View Full Version : Does it have to be this difficult?
OICurready4me
09-15-2007, 08:42 AM
I know many of the members here have special someones in their lives from this site or maybe even another site, that they have deep feelings for. I think many of you have also met in person.
As many of you know, Might and I finally met this week and spent most of 5 days and 4 nights together. It was absolutely incredible. She is the love of my life and we are now as close as two people can be. It was magical.
My questions for all you members are....
How do you deal with the aftermath of the meeting?
What do you do to keep from getting emotionally downtrodden when you reminisce about the meeting?
How do you deal with the day to day knowing that your next meeting may not be for maybe as long as 6 months?
Kissie
09-15-2007, 08:50 AM
I dont know how to answer this question...as a Army wife I do it so many times...it is hard aint it??????
OICurready4me
09-15-2007, 09:39 AM
I dont know how to answer this question...as a Army wife I do it so many times...it is hard aint it??????
I don't know how you do it, Kissie. For you to have to do this over and over my tear your insides to shreds. What I am going through is nothing compared to what you have had to go through and I appreciate the kind thoughts. Thanks. Lets hang in there, we have no choice, huh?
duanehofner
09-15-2007, 09:39 AM
You did well my friend
OICurready4me
09-15-2007, 09:40 AM
You did well my friend
Thanks, buddy.
Pink4You
09-15-2007, 09:42 AM
I am glad you two had a wonderful meeting. Sometimes, people hit it off the first few days and then ready to get back to their real life within 3 to 5 days. You can chat, e-mail, phone calls and just know that you two shared something special. You will always have that even if you don't have her.
Damn pleased for you both!
I promise you OIC the longing will ease... you have this site, your phone, your PC, and before you know it the 6mths will have whipped by. :)
Kissie
09-15-2007, 10:05 AM
Now that my eyes are open and I am awake...I am really happy that things went well for you two!!!! As an old pro the only advise I can really offer is to talk as often as you can...and make the talks as fun as you can!!!! And the time will hopefully just zip on by....
Outta
09-15-2007, 10:07 AM
Damn pleased for you both!
I promise you OIC the longing will ease... you have this site, your phone, your PC, and before you know it the 6mths will have whipped by. :)
Well, sorry to say, OIC, my good friend, I make no such promise. It's tough to know that the special someone is miles away and the old life is staring you in the face.
It's tough to make decisions under such pressure, so don't. The pain is part of the pleasure, so allow it to make you a stronger person. You know what they say, "whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger".
RedVixen
09-15-2007, 10:34 AM
I'm so happy for you and Mighty:) Time...it's so worth the wait when you truly love someone and want to be with each other. Hang in there...
cookies & Cream
09-15-2007, 10:58 AM
It sounds like you two have really found something special... try not to let it slip away...
UltimateNaneki
09-15-2007, 11:39 AM
I know many of the members here have special someones in their lives from this site or maybe even another site, that they have deep feelings for. I think many of you have also met in person.
My questions for all you members are....
How do you deal with the aftermath of the meeting?
What do you do to keep from getting emotionally downtrodden when you reminisce about the meeting?
How do you deal with the day to day knowing that your next meeting may not be for maybe as long as 6 months?
Well OIC,
I understand exactly what you feeling. I talk with him, I'm always on Yahoo with him. Just to hear his voice calms me down. We are trying to make plans to meet again, but life keeps getting involved. Time is the one thing we have. He and I know that we will be together again, it will just take time and PATIENCE.
I know many of the members here have special someones in their lives from this site or maybe even another site, that they have deep feelings for. I think many of you have also met in person.
As many of you know, Might and I finally met this week and spent most of 5 days and 4 nights together. It was absolutely incredible. She is the love of my life and we are now as close as two people can be. It was magical.
My questions for all you members are....
How do you deal with the aftermath of the meeting?
What do you do to keep from getting emotionally downtrodden when you reminisce about the meeting?
How do you deal with the day to day knowing that your next meeting may not be for maybe as long as 6 months?
A passage from a great book you've read.
Lyrics from a great song that suddenly pops in your head.
Scene from a great movie you look forward to seeing every time you play it.
Savor the moment. It will always be with you.:knuddel:
peaches
09-18-2007, 08:34 PM
:55 I'm so glad the two of you finally met. And I know it's hard as hell now, but at least you have them 5days and 4nights to hang on to, more than most people have. But you take day by day and before you know it that time will be here again. But you have what most of us want, the time you two shared, for most of us it will never happen. This was a chance in a life time and something you both dared to take a chance in, what is more beautiful than that? Most of us envy the time you shared and I hope that oppertunity comes again your way very soon.:55 :55 Way to go OIC and Mighty you both deserve to find the happiness you both search for, the rest of us could be so luck as the two of you's.:hug: :hug:
cherokeered
09-18-2007, 09:24 PM
Wish I could tell you hun....but I have never experienced what you have.....but at least you know there will be a next time....some don't even know if or when there will be a first time....so you just keep the next time in front of you and the last time close to you.....
cmt21lem
09-23-2007, 11:31 PM
good ander from the army wife
Sensual Woman
09-25-2007, 09:11 PM
Well OIC, you are very lucky indeed. I almost had that - the key word being Almost. I got cut off at the knees instead. Treasure what you have had - don't give up hope. Try to stay in touch, hang onto the memories you have made and hope for more. Maybe your wish will come true - mine not only didn't come true, it turned into a nightmare. You will never forget something so beautiful. :)
OICurready4me
09-30-2007, 10:46 PM
Thank you all for your well wishes and sage advice, it all means a great deal to us. As difficult as it is, we are making due with what we have and trying not to torture ourselves any more than we need to, as tough as that is not to do. All I know is that the memories we shared I think about everyday, the pictures I took and we talk daily. It isn't the same but it is the hand we are dealt so we get by. But damnit to hell, I miss feeling her touch, her soft skin, the warmth of her body against mine. I miss.....HER! :kk
mackin' it
09-30-2007, 10:56 PM
I met my soulmate, or who I think is/was my soulmate. The timing was wrong and we had to let go but those times that we were together ... when you spend time with someone truly special and right for you ... the moments last a life time and never fade.
I am happy that the two of you found each other and were able to spend that time together.
1hotmommy
11-14-2007, 12:01 PM
I haven't actually met anyone from this site in person. I think it would be too complicated, which is why I will stick with talking to people here.
scoobertina
11-14-2007, 12:27 PM
I know many of the members here have special someones in their lives from this site or maybe even another site, that they have deep feelings for. I think many of you have also met in person.
As many of you know, Might and I finally met this week and spent most of 5 days and 4 nights together. It was absolutely incredible. She is the love of my life and we are now as close as two people can be. It was magical.
My questions for all you members are....
How do you deal with the aftermath of the meeting? remember, remember, remember.... and smile....
What do you do to keep from getting emotionally downtrodden when you reminisce about the meeting? smile, knowing that he is thinking about it too... and I try to keep busy.... I talk to him and it helps..
How do you deal with the day to day knowing that your next meeting may not be for maybe as long as 6 months? well, I am not even sure I can meet him again... but if I can it will be well worth the wait - for both of us...
scoobertina
11-14-2007, 12:28 PM
and while I am happy for you and Mighty, not all of us have found what you two have...
wolfman
11-14-2007, 12:47 PM
and while I am happy for you and Mighty, not all of us have found what you two have...
Scoobs. I'm right here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can make you happy. So happy you would s...
Wolfy:kk
wolfman
11-14-2007, 12:50 PM
My questions for all you members are....
How do you deal with the aftermath of the meeting? remember, remember, remember.... and smile....
What do you do to keep from getting emotionally downtrodden when you reminisce about the meeting? smile, knowing that he is thinking about it too... and I try to keep busy.... I talk to him and it helps..
How do you deal with the day to day knowing that your next meeting may not be for maybe as long as 6 months? well, I am not even sure I can meet him again... but if I can it will be well worth the wait - for both of us...
From a man's perspective...Well, knots in your stomach if you really like or love her. Constant thinking about her, constant wondering if she is thinking about me, Talking does help but pushing too hard can push him or her away.
If it's 6 months and you feel something real and you know he does too, it's worth the wait. Problem is it can preoccupy your mind constantly.
MIGHTY
11-14-2007, 12:54 PM
and while I am happy for you and Mighty, not all of us have found what you two have...
You know we appreciate your opinions on this. We know that not all members have found what we have. I am soo very grateful for what we have found because, never in a million years, did I anticipate this. We weren't looking, we weren't searching one another out, we were friends who realized that we had a lot in common and developed a bond that has grown tremendously in time. This has not been easy for either of us. Just ask him. I have put him through the ringer more than a few times. It is a very difficult road, knowing where happiness lies and not being able to attain it. We do not go back and forth to rub our relationship in other's faces. We are very expressive in how we feel and just so happen to take advantage of our limited play time here.
Sometimes one is not ready to greet love when it finds them. There is a reason why he and I must remain apart, as painful as that may be. There is also a reason why some have not found what we have. Some are not looking. Some are not ready. Some are not willing. Some are perfectly content with their lives the way they are, and I commend each and every one of you for the way you choose to live your lives. I believe I have been blessed. I believe I am finally being rewarded for the suffering I have endured in my life and my marriage. But, it is still difficult and will remain an everyday challenge for as long as we decide to continue on this unexpected journey.
wolfman
11-14-2007, 12:59 PM
You know we appreciate your opinions on this. We know that not all members have found what we have. I am soo very grateful for what we have found because, never in a million years, did I anticipate this. We weren't looking, we weren't searching one another out, we were friends who realized that we had a lot in common and developed a bond that has grown tremendously in time. This has not been easy for either of us. Just ask him. I have put him through the ringer more than a few times. It is a very difficult road, knowing where happiness lies and not being able to attain it. We do not go back and forth to rub our relationship in other's faces. We are very expressive in how we feel and just so happen to take advantage of our limited play time here.
Sometimes one is not ready to greet love when it finds them. There is a reason why he and I must remain apart, as painful as that may be. There is also a reason why some have not found what we have. Some are not looking. Some are not ready. Some are not willing. Some are perfectly content with their lives the way they are, and I commend each and every one of you for the way you choose to live your lives. I believe I have been blessed. I believe I am finally being rewarded for the suffering I have endured in my life and my marriage. But, it is still difficult and will remain an everyday challenge for as long as we decide to continue on this unexpected journey.
I know it's hard, but I envy you. Noone ever said love was supposed to be easy. It takes works on both parts. But the work is worth it. Good luck.
ksue7274
11-14-2007, 04:28 PM
Good luck to you both and to anyone out there in the same situation. Stay strong.
danny115
11-14-2007, 08:37 PM
Seems to me the most difficult part is actually finding that "special someone"
after that everything is easy by comparison.
RedVixen
11-14-2007, 08:40 PM
Seems to me the most difficult part is actually finding that "special someone"
after that everything is easy by comparison.
That is so true my friend. Although it's been said many times, that good things come to those who wait. It's also been said that you find love when you are least looking.
Sensual Woman
11-14-2007, 08:47 PM
Seems to me the most difficult part is actually finding that "special someone"
after that everything is easy by comparison.
I have to disagree with you on this. Yes, finding that special someone is difficult. But sometimes everything after that is very hard. When you love someone, not just are infatuated with them, but truly love them with every fiber of your being, life and circumstances may keep you apart...Some of us have not even have a memory to treasure like others here do because circumstances did not allow us to fully experience that.
MIGHTY
11-14-2007, 09:06 PM
I have to add to this as well.....whoever thinks that this is easy by comparison has got to be out of their mind, or has not yet had the experience. Yes, we have seen one another, and we spend every waking moment aching for the touch, the kiss, the longing looks, and kind words spoken directly to our hearts. This is one of the most difficult things I have ever had to endure. The pain can be unrelenting. Some days are more bearable than others. Sometimes I miss him in a sad way. Sometimes it is the torturous "I have to have him" way. Some days are easier with the daily distractions of life. But, when you know what happiness is....when you know that this is what you have been searching for, longing for, hoping for, yet cannot obtain it, it can be one of the most heart wrenching experiences. I would not give a single moment I have had with him back.....but, I have to wonder, if I knew it was going to be this hard, hurt this much, would I have taken the chance.....today I say yes, but yesterday may have been a different answer.........just one person's opinion folks......take it for what it's worth.
Sensual Woman
11-14-2007, 09:07 PM
You know we appreciate your opinions on this. We know that not all members have found what we have. I am soo very grateful for what we have found because, never in a million years, did I anticipate this. We weren't looking, we weren't searching one another out, we were friends who realized that we had a lot in common and developed a bond that has grown tremendously in time. This has not been easy for either of us. Just ask him. I have put him through the ringer more than a few times. It is a very difficult road, knowing where happiness lies and not being able to attain it. We do not go back and forth to rub our relationship in other's faces. We are very expressive in how we feel and just so happen to take advantage of our limited play time here.
Sometimes one is not ready to greet love when it finds them. There is a reason why he and I must remain apart, as painful as that may be. There is also a reason why some have not found what we have. Some are not looking. Some are not ready. Some are not willing. Some are perfectly content with their lives the way they are, and I commend each and every one of you for the way you choose to live your lives. I believe I have been blessed. I believe I am finally being rewarded for the suffering I have endured in my life and my marriage. But, it is still difficult and will remain an everyday challenge for as long as we decide to continue on this unexpected journey.
Well spoken - a beautiful post from a beautiful woman. You are truly blessed, and a blessing to those who know you.
Sensual Woman
11-14-2007, 09:13 PM
I have to add to this as well.....whoever thinks that this is easy by comparison has got to be out of their mind, or has not yet had the experience. Yes, we have seen one another, and we spend every waking moment aching for the touch, the kiss, the longing looks, and kind words spoken directly to our hearts. This is one of the most difficult things I have ever had to endure. The pain can be unrelenting. Some days are more bearable than others. Sometimes I miss him in a sad way. Sometimes it is the torturous "I have to have him" way. Some days are easier with the daily distractions of life. But, when you know what happiness is....when you know that this is what you have been searching for, longing for, hoping for, yet cannot obtain it, it can be one of the most heart wrenching experiences. I would not give a single moment I have had with him back.....but, I have to wonder, if I knew it was going to be this hard, hurt this much, would I have taken the chance.....today I say yes, but yesterday may have been a different answer.........just one person's opinion folks......take it for what it's worth.
You have been describing exactly how I have been feeling for the past sseveral months. Although I don't know if he is feeling the same. And that makes it harder
MIGHTY
11-14-2007, 09:18 PM
You have been describing exactly how I have been feeling for the past sseveral months. Although I don't know if he is feeling the same. And that makes it harder
I don't have any sisters...that I'm aware of, but girl, we are soo much alike it's plain scary! :hug:...from one sister who knows, to another......
danny115
11-15-2007, 08:28 PM
Although it's been said many times, that good things come to those who wait. It's also been said that you find love when you are least looking.
Hmmmmm....well I've been waiting for 20 years.....and I have spent almost all that time looking.....so stop looking and it'll happen? Does that mean I have to unsubscribe from this website?....:cry:
Bama River Man
11-16-2007, 01:06 PM
One day at a time. . .I can't handle thinking about it being soooo far away.
kaycee727(m)
04-03-2008, 11:58 PM
Just wondering. I do not know either of you except from reading posts. So I am wondering what has happened to that feeling you both had. Is it still as strong and emotional as described or has the luster worn off. I once fell for another and when things were hot and heavy they stayed that way for years. It was so hard being apart at first but needs change and people change. We both were very sad for a long time. We talk about that feeling many times since and wish we could bottle it up and keep it for another time in our lives.
trausersnake
04-04-2008, 08:42 AM
Well, i cannot comment on the meeting aspect of your question, becasue I have not had the fortunes of love rain down on me as u have. It is wonderful that u have found someone who u have a connection with. Life is sometimes imperfect and as far as dealing with the emotional drag of not being together - half empty or half full? I think your you pretty lucky to have found someone you feel that way about. Bravo.
I know many of the members here have special someones in their lives from this site or maybe even another site, that they have deep feelings for. I think many of you have also met in person.
As many of you know, Might and I finally met this week and spent most of 5 days and 4 nights together. It was absolutely incredible. She is the love of my life and we are now as close as two people can be. It was magical.
My questions for all you members are....
How do you deal with the aftermath of the meeting?
What do you do to keep from getting emotionally downtrodden when you reminisce about the meeting?
How do you deal with the day to day knowing that your next meeting may not be for maybe as long as 6 months?
I know many of the members here have special someones in their lives from this site or maybe even another site, that they have deep feelings for. I think many of you have also met in person.
As many of you know, Might and I finally met this week and spent most of 5 days and 4 nights together. It was absolutely incredible. She is the love of my life and we are now as close as two people can be. It was magical.
My questions for all you members are....
How do you deal with the aftermath of the meeting?
What do you do to keep from getting emotionally downtrodden when you reminisce about the meeting?
How do you deal with the day to day knowing that your next meeting may not be for maybe as long as 6 months?
I'm glad your meeting was nice...as you probably have noticed Karebear and I have been MIA since we met here we still come read but anyway we've fallen in love and plan to have such a meeting in a few weeks...I think it will strengthen us put the IRL in the relationship its the only part we do not have..she is a beautiful woman and I have no doubt parting afterward is going to be hard but I think we will be stronger for it...
laineycali
04-08-2008, 05:16 AM
Hmmmmm....well I've been waiting for 20 years.....and I have spent almost all that time looking.....so stop looking and it'll happen? Does that mean I have to unsubscribe from this website?....:cry:
Say it aint so!!!?????.. we havnt event visited yet!!
Sensual Woman
04-08-2008, 09:57 AM
It is hard even if you haven't met yet. I love him so much that is makes it so hard to be apart. But we both are at places in our lives where we need to wait and be patient. The sound of his voices soothes me and lifts my spirits and fills me with love. An im from him makes my heart leap. Waiting is hard, but he is worth waiting for. Duane loves me, supports me, and values me more than anyone ever has. He is patient and understanding when I get afraid. He is my rock. He is the voice of reason when I am irrational. He teaches me more about unconditional love than anyone ever has. I am eternally grateful for him.
woodsman8
04-08-2008, 01:07 PM
My pap always told me that something worth anything will not be easy, it is like a garden, you have to cultivate and care for it or it will not mature and do anyone any good.
Sensual Woman
04-08-2008, 01:39 PM
My pap always told me that something worth anything will not be easy, it is like a garden, you have to cultivate and care for it or it will not mature and do anyone any good.
Your pop was smart:ok
The waiting can still be hard...
Karebear3003
04-08-2008, 04:45 PM
The waiting is very hard especially when you've had the worst day you can remember and all you want is for him to be there, but there's 900 miles separating you. Holding on to the fact that the day will come gives me the strength to keep going, knowing that one day soon, I will be in his arms for the first time.
woodsman8
04-09-2008, 12:54 AM
The waiting can still be hard...
true the waiting can be hard but think of what you will have in the end. The wait will be worth it.
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