Trust

[p.a]

Trust. How much do you need to trust before you commit to something or someone?

[WandaRing]

I guess it depends on the person and the situation. Trust, like respect needs to be earned and is not given out at a drop of a hat. We are born with instincts and feelings and learn throughout life who and what we trust, we develop our own personal boundaries and when they are crossed we react….just listen to your feelings and ask, the why’s and how comes….

[thickitalian]

If the commitment is for a lifetime, then you better generate all of your past experiences and use intelligence, common sense, gut feelings, and know the person online as well as up close and personal...but knowing the person online is very important as we find out more about an individual online in six months of chatting every day than we do our own spouses who we have been with for many years. It is important to have differences and make certain we do not solely say what the other person wants to hear...be as honest and polite as possible, even if you feel it can jeopardize your connection. Two people in love will understand failure as well as success because love is not based on either/or...and if it is...you'll both be better off moving on because the love is not as genuine as you think it is.

Not certain you can place a number on how long a time but I know if I used all of the above...I will know when the time has come to make that commitment.

[Mustang65]

I have a tendency to trust people till I get burned but I never trust them with anything I cannot afford to lose - that takes time - So if someone asks me for a few bucks and they say they will pay me back I 99% of the time will hook them up but if they do not pay me back then the next time I do not trust them...

Hope that makes sense

[twoblues]

I have a tendency to trust people till I get burned but I never trust them with anything I cannot afford to lose - that takes time - So if someone asks me for a few bucks and they say they will pay me back I 99% of the time will hook them up but if they do not pay me back then the next time I do not trust them...

Hope that makes sense


Dang, I find myself agreeing with you again for the second time on a different thread...I must be getting ill ;)

As you said. I start with a full "pail" of trust in a relationship...as time goes on, that pail either empties or it stays full...there really isn't anything that I have that I couldn't afford to lose, though, so there is never a reason to have them earn my trust. I'm a pretty good judge of character and there are people who I just wouldn't date because I know they can't start with a full "pail"...now, how's that for an analogy filled paragraph? :p

[Penny]

There arent many people that I do trust. Just left over feelings from childhood I guess.

[pointofnoreturn]

I probably trust more than I should. I try to beleive everyone is good, until they prove me wrong. But if you prove me wrong....shame on you.....I have a harder time forgetting......

[Vicious305]

I probably trust more than I should. I try to beleive everyone is good, until they prove me wrong. But if you prove me wrong....shame on you.....I have a harder time forgetting......

ditto, amen to that

[My_Secrets_Kept]

I probably trust more than I should. I try to beleive everyone is good, until they prove me wrong. But if you prove me wrong....shame on you.....I have a harder time forgetting......

Point that makes me think of a saying that I've always liked!

"Hurt me once, Shame on you"
"Hurt me twice, Shame on me"

[Sensual Woman]

There arent many people that I do trust. Just left over feelings from childhood I guess.

I am the same way - scarred from getting burned too many times

[Sneaky]

Takes me a while. And when you do trust you make yourself vulnerable, and open to disappointment.

[p.J]

Trust. How much do you need to trust before you commit to something or someone?


mmmmm! now heres a conumdrum! Because for me it depends on circumstances, situations and all that doo da. But is trust earned or learned? What I do know is that if I trust someone totally I will give them the earth, if they betray me, I will hunt them down and take off their bollocks!

[Sensual Woman]

Takes me a while. And when you do trust you make yourself vulnerable, and open to disappointment.

And when I finally do open myself up and be vulnerable to trust - I always ende up getting betrayed.

[Sneaky]

And when I finally do open myself up and be vulnerable to trust - I always ende up getting betrayed.

That is when you must kick ass. :kk

You have to trust sometimes though. And even if you end up getting hurt, you can learn something. But it is never easy.

[Sensual Woman]

That is when you must kick ass. :kk

You have to trust sometimes though. And even if you end up getting hurt, you can learn something. But it is never easy.

No, it's not.

[Postman]

Trust is not easy.
And it almost always has to be earned.

[Sensual Woman]

Trust is not easy.
And it almost always has to be earned.

As it should be

[YLS]

I used to trust people instinctively until they've proven that I shouldn't. However, over the years, I've learned to give trust gradually and over time. I will trust early, but only to a point. Deep trust...real, meaningful trust, must be earned. And that goes both ways! I realize, though, that emotions are both powerful and unpredicable. As such, in the right situation, I know that all that I've stated above can be thrown out with the kitchen sink if the right woman came along and stole my heart. :rolleyes:

[boomer3]

I very rarely trust anyone from the start. They have to earn my respect before they can earn my trust. But once you have my trust you have my loyalty as a friend. Until given a reason not to trust you again. Then you've made an enemy for life.

[pointofnoreturn]

If he puts a hundred on the stand...I trust I might have some fun....If he puts more.....I trust he will have some fun.....:D

[cmt21lem]

And when I finally do open myself up and be vulnerable to trust - I always ende up getting betrayed.... I trust I never do this

[purring]

I trust too easily. So far I have met an amazing man and I really think he is very special. He hasn't given me any reason what so ever to not trust him.

[MIGHTY]

I actually have a hard time trusting....once bitten twice shy and all. It takes a long time to earn my complete trust. Even when I feel as if I have reached the point of letting go I will subconsciously pull back the reigns a bit in fear of getting burned. But, as afraid of emotional pain as I may be, once you have earned it it is yours for the keeping and takes a lot to stain such trust......even when distrust is warrented.

[RedVixen]

Trust. How much do you need to trust before you commit to something or someone?

It depends, but usually it takes me awhile to trust someone. I have to feel comfortable.

[My_Secrets_Kept]

Trust is a strange thing. Both parties in most any type of relationship want it, but sometimes neither is willing to offer it up too easily and that coming together never completely occurs. Admittedly I do have trust issues, obviously as do many others here as well. Instinctively 99.9% of the time I go into any type of friendship or relationship not completely trusting the other person; questioning their every move, word, motives and needing them to earn my trust and most times finding they never quite hold up to my untrusting and leery expectations. But... there is the rare occasion that occurs, and without even being able to completely explain it even to myself, someone will catch me completely off my guard. And that normal self protective taking 10 steps back and closing oneself off doesn’t even come into play. It’s just unquestionably natural to trust that other person from the get go, no doubts, no reservations; and whatever it is, it just is. But and ya know I have to throw in a little but here, there’s still the occasional questions which is only natural when learning about someone else.

[Iwantutowantme]

I guess it depends on the person and the situation. Trust, like respect needs to be earned and is not given out at a drop of a hat. We are born with instincts and feelings and learn throughout life who and what we trust, we develop our own personal boundaries and when they are crossed we react….just listen to your feelings and ask, the why’s and how comes….

Wow!! So well written and thought out. It's like combining the wisdom from a dozen well written relationship books, in one highly intelligent paragraph. Cant add anything to that.

[wolfman]

As it should be
Yep

[Annie]

I don't think I can completely trust anyone. I trust certain people with certain things, but no one completely. I think we're all like that to some degree. You trust a babysitter with the kids, the most important part of your life.... but do you trust her with the secrets of your marriage, do you trust her enough to leave huge amounts of cash laying around?

It's easy for me trust others with tangibles. When it comes baring my soul, I trust no one, so I isolate myself from those I love the most. I'm much less lovable when my weaknesses become obvious.

[cherokeered]

I am not a trusting sort...I do it to keep from being hurt or disappointed....but of course one can never keep oneself fully protected from that

[unctarheel_32]

I trust certain people u know

[OICurready4me]

Trust to me is something that is earned. And to earn it, it must be built from the ground up, through the test of time, like a foundation. If the foundation develops a crack, the whole thing can crumble.

[1hotmommy]

I agree with Annie that it depends on the person and situation. There are certain people I trust more than others, and I'd have to know as much about the situation as I can before I commit to anything.

[Bama River Man]

What an odd topic for this site. However strange it may be, I have found that trust in my extramarital partner is key.

[kaycee727(m)]

I think there is a part of all of us that wants to trust before we move anywhere . Our hearts have probably been broken a few times in the past so we are afraid of being hurt again. Patience is the key to anything in our lives.

[Micwar]

Trust is like a well kept secret, if you want to keep it a secret, tell no one. I trust everyone enough to know they'll stab me in the back. I don't trust much.

[marriedwomanchaser]

I do not really trust anyone, well I did once, but I learned from it.

[Misty]

I trust to a fault :(
grandma's wisdom that said trust breeds trust seems to hold no water these days :(

[yaser]

Know who you trust who you MUST NOT...Know thyself,know others...

[laineycali]

I have a tendency to trust people till I get burned but I never trust them with anything I cannot afford to lose - that takes time - So if someone asks me for a few bucks and they say they will pay me back I 99% of the time will hook them up but if they do not pay me back then the next time I do not trust them...

Hope that makes sense


ABSOLUUTLY makes sence to me!!!.. can i borrow five bucks? (kiddin)

[laineycali]

What an odd topic for this site. However strange it may be, I have found that trust in my extramarital partner is key.



garsh .ur a poet!!!:55

[private beaches]

I REALLY wish this wasnt an issue for me. I think I missed out on alot b/c of trust/fear issues. Some major descisions I have made in my life were related to how safe/how much I trusted someone. I guess its a deeprooted phenomenom for me that will never go away completely.

[medic]

well without trust can u really be comfortale in a relationship?

[Sensual Woman]

I REALLY wish this wasnt an issue for me. I think I missed out on alot b/c of trust/fear issues. Some major descisions I have made in my life were related to how safe/how much I trusted someone. I guess its a deeprooted phenomenom for me that will never go away completely.


Me too. It is extremely hard for me to trust anyone because of all that has happened to me in my life. Those close to me understand and accept that. As for feeling safe...I never feel safe. I really wish I could.

[trausersnake]

Trust is not a mountain that stands on the edge of insanity, it is an ocean. Trust is a very fluid sitution that can flow back and forth. There are no absolutes when it comes to trust. Todays trust is tommorows betrayal. We have all experienced it and yet still put ourselves out there to risk something for it. At what point do we take a risk? What you desire is something that does not exist. We all take chances, we all recieve the rewards and risks that follow. You cannot measure a moving target.

[private beaches]

Me too. It is extremely hard for me to trust anyone because of all that has happened to me in my life. Those close to me understand and accept that. As for feeling safe...I never feel safe. I really wish I could.

If you ever need an ear I am here, Sensual:hug::hug:

[hank69]

I trust ... not many, also depends on what kind of trust Is needed and for what.

[TIGUY]

I have seen too many great great personalities change according to the moment in time both male and female. There are those we should trust completely...we would hope...and those would be our loved ones...but unfortunately some of those loved ones are the reasons most of us are here.

It's so important to know your loved one in times of doom and gloom so to speak...that is the real test for me.

[TilersCut]

I trust to a fault :(
grandma's wisdom that said trust breeds trust seems to hold no water these days :(

Right you are, Misty. If there was any logic whatsoever to sex, trust should be the sexiest of all attributes. If it was, our relationships would be much better across the board. It is not - looks is what attracts us and sustains us. And that is why so many people end up used, and hurt.

[marriedwomanchaser]

well without trust can u really be comfortale in a relationship?

I suppose that would depend on what you wanted to get out of the relationship. I find myself keeping a safe distance from total trust of my bed partner, emotions change all the time and so do people having them.

[Noflyzone]

Yes a percfect piece of glass ......

Once broken it can never be mended ......

You only tolerate the cracks imperfections

G.

[thebouncer]

I tend to trust until proven otherwise ..that has come back to bite me in the ass but not often enough to make a difference in the way I treat new pwople I meet

[marriedwomanchaser]

I probably trust more than I should. I try to beleive everyone is good, until they prove me wrong. But if you prove me wrong....shame on you.....I have a harder time forgetting......

feel the same way really. I find it real hard anymore to trust anyone, I really go not know of one person that I trust totally anymore, but the little trust I do have I feel the same way as you do towards that

[pointofnoreturn]

I too am very trusting, but guarded.......

[Sylar]

I know it may sound sad, but I have only trusted (fully) two people in my entire lifetime. Just a big ole' cynic, I guess...

[Krystal]

Me too yasha....although my number is probably four. My mom passed away, and my brother is the only one left on the list. The other two earned my distrust. Sad.

I know it may sound sad, but I have only trusted (fully) two people in my entire lifetime. Just a big ole' cynic, I guess...

[Sylar]

Me too yasha....although my number is probably four. My mom passed away, and my brother is the only one left on the list. The other two earned my distrust. Sad.

Yeah...I started out with a bigger list, too...no one in my family (who is still among the living) is worthy of much trust...it pains me to say that, but it's true. It's been proven to me several times over. My father was the only one...So among the living, their remains only one person I have ever fully trusted...

...and you were "boobie fiving" her last night...:D

[Shafe]

Completely trust? I have a hard time with that, only one person comes to mind when I say that. For most people, I'll give the benefit of the doubt, and let guarded trust come naturally if it does.

Letting someone in and giving the opportunity to be close, though, is more important to me than all the hurts that come with it!

[woodsman8]

I trusted my x with my life and my heart, after she broke that trust I fell I will never be able to fully trust another.

[kaycee727(m)]

not odd. There has to be trust. The reason we are here or I can only speak for myself is that my trust for my spouse to try and understand me has been gone for way too long. I am trying to find that trusting feeling from another who will return that feeling back. I have a motto that I live by. I trust someone from the minute I meet them and they have three chances to screw with that trust and after three strikes I have alot of trouble giving that person anything.Kinda blunt but its just the way I feel. I put alot of stock into someone word and actions towards me.

[glen516]

I have often been very guarded about who I trusted. This relationship is the 2nd time I let my walls down and like the 1st time I have been deeply hurt. So now I will not allow anyone to get that close again.

[private beaches]

I have often been very guarded about who I trusted. This relationship is the 2nd time I let my walls down and like the 1st time I have been deeply hurt. So now I will not allow anyone to get that close again.
:hug::hug::hug:

[dixiechiknga]

I trust everyone until they give me a reason not to.

[marriedwomanchaser]

I trusted my x with my life and my heart, after she broke that trust I fell I will never be able to fully trust another.

Hey me too, I trusted her that way, but I do not feel the way you about it, I am glad I did and I am also thanking god every day that she is someones elses problem:wy

[SunnyD]

I really don't tend to let anyone close enough to hurt me. Trust is a big thing to me and it doesn't come easy for most to get. I can only think of one man that has ever actually gotten there and so far he is worth every bit of it:)

[woodsman8]

I think trust is very important in a relationship ti just glaze over. If you do not trust them then you are going to be sorry in the end. Just my feeling here, been burnt and di dnot like it.

[ksue7274]

You have to trust someone until they give you reason not to. If you are always wondering if your going to get burned by trusting them, then all you accomplish is worry. In the end they also get tired of proving themselves and it pushes them further away.

[kay1965]

I trust people probably to fast to soon then I usually end up getting hurt in the end ,Then after the hurt is over it akes me longer next time to trust anyone for a while.

[LuckyJest]

...it is best I feel to take people at their word, but this is balanced by and ultimately outweighed by their actions...word games are a waste of time in life... One has to be discriminating, observant and wise... Trust is built. My desire is to trust but I hold back and give it out with caution, slowly.

[dixiechiknga]

I have to trust someone a whole lot before I commit to anything.

[Fargo...really]

Sorry for putting on the poindexter glasses, but...

Think of trust and time as two axis of a graph (trust is the up/down axis, time, left/right). The points that are plotted on that graph are our experiences with someone.

Most people the first time they meet someone will give them at least a little benefit of the doubt and put them some where above zero (zero = neither trustworthy or non-trustworthy). How far above zero will differ according the person giving the trust ("Jill") and how the person ("Jack")they met presents themselves.

If Jack's initial dealings with Jill turn out to be worthy of trust, she usually will increase the trust she has in him in the future. After a trend line of giving trust and that trust being honored, Jack can have a "slip" here or there and usually be able to re-build Jill's trust in him by doing trustworthy things.

If however, Jack's trustworthiness falls "below the line", it will be at least ten times harder for him to rebuild Jill's trust in him.

Sorry for the clinical description, but to me the above helps quantify some very qualitative emotions we, and the people we interact with, have.

If you have @#$%ed up and went below someone's trust line zero, don't get frustrated that the other person "won't get over it". It is up to you to do at least ten times more than you think you ever should if you want to rebuild that person's trust.

If you feel you have trust issues, imagine the first time you meet people throughout your day (the security guard who tells you what floor the dentist's office is at, the teenager who takes your ticket at the movies and tells you that you need to go to theater 6, etc.). Wouldn't you plot your trust in those people at least some point above the zero line?

It may take people more dots on your trust graph to move upwards than on some (many) other people's trust graphs, but that's you and the people who love/care about you will take the time to get there with you.

Putting pointdexter glasses down and turning off my :spbx:

[Constance]

I have a tendency to trust people till I get burned but I never trust them with anything I cannot afford to lose - that takes time - So if someone asks me for a few bucks and they say they will pay me back I 99% of the time will hook them up but if they do not pay me back then the next time I do not trust them...

Hope that makes sense
That is so true Mustang. I say trust people until they give you a reason not to. Be careful and don't give out to much information until you feel like you know them. That can take a long time or short time. It's up to you. Use your instincts. Most of the time they are right.

:wa:

[Trouble69]

This is a funny topic. When i was younger i would trust until you gave me a reason no too. As i got older the more i realized how many people are not trustworthy. It's really sad. Now....i literally trust no one. It sounds really warped i know, but it is'nt so bad. I just think that even the most trustworthy person i know could make a bad choice at any given moment.

But i AM from New York.....lol.

Hey, who do you know of the opposite sex would you leave alone with your spouse for a night of drinking and just hanging out?

[athlon_man]

Trust no one.....
Truth is out there.....

[farmer69]

But if they burn you do they get another chance over time

[Trouble69]

If you put your hand too close to a flame and get burned.....what will happen the next time you put your hand close to a flame?

Yes, i answered your question with a question.

[ethans_so_bad]

Trust is a delicate thing. It is very hard to gain and is very fragile and easy to destroy.

I find being a sorry bastard much less labor intensive...

[Fargo...really]

Hey, who do you know of the opposite sex would you leave alone with your spouse for a night of drinking and just hanging out?

Found him: there is a bagger at one the grocery stores near us who is 350 lbs, has arms like gun boats and is one of the most flaming "other team" guys you will ever meet.

Every time he bags for us, I tell my wife that I want an age appropriate version of him to be my precious daughter's body guarding best friend.

[TIGUY]

That is such a difficult question to answer because there just seems to be too many ppl out there that claim to be everything you hope for...but at the same time...will drop you at the blink of an eye. I say, unless you know the person since childhood...you truly don't know them and you just have to go with your intelligence and gut feelings...trust your gut because the warning signs, no matter how vague...are correct more times than not.

My thoughts...

Trust. How much do you need to trust before you commit to something or someone?

[private beaches]

But if they burn you do they get another chance over time

It depends on the character of the person, the circumstances you were in, his/her motive and was it intentional?

Or for me, its also what does my gut tell me-

[Goodfella]

trust to me is everything in a relationship. if there is no trust the relationship rusts!