never let something get to me that bad since.

[pagirl]

my younger brother shot himself in 1994 over a woman.... he was 21....I know the heartache and devastation left for a family when something like that happens... we never suspected he would do something like that....I could never scar my loved ones like that....

I am so sorry to hear that Lissa...My Oldest brother hung himself over his wife in 2000. I feel your pain! We never expected it either. He was the one in the family we all thought had it together. He was a nurse, he bought a beautiful home but his wife of 4 years decided she wanted to upgrade to a doctor... I have never forgiven him for that...I am still mad at him for the pain he put our family through and the pain we still feel.

[sexytiger]

I am so sorry to hear that Lissa...My Oldest brother hung himself over his wife in 2000. I feel your pain! We never expected it either. He was the one in the family we all thought had it together. He was a nurse, he bought a beautiful home but his wife of 4 years decided she wanted to upgrade to a doctor... I have never forgiven him for that...I am still mad at him for the pain he put our family through and the pain we still feel.


I don't know the pain PAgirl.. but I hear to listen... big TIGER hug for You

[pagirl]

I don't know the pain PAgirl.. but I hear to listen... big TIGER hug for You


Tiger hugs always make me feel better....Thank you sweetie!:kk

[Lissa]

I am so sorry to hear that Lissa...My Oldest brother hung himself over his wife in 2000. I feel your pain! We never expected it either. He was the one in the family we all thought had it together. He was a nurse, he bought a beautiful home but his wife of 4 years decided she wanted to upgrade to a doctor... I have never forgiven him for that...I am still mad at him for the pain he put our family through and the pain we still feel.



Thank you pagirl..I am sorry for your loss also....when something like this happens,it is so hard for the other family members to deal with...I was angry for a long time at my brother,but had to forgive him to be able to go on with my life....they just don't realize what they leave behind

hugzzzz

[TheTurtle]

I don't see it as selfish at all. It doesn't always cause suffering to others. And it is not always "You'll be sorry". Sometimes it is simply "I can't take anymore" and not wishing to cause anyone else more problems. you are not the only one who has been there...

I think that it can be either cause; but I agree with you Sensual Woman. For many of us who consider it, it is NOT a revenge thing, an attention thing, or rarified selfishness. Sometimes we not only feel we can't take it anymore, but that those we love would be better off without us -- freed to move on to someone who won't fail so often or who won't be such a burden -- sometimes it is just to find rest from internal conflict tearing us to shreds.

Depression is a devious and scary thing, and heartbreak of any sort can trigger the monster.

[MrCoy]

I agree that suicide is a selfish act - it's the ultimate last word, where everybody who has ever hurt you is robbed of the potential of amends. That may sound tempting, but the devastation to family is a reverberating echo that never goes away.

[mower]

I Deeeoly appreciate all the concern and the care I feel from the people of the forum, while I do realize that the act of Suiside is a cowardly act, a selfish act, when my world seemed to crumble in on itself it was far more than I thought I could ever bear, When I was Young My Grandpaw was the Sun, and Moon in my eyes I never thought I could ever love someone as much as I did he. Then In Nov of 1980 he passed from this world and for the first time in my life I was effected by the visitation of death into my family ( over the years he has visited far too many times) That hurt was one that I never thought I would ever have to feel again untill the touch of death was placed upon me and even then it would be the family and lovedones that I left behind that would feel the pain and sting of Deaths touch to me. However when my wife told me the things that she had to tell me, I once again felt that sting, and then it grew wore and worse to a point to where I didn't know if I was strong enough to enure the pain, As I was brought up in the Church I knew in my heart that all things work for good for those that love the LOrd,I also knew that the good Lord was not going to put uponme a burden that he did not think that I could bear, and I am glad that the Lord and my friends here have had that kind of faith in me. While I will agree with the basic hypothosis that suiside is the cowards way out a cop out instead of dealing with the pain, there are times that the pain seems to overwhelm you and trys to consume you in one whlole bite ( it has a vorasious appitite). Like Deppression it consumes you without you being aware that it has done so, or at least in my case that is how it seems. I had been injured on the job and had had a surgery that went askew, and I felt as if though my manhood had been striped away from me, that my mother and father had been right that all I was ever going to amount to was a worthless piece of garbage that was nothing more than a leech upon life. I let this consume me for 11 years not so much at first but after fighting for so long one gets tired and weary and I let my guard down and the next thing that I knew was the fact that I was being slapped in the face with the loss of my family, but something had to wake me up to make me realize that my life had value, that I wasn;t worthless, that even though I have lost my ability to provide as I once did for my family I was still a a valued member of life. Well it did just that and then the Deppression tried to take a hold once again to regain that which it had lost and the whole ordeal came back upon me and I seriously concidered ending it there. Still have those lfeeting moments that I still feel that way and then I concider how that action is going to effect the most important people in my lfe ( My Kids) how I felt when my father finaly gave up the fight to live and willed himself to an early grave ( he had serious respitory health issues) and how I have always regreted not being able to tell him that I did love him that I was sorry for being such a disapointment as a son and I have never been disapointed in my kids I have always been proud to be their Daddy. I could Never do that to my Kids, or have them stand over my grave and wonder Why? Why did dad do this? Why did he take this course of action to leave us? Yeah I still keep that shotgun shell on my desk, yeah it's still within easy reach, yeah I could still ........., but what keeps me from doing it? my Kids, my friends and the knowledge that " That which does not kill us Only makes us stronger"
While many of you may not be able to see this side of the coin, I have viewed it and to a point wished for the pain to just end, and that is ONE way for the pain to end for me, but in doing so the pain only begins for those that I love and care for, when they were born I swore to take care of them and protect them from all harm , that includes the harm that my actions could do to them as well. SO I keep my promise to them I will Love and protect them to the best of my ability to do so , and with the good Lord's help and the support of friends " this too shall pass"
Mower

[Postman]

The problem with suicide..........It only hurts the ones we love the most.

[MIGHTY]

Suicide can be a selfish act. Suicide can leave your family and friends wondering how things got soo bad. But, in having three immediate family members commit suicide, and attempts myself, I can tell you that the mind takes control at that point. It may be selfish, but you must be able to understand the pain of the person contimplating. I can place my mind there, I can empathize, I was there. For some it can be a revenge factor, I agree. For my uncle it was just that. But, rarely is that the case. It is not easy to forgive the ones that hurt us in that manner, but that is where the empathy comes in. I forgive my loved ones for doing what they did and am no longer angry at them. They had resons and were in their own unique mindset that I may never understand. All I can do now is to let my child know that there are always alternatives. There are ALWAYS alternatives. They are just very hard to see at the time.

[Lacey]

Suicide seems selfish to those left behind.I think the person that does it or considers suicide is so self-absorb with their problems ,that they see no way out .And see no self worth in themselves but find it in others,that's hard.I don't know the answers how to stop someone from doing it or thinking about it.I have never had any thoughts of it ever. Things get bad but things always get better.You have to find self worth inside yourself,not through others.

[Sensual Woman]

Suicide seems selfish to those left behind.I think the person that does it or considers suicide is so self-absorb with their problems ,that they see no way out .And see no self worth in themselves but find it in others,that's hard.I don't know the answers how to stop someone from doing it or thinking about it.I have never had any thoughts of it ever. Things get bad but things always get better.You have to find self worth inside yourself,not through others.

Lacey, things do not always get better.

[MIGHTY]

Lacey, things do not always get better.

I disagree. When you are in the turmoil, in the midst of the pain, then you are bound to believe that they don't. How could they get better when you continue to suffer? But, there is always better. I have lived it in small stints of my life. What is better? Better, for me, is not Hell. Better for me is a small smile when I would not be able to muster one otherwise. Better is a calm night at work, w/o harassment. Better is a game of Uno with my son, and watching him do a dance when he kicks my butt again. You must look to the smallest feats, the smallest of accomplishments. Those things alone can constitute "better". It is those moments, those seconds that we look forward to, and make us realize that, no matter how bad things in general are, that, during this minute, it was better...................

[pointofnoreturn]

How to mend a broken heart.......Be with friends....

[Huzyerdaddi]

There are better reasons to commit suicide than a broken heart. Then again, there are always better ways to cope than to commit suicide.

[Asperror]

When I was younger the thought did cross my mind. Life is about overcoming challenges...I was happy I was able to get over my first big heartbreak. I still remember how I felt....one of the worst feelings in the world.

[MrCoy]

"That which does not kill us Only makes us stronger"
While many of you may not be able to see this side of the coin, I have viewed it and to a point wished for the pain to just end, and that is ONE way for the pain to end for me, but in doing so the pain only begins for those that I love and care for, when they were born I swore to take care of them and protect them from all harm , that includes the harm that my actions could do to them as well. SO I keep my promise to them I will Love and protect them to the best of my ability to do so , and with the good Lord's help and the support of friends " this too shall pass"
Mower

I will not be so presumptious to assume I can empathize with what you have endured, mower, but I do agree with "that which does not kill us only makes us stronger." Marriage has taught me to be happy within my own sphere, despite the shortcomings of my spouse and the misery she tries to spread every day. And fortunately for my son, he can have at least one parent to show him how to be happy despite their surroundings.

On a side note, mower, bones here would like to hear about your grandpa's visitations sometime.

[PowWhackIt]

Mower, I can empathize with you. Several years ago I was where you are, probably closer to the brink of my own distruction. Sitting alone in a rented apartment, under a psychologists' care, on Prosac (DON'T EVER get on that stuff), a bottle of wine, tears streaming down my face and a loaded/cocked 45 to my head. Thoughts of my last parent just passing, my estranged kids, IRS audit that wouldn't go away, downsized out of a company that I had almost 20 years with and my wife of 23 years pregnant (at 46 years old and it wasn't mine) leaving me for a "better" life. There is a place where people go in that type of situation and for whatever reason, some make it back, some don't. All rationality goes away, nothing makes sense anymore it is pure emotion and you can't controll it no matter how hard you try. The thoughts of my kids saved me and turned my life around. It is different for everyone who has been there. Some find a reason to turn around others don't. Irealize I'm just a FNG (F**kin' New Guy) and I'm trying to fit in, but this thread struck a real nerve and I'm sitting here reading this in cold sweat because of the memories. It took nearly 2 years for me to get on solid ground where I felt I had complete control again. I've been to the edge and I understand.

[MIGHTY]

Mower, I can empathize with you. Several years ago I was where you are, probably closer to the brink of my own distruction. Sitting alone in a rented apartment, under a psychologists' care, on Prosac (DON'T EVER get on that stuff), a bottle of wine, tears streaming down my face and a loaded/cocked 45 to my head. Thoughts of my last parent just passing, my estranged kids, IRS audit that wouldn't go away, downsized out of a company that I had almost 20 years with and my wife of 23 years pregnant (at 46 years old and it wasn't mine) leaving me for a "better" life. There is a place where people go in that type of situation and for whatever reason, some make it back, some don't. All rationality goes away, nothing makes sense anymore it is pure emotion and you can't controll it no matter how hard you try. The thoughts of my kids saved me and turned my life around. It is different for everyone who has been there. Some find a reason to turn around others don't. Irealize I'm just a FNG (F**kin' New Guy) and I'm trying to fit in, but this thread struck a real nerve and I'm sitting here reading this in cold sweat because of the memories. It took nearly 2 years for me to get on solid ground where I felt I had complete control again. I've been to the edge and I understand.

This is a powerful story Pow. Thank you for shedding some light on the subject. We all have our own sets of circumstances that bring us to this "place". It is very hard for one to be able to relate or understand the mind set of one who has reached such an emotional low. I have reached this low as well. I know the feelings of desperation, isolation, and hopelessness. I commend you for making one of your firsts posts one of such importance. Thank you for sharing and a sincere and warm welcome to our abode here.......:kk

[PowWhackIt]

Thank you for your understanding thoughts MIGHTY. Congratulations on your success in seeing the "beast", spitting in its face and walking away from the edge.

[darlingcherry]

Suicide seems selfish to those left behind.I think the person that does it or considers suicide is so self-absorb with their problems ,that they see no way out .And see no self worth in themselves but find it in others,that's hard.I don't know the answers how to stop someone from doing it or thinking about it.I have never had any thoughts of it ever. Things get bad but things always get better.You have to find self worth inside yourself,not through others.

I agree with you, all the way!

[breeced1129]

I'm sure I thought about it when I was younger, but as I grow older it just doesn't seem like the answer.

[PunkyBob]

No. Never an option. There's always the choice of sticking around and pissing everyone off. And never from love.

[mower]

first I want to say thank you to Pow as yeah that's almost exactly how I feel, I feel at ropes end and I am straining to grasp at the final threads. I can't say that , I don't and haven't contemplated, even planned out my on demise, but what Ican say is that because of this site and a lot of talk from a lot of friends, I am honestly to the point to where I know that I am not fully recovered, to a point don't think I will ever be, but I have seen enough of the light to realize that I need to see a Dr and possibly get some help with my depression, as far as my relationship with my wife I have resigned to the fact that :( unfortuantly there is nothing that I can do or say that is going to change her heart and the way that she feels towards me, but that does not mean that I can't keep on going for my kids at least if for no other reason. So I just wanted to post a word of Thanks
Mower

[PlayfulMale69]

Yes I have not only contemplating but come very close to acting on it. The only thing that stopped me was the fact that I would just screw that up too.

I am sure glad you didn't go through with it. You are a great lady and have much to offer the people you know and love.

[PlayfulMale69]

Suicide seems selfish to those left behind.I think the person that does it or considers suicide is so self-absorb with their problems ,that they see no way out .And see no self worth in themselves but find it in others,that's hard.I don't know the answers how to stop someone from doing it or thinking about it.I have never had any thoughts of it ever. Things get bad but things always get better.You have to find self worth inside yourself,not through others.

Lacey, you have superwoman insight there. I agree with you. The people left behind as I have been do feel cheated. I used to think I wish he would have asked for help or let me know that he was hurting. He probably did but not in the language I would understand. I do realize that the depression and feeling alone can cause the person to think there is no other solution.

Anyway, I agree with what you said 1000%!!

[duanehofner]

Lacey, things do not always get better.



Straighten up, those two kids don't deserve to be left alone with him either.

[Sensual Woman]

I am sure glad you didn't go through with it. You are a great lady and have much to offer the people you know and love.

Thank you hun. You are pretty great yourself.

[Sensual Woman]

Straighten up, those two kids don't deserve to be left alone with him either.

Believe me hun, if it were that easy, I would.

[Pilot of the Airwaves]

Hmm..not over a breakup, but over the inability to win someone's love. To the point that I did extensive research into how to best "do it". I honestly believe that my undying love for that person actually prevented me from going thru with it, since I convinced myself there was *always* some hope. I still love her, and have yet to gain her love.