How do married men get lovers?

[Algamob]

Im a married male. Im trying to figure out how to get some sex going with women I may flirt with

I dont believe in not revealing im not married. In fact, I thinks its best to disclose early on.

The hard part is proposing the idea.....How is this done in a suave manner?

Or could I make the woman propose the idea?

My mind operates under the premise that if I start making a move they will think a dirtbag because im married.

Pls advise!

[RedHotPisces]

:wa: hello algamob...welcome :wa:



Im a married male. Im trying to figure out how to get some sex going with women I may flirt with

I dont believe in not revealing im not married. In fact, I thinks its best to disclose early on.

The hard part is proposing the idea.....How is this done in a suave manner?

Or could I make the woman propose the idea?

My mind operates under the premise that if I start making a move they will think a dirtbag because im married.

Pls advise!

[Sandy]

hi, welcome to the site :wa:

[Jy]

Welcome to the site, Alga. This is an interesting question.

Are you looking for something ongoing? Or a one night stand? It sounds to me like you're looking for a "friend with benefits", in which case, I think you need to build on a friendship first and create a certain level of trust. Also, you'd probably be better off hooking up with a married woman. I say this because she'd have just as much to lose as you, and would most likely maintain some discretion. Also, she probably wouldn't be expecting you to leave your wife and run away with her.
I do have to ask though, why are you looking for someone else? Are you having marital problems? Are you and your wife mismatched sexually?
For many of us here, this site provides us with many of the thrills and excitement that an affair would offer, without the risk. For others, it's become even more than that. Stick around, read some posts, get to know us better, and tell us what you think.
Im a married male. Im trying to figure out how to get some sex going with women I may flirt with

I dont believe in not revealing im not married. In fact, I thinks its best to disclose early on.

The hard part is proposing the idea.....How is this done in a suave manner?

Or could I make the woman propose the idea?

My mind operates under the premise that if I start making a move they will think a dirtbag because im married.

Pls advise!

[Rmb]

As is often the case...I agree with the articulate charming Jazzy :)

[Jy]

...and you are relentlessly charming!

Glad you could join us tonight, Rhumba!

As is often the case...I agree with the articulate charming Jazzy :)

[Rmb]

...and you are relentlessly charming!

Glad you could join us tonight, Rhumba!

Thank you Jazzy :) I doubt I will be here long though

[Good to Find (M)]

Welcome to the site, Alga. This is an interesting question.

Are you looking for something ongoing? Or a one night stand? It sounds to me like you're looking for a "friend with benefits", in which case, I think you need to build on a friendship first and create a certain level of trust. Also, you'd probably be better off hooking up with a married woman. I say this because she'd have just as much to lose as you, and would most likely maintain some discretion. Also, she probably wouldn't be expecting you to leave your wife and run away with her.
I do have to ask though, why are you looking for someone else? Are you having marital problems? Are you and your wife mismatched sexually?
For many of us here, this site provides us with many of the thrills and excitement that an affair would offer, without the risk. For others, it's become even more than that. Stick around, read some posts, get to know us better, and tell us what you think.
Jazzy strikes the perfect chord, as usual!

--G2

[cherokeered]

Im a married male. Im trying to figure out how to get some sex going with women I may flirt with
I dont believe in not revealing im not married. In fact, I thinks its best to disclose early on.
The hard part is proposing the idea.....How is this done in a suave manner?
Or could I make the woman propose the idea?
My mind operates under the premise that if I start making a move they will think a dirtbag because im married.
Pls advise!

Welcome hun...:wa:

Cherokee....

[Norfolkdave]

Hello Alga welcome

[Itshardon-theroad]

I think we all would concur with Jazzy. You need to figure out why you want this first. If it is just sex, there are other places better suited to that kind of encounter. Here, the members tend to grow together as friends, and occasionally more than that. If that is what you are looking for, the most important thing to remember is be yourself. The women here can tell when you are trying to be something that you are not, but that doesn't mean you can't flirt and talk about things you might like to have happen. You have to start slow though. Very few are interested in jumping right to the "bedroom" in chat and cybering. The fun here is in the chase, and you will have a lot of fun doing that!!!


Good luck and I hope you find what you want, whether it is here or somewhere else.

"Roadie"

[MCat]

I think we all would concur with Jazzy. You need to figure out why you want this first. If it is just sex, there are other places better suited to that kind of encounter. Here, the members tend to grow together as friends, and occasionally more than that. If that is what you are looking for, the most important thing to remember is be yourself. The women here can tell when you are trying to be something that you are not, but that doesn't mean you can't flirt and talk about things you might like to have happen. You have to start slow though. Very few are interested in jumping right to the "bedroom" in chat and cybering. The fun here is in the chase, and you will have a lot of fun doing that!!!


Good luck and I hope you find what you want, whether it is here or somewhere else.

"Roadie"

Exactly...the chase is the best part. ;)

[Itshardon-theroad]

Exactly...the chase is the best part. ;)

Tag! You're it!!! :knuddel:

[MCat]

Tag! You're it!!! :knuddel:

I won't run away....easy to catch ;)

[Itshardon-theroad]

I won't run away....easy to catch ;)

You may be easy to catch, but how easy is it to hold on to you? Or do I have to pin you down? ;)

[Algamob]

I havent done anything yet 1st of all. To answer why Im looking, its a combination of.... ok sex but not the best crazy sex with wife, my natural high levels of sexuality, Im still young and look good, etc

As for a sex friend, sure, someone you know longer term is good idea, and I do have several female friends.......

I honestly didnt sign up in this forum to look for women. I dont really look for women online. I signed up to ask married guys the question I asked earlier. Maybe Im in the wrong wesbsite?


To give you a little story: the other day I ran into this hot woman for the 3rd time in a 3rd different place. Total coincidence, we are not friends, nothing, I have simply recognized her 3 different times. The 3rd time, I could feel a little vibe from her. We spoke for a few minutes, and well, since in my mind I couldnt take it further because im married, we said bye. If I was single, I would have already have a date in place. So as a single person yes I would have known what to do.

But as a married person

[spare_change]

Welcome to the site, Alga. This is an interesting question.

Are you looking for something ongoing? Or a one night stand? It sounds to me like you're looking for a "friend with benefits", in which case, I think you need to build on a friendship first and create a certain level of trust. Also, you'd probably be better off hooking up with a married woman. I say this because she'd have just as much to lose as you, and would most likely maintain some discretion. Also, she probably wouldn't be expecting you to leave your wife and run away with her.

Damn!!! You been reading my playbook??

[flamengo130]

(This is the male of Flamingo) Good question. My response is to stay away from women you both call "friends". That will only lead to trouble. If it's just a sex thing, yer best bet is a one-timer (but be careful). Even better, talk to yer wife about it. Might surprise you!!

[Penny]

Flamingo I just bumped you two to Gold status You have been flying under the radar here for a long time :)

[Algamob]

hmmmm

[MCat]

You may be easy to catch, but how easy is it to hold on to you? Or do I have to pin you down? ;)

Oh yeah...pin me down, I'm a wiggler :D

[Itshardon-theroad]

Oh yeah...pin me down, I'm a wiggler :D

I like the wiggling...how do I get you to do that some more? :dd

[Jy]

Baby, I am your playbook!!Damn!!! You been reading my playbook??

[S.E]

The personals

[jman]

Much work and patience

[dave42]

I find that it is not easy. but like every thing else there is always a way to do everything. I was away from home to attend a school in texas for 6 mos. about 950 miles from where I live. My marriage has been steadily going down hill the past couple of years due to my wifes financial irriponsibility. I met a nice lady in a club, early mid 40's like me. I never asked her out we just danced. Later on in the week I was out shopping in this small town and I ran into her in the store where she worked. (How lucky is that!) She gave me her number. I wasn't sure if she was really my type but I figured it just dinner and drinks right, no harm done. One thing led to another and we were soon back at my place. She was amazing! we were together for 2 1/2 months. She did get attached and was upset when I left. I know she wanted more. But I was very up front with her at the beginning so she knew what she was getting into. We are still friends and we write to each other. It wasn't perfect, But It was a positive experience and I am not sorry for doing it. I think single guys and women have the advantage. You just have to find the right person with the right situation. keep searching ,it can be done!

[Good to Find (M)]

I find that it is not easy. but like every thing else there is always a way to do everything. I was away from home to attend a school in texas for 6 mos. about 950 miles from where I live. My marriage has been steadily going down hill the past couple of years due to my wifes financial irriponsibility. I met a nice lady in a club, early mid 40's like me. I never asked her out we just danced. Later on in the week I was out shopping in this small town and I ran into her in the store where she worked. (How lucky is that!) She gave me her number. I wasn't sure if she was really my type but I figured it just dinner and drinks right, no harm done. One thing led to another and we were soon back at my place. She was amazing! we were together for 2 1/2 months. She did get attached and was upset when I left. I know she wanted more. But I was very up front with her at the beginning so she knew what she was getting into. We are still friends and we write to each other. It wasn't perfect, But It was a positive experience and I am not sorry for doing it. I think single guys and women have the advantage. You just have to find the right person with the right situation. keep searching ,it can be done!
interesting story . . . that attachment factor is scary when you know you're not in a place where you can reciprocate . . . whether up-front about it or no.

--G2

[dave42]

A little scary at times. But we are still friends. She had many alluring qualities and We traveled everywhere and did things together. I satisfied some sexual curiosities and learned many things from it as well. She had a very bad marriage before. I think the whole thing caught both of us by suprise.

[letmethinking]

I wonder how to build trust in here. I am trying to get some someone to talk to but its hard to even get by them. Oh c'on, throw me some bone here....I am pretty new in here...:-)

[upstr84u]

hmmm - how do married men get lovers
isn't that why we fet / are married?

or you question might mean - how does a married man get a sexy - girl to fuck his brains out - without his wife ever finding out?

no help on this one - i married the lover girl

[Willy S]

I guess the answer must be persistence?

[dartgirl]

The same could be asked from the woman too. How do you find someone to hook-up with when you don't get to go to bars or get out much?

[upstr84u]

first off move out of damm idaho -- holy crap -- no chance out in nowhere land -- try Pa. girl

[CJSinIL]

I just make them laugh, and let things fall into place. Yet, i've never had sex with anyone else since I have been married...............but if the ole lady doesn't hurry up, that may end soon.



Im a married male. Im trying to figure out how to get some sex going with women I may flirt with

I dont believe in not revealing im not married. In fact, I thinks its best to disclose early on.

The hard part is proposing the idea.....How is this done in a suave manner?

Or could I make the woman propose the idea?

My mind operates under the premise that if I start making a move they will think a dirtbag because im married.

Pls advise!

[dartgirl]

first off move out of damm idaho -- holy crap -- no chance out in nowhere land -- try Pa. girl

I would if I could. It is definetly on my todo list. I wanna move to a city and see some action.

[upstr84u]

city -- try state -- it is idaho -- time to move - to a place with electricity and cable tv at least -- i have an extra room in the house -- but you will need to say you are the baby sitter

[Zifnab]

yellow pages!!

[Misty]

city -- try state -- it is idaho -- time to move - to a place with electricity and cable tv at least -- i have an extra room in the house -- but you will need to say you are the baby sitter


Yeah dart

and he is the baby :D :na



okie peace uppity
have fun
got to go take home the bacon...and i dun mean my ass :D

[upstr84u]

take care -- and please return -- i will miss you -- smacking me around all day

[dartgirl]

city -- try state -- it is idaho -- time to move - to a place with electricity and cable tv at least -- i have an extra room in the house -- but you will need to say you are the baby sitter

I'll have you know that I have satelitte TV. When I got married and moved out of my parents house I even got to have an indoor toilet. Hey that is no joke, up until 2 years ago I bet my parents were the only people in the city limits that still had a useable outhouse.

[upstr84u]

hey toss the lime on and close the door -- been to a place in canada last year -- just like your parents ----

[dartgirl]

My mom did better than that. My dad died and my mom tore down the barn, good-bye outhouse. It was an indoor one (barn that is). You can not image how embarassing it was as a teen-ager. Believe me I never brought anyone home. I could see my girlfriends reactions to the smell and the bugs, not to mention how much fun it was in the middle of winter as your butt freezes to the seat.

[Big O]

I would if I could. It is definetly on my todo list. I wanna move to a city and see some action.

When I was out there in August I drove through Idaho Falls. Nice town...
It even has a Super Walmart!!!

[dartgirl]

Oh lord, we have one of those too. Biggest monstrosity. I refuse to go there unless I absolutely have to. It grosses me out, all of the dregs of society shop there. I may have grown up poor but I was at least always clean.

[Big O]

Oh lord, we have one of those too. Biggest monstrosity. I refuse to go there unless I absolutely have to. It grosses me out, all of the dregs of society shop there. I may have grown up poor but I was at least always clean.

lol... they sure do! I deliver to one of them here and it is the same way.
can't beat the prices though!!

[MCat]

I wonder how to build trust in here. I am trying to get some someone to talk to but its hard to even get by them. Oh c'on, throw me some bone here....I am pretty new in here...:-)

Just participate in the threads...let us get to know you. :wa:

[rainbowhigh]

I know how you feel, but I honestly believe that if you step out of your comfort zone a little bit and join in on the threads, pretty soon you'll have so many people talking to you you can't keep them straight sometimes. :D As you read the posts you'll learn more and more about us - and as you respond to posts, we'll learn more about you. Just keep on talking to us.

:wa:


I wonder how to build trust in here. I am trying to get some someone to talk to but its hard to even get by them. Oh c'on, throw me some bone here....I am pretty new in here...:-)

[CJSinIL]

I just unzip my pants.

[CJSinIL]

Not really, but I'd be a lot cooler if I did.

[CJSinIL]

True, took me a long time to get to know people, and have conversations with them. Pimpalicious. I'm outta here all, have a wonderful night.



I know how you feel, but I honestly believe that if you step out of your comfort zone a little bit and join in on the threads, pretty soon you'll have so many people talking to you you can't keep them straight sometimes. :D As you read the posts you'll learn more and more about us - and as you respond to posts, we'll learn more about you. Just keep on talking to us.

:wa:

[Good to Find (M)]

Oh lord, we have one of those too. Biggest monstrosity. I refuse to go there unless I absolutely have to. It grosses me out, all of the dregs of society shop there. I may have grown up poor but I was at least always clean.
Dartgirl,

I love Idaho myself, second only to Montana.

--G2

[Norfolkdave]

Hell now I got to find a good lover, ladies any offers LOL

[haggisbasher]

Dave, you are asking me ?

If I may, I think Yasar (btw - i think he his the king of romance !) would suggest you listen & then you talk. You give & then she might share. You cook for her & she will eat ! (well if she's from my country, cooking should work !) ... good luck to ya !

[Norfolkdave]

Dave, you are asking me ?

If I may, I think Yasar (btw - i think he his the king of romance !) would suggest you listen & then you talk. You give & then she might share. You cook for her & she will eat ! (well if she's from my country, cooking should work !) ... good luck to ya !

Hell Im bantering man, I got a harem already LOL, we are all touring LOL:knuddel: :55

[OzarkJohn]

Its tough for me too. First of all, I live in a VERY small town and everyone knows either me or my wife. My wife's lived in this town her whole life, and I've lived here 10 years. I've tried to strike up a conversation with a woman that I didn't happen to know once, and she ended up saying something like, tell "wife's name" hello. Then I work in a public place with strict guidlines opposite sex friendships, so thats pretty much that.
The one person who has tried to get something going with me is my wife's sister, and she's even more neurotic than my wife and I can only see how that would blow up in my face.


But after being married 10 years, I've come to realize that my signals are way off so you might think about that. Before I was married, if a woman looked at me I would smile, now I've realized my smile has gotten pretty pathetic, or I would just kind of nod. Just smiling the right way at women who come in to where I work and I've gotten more flirting in return. And then women flirting with me has given me back some of my swagger, and I think the wife even likes that. Right now I'd just like to strike up a friendship with a woman who lives close to me and is close to my age.

[Zifnab]

I always thought asking was a good start....

[Poncho]

Good feedback for Alga as I am in a similar situation. Nice to read helpful responses.

[Upstanding]

Well, let's see. First find a woman. Don't have a lot of requirements, like she has to have the body of X or the face of Y. I find if I limit it to people that i like, who can carry a conversation and are intellectually stimlulating, I've narrowed the field enough. besides, if they met those requirements, chances are they will like me.

Then I talk to them. A lot. Then some more. By then you should know if they really like you or are just tolerating you because you have the key to the only clean restroom for 80 miles. After that, you talk some more, and it better be very frank, honest from the soul talk.

No it had better be that way from the start. Ok, now, ....

I forget, what was the question?

[Fishercat]

Persistance and courage

[Traxster]

Put an ad in the New York Times......

[twoblues]

It can be difficult to find another woman to have an affair with due to the discretion invovled. I'm from a decent sized city with huge suburbs, so I have a lot of "space" to work with, but I can see it being quite difficult in a small town.

My previous 3 forays into extra-marital fun have been with married women. All of whom I've met online. Two out of the 3 were good and the other one was crazy.

For me, it's easier to meet and chat safely with a woman online before meeting them in public. I suppose it's because I prefer a woman with a brain as opposed to a one night insubstantial fling. Affairs are much more fun, for me, when they involve more than one "meeting".

Best way to think about it is that you shouldn't "rush it" because that's when mistakes are made and people get hurt. I've never hidden the fact that I'm married because that can lead to no end of trouble. If the other party knows you are married then they know that they need to be discrete, etc...

As the other guy said, work on your smile. It all starts with a smile.

[sex_kitten_4u]

Dave, you are asking me ?

If I may, I think Yasar (btw - i think he his the king of romance !) would suggest you listen & then you talk. You give & then she might share. You cook for her & she will eat ! (well if she's from my country, cooking should work !) ... good luck to ya !


cookingn would not work for me :D

[spare_change]

"You have to make love to my mind before you can fuck my body."
--- Karen

[hotstuff]

Make friends with unsatisfied wives.

[twoblues]

^ Absolutely agree. They are usually as pent up as you are.

[Kissie]

"You have to make love to my mind before you can fuck my body."
--- Karen





Spare you werent supposed to tell everyone I told you that!!!!!!!! :lmao

[Willy S]

carefully

[dartgirl]

Makes sense. Gotta know they can keep a secret.

[Willy S]

or at least be somewhat discrete, I guess (unless they're really good, then: who cares?!)

[Norfolkdave]

Flirt and paitence

[hoss]

hmmm....all i do is act like me and they flock to me like beavers to trees....

hehehehehehehehe...it must be my bad boy image...

hang on i'll ask a few of them.....

[rainbowhigh]

hmmm....all i do is act like me and they flock to me like beavers to trees....

hehehehehehehehe...it must be my bad boy image...

hang on i'll ask a few of them.....

Like beavers to trees, huh? That's exactly what I would want to be compared to. :nu

[hoss]

Like beavers to trees, huh? That's exactly what I would want to be compared to. :nu

i was going to say : like zits to a teenagers face...:D

[rainbowhigh]

that's not any better....

Can't you come up with something nice? :D

i was going to say : like zits to a teenagers face...:D

[hoss]

that's not any better....

Can't you come up with something nice? :D

nice ????...i'm a bad boy remember ......BAD BOY.....geezzzzzzz

[Cotties]

With a great deal of luck

[yaser]

The one who needs finds

[twoblues]

There is some luck involved, but also some determination. I'll admit that out of every 5 or so possible "dates" only 1 works out. It's all about finding another person who is as needy as you are for it to truly work out.

Attractive qualities help too.

[Mickey1]

I don't have the slightest clue.:sc

[nicenkinkyguy]

I have never looked but feel that if you are determined to get a lover you will find one with looking in the right places. Also you have one attached to your wrist! LOL

[altoids69]

Sometimes it just happens........don't necessarily have to look.......

[Mickey1]

Sometimes it just happens........don't necessarily have to look.......

You could be right altoid. :wa:

[altoids69]

You could be right altoid. :wa:

Thanks, Mickey!! I am speaking from experience here!!! Sometimes, it happens in the place you'd least expect it. Something innocent suddenly becomes something more.......

[nicenkinkyguy]

very true....

[Mickey1]

Thanks, Mickey!! I am speaking from experience here!!! Sometimes, it happens in the place you'd least expect it. Something innocent suddenly becomes something more.......

I won't doubt your word altoids. :) I've known one or two who have had them but that as they say is another story. :)

[altoids69]

I won't doubt your word altoids. :) I've known one or two who have had them but that as they say is another story. :)

Honestly, if you met me, I'd be probably the least likely person you'd pick to have an affair. I have a very wholesome look about me and I'm the typical soccer mom. Sometimes chemistry is hard to fight. The person I have a relationship with is married and so am I. I had always found him attractive, but never contemplated anything other than the relationship we already had. One thing led to another and here I am almost a year later......It's good.......it's hard to do though......I suggest that anyone contemplating having an affair to think long and hard. I've not had to deal with consequences, but it's one thing you have to prepare for.

[Mickey1]

Honestly, if you met me, I'd be probably the least likely person you'd pick to have an affair. I have a very wholesome look about me and I'm the typical soccer mom. Sometimes chemistry is hard to fight. The person I have a relationship with is married and so am I. I had always found him attractive, but never contemplated anything other than the relationship we already had. One thing led to another and here I am almost a year later......It's good.......it's hard to do though......I suggest that anyone contemplating having an affair to think long and hard. I've not had to deal with consequences, but it's one thing you have to prepare for.

I can see your point. And while it is unlikely that I will ever have an affair I can't help but wonder sometimes. :sc

[altoids69]

I can see your point. And while it is unlikely that I will ever have an affair I can't help but wonder sometimes. :sc

Yeah.......if you had told me a year ago I'd have an affair, I would have laughed. One never knows........;)

[Mickey1]

Yeah.......if you had told me a year ago I'd have an affair, I would have laughed. One never knows........;)

I never thought of myself as the type that some women would be interested in. I think of myself as fairly average with and irish look about me. ;)

[altoids69]

I never thought of myself as the type that some women would be interested in. I think of myself as fairly average with and irish look about me. ;)

Don't sell yourself short. I find my partner very attractive, but I don't know if he's someone that most women would do a double take on. Ok....if they saw his legs they might, but normally, I don't think so...... He's cute.

[Mickey1]

Don't sell yourself short. I find my partner very attractive, but I don't know if he's someone that most women would do a double take on. Ok....if they saw his legs they might, but normally, I don't think so...... He's cute.

Well, I posted a picture of myself here on a night that I was a little off, you can judge for yourself if you like. I have been thinking about removing it. I still don't know what posessed me to post it. :D

[altoids69]

Well, I posted a picture of myself here on a night that I was a little off, you can judge for yourself if you like. I have been thinking about removing it. I still don't know what posessed me to post it. :D

You have nothing to be ashamed of. You're a nice looking guy. And beauty's in the eye of the beholder. If we all liked the same, we'd all be in trouble!!!

[Mickey1]

You have nothing to be ashamed of. You're a nice looking guy. And beauty's in the eye of the beholder. If we all liked the same, we'd all be in trouble!!!

I know you are right altoid still and all. Thanks for the compliment. :)

[altoids69]

I know you are right altoid still and all. Thanks for the compliment. :)

You're welcome!! ;)

[Mickey1]

You're welcome!! ;)

I hope we chat again later, right now I have to make dinner. With any luck I won't burn the pork chops. :D

[altoids69]

I hope we chat again later, right now I have to make dinner. With any luck I won't burn the pork chops. :D

I'm making dinner myself!! We will chat again!!

[MIGHTY]

I never thought of myself as the type that some women would be interested in. I think of myself as fairly average with and irish look about me. ;)

Just the fact that you have an Irish look about you got my attention..nothing wrong with the Irish look!;)

[RedHeadGuy1967]

Hi Mighty!

[Mickey1]

Just the fact that you have an Irish look about you got my attention..nothing wrong with the Irish look!;)

Thanks MightyMrs. I appreciate the compliment. ;)

[Cotties]

By telling women they will soon leave their wife if they meet the right women

[cherokeered]

By telling women they will soon leave their wife if they meet the right women

Now that I believe......


Cherokee....:)

[Barkiss]

Naw...by claiming to be gay and having a small dick...;)

[Cotties]

you have to respect a man thats only strong point with women is sympathy:D ......Naw...by claiming to be gay and having a small dick...;)

[Barkiss]

you have to respect a man thats only strong point with women is sympathy:D ......

Only getting them to let down their guard...well at least I assume what guys like that are doing...as for me..I have no clue.

[MIGHTY]

By telling women they will soon leave their wife if they meet the right women

...not exactly, champ..

[Cotties]

well how about by telling them my wife doesn't take care of me in bed...I'm so lonely:sc ...not exactly, champ..

[Mickey1]

I couldn't see lying to a woman about weither or not I would leave my wife. Of course that's just me.

[Cotties]

by acting like their wife doesn't even exist and they are the only women in the world worth thinking about

[Mickey1]

by acting like their wife doesn't even exist and they are the only women in the world worth thinking about

It's possible but I can't see a woman being either that blind or stupid not to be able to see through a line like that Cotties. I haven't met very many stupid women in my life just a few really stupid men.

[Cotties]

you seem to have a few answers Mickey...I just can't see them yetIt's possible but I can't see a woman being either that blind or stupid not to be able to see through a line like that Cotties. I haven't met very many stupid women in my life just a few really stupid men.

[Mickey1]

you seem to have a few answers Mickey...I just can't see them yet

I don't know if they are really answers or just observations of a guy who has never had an affair of any kind.

[Cotties]

so lets have some fun with it then..


how about being an amazing man and the women has nothing against sharing
I don't know if they are really answers or just observations of a guy who has never had an affair of any kind.

[spare_change]

Having had a little experience in this area, allow my observations, for what they are worth -

You guys make it sound like a battle campaign. If you do this, than she will do that ... and if you two things, she will fall in bed.

It doesn't work like that -- you don't plan an invasion. It just happens -- you develop a relationship, just like all other relationships, and then, if the moon is right, the time is right, and the signs are right, you push the envelope, progress --- most often, you end up in a place you didn't intend, but wouldn't go back for any reason.

[Cotties]

being a sweet talker must really help as well.......



nicely said Spare....

[MIGHTY]

Having had a little experience in this area, allow my observations, for what they are worth -

You guys make it sound like a battle campaign. If you do this, than she will do that ... and if you two things, she will fall in bed.

It doesn't work like that -- you don't plan an invasion. It just happens -- you develop a relationship, just like all other relationships, and then, if the moon is right, the time is right, and the signs are right, you push the envelope, progress --- most often, you end up in a place you didn't intend, but wouldn't go back for any reason.

Amen!:)

[Cotties]

I thought that was an amen to my sweet talkin man wins the show commentAmen!:)

[Mickey1]

I never thought of trying to get woman as a campagin. I don't think anything that I've said here would ever indicate that I thought that way.:sc That is far from the impression that I wanted to make.

[MIGHTY]

Spare was right. Women aren't stupid..nieve, sometimes.The relationship is more important than the sex with a new "friend". For me, it's nice to have another man's point of view. It doesn't always lead to sex, nor should it. But, for some it is inevidable. You either deny the chemistry or give into it. I, myself, have denied on occassion. Bottom line..there are women willing to give just sex. Then there are those of us who need care and concern and sympathy..a true friend.
If you get sex from that relationship, you're either lucky, really smooth, or just plain blessed.

[Mickey1]

Spare was right. Women aren't stupid..nieve, sometimes.The relationship is more important than the sex with a new "friend". For me, it's nice to have another man's point of view. It doesn't always lead to sex, nor should it. But, for some it is inevidable. You either deny the chemistry or give into it. I, myself, have denied on occassion. Bottom line..there are women willing to give just sex. Then there are those of us who need care and concern and sympathy..a true friend.
If you get sex from that relationship, you're either lucky, really smooth, or just plain blessed.

I think I said something along those lines earlier MightyMrs.:wa:

[cherokeered]

well how about by telling them my wife doesn't take care of me in bed...I'm so lonely:sc


We have seen a picture of your wife...and believe nothing you say....lol


Cherokee...;)

[Cotties]

don't go taking the innuendo meant for me personally Mickey...:D


someone needs to get the thread pumping....lots of loose comments often get people thinking
I never thought of trying to get woman as a campagin. I don't think anything that I've said here would ever indicate that I thought that way.:sc That is far from the impression that I wanted to make.

[rainbowhigh]

Are you getting into trouble again, Cotties??? ;)



don't go taking the innuendo meant for me personally Mickey...:D


someone needs to get the thread pumping....lots of loose comments often get people thinking

[Cotties]

I told her not to circulate them on the net... but good porn move fast;) We have seen a picture of your wife...and believe nothing you say....lol


Cherokee...;)

[altoids69]

Naw...by claiming to be gay and having a small dick...;)

You made me laugh out loud on this one, barkiss!!!!!;)

[Barkiss]

You made me laugh out loud on this one, barkiss!!!!!;)

I like taking the non-threatening approach. :)

[altoids69]

I like taking the non-threatening approach. :)

Ya know what? It works on women!! I don't know how many times someone has said "He's gay" about a certain actor or singer and I've said "Honey, if he's gay, I'm in line to prove to him he's not!!!"

[Barkiss]

Ya know what? It works on women!! I don't know how many times someone has said "He's gay" about a certain actor or singer and I've said "Honey, if he's gay, I'm in line to prove to him he's not!!!"

Point proven! I'm homosexual and proud! Now...can someone prove to me that I'm not? ;)

[Bundle_Baby]

Point proven! I'm homosexual and proud! Now...can someone prove to me that I'm not? ;)

Scooby's gay!!! Nooooooo!

[Barkiss]

Scooby's gay!!! Nooooooo!

shhh....looking for help to prove me wrong, interested? ;)

[Bundle_Baby]

shhh....looking for help to prove me wrong, interested? ;)

Is that a big tail or are you just pleased to see me?

xxx BB

[altoids69]

Having had a little experience in this area, allow my observations, for what they are worth -

You guys make it sound like a battle campaign. If you do this, than she will do that ... and if you two things, she will fall in bed.

It doesn't work like that -- you don't plan an invasion. It just happens -- you develop a relationship, just like all other relationships, and then, if the moon is right, the time is right, and the signs are right, you push the envelope, progress --- most often, you end up in a place you didn't intend, but wouldn't go back for any reason.

And that's exactly what it is, spare!!! You hit the nail on the head!!

[Barkiss]

Is that a big tail or are you just pleased to see me?

xxx BB

All I'll say is...it is to scale. ;)

[MIGHTY]

Ya know what? It works on women!! I don't know how many times someone has said "He's gay" about a certain actor or singer and I've said "Honey, if he's gay, I'm in line to prove to him he's not!!!"

As far as hot men being gay..my response is usually " Doesn't that figure! Just one more fricken fish yanked out of our male sea!" But I don't want to prove it wrong.

But I can tell you that a man once told me that he'd nev er experienced a certain something in bed. I started caring for him and wanted to be the first woman to show him how good it could be. I, like a dumbass, did just that. A while later, my azzhol e radar began working again and I realized it was just a line. Can't believe I fell for it..but it worked.:nu

[Dmy]

As far as hot men being gay..my response is usually " Doesn't that figure! Just one more fricken fish yanked out of our male sea!" But I don't want to prove it wrong.

But I can tell you that a man once told me that he'd nev er experienced a certain something in bed. I started caring for him and wanted to be the first woman to show him how good it could be. I, like a dumbass, did just that. A while later, my azzhol e radar began working again and I realized it was just a line. Can't believe I fell for it..but it worked.:nu

ouuuuuuuhh...... thats pretty low........:nu

You sound like your one little TNT package with some big results ;) :knuddel: :D

[MIGHTY]

ouuuuuuuhh...... thats pretty low........:nu

You sound like your one little TNT package with some big results ;) :knuddel: :D

Just one more reason they call me Mighty!:gs

[OICurready4me]

Normally, just being open about what you need and want. That way the woman can't feel like she was mislead and will leave a bad taste in her mouth (so to speak). I let them know right up front what I an looking for and ask the same from them. If we are on the same page from the beginning, there are a whole lot less issues to deal with then and down the road. That's just what I've encountered and my opinion but so far, have had little to no issues when I approached it this way. It's tough to say "be honest" when the whole idea is that your being dishonest right from the get go. So the best thing is being straight about things, if it's a match great if not, move on.

[OICurready4me]

well, Mighty, sounds like your a**hole meter got unplugged somewhere along the way. Just look at it as a learning experience, btw, any room in that class of yours so I can be taught the same as the last guy?

[OICurready4me]

And that's exactly what it is, spare!!! You hit the nail on the head!!
I guess you would call that a sneak attack instead of an invasion. In a case like that, I guess one would have to approach from the rear.

[Mickey1]

What have I missed so far?

[clueless32m]

Again, I know I am clueless. Wouldn't ya attract a lover the same way you attracted your spouse? Or do we forget how to accomplish this somewhere along the way of married life?

[altoids69]

Again, I know I am clueless. Wouldn't ya attract a lover the same way you attracted your spouse? Or do we forget how to accomplish this somewhere along the way of married life?

I think you do attract them the same way, but a lot of times it's not intentional. Does that make sense?

[twoblues]

^ Agreed. It's the same, but it's not. For me personally, I was a lot more...er...desperate when I was playing the singles game. For me, it's almost easier because I am not desperate or in a rush to find that extra someone. If it happens it happens, and I think that allows women to feel more comfortable around me. I'm "safe" because I'm married. Sometimes, I find a woman almost lets her guard down around me and ends up being closer to me than she initially expected.

[clueless32m]

I think you do attract them the same way, but a lot of times it's not intentional. Does that make sense?

Happens to me all the time. :na

[clueless32m]

^Sometimes, I find a woman almost lets her guard down around me and ends up being closer to me than she initially expected.

I now see your cunning ways. Master, teach me!

[twoblues]

Ha. I've always been a good listener, now I just listen to the complaints of married woman. One time, I was at this wedding and while my wife was up dancing, this other married lady sidled over and struck up a conversation. I suppose she'd hit the open bar a few times, but then she went into this sad tirade about how her wedding day was like this and how she'd wish she was still as happy. A few prodding questions eventually leads to the fact that her sex life sucks....etc...I agree, say she's not alone....I end up giving her my email address (something anonymous) and tell her if she wants to talk again, just send me a message. She did, we talked and then some ;)

Well, I think it also has something to do with the marriage band around my finger and the idea that "what does he have that another woman wanted". Perhaps it brings out their predatory instincts?

[Suz]

I love the chase, so much excitement and passion. Bring it on boys!!

[twoblues]

And here is my proof guys. Suz1973 is the type of woman that you should be seeking. Find someone who wants it like you do, but don't forget to still play by some dating rules. Chase her a little, make her feel wanted, feel special. Give her the attention that she has come to lack for some reason in her current relationship.

[MIGHTY]

well, Mighty, sounds like your a**hole meter got unplugged somewhere along the way. Just look at it as a learning experience, btw, any room in that class of yours so I can be taught the same as the last guy?

Not sure you're ready for my class..going to need to see some credentials..lol

[Cotties]

well after a year ..... I have no poof you're notPoint proven! I'm homosexual and proud! Now...can someone prove to me that I'm not? ;)

[Cotties]

by paying for them is easy and safe

[Mickey1]

Not sure you're ready for my class..going to need to see some credentials..lol

I'm not sure that I would ever be ready for class but one never knows. :D I'm not sure if I would know what to do if it actually happened. :sc

[MIGHTY]

I'm not sure that I would ever be ready for class but one never knows. :D I'm not sure if I would know what to do if it actually happened. :sc

That's why it's called "class" silly. You just leave the teachin' to me and everything will turn out just fine...;) :gs

[Mickey1]

That's why it's called "class" silly. You just leave the teachin' to me and everything will turn out just fine...;) :gs

Then I put myself in your capable hands MighyMrs ;)

[Dmy]

Not sure you're ready for my class..going to need to see some credentials..lol

What credentials do I need to have...I'd be the first to enroll! :kk ;) is this a night class! :D

[nicenkinkyguy]

I need one so if there is anyone out there that can help me out let me know!

[twoblues]

What credentials do I need to have...I'd be the first to enroll! :kk ;) is this a night class! :D

Nah, it can't be a night class, the Missus' would wonder where we were ;)

[Mickey1]

If to many people enroll I may have to bring a recorder of some kind. I don't hear so well. :D :whee:

[OICurready4me]

I love the chase, so much excitement and passion. Bring it on boys!!


So, are you always the chasee or the chaser? If you're the chaser, I'm here just waiting to be caught.

[sirman1]

Welcome to the site!

[skysthelimit]

:wa: hello algamob...welcome :wa:

Ummm.. I don't really know what you said or responded... but after seeing your avatar....who really cares???!!

Wow,,,, nice av....

[Cotties]

Sir Man...you should be our door man;) Welcome to the site!

[yaser]

Sir Man...you should be our door man;)
No, I am an in doorman..

[Barkiss]

Sir Man...you should be our door man;)

LOL - Except he missed a couple by a year or so....;)

[Crawfish]

Im a married male. Im trying to figure out how to get some sex going with women I may flirt with

I dont believe in not revealing im not married. In fact, I thinks its best to disclose early on.

The hard part is proposing the idea.....How is this done in a suave manner?

Or could I make the woman propose the idea?

My mind operates under the premise that if I start making a move they will think a dirtbag because im married.

Pls advise!

When you figure it out let me know!:D

[Cotties]

what he hell is doorman Yasar me old mateNo, I am an in doorman..

[nsamale]

well ladies...what do u think??? How is it that we can get a lover...what would make u want us to be ur lover...:)

[Willy S]

cautiously

[altoids69]

I think if you go out looking for it, you'll get a fling. If you want a one-time, maybe two-time thing, you'll find it. But if you're wanting something more (and maybe this applies to us women moreso), you can't go out in search for it. It will happen when you least expect it.

[nsamale]

Well then...guess ill stop looking...anyone wana chat???



I think if you go out looking for it, you'll get a fling. If you want a one-time, maybe two-time thing, you'll find it. But if you're wanting something more (and maybe this applies to us women moreso), you can't go out in search for it. It will happen when you least expect it.

[gussy422]

Exactly...the chase is the best part. ;)
Nice avatar

[gussy422]

I think if you go out looking for it, you'll get a fling. If you want a one-time, maybe two-time thing, you'll find it. But if you're wanting something more (and maybe this applies to us women moreso), you can't go out in search for it. It will happen when you least expect it.
What flavor is that lollipop?

[altoids69]

What flavor is that lollipop?

Butterscotch.........just like a Buttery Nipple.........:D

[OICurready4me]

Look to your past, in many cases, if you want to find a lover. There are many times someone you dated in the past that still has the hots for you would be willing to jump on the saddle, so to speak. If your only looking for something short term, that may not be the way to go because she may want to re-kindle the past and could get ugly but if it really is for something long term, many times the lovers in your past, especially if they have feelings for you, may have grown themselves into the person you expected when you dated them the first time.

[gussy422]

Im a married male. Im trying to figure out how to get some sex going with women I may flirt with

I dont believe in not revealing im not married. In fact, I thinks its best to disclose early on.

The hard part is proposing the idea.....How is this done in a suave manner?

Or could I make the woman propose the idea?

My mind operates under the premise that if I start making a move they will think a dirtbag because im married.

Pls advise!
If you lick it, it will cum

[gussy422]

Butterscotch.........just like a Buttery Nipple.........:D
Oh now that's just plain not playing fair. lol:whee:

[OICurready4me]

Butterscotch.........just like a Buttery Nipple.........:D


You're killing us, Alt, just plain killing us....:whee:

[nycblueyedman]

:55 Oh now that's just plain not playing fair. lol:whee:

all's fair in love and war....:knuddel:

[altoids69]

Oh now that's just plain not playing fair. lol:whee:

I never said I play fair;) ...........

[yaser]

what he hell is doorman Yasar me old mate
I don't rememeber..One lady here hired me to give signal when hubby headed home..Because sha was cheating with a man ..But no money paid for yet..

[pointofnoreturn]

just put your lips together and....blow....

[yaser]

just put your lips together and....blow....
Up lips on up lips :lf and lips down on a protrusion..

[pointofnoreturn]

Up lips on up lips :lf and lips down on a protrusion..I believe that would be in the seduction thread.......kisses:wa:

[Bdysntcher]

I've given up thinking I'll find anyone interested in this married man. At least for anything more than chat

[angelis]

I've given up thinking I'll find anyone interested in this married man. At least for anything more than chat

Aw are you going for the sympathy angle there Bdysntcher?!!:kk

[yaser]

I believe that would be in the seduction thread.......kisses:wa:
Pointo is there such a thread?

[Bdysntcher]

No Angeliss. Just stating my opinion based on my experience. :-)

[ErkLover]

welcome good luck and have fun ^^

[living to Flirt]

I starting to think if you try to hard, it becomes a turn off. When your married, least I found, woman flirt with you more... almost like they know nothing will happen, or can I make him wander.... just my thoughts

[Milk]

Married people can find lovers. Make sure you are discrete and be honest about your marital status. There are sites specifically for that.

[living to Flirt]

Married people can find lovers. Make sure you are discrete and be honest about your marital status. There are sites specifically for that.

hmmmm, really Milk.... do tell?!?

[pointofnoreturn]

Why don't you just try a soft touch on the shoulder????Eye contact a must.

[living to Flirt]

Hmmm soft touch... so my caveman approach of hitting you over the head and draggin you to my cave is not a good one.... I will have to try that!!!!!!

[pointofnoreturn]

Hmmm soft touch... so my caveman approach of hitting you over the head and draggin you to my cave is not a good one.... I will have to try that!!!!!!CAveman approach not good unless you want me out for the round...:D

[Annie]

Looks to me like Heaterman figured it out quite nicely!!!


http://www.marriedandflirtingchat.com/forums/showthread.php?t=4153


The only guy I know of that can have his cake and eat it too!

[living to Flirt]

CAveman approach not good unless you want me out for the round...:D

Oh no... want you for many rounds, yes, yes!!!

[pointofnoreturn]

How about a lot of frickin money??

[unctarheel_32]

well where are the unsatified wive at

[surfdude]

Im a married male. Im trying to figure out how to get some sex going with women I may flirt with

I dont believe in not revealing im not married. In fact, I thinks its best to disclose early on.

The hard part is proposing the idea.....How is this done in a suave manner?

Or could I make the woman propose the idea?

My mind operates under the premise that if I start making a move they will think a dirtbag because im married.

Pls advise!

I'm not going to try and discourage you or anything, this is just something for you to think about: If anything goes wrong with the protection you are using, you are risking both your wife and yourself.

If you can easily explain why you won't be having sex with her until the AIDS and STD tests come back, go for it.

I only say this because condoms break; I've been there, my friends have been there, one now has herpes because of it. I can't imagine that was a fun night back at his house, you know?

So do your thing, man, just be sure you got all the angles covered. If you're still married I'm sure you don't want to hurt her.

[AffableOne]

How do married men get lovers?

Not an expert here.....


but a willing learner.....

[Wil]

How about a lot of frickin money??


thats first...then find the time...and hope like hell the photos dont pop-up....a la A-Rod...thats gonna leave a mark..ouch..

[ErkLover]

just flirt with women be hosent and be truthful and sweet that usually helps ^^

[pointofnoreturn]

just flirt with women be hosent and be truthful and sweet that usually helps ^^Nah forget all of that. Money!!!:D

[MiamiMan68]

You cannot force it...it just happens...just flirt, be confident and it will fall into place...

[MiamiMan68]

money helps if you just want to get it, but I don't think you would want those that are there for the money...for that you hire someone

[pointofnoreturn]

WAnt ads??

[Tom4u2here]

just flirt with women be hosent and be truthful and sweet that usually helps ^^

My problem is its my wifes friends that flirt with me.. Sure I'd love to have an affair with a few of them.. But as soon as I would try something I'm sure they would let her know.

[Gray451]

Most likely when u least expect it..like everyhting else good

[AffableOne]

Nah forget all of that. Money!!!:D


damn.......

I'm out.

:(

[Amaretto]

romance
attention to details about her
generous with your time
respect
honesty
that "connection" that is not easily defined, but you know it when you feel it

these are all pretty high on my list

[MCat]

I have no clue about this subject but these are my thoughts :

It would be hard to have a physical affair with a married man, especially if there are children to think about.

If he's any kind of man at all, he will be spending lots of quality time with his family - which will limit the amount of time he has for you.

If he's any kind of man at all, he will be financially providing for his family which will limit the resources he has to spend on you.

If he's any kind of man at all, he will be respecting his wife and his children - which means he wouldn't be having a physical affair with you in the first place.

[Amaretto]

Quote:
Originally Posted by pointofnoreturn
Nah forget all of that. Money!!!:D


damn.......


I'm out.

:(

Don't give up aff. Money isn't high on my list. Wait....it doesn't even show up on my list.

I've seen quite a romantic streak in your posts. Whoever is on your mind is a damn lucky woman.

[pointofnoreturn]

damn.......

I'm out.

:(You know I am kidding right Aff????I can buy for you also....:kk

[Amaretto]

I have no clue about this subject but these are my thoughts :

It would be hard to have a physical affair with a married man, especially if there are children to think about.

If he's any kind of man at all, he will be spending lots of quality time with his family - which will limit the amount of time he has for you.

If he's any kind of man at all, he will be financially providing for his family which will limit the resources he has to spend on you.

If he's any kind of man at all, he will be respecting his wife and his children - which means he wouldn't be having a physical affair with you in the first place.

MCat, a year ago I would have agreed with everything you said. Now, I would still agree with you about the quality time; I wouldn't want a married man to spend so much time with me that his marriage further deteriorated.

Regarding financial resources---definitely should be spent on his family. I don't care about material things or expensive dinners or anything else regarding his money.

But the last point you make---that's the one my thinking has really changed on. Some marriages are devoid of passion and intimacy. If one partner is simply not interested, why must the other simply do without? Is it really better to live one's life missing out on one of the greatest joys, the greatest highs, all in the name of "being faithful," "monogamy"? I'm not convinced that is the supreme path anymore. It doesn't mean a man loves his wife any less if he has a physical relationship with another woman----it just means he acknowledges the God-given desire for intimacy and doesn't want to live a lifetime (or extended time) without it.

I say all of this from my own perspective, as a woman who for MANY years had no interest in sex. Sure, I'd be willing to "just lay there" a couple times a month for hub, hoping he'd hurry up and get it over with. Numerous health issues caused me to have zero interest whatsoever.

Now that I am healthy and our sex life is fabulous, I feel terrible to know what I caused hub to miss out on for 10 years. It's very nice, in a way, that he never strayed, but part of me thinks he was crazy to live that way for so long. I no longer think he would have been disrespecting me if he had chosen to look elsewhere to have his needs met when I was unable to do so.

[Cotties]

thats pretty open minded there amaretto...


lets say he still wants more than you are willing to give....would you still understand?

[Amaretto]

thats pretty open minded there amaretto...


lets say he still wants more than you are willing to give....would you still understand?

yes. we are both very open minded. life is more fun that way.

[PlayfulMale69]

MCat, a year ago I would have agreed with everything you said. Now, I would still agree with you about the quality time; I wouldn't want a married man to spend so much time with me that his marriage further deteriorated.

Regarding financial resources---definitely should be spent on his family. I don't care about material things or expensive dinners or anything else regarding his money.

But the last point you make---that's the one my thinking has really changed on. Some marriages are devoid of passion and intimacy. If one partner is simply not interested, why must the other simply do without? Is it really better to live one's life missing out on one of the greatest joys, the greatest highs, all in the name of "being faithful," "monogamy"? I'm not convinced that is the supreme path anymore. It doesn't mean a man loves his wife any less if he has a physical relationship with another woman----it just means he acknowledges the God-given desire for intimacy and doesn't want to live a lifetime (or extended time) without it.

I say all of this from my own perspective, as a woman who for MANY years had no interest in sex. Sure, I'd be willing to "just lay there" a couple times a month for hub, hoping he'd hurry up and get it over with. Numerous health issues caused me to have zero interest whatsoever.

Now that I am healthy and our sex life is fabulous, I feel terrible to know what I caused hub to miss out on for 10 years. It's very nice, in a way, that he never strayed, but part of me thinks he was crazy to live that way for so long. I no longer think he would have been disrespecting me if he had chosen to look elsewhere to have his needs met when I was unable to do so.

wanna explain that to my wife??

[Amaretto]

wanna explain that to my wife??

Have her read my post. See what she thinks. (print it out as a word doc so she doesn't know the site source, if being here is a problem for you).

I truly wish more women did see it this way. We are programmed by our culture to put monogamy up on some pedastal, even if the people in the relationship are miserable. Or maybe they are somewhat happy, but just don't click physically. Or maybe they just want more!

It's kind of like the vow of celibacy that certain religions have their leaders take (hope I'm not stepping on any toes here). I do not, and never will, see anything admirable about denying one's self of the greatest human experience possible.

When sex and love go hand in hand, it's a beautiful thing. But they do not have to go hand in hand. For a person to take a vow of marriage, say at age 25, only to discover a few years down that road that something really important is missing.....
I don't see it as a noble virtue to settle for living without passion and intimacy. Who made these rules anyway?

One day, maybe I'll write a book. You can buy it for your wife, playfulmale69. Maybe I will change the world! :D

[MCat]

But the last point you make---that's the one my thinking has really changed on. Some marriages are devoid of passion and intimacy. If one partner is simply not interested, why must the other simply do without? Is it really better to live one's life missing out on one of the greatest joys, the greatest highs, all in the name of "being faithful," "monogamy"? I'm not convinced that is the supreme path anymore. It doesn't mean a man loves his wife any less if he has a physical relationship with another woman----it just means he acknowledges the God-given desire for intimacy and doesn't want to live a lifetime (or extended time) without it.

I say all of this from my own perspective, as a woman who for MANY years had no interest in sex. Sure, I'd be willing to "just lay there" a couple times a month for hub, hoping he'd hurry up and get it over with. Numerous health issues caused me to have zero interest whatsoever.

Now that I am healthy and our sex life is fabulous, I feel terrible to know what I caused hub to miss out on for 10 years. It's very nice, in a way, that he never strayed, but part of me thinks he was crazy to live that way for so long. I no longer think he would have been disrespecting me if he had chosen to look elsewhere to have his needs met when I was unable to do so.

I totally agree with you from my newly discovered point of view. Now that I totally realize what great sex is all about I can't imagine denying my husband all there is to offer, even if it means him with another woman eventually.
We wasted so many years not helping each other be happy.

However, if I were the wife or husband of the man or woman you were having the affair with, emotionally it would be a quite different story I'm sure.

[thickitalian]

:55 :55 :55



Welcome to the site, Alga. This is an interesting question.

Are you looking for something ongoing? Or a one night stand? It sounds to me like you're looking for a "friend with benefits", in which case, I think you need to build on a friendship first and create a certain level of trust. Also, you'd probably be better off hooking up with a married woman. I say this because she'd have just as much to lose as you, and would most likely maintain some discretion. Also, she probably wouldn't be expecting you to leave your wife and run away with her.
I do have to ask though, why are you looking for someone else? Are you having marital problems? Are you and your wife mismatched sexually?
For many of us here, this site provides us with many of the thrills and excitement that an affair would offer, without the risk. For others, it's become even more than that. Stick around, read some posts, get to know us better, and tell us what you think.

[JCcanU]

Alga , its not easy to just go out and find a women thats willing to have and afair with a married man, but then again it happens all the time. signs to look for are when you meet a women and she comes on strong likes to flirt and smiles when she sees you are good starts to ask her out , if she says no . thats ok theres more women then just one around. King of the hill Boomhoser took Bobby out for the day showed Bobby how he pics up women. thats how I do it , if one says no then I move on to the next it may take some time but trust your instinks sooner or later a women will say yes.

[Cotties]

damn maybe I should just stick with lying my ass offromance
attention to details about her
generous with your time
respect
honesty
that "connection" that is not easily defined, but you know it when you feel it

these are all pretty high on my list

[Willy S]

persistence and lies, lots of lies

[Cotties]

expensive cars work well on womenpersistence and lies, lots of lies

[Sabrina]

persistence and lies, lots of lies


LOL, Willy....you are funny!:kk

[pointofnoreturn]

persistence and lies, lots of lieshey hey hey...home grown tomatoes work also. if not dial POI-nto-fnor my turn..:55

[tallasian74]

Judging from this quote, you seem to be a very mature, thoughtful and open minded individual, amaretto. This is why I think that more younger guys should start off meeting older women and civilize themselves before taking their issues out on younger women and feeding into their youthful neurosis and insecurities; which then feeds back to the men they date...etc. I feel my own distance from my wife growing in me precisely because she becomes more and more controlling, neurotic and judgemental as our marriage wears on. Ironically, I think I would be more faithful to my wife if she had the same attitude you did....


Have her read my post. See what she thinks. (print it out as a word doc so she doesn't know the site source, if being here is a problem for you).

I truly wish more women did see it this way. We are programmed by our culture to put monogamy up on some pedastal, even if the people in the relationship are miserable. Or maybe they are somewhat happy, but just don't click physically. Or maybe they just want more!

It's kind of like the vow of celibacy that certain religions have their leaders take (hope I'm not stepping on any toes here). I do not, and never will, see anything admirable about denying one's self of the greatest human experience possible.

When sex and love go hand in hand, it's a beautiful thing. But they do not have to go hand in hand. For a person to take a vow of marriage, say at age 25, only to discover a few years down that road that something really important is missing.....
I don't see it as a noble virtue to settle for living without passion and intimacy. Who made these rules anyway?

One day, maybe I'll write a book. You can buy it for your wife, playfulmale69. Maybe I will change the world! :D

[cherokeered]

the Yellow Pages???


Belive it falls under......Mistresses R Us.........:D

[pointofnoreturn]

call me

[fire11614]

with a little bit of luck

[justlookingwa]

the Yellow Pages???


Belive it falls under......Mistresses R Us.........:D

whats the number;)

[justlookingwa]

call me

some ones go to have a number:D

[pointofnoreturn]

some ones go to have a number:DI am pretty sure the number is on the wall of the rest area at route 36 and 10 . fourth corner next to the bowling alley...:D

[OICurready4me]

MCat, a year ago I would have agreed with everything you said. Now, I would still agree with you about the quality time; I wouldn't want a married man to spend so much time with me that his marriage further deteriorated.

Regarding financial resources---definitely should be spent on his family. I don't care about material things or expensive dinners or anything else regarding his money.

But the last point you make---that's the one my thinking has really changed on. Some marriages are devoid of passion and intimacy. If one partner is simply not interested, why must the other simply do without? Is it really better to live one's life missing out on one of the greatest joys, the greatest highs, all in the name of "being faithful," "monogamy"? I'm not convinced that is the supreme path anymore. It doesn't mean a man loves his wife any less if he has a physical relationship with another woman----it just means he acknowledges the God-given desire for intimacy and doesn't want to live a lifetime (or extended time) without it.

I say all of this from my own perspective, as a woman who for MANY years had no interest in sex. Sure, I'd be willing to "just lay there" a couple times a month for hub, hoping he'd hurry up and get it over with. Numerous health issues caused me to have zero interest whatsoever.

Now that I am healthy and our sex life is fabulous, I feel terrible to know what I caused hub to miss out on for 10 years. It's very nice, in a way, that he never strayed, but part of me thinks he was crazy to live that way for so long. I no longer think he would have been disrespecting me if he had chosen to look elsewhere to have his needs met when I was unable to do so.


Thank you for writing this. Coming from a woman, it is always good to hear your perspective on the "monogomy" issue and the needs in a marriage. I feel the same way.... why should one of the parties suffer if the other isn't interested anymore or very little. My wife makes it seem like it is a chore to have sex, although she gives people the impression that I'm getting it all the time, by the way she will make remarks. For a while I didn't give a shit about the remarks, I played it up but when I constantly got home and was shot down, I finally said the hell with this and began to bust her chops in front of people and say what a fraud it was, hoping that embarassing her about it would do it since the opposite didn't work. Needless to say, that didn't work either.
I have told her on countless occassions that our sex life isn't cutting it and if she doesn't watch out, she is going to lose me to some hot, young, sexy woman. She laughs about it and calls me a beat up circus dog, kiddingly, but I tell her that if we were to split, there would be a long line of women that would be knocking on the door so she better step up to the plate. So what happens? Nothing, nada, zip, zero. It is sad.

[MCat]

I have told her on countless occassions that our sex life isn't cutting it and if she doesn't watch out, she is going to lose me to some hot, young, sexy woman. She laughs about it and calls me a beat up circus dog, kiddingly, but I tell her that if we were to split, there would be a long line of women that would be knocking on the door so she better step up to the plate. So what happens? Nothing, nada, zip, zero. It is sad.



Hope she realizes before its too late....
Ya don't look like a beat up circus dog...damn fool woman anyway.:55

[Cotties]

By hiring sexy young secretaries

[PlayfulMale69]

Have her read my post. See what she thinks. (print it out as a word doc so she doesn't know the site source, if being here is a problem for you).

I truly wish more women did see it this way. We are programmed by our culture to put monogamy up on some pedastal, even if the people in the relationship are miserable. Or maybe they are somewhat happy, but just don't click physically. Or maybe they just want more!

It's kind of like the vow of celibacy that certain religions have their leaders take (hope I'm not stepping on any toes here). I do not, and never will, see anything admirable about denying one's self of the greatest human experience possible.

When sex and love go hand in hand, it's a beautiful thing. But they do not have to go hand in hand. For a person to take a vow of marriage, say at age 25, only to discover a few years down that road that something really important is missing.....
I don't see it as a noble virtue to settle for living without passion and intimacy. Who made these rules anyway?

One day, maybe I'll write a book. You can buy it for your wife, playfulmale69. Maybe I will change the world! :D

Would you autograph the book for me? :kk

For me love and sex and feelings and passion are hard to separate.

[MCat]

By hiring sexy young secretaries

The old ones type better though...

[pointofnoreturn]

eye contact..

[Big O]

ask?

[pointofnoreturn]

ask?ask and ye shall receive.....:kk :sex

[Big O]

ask and ye shall receive.....:kk :sex

ummm... Point? want to take a walk??:wa:

[Amaretto]

Would you autograph the book for me? :kk

For me love and sex and feelings and passion are hard to separate.

I'd be delighted!

And while I agree, that it's hard to separate the emotions from the physical, a person doesn't have to be in love with someone to enjoy sex. And if a person truly loves his/her spouse, but simply isn't getting any/much physical satisfaction at home, engaging in sex outside of the marriage may not involve love at all. Ideally they go hand in hand, but many marriages are not ideal.

Just some random opinions from your local amateur sex therapist. ;)

[ldon]

The best way for a married man to get it on the side-Hell if I knew, I'de be there. Maybe post a want ad. "wanted, lady to return favors for late night dinners, shows, skiing, shopping, travel."

[One Song Hero]

I'd be delighted!

And while I agree, that it's hard to separate the emotions from the physical, a person doesn't have to be in love with someone to enjoy sex. And if a person truly loves his/her spouse, but simply isn't getting any/much physical satisfaction at home, engaging in sex outside of the marriage may not involve love at all. Ideally they go hand in hand, but many marriages are not ideal.

Just some random opinions from your local amateur sex therapist. ;)

Thank you, amaretto, you're definitely becoming my favorite sex therapist, hands down. :kk

[ldon]

Turn your avitar around and I'll give you all the eye contact you can handle. Or, I'll just sit here and stare at your butte for another hour or 2.:lf



eye contact..

[suzie147]

MCat, a year ago I would have agreed with everything you said. Now, I would still agree with you about the quality time; I wouldn't want a married man to spend so much time with me that his marriage further deteriorated.

Regarding financial resources---definitely should be spent on his family. I don't care about material things or expensive dinners or anything else regarding his money.

But the last point you make---that's the one my thinking has really changed on. Some marriages are devoid of passion and intimacy. If one partner is simply not interested, why must the other simply do without? Is it really better to live one's life missing out on one of the greatest joys, the greatest highs, all in the name of "being faithful," "monogamy"? I'm not convinced that is the supreme path anymore. It doesn't mean a man loves his wife any less if he has a physical relationship with another woman----it just means he acknowledges the God-given desire for intimacy and doesn't want to live a lifetime (or extended time) without it.

I say all of this from my own perspective, as a woman who for MANY years had no interest in sex. Sure, I'd be willing to "just lay there" a couple times a month for hub, hoping he'd hurry up and get it over with. Numerous health issues caused me to have zero interest whatsoever.

Now that I am healthy and our sex life is fabulous, I feel terrible to know what I caused hub to miss out on for 10 years. It's very nice, in a way, that he never strayed, but part of me thinks he was crazy to live that way for so long. I no longer think he would have been disrespecting me if he had chosen to look elsewhere to have his needs met when I was unable to do so.
I have some thoughts on this topic... now I am on my soapbox... :spbx:

Firstly, no one addresses the other side of the coin, and that is how do married women get lovers? The situation is really the same. If a married woman wants to have an affair, it is even more difficult if they have children and a house to run, not to mention the stigma that goes along with it - the 'Scarlet Letter' as one may suggest.

So - if a married man, with all of his constraints and responsibilities and a married woman with all of her constraints and responsibilities can steal a few moments from time to time to just 'get away from life' and be with a lover who gives them what they do not get anywhere else... what is wrong with that??

The laws of marriage were made when the life expectance was approximately age 44... now we are living to 84 - or longer... what does that tell you? An institution made to last approximately 20-25 years now must last more than 50.

Amaretto also has a really good point - if there is am marriage which is not fulfilling for both partners... people should be open and honest and admit what is there - or what is not there. Marriage would last longer if these things were out in the open, but the issue is that egos and jealousy come into play - because that is just human nature.

I also want to write a book - and my book would outline all of the reasons why marriage should be changed to be a 10 year renewable lease. It is, after all a legal binding contract - so is a lease. I think that I may start a petition and send it to our congress to pass a law to change the institution of marriage...

:rules:

[Penny]

I was out with my husband the other night in Boston and I couldnt believe the young women that were flirting with him. I mean he is no Robert Redford :D

[Sneaky]

[QUOTE=suzie147]
Firstly, no one addresses the other side of the coin, and that is how do married women get lovers? The situation is really the same. If a married woman wants to have an affair, it is even more difficult if they have children and a house to run, not to mention the stigma that goes along with it - the 'Scarlet Letter' as one may suggest.


I agree. It is also a little more dangerous for women and you have to be a lot more careful.

So - if a married man, with all of his constraints and responsibilities and a married woman with all of her constraints and responsibilities can steal a few moments from time to time to just 'get away from life' and be with a lover who gives them what they do not get anywhere else... what is wrong with that??
I agree! If neither is getting any good luvin' at home and thier spouse isn't even interested in it, and they never know, who looses here?

The laws of marriage were made when the life expectance was approximately age 44... now we are living to 84 - or longer... what does that tell you? An institution made to last approximately 20-25 years now must last more than 50.
I agree! It's not like your desire just shrinks up and dies.


I also want to write a book - and my book would outline all of the reasons why marriage should be changed to be a 10 year renewable lease. It is, after all a legal binding contract - so is a lease. I think that I may start a petition and send it to our congress to pass a law to change the institution of marriage...

I'd be happy to write the introduction for you Suzie.:55

[MCat]

[QUOTE]

I agree. It is also a little more dangerous for women and you have to be a lot more careful.

If you have young children and you get caught, the courts will snatch them away quicker than you can blink....at least in our part of the country. I work with people it happened to.


I agree! It's not like your desire just shrinks up and dies.

No, the desire does not shrink up and die - I totally agree with you...but if two people make a commitment to be together till death you do part, for better or worse...we should at least try to live up to that commitment.
The marriage vows should be changed right from the get go...there are too many people that know they are going to cheat before they even say I do.


I'd be happy to write the introduction for you Suzie.:55

If I would have acted on my desires 3 years ago instead of trying to find out what was wrong with my marriage I would be alone now, all alone. Sure I could have found someone to have sex with me...but would I have someone that loved me? Would it have been worth it to destroy my family? Would my kids hate me for breaking up their family? Don't get me wrong...I love sex just as much or maybe more than the rest of you...but sometimes there are other things that should be more important than sex.

Why the hell do I get involved in these conversations....
beat me now...I'm ready.

[mer]

go on buisness trips and go to the hotel bar! thats where i'll be ;)