Do MEN become more desirable to other women AFTER marriage?

[OccassionalFun]

Almost as if by cruel magic, after I got married it seemed that there were a lot more women interested in me than ever before. I found that they were smiling more, being more kind, flirting more and coming on a LOT more than ever before. It was like a cruel joke. I found myself always asking myself "why did so many hot women who would not pay me much attention before I got married suddenly start showing an interest after I got tied down in marriage?"

I wanted to know if some of you guys observed a similar thing when you got married?

I have three theories for this phenomena.

Theory I:
After getting married men get so much regular good sex that they are less horny and more calm around women and don't come on as rudely and as directly as they used to when single. This puts women at ease around you knowing you are well taken care of and not constantly trying to jump their bones. They see you less as a sex crazed male and start to see a new and interesting side to you that is more civilized, calm and content and other more positive attributes that they may have previously overlooked or not noticed.

Theory II:
Women who used to know you when single are competitively outraged that your wife "caught you" before they explored their own options. The marriage removes what they considered another so-so option for a mate that they could have picked up anytime they had wanted it. This is really an ego blow for them. As the field of available prospects or lovers diminish they feel threatened and compelled to compare their own desirability as superior to your wife's. It's done to pacify to themselves that they could have had you anytime they wanted; if they only cared to want you. So they set out to get you to cheat to stroke their egos when you cave into it. This submission to their wiles ratifies their own self image and their only intention is to prove they could have you to make themselves feel secure then to drop you when they satisfy their own insecurity.

Theory III:
Its a power & control thing. The other women know you are tied down and totally vulnerable and harmless to any manipulation or game they care to attempt. If they get you to cheat and do favors for them (monetary, token chores, favors etc.) they know you can't do anything but continue to treat them well or risk them exposing to your wife as a cheater. They get sex when they want it with none of the domestic burdens of putting up with a man around the house. Its just a control and power thing and they still get the double pleasure of sex with no strings attached as well as the ability to extort you at any time you renege on the arrangement and don't do what they want you to do.

Guys, I'd like to hear your observations.

OF

[LilWinky]

I've noticed women are definitely friendlier and open about themselves but just assumed that it was because of the ring on my finger. Kinda like how women are very open and chummy with gay men.

[joe43]

i really haven't been hit on by a married woman but flirted quite a bit with a woman going through a separation

[gseven1]

This is a very interesting question. Right after I was married it seemed like I was hit on quite a bit by single women, but not really by married women.

Then a year ago, after I started wearing a kilt every day, I've noticed that I get hit on quite a bit now, from both married and single women. I really hope that this isn't a shallow response based soley only clothing, but who ultimately knows. My guess is that of the three possible explanations, I'll take the easy way since I don't really believe in absolutes when dealing with people, but there will defintely be women that fall into all three categorys. :55

[OICurready4me]

I don't if it is the fact that I'm married or the fact that my fly was unzipped and ole salty was waving hello that got her attention

[MIGHTY]

Ok OF I'm not a man but would like to submit my opinion anyway.....

For me, married men are attractive because there is a maturity there, an understanding if you will, that women see and desire in a partner. Single men may not know what they are in for or are not willing to engage in such a partnership. A married man has already been down that road.....we can see that and also admire that. Also, when encountering a married friend or man you care about, we tend to want to show them what a wife can really be to a husband. We hear stories and want them to have the positive experience only we know we are able to give.......

[OccassionalFun]

Ok OF I'm not a man but would like to submit my opinion anyway.....

For me, married men are attractive because there is a maturity there, an understanding if you will, that women see and desire in a partner. Single men may not know what they are in for or are not willing to engage in such a partnership. A married man has already been down that road.....we can see that and also admire that. Also, when encountering a married friend or man you care about, we tend to want to show them what a wife can really be to a husband. We hear stories and want them to have the positive experience only we know we are able to give.......

Thanks Mighty! That is outstanding insight and it is welcome. I had not anticipated asking women why they might find married men more desirable than single. This is an eye opener for me and you know I think you have something here. As a man I really love talking with a married woman or sharing companionship because there is an automatic "comforting" and none of the vain games and head trips and game playing we often see with the very attractive single women. Very interesting perspective.

OF

[spare_change]

Almost as if by cruel magic, after I got married it seemed that there were a lot more women interested in me than ever before. I found that they were smiling more, being more kind, flirting more and coming on a LOT more than ever before. It was like a cruel joke. I found myself always asking myself "why did so many hot women who would not pay me much attention before I got married suddenly start showing an interest after I got tied down in marriage?"

I wanted to know if some of you guys observed a similar thing when you got married?

I have three theories for this phenomena.

Guys, I'd like to hear your observations.

OF


Guys? You're asking the guys? We have no freakin' clue -- we're still trying to figure out how a toilet seat works.

Ask the ladies -- they'll know.

[OccassionalFun]

Guys? You're asking the guys? We have no freakin' clue -- we're still trying to figure out how a toilet seat works.

Ask the ladies -- they'll know.

Hmm, good point. But its too late to change the poll context. Ladies please jump in with your comments anyway.

OF

[pointofnoreturn]

There are a lot of married men where I work. Hell Ithink they all are..Anyway we tease each other constantly. Flirting and touching....Just casue we know that we are safe with them I guess. If they are happy, and want to just flirt, and their wives are not doing that for them. It is free ,fun, and a little fulfilling....

[p.J]

Simple, choosing a quality partner is tricky, and choosing men that other women obviously find attractive enough to marry helps to narrow the choice, it stimulates interest because that married man is perceived as successful with women per se! Conclusion: They are a good catch!

[fsanford]

Perhaps it's simply the desire to have something forbidden.

[Big O]

Simple, choosing a quality partner is tricky, and choosing men that other women obviously find attractive enough to marry helps to narrow the choice, it stimulates interest because that married man is perceived as successful with women per se! Conclusion: They are a good catch!

I guess I should start wearing my wedding ring then...........:sc

[OccassionalFun]

I guess I should start wearing my wedding ring then...........:sc

I have never taken mine off ever since the moment she first put it on my finger when we married. And when I am out on my own at a bar or at lunch or dinner I make no attempt to hide mine whatsoever. I notice that a very few women will stare at it as if thinking "why are you here without her" but since I often entertain clients (men and women) it does not bother me at all. When I strike up a conversation I think the ring even helps put them at ease since they know I am not out to try and hit up on them to look for a serious relationship. In all my times out alone I have only had one woman get defensive about my ring and make some snide remark. I laughed at her and told her she was being awful presumptuous about my intentions toward her as well as presumptuous about her own qualifications to warrant anything more than a superficial interest. :D

On the other hand I have met a lot of woman who after getting comfortably engaged in conversation eventually get around to inquiring about the ring. To me that's actually a sure fire sign of interest to even ask. In these cases I simply tell them the truth and ask them if that is going to be a problem to continued conversation. Over 90% of the time they laugh and say "not at all" and many will admit to being married too or dating seriously and ask if that is going to be a problem. And ya know what, it almost never is because that is the perfect situation for both parties where both have the equal amount to lose. But other times a lot of women don't even care about the ring at all and none has ever asked me to take it off when I was with them in public or in bed (and I'd never sleep with a woman who did not respect my wife :D ).

OF

[jra12301]

bummer i can't control my self:sex

[Suz]

Ok OF I'm not a man but would like to submit my opinion anyway.....

For me, married men are attractive because there is a maturity there, an understanding if you will, that women see and desire in a partner. Single men may not know what they are in for or are not willing to engage in such a partnership. A married man has already been down that road.....we can see that and also admire that. Also, when encountering a married friend or man you care about, we tend to want to show them what a wife can really be to a husband. We hear stories and want them to have the positive experience only we know we are able to give.......

Girly, I couldn't have said it better myself! How are you? Miss ya:wa:

[MIGHTY]

Girly, I couldn't have said it better myself! How are you? Miss ya:wa:

How ya doin Suzy Q? Miss you too girl!!:hug:

[MCat]

Ok OF I'm not a man but would like to submit my opinion anyway.....

For me, married men are attractive because there is a maturity there, an understanding if you will, that women see and desire in a partner. Single men may not know what they are in for or are not willing to engage in such a partnership. A married man has already been down that road.....we can see that and also admire that. Also, when encountering a married friend or man you care about, we tend to want to show them what a wife can really be to a husband. We hear stories and want them to have the positive experience only we know we are able to give.......

Very good answer Mighty.....

[midwestcouple]

I must say that Mighty's perspective is a great answer to this. I'm a guy and I have noticed that I have gottn more looks and even asked some questions by women that I wouldn't expect to even talk to me.

[nsamale]

Guys? You're asking the guys? We have no freakin' clue -- we're still trying to figure out how a toilet seat works.

Ask the ladies -- they'll know.

Spare...u r such a cool guy...u just crack me up...true though

[nsamale]

There are a lot of married men where I work. Hell Ithink they all are..Anyway we tease each other constantly. Flirting and touching....Just casue we know that we are safe with them I guess. If they are happy, and want to just flirt, and their wives are not doing that for them. It is free ,fun, and a little fulfilling....

I Point will u do all that to me??? Im afraid to even tell a lady she looks "good" at work...its been drilled into our head about sexual harassment...sad...but since im not at work...u look very nice...:kk

[Cotties]

The answer is a big NO

for single women anyway

[nsamale]

Well for me, i havent seen it...but then i am very shy around women...dont really talk to them...

[tiger50]

Guys? You're asking the guys? We have no freakin' clue -- we're still trying to figure out how a toilet seat works.

Ask the ladies -- they'll know.

:lmao :lmao good call spare.....aww fark have agreed with u agin....:sc

[OICurready4me]

How ya doin Suzy Q? Miss you too girl!!:hug:

How about the three of us get together for some old fashioned FMF action? :55

[learman3]

Not really, I am still as unattracting to women as I always was.


Either that or I do not know the signs when a women is interested.

[MCat]

Not really, I am still as unattracting to women as I always was.


Either that or I do not know the signs when a women is interested.

I think you need a hug today....:knuddel:

[learman3]

I think you need a hug today....:knuddel:

Thank you for the hug my dear

[jellyjar]

Ok OF I'm not a man but would like to submit my opinion anyway.....

For me, married men are attractive because there is a maturity there, an understanding if you will, that women see and desire in a partner. Single men may not know what they are in for or are not willing to engage in such a partnership. A married man has already been down that road.....we can see that and also admire that. Also, when encountering a married friend or man you care about, we tend to want to show them what a wife can really be to a husband. We hear stories and want them to have the positive experience only we know we are able to give.......

I love this answer.............

[lovessexx]

thats what my wife keeps telling me? i have yet to see it. Hey, come to think of it, does that mean my wife is attracted to married men?

[lookin4more]

Yes, I've most definitley noticed this. My last 3 lovers were and still are friends of my wife. Now I'm eyeing a fourth!! :lf

[pointofnoreturn]

I Point will u do all that to me??? Im afraid to even tell a lady she looks "good" at work...its been drilled into our head about sexual harassment...sad...but since im not at work...u look very nice...:kkThank you very much. And in my work, if you cannot tease....You might as well be working somewhre else. Started working with these guys when I was 19. Was shy......Who knows where that girl went...Be yourself, and don't push. No need to make it sound dirty. Just say Hi!:kk

[Krystal]

On the other hand I have met a lot of woman who after getting comfortably engaged in conversation eventually get around to inquiring about the ring. To me that's actually a sure fire sign of interest to even ask. In these cases I simply tell them the truth and ask them if that is going to be a problem to continued conversation. Over 90% of the time they laugh and say "not at all" and many will admit to being married too or dating seriously and ask if that is going to be a problem. And ya know what, it almost never is because that is the perfect situation for both parties where both have the equal amount to lose. But other times a lot of women don't even care about the ring at all and none has ever asked me to take it off when I was with them in public or in bed (and I'd never sleep with a woman who did not respect my wife :D ).

OF

I figured I'd ressurect an old post....seems like we're getting stuck on the same old stuff.

After I got married, married guys became a lot hotter and more desirable than single guys. And it's most definitely because they have an equal amount to lose. A married guy understands when you can't call, don't have time, are starved for attention, and need to be home for dinner. Theres an understanding there that isn't there with single guys. Married men who wish to stay married, but are lacking in certain areas of their marriage....won't pressure you into anything you don't want. They're happy just to have the company, especially when you're both needing the physical and emotional aspects of your respective relationships. If I'm going to flirt....I look for the ring. If he flirts back, we understand each other.

[marriedwomanchaser]

I really can not say that I have seen much difference in women being interested in a man once he is married, Usually just a lot of flirting just to test the ground I guess.

[bri_guy_mich]

I've noticed that women are a whole lot more friendly, and easier to talk to when I'm wearing my ring. It could be flirting, but usually i'm a little bit dense when it comes to that. I think people are just being nice, and later my wife will tell me I was being hit on.

[manofiron]

I alwasy wondered this. it seems whenever I was attached, I was more looked at and talked to. Yet when I was single, it wa sa dry spell like no other.

[Denny422]

I never really noticed much difference. I had guys I worked with mention that a ring was a woman magnet in bars and such when we were on the road, but I never noticed the phenomenon.

Maybe I'm such a flirt to start with it didn't matter? I'm the "never met a strager" type, but I am also pretty careful not to come on too strong. I've also always been very comfortable around women.

One female friend told me once that the other married men felt somewhat cold, aloof, or otherwise untouchable or unapproachable to her but she never got that from me.

I can't imagine I'm too overtly friendly, because I don't get whacked across the back of my head by the wife when we're out in mixed company and I'm socializing with other females one on one.

[Constance]

I know what you are talking about. I am a women and it happened to me when I got married. I realized that I was not looking any more, so I did not pay them much attention. That's is what appeals to others. They want what they can't have.

:dl

[PowWhackIt]

I guess I should start wearing my wedding ring then...........:sc


I may try a kilt like GSeven1, although I don't think I could go "Military" :lmao - - but then, maybe not, I'm not sure what I'll attract.........

[OnceAKing]

Ok OF I'm not a man but would like to submit my opinion anyway.....

For me, married men are attractive because there is a maturity there, an understanding if you will, that women see and desire in a partner. Single men may not know what they are in for or are not willing to engage in such a partnership. A married man has already been down that road.....we can see that and also admire that. Also, when encountering a married friend or man you care about, we tend to want to show them what a wife can really be to a husband. We hear stories and want them to have the positive experience only we know we are able to give.......

Okay ya'll are really making me feel like I'm out of the loop:nopity...Almost...well a little, sorta makes me want to be dragging the chain around...again :sc Nooooo, I'm doin okay at the moment, thanks anyway. ;)

OAK

[OnceAKing]

They want what they can't have.

:dl



LOL Constance...ya think? Men?,,,tell me no.

OAK

[UltimateNaneki]

I seem to be very attracted to married men...I guess its has to do with this:
1. they cum
2. I have fun
3. we chat
4. we cum again
5. we chat once more
6. they go home
That somes it up, no arguing and no fighting. Its like a perfect marriage. :ok

[Tiglet]

Being a married women I think men with a ring are a much safer person to flirt with than any of the single guys. I don't know why but for some reason they tend to get the wrong idea. LOL

[dixiechiknga]

To know you can't have it makes it exciting

[athlon_man]

My answer is a reserved 'Yes'
I am not sure where you get your theories but they all sound somewhat 'Freudian'.

Here's my observations for why women might find married men more desirable:
- A woman might think that he must have something good (sex, money, etc.) beyond what she sees. This is especially true if the wife looks much better than husband.
- Married men become more confident when approaching other women because they have nothing to lose.
- Similarly, women become more open to married men believing that there won't be any romance (we are just friends) -- hmm, how many movies are based on this false premise?
- There is a tiny fraction of women who target married men because they are just evil homewreckers!

[OnceAKing]

Okay I'm buying a ring like............TODAY!

[bk_mojo]

I get the same amount of attention I did before I wore the ring ... The one big difference is that now I have absolutely zero confidence approaching women in public like I did when I was single... and that includes the woman who seems to be showing some interest. Somehow the fear of somehow I may be hitting on a friend of my wife's or friend of a friend and being found out in that way- is paralyzing.

[Up2Late]

Well I can honestly say that I have had more women attracted to me since I was married. The main problem was I just held up the old ring finger and shun them away.


I am going to go bang my head on the desk now.

[bk_mojo]

A friend of mine who got married waay before I did called it the kryptonite.

[Augustus]

No difference here, but then again i have never worn my ring.......

So i always appear to be single except for when i have my kids with me....

Once i tell them i am attached, they usually run for the hill like i have a non-curable disease.....


Augustus

[ted4956]

I found more women flirting with with me after I got married than before. I'm not sure why, maybe they like a challenge, or maybe they think if one women wants you than there may be more there than they first thought.

[Tiglet]

Well I can honestly say that I have had more women attracted to me since I was married. The main problem was I just held up the old ring finger and shun them away.


I am going to go bang my head on the desk now.

LMAO

[mark_66]

ring, what ring? are we supposed to be wearing rings? is this like a new law or something? lol

[Free Mustache Rides :p]

great post! I agree with all 3 theories, but perhaps a 4th theory...that it's just another one of God's cruel jokes he enjoys playing on us men who try to settle down :l

[mark_66]

I think it may have some truth - I think women like men who can commit

[Cotties]

hell no...it just not true....


so much harder asking a women if she wants to be number 2 in my life

and that's not a toilet reference

[ethans_so_bad]

except, of course - in your case....


hell no...it just not true....


so much harder asking a women if she wants to be number 2 in my life

and that's not a toilet reference

[mark_66]

your asking someone to be number 2? why would anyone ever pose such a statement, let nature take its course and it will sort its way out

[Trouble69]

My wife always jokes and says i can get more women wearing a wedding ring than if i don't. I'm gonna have to disagree.

A very good friend of mine recently split with his wife for like 6 weeks. Before the split he said there were a few girls who were showing him some interest. After the split, he could'nt get a girl to look at him. I'm sure it was'nt that bad but we laughed about it.

He's back home now. Poor sap. lol.

[mark_66]

the ring is not a magnet but then nether does it drive many women off

[sassy~pants]

I think that married men miss the chase of other women and love the excitement of possibly getting caught. What better rush than to think that your wife is gonna find out you never quit dating?

[Maddi]

Some women are attracted to married men. I don't know why. I guess it's a feeling of stealing something away from the other woman. But once they steal them, they are usually done with them. Just like on this site, I have seen a lot of relationships. These people probably talk on the phone constantly and know each other very well BUT until they live with one another and clean up after one another and just live day to day, they do not know what that person's spouse goes through. They only hear what the other person wants them to hear. So, my advice ladies is if you are talking to someone online and they tell you they are very unhappy in their relationship at home and they are only there because of the kids, please for the sake of God, do not fall for it. I have been there. Men online lie and so do women.

[pointofnoreturn]

not lookin for a husband. So yesssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

[Constance]

Some women are attracted to married men. I don't know why. I guess it's a feeling of stealing something away from the other woman. But once they steal them, they are usually done with them. Just like on this site, I have seen a lot of relationships. These people probably talk on the phone constantly and know each other very well BUT until they live with one another and clean up after one another and just live day to day, they do not know what that person's spouse goes through. They only hear what the other person wants them to hear. So, my advice ladies is if you are talking to someone online and they tell you they are very unhappy in their relationship at home and they are only there because of the kids, please for the sake of God, do not fall for it. I have been there. Men online lie and so do women.
You go girl. It is nice to be wise and not in the dark.

[Maddi]

I have been there in so many ways. :sc

You go girl. It is nice to be wise and not in the dark.

[PleasurePirate]

I'm waiting for the mob of women who prefer married man to arrive. Hurry up, dammit! The captain's not getting any younger.

[whtwmnlvr]

If we do , then I must be really ugly, cause i cant seem to attract any!!!

[TravelingMedical]

I've had far more sex with many women since I've been married. I think it's because that after finally getting married the pressure was off. I don't need to worry about whether or not I can get a woman.

[mer]

trying to get what you can't HAVE is 90% of the fun!!!

[Iwantutowantme]

I have encountered more 'possibilities' after I was married than before... its a bit frustrating. So I turned to flirting. I think its harmless and fun and keeps me from feeling I'm losing out on anything. ;)

[Sweetdreams069]

trying to get what you can't HAVE is 90% of the fun!!!

Meredith, I'm sorry you can't have me. ;)

[FizProf]

No...not more desirable...just harmless...
I refer you to Marilyn Monroe's character's comment in "the Seven Year Itch: about how she loved married men because it couldn't possible get serious...

[Vampireskiss]

well...lf it's true, l haven't experianced it...and it's not because of my spelling or lack of looking either. l heard one of my wife's friend's say to her that looking at our wedding picture's and seeing me now l have gotten much better looking ( the hair or lack of it now...the glasses etc.) But really...l haven't seen anything like that in my life at the moment...so no.

[MSU]

Not here. And I'm tired of the monthly stipend to my wife so she'll continue to say I'm attractive, too. :)

[irwin9956]

been married for 16 years now and to be honest i dont remember the difference lol

[YourAssMyHand]

Its human nature to covet what you can't have.

[mer]

well i'm glad i'm not the only one that thinks this way!! phhhewww!! love getting things...."i can't have"!!!

[Samgoody]

well i'm glad i'm not the only one that thinks this way!! phhhewww!! love getting things...."i can't have"!!!

Meredith, you ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY CAN NOT have me!!!

[nugnugwinkwink]

some guys will always have it and others will never