Legendary Limericks and Rhymes from many talented members

[p.J]

Outtamymind has shown his talents,

His flare his gift for balance.

His limericks to us he regales

The laughter heard in wales,

They make us ponder, and bring on smiles,

This man, our friend, the best by miles…

[christinalee]

Hehehe, what a sence of humor!!!

[Outta]

Guess! Sexy"NOLA"...
ahhhh, the flood zone very good.

[Outta]

Outtamymind has shown his talents,

His flare his gift for balance.

His limericks to us he regales

The laughter heard in wales,

They make us ponder, and bring on smiles,

This man, our friend, the best by miles…


Jen, you are the sweetest. That is great. I'm highly flattered.

[Butterfly_13]

ahhhh, the flood zone very good.

You got it! Yea, it's wet here...not so good!

[CuriousGeorge]

George has no reason to cry
His wife makes him feel like he's high
When they make love
He stares up above
To a rainbow so bright in the sky.

Thanks, Outta! You speak the truth! I am a very lucky man, and I know it! :D

[christinalee]

Outta baby, I saved my 150th post just for you, now are you gonna write me one?

[Outta]

Outta baby, I saved my 150th post just for you, now are you gonna write me one?
I'm honored. But do I know you well enuf to come up with something .....

hmmmm. challenge.

they haven't upgraded you get so i can't pm you to find out more things.

[Lena]

I'm honored. But do I know you well enuf to come up with something .....

hmmmm. challenge.

they haven't upgraded you get so i can't pm you to find out more things.
Should be ok now!

[Outta]

Billy Joel wrote about Christy Lee

Says she’s a dangerous breed

She can open my zipper

With her green fuzzy slipper

While singing “Cecilia” to me

:D :D :D :D :D

[christinalee]

:hug: Oh my god!!! your the best!

[Outta]

:hug: Oh my god!!! your the best!
Say that again, I like hearing it.

[rainbowhigh]

Careful, christinalee! Don't stroke his ego too much.... lol


I'm just teasin'. You know I think you're the cutest, outta.... ;)

[Outta]

There once was a Mrs. with Might

With her I’d rather not fight

If I moved in too fast

She’d kick my ass

And my new name would be Outta-Sight


__________________

[Outta]

I once knew a girl name of Jane

We made love in the back of a train

She said “All the Ladies

Only fuck in Mercedes”

So she never did call me again.

[Outta]

In a bar stands a classic Victrola
In N'Orleans it plays la-la-Lola
But when this hottie blew in
With a stormful of sin
It now plays its songs just for NOLA.
:D

[Butterfly_13]

In a bar stands a classic Victrola
In N'Orleans it plays la-la-Lola
But when this hottie blew in
With a stormful of sin
It now plays its songs just for NOLA.
:D

AAAWWW!!! :kk How sweet! My first limerick; I am truely honored. Thank you, Outta. You are such a sweety - talented too! :kk :kk :kk

[Outta]

AAAWWW!!! :kk How sweet! My first limerick; I am truely honored. Thank you, Outta. You are such a sweety - talented too! :kk :kk :kk
Damn straight

[Butterfly_13]

Damn straight

And SO confident, too...!!! :D

[Outta]

And SO confident, too...!!! :D
And HOT. Don't forget hot. Smokin hot.

[Outta]

Suz, she has hair like a dove

With her I just want to make love

In a room by the beach

When she’s in my reach

Or under the bright stars above

:dd :dd :dd

[Suz]

Suz, she has hair like a dove

With her I just want to make love

In a room by the beach

When she’s in my reach

Or under the bright stars above

:dd :dd :dd


:kk Thank you babe

[Outta]

:kk Thank you babe
I'd have preferred to read it to you in person.

[Butterfly_13]

Hot damn, smokin hot!!! sssiiizzzzzzllleee! Be careful! :dl
And such a real sweetheart - do not forget that attribute.


And HOT. Don't forget hot. Smokin hot.

[Suz]

I'd have preferred to read it to you in person.

How about you do that on a beach, I'll pretend like I haven't heard it before.

[Outta]

There once was a girl from Cheyenne

Who has a fabulous hand

She played with my dick

Knew all the right tricks

But ran off with a boy in the band.
:D :D :D

[snowflake]

:lmao


You're good at this. You should write a book...

[G...G]

Cute!!



There once was a girl from Cheyenne

Who has a fabulous hand

She played with my dick

Knew all the right tricks

But ran off with a boy in the band.
:D :D :D

[Outta]

How about you do that on a beach, I'll pretend like I haven't heard it before.
On the beach with you? I might be embarrassed pitching tent the entire time.

[Zpanther]

The stars are twinking bright,
over London town tonight.
Somewhere down below,
our Red Rose is sporting a bow,
aaaahhh what a comforting sight.

[Lena]

The stars are twinking bright,
over London town tonight.
Somewhere down below,
our Red Rose is sporting a bow,
aaaahhh what a comforting sight.
Is that for me??:)

[Zpanther]

Is that for me??:)

Well now...... how many English Red Roses do we know in London?

[Lena]

Well now...... how many English Red Roses do we know in London?
:) awwww thank you!!
That is so nice of you!!!

And it is nice to see you back on this thread too!!:)

[Outta]

The ultimate girl’s named Naneki

Everyone thinks she is sexy

She’ll get down and dirty

Till half past 4:30

And she can bob like a duck with her necky

[paris]

Hey there Outta...just catching up on your latest...such a funny guy!

[Outta]

Hey there Outta...just catching up on your latest...such a funny guy!
Thanks babe. Where have you been? Snowed in?

[UltimateNaneki]

Thanks babe. Where have you been? Snowed in?

Maybe you could concentrate on good limericks and less on the babes around you!!:nu

[Outta]

Maybe you could concentrate on good limericks and less on the babes around you!!:nu
And the purpose of that would be?

[paris]

Yes...stuck in Mexico. Glad to be home finally...
Thanks babe. Where have you been? Snowed in?

[Outta]

There once was a girl from afar

Who wouldn’t have sex in my car

We were out on a date

I resorted to rape

And now I have sex behind bars.

[Butterfly_13]

Outta,
You are brutal tonight! Getting cranky already? There there...it will be alright!
:kk to make you feel better...


There once was a girl from afar

Who wouldn’t have sex in my car

We were out on a date

I resorted to rape

And now I have sex behind bars.

[Outta]

There once was a girl that I love
Who was flying away like a dove
Off to the beach
And out of my reach
While I gaze at the stars up above.

[Outta]

There once was a girl from Manhattan
Who’s temper was like General Patton
She’d bitch you out bad
If you got her mad
And do it in English or Latin.

:D

[RedHotPisces]

ok outta, i think its time for you to grace us with another limerick

[scoobertina]

Hey outta, bring on a limerick

[Outta]

Ok girls, you asked for it

Jane Mary O’Malley was fit

With especially lovely tits

But she gave up her hymen

For 2 carrot diamonds

Now she’s Jane Mary Rabinowitz

[RedHotPisces]

:lmao ty outta :kk can we see these more often again please?



Ok girls, you asked for it

Jane Mary O’Malley was fit

With especially lovely tits

But she gave up her hymen

For 2 carrot diamonds

Now she’s Jane Mary Rabinowitz

[Outta]

:lmao ty outta :kk can we see these more often again please?
Only if I can see more of your ass in that avatar.

[RedHotPisces]

ok, let me see what i can dig up...you said avatar right :sc



Only if I can see more of your ass in that avatar.

[yaser]

ok, let me see what i can dig up...you said avatar right :sc
Avatar supre..Is it your ass hun?

[Milk]

there once was a man named ricky
who's dick was quite tricky
we went for a spin
and he snuck it in
while i gave his neck a hickie

[Milk]

there once was a man named walt
who took me to suck on his malt
when his wife found out
she gave out a shout
this affair must halt

[Milk]

there once was a man named Gil
for whom i went on the pill
after a week we did spend
his back had to mend
and the relationship went chill

[Milk]

there once was a man named kent
who's dick was not bent
he was a bard
who fucked me quite hard
and into my pussy his cum went

[Milk]

there once was a man named reggie
who let me suck on his huge veggie
he fingered my pussy
and i soaked my touche
and went home with a wedgie

[Milk]

there was a man named Ken
who i would meet now and then
we'd go to starbucks
but never did we fuck
and he's still one of my favorite men

[Milk]

there was a man named doug
who gave me a big hug
too quickly he came thrice
which was quite a vice
and in the end i did shrug

[Milk]

There was a man named Michael
with a dick like the eiffel
he was so dark
he lit my spark
my passions i cannot stifle

[Milk]

there was a man named gus
who liked to cuss
for months we would play
until that fateful day
he learned i was married and did fuss

[Milk]

Reggie the first
may have broken my heart the worst
we met at a hotel
and he fucked me so well
then for me he no longer did thirst

[Milk]

my ex-stripper
undid his zipper
on the car hood he placed me
i bent up my knees
and i became the big dripper

[Milk]

my dear friend rod
had a great bod
we'd meet in his truck
and for hours we would fuck
until he disappeared like a sod

[angelis]

Good Grief Milk, so many men!! whats your secret!

[Milk]

there was a man named Jim
who's dick was not slim
he was uncut
and he'd spank my butt
and i really did enjoy him

[Milk]

my friend the chef
who could have a harem like Hef
with cams we like to play
on the screen we do spray
when we meet my screams will make him go deaf

[Milk]

there was a man named Jay
like dogs in heat we would play
his cock was very thick
to my stories he yanked his dick
then he suggested a gang bang and i said go away

[Milk]

My friend peter
was no cheater
he's work hard by day
at night we'd write and play
that winter i didn't need a heater

[Milk]

my first cheat was john
who was no don juan
on trips we would meet
and he'd suck my teet
then i told him be gone

[Milk]

Jeff was the one
who wanted daily fun
he bought a web cam
then his wife said god dam
and from me he had to run

[Milk]

there was my friend terry
to a hag he was married
he was hung like a horse
i liked to watch him of course
till of the drama i grew weary

[Milk]

I need to slow down
or you'll think i fucked half the town
i need one good fellow
who is sexy and mellow
and who's skin is brown

[Outta]

Damn it, girl. Get your own limerick thread. These are my originals. Sheesh.

[Milk]

Damn it, girl. Get your own limerick thread. These are my originals. Sheesh.

ah, honey can't we share?

[Amaretto]

Well, everyone's asking me to write them a limerick, so here's a new thread.

I'll post the ones I've written, and if you want one dedicated to you, just ask me.

Hey Outta........what can you do for a girl named amaretto????

[Suz]

ah, honey can't we share?

LOL....I should have warned ya...he's like a dog...get's very territorial....but he can be tamed also.;)

[Outta]

LOL....I should have warned ya...he's like a dog...get's very territorial....but he can be tamed also.;)


Since you are my territory, Suz, get back in the bedroom and shut the fk up. Wait for your man to give you what you need. What did you say about tame?

[Suz]

Since you are my territory, Suz, get back in the bedroom and shut the fk up. Wait for your man to give you what you need. What did you say about tame?

I'm sorry...did I tell you to speak? Didn't think so....now you will be punished....and yes, I have tamed you...I laugh at the thought you think you're not.....or is that called wrapped? ;)

[Outta]

I'm sorry...did I tell you to speak? Didn't think so....now you will be punished....and yes, I have tamed you...I laugh at the thought you think you're not.....or is that called wrapped? ;)

Well then, since this is supposed to be my limerick threat, i'll shut you up with a poem my dear.

[Outta]

I went through my photos last night

And saw her in glimmering light

My heart started pounding

Her beauty’s astounding

My Suz makes keeps my heart beating right.

[Suz]

I went through my photos last night

And saw her in glimmering light

My heart started pounding

Her beauty’s astounding

My Suz makes keeps my heart beating right.


Well that was nice...and you didn't even have to use the F word...I'm very proud of you.:kk Thank you baby

[Outta]

Hey Outta........what can you do for a girl named amaretto????
Here ya go.

Some girls have got all the class

And their names suggest something of sass

She stamped her stiletto

Said “come sip Amaretto,

On your tongue my sweetness will last."

[Outta]

Now Outta's a bit of a prick

Always boasting the girth of his dick
When Suz called it massive
It's no time to be passive
He signed up to do a porn flick.
:D

[scoobertina]

Thanks Outta.. I really have enjoyed these this morning..

[Suz]

Now Outta's a bit of a prick

Always boasting the girth of his dick
When Suz called it massive
It's no time to be passive
He signed up to do a porn flick.
:D

Oh please.......well it's good to have a dream Outta....keep on dreaming baby...awe, it's so cute.;)

[p.J]

Time to work on another one me thinks... :sc

[Outta]

Time to work on another one me thinks... :sc

Nah, I just need to work on another way to hush Suz' sassy mouth. Maybe it just needs to be occupied.
:blowjob: :blowjob: :blowjob: :blowjob:

[Milk]

Outta, use your charm on one of the forum leaders to split my limericks off into a seperate thread. :)

[Outta]

There once was a hot little nurse

Who makes me all better, not worse

Her blouse oh so white

Is on my bed for tonight

And some toys she did bring in her purse.

[Suz]

There once was a hot little nurse

Who makes me all better, not worse

Her blouse oh so white

Is on my bed for tonight

And some toys she did bring in her purse.


I love it baby, you have such talent :kk So sexy too :knuddel:

[rickingeorgia]

Ha totally missed the point of this thread before I posted :(

[Outta]

Not a limerick, but I couldn't resist this stroke of genius, especially now that Pixie and Haggis are moving to Aussieland.



I wish I were in Pixie, hooray, hooray
In Pixie's hands, our dicks will stand
We'll cum and go in Pixie
Away, away, away down south with Pixie

[Lena]

Hey Mister Panther!!! I can see that you are around so I wonder if you can do me a favour and write something one here again!!! :)

[Zpanther]

Why certainly I can my dear,
pleased you noticed I'm here.
London reminds me of fog,
rolling in from the bogs.
making it hard to tell when I'm near.

[Lena]

Why certainly I can my dear,
pleased you noticed I'm here.
London reminds me of fog,
rolling in from the bogs.
making it hard to tell when I'm near.
Thank you Panther dear!!!
Thought I could see you there
prowling around to get near!!!
At last you're with me right here!

[Zpanther]

See? it's fun to play........
to try to rhyme what you're trying to say.
It seems that one thing we find,
is that sex is on everyone's mind.

[thickitalian]

Thick Italian was at the club
He turned around because he felt a rub
She whispered in my ear, "lets play and you be the sub".
I took her hand and we went to her room
She shackled me up and started to swoon
from all my kisses
as there were no misses.
I obeyed and got on the bed on my hands and knees
while she stood in front of me and did a strip tease.
Little did I know her friend had come in
until I felt this toy being rammed all the way in.
my ass was hurting, my ass was sore
I sort of keeled over and fell onto the floor.
Feeling pain
made my lust levels gain
so I opened my eyes and what do I see?
The one and only... M&F's "Mighty"

[Lena]

ohh wow Italian,
that was great!
It was such fun
to see you write!
Will be waiting for more,Italian!

[thickitalian]

M&F Chat rocks

Penny, Hubby, and Mods are the M&F Jocks.

Those here since 2005

Will not be leaving since coming alive.

Those who overcame their fear

became posting fanatics and found many friends

who have become dear.

We flirt, we exaggerate, we say what others want to hear

And we are also proud to show we have a great rear!

We come from the United Kingdom, Down Under, French Republic & Turkey

USA, and other countries I’m sure I have missed and we’re all so perky!

Our goal is common as we form a bond,

A bond that is missing as is the old art of kissing.

There are many vocabulary words we know are the same

vulnerability, deceit, disrespect, frustration, complacency…

our minds feel it is a serious and tireless game.

But we have joined as a family and we flirt like hell

Feeling we have found a new life we need to say farewell!

Farewell to the old life so full of missing years

As our spouses became adept at kicking all our rears

We made it, we’re here, our minds are more sane

We know not where this path leads

But it’s better than the old fcuking game!

Thick loves you all!!!

[Shiane]

Merging this thread it is me you may blame
Unfortunately it is unwanted fame
So many good things to read
I could not ignore this great need
Everyones enjoyment is my aim
Even if this attempt is lame



I found this thread lost, and I got such a kick out of reading it. I wanted to bring it to the front and combine the best of the past and present. There is so much good stuff to read I hope you all enjoy it.

[Outta]

There once was a girl name of Rita

Who was always a very big eater
She sucked on my stoagie
While eating a hoagie
Said I'd only get fucked if I feed her.

[Annie]

I found this thread lost, and I got such a kick out of reading it. I wanted to bring it to the front and combine the best of the past and present. There is so much good stuff to read I hope you all enjoy it.

Thank you Shiane! This thread is definitely worth reviving!

[p.J]

There was a young man who sent e-mails,
To various dubious females,
When asked what they said,
He just shook his head;
I'd rather not go into details.

[p.J]

There was a young woman whose suitor,
Treated her just like his computer,
She let him log-on,
But she told him; 'Begone!',
Whenever he tried to reboot her.

[One Song Hero]

Jenny, you are sooooo good...

Here's one, I hope you like it:

There once was a cyberer a' whimming
Spending all his time wank and IM 'ing,
As his life passed in hot chat
Never once had he thought that
His real life sex prospects were dimming.

[One Song Hero]

There once was a hottie from Britain,
Whom, on her, this poor bloke was hittin',
By her posts he was dazzled,
To the point he was frazzled,
When he realised
how much he'd been smitten.





.

[OICurready4me]

the was once a woman so pretty,

that bikinis on her look so bitty,
when she took it all off,
her friends would all cough,
at the site of the hair on her kitty

[cyclops]

There was a young woman from BudeWho liked to swim in the nude

A man on a punt stuck his oar in her...... ear
and said you can't swim here it's private :D

[p.J]

O' Imagine the horrors and shocks
When limericks compensate for your cocks!
They should be ‘bout fucking
And occasionally sucking
But never ‘bout swinging your rocks!


:o

[cyclops]

there was a young man from Spleen
who invented a wanking machine
on the 99th stroke
the fucking thing broke
and whiped his balls to cream :whee:

[cyclops]

There once was a woman from Blight
Her speed was much faster than light
I can honestly say
I fucked her today
And she came sometime last night

[p.a]

From sea to shining sea
I would like to see
Everyone under the sun
loving life and having fun
Regular people on regular days
Going about there merry ways
All the people getting along
Not worried about who's right and who's wrong
I know this is a wishful limerick
But what if?

[p.a]

Pie in the sky have I when I strive to realize that I might try while I aim high in minds eye to fly.

[p.a]

Lust or love have I for thee?
Confused am I what will I be
What choice I make will be correct?
The wrong of it will cause reject
I need know the truth of it
She need not know my embattled wit
I feel I know I feel
But is what I feel real, is it real?

[cyclops]

Sorry to bring the tone down here :D

There once was a girl from Sidney
Who could take it right up to her kidney
But a guy from Quebec
Shoved it up to her neck
He had a long one, now didn't he.

[p.a]

Sorry to bring the tone down here :D

There once was a girl from Sidney
Who could take it right up to her kidney
But a guy from Quebec
Shoved it up to her neck
He had a long one, now didn't he.:lmao

[Seraphtermath]

Ole Mother Hubbard
Went to the Cubbard
To get her poor doggy a bone.
But when she bent over
Temptation took over
And the dog got a bone of his own.

[spare_change]

There was a lady who triplets begat
Nat, Pat and Tat
It was fun breeding
But trouble feeding
Cause she didn't have a tit for Tat.

[spare_change]

There once was a Senator from Mass
who was searchin around for a Lass;
He lucked out and found it;
He fucked up and drowned it.
And That was the end of HIS ass!

[spare_change]

My trouser-snake stands up and cheers
When confronted with boobs in brassieres;
But, in charming my cobra,
The bosom with no bra
Can almost reduce it to tears.

[spare_change]

There once was a girl from Decator
who was laid by a big alligator
nobody knew
the results of that screw
'cuz after he laid her, he ate her.