I find it difficult to talk to my wife.

[p.a]

I find it difficult to talk to my wife. I find myself trying to explain everything no matter how simple. There's always these 50 questions I have to answer. This makes me uncomfortable and not wanting to hold discussions about anything with her.

Does your spouse make it hard for you to talk to them?:spbx:

[Sandyboots]

I find myself getting frustrated with mine. She always has to have the last word on everything...and she wants to talk at the most inconvenient times. But has nothign when it's just us and we can sit down and talk about anything.

[GeekMaster]

I find it difficult to talk to my wife...
...Does your spouse make it hard for you to talk to them?:spbx:


Only on days that end in y.

[Lacey]

Sometime he makes me feel stupid,like I don't have a point to what I'm saying.He gets mad easily so I use to watch what I said,but he didn't so I figured I would say want I needed,but I still catch myself backing off,just don't want to deal with it.
Also,we can have a conversation and it might be important or not and he will swear we never talked about it,so goes to show he doesn't listen!

[Domus]

No. I enjoy talking to her and I'm always open for a good conversation.

The ability to listen first is the most important component in having a good conversation.

First of all, if you do all the talking, your conversation turns into a confessional pretty quickly.

Instead, what you have to do is listen, and ask questions. If you listen to someone else, then they are more likely to listen to you.
Being open to new ideas, and being open to understanding someone else's point of view, will provide you with the most satisfying conversations possible.

[cherokeered]

Hubby and I don't talk much...we have short conversations...but he knows everything and of course the world is full of idiots....

[RedVixen]

Hubby and I don't talk much...we have short conversations...but he knows everything and of course the world is full of idiots....

OMG Cher...I just about pissed my pants reading this post :lmao

Are you sure you aren't married to my husband?

[WandaRing]

I am sorry for your frustrations with your wife; I understand how hard it can be to talk to someone. If you really want to fix this there are some questions you need to ask yourself to find the answers----- such as:

What kind of things are you having trouble talking about, is it always the same issues just put into different words?

Has this always been the way the two of you have communicated with each other, if not, what has changed?

Are you going through something yourself, (mentally, emotionally, physically, work-wise) and are just too tired to deal with your wife? Is she going through something herself?


go slow be patient and breathe:kk

[MIGHTY]

Let's see.....he's easy to have a conversation with.....unless.......

Sometimes I'm the one that's difficult to talk to because I refuse to listen to his mountain of lies and bullshit.......hard to concentrate when he's creating a pile of shit in front of me......

[Sensual Woman]

My husband and I don't talk much, and it's only superficial stuff. Never about anything important - or important to me. He prefers TV to me. He prefers watching tv to sex with me. Our anniversary is coming up, and other than a card, he'll spent it sitting on the sofa watching TV. :(

[scoobertina]

I tried talking to my husband for 20 years... he would hear me but he wouldn't listen... I tried over and over again but to no avail.. he just wouldn't listen to what I said... that is what ended our relationship, I hope you seek counseling..

[cheerymissy_34]

we dont talk at all unless its about my daughter...and than we end up fighting about that.if i dont agree with everything he says..then im wrong
hes the type ,with me anyway, that if i said the sky was blue he would argue that no it is purple..so its just easier not to talk at all

[My_Secrets_Kept]

As you can see, you're definitelly not alone here. My husband isn't much of a conversationalist to begin with, refuses to talk about most things of importance. Would always find myself doing the talking and him staring right through me not really listening. One sided conversations are useless, much easier to talk to yourself, atleast you know then that somebody is listening! Tried for a long time to get him to have some semblance of a conversation, but for the most part it never really happens. So now I keep mum quite a bit, hold it in or talk to close friends about whatever it is, which helps to keep what sanity I have left where he's concerned.

[Operator Bob]

Interesting postings from everyone...thank you for sharing that. Yes, I have a hard time talking with my wife. To me, it seems that I mention something that happened at work and then she goes on and on about how she would handle it or what she thought about it. I just get quiet and let her go. Just last week, I told her that it is her response to what I say is why I get quiet. LOL...she went on for 5 minutes talking straight on that. I looked at her and said...see my point?

[MCat]

Interesting postings from everyone...thank you for sharing that. Yes, I have a hard time talking with my wife. To me, it seems that I mention something that happened at work and then she goes on and on about how she would handle it or what she thought about it. I just get quiet and let her go. Just last week, I told her that it is her response to what I say is why I get quiet. LOL...she went on for 5 minutes talking straight on that. I looked at her and said...see my point?

I read an article once that suggested a person should nicely tell their spouse that sometimes they just want to vent....they don't want feedback all the time...just someone to listen to them with a sympathetic ear.

She may think that you are asking her opinion.

[Operator Bob]

I read an article once that suggested a person should nicely tell their spouse that sometimes they just want to vent....they don't want feedback all the time...just someone to listen to them with a sympathetic ear.

She may think that you are asking her opinion.

Good point...I will have to try that. I have done that before, but it is usually not in the right tone of voice. I get frustrated and it shows.

[stretcharms]

I read an article once that suggested a person should nicely tell their spouse that sometimes they just want to vent....they don't want feedback all the time...just someone to listen to them with a sympathetic ear.

She may think that you are asking her opinion.

I used to think if my wife shared a problem, she wanted me to fix it. I realized, she just wanted me to listen....she takes care of her problems quite well.

I get most frustrated when she either cuts me off in mid sentence (so very frequent), or walks away while I am talking.......totally oblivious that I was in the middle of something. After many times discussing that pattern, I just kind of gave up.........it is what it is.....not the end of the world, but not a great mutual communication, either.

[MCat]

I used to think if my wife shared a problem, she wanted me to fix it. I realized, she just wanted me to listen....she takes care of her problems quite well.

I get most frustrated when she either cuts me off in mid sentence (so very frequent), or walks away while I am talking.......totally oblivious that I was in the middle of something. After many times discussing that pattern, I just kind of gave up.........it is what it is.....not the end of the world, but not a great mutual communication, either.

I find that my husband and I are preoccupied with other things....I will be talking about something and all of a sudden he's gone. I think he doesn't want to listen...when in fact...he thought I was finished....sigh

[yaser]

My husband and I don't talk much, and it's only superficial stuff. Never about anything important - or important to me. He prefers TV to me. He prefers watching tv to sex with me. Our anniversary is coming up, and other than a card, he'll spent it sitting on the sofa watching TV. :(
Why don't we come together and talk about the matters of the students?

[hoss]

I find it difficult to talk to my wife. I find myself trying to explain everything no matter how simple. There's always these 50 questions I have to answer. This makes me uncomfortable and not wanting to hold discussions about anything with her.

Does your spouse make it hard for you to talk to them?:spbx:

I'm sorry u have that problem ,communication is so important in a marriage ...

i guess i cant relate ,Momma and i lay on the bed and talk about everything ....we havent alwyas been this way ,for years we went without saying much to each other ...someone showed us thats its important to talk everyday ...damn i miss her ....

[yaser]

As you can see, you're definitelly not alone here. My husband isn't much of a conversationalist to begin with, refuses to talk about most things of importance. Would always find myself doing the talking and him staring right through me not really listening. One sided conversations are useless, much easier to talk to yourself, atleast you know then that somebody is listening! Tried for a long time to get him to have some semblance of a conversation, but for the most part it never really happens. So now I keep mum quite a bit, hold it in or talk to close friends about whatever it is, which helps to keep what sanity I have left where he's concerned.
His learning style is visual hun. They would like to see..Why don't you drwa picture to him?

[yaser]

I'm sorry u have that problem ,communication is so important in a marriage ...

i guess i cant relate ,Momma and i lay on the bed and talk about everything ....we havent alwyas been this way ,for years we went without saying much to each other ...someone showed us thats its important to talk everyday ...damn i miss her ....
Hoss where is she now?With Traxter?

[Momma]

LOL....no hun....Hoss was talking about a very close friend of ours that passed away awhile ago...an extremely sharp and intuitive person...she is missed by all who knew her


Hoss where is she now?With Traxter?

[YLS]

I too find it difficult to talk with my wife. I'm lucking if I'm able to even comlete an entire thought before she interrupts me and starts bitching about what I haven't even said yet. If she's going to be upset with something I say, fine. But at least let me say it first! I often find it much easier just to avoid certain topics conversations, which is unfortunate and not at all indicative of a healthy relationship.

[Sensual Woman]

Scoobertina, I have suggested that, but he refuses to go. He has also threatened to take the children away if I leave. I couldn't live without them.

[yaser]

LOL....no hun....Hoss was talking about a very close friend of ours that passed away awhile ago...an extremely sharp and intuitive person...she is missed by all who knew her
Yes,sorry hun.I am sure you have all missed her.

[Sensual Woman]

Why don't we come together and talk about the mattera about the students?

Sounds like a plan:wa:

[Cotties]

I find it easy to talk to my wife and often a language barrier makes it hard but we were friends well before we got married so cummunicating is easy....I find it difficult to talk to my wife. I find myself trying to explain everything no matter how simple. There's always these 50 questions I have to answer. This makes me uncomfortable and not wanting to hold discussions about anything with her.

Does your spouse make it hard for you to talk to them?:spbx:

[yaser]

Sounds like a plan:wa:
My mind is always full of plans on you hun..Secret or open.. :lf

[Sensual Woman]

[QUOTE=yaser]My mind is always full of plans on you hun..Secret or open.. :lf[/QUOTe

As long as the thoughts are always good...:)

[yaser]

[QUOTE=yaser]My mind is always full of plans on you hun..Secret or open.. :lf[/QUOTe

As long as the thoughts are always good...:)
What do you mean good plans?Can I plan to dece ;) it you?

[Sensual Woman]

[QUOTE=Sensual Woman]
What do you mean good plans?Can I plan to dece ;) it you?

Plan to seduce me? Absolutely!:)

[yaser]

[QUOTE=yaser]

Plan to seduce me? Absolutely!:)
Not only seduce you but also to make sex with you hun. ;)

[One Song Hero]

I'm sorry u have that problem ,communication is so important in a marriage ...

i guess i cant relate ,Momma and i lay on the bed and talk about everything ....we havent alwyas been this way ,for years we went without saying much to each other ...someone showed us thats its important to talk everyday ...damn i miss her ....
That's odd, Hoss, I find it very difficult talking to your lady, LOL, maybe it has something to do with that baseball bat you're wielding... :D

Yeeaaaaaaahhhhhhhh.............


Hoss, by the way, I really enjoyed another post of yours (from the What Do You Like To Drink With Your Dinner thread):

I like to drink in Mommas beauty with my dinner

Very clever, classy, and easy to believe, Hoss. Nice work.

[Sensual Woman]

[QUOTE=Sensual Woman]
Not only seduce you but also to make sex with you hun. ;)

That's the whole idea, isn't it?:55

[p.a]

I too find it difficult to talk with my wife. I'm lucking if I'm able to even comlete an entire thought before she interrupts me and starts bitching about what I haven't even said yet. If she's going to be upset with something I say, fine. But at least let me say it first! I often find it much easier just to avoid certain topics conversations, which is unfortunate and not at all indicative of a healthy relationship.

DITTO: SAME ISSUE

[northernvam]

I find it difficult to talk to my wife. I find myself trying to explain everything no matter how simple. There's always these 50 questions I have to answer. This makes me uncomfortable and not wanting to hold discussions about anything with her.

Does your spouse make it hard for you to talk to them?:spbx:

Are you saying that your wife doesn't understand what you are saying, or are you saying that she doesn't accept your explainations.

My experience has been that when dealing with topics that are difficult to talk about, the conversation begins to focus on "how I say" things rather than the content of the message. What has happened over time is that there are subject that we just don't discuss becuase we can't talk about it without hitting a psychological defense mechanism or two.

I'm not sure how you get past that .. although I do know that shutting down communication is not the best path to take in a marriage. It leads to an unsatisfying married life, then to chat boards, ... and then ...

... do I have to go on?

[cmt21lem]

women like penny and SW don't come alone very often, could talk to them in the early morning hours

[thickitalian]

Hang out with us here Lacey...keep the aggravation behind you and enjoy yourself and the cool ppl in this room. Vent when you need to...there's some fine opinionated ppl out there...but look at this as a new family for you and have fun with it...

Welcome...:55


Sometime he makes me feel stupid,like I don't have a point to what I'm saying.He gets mad easily so I use to watch what I said,but he didn't so I figured I would say want I needed,but I still catch myself backing off,just don't want to deal with it.
Also,we can have a conversation and it might be important or not and he will swear we never talked about it,so goes to show he doesn't listen!

[YLS]

DITTO: SAME ISSUE

Sorry to hear that! It's too bad it has to be that way, eh? It nice to be able to get some of that frustration out on this site though!

[duanehofner]

I find it difficult to talk to my wife. I find myself trying to explain everything no matter how simple. There's always these 50 questions I have to answer. This makes me uncomfortable and not wanting to hold discussions about anything with her.

Does your spouse make it hard for you to talk to them?:spbx:

Drives me mad when she answers with "I suppose". And also when she makes a statment of fact, "We need milk at grocery" then thinks it needs an explaination. We need milk? No prob, we'll get some. Don't explain it for a half hour

[OICurready4me]

I find it difficult to talk to my wife. I find myself trying to explain everything no matter how simple. There's always these 50 questions I have to answer. This makes me uncomfortable and not wanting to hold discussions about anything with her.

Does your spouse make it hard for you to talk to them?:spbx:


I've gotten to the point that I talk to her very little about anything important. She doesn't listen anyway so I don't bother. She hears only part of what I tell her, misconstrues that then I have to explain it to her again and again, due to her lack of listening to the explanation that SHE wanted! It gets so damn frustrating that I don't bother anymore. Unless it is listening to her talk about her work or the dogs, she really can't carry on a decent conversation anyway. The funny part is that she will say "you don't tell me anything anymore" and I then point out all the times I did and she forgot, said she didn't care or had this blank stare like I was talking to a wall, so I tell her things on a "need to know" basis. And most things I feel she doesn't "need to know" so I don't bother.

[1hotmommy]

It's hard to talk to my husband about certain things, which is really frustrating because when we first started dating, we could talk for 4-5 hours about anything and everything. I guess things just change with time.

[razorsedge]

there are some issues in life that I do have trouble talking to my wife about, mainly when it involves something I want.

[wolfman]

there are some issues in life that I do have trouble talking to my wife about, mainly when it involves something I want.
Same here

[p.a]

What makes it difficult to talk to my wife is timing. I know I've said this a lot but she is menopausal. I never know when she's in the middle of a mood swing until I say something to her. I usually do the cooking so a simple question like " what would you like for dinner "? can turn into a nasty reply or an indifferent look and no reply at all. Sometimes she starts the conversation in a good mood but if I open my mouth she snaps me up. She did that once and I scared myself because in a moment I was in her face with my fist balled up and tears in my eye's. That was in January after we got home from my dads funeral. She takes Zoloft to help with her mood swings but they make her nauseated so she does not take them everyday. We sleep in separate rooms
and avoid each other. Me working nights and she days helps a lot. My daughter seems to have a calming affect but there have been times when she's made my daughter cry.
But thats very rare and has not happen in awhile. I sometimes think that it's me that sets her off so I keep my distance. Funny thing is we both have cell phones and thats how we communicate even though she's in the next room. Our conversations are usually " Yeah, Uh HUH, OK, BYE ". It's tough but I deal with it. Probably just as tough for her as well.

[p.a]

Oh and I've tried to do the counseling thing but it don't work unless both parties show up.

[hank69]

I dont talk much.....dont like the whipins i get.....


Aww.... not really ..I think we talk together fairly well....well maybe...

[ksue7274]

I think when it comes to important issues, he is easy and very helpful to talk to.

[MiSt09]

My husband and I don't really talk at all lately. He's wrapped up in his own life, showing very little interest in me anymore. I'm sick of behaving like his lap dog, I'm sick of one-sided conversation, getting only a grunt or blank stare from him, or a one or two word answer on a good day! So I have quit making any effort also. Tension and awkward silence, very uncomfortable.

[WandaRing]

I think when it gets to a point of shutting off your feelings or/and avoiding talking to your spouse you begin to lose yourself, and then it's harder to save the relationship. I dont know everyone's story, I just know that I couldn't live like that..it must be very difficult and painful...at some point you have to ask yourself if all this pain is worth it... :hug:

[Eagleton]

My husband and I don't really talk at all lately. He's wrapped up in his own life, showing very little interest in me anymore. I'm sick of behaving like his lap dog, I'm sick of one-sided conversation, getting only a grunt or blank stare from him, or a one or two word answer on a good day! So I have quit making any effort also. Tension and awkward silence, very uncomfortable.


Stef---felt the same way until I started coming here and chating with some good friends I've made...I find it easier to communicate with my wife now...because I have said to my friends here what I have wanted to say to her...now I say these things to her...she was a little shocked at first..but she is coming around...try it ,,,I think you will like it..I am originally from the midwest..and people don't talk much there..keep it inside...so just let it out babe..

[WandaRing]

Just a thought but has anyone tried putting their feelings down on paper and giving it to their spouse to read...write the letter, then when you are leaving to go out the door hand it to them or put it somewhere where they are bond to see it...that way they cant say I didn't know or I don't remember talking about this or that...

[MSU]

Funny you say that, Annie, my wife wrote me a letter about five weeks ago, and I replied with one the next day, with some very pointed issues and questions, and she's never replied.

I'm really confused, though I do know after being with her so long, if she's "settled" an issue in her mind, it's no longer an issue, period. ???

[Eagleton]

Just a thought but has anyone tried putting their feelings down on paper and giving it to their spouse to read...write the letter, then when you are leaving to go out the door hand it to them or put it somewhere where they are bond to see it...that way they cant say I didn't know or I don't remember talking about this or that...


Brilliant Annie...:wy

[MiSt09]

Just a thought but has anyone tried putting their feelings down on paper and giving it to their spouse to read...write the letter, then when you are leaving to go out the door hand it to them or put it somewhere where they are bond to see it...that way they cant say I didn't know or I don't remember talking about this or that...

That's a good idea Annie. I haven't tried that. Not sure if it would work, I've tried talking to him a few times, probably won't try again, so maybe a letter should be my next plan of attack. lol

[WandaRing]

Funny you say that, Annie, my wife wrote me a letter about five weeks ago, and I replied with one the next day, with some very pointed issues and questions, and she's never replied.

I'm really confused, though I do know after being with her so long, if she's "settled" an issue in her mind, it's no longer an issue, period. ???
Rewrite the letter, photocopy it several times then send one copy through the mail....registered...so she'll be curious and open it, and if that goes unanswered mail one or leave one every day with a foot note saying I am waiting for a reply...even if it pisses her off...

there are two people in the relationship, one person does not get to walk away from a problem and ignore their partners question, especially after they brought up a topic, it takes two to solve it.

[WandaRing]

That's a good idea Annie. I haven't tried that. Not sure if it would work, I've tried talking to him a few times, probably won't try again, so maybe a letter should be my next plan of attack. lol
If you love him and want the relationship/marriage to work, yell, scream, shout, flash him, or tell him you're pregnant with triplets, anything to get his attention...or like eagleton suggested, read some more posts to get ideals of what others have been through and done to make their relationship work...remember you have a voice and choices to make and most of all, the right to be happy and respected.

[azbeau]

omg yes. there are lots of times when I question myself on whether to approach my wife on a subject or not. With her just giving birth to our son, it makes her seem even more chaotic to me. However, when I do muster up the courage and start to discuss it with her, I find out that I'm just a big idiot and didn't have anything to worry about in the first place.

[bigwazoo]

Sorry Stef, I know how it is, the tension and awkward silence is a killer.

[tallguy32]

Sometimes I find it easier to write it down and hand it to her. This way I get everything out without being interupted and then I've got it all off of my chest.

[gatorgal]

I cant talk to my spouse at all.. Either I get interrupted by something he thinks is more important than what I have to say, the TV is more important or he just simply doesnt care...Then if and when I do get his attention, he never remembers what I said.. So I give up.... I dont even try anymore... I have someone else that is special to me that I talk to alot.. but he has so much going on right now, I dont want to burden him with my life's problems.. and thats ok... i truly understand.. so mostly, I just keep all feeling and most emotions to myself..

[Krystal]

Just a thought but has anyone tried putting their feelings down on paper and giving it to their spouse to read...write the letter, then when you are leaving to go out the door hand it to them or put it somewhere where they are bond to see it...that way they cant say I didn't know or I don't remember talking about this or that...


I have tried this. Not a "letter" per se, but I sent my husband an email....a few months back....regarding couples that stop having sex, for whatever reason...and how they eventually grow apart. I wrote a note saying "We truly need to talk about this....I'm ready when you are."

I waited for him to mention it.

This thread just reminded me that he's never mentioned it.

[UltimateNaneki]

Men usually find it difficult to talk to their wives cause they are not listening, they are trying to find a solution.
Guys, we usually have the solution in our hands, we just need to talk, all you have to do is listen. I know its difficult to listen to us sometimes but it really makes us feel special when you do. If we have a question that needs solving....we would tell you about it. Otherwise, please just listen. :)

[vicarious]

Yes. Men and women communicate so differently. Remember, women communicate to establish an emotional connection. Men communicate to convey information. If she's asking 50 questions, it's because she's digging for an emotional response.

<pause while you note how women communicate with each other>

Problem is, women are wanting an emotional response from men in typical conversations. I'll give you an example:

"honey, do you like that couch?"

What she's looking for is...how does that couch make you feel. Problem is, men don't have emotional attachments to things, places, situations. So, they keep digging for emotional responses that aren't there.

Just my experience.

[Bandit]

Yes. Men and women communicate so differently. Remember, women communicate to establish an emotional connection. Men communicate to convey information. If she's asking 50 questions, it's because she's digging for an emotional response.

<pause while you note how women communicate with each other>

Problem is, women are wanting an emotional response from men in typical conversations. I'll give you an example:

"honey, do you like that couch?"

What she's looking for is...how does that couch make you feel. Problem is, men don't have emotional attachments to things, places, situations. So, they keep digging for emotional responses that aren't there.

Just my experience.

Well Said. :wy

[vicarious]

Men usually find it difficult to talk to their wives cause they are not listening, they are trying to find a solution.
Guys, we usually have the solution in our hands, we just need to talk, all you have to do is listen. I know its difficult to listen to us sometimes but it really makes us feel special when you do. If we have a question that needs solving....we would tell you about it. Otherwise, please just listen. :)

You nailed one of men's problems in communication. We are problem solvers. If a woman comes to us with a problem or just venting (bad day, friend issues, etc.), men want to fix the problem because that's how we are. But, most men don't realize that all they need to do is listen. Women don't want their problems solved for them, they just want someone to vent to.

Take note guys...just listen!

[Bandit]

What a coincidence, I've been having trouble talking with your wife also :)

[MIGHTY]

Just a thought but has anyone tried putting their feelings down on paper and giving it to their spouse to read...write the letter, then when you are leaving to go out the door hand it to them or put it somewhere where they are bond to see it...that way they cant say I didn't know or I don't remember talking about this or that...

When my husband and I first began dating I had two jobs and worked almost 80 hours a week. We would communicate through letters, more often than not. I have a stack of letters, as does he, that we have kept as momentos of how things were when they were good. Once in a while, when we could not bring ourselves to have a rational conversation, we would resort to writing letters again to communicate how we were feeling at the time. It worked well, and we would read some of them over and over as a reminder of how much in love we once were.

During the months that OIC and I were apart, I also wrote to him in a book.....a diary of sorts. Some of what I wrote were thoughts I could not covey to him in person, or over the phone. I have asked him to return his book to me recently so I could continue jotting my thoughts down for him.

[vicarious]

What a coincidence, I've been having trouble talking with your wife also :)

Well, next time you get through to her, can you mention that I'd like some nookie more than once per month? Hell, a BJ would be great too, just like the good 'ol days.

That would be appreciated! LOL

[Bandit]

Well, next time you get through to her, can you mention that I'd like some nookie more than once per month? Hell, a BJ would be great too, just like the good 'ol days.

That would be appreciated! LOL

:lmao

I'll see what I can do :)

[WandaRing]

I have tried this. Not a "letter" per se, but I sent my husband an email....a few months back....regarding couples that stop having sex, for whatever reason...and how they eventually grow apart. I wrote a note saying "We truly need to talk about this....I'm ready when you are."

I waited for him to mention it.

This thread just reminded me that he's never mentioned it.
Krystal I am sorry for all that you are going through...if you love him keep trying, find a way to shock him into listening...don't give up on yourself, your needs or your wants...marriage takes two if it is going to work. You are right couples not having sex do drift apart and it's not a pretty site to watch...it's heartbreaking and destructive.

[OICurready4me]

Yes. Men and women communicate so differently. Remember, women communicate to establish an emotional connection. Men communicate to convey information. If she's asking 50 questions, it's because she's digging for an emotional response.

<pause while you note how women communicate with each other>

Problem is, women are wanting an emotional response from men in typical conversations. I'll give you an example:

"honey, do you like that couch?"

What she's looking for is...how does that couch make you feel. Problem is, men don't have emotional attachments to things, places, situations. So, they keep digging for emotional responses that aren't there.

Just my experience.

Right on! I don't know how many times my wife would say to me, "why aren't you happy about the ___________ (insert bed spread, curtains, dining room furniture, etc)" as if I was supposed to do cartwheels or scream from the rooftops about it. She never got it that we really don't give a shit about things like that.

[FizProf]

It was explained to me some time ago that men and women have discussions for different reasons. We men try to use the discussion to arrive at a conclusion or decision....we are goal-oriented. That is certainly my own experience

Women supposedly use the discussion for the process...to gather information and points of view which they will digest and use for decision making later on their own.

For example: if your wife asks you which pair of shoes you like better it is insufficient to pick one pair and expalin why you chose them. You will also have to explain why you didn't like the others....if you keep in mind that she's not trying to make up her mind by taking to you, but just wanted your point of view on everything then it makes sense...

I find it difficult to talk to my wife. I find myself trying to explain everything no matter how simple. There's always these 50 questions I have to answer. This makes me uncomfortable and not wanting to hold discussions about anything with her.

Does your spouse make it hard for you to talk to them?:spbx:

[hrdbody]

Often she will start to cry and not just a few tears but a full out weeping and sobbing. Generally it is right when we are getting to the heart of the matter. Usually it makes completing the conversation impossible, so nothing gets resolved.

[Kinkawon]

I hate when she assumes she understands my point halfway through the first sentance. Then claims I'm tring to make her feel stupic when I try to explain what my real point really was.

[softrosepetal]

I am a very good listener......if he wanted to talk to me. He never talks to me until he is at work and then he text messages me to death. I don't talk to him often because he never listens and if he does listen he forgets quickly

[WandaRing]

I really hate what most of you are going through...and I don't know the answers because I am not you...or your spouse. I do know how painful it is and once the talking stops the relationship falls away, little by little.

If you love your spouse, I would suggest trying anything and everything...be drastic and creative....during the first year of my marriage my husband would come home very late without calling, he would always say I didn't want to wake you, or I forgot to call, so after like the third or fourth time, I got creative, I turned on every light, radio, TV, opened the windows, opened the cupboards, and the ovens...anything that could go on safely while I slept, went on until he got home. When he came home he had to spend ten minutes turning everything off and closing windows and doors...the next week he called and asked that I just leave one light on.
Bang! Message received loud and clear!

[partydude]

I agree pa

[YourAssMyHand]

I talk to mine all the time about our only problem, lack of sex. She acts like she is listening but still refuses to do anything about it. We went to sexual therapy on two separate occasions but she always quits because she says there is nothing wrong with her lack of desire. She says she is happy and doesn't need it.

[Vampireskiss]

What l find difficult to handle and not go balistic over are the face's. When you say something and they make a face along with a snotty comment. Make's me want to push her through the wall and then have her comment on how that felt...:nu l don't mind at all if you don't agree with what l may be saying...but don't wrinkle, curl or distorte your face in disapproval. Then add a comment that fit's how your lookng. To me it show's contempt and a huge lack of respect for the person your taalking to... I find it difficult to talk to my wife. I find myself trying to explain everything no matter how simple. There's always these 50 questions I have to answer. This makes me uncomfortable and not wanting to hold discussions about anything with her.

Does your spouse make it hard for you to talk to them?:spbx:

[mikeyroth]

I find it hard to talk to my wife also. And when we finally do talk, it feels like she listens, but doesn't comprehend what I am saying. We don't have that many issues, except that we don't see each other a lot, and that gets to be probablamatic sometimes, other times its a blessing.