The Worst Things To Say To A Women

[Penny]

I will start it with.


Never say thank you to a woman after sex. Always say that was great or I love you.

[smokingun]

Or honey does this dress make me look fat. You betcha!!!

[Annie]

"Hey, lookie there! A new wrinkle!" or "But those pants fit last week, didn't they?" or "How come your lasagna doesn't taste like this?"

or how about this one... he says "Hi Diane" and I say "The name's Annie"

[smokingun]

LOL. That is a good one. :)

[Penny]

Never say Did you change your hair style because that means you dont like it. Always say Your hair looks beautiful ;)

[Barkiss]

I sure am glad I like big butts...

[Penny]

Here's one that would really aggravate me. Never lite up a ciggarette or play with the remote while your recieving oral sex :nu

I know men that do that:(

[Barkiss]

Here's one that would really aggravate me. Never lite up a ciggarette or play with the remote while your recieving oral sex :nu

I know men that do that:(

Can we balance our beer can on your head? ;)

[Sandy]

no you may not. if you do that. how long do you think it will be before you recieve again?

[Annie]

"... now Annie... about your truck... "

[DMan]

One of my mistakes after sex.........."Could you help me wash and wax the car?":whee:

[Jy]

Never compare your woman with another, such as "Why don't you style your hair like Diane's?" or "Can you make your spaghetti sauce more like Debbie's?"

[Wet Beaver]

Can we balance our beer can on your head? ;)

no you can't.. that would take some extra talent on your part....

[Jy]

That's right Penny. And it also means they're asking because they're quite sure if you did or not, which means they haven't been paying attention!!




Never say Did you change your hair style because that means you dont like it. Always say Your hair looks beautiful ;)

[Norfolkdave]

" That was bloody disgusting"

[Penny]

Most women dont want to be told they are cute, I hate cute :(

[Sandy]

oh i'm sorry i thought you were your sister

[Cindy]

Can I bite your balls :D



Can we balance our beer can on your head? ;)

[Barkiss]

Can I bite your balls :D

hmmm...how hard?

[spare_change]

Never say Did you change your hair style because that means you dont like it. Always say Your hair looks beautiful ;)


What if I don't like it???



If you don't want to know the answer, don't ask the question!!

[spare_change]

You're starting to look a lot like your mother.

[spare_change]

Wow! Those have really started drop, havent' they?

[Barkiss]

Just turn over and lay there...I'll be quick.

[spare_change]

Are you gray THERE, too?

[Barkiss]

Knees or back...your choice.

[juli55]

You're starting to look a lot like your mother.

Grrrrrrrrrr:nu

[Norfolkdave]

"You smell"

[MCat]

You need new pants

[Norfolkdave]

Whats that running down your legs!

[Barkiss]

I love you, I'm just not IN-love with you.

[Penny]

I will call you :(

[Barkiss]

Sorry, I was drunk.

[Penny]

Are your boobs real?

[Barkiss]

That Big Mac and fries cost $5.24. That means when we go to my place later you owe me $5.24 worth of poontang.

[Barkiss]

Hey, you know that funny noise your sister makes when she has an orgasm?

[spare_change]

Wow!!! Listen to this!! I can get an echo in here!

[Barkiss]

Yeah it's a great pill...I couldn't control my herpes without it.

[spare_change]

OMG!!!! Headlights!!!

[Barkiss]

My test results were positive and the doctor told me to contact everyone I've been with lately. So...how are you doing?

[spare_change]

Sure looks like I am going to need Viagra tonight!

[Barkiss]

Damn babe...I've heard of bush, but that's getting out of control.

[spare_change]

Gee -- i've never seen one sag further than the other!

[Barkiss]

Wow...I've got bigger breasts than you.

[spare_change]

Dang -- your mom's feel better than that!

[smokingun]

I thought you said the doc added an extra stitch after the baby was born.

[Barkiss]

Hey woman! I need a beer!

[spare_change]

Do you know your sister likes it in the butt?

[Sandy]

are those real?:lmao

[spare_change]

Why won't you do it??? Your mama did !

[spare_change]

Oh no!!! I won't cum in your mouth! I promise!

[Barkiss]

Oh no!!! I won't cum in your mouth! I promise!

then...uh..Oh...OH..OOHHOO...um, sorry

[Sandy]

i promise i'll pull out before i c..

[Sandy]

if you love me you will:nu

[sweetgapeach]

LMAO yall guys r too funny!!

[Trev]

You must be wearing a thong under them

[Big O]

Well you might be right, but you're UGLY!!!!!!

[smokingun]

When did you start getting varicose veins?

[smokingun]

Are those age spots?

[nyadad]

I'm taking notes on these.:whee:

[Penny]

Bad boys :sp:

[spare_change]

Cool !!!! The kids can use your thong on the catapult!!!

[spare_change]

Who lit the fuse on your tampax?

[spare_change]

hmmmm -- looks like you are going to be changing to the CHUNKY peanut butter, huh?

[spare_change]

No, those pants don't make your butt looke big!! You ASS makes your butt look big!

[spare_change]

You don't look so bad when you fix yourself up.

[Sandy]

spare your so bad:nu :sp: how many of these have you used?

[Wet Beaver]

spare your so bad:nu :sp: how many of these have you used?
now you know why he hasn't been laid for the last 30 years....

[Sandy]

lmao:lmao
i like that w.b.

[bonzzz4292]

the worst thing to say to a woman is your ex's name while you are going at it.

i have never done that but have seen the results from friends that have.
not a pretty site .

[Sandy]

oh you would be a dead man you hear me dead. :nu :sp:

[yaser]

Hey woman! I need a beer!Hey Barkiss, these women are not waitresses..They are flirters...Ask something else to do but not beer..

[Leatherman]

hey baby, your tits feel just like your sisters

[Norfolkdave]

"You slut"

[Cotties]

Holy shit! When was the last time you washed... I can't feel my tongue.....

[Shiane]

Kind of weird but 3 other nurses and myself just had this discussion about 2 hrs ago. This is one thing not to say to a woman "When is your baby due" unless she just handed you a positive EPT.

[Cotties]

you weren't so fat when I first met you

[Norfolkdave]

Stop scratching your arse, you got fleas:D

[hank69]

I'll call you later...........

[Norfolkdave]

The condom has broken

[aceofspades1114]

Or honey does this dress make me look fat. You betcha!!!

Had to respond to this, one of my budies told his girl friend this

its not the dress that makes you look fat, it is the fat that makes you look fat

[aceofspades1114]

Is it me or did we or did we get to a fish procesing plant

[Norfolkdave]

Your hair is matted

[Jy]

Had to respond to this, one of my buddies told his girl friend this

its not the dress that makes you look fat, it is the fat that makes you look fat



OMG!!!! Are you serious??? LMAO!!! I can't believe it! How is he coping without his genitals??

[Jy]

By the way, nice to see you again, ace! :kk

[Barkiss]

Thank God you won't be my last....

[firefly]

Seems like you guys are real experienced on what not to say to a woman! ;)

[italian_princess0420]

was that smell u or the dog?

[Barkiss]

Seems like you guys are real experienced on what not to say to a woman! ;)

My mom provided me a list to ensure I was always a gentleman. :)

[Sandy]

:lmao

[Wet Beaver]

My mom provided me a list to ensure I was always a gentleman. :)

didn't work.....

[Seeker]

Yeah, I guess 'experience' is the right word here! Alot of trial and error for a good portion of us.


While I can't think of anything I've said (I'm sure there are many things I have over the years though) I do remember an action ...... woke up one morning next to a very beautiful lady and saw something big and black on her boob. I swatted it (pretty hard). I then realized that as the screaming started, it was a mole.

I learned several things that morning so long ago:

Never go to bed with the lights out
Never swat anything on a womans boobs.
and most importantly, never leave a bat within reach of a woman who has just been swatted! :nu
P.S. I never saw her again. D' oh!!!
Seems like you guys are real experienced on what not to say to a woman! ;)

[Barkiss]

didn't work.....

WB...I'm surprised...I've always been a gentleman to you....I think ;)

[Wet Beaver]

WB...I'm surprised...I've always been a gentleman to you....I think ;)

your surprised...how do ya think your mother feels.....

[Barkiss]

your surprised...how do ya think your mother feels.....

She knows I'm a gentleman...:na

[Wet Beaver]

She knows I'm a gentleman...:na



then why did she give ya that list......

[Cotties]

you are such a heart breaker Wet B

beautiful and cruel:kk your surprised...how do ya think your mother feels.....

[yaser]

Seems like you guys are real experienced on what not to say to a woman! ;)Ok, but I don't know what not to say to you Shiane..at the moment..You are seducing me...

[Cotties]

Only once have I seen a girl go off to get her fathers shotgun

This is what I said "shut up you stupid worthless bitch"

I never said that again and thought best to leave the country for a while...

P.S..Forgive the language ladies and any sensative men.

[yaser]

you are such a heart breaker Wet B

beautiful and cruel:kk I fully aggree with you Cotties...She breaks everything she gets in her hands

[yaser]

didn't work.....Have you tried once more?

[yaser]

Only once have I seen a girl go off to get her fathers shotgun

This is what I said "shut up you stupid worthless bitch"

I never said that again and thought best to leave the country for a while...

P.S..Forgive the language ladies and any sensative men.Why have gone there?? And wha did you do to her to make herto get her farher's gun?

[Norfolkdave]

" Dont be nosey"

[surfnchat]

Hey, that's not my ring... It's my wrist watch! :lmao

[Wet Beaver]

I fully aggree with you Cotties...She breaks everything she gets in her hands

nope...just some men....:gs

[Barkiss]

then why did she give ya that list......

good question...

[Barkiss]

I fully aggree with you Cotties...She breaks everything she gets in her hands

She hasn't broken me yet!! Bent me up, toss me around, bruised my butt, yes; but I'm not broken...;)

[Wet Beaver]

She hasn't broken me yet!! Bent me up, toss me around, bruised my butt, yes; but I'm not broken...;)
you forgot...locked in a cage....

[Barkiss]

you forgot...locked in a cage....

can't forget that, but too much information my hamper your abilities ;)

[Wet Beaver]

can't forget that, but too much information my hamper your abilities ;)

what ??you want to be in a hamper now?? In a male locker room?? ewwwww

[Barkiss]

what ??you want to be in a hamper now?? In a male locker room?? ewwwww

come on...I know the smell of dirty jocks makes you hot...:D

[Wet Beaver]

come on...I know the smell of dirty jocks makes you hot...:D

not me....i think you are confuseing me ...with yourself.....

[Barkiss]

not me....i think you are confuseing me ...with yourself.....

no..I'm sure it was you I was with...remember when we recreated the Porky's scene? ;)

Oh...I'm probably not suppose to be telling everyone this...right?

[Wet Beaver]

no..I'm sure it was you I was with...remember when we recreated the Porky's scene? ;)

Oh...I'm probably not suppose to be telling everyone this...right?

yea i remember that.....you put it in the hole.....and someone tore it off.....

[Barkiss]

ouch!!! forgot about that...I was only remembering the good times..

[Norfolkdave]

" Darling the condom has broke"

[DMan]

Norfolk;

Your line about the condom breaking.............that is when she made me go get a vasectomy!!!:D

[Norfolkdave]

Norfolk;

Your line about the condom breaking.............that is when she made me go get a vasectomy!!!:D

Still paying for it:lmao

[Norfolkdave]

Sorry lost your ring

[gradof68]

Calling out another womans name at most inopportune time. :(

[DMan]

Especially if you are married! OUCH!!:D

[Norfolkdave]

Calling out another womans name at most inopportune time. :(

June June...............OH Oh mmmm Oh Carol Ive!!!!:lmao

[Sandy]

I thought it only fair, since we have one on the guys. So whats the worst thing to say to a woman,




honey have you gained weight ?

[Sunfiresix]

My secretary has the same outfit and she looks so sexy in it.

[Sexylady06]

Get dressed up so you will look like somebody!

[Sandy]

oh good on sun. lol




you had your hair-cut ?

[sweetgapeach]

I swear its only when you not here

[Sunfiresix]

I can't wait to hear these, you girls will have some dandys I bet.

[ravinghussy]

honey im home

[Sandy]

damn honey you look old.

[Sunfiresix]

honey im home

I hope she don't think that when I get home, ouch:sc

[Sandy]

naw your a sweetheart sun:kk





I hope she don't think that when I get home, ouch:sc

[Norfolkdave]

" Honey" the condom has broken

[bonzzz4292]

Are you PMSing again?
:nu

[Jy]

It was our anniversary...?

[Jy]

It'll be your turn next time...

[Sandy]

its your birthday again already

[Sunfiresix]

no! really dear(snicker) your nose is actually cute.

[Barkiss]

That ain't a butt, that's a bean bag.

[Norfolkdave]

"Oh you have undressed"

[Sunfiresix]

Oh! your nylons aren't wrinked? you aren't wearing any?

[Norfolkdave]

You left the tap running

[harley doc]

Did you put on your make-up?

[Sandy]

oh you had your hair done ?

[Penny]

Whats for supper :D

I hate that

[Sandy]

i hate i don't know, whatever you feel like cooking. :D








Whats for supper :D

I hate that

[spare_change]

Hun --- you really need to wear a bra. I can't see your belt !

[spare_change]

Well, I see the PMS fairy is visiting again!

[spare_change]

Did you hit the water? Well, I guess next time you'll look to see if the lid is down, won't you?

[spare_change]

God, you really remind me of your mother!

[spare_change]

You've got a headache tonight? Good thing my secretary didn't today!

[spare_change]

One thing i can count on from you, hun -- I will always get your opinion whether i want it or not.

[spare_change]

When did you have to start turning sideways to get thru that doorway?

[spare_change]

Hun -- that's not a caboose -- it's the whole fucking train!

[spare_change]

No, I'm pretty sure one more piece of pie won't make a difference.

[spare_change]

You know, I can't figure it out -- your mom REALLY likes giving blowjobs. What happened to you?

[spare_change]

that ain't a muu muu -- its a MOOOOO MOOOO !

[spare_change]

There are three Bedouin tribes looking for that tent you got on.

[spare_change]

Of course your knees are bothering you -- they have been locked together for the last ten years.

[spare_change]

Oh, sorry -- I thought it was MY turn to be a pain in the ass.

[spare_change]

You had your hair done today?? Interesting.

[spare_change]

Honey, the only way you could wear a bikini is if it was one of the islands!

[spare_change]

That's not an armpit - that's a jungle!

[spare_change]

Of course I forgot what i did wrong -- no sense both of us remembering!

[spare_change]

Because it's tighter back there.

[spare_change]

You are my rock -- wanna go swimming?

[tiger50]

Of course I forgot what i did wrong -- no sense both of us remembering!

lol all good stuff spare...:lmao :lmao

[spare_change]

Some day, somewhere, in the vast outreaches of cosmic space, you are going to say something that makes sense.

[spare_change]

Well, I see we are going to ride the menopause train tonight, huh?

[spare_change]

That ain't hormones -- you're just a bitch.

[spare_change]

Think we can file a claim for fallen tits?

[spare_change]

How come all your friends look so much younger than you?

[spare_change]

... and we can get extra support for the passenger's seat!!

[spare_change]

Hun, you don't drive - you aim.

[spare_change]

Let you drive? I'd rather have a root canal on my dick!

[spare_change]

I swear to you I heard an echo down there!

[Jy]

Holy jumpin' Spare! You're on a bit of a roll tonight, aren't you?! Got the wind up your tail tonight? Or just not getting enough tail? Hmm?

Whoever pissed in your Corn Flakes today was most definitely female!!

[Cotties]

Spare....great read.... good to see you showing some form........ and keeping the thread alive......

[Rainmaker]

Holy jumpin' Spare! You're on a bit of a roll tonight, aren't you?! Got the wind up your tail tonight? Or just not getting enough tail? Hmm?

Whoever pissed in your Corn Flakes today was most definitely female!!

i agree!! i was like geeez-let my hub say all that to me -id be kicking some bumm-lol

[Zifnab]

i agree!! i was like geeez-let my hub say all that to me -id be kicking some bumm-lol
then they wonder why we don't want to talk:lmao

[Sandy]

lol go ahead spare, we have to remember we gave it to the guys. :wa: :na

[Zifnab]

lol go ahead spare, we have to remember we gave it to the guys. :wa: :na
really??? and I missed it????:kk

[spare_change]

lol go ahead spare, we have to remember we gave it to the guys. :wa: :na

... and you said you only gave it to me!

[Sandy]

lol you smaert ass:na

[Sandy]

damn why can't you look like that ?

[Zpanther]

Your doin' pretty good....... you got 44 reputation points!

[straittalk]

I noticed that your hair is getting thin ...too bad i cant say the same about the rest of you

[straittalk]

you better start wearing a bra before you nipples get caught in your belt buckle

[straittalk]

youve got legs that would get a forester excited

[G...G]

:nu :nu :sc

[straittalk]

you got that at Macy's i thought you needed a specialty shop

[straittalk]

we cant afford the trip if you need 2 seats

[spare_change]

That's not lingerie -- that's a fish net !

[spare_change]

Well, it SMELLED like a fish net.

[straittalk]

spare you are the king of one liners i cant compete i bow to you

[straittalk]

if i were fishing and i caught you, i'd throw you back

[straittalk]

YaaaaaaHoooooo thats 50 posts

[Jy]

Well done Strait!! Welcome to Premium!!

[straittalk]

THANK YOU ! THANK YOU ! THANK YOU! I hope i never disappoint you!

[Sandy]

congrats strait.

[straittalk]

is penny ok i havent seen her all day

[Sandy]

yeah itsearly yet, she'll be on later.

[Zifnab]

Well I don't care what you think! I'm going anyway!

[Sunfiresix]

Good job straittalk, keep goin and enjoy.

[blanjas3]

no.............................:D

[Zifnab]

sorry,I'm broke.

[Cotties]

Thats pretty funny Z.P... it may get you in deeper shit but still funny.


I don't know if the posse wants to follow ya down that dirt track though.
..........we a scared boss...........
Your doin' pretty good....... you got 44 reputation points!

[Cotties]

He really is a man of substance isn't he. I don't know how long that badge will protect him for.


good to have you here Straittalk
spare you are the king of one liners i cant compete i bow to you

[Wet Beaver]

sorry,I'm broke.

so you have this trouble??


http://www.compfused.com/directlink/1235/ :na

[Jy]

OMG!! That was hysterical!!! I had to pause it four times so I could compose myself enough to watch the rest of it!!

Thanks for posting that sister!!

[tiger50]

so you have this trouble??


http://www.compfused.com/directlink/1235/ :na



hahahahahaha.... sooooo true....lol:D

[Sandy]

og god wb i was rolling. :lmao

[Penny]

Lets see if you are like the many others that stop posting between 50 and 60 post :(



THANK YOU ! THANK YOU ! THANK YOU! I hope i never disappoint you!

[Sandy]

lol i didn't, i'm hooked. :D

[Wet Beaver]

Whats the worst thing to say to a women.....




hmmm ....hello, my name is cotties.....:na

[Sandy]

lol oh shit wb, i choked on my tea. :lmao

[sweetgapeach]

Whats the worst thing to say to a women.....




hmmm ....hello, my name is cotties.....:na


:lmao

[tiger50]

Whats the worst thing to say to a women.....




hmmm ....hello, my name is cotties.....:na


:lmao :lmao :lmao :lmao :lmao :lmao :lmao :lmao :lmao awwww fark...

[Penny]

:lmao :lmao



Whats the worst thing to say to a women.....




hmmm ....hello, my name is cotties.....:na

[Sandy]

i'm married.

[Jy]

The worst thing to say??




...you'll do.

[Cotties]

No biting from me today beaver. Just good to see ya smiling:55



shit! forced to bite my tongue and its bleeding bad.But it did leave a few other women exposed..hahaha girls, thats you too Tiger. Penny, I'm shocked but never disappointed.

Whats the worst thing to say to a women.....




hmmm ....hello, my name is cotties.....:na

[Cotties]

About time you started getting back into form. The worst thing to say??




...you'll do.

[spare_change]

damn why can't you look like that ?

Maybe I do

[Cotties]

You have long pretty hair. I doubt it. You just know what the girls want ya cheat. Sorry Spare. I haven't said hello in a while and I hope theres no grudges for riding with the opposition. You guys can have Tiger if ya wan imMaybe I do

[tiger50]

You have long pretty hair. I doubt it. You just know what the girls want ya cheat. Sorry Spare. I haven't said hello in a while and I hope theres no grudges for riding with the opposition. You guys can have Tiger if ya wan im

wat??? :nu take that bak cotties....

[Cotties]

Thats a good thing Tiger. The PPP mob are selected by the women to protect their honour with a silent H.:D I'm laughing at the H joke at not the lack of honourability in the women here. :D :D sorry, still laughing. I think it was a good one. Well what side of the fence you on. I've seen a lot of womanizing going on with you lately. wat??? :nu take that bak cotties....

[Sandy]

i thought you said you were on a diet ?

[straittalk]

that is the extra long seat belt

[straittalk]

why dont you get a nose ring for your left nostril to offset the wart on your right nostril

[straittalk]

dont the both of you use the same hairdresser?

[straittalk]

you mean to tell me that there are no extra wide women's shoes

[straittalk]

we'll just call your side of the mattress 'valley of the queen'

[straittalk]

I remember when you could fit more clothes in your drawers

[straittalk]

i always thought the tits were supposed to stick out further than the stomach

[straittalk]

no, the south beach diet is not a weeks stay at a miami hotel

[Matt1960]

hey Honey, I love it when you shake that junk in your trunk.

[Barkiss]

Welcome to the site Matt1960!

[Zpanther]

The worst thing to say??


...you'll do.

but that doesn't work with you, because you don't.......... or at least that's what ya keep tellin' us.

[Penny]

welcome matt :kk

[Sandy]

welcome to the site matt. :wa:

[Sandy]

you call those boobs ?

[sweetgapeach]

you call those boobs ?


Lmao

[straittalk]

Lmao i dont know what that means:whee:

[SolarisRider]

You're Kidding?! I thought you were your twin! Never could tell you apart!

[sweetgapeach]

i dont know what that means:whee:


Laugh My Ass Off

[Wet Beaver]

the doctor said the discharge out of my penis is notting to worry about.....

[Barkiss]

You're my third one today...

[Sandy]

i've never met a woman who had more face hair than i did.

[Wet Beaver]

You're my third one today...

dreaming again??

[Barkiss]

dreaming again??

Yes..problem?