Whats wrong with having a sex buddy on the side???

[Affect]

Unless you're spooning - its better to have a sex buddy on their back or front. Don't you think Yaser?

[yaser]

Unless you're spooning - its better to have a sex buddy on their back or front. Don't you think Yaser?
It seems so..I believe you are right..Affect.

[OICurready4me]

I have seriously considered this but have wondered how one goes about finding someone that will be happy with providing 'a service' while you figure out what you need to do with your marraige and life. After investing 24 yrs in a marraige, it isn't easy to just 'walk away'. This is especially true when your spouse is totally depandant on you to take care of almost every aspect of his life (like a child) and his emotional state is so fragile you realize you might destroy him should you make that move. Even when the kids are encouraging you-still not easy to figure out. It would be so nice to have someone's arms to fall into, to have some passionate, mind-blowing sex to take you away from it all.

you sound like someone that really needs one. I've been married 11 years and my wife is like your husband, by the sounds of it. My wife is totally dependent on me also and our relationship is like that of a father and daughter instead of husband and wife. The intense dependency has driven me crazy and with the lack of sex, which even when we had it every 8 or 9 months was awful anyway, it just drove me away. That started several years ago and I had a "buddy" for a couple years and we sated each others needs. It was an ex girlfriend but we had agreed what it was going to be beforehand and it never went beyond that. Once she got a new boyfriend, a couple years ago, we stopped. Good luck in your search.

[Sunfiresix]

I have thought about it a lot lately, I would enjoy having a female that I can share those emotions and feelings with, after all these years--I miss them.

[dcowboy09]

nothing wrong with it at all, everybody needs attention, especially if not getting it at home

[GaelicCharm]

well all need affection and attention from time to time,and if not receiving it from home then questions have to be asked.

[skinnyone]

I don't think that it is wrong, especially if you are not getting it at home.
Sex is a beautiful and fulfilling thing, it's great if you can find a person that enjoys
it as much as u do! Even if it is on the side.....

[TheTurtle]

I have seriously considered this but have wondered how one goes about finding someone that will be happy with providing 'a service' while you figure out what you need to do with your marraige and life. After investing 24 yrs in a marraige, it isn't easy to just 'walk away'. This is especially true when your spouse is totally depandant on you to take care of almost every aspect of his life (like a child) and his emotional state is so fragile you realize you might destroy him should you make that move. Even when the kids are encouraging you-still not easy to figure out. It would be so nice to have someone's arms to fall into, to have some passionate, mind-blowing sex to take you away from it all.

If you were a little closer, I would love to meet you! I been looking for awhile. Not the romantic/emotional attachments; but a friend you can be open with and enjoy some great sex with. Yup.

[noodlegurl]

Well not getting it here, Pick me, Pick Me..... ;)




nothing wrong with it at all, everybody needs attention, especially if not getting it at home

[javier51]

Nothing wrong with that.......any volunteers to be mine.

[chuck909909]

go for it

[rizz]

nothing wrong at all if both parties know what it is going in and can keep it that way...but most ppl cant

[Atrebla Rose]

dont think I am shallow enough, but still debating!

[stevelooking]

dont think I am shallow enough, but still debating!


not shallow at all rose

[Atrebla Rose]

not shallow at all rose

thanks steve :kk I am thinking it has to be deeper than just a buddy! But I will let you know;)

[rizz]

dont think I am shallow enough, but still debating!
lol....don't dive in this pool....

[stevelooking]

thanks steve :kk I am thinking it has to be deeper than just a buddy! But I will let you know;)

:wa: gottcha rose have a great night

[Intubater69]

I would love to have a fwb. my wife has such a low sex drive and is rather vanilla, not much into trying new things. Maybe if I got it more then a quickie ev other week i'd think diff.

[dcowboy09]

Well not getting it here, Pick me, Pick Me..... ;)

for horse back riding?

[WandaRing]

it really is a lot of work, building the connection, finding safe places to meet, having enough trust that they are not seeing others, STD's, feelings getting hurt, and of course getting caught and having families brk up...it is a risk

[bluebarron2]

It probably wouldn't be wrong if getting caught wouldn't hurt someone...I think that emotion from either party would decide if it was wrong or not.

[stevelooking]

Must Be NSA only and never get the emotions in the way. it is fun to talk to her alot, but must not be emotional evr.

[laineycali]

i think... its not the hideing or telling or moral parts that can be as difficult as the person ur messin with on the side.. that part gets tricky ... its hard to stay honest and in the moment.. hard to keep it light ..sometimes.. takes talkin and honesty att times... but.....u CAN get there..i've had both ways and i swear.. its always fun..just the ending .. or stopping sometimes whew that gets rough!...

[sexytiger]

I will keep that in mind......:D

growl






i think... its not the hideing or telling or moral parts that can be as difficult as the person ur messin with on the side.. that part gets tricky ... its hard to stay honest and in the moment.. hard to keep it light ..sometimes.. takes talkin and honesty att times... but.....u CAN get there..i've had both ways and i swear.. its always fun..just the ending .. or stopping sometimes whew that gets rough!...

[GaelicCharm]

i agree Annie but sometimes the risk is required its not too everyone taste and there a lot to think about and think about what may happen.

[socentralkyguy]

I don't think there is anything "wrong" with it per se, but each has to decide if they can handle the pressure..the stress and the secrecy of a double life. It has been worth it for me in the past.

[Huzyerdaddi]

I guess there's nothing wrong with having a sex buddy "on the side"....but I think it works better if you approach them from the front.

[dcowboy09]

nothing as long as she is warm and has a heartbeat:D

[noodlegurl]

I really do not even care if it has a heartbeat at this time.... :D




nothing as long as she is warm and has a heartbeat:D

[AL(m)]

Would love a sex bubby right now...... mm myes... :D

[GaelicCharm]

a sex buddy would be ideal then again sex would be ideal

[OC_guy]

That sounds good to me.. I have a heartbeat BTW

Seriously, like everyone said there is a lot to consider but the temptation is ALWAYS there for me.


I really do not even care if it has a heartbeat at this time.... :D

[Timberwolf]

hello everyone. i am new and read through this entire thread. interesting.i dont think i can offer much that hasnt been touched on already except to explain why i am here. all i ever wanted was that one girl who would captivate my world and make me want her more than my own life while, at the same time, make my life just as precious to her. instead, i am in a bad relationship which, for some very good reasons i cannot leave. so i sit here, day after day, watching my life dither away while thinking of what could have been if only... Sometimes i think a sex-buddy would make a difference and maybe it would in the short term. In the end, my desire for an affair comes from a deep rooted feeling of helplessness, loss, and despair. And likely that feeling will always be there because, by the time i can get out of this i will have nothing left of either life or myself to offer up. On the other hand, maybe an affair can accomplish much the same as a good stiff drink... or ten. Thanks for listening

[scoobertina]

Right now I need a sex buddy... doesn't matter where he is... to my side.. behind me... under me... I DON'T CARE anymore...

[scoobertina]

Sorry, Hi Timberwolf... lmao...:wa:

[househub]

is that like a cyber buddy, or a voice buddy, or a fleshy biddy, they arent alike

[GaelicCharm]

lol tina am booking my flight now

[nolarry]

i agree it could be dangerous...what if you decided to cut it off and the other got mad? they could make your life and marriage miserable

[GaelicCharm]

there are a lot of what if in this world we only get one life so my motto is live your life

[fastnfurious]

I've had a couple of affairs, purely sexual in nature, and haven't really felt much guilt. As many of you have posted, it all depends on your moral compass.

I am a little surprised and disturbed about the lack of guilt I feel though...I thought I would have felt more. I guess sometimes it just gets to a point where you realize...you HAVE to LIVE...and enjoy LIFE. You only get one shot on this earth!

[sexytiger]

Right now I need a sex buddy... doesn't matter where he is... to my side.. behind me... under me... I DON'T CARE anymore...


Being a Tiger I am nice and cuddly on the side, behind, under.......:D

[Sunfiresix]

I have two sex buddies on my side--my right and my left--say hello hands.........

[Timberwolf]

Hello all,

for myself, i think i need more than just purely sexual. my marriage has left me bereft of the type of closeness one assumes will be part of the marriage union. so, for me, although the immediate release would be welcome, i am still after that connection that is missing from my marriage. i know it cant be quite the same as i will not leave my wife but, there does need to be a quality of friendship and romantic connection. I guess i'm still hoping SHE really is out there somewhere. oh... and i LOVE women. just needed to mention that.

thanks

[massage mike]

Right now I need a sex buddy... doesn't matter where he is... to my side.. behind me... under me... I DON'T CARE anymore...well what does a man have to do ,I,m back and I have tried but you are tough and still a challenge:knuddel:

[WandaRing]

i agree Annie but sometimes the risk is required its not too everyone taste and there a lot to think about and think about what may happen.

true but everything has to be thought out, it is so much work and a lot of misleading family and friends...I find that difficult to deal with...everyone was able to tell when I told a lie cuase I would really blush, now I'm getting good at it...and that scares me, :(

[MagicalBeing]

true but everything has to be thought out, it is so much work and a lot of misleading family and friends...I find that difficult to deal with...everyone was able to tell when I told a lie cuase I would really blush, now I'm getting good at it...and that scares me, :(


I was the same way.. i could not hide anything, but after awhile .. i really learn.. I dont think they need to know everything...

:55

[forfun1969]

there are a lot of what if in this world we only get one life so my motto is live your life

Well said Collie. It can all be very scary and dangerous. But the bottom line is that the world is still turning round and round without any regard to your fear. Life will go on and the quality of ours depends largely on nobody but yourself. You have 2 choices: 1) Do nothing and by default accept things the way they are, or 2) Take a risk and/or make a change, for better or for worse. Keep working on it. Sooner or later it's bound to end up better than you started out doesn't it? Add the time element to that: tick, tick, tick, what's it going to be, you're hair is starting to get gray, you're not as virile as you used to be, if you don't choose option 2 then you have in effect chosen option 1.

[Carlfy]

As long as you both know the "score" and make no demands on each other, can't see too much trouble in it.

[AL(m)]

Well since I would love to have a sex buudy on the side... I dont see anything wrong with it.......but am sure there willbe others that will frown on it and call me manes......~sigh~ oh well there choice........now just need to find one.....ehehehe

[bigrred30]

A buddy on the side could be fun, but then people's morals would be outta sync. I would love one just to add some spice in my sex life. But like many people have said it can go bad quickly. Fatal attraction could not only ruin your life as you know it, but could take it away completely. Just my two cents.

[Nice]

let me think...

[inquisitive]

Guess it depends on if you really want to take the chance of "breaking" the person you are with, that you said you would love and respect.. If they don't have a prob. with it, I don't see it being a prob. Maybe it is the whole "sneaking around" part that makes it wrong??

[Nice]

the chance of getting caught

[scoobertina]

depends... on the side of what?


the side of the building.. sure
the side of a mountain.. yes..

[Me]

my left side........

[Me]

my right side...........

[Me]

my front side..........

[Shawn]

Nothing is wrong with it, as long as your significant other is ont on the other side at the time

[Me]

hmmmmmmmmm

my back side........?

[OutofTownMan]

hmmmmmmmmm

my back side........?


whooooo suck me sideways!

[Me]

whooooo suck me sideways!


sideways???

hmmmmmm

that makes me think....
upside down?

[rizz]

sideways???

hmmmmmm

that makes me think....
upside down?
hmmm...upside down

[stevelooking]

depends... on the side of what?


the side of the building.. sure
the side of a mountain.. yes..


Scoob you are crazy. LOL:knuddel:

[GaelicCharm]

glad you agree forfun

[ed1975]

I can totally agree with the idea behind this thread, having a sex buddy is an amazingly tempting idea. I'm increasingly travelling alone for work and the idea of meeting someone for dinner, a chat and then maybe more in a strange city is incredibly enticing. The fear is that the person will want more or turn scary!

[Sunfiresix]

One on the side means yer in the middle and sometimes there is lots of pressure on the middle man....

[nycreader]

on the side? I have a pretty bad sense of direction, don't want to end up on the wrong side, though that might be fun too.

[Llee]

Problem is falling in love...one or the other usual does, it's hard to have intimate relations with out falling in love since most people mess around because they are unhappy at home and tend to want to leave when they find that happiness with someone else, you don't want it part time!!

[Me]

Did someone say it was wrong???

[darlingcherry]

You should talk to your husband about an open marriage. That would probably be the best thing for you.

[Kevin7284]

i carry my hand with me at all times just in case i can sneak a quickie in now and then

[WandaRing]

i carry my hand with me at all times just in case i can sneak a quickie in now and then
LMAO :lmao :lmao it is sooooo easy for guys...pull it out and go to town...gee, how unfair!

[Sunfiresix]

LMAO :lmao :lmao it is sooooo easy for guys...pull it out and go to town...gee, how unfair!


Tell that to the Town Cops:whee:

[WandaRing]

Tell that to the Town Cops:whee:
the town cops? Is that when the wife is around and you can't pull it out...:sc I wonder how many guys have gotten it caught in the zipper when trying to put it back in quickly? :lmao OUCH!

[Llee]

the town cops? Is that when the wife is around and you can't pull it out...:sc I wonder how many guys have gotten it caught in the zipper when trying to put it back in quickly? :lmao OUCH!

How did she know :sc

[Sunfiresix]

the town cops? Is that when the wife is around and you can't pull it out...:sc I wonder how many guys have gotten it caught in the zipper when trying to put it back in quickly? :lmao OUCH!

It ain't the gettin it caught as much as it is gettin it uncaught, hurts like:cry:---ooohhhhhh man:whee:

[WandaRing]

It ain't the gettin it caught as much as it is gettin it uncaught, hurts like:cry:---ooohhhhhh man:whee:
OUCH...then dont pull it out where you can get cuaght! How many times do you have to do it before you learn? :D :lmao

[WandaRing]

How did she know :sc
If I tell you the other women would get upset....

[pointofnoreturn]

I would like one on this side of me...And then one on this side...Maybe one behind me...Def one on top of me..:D

[wadeisin]

PJ great thoughts. I have liked everyone's thoughts and as for one speaking w/ experience also, it is a tough decision. Many people can be hurt, not just your spouse but children and children's children. For me, it has always been the want of having a relationship w/o having any other expectation..no "you didn't do this or that" or "why are you didn't make enough money this week" stuff. I like the relationship w/o the responsibility. It also gives me the feeling of something new and different, ie taste, feel, shape, likes and dislikes etc...
Not sure if this will help or anything but it is there. I also know that one has to look hard at the belief system they have in them personally and spiritually before that line is crossed.

[VeryBlueEyes]

just for sex can work and has

[bri_guy_mich]

If you can be open about it with each other, there shouldn't be anything wrong with it. The problem with sex on the side is when it involves lying, and hiding. Granted it sounds simple. But the open and honest part about this particular subject can be really rough.

[Timberwolf]

To cheat or not to cheat

[nycreader]

i've come to the conclusion that maybe i need someone to practice sex with, so that i can get better at it. hmm, does that only make sense to me?

[Sneaky]

Because if you are getting what you need, shouldn't want a sex buddy on the side. Right? Isn't that what they say? At least that's how it is for me.

[BadenLink]

Nothing is wrong with having one--just don't get caught! ;-)

[GaelicCharm]

thats what makes us all different we all have different views and desires

[pointofnoreturn]

Because if you are getting what you need, shouldn't want a sex buddy on the side. Right? Isn't that what they say? At least that's how it is for me. A sex buddy is for those of us who don't get what they need....:kk

[Timberwolf]

I think the problem is that the sex we are not getting from the marriage is just a small part of what we are actually missing. We hope that a sex buddy will be all that we need to persevere in our marriage. I think a lot of us realize that a "sex buddy" would serve our needs best if they were also a close friend, which is what we want from our spouse. Sex is a physical closeness and becomes fantastic when there is also an emotional closeness which is the thing we avoid when we say "no strings". So, really, arent we kind of dooming the whole thing right from the start by excluding that which is REALLY what we need? just a thought.

[fly]

I think the problem is that the sex we are not getting from the marriage is just a small part of what we are actually missing. We hope that a sex buddy will be all that we need to persevere in our marriage. I think a lot of us realize that a "sex buddy" would serve our needs best if they were also a close friend, which is what we want from our spouse. Sex is a physical closeness and becomes fantastic when there is also an emotional closeness which is the thing we avoid when we say "no strings". So, really, arent we kind of dooming the whole thing right from the start by excluding that which is REALLY what we need? just a thought.

Very insightful.........and welcome to the site!

[Timberwolf]

Thank you flybabe. It is good to be here. I sense that there are a lot of people here with my mindset and in the same position that I am in. The biggest question in my mind right now is "where to from here?"

[forfun1969]

That's kind of the way my thinking has evolved to at this point.

I think the problem is that the sex we are not getting from the marriage is just a small part of what we are actually missing. We hope that a sex buddy will be all that we need to persevere in our marriage. I think a lot of us realize that a "sex buddy" would serve our needs best if they were also a close friend, which is what we want from our spouse. Sex is a physical closeness and becomes fantastic when there is also an emotional closeness which is the thing we avoid when we say "no strings". So, really, arent we kind of dooming the whole thing right from the start by excluding that which is REALLY what we need? just a thought.

[Timberwolf]

That's kind of the way my thinking has evolved to at this point.

Isn't it funny how you come here with one set of ideas and expectations and realize that they have changed and the expectations you had at the beginning don't really apply any more? Honestly, the last thing I expected was to actually LEARN something here. Thanks everyone.

[1hotrod]

A sex buddy is for those of us who don't get what they need....:kk
The problem is they usely don't stay on the side one or both of you usely end up wanting more!

[liguy4fun]

i've come to the conclusion that maybe i need someone to practice sex with, so that i can get better at it. hmm, does that only make sense to me?

i think i understand

[liguy4fun]

true but everything has to be thought out, it is so much work and a lot of misleading family and friends...I find that difficult to deal with...everyone was able to tell when I told a lie cuase I would really blush, now I'm getting good at it...and that scares me, :(

annie you and i need to talk ;)

[AL(m)]

A SEx buddy would cure so many things if society would find it acceptable......

[alone2nyte]

Timberwolf wrote <the last thing I expected was to actually LEARN something here. Thanks everyone.>

Yea...don't you hate when that happens :-)

[forfun1969]

Timberwolf wrote <the last thing I expected was to actually LEARN something here. Thanks everyone.>

Yea...don't you hate when that happens :-)

Ya, me too. And I can't even pretend I was never naive enough to think otherwise 'cause anyone can go back and read my past posts and know where I was before in my thinking.

[fly]

Isn't it funny how you come here with one set of ideas and expectations and realize that they have changed and the expectations you had at the beginning don't really apply any more? Honestly, the last thing I expected was to actually LEARN something here. Thanks everyone.

Yeah........it's funny how this site becomes something OTHER than what it was first intended for.

[pointofnoreturn]

The problem is they usely don't stay on the side one or both of you usely end up wanting more!That's when you pull out the old..."handy dandy contract" yes that's right. For 19.99 you can have a contract on your buddy saying when where and how much you want to have sex with them. And they sign it ..The end. Oh and for a really limited time right now you can get the contract, and a set of these fabulous knives. All for the low low price of 19.99.....:whee:

[fastnfurious]

Diddo on Torin's response...

[qazed]

really... a sex contract.. isnt that kinda weird?

[WandaRing]

annie you and i need to talk ;)
about?

[WandaRing]

since someone told me about their cuddly buddies I've been wondering if a cuddle buddy would do just as well or maybe if it would better - safer...I wonder if its more about a connection and being touched by someone then it is the physical act of sex...but hey what do i know? :sc :D

[dave42]

It ain't the gettin it caught as much as it is gettin it uncaught, hurts like:cry:---ooohhhhhh man:whee:Women say "We bear the greatest pain of all because we bear children" But they will never know the greatest pain of the universe, which is zipping up your dick in a zipper!:cry:

[WandaRing]

Women say "We bear the greatest pain of all because we bear children" But they will never know the greatest pain of the universe, which is zipping up your dick in a zipper!:cry:
:cry: sounds painful but then again try carrying a growing human for 9 months then pushing a baby out of your body for hours... most guys cant even watch it on a video never mind being with their spouse throughout the ordeal ;) :na

[yaser]

since someone told me about their cuddly buddies I've been wondering if a cuddle buddy would do just as well or maybe if it would better - safer...I wonder if its more about a connection and being touched by someone then it is the physical act of sex...but hey what do i know? :sc :D
Annie ,interesting point..Is there such a place to play?

[yaser]

A sex buddy is for those of us who don't get what they need....:kk
I can be willing for that Point but I don't know the what I am going to to do..Is it a heavy duty?

[WandaRing]

Annie ,interesting point..Is there such a place to play?
It's not playing around, it's snuggling up with someone you want to be with ---a friend, no sex involved, someone just to be with, relax, chill, be yourself, no pressures, just being together.

[yaser]

It's not playing around, it's snuggling up with someone you want to be with ---a friend, no sex involved, someone just to be with, relax, chill, be yourself, no pressures, just being together.
Annie now I understand what you want..I am afraid it may go to sex after.

[WandaRing]

Annie now I understand what you want..I am afraid it may go to sex after.
no sex at all, your right it will ruin things, it's just friends, if you have sex then its something else other then just cuddle buddies, you need to choose carefully, not someone you feel sexually attracted to

[trausersnake]

To think of your sexual desires as measured and restrained to me is wrong. If you need more that what you have, get it and get it fast. I understand the terms of marriage and mine is like yours unfullfilled. My thoughts would be to experience the pleasures you need and worry about the other stuff later. If your partner in life is not cutting it, but you want to stay together, find a good fuckfriend.

[Micwar]

I'm gamed for a buddy on the side...just as long as she understands that when she says give me 9 inches and make it hurt...I do it 3 times and pinch her really hard

[qazed]

no sex at all, your right it will ruin things, it's just friends, if you have sex then its something else other then just cuddle buddies, you need to choose carefully, not someone you feel sexually attracted to

Interesting idea... very interesting.

[WandaRing]

To think of your sexual desires as measured and restrained to me is wrong. If you need more that what you have, get it and get it fast. I understand the terms of marriage and mine is like yours unfullfilled. My thoughts would be to experience the pleasures you need and worry about the other stuff later. If your partner in life is not cutting it, but you want to stay together, find a good fuckfriend.
a good fuckfriend as in FWB (friends with benefits) or a FB (fuck buddy) are hard to find, so many rules and things to watch out for and not to say a lot of sneaking around and hiding things...oh and did I meantion the guilt and other feelings that come with it? It's not always that easy and it should take a lot of thinking before you go for it. :D

[WandaRing]

Interesting idea... very interesting.
yes has me wondering what I am really looking for :sc

[UltimateNaneki]

Well I have a sex buddy. Its actually really cool. We meet once a month and just have fun. We don't hurt anyone and we both have fun. I figure no harm = no foul!

[Fred59]

I thought maybe joining this group that I could perhaps find an 'affair'! At least online.

[qazed]

Well I have a sex buddy. Its actually really cool. We meet once a month and just have fun. We don't hurt anyone and we both have fun. I figure no harm = no foul!

Does he live in Texas?

[UltimateNaneki]

Does he live in Texas?

No he doesn't qazed...that would start costing a little too much for :sex.

[Zarret]

I thought maybe joining this group that I could perhaps find an 'affair'! At least online.

Could be....you never know. Welcome to the site Fred :wa:

[norfolkguy31]

Friends with benefits are good as long the rules are followed. If you want it truely to work, and have no one get hurt. Things need to be talked about to make sure you are both on the same page prior to engaging in anything. Once it is done there is no taking it back.

[alone2nyte]

Annie, I think your cuddle buddy idea is great, and I can see it happening naturally so to speak among friends. Not that your placing an advertisement here, but meeting someone online I think it would be close to impossible to navigate that.

[TilersCut]

?

[SA007]

really... a sex contract.. isnt that kinda weird?


check out this youtube video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-gu6s0eGOk

:D

[marriedwomanchaser]

I often find myself wondering why affairs ae wrong...I have been married for 10 years and have over the past year started intruducing new things like toys and lotions, etc...But now I am wanting more...like somebody on the side..no strings attached, no emotional attachment, just sex. Just something different every once in a while. Why is it wrong to wonder outside your marriage or relationship to satisfy your sexual needs?? Especially if you are not looking for anything else but sex?

:whee:I cant say as I have ever found anything wrong with that, truth is though you have to be honest with yourself, and realize that if it is not something that is ok with your present partner, there will come a time when you will have you will have to come clean. Usually not at a convenient time either.:):)

[private beaches]

check out this youtube video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-gu6s0eGOk

:D

LOL: Article 17 "my client knows EXACTLY what youre talking about"

"glad that little formality is out of the way"

Thanks SA

[TilersCut]

I don't think Torin's detractors quite understand what she is suggesting. Chasing a firefighter or a swimsuit model for the sake of chasing them is immaturity - and immature people will NEVER be happy in marriage. But for couples to occasionally engage in extramarital sex - consensually - that is something completely different. It may be the smartest, most mature thing they can do. And looks (eg body perfect) have nothing to do with it.

Please don't get me wrong - I firmly believe that monogamy is the highest goal for any society. And I think that serial monogamy is a lousy idea - constantly marrying and divorcing uses up people, wastes resources, and is just plain idiotic. But both men and women have to be honest with each other - monogamy is not easy, and the evolution of our species probably made it that way. Otherwise, we would stay in love and in lust with the same person for an entire lifetime. Like Penquins, who are arguably the most monogamous species on the planet.

But human beings are not that way - and never have been. Whether Catholic priests or New York governors, we all stray - frequently in mind, and often in body. That's just evolution's way of refreshing the gene pool. We may not be conscious of that sexual reality, and we may use religion to try to deny it. But infidelity has been bred into us over millions of years. It is a natural part of being human. It is a powerful force that compels men to spread seed, and women to seek better donors.

Don't believe me? Just look at chimpanzees. They stray all the time, but tend to stick with the same mate for life. And female chimps are WORSE than the males. NEWSFLASH: We have 95% genetic commonality with chimpanzees.

OK, I'll be even more provocative (what the hell, that's what I get paid to do). Let's all think back to the last time we masturbated. Now, let's be collectively honest - how many of us were fantasizing about our spouses at the time? Was it her that was wearing the scrumptious edible thong in that sleazy seaside hotel room? Was it his hands and feet that were tied to the French Provincial bedposts? Or was it someone else - our fantasy paramour, writhing beneath us, begging to be spanked, screaming out our names at the moment of ecstasy?

Come on, be honest! Respective of gender, you whacked and fingered to the image of your brother-in-law, your wife's maid of honor, Tiger Woods, or the last 19 year old who bagged your groceries. Fess up!

[For the longest time, I have been fictionally screwing the redheaded doctor on House. That's the one Dr. House secretly wants to bone, the one who did the Aussie doctor in a chemically-inspired fit of passion. I recently admitted that to my wife - and I came home last night to a redhead. Oh, lucky me!]

So I'll add this to Torin's simple yet eloquent suggestion: Human beings are a work in progress - physically, mentally, emotionally, sexually. If we acted more in accordance with who we really are, and how we actually evolved - we might find our marriages to be happier, healthier, and longer-lasting. Not to mention less stressful! :sex

[marriedwomanchaser]

hopefully your sex buddy as you call it relates to you better than your present mate does.

[TilersCut]

I am in a bad relationship which, for some very good reasons i cannot leave. so i sit here, day after day, watching my life dither away while thinking of what could have been if only...

Life's way to short for that kind of despair, Timber. For crying out loud...go get laid!

[marriedwomanchaser]

Life's way to short for that kind of despair, Timber. For crying out loud...go get laid!

right you are.

[TheTurtle]

check out this youtube video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-gu6s0eGOk

:D

OMG! Hilarious! :lmao

[malenurse08]

I often find myself wondering why affairs ae wrong...I have been married for 10 years and have over the past year started intruducing new things like toys and lotions, etc...But now I am wanting more...like somebody on the side..no strings attached, no emotional attachment, just sex. Just something different every once in a while. Why is it wrong to wonder outside your marriage or relationship to satisfy your sexual needs?? Especially if you are not looking for anything else but sex?


Affairs hurt and leave deep scars. My wife had an affair with my step dad which destroyed me and has destroyed my family. It is only by the grace of Christ that our marriage survived.

[gino60914]

i would have to agree with bob I went through an 8 year affair or" fuck buddy" we both said it was just for sex we both had familys it it worked for a while untill I got the phone call the she told her husband about us and she wanted a divorce then it got ugly real ugly out of no where

[TilersCut]

I often find myself wondering why affairs ae wrong...I have been married for 10 years and have over the past year started intruducing new things like toys and lotions, etc...But now I am wanting more...like somebody on the side..no strings attached, no emotional attachment, just sex. Just something different every once in a while. Why is it wrong to wonder outside your marriage or relationship to satisfy your sexual needs?? Especially if you are not looking for anything else but sex?

Partygal - Any possibility that you could talk to your husband in earnest about this? Tell him you want to explore sex with others, but in a way that keeps your marriage intact? Then you have to be prepared for the obvious - if he surprises you by answering yes, are you prepared to see him with another woman?

[trausersnake]

Wonderful post and a great perspective on life. I think yu have a great marriage and I know for a fact its better than most. Looking for more posts from you and your wife. Adios.
I don't think Torin's detractors quite understand what she is suggesting. Chasing a firefighter or a swimsuit model for the sake of chasing them is immaturity - and immature people will NEVER be happy in marriage. But for couples to occasionally engage in extramarital sex - consensually - that is something completely different. It may be the smartest, most mature thing they can do. And looks (eg body perfect) have nothing to do with it.

Please don't get me wrong - I firmly believe that monogamy is the highest goal for any society. And I think that serial monogamy is a lousy idea - constantly marrying and divorcing uses up people, wastes resources, and is just plain idiotic. But both men and women have to be honest with each other - monogamy is not easy, and the evolution of our species probably made it that way. Otherwise, we would stay in love and in lust with the same person for an entire lifetime. Like Penquins, who are arguably the most monogamous species on the planet.

But human beings are not that way - and never have been. Whether Catholic priests or New York governors, we all stray - frequently in mind, and often in body. That's just evolution's way of refreshing the gene pool. We may not be conscious of that sexual reality, and we may use religion to try to deny it. But infidelity has been bred into us over millions of years. It is a natural part of being human. It is a powerful force that compels men to spread seed, and women to seek better donors.

Don't believe me? Just look at chimpanzees. They stray all the time, but tend to stick with the same mate for life. And female chimps are WORSE than the males. NEWSFLASH: We have 95% genetic commonality with chimpanzees.

OK, I'll be even more provocative (what the hell, that's what I get paid to do). Let's all think back to the last time we masturbated. Now, let's be collectively honest - how many of us were fantasizing about our spouses at the time? Was it her that was wearing the scrumptious edible thong in that sleazy seaside hotel room? Was it his hands and feet that were tied to the French Provincial bedposts? Or was it someone else - our fantasy paramour, writhing beneath us, begging to be spanked, screaming out our names at the moment of ecstasy?

Come on, be honest! Respective of gender, you whacked and fingered to the image of your brother-in-law, your wife's maid of honor, Tiger Woods, or the last 19 year old who bagged your groceries. Fess up!

[For the longest time, I have been fictionally screwing the redheaded doctor on House. That's the one Dr. House secretly wants to bone, the one who did the Aussie doctor in a chemically-inspired fit of passion. I recently admitted that to my wife - and I came home last night to a redhead. Oh, lucky me!]

So I'll add this to Torin's simple yet eloquent suggestion: Human beings are a work in progress - physically, mentally, emotionally, sexually. If we acted more in accordance with who we really are, and how we actually evolved - we might find our marriages to be happier, healthier, and longer-lasting. Not to mention less stressful! :sex

[laineycali]

wow you all say so much so well.........i agree with all your points.. i too have done it.. there are other reasons tho for me.. as in my marriage is over we are just agreed to stay together till the kids become old enough ..and i can get myself more independent fincancially so we can afford two homes. etc... ..so when i went and foun someone else.. (not on purpose but ..) it felt justified.. eventually tho.. it still was too difficult.. i think the fuck buddy .. works.. as long as u can stay open with the buddy .. far as a marriage where u want to be open .. i dont think that every works..... the hurt etc.. it comes eventually at least on one side or the other..and causes too much trouble...

[trausersnake]

You are 100% right, life passes by quickly. But just going out and getting laid is not an easy thing to do. First, I am married, not mark of death, second i ususally meet women who would have me, but 100%. I am not going to break up my family. This is a problem.

Life's way to short for that kind of despair, Timber. For crying out loud...go get laid!

[UltimateNaneki]

Trausersnake....can you be my sex buddy?? :)

[marriedwomanchaser]

I have had two chances at the sex buddy think, one went well and one she found out about,

[mark_66]

:blowjob::blowjob:I agree with you Coderunner, I need some good outside sex because mine has lost it's spark. No strings attached.:blowjob:

Katie

[mark_66]

Life is more than living within the norms established by society but to experience life to its fullest and perhaps marriage does not lend itself to that kind of adventure. I married and though I still love the lady I wonder why. Perhaps an affair adds the element that is missing or perhaps its merely a substitute for what truly ails me. I suppose sex outside the marriage may not be the cure-all for what ails so many of us but it certainly beats sollecting stamps lol.

[northernvam]

really... a sex contract.. isnt that kinda weird?

Actually, I don't think it's weird to think about relationships as "unwritten contracts". After all, what is a relationship (business, personal, professional, etc.) but just an agreement between to or more people. And in my mind a contract is nothing more that a formal word for an agreement.

With relationships, I think the agreement is being negotiated on an ongoing basis, where slight modifications are made daily ...

[bojarker]

I think it doesn't as long as both parties can agree that it is sex only. My wife and I don't have sex much anymore and there are times I could really use some on the side. I guess that's one of the reasons I've been searching google for new sites like this one to join.:sc

[GSDman]

I don't see anything wrong with it, as long you both have the same expectations. I would never have sex with a woman I didn't "know"

I guess I am bucking the trend here, but sex for me is very intimate and if I didn't feel genuine affection or bond to the person, how could I ever expect to realize the full potential of a sexual relationship ?

Having said that, "if" I had a girlfriend on the side, and she wanted to violate me every time we saw each other, I probably wouldn't put up too much of a struggle :sex

[MCat]

I don't see anything wrong with it, as long you both have the same expectations. I would never have sex with a woman I didn't "know"

I guess I am bucking the trend here, but sex for me is very intimate and if I didn't feel genuine affection or bond to the person, how could I ever expect to realize the full potential of a sexual relationship ?

Having said that, "if" I had a girlfriend on the side, and she wanted to violate me every time we saw each other, I probably wouldn't put up too much of a struggle :sex

You make this all sound so romantic when you use words like violate...lol

[househub]

a sex buddy on the side used to be called a long term affair, and there are many dangerous consequences, call it waht it is

[Gmeabrk]

Sexual relationships outside the marriage are a Western no-no. Eastern cultures used to accept them quite readily. As long as it's sex with a partner that doesn't want to harm me or my family, I say let's get hot and sweaty. Also, as Alan Alda said, never have an affair with someone who has less to lose than you.

[bojarker]

I see you are a Mash van as well. Thank you for the advice!

[Krystal]

GSD put it quite...um...eloquently, lol....however, he's right. I don't see anything wrong with it either, especially with a person you 'know' and like. Just don't get caught....since people get hurt then....don't fall in love, since people get hurt there too...and always live with the expectation that the other person can change their mind and want something else, and the relationship will end...it makes it easier to deal with when it finally happens.


I don't see anything wrong with it, as long you both have the same expectations. I would never have sex with a woman I didn't "know"

I guess I am bucking the trend here, but sex for me is very intimate and if I didn't feel genuine affection or bond to the person, how could I ever expect to realize the full potential of a sexual relationship ?

Having said that, "if" I had a girlfriend on the side, and she wanted to violate me every time we saw each other, I probably wouldn't put up too much of a struggle :sex

[bojarker]

I think you both need to agree on the ground rules and if you can accomplish that one, it can be a fun time for both without having the hurt.

[eddietowndiamond]

KBug...go for it but be careful...

[marriedwomanchaser]

I think that every relationship comes to a time when one or the other does have someone else at least for a little while

[Sunfiresix]

I have never been one to wander--but as time goes on it wouldn't be bad to have someone that wanted to share an intimate physical relationship, some point in time you need that release.

[bojarker]

I think you are right. Many times the other partner never knows.

[bojarker]

I was born not rich or handsome. I just have to work at it! LOL

[GSDman]

GSD put it quite...um...eloquently, lol....however, he's right. I don't see anything wrong with it either, especially with a person you 'know' and like. Just don't get caught....since people get hurt then....don't fall in love, since people get hurt there too...and always live with the expectation that the other person can change their mind and want something else, and the relationship will end...it makes it easier to deal with when it finally happens.

I think the "humor" portion of this related to me open-ness in the bedroom. If I am being intimate with someone, I want every part of our sexual experience to be open..... maybe "violate" wasn't a good choice of words... :)

[thebouncer]

Affairs can be fun....but can quickly go wrong....it may be just sex to start with but when the other person starts saying that they are maddly in love with you and want you more and more...it can take a dive....trust me I know.

Just be careful before you make that choice.
amen to that

[swellnow]

fantasies are wonderful -- if kept in your head
can spice up your life

be careful what you wish for
you may get it

[woodsman8]

fantasies are wonderful -- if kept in your head
can spice up your life

be careful what you wish for
you may get it
and a lot more

[athlon_man]

Are you asking if it is morally wrong? That is up to you, and your specific beliefs.

I personally believe that while monogamy is a beautiful theory, in the real world, its not practical. I *know* that I will lust after others, as will my husband... and I am okay with that. Because I love him, and he loves me but we don't OWN each other. He is allowed his private thoughts and actions, just as I am. Our agreement is simply that if one of us wants to have sex with another (or bring another person into our bed) that we will talk about it first... just for the sake of honesty.

It's a big decision, and one you can't take back. Good luck, hon! (((HUGS)))

I agree with you Torin mostly, but - what if that honesty backfires? wouldn't it be better one does it outside and make sure you don't bring it home?
Just like what happens in vegas ...
I read somewhere it is called a 'social monogamy' marriage in a social sense but not in biological sense.
i have told my wife often that as long as she doesn't bring it home - i am ok with it.

[TilersCut]

fantasies are wonderful -- if kept in your head
can spice up your life

Now that must be the voice of experience. Good posting

[trucker200719]

:sexwell if u r to have a sex buddy i guess u need to understand the rules and if one of u wants to change them then u should allow the other to opt out b4 it goes to the next level:inlve

[bojarker]

thanks for the continuing notes and thoughts on this subject. It has given me a lot to think about!

[Noflyzone]

hard question to answer ... in a perfect marrage would would not want to cheat

but then its not the sex its the lieing I dont like .....

[shithead]

I have a sex buddy on the side, but the air keeps oozing out of her.

[Krystal]

I have a sex buddy on the side, but the air keeps oozing out of her.

LOL, we'll take up a collection....and get you some duct tape.

[flake68]

I have a sex buddy on the side, but the air keeps oozing out of her.

Heard fix-a-flat was good for that problem......

[Jay_dad01]

bet she finishes the same time u do tho

[Atrebla Rose]

well if I am going to have a buddy on the side,,,,he sure isnt going to be on the side..............on top!!! or best of all beneath............even behind,,,,but from the side just sounds very painful!

[scott2006]

well if I am going to have a buddy on the side,,,,he sure isnt going to be on the side..............on top!!! or best of all beneath............even behind,,,,but from the side just sounds very painful!


it can be good, not the most energetic, but usually feels nice and tight that way.. Rose, maybe we should talk ;-))

[Nomad(m)]

Very well said. I wish the rest of society could read this, and understand as we on M&F do.

I don't think Torin's detractors quite understand what she is suggesting. Chasing a firefighter or a swimsuit model for the sake of chasing them is immaturity - and immature people will NEVER be happy in marriage. But for couples to occasionally engage in extramarital sex - consensually - that is something completely different. It may be the smartest, most mature thing they can do. And looks (eg body perfect) have nothing to do with it.

Please don't get me wrong - I firmly believe that monogamy is the highest goal for any society. And I think that serial monogamy is a lousy idea - constantly marrying and divorcing uses up people, wastes resources, and is just plain idiotic. But both men and women have to be honest with each other - monogamy is not easy, and the evolution of our species probably made it that way. Otherwise, we would stay in love and in lust with the same person for an entire lifetime. Like Penquins, who are arguably the most monogamous species on the planet.

But human beings are not that way - and never have been. Whether Catholic priests or New York governors, we all stray - frequently in mind, and often in body. That's just evolution's way of refreshing the gene pool. We may not be conscious of that sexual reality, and we may use religion to try to deny it. But infidelity has been bred into us over millions of years. It is a natural part of being human. It is a powerful force that compels men to spread seed, and women to seek better donors.

Don't believe me? Just look at chimpanzees. They stray all the time, but tend to stick with the same mate for life. And female chimps are WORSE than the males. NEWSFLASH: We have 95% genetic commonality with chimpanzees.

OK, I'll be even more provocative (what the hell, that's what I get paid to do). Let's all think back to the last time we masturbated. Now, let's be collectively honest - how many of us were fantasizing about our spouses at the time? Was it her that was wearing the scrumptious edible thong in that sleazy seaside hotel room? Was it his hands and feet that were tied to the French Provincial bedposts? Or was it someone else - our fantasy paramour, writhing beneath us, begging to be spanked, screaming out our names at the moment of ecstasy?

Come on, be honest! Respective of gender, you whacked and fingered to the image of your brother-in-law, your wife's maid of honor, Tiger Woods, or the last 19 year old who bagged your groceries. Fess up!

[For the longest time, I have been fictionally screwing the redheaded doctor on House. That's the one Dr. House secretly wants to bone, the one who did the Aussie doctor in a chemically-inspired fit of passion. I recently admitted that to my wife - and I came home last night to a redhead. Oh, lucky me!]

So I'll add this to Torin's simple yet eloquent suggestion: Human beings are a work in progress - physically, mentally, emotionally, sexually. If we acted more in accordance with who we really are, and how we actually evolved - we might find our marriages to be happier, healthier, and longer-lasting. Not to mention less stressful! :sex

[dixiechiknga]

Right now my only sex buddy is Mr. Buzzzz:di

[forfun1969]

Right now my only sex buddy is Mr. Buzzzz:di


:spm forfun heads over to change his M&F user name to Mr. Buzzzz :spm

[scott2006]

Right now my only sex buddy is Mr. Buzzzz:di

that sucks, and not even in the good way.... my buddy has 5 fingers!


I think we could help each other ;-)

[athlon_man]

Let's be real.
Nobody is perfect. Some of you have the illusion that your spouse is the "only one". but you all know deep down inside that there may be that someone better than your spouse. But how do you deal with it?
You can go out look for someone better (starts with flirting) -- which eventually leads to the break-up in your current relationship. For those of you. Sex buddy is a dangerous thing.

Many of us acknowledge the imperfections of our relationships and try to fill in the void with other activities -- sports, friends, hobbies, or sex buddies. These other things will not fix the fundamental problem that might exist in your relationship, but they often alleviate the negative tensions you build up between you two (it worked for me). If you are doing it just to fill that physical part of the void, the chances are you may be able to maintain sex buddy or even sex buddies.

However, we got this thing called feelings.... physical intimacy tends to develop into emotional one. So I wouldn't recommend any long-term one. If both parties involved in this physical intimacy understands this and set appropriate boundaries and rules. it might work in the long run as well.

But again, we are not that smart when dealing with our own emotional issues...

[TilersCut]

Let's be real. Many of us acknowledge the imperfections of our relationships and try to fill in the void with other activities -- sports, friends, hobbies...

I like some of your points, Athlon. But I take exception with that that one. You see, I love my work, I like being with my friends, I tune into sports, and I engage in hobbies - because these things complete me, and not because they fill in relationship voids. When the Sox beat the Yanks last night in the rubber match of the opening series, it wasn't enmity at my wife that made me jump into the air. It was just my love for baseball. And for Boston.

We are best within our relationships - when our relationships are balanced with the other things that give life meaning.

[bojarker]

Hi Alberta Rose,

If you like it on top that's fine with me! Havea great day!

[pointofnoreturn]

nothing wrong with it if you can handle it. Me...I want one on each side....:D

[cyclops]

nothing wrong with it if you can handle it. Me...I want one on each side....:D

Baggsy the left :lf

[Atrebla Rose]

Hi Alberta Rose,

If you like it on top that's fine with me! Havea great day!

Welcome to the site and a cowgirl knows how to hang on bare back as well, so on top is the bestest!!! Have a great time and look forward to chatting with you again.....

[AL(m)]

nothing worng... with having one.... its more a problem finding one.......:sc

[scoobertina]

on the side of what?

a building?
a boat?
a dock?
hmm.....

on the side of a mountain...
yumm...

nothing wrong with any of that...

how about beside a lake?

[AL(m)]

Hmm my dear I would take you on the side of anything you like.......ehehehehehe:di


on the side of what?

a building?
a boat?
a dock?
hmm.....

on the side of a mountain...
yumm...

nothing wrong with any of that...

how about beside a lake?

[marriedwomanchaser]

A sex buddy on the side would be great right now. Just the thought of chasing her around the lake front appeals to my senses right now.

[ohreally?]

it works perfectly for me. I adore both of the old farts.

[mark_66]

how about on a beach, the fire, the blanket, the wine the moonlight?\

[mark_66]

locale always makes it special but the really special element are the folks involved mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

[mark_66]

ok perhaps the fire is not required a flashlight works lol

[WandaRing]

:srybut for me sex buddies doesn’t work out very well. I want to know a bit about this person, like why this person is looking for someone else to “spend time” with. I want at least a small connection to this person, like their name! I do not want to just jump into bed and then forget this person even exists five minutes after sharing my body with them. I just can't be that perosn that turns feelings off and on...I'm not looking to fall in love, but I dont want to be some creep ethier.

[mark_66]

I agree, it has to be about more then simply jumping into bed, I much prefer an intimacy with sex that only comes through friendship and respect and understanding. Then it becomes intimate, intense and passionate

[Krystal]

I agree, it has to be about more then simply jumping into bed, I much prefer an intimacy with sex that only comes through friendship and respect and understanding. Then it becomes intimate, intense and passionate

Well said. Friends first.....all the other good stuff later.

[mark_66]

oh and by the way realy like the av Anniegee lol

[mark_66]

Friends that become lovers also - a near perfect combination

[mark_66]

I tried responding by email apparently I need more posts lol, I am 49 for a couple more months, I live outside Richmond, VA and travel extensively. i travel faily often to NJ around Tinton Falls and Eatontown.

[fever]

I can't imagine sex without some emotional connection, so I'd be doomed before I even got started. There's no such thing as "just sex" for me.

[mark_66]

Well I think the operative term is sex, I think true intimacy must come with an emotional attachment, then its making love to someone special - a friend, a lover and not just a sexual encounter

[laineycali]

how about on a beach, the fire, the blanket, the wine the moonlight?\
OOO nice mark.. nice

[fever]

Well I think the operative term is sex, I think true intimacy must come with an emotional attachment, then its making love to someone special - a friend, a lover and not just a sexual encounter

so is there true intimacy with a friend?

[laineycali]

I can't imagine sex without some emotional connection, so I'd be doomed before I even got started. There's no such thing as "just sex" for me.


i kinda think the 'emotional connection' can be the chemestry ..and therefore u can maybe .. enjoy a relationship like that ...as in .. a friendship ..because u have to u kno . enjoy the persons company to even want to hav sex with em.. so .. that is a sort of emotion thing.. ..so .. i guess im sayin i kinda agree.......in a dizzy blond way LOL...

[fever]

lol...doesn't matter how you agree. there needs to be some emotional connection for the sex to mean something...IMHO

[laineycali]

no i dea what imho is

[fever]

in my humble opinion....which is typically not so humble, but that's just me!

[sweetandsourmama]

Thanxs your answer really helped me out a lot.

[sweetandsourmama]

Thanxs your answer really helped me out a lot.

[Nomad(m)]

I think if its just sex that is one thing. In the latest poll about forgiving your SO for an affair, it seems that once it becomes emotional, its much more meaningful, than just sex on the side. If you can separate the two, more power too you. If not, well....

[mark_66]

My opinion yes there is - I think a real friendship is uncondtional - nothing to prove - just be yourself - no reprecussions. I also think in that kind of environment the two will find it easier to share, to please - to enjoy another level of friendship.

[mark_66]

Though I think I put a different connotation on the term "Friendship" then most folks, I think I would call most as acquaintenances rather than friends - so friends is something pretty special to me

[mark_66]

so how does the majority identify a friendship?

[Noflyzone]

I think I would love a long term sex buddy .. one nighters are getting old ..
there is a girl at work that flirts with me and knows I am married ..
she is the polar opposite of my wife ... Cute , friendly , nice , helpfull ,
one day she got so close to me I thought she was going to kiss me
I was so dizzy I thought I was going to faint .. if she kissed me that would be it
for my marrage .. I would fall to fast for her.. so do I stay away or give up
everything for love .. my wife has a jeckel/hide personality that is ruining our
family .. so dont I deserve happieness

[dave42]

I think I would love a long term sex buddy .. one nighters are getting old ..
there is a girl at work that flirts with me and knows I am married ..
she is the polar opposite of my wife ... Cute , friendly , nice , helpfull ,
one day she got so close to me I thought she was going to kiss me
I was so dizzy I thought I was going to faint .. if she kissed me that would be it
for my marrage .. I would fall to fast for her.. so do I stay away or give up
everything for love .. my wife has a jeckel/hide personality that is ruining our
family .. so dont I deserve happienessMaybe your wife is Bi-polar? Does she have bad PMS? She could have psychological or medical condition. Maybe you should try exploring your options before bailing out?

[mark_66]

Consider perhaps the wife knows about the one nightstands and responds accordingly?

Perhaps she is as at least as unhappy as you are in the marriage and feels trapped with no escape - especially if childeren are involved since she will probably be the parent responsible for their health and welfare as you go off to a new life?

[mark_66]

Sometimes we can not see the forest for the trees - point is - often we only see our own unhappiness, unfullfilled desires and needs and fail to see or understand our partners position.

[Jay_dad01]

i've never had a sex buddy it's an interesting idea not sure how it would work tho

[laineycali]

Maybe your wife is Bi-polar? Does she have bad PMS? She could have psychological or medical condition. Maybe you should try exploring your options before bailing out?


good points dave... she may very well need someone to see she needs help......and i dont mean looney bin . just like dave said there are treatable (sp?) issues that can come along ...and be helped or even stopped!!! good luck!

[Good_Lad]

I would need some kind of emotional connection. The one night stands aren't all they're cracked up to be.

[OnceAKing]

I can't imagine sex without some emotional connection, so I'd be doomed before I even got started. There's no such thing as "just sex" for me.

I think you're right on fever. I agree full heartedly! I've wished it wasn't so several times but....

OAK

[Me]

I like him better on his back or on top of me... just sayin ;)

[fever]

I think you're right on fever. I agree full heartedly! I've wished it wasn't so several times but....

OAK

I hear that...I'm not saying I wouldn't love "just sex" -- only that it's not in my repitore.

[hereiam66]

Partygal,

I need to find someone like you. I have had the exact same questions the past few months. I love my wife and my family, but we have different sexual drives and interests. I would love to have a female friend (acquiantance?) with similar sexual interests that wanted nothing more than a sexual friendship. But how in the world does that get set up?

[Constance]

I guess it would really be what you could live with. My luck, I would find somebody and it that person would not leave it there. I mean he would call my husband or someone in my family. I have seen it happen to a person. You should really know who you sleep with. It could come back to haunt you.

[Good_Lad]

I like him better on his back or on top of me... just sayin ;)

Please, just say some more!

[Good_Lad]

I guess it would really be what you could live with. My luck, I would find somebody and it that person would not leave it there. I mean he would call my husband or someone in my family. I have seen it happen to a person. You should really know who you sleep with. It could come back to haunt you.

You are so right. I've had opportunities for affairs but didn't because I was worried it would turn into a "Fatal Attraction" scenario.

[Gilliganstranded]

Nothing, as long as you don't get caught. Usually though, one enters this kind of thing as sex only...but in most cases 'feelings' creep up and it turns in to being something more than sex.

If you are speaking from experience is this to say that you wish you hadn't ventured into unchartered waters?

[dave42]

I had a sex buddy a couple of years ago and I miss her so badly! I was talking to a woman who was working the register at a building supply store today who looked like her. So many things went through the back of my mind. I thought of my friend who is far away in another state.
It was hard not to fall in love, because eventually I had to go back to reality and I did not want to risk hurting her because I know she was very attached to me. We live in different cities so that adds to the complexity of things. It is crazy, Like I am in denial or something.

[medic]

Well a sex buddy might be ok. Problem is that sex always leads to emotional ties.

[laineycali]

I had a sex buddy a couple of years ago and I miss her so badly! I was talking to a woman who was working the register at a building supply store today who looked like her. So many things went through the back of my mind. I thought of my friend who is far away in another state.
It was hard not to fall in love, because eventually I had to go back to reality and I did not want to risk hurting her because I know she was very attached to me. We live in different cities so that adds to the complexity of things. It is crazy, Like I am in denial or something.


Dave if you cant give back what you thinks she wants ur right to stay away as hard as it is>>but you reminded me of my last relationship and how i still often think of him.. miss him ... and long for all the great times and sex we had....he and i are 20 min apart but it got difficult and we never talk now... i'd give so so SOOOO much to kno if he missed me too...... point is.. if ur onlly afriad to talk to her again for fear of rejection... dont be u never know until u do and the worst that can happen is ur back to where u are right now....BUT if its too hot .. too close.. and u will string her along again cause you dont feel the same.. then dont open that wound on her end again..........sorry that may not help at all...:sc

[laineycali]

Well a sex buddy might be ok. Problem is that sex always leads to emotional ties.


i disagree..it can be done... with out ties...

[salvatore_50]

Nothing wrong, I would love to have a sex buddy.. any one in S'toon sk looking for a sex buddy?

[Gilliganstranded]

Nothing wrong, I would love to have a sex buddy.. any one in S'toon sk looking for a sex buddy?

No but perhaps you travel a lot.

[phantomkreeper]

I tend to have to be emotionally attracted as well. Must be able to read her every move and react to it tell her about it. I must be into the person as a person and the biggest thing that turns me on is for her be real to herself.

[anyotherjoe2]

i think it is up to the person themselves to decide if its right or wrong, but i would agree, i find it hard personnaly not to have feelings creep up if it is anything longer than a one night or a one weekend thing...once it becomes a repeating diversion, then a sense of couple begins.. and being tied to one while wanting to be with another..is hard, so i think as long as emotion doesnt get fixed to the equation, then i guess it is a possibility. However if you could talk to and gain acceptance from your partner and change your relationship to an open one then nothing would really be wrong with it.

[softrosepetal]

I would love to have a friend on the side.... but how can you get away from a husband that watches you breath and 3 children?

[hereiam66]

I would love to have a friend on the side.... but how can you get away from a husband that watches you breath and 3 children?
I think it starts by getting involved in activities that do not include your family. Once your husband accepts the fact that you are gone a certain amount of time, then use some of that time for your special "friend". I know with a family it may be almost impossible. Seems to be for me.

I haven't had an affair, but I've done a lot of thinking - and am certainly open to the idea. I haven't met someone with that same interest (I'm not looking for emotional ties), and I don't have a lot of time to invest into the affair, or meeting someone interesting. Maybe some day............................maybe here......................you never know...................

[mrbillcollecta]

The only thing wrong about it is that if u get caught you could lose the farm.

[hereiam66]

I would love to have a friend on the side.... but how can you get away from a husband that watches you breath and 3 children?
Come visit a long lost, deathly sick relative in Kansas!

I'll pick you up at the airport

:sng

[tyger river]

Such an interesting thought!! A sex buddy. Wouldn't that be nice?

[Good_Lad]

That would be nice, but I have no free time as it is. She is always working from home now with her job.

[Gilliganstranded]

Easier said then done, like trying to pin jello to the wall.

[mark_66]

sex buddies should be your best friend that includes intimacy that reinforces the friendship.

[mark_66]

any ladies need a best friend with benefits? lol

[Iwantutowantme]

Nothing

[Agile neurons]

…it is really hard to find a person who just wants to have sex and its even harder to have sex without a connection, it feels empty and unfulfilled.

Sex with a connection becomes awkward and possibly unjustifiable when it is approached through the conventional social filter that implies 'love' can only be a singular and indivisible expression when transmitted through sexual bonding.

I am selective depending on the requirement (for example, in some cases expressions of sexual love are inappropriate depending on the circumstance or the individual [children, for example]) but I view love as a mesh, not a singular event that displaces itself as it is applied in various circumstances.

The real issue is how we relate to one another through the diversity of awkward emotions that can be evoked and displayed (for example, jealousy, fear, vulnerability and so on) due to exposure from socially questionable arrangements.

Results based on conditioned response mechanisms often produce very logical outcomes. Not necessarily correct or even useful outcomes just logical since human interaction can be rather predictable and logarithmic.

[fredgoodgreen]

nothing wrong with it

[Gilliganstranded]

If anyone has made this sex on the side workable and would share their knowledge to those who don't know the way, bring it on.

[Ally]

I had a sex buddy back in university. We were both single but very good friends. We were attracted to each other but knew we wouldn't work in a relationship. So we decided to be sex buddies. It surprisingly worked out REALLy well. After a night at the bar, we would sometimes make booty calls if we didn't hook up that night. He would knock on my window at 3 am, would be drunk and i would invite him in. Good times. We still keep in contact. He got really drunk at my wedding though. I was worried he would start flirting, or would say something to my hubby. Phew!

[mark_66]

Actualy i find a lot that is "RIGHT" with having a sex buddy

[Ally]

Actualy i find a lot that is "RIGHT" with having a sex buddy

I agree with you Mark. I have had an affair before and it actually spiced up my sex life with my husband. I was really surprised by it. I guess because I was feeling sexy from being with someone else, it made me feel sexy at home too. Go figure.

[Sweetdreams069]

I agree with you Mark. I have had an affair before and it actually spiced up my sex life with my husband. I was really surprised by it. I guess because I was feeling sexy from being with someone else, it made me feel sexy at home too. Go figure.

Agreed. It definitely does a lot for your self esteem and does improve your sex life overall. :ok