Common Ground

[MIGHTY]

Do opposites really attract? My husband and I are about as opposite as they get. He is into science, I am religious. He loves gaming, I love chatting. He's outgoing, I'm shy....and the list goes on. What kind of effect has this had on some of your relationships? Do you have more or less in common than you would like to have with your spouse or partner? And, would you change your interests if it would bring you closer? :sc

[cherokeered]

My hubby and I have a lot in common...I think too much really...it makes it more like a friendship than a relationship...


Two areas we dont match....sex and money...not a good combination which is why this marriage is headed into the sunset....time to be moving on....
There are other things and unfortunately the cracks are showing...and growing...and I neither have the desire or ability to keep patching them or ignoring them....


Cherokee

[yaser]

Opposites attract each other at the beginning.. True but it ends one day...Or conflict is indispensible.

[Dmy]

Do opposites really attract? My husband and I are about as opposite as they get. He is into science, I am religious. He loves gaming, I love chatting. He's outgoing, I'm shy....and the list goes on. What kind of effect has this had on some of your relationships? Do you have more or less in common than you would like to have with your spouse or partner? And, would you change your interests if it would bring you closer? :sc


I have to say that the Mrs and I are opposite. Im usually more quiet, she's loud. Im patient, she's not; I like physical touch, she like quality time; She wants to argue, I want to say nothing (which doesnt help) and the list goes on.
In the 15 yrs we've been together, its made us work harder and keeping our married going! Which in turn has made us better together, we're strong together because my weaknesses are covered by her strengths, and visa vera.
I do feel alot of it has to do also with the way we view our marriage. Sure we have to work on things more since we are different...but I wouldnt trade her for anything! She is good to me and I believe she is the one for me! I'll add more to this as I think of them...Got to run..;) :kk

[Heaterman]

I am quiet and Penny likes to talk, I like to stay home and she likes to go out.

[altoids69]

Hubby and I have a lot in common, but we are quite opposite at times. I'm outgoing, where he's more likely to sit back and observe at a party. I like to go out (which doesn't happen often) where he'd rather stay home. I'm laid back and he's anal retentive. I've never nagged him in the 12 years we've been together and he nags me daily. I take things in stride where he typically shows a temper.

[Zpanther]

Well, Lady P and I are definitely opposites. She's into yoga and movies. I'm interested in sports and news. I hate to let problems go unaddressed and don't mind discussing or arguing.... she avoids problems and hates to argue. She likes her time alone. I like to be around people. I'm interested in current events. She's into history. She loves sex....... and I do too! We certainly have our times.... and it gets worse if we're apart for an extended period of time, but we always seem to work it out.

[Suz]

My husband and I have fun when we do stuff together, but when we're home, we're total opposites....I love being alone, doing my own thing...He follows me around with nonstop talking...he knows it drives me crazy, but does it anyway. He likes movies and music, I'm not much into that. I love history and news, he has no interest in any of it. I have to tell him about any major event. I'll never forget our vacation in September...after they didn't allow bottled water through security. He had the balls to argue with me in front of the security guard that there was no way I was right about taking water through....I let the guard give it to him good...it was so funny, I just stood and watched.....

[RedVixen]

Hmmmm, the husband & I used to have a lot in common. I would say we're opposites now. I'm the outgoing, lets have a party type, social creature and the hubby - well barely says two words, isn't outgoing at all. We are into different music, different tv shows, different things all together. Hell, I'm into chat boards and he couldn't be bothered :(

[OKMamaEeyore]

:sc I'd have to say that we have our shared interests and our differences. He is very horse oriented and I love animals in general (some exceptions). He is onto Westerns and I love Sci-fi. Overall, I think we balance out.:whee:

[massage mike]

common ground is long gone.

[hoss]

Momma and i are opposites....she is outgoing and loves to mingle in a crowd...i am shy and like to stand in the corner with my back against a wall...she is quiet and very smart ,while i am loud and somewhat stupid...

But we are also alot alike....we both have the same sense of humor ,like the same movies and music...we both put family first...

maybe having a being a bit opposite and a bit common is why we have been best friends for 17 years....

[MIGHTY]

Momma and i are opposites....she is outgoing and loves to mingle in a crowd...i am shy and like to stand in the corner with my back against a wall...she is quiet and very smart ,while i am loud and somewhat stupid...

But we are also alot alike....we both have the same sense of humor ,like the same movies and music...we both put family first...

maybe having a being a bit opposite and a bit common is why we have been best friends for 17 years....

Just the words I needed to keep the hope alive. So sweet and caring....thank you.:wa:

[hoss]

Just the words I needed to keep the hope alive. So sweet and caring....thank you.:wa:

your welcome...and what i said is true...Momma and I have been best friends since the day we met...we had endured more than most couples ,and come out on top...

and I love gaming as well ,Momma loves chatting ...but we both limit the time we spend doing that to have time together...

we have both gone through that ...where u are in the same room but wrapped up in what YOU are doing ....hours fly by and before u know it ,its time for bed...its a hard habit to break ..but one that we knew we had to do....

[Cotties]

what a good read this thread has been........my wife and I are opposites I guess. our biggest problem is the language factor. we have come along way but there often feels like there is no end to the road...I like to get things off my chest with her. she likes to go out drinking and get it off her chest with friends...in that order

[hoss]

what a good read this thread has been........my wife and I are opposites I guess. our biggest problem is the language factor. we have come along way but there often feels like there is no end to the road...I like to get things off my chest with her. she likes to go out drinking and get it off her chest with friends...in that order

Momma and i have a language problem too....she says she can't understand me when I'm screaming my head off at her ....:D

[Cotties]

I find it helps if I am pointing my finger in her face...:55 Momma and i have a language problem too....she says she can't understand me when I'm screaming my head off at her ....:D

[SaltyLime]

Hubs and I are alike where it counts the most.

Our time together, our time apart, there's a constant lesson to be learned about the other and ourselves. But we never fail to (eventually) fill each other's cups.

I'd say we're both introverts, but I have an impulsive, extrovert streak. I've got questions, he's got theories. I've got ideas, he's got suggestions. I've got energy, he's got direction.

All in all, we're opposites but do see eye-to-eye.
(after cutting each other's heads off and they happen to roll and stop facing the other)

[Frenchie]

Me and my wife are similar and at the same time mega different on some stff but we come together with are views on how things should be and that helps. I'm hard to get allong with, I like to have my own time, actually I need to have my own time or else I go insane and leave.

I think the essencial thing is to be understanding and patient of the other, no matter how different or similar, if your understanding and care about what your other half does it makes it way easier to deal with.

I dont know I still have allot to learn

[OICurready4me]

My wife and I have many things in common and are not compatible in many others which causes problems. I enjoy going out, hanging out with friends and family, while she enjoys staying at home mainly because she has no friends and her closest family is 3 hours away. My family is local which upsets her since we end up spending more time with them than hers. She just does not get it that a 20 or 30 minute trip to see my family is a whole lot easier than the day trip we must make to see hers. I need my alone time and she doesn't, which makes it difficult when I feel my alone time doesn't coordinate with her time she wants to spend with me. Both of our jobs are important to us. We both has issues that don't allow us to have kids. I love sex, she could care less. My life is ever evolving and revolves around whatever I feel is important at that time of my life. Her life revolves around me (I'm not being self-centered here, she can't make a decision or do anything without my approval, for whatever reason. That's how she feels due to her lack of confidence in her own decisions) We both love dogs, love to camp, love drinking wine (although she is not into reds like I am). I love to read, she has not desire. I love sports, she could really care less unless it is seeing the actual event live.
Thats all I can think of at the moment.

[hoss]

I find it helps if I am pointing my finger in her face...:55

ummn no...no...no.....NEVER EVER EVER....put any appendage near Mommas mouth when she's angry.....

[Jy]

Momma too?! My husband has an annoying habit of wagging his finger in my face when we're arguing.

Funny how despite the teeth marks, he hasn't learned...

ummn no...no...no.....NEVER EVER EVER....put any appendage near Mommas mouth when she's angry.....

[yaser]

Hubs and I are alike where it counts the most.

Our time together, our time apart, there's a constant lesson to be learned about the other and ourselves. But we never fail to (eventually) fill each other's cups.

I'd say we're both introverts, but I have an impulsive, extrovert streak. I've got questions, he's got theories. I've got ideas, he's got suggestions. I've got energy, he's got direction.

All in all, we're opposites but do see eye-to-eye.
(after cutting each other's heads off and they happen to roll and stop facing the other)
According to psychiatrist Orman partners try marry the one who has got the skills which he or she does not have...But I believe when he or she has got those skills,marriage starts to collapse...This usually begins in thirties in women at 30's but it statts in 50's...I wonder if the ladies are more intelligent in sex and in general..

[yaser]

Momma too?! My husband has an annoying habit of wagging his finger in my face when we're arguing.

Funny how despite the teeth marks, he hasn't learned...
Jazzy he may like to be bitten by you.. :lf

[yaser]

Momma and i have a language problem too....she says she can't understand me when I'm screaming my head off at her ....:D
Why are you screaming as if your ass was burning?

[tiger50]

get ya free sausage.. sausages, cum and get em..:)

[Cotties]

I think he gets angry when she won't take out his butt plugWhy are you screaming as if your ass was burning?

[Cotties]

I like to wave my finger around ..well point it at her...I don't want the dog thinking I'm angry at him...:) Momma too?! My husband has an annoying habit of wagging his finger in my face when we're arguing.

Funny how despite the teeth marks, he hasn't learned...

[yaser]

I think he gets angry when she won't take out his butt plug
Dogs do it...You may be right Cotties..Momma may want it to own and use the plug..

[happy2assistu]

Wife and I are totally as far opp as two people can get.We are also on shaky ground we dont evan sleep together any more only married 15 yrs.:)

[Cotties]

if it makes you feel any better. I've been witrh my wife for 7 years and we are in different rooms....it comes and goes for me Wife and I are totally as far opp as two people can get.We are also on shaky ground we dont evan sleep together any more only married 15 yrs.:)

[dartgirl]

When hubby and I were first married we complimented each others differences. As we have gotten older life has changed our likes and dislikes, feelings and opinions. We have gone in different directions and have very little in common anymore. I know I don't want to be the person I was anymore and he wants that person back. What to do, what to do????

[Willy S]

When hubby and I were first married we complimented each others differences. As we have gotten older life has changed our likes and dislikes, feelings and opinions. We have gone in different directions and have very little in common anymore. I know I don't want to be the person I was anymore and he wants that person back. What to do, what to do????

Wish I could tell you. Wish you could tell me.

[fatah]

I am new here but old enough to have see a lot. It often happens that one person is growing while the other is standing still and, as you say, wishes for the first one to stop because it makes them uncomfortable. Sometimes you can ask the person who is not growing to be patient and understanding. You are not asking them to participate but it would please you if they would honor your needs. If they refuse then you still must go on, otherwise you are not honoring yourself.

[Penny]

wisdom fatah :)

[fatah]

I once heard a quote that a spouse is the stick that God beats you with. Not literally I hope but it does make a bit of sense. If you are with an opposite type of person whom you enjoy but who makes you uncomfortable from time to time then you are going to have to figure out how to put up with who they are. You also have the possibility of growing yourself, finding parts of your self that you did not know were there. That is the beauty of a relationship. If it's easy then you are both stagnant.

[Cotties]

well said FatahI am new here but old enough to have see a lot. It often happens that one person is growing while the other is standing still and, as you say, wishes for the first one to stop because it makes them uncomfortable. Sometimes you can ask the person who is not growing to be patient and understanding. You are not asking them to participate but it would please you if they would honor your needs. If they refuse then you still must go on, otherwise you are not honoring yourself.

[fatah]

thanks. I hope no one minds that I get overly philosophical occasionally. It is how my mind seems to work. I like erotica but I like delving deep into purpose and concepts as well.

[Cotties]

it seems that a few of the older men here are more stimulated by thoughts than visual aspects of women.


Lots of women say older men are sexy... I just say they have had more time to be confused by women in their lives..in turn being left to think what went wrong or wondering how or why they ever got anything right:55
thanks. I hope no one minds that I get overly philosophical occasionally. It is how my mind seems to work. I like erotica but I like delving deep into purpose and concepts as well.

[fatah]

Hah, what you do not realize is that it will also happen to you. Your life happens in phases and it is up to you to enjoy each one. From what I hear women think older men are sexy because we listen.

[tiger50]

Hah, what you do not realize is that it will also happen to you. Your life happens in phases and it is up to you to enjoy each one. From what I hear women think older men are sexy because we listen.

woohoo good call.... ya just phased cotties..... now iz dick may fall orf.... :lmao

[Suz]

it seems that a few of the older men here are more stimulated by thoughts than visual aspects of women.


Lots of women say older men are sexy... I just say they have had more time to be confused by women in their lives..in turn being left to think what went wrong or wondering how or why they ever got anything right:55

I completely agree..................

[fatah]

The truth is that visual stimulation never stops, you just add things as you get older. I love looking at a well formed beautiful woman but if she opens her mouth and stupid comes out I immediately get turned off. I guess you get picky as you get older.

[Suz]

The truth is that visual stimulation never stops, you just add things as you get older. I love looking at a well formed beautiful woman but if she opens her mouth and stupid comes out I immediately get turned off. I guess you get picky as you get older.

A younger woman could say the same thing about an older man.......He's all mature, smooth talking, then opens his mouth with nothing but jealousy....that's a turn off.

[fatah]

Yup, in that I totally agree. I did not mean anyone here at all. What I have found here so far is very unlike other forums I have tried. Fun, open, honest, interesting and intelligent. Forum heaven.

[tiger50]

A younger woman could say the same thing about an older man.......He's all mature, smooth talking, then opens his mouth with nothing but jealousy....that's a turn off.

hmmmm :sc

[Suz]

hmmmm :sc

What?;)

[fatah]

A younger woman could say the same thing about an older man.......He's all mature, smooth talking, then opens his mouth with nothing but jealousy....that's a turn off.

I would suspect that an older man who opens his mouth and jealousy comes out was jealous and possessive for his whole life and just never learned. It's the same as an old person who is a bad driver. They never were a good driver but now that they are old people think old is the reason.

[Suz]

I would suspect that an older man who opens his mouth and jealousy comes out was jealous and possessive for his whole life and just never learned. It's the same as an old person who is a bad driver. They never were a good driver but now that they are old people think old is the reason.

Good point.....:sc

[OICurready4me]

Well, my wife and I have finally found some common ground to agree on. Hallway sex. She agrees to give it to and I must take it. What is it you ask? It is when we are walking down the hallway in opposite directions and when we cross paths, we yell "F&%* you" to one another. No need for a cigarette after so nicotine withdrawal is not an issue.

[Cotties]

will you run off with me and have wild sex ...and yes ...I will try to listen when you are talking about something that doesn't interest me after we are finished;) I completely agree..................

[Cotties]

of course I realize it will happen to me and have no objections to it;)


Now to squeeze your brain just a bit more...you theory might be correct[ we listen..but it should have read listen more]..this could be backed up by saying thats why older men tend to lose the plot a bit more..or is it because they tend to become more forgetful..:D ..

..I'm just having some fun Fatah...you should meet Rhumba and Fox....now I have all three of you to confuse me and let me know that in the next 20 or 30 years there is little I'll ever understand about women..

I enjoy your posts...please keep on posting
Hah, what you do not realize is that it will also happen to you. Your life happens in phases and it is up to you to enjoy each one. From what I hear women think older men are sexy because we listen.

[Zpanther]

I would suspect that an older man who opens his mouth and jealousy comes out was jealous and possessive for his whole life and just never learned. It's the same as an old person who is a bad driver. They never were a good driver but now that they are old people think old is the reason.

AH...... but then there are some of us 'old men' that were good drivers when we were younger.... and watta ya know! .... we're STILL good drivers.

[yaser]

AH...... but then there are some of us 'old men' that were good drivers when we were younger.... and watta ya know! .... we're STILL good drivers.
Are you good at driving your wife,Zp?I have never been..but she was good at driving me crazzy...

[Zpanther]

Are you good at driving your wife,Zp?I have never been..but she was good at driving me crazzy...

Really? hmmmmmm...... have to talk to Lady P about that horny Turk. ;)

[fatah]

AH...... but then there are some of us 'old men' that were good drivers when we were younger.... and watta ya know! .... we're STILL good drivers.

You are probably an even better driver now, I know I am. Not so sure about being a better lover but I am certainly more patient.

[dave42]

We are very compatable. But sex and money is an issue. I think that our sex drives are ok but I wish she had more energy in bed. She is really bad with money. I try to fix things but it just doesen't seem to get better.

[northernvam]

Dave .. from what I've heard that thing that couples disagree the most over is sex and money. I can understand the sex part, since sex is one of those things that you need two people to really agree on to participate in.

Money, I don't understand as much, since there are lots of ways to divide the money. I guess what I'm saying is that it's easier to agree on money issues than it is on sex. Or am I just dreaming?

[dave42]

Dave .. from what I've heard that thing that couples disagree the most over is sex and money. I can understand the sex part, since sex is one of those things that you need two people to really agree on to participate in.

Money, I don't understand as much, since there are lots of ways to divide the money. I guess what I'm saying is that it's easier to agree on money issues than it is on sex. Or am I just dreaming?Well I will have to say that her not paying her bills and having bad credit and me bailing her out does cause problems with our sex life. I guess it leads to deeper issues like integrity, trust and doing what you should do and not just living for the day. I find it a lot harder to be interested in having sex with her because of these issues. She only cares about herself in many ways.

[Jy]

My husband is more of an introvert and I'm an extrovert, but it seems to work. I seem to draw him out more while he keeps me down to earth. I can be pretty out there when I'm on my game.

We do have alot in common as far as our interests. We're both avid readers, love music and loathe television. We both love being outdoors, cycling, sports and just being active. When you work in the fitness industry, it sure helps to have a partner who can keep up with you. I once dated a couch potato and it was painfully boring. All he wanted to do was watch TV. That didn't last long.
Hubby and I share the same values, the same priorities, the same opinions about finances, education, politics and religion. I've found that's more important than anything else when it comes to a successful marriage.

[OICurready4me]

In some ways, opposites work well to provide the ying to the others yang and make the couple whole. In other ways, having a great deal of common interests makes things better because you can do the same things and both enjoy them. Watching the same types of movies, liking the same types of food, drink, and of course, the sexual capatibility. To me that is very important since two people with sex drives that are opposites will lead to a breakdown in a relationship. The more highly charged will look to fill that need elsewhere.

[fourisit]

I have to say that the Mrs and I are opposite. Im usually more quiet, she's loud. Im patient, she's not; I like physical touch, she like quality time; She wants to argue, I want to say nothing (which doesnt help) and the list goes on.
In the 15 yrs we've been together, its made us work harder and keeping our married going! Which in turn has made us better together, we're strong together because my weaknesses are covered by her strengths, and visa vera.
I do feel alot of it has to do also with the way we view our marriage. Sure we have to work on things more since we are different...but I wouldnt trade her for anything! She is good to me and I believe she is the one for me! I'll add more to this as I think of them...Got to run..;) :kk

Great post. My husband and I are the same. We didnt always have the same interests but my mom told us before we got married that learning to love what the other person loves is a big key to marriage. When her and my dad got married she loved softball and played every chance she could. My dad was a book person and didnt know beyond the basics so he did what he did best. He got a book on softball. He learned all the rules and how to play and played with her. Thats what marriages that last look like. I never would have got into Nascar if my husband didnt love it so much but I watch it with him and even have my own driver now becasue its something he loves. I am happy because I make him happy so he make me happy and its a wonderful circle.:lf

[Thumpintwin]

IMO, opposites attract, until the curiosity is satisfied. After that, if you don't have enough in common to share things, it's a dead relationship.

[Sneaky]

I think it's ok to be opposite in some ways.....but it's important to have shared values and agree on how you were treat your relationship and each other. Some differences draw you to each other, and you can learn from each other.

[TheTurtle]

It is important to have shared values in common; and it would be nice to have shared interests. However, I think some opposites in skills and personaliity are good for keeping the spark alive.

[stucknmarriage74(f)]

Of course we're more intelligent Yaser lol....I think opposies CAN attract just depends on situation, sometimes they create a balance in the relationship, and sometimes u end up at each others throats as is the case w/hubby and I

[Thumpintwin]

Of course we're more intelligent Yaser lol....I think opposies CAN attract just depends on situation, sometimes they create a balance in the relationship, and sometimes u end up at each others throats as is the case w/hubby and I

If you can get up enough energy to be angry/at each others throats, that's a good thing because it's a short trip down to the happy land :) Apathy on the other hand......


BTW.....Nice kitty.....mrrow!

[stevelooking]

Do opposites really attract? My husband and I are about as opposite as they get. He is into science, I am religious. He loves gaming, I love chatting. He's outgoing, I'm shy....and the list goes on. What kind of effect has this had on some of your relationships? Do you have more or less in common than you would like to have with your spouse or partner? And, would you change your interests if it would bring you closer? :sc


You need to want to change or it won't work.

[1hotrod]

I think it's ok to be opposite in some ways.....but it's important to have shared values and agree on how you were treat your relationship and each other. Some differences draw you to each other, and you can learn from each other.

I agree 100%

[Jabbuk]

I used to think that oppposites attract, and I guess they do, but only for a short time, after you have learned about all the stuff you didn't know, when you try to find things to do in common, places to go in life where you are both happy, those very differences create problems.

[niceones]

How true!I used to think that oppposites attract, and I guess they do, but only for a short time, after you have learned about all the stuff you didn't know, when you try to find things to do in common, places to go in life where you are both happy, those very differences create problems.

[Torin]

I think opposites do attract. But I also think it is the ties we have in common that keep the relationship alive... and the differences make it interesting.

Yasha and I are, and always have been, different in many ways. Religion, hobbies, points of view, etc.

The bbiggest difference between us is in speaking. Yasha is a TALKER! He will talk about anything for hours... and I tend to not say anything unless its really important. He is outgoing, I am shy. But both of us have found a middle ground that works great for us, personally.