I think a married man may like me....

[curiousandsingle]

I am single college girl and I am starting to think that an older married man that I work with likes me. I definitely don't want to be in a relationship with him, but I do enjoy flirting.

I know that he finds me attractive. He has commented on my looks to not only me, but other men I work with. He always stands super close to me and he touches me on my back and shoulder. I just have a feeling about it.

I used to think that I was making too much out of this, but he makes comments and looks at me in ways that are unquestionable.

How can I let him know that I am interested without being too obvious?
Is it wrong that I like him this much? How do I know if this is something that he would act on and how do I know that this isn't just something he does with every woman?

[scoobertina]

You said you don't want a relationship and then you said you are interested.. What exactly are you interested in? I would be careful first off with doing anything more than flirting with a coworker.. he already tells other guys that you are attractive to him, what is going to stop him from saying other things, if it goes further...


I wouldn't do it myself...

[curiousandsingle]

Well, this job isn't my career for starters. I am not planning on staying there long since I will be graduating from college soon.


I am not interested in a full blown relationship with anyone. That doesn't mean that I don't want to be romantically involved with someone. I am definitely attracted to him and would probably act on it if he wanted to.

However, I just want to keep it light and fun. I don't want to take him from his wife or anything like that, I just like the way he makes me feel.

[yaser]

Well, this job isn't my career for starters. I am not planning on staying there long since I will be graduating from college soon.


I am not interested in a full blown relationship with anyone. That doesn't mean that I don't want to be romantically involved with someone. I am definitely attracted to him and would probably act on it if he wanted to.

However, I just want to keep it light and fun. I don't want to take him from his wife or anything like that, I just like the way he makes me feel.
Welcome,Curious..Welcome.I am an old man who loves ladies every age young or old.If you ask me leave yourself on the waves of love whoever or whether he is married or not doesn not matter.Love is love worth to live.. :kk

[scoobertina]

However, I just want to keep it light and fun. I don't want to take him from his wife or anything like that, I just like the way he makes me feel.

Well if that is all you want then go for it.. flirting can lead to other things though so be careful...

[toowildtotame]

Don't do it !! Do not mix as they " Business with Pleasure"!!

He's married -- your not so it can only cause you much heart ache and stress and perhaps earn you a reputation at the office you don't want.

[cherokeered]

Welcome to the site....:wa:


To answer your question......getting involved with a married co-worker who talks to his friends about you....will end your career before it begins....
Most people don't realize that office gossip is not limited to your office or even your company....

I'm guessing he's a serial philanderer...a player...and those guys are useless, ruthless and best to be avoided...

[mrdiscreet]

Welcome to the site....:wa:


To answer your question......getting involved with a married co-worker who talks to his friends about you....will end your career before it begins....
Most people don't realize that office gossip is not limited to your office or even your company....

I'm guessing he's a serial philanderer...a player...and those guys are useless, ruthless and best to be avoided...

Agree with Red here. Normally I'd say, hey wahtever you want, but you are so young: it ruins a woman's career to be seen in the office as a slut (not my term, but being blunt about what gets said around office coolers). Be very aware that your reputation will follow you from job to job. As an older married man, I 100% guarantee you you can find someone similar (and why not upgrade, he doesn't sound like a prince) outside your workplace. We're a pretty suggestivble lot!

[w9kw]

I am single college girl and I am starting to think that an older married man that I work with likes me. I definitely don't want to be in a relationship with him, but I do enjoy flirting.

I know that he finds me attractive. He has commented on my looks to not only me, but other men I work with. He always stands super close to me and he touches me on my back and shoulder. I just have a feeling about it.

I used to think that I was making too much out of this, but he makes comments and looks at me in ways that are unquestionable.

How can I let him know that I am interested without being too obvious?
Is it wrong that I like him this much? How do I know if this is something that he would act on and how do I know that this isn't just something he does with every woman? Hell gal pick on us single guys we need to have fun to lol:wa:

[p.J]

I am single college girl and I am starting to think that an older married man that I work with likes me. I definitely don't want to be in a relationship with him, but I do enjoy flirting.

I know that he finds me attractive. He has commented on my looks to not only me, but other men I work with. He always stands super close to me and he touches me on my back and shoulder. I just have a feeling about it.

I used to think that I was making too much out of this, but he makes comments and looks at me in ways that are unquestionable.

How can I let him know that I am interested without being too obvious?
Is it wrong that I like him this much? How do I know if this is something that he would act on and how do I know that this isn't just something he does with every woman?

I find this rather disturbing if I am honest... I do however, would like to know his age. You curiousandsingle, at the wonderful age of 22! I wonder if the attention this married buck is actually what flatters you so... what do you find so attractive about him that you do not with men your own age? I am not be patronising here, because believe me I know where you are coming from. I had an affair with a married man (many moons ago) - I was 21 he was 36 - for 4 years, while extremely passionate and dear god he taught me so much! and yes I fell in love with him... to cut a very very long story short he stayed with his wife!
So what I am trying to say? well, remember, you are not forced to act on your instincts. You can't always control what you feel, but what you do about those feelings is totally in your court... Put yourself and your values first and you should know what to do. Good luck! :)

[Cotties]

First thing that came to mind when I read this was...asking older married women for advise on this one is suicidal....laughs...


as for letting him know you like him....just licking your lips when he looks at you probably does it for him..

one thing about older more mature men is they do communicate alot better than guys you have already dated...so talk to him and he may tell you what he wants out of the relationship...chances are its just to grab your ass and head home to his wife...

Lots of guys are happily married just not happy in bed..sounds to me like you are both looking for the same thing...good luck and keep me as a backup if he falls through;)
I am single college girl and I am starting to think that an older married man that I work with likes me. I definitely don't want to be in a relationship with him, but I do enjoy flirting.

I know that he finds me attractive. He has commented on my looks to not only me, but other men I work with. He always stands super close to me and he touches me on my back and shoulder. I just have a feeling about it.

I used to think that I was making too much out of this, but he makes comments and looks at me in ways that are unquestionable.

How can I let him know that I am interested without being too obvious?
Is it wrong that I like him this much? How do I know if this is something that he would act on and how do I know that this isn't just something he does with every woman?

[RedVixen]

22 eh? Okay here's my two cents worth....keep your relationship to innocent flirting and let him know that you won't let it go any further than that.

And when you're ready/wanting a serious relationship then go find someone who's single...there's plenty of them out there :)

Good luck

[WandaRing]

Curious and single

First, decide what you really want and how far you are willing to let the flirting go…how much is too much and what are your acceptable limits? What is that you like about him? Is it the attention, his looks or something else?

Send a note telling him how you feel and what you are looking for. Leave it up to him.


Remember you always have the right to say no! Use caution and care because if he is married, you are playing with fire. Someone single and closer to your age can be just as nice.

[curiousandsingle]

I actually liked him before I knew he was married, I guess I didn't realize that ring on his finger.

I do not know for sure how old he is, but I am assuming about 10-15 years older, which I am completely fine with at this point in my life. I feel like I am very mature for my age and definitely have considered all of the negatives, but it seems like the positives have outweighed the negatives.

I work in a nice restaurant, and this man is my boss. I know a lot of you may think that is wrong, but I feel like there is a mutual attraction there and I just don't know how to get him to express that with me.

[mrdiscreet]

I actually liked him before I knew he was married, I guess I didn't realize that ring on his finger.

I do not know for sure how old he is, but I am assuming about 10-15 years older, which I am completely fine with at this point in my life. I feel like I am very mature for my age and definitely have considered all of the negatives, but it seems like the positives have outweighed the negatives.

I work in a nice restaurant, and this man is my boss. I know a lot of you may think that is wrong, but I feel like there is a mutual attraction there and I just don't know how to get him to express that with me.

Your old enough to do as you wish, folks here just want you to do so with your eyes open. Not a judgmental place here as to "right" and "wrong"; I think many have just seen this scenario play out badly and wanted to give you the benefit of their experience.

I'd focus on this following you: are you really confident talk won't bleed over to your chosen line of work? If he's you boss, and turns out to be a cad, imagine the reference he may give. It happens. But no one here can assess the situation as well as you, just things ot consider.

[Kurio99]

:)I am married and enjoy light flirting with women, both younger and older. A smile, a friendly hello, lending a hand, and some light banter. I am not out to get laid. Maybe I am being a tease, and hopefully the other person is playing the same game. Such encounters seem to brighten my day and when I go home, I tend to be in a frisky mood for my wife.

Thank goodness, no woman has ever tried to take it to the next stage with me. I am not sure that I would have the courage or self control to say no. Each small step will lead to another. I visualize that road and know that it will lead nowhere good. Will you help start him down this long dark path?

[Domus]

I actually liked him before I knew he was married, I guess I didn't realize that ring on his finger.

I do not know for sure how old he is, but I am assuming about 10-15 years older, which I am completely fine with at this point in my life. I feel like I am very mature for my age and definitely have considered all of the negatives, but it seems like the positives have outweighed the negatives.

I work in a nice restaurant, and this man is my boss. I know a lot of you may think that is wrong, but I feel like there is a mutual attraction there and I just don't know how to get him to express that with me.



You sound like a very determined and intelligent young lady.
I'm sure you'll find a way :)

[RedHotPisces]

:wa: hello kurio...welcome :wa:

:)I am married and enjoy light flirting with women, both younger and older. A smile, a friendly hello, lending a hand, and some light banter. I am not out to get laid. Maybe I am being a tease, and hopefully the other person is playing the same game. Such encounters seem to brighten my day and when I go home, I tend to be in a frisky mood for my wife.

Thank goodness, no woman has ever tried to take it to the next stage with me. I am not sure that I would have the courage or self control to say no. Each small step will lead to another. I visualize that road and know that it will lead nowhere good. Will you help start him down this long dark path?

[masterx1412]

You will get any where from "go for it!" to "never even consider it", but the bottom line is that you need to understand that there may be consequences if you move forward with it. If you are ok with that, then no matter what anyone says, you will make the final decision.

Just to throw my 2 cents in there though (I had to.. :)), if you do decide to pursue it, i would definitely flirt with him to see how he responds. If he responds, then continue to ramp it up a bit then move on from there.

[p.a]

I think your playing with fire for the sake of a little fun. Others can be hurt including you. Ever heard of Monika Lewinsky?
Consider the possibility that if this man loses his family and his job over this little fling he might want to blame someone other than himself. Do you do well with crazy people looking to kill you? No this is not far fetched. Several young women have come up missing and found dead this year. One that comes to mind is the pregnant young lady who was killed by her cop lover.

If this sounds like I'm trying to scare you it's because I am and if I knew your parents they would know about this to. You say your about to graduate from college. Do they teach common sense at this college or is this one of those girl gone wild party schools.
I hope you find that insulting so that maybe you will grow up and take life a bit more seriously.

[duanehofner]

It sounds like he's interested, go slow, keep a little flirt going and eventually he may suggest lunch. Good luck but also don't get wrapped up with the guy too much, It' not likely he'll leave his wife for you, no matter how bad he tells you she is

[simplygrace]

I'd wait to see if made the first move.

[fondew2004]

You said you don't want a relationship and then you said you are interested.. What exactly are you interested in? I would be careful first off with doing anything more than flirting with a coworker.. he already tells other guys that you are attractive to him, what is going to stop him from saying other things, if it goes further...


I wouldn't do it myself...
I agree with Scoob....be very very careful at work....there are too many laws and dangers there.
But as far as "older"....hey, if you're physically attracted to him...you go girl!

Tease away...if something hotter develops....so much the better.

[leggy4]

Well, being married I have seen girls like u who have taken an interest in my husband.. Why don't you find a single guy??? Is there a problem?? If you flirt with him you may be getting yourself in a fix if you know what I mean... If you don't intend on doing something about it I wouldn't pursue it.. If it is a work situation you need to be careful.. did they go over sexual harassment policy with you????

[jmsmith12345]

Ummm...I am looking to fill a position in my office. :D

[Iowa Guy 77]

I am single college girl and I am starting to think that an older married man that I work with likes me. I definitely don't want to be in a relationship with him, but I do enjoy flirting.

I know that he finds me attractive. He has commented on my looks to not only me, but other men I work with. He always stands super close to me and he touches me on my back and shoulder. I just have a feeling about it.

I used to think that I was making too much out of this, but he makes comments and looks at me in ways that are unquestionable.

How can I let him know that I am interested without being too obvious?
Is it wrong that I like him this much? How do I know if this is something that he would act on and how do I know that this isn't just something he does with every woman?


You should watch how he treats other women in the office and go with that. Once you know you should follow what you think is right. You do have alot to potentially lose if he is just being friendly and is not wanting more then a professional/friendsip relationship.

[leggy4]

One question comes to mind here.... If you are a single 23 year old college girl... are u divorced???/ not to be a rude person, but what exactly brings you to this site.. previously married people or married people here.... A person your age one would think would be looking for a person in other places.. Often girls(believe me I know) like married men bc they are unattainable.. am I right in this respect????? Don't forget there is a wife involved at home.... I have been there, the wife when a young girl flirts with my husband bc she loves the challenge.... sorry I am entitled to my opinion

[Shawn]

Wow ...gotta love the forum diggin on this thread , only a year and a half old, I am pretty sure the situation has passed as she has not logged on since Dec of 2007

[neil48]

Wow ...gotta love the forum diggin on this thread , only a year and a half old, I am pretty sure the situation has passed as she has not logged on since Dec of 2007
could this be called a "dead thread" at this point ?

[TIGUY]

Poor Iowa Guy....probably never looked at the date of the first post....

[Shawn]

Poor Iowa Guy....probably never looked at the date of the first post....

No he just replied to the original but it was not him whom dug it up... Fondew is like the Dead Thread Undertaker... :D

[gdg]

Who knows, maybe when she is old and grey she will hop on here and look us all up. But, alas we will be dead.

[Shawn]

Who knows, maybe when she is old and grey she will hop on here and look us all up. But, alas we will be dead.

Except me... I am immortal

[gdg]

Except me... I am immortal

Honey, was that not a typo, didn't u mean immoral?

[vicarious]

Keep flirting. Perhaps at an office event, you'll have the opportunity through more serious flirting on whether or not your/his advances will go further than just flirting.

But, I'd say return his advances and see where it goes.

[neil48]

Keep flirting. Perhaps at an office event, you'll have the opportunity through more serious flirting on whether or not your/his advances will go further than just flirting.

But, I'd say return his advances and see where it goes.
for real ?...no really.....for real ?

[leggy4]

yea sorry it just got me going!!!!!! leggy needs glasses too:D

[countrygent07]

I think your playing with fire for the sake of a little fun. Others can be hurt including you. Ever heard of Monika Lewinsky?
Consider the possibility that if this man loses his family and his job over this little fling he might want to blame someone other than himself. Do you do well with crazy people looking to kill you? No this is not far fetched. Several young women have come up missing and found dead this year. One that comes to mind is the pregnant young lady who was killed by her cop lover.

If this sounds like I'm trying to scare you it's because I am and if I knew your parents they would know about this to. You say your about to graduate from college. Do they teach common sense at this college or is this one of those girl gone wild party schools.
I hope you find that insulting so that maybe you will grow up and take life a bit more seriously.


Thank God for one post that reflects some common sense - it's not just about a fun, flattering role in the hay with an attractive older guy - families, kids, careers - there is more to life than a little selfish gratification. Thank you, p.a. for pointing out some harsh realities.

[FizProf]

Didn't I already see this thread before...
Well Self-plagiarism may be an academic infraction, but here it goes:

Speaking for myself as a married man: There are VERY few things more irresistible than a women who has a crush on me, especially one much younger than I am. If you were to send me a message like you are thinking of doing to this man, I would probably go off the deep end, do something I will almost certainly regret later. Such is the kind of power a young woman like you hold over middle-aged married men like us.

Please be merciful to this poor fellow...it will likely be just a fun fling for you but you hold the power to destroy his life...