A Limerick for You

[spare_change]

I thought we had a thread of limericks (defined as "A light humorous, nonsensical, or bawdy verse of five anapestic lines usually with the rhyme scheme 'aabba'), but I have been unable to locate it.

Thus, a new thread -- give us your best shot.

[spare_change]

The nipples of Sarah Strong,
When excited, are twelve inches long.
This embarrassed her lover
Who was pained to discover
She expected no less of his dong.

[spare_change]

There once was a man named McGill,
Whose acts grew exceedingly ill,
He insisted on habits,
involving white rabbits,
and a bird with a flexible bill.

[spare_change]

There's a time machine inside your mind,
To this time and space not confined;
Return to the past,
Destinations are vast,
Or fast forward to see what you find.

[spare_change]

There was was a girl from Madras
Who had a beautiful ass,
Not round and pink,
As you might think,
But gray, long ears, and ate grass.

[Norfolkdave]

I thought we had a thread of limericks (defined as "A light humorous, nonsensical, or bawdy verse of five anapestic lines usually with the rhyme scheme 'aabba'), but I have been unable to locate it.

Thus, a new thread -- give us your best shot.

There was a young plumber from Lee
who was plumbing his girl with great glee,
she said, "Stop your plumbing,
I think someone's coming..."
Said the plumber, still plumbing, "It's me!"

[Norfolkdave]

And another
There was a young man from Pitlocherie,
making love to his girl in the rockery,
she said, "Look you've cum
all over my bum,
This isn't a shag, it's a mockery."

[spare_change]

There was a young plumber from Lee
who was plumbing his girl with great glee,
she said, "Stop your plumbing,
I think someone's coming..."
Said the plumber, still plumbing, "It's me!"

Very cool !!! I like it !!!

[Norfolkdave]

SAnd one more
There was a young girl called Molly,
who fancied a bit in a quarry.
She laid on her back
and opened her crack,
And the bastard backed in with a lorry.

[Norfolkdave]

I thought we had a thread of limericks (defined as "A light humorous, nonsensical, or bawdy verse of five anapestic lines usually with the rhyme scheme 'aabba'), but I have been unable to locate it.

Thus, a new thread -- give us your best shot.

A good idea some humor;)

[Norfolkdave]

And finally

There was a young lassie from Morton,
who had one long tit and one short'un,
on top of all that
a great hairy twat,
and a fart like a six fifty Norton.

[Wet Beaver]

Very cool !!! I like it !!!

you were able to read that?? it hurts my eyes just looking at it.... Dave please fix the color....

[spare_change]

Artie Aardvark was spousally bound,
'Til his snoot tried to root the wrong mound.
As he lay on the gurney,
Said wife to attorney,
"Serves him right for aardvarking around."

[Norfolkdave]

you were able to read that?? it hurts my eyes just looking at it.... Dave please fix the color....

Sorry I dont know how too, just hold the mouse as though you were going to copy and paste it I do appologise

[spare_change]

There was a young Lady called tart
Who felt she needed a fart
She stepped outside
And to her surprise
Blew over a horse and cart

[Norfolkdave]

And yet another

There was a young actress from Crewe,
Who remarked as the vicar withdrew,
The Bishop was quicker
and thicker and slicker,
And two inches longer than you.

[spare_change]

To be real was Pinocchio's desire,
Of this dream he never did tire;
But he knew he was wood,
When he pulled on his pud;
And the poor little bugger caught fire

[Norfolkdave]

To be real was Pinocchio's desire,
Of this dream he never did tire;
But he knew he was wood,
When he pulled on his pud;
And the poor little bugger caught fire

Thats a goodun:lmao

[Norfolkdave]

There Once was a Man called Reg

Who Went with a Girl in a Hedge

Along came his wife

With a big Carving Knife

And cut off his meat and two veg

[tiger50]

And finally

There was a young lassie from Morton,
who had one long tit and one short'un,
on top of all that
a great hairy twat,
and a fart like a six fifty Norton.

gotta love that one dave

There once was a man from Horsham
Who took of his balls to warsh em
His mum said jack if u dont put em back
I'll jump on the bastards and squarsh em

[Norfolkdave]

There was a notorius seaman
Who with the ladies was a demon
In peace or in war
At sea or on the shore
Was liberal and free with his semen.

[sweetgapeach]

There was a man from Ghent
Who had a penis so long it bent
It was so much trouble
That he kept it double
And instead of coming he went.

[sweetgapeach]

there once was a man from china
who wasn't a very good climber
he slipped on a rock
and broke his cock
and now he's got a vagina

[Norfolkdave]

A pooftah who lived in Khartoum
Took a Lesbian up to his room
And they argued all night
Over who had the right
To do what and with an to whom

[KissThis]

Humpty Dumpty sat on the bed
Little Bo Peep was giving him head
It wasnt long she began to weep
She knew from the taste hed been doing her sheep

[kissiemybuttie]

there once was a man from china
who wasn't a very good climber
he slipped on a rock
and broke his cock
and now he's got a vagina





I love it...I love it....I love it!!!!!

[KissThis]

Tiger was trembelin and quivering with fear
Knowing that Wet Beaver was after his rear
She wanted to torch the hair off his butt
and maybe both of his nuts.

But tiger keeps running with WB in pursuite
and i know she will win, because shes so cute
And i know that in the end
Tiger will just have to give in.:lmao :lmao

[Norfolkdave]

The breasts of a barmaid of Crale
Were tattooed with the price of brown ale
And on her behind
for the sake of the blind
Was the same information in Braille.

[tiger50]

Tiger was trembelin and quivering with fear
Knowing that Wet Beaver was after his rear
She wanted to torch the hair off his butt
and maybe both of his nuts.

But tiger keeps running with WB in pursuite
and i know she will win, because shes so cute
And i know that in the end
Tiger will just have to give in.:lmao :lmao

WTF :sc :nu :nu :nu
dave, defend ya old mate ere... she'll nevva take me alive..

[Norfolkdave]

WTF :sc :nu :nu :nu
dave, defend ya old mate ere... she'll nevva take me alive..

ODIN........ODIN............ODIN to the rescue:lmao

[tiger50]

ODIN........ODIN............ODIN to the rescue:lmao
we'll fight her on tha beaches.. in tha trenches , we will give in..

ummm never give in.. fark.. hic... lol:whee:

[Norfolkdave]

we'll fight her on tha beaches.. in tha trenches , we will give in..

ummm never give in.. fark.. hic... lol:whee:

We will never Surrender..............Onwards and lets get em, we will enslave them in oDINs pit:lmao

[KissThis]

whispers to WB... were just gonna have to catch ODIN and keep him preoccupies while you go after Tigers ass.:lmao

[tiger50]

whispers to WB... were just gonna have to catch ODIN and keep him preoccupies while you go after Tigers ass.:lmao

no no.. just go fa odin... :D

[Norfolkdave]

no no.. just go fa odin... :D

Hey Im on your side remember:nu

[Norfolkdave]

whispers to WB... were just gonna have to catch ODIN and keep him preoccupies while you go after Tigers ass.:lmao

"Run rabbit run run"
"Bang bang bang" went Odins Gun
Run rabbit run run run:lmao

[KissThis]

Hey Im on your side remember:nu

see their .... tiger's turning you over to us..and yer still gonna protect him??:lmao

[Norfolkdave]

see their .... tiger's turning you over to us..and yer still gonna protect him??:lmao

I know I know but I,ll still protect him hes an OZZIE, a ponnigranit a !!!!!!!!!:lmao

[DrippingIndiscretion]

There once was a man named Sprockett
Who walked with his hand in his pocket
He was able to hide
What he was doing inside
Till he shot off like a Fourth of July rocket.

[Norfolkdave]

There once was a woman from New Zealand,
Who had a peculiar feelin',
She laid on her back,
And tickled her crack,
And pissed all over the ceilin' !
:lmao

[DrippingIndiscretion]

There once was a woman from Blight
Her speed was much faster than light
I can now say
I fucked her today
And she came sometime last night.l

[Norfolkdave]

There once was a young man who...,
Laid an extra ordinary long poo,
He let out a scream,
Can this be a dream,
That'll never flush down the loo ?

[DrippingIndiscretion]

Said a woman with open delight,
My pubic hair's perfectly white.
I admit there's a glare,
But the fellows don't care
They locate it more quickly at night.

[Ancient_Briton]

Remembered from school days and updated to decimal

There was a young man from Australia
Who painted his arse as a dahlia
ten pence a smell
Was all very well
But a pound a lick was a failure

[Cotties]

I'd like to see you two try and fight your way out of a wet paper bag..we'll fight her on tha beaches.. in tha trenches , we will give in..

ummm never give in.. fark.. hic... lol:whee:

[Norfolkdave]

I'd like to see you two try and fight your way out of a wet paper bag..

What us! Easy, come closer and we,ll show you, heh heh heh :D

[Cotties]

There was an old man from Nantucket
His cock was so long he could suck it
He said with a grin
As he wiped off his chin
If my ear was a cunt I could fuck it!

[tiger50]

there once was a young man from horsham
who took off iz balls ta worsh em
his mum said jack if u dont put em back
i'll jump on the bastards an squorshem

[Cotties]

There once was a drunk ladyboy who I thought said she was from Nantuckit
She had a butt so cute I said can I fuck it
So she pulled out her clit
It was nearly as big as a brick
But when I bent her over, out popped a nuggit..

[i]well if that doesn't show my creativity than I don't know what does..
thats also dedicted to all the americans who come to thailand searching for a street bargin

[Norfolkdave]

A spiritual healer named Lee
Ducked into the alley to pee
He pissed in the eye
Of this blind homeless guy
Who screamed "Holy shit! I can see!"

[spare_change]

There was a young fellow named Simon
Who tried to discover a hymen,
But he found every girl
Had relinquished her pearl
In exchange for a solitaire diamond!

[spare_change]

There once was a man named Sprockett
Who walked with his hand in his pocket
He was able to hide
What he was doing inside
Till he shot off like a Fourth of July rocket.