The worst things to say to a man?

[twoblues]

Whoa dude... your boobies are bigger than mine!

Then she goes ahead and gives them a name ;)

[BuckiDave]

Have you started yet? :sc

[hoss]

I'd let u cum in me ,but if i got pregnant ,I'm afraid the baby may look like u...

[Cotties]

that would workWhoa dude... your boobies are bigger than mine!

[hoss]

* I've smoked joints fatter than that.
* Ahh, it's cute.
* I'm sorry.
* Who circumcised you ?
* Why don't we just cuddle ?
* You know they have surgery to fix that.
* My last boyfriend was 4" bigger.
* Oh no, a flash headache !
* My 8-year-old brother has one like that.
* This explains your car.
* Are you one of those pygmies ?
* Why is God punishing you ?
* But it still works, right ?
* Do you take steroids ?
* Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes ?
* Aww, it's hiding.
* Are you cold ?
* If you get me real drunk first.
* Is that an optical illusion ?
* It's a good thing you have so many other talents.
* Does it come with an air pump ?
* So this is why you're supposed to judge people on personality.

[hoss]

* ...and counting your dad last weekend, that's the whole family, then.
* As if my hangover weren't bad enough, you're still here.
* Be a sweetheart and slide down the laundry chute when you let yourself out?
* Between coming down off the crack and that nightmare about a naked Marlon Brando, you wouldn't believe what was going through my — AAAAAGH!!!
* Can you validate my parking ?
* Gotta run — I'm late to confession! Bless you, my son.
* Ugh, what a mess! Can I borrow a pair of your underwear ?
* You know, you looked a lot better in low light with your head bobbing up and down.
* Your wife called, but don't worry — I told her that you were sleeping off the booze and coke and several hours of intense fornicatin'.
* AIEEE! My eyes!
* Are those my teeth or yours?
* Man, it smells like a Turkish prison in here.
* Mother of God, how drunk *WAS* I?
* My lawyer will be in touch with you.
* Sorry about the whole get-drunk-and-screw thing.
* That idea o' yours would make a great Senate resolution. Here, lemme give you Hillary's number...
* Those marks should heal in about a week.
* You aren't allergic to penicillin, are you?
* You have the right to remain silent. You have the right to an attorney...
* Your Mom called and can't wait to meet me.
* My eggs ? Over easy — just like you.
* And you are...?
* Sorry, but I should probably get home before I sober up.
* Thanks, I had a great time. Can you just send me the bill for your replacement prosthetic?
* Have you ever considered responding to one of those, um, 'male enlargement' ads ?
* Could I get you to sign this diary for my parole officer?
* Is there any chance you could drop me off at the methadone clinic on your way back into town?
* You look a lot, um, less sexy without the burqua.
* Remember last night when I said that I run TopFive ? Well, I lied — I'm just a contributor.
* For breakfast, I usually have some fava beans and a nice Chianti.
* Before you leave, would you like to see some sexually arousing video of me and a monkey ?
* Look over there at that houseplant and wave... you're on candid-slutcam.com!
* Hand me my penis, will ya ?

[Annie]

I don't know Hoss... I still like "I talked to your wife today." the best.

[Cotties]

Poor Hoss


I sure hope that just wasn't one women you were with:sc
* I've smoked joints fatter than that.
* Ahh, it's cute.
* I'm sorry.
* Who circumcised you ?
* Why don't we just cuddle ?
* You know they have surgery to fix that.
* My last boyfriend was 4" bigger.
* Oh no, a flash headache !
* My 8-year-old brother has one like that.
* This explains your car.
* Are you one of those pygmies ?
* Why is God punishing you ?
* But it still works, right ?
* Do you take steroids ?
* Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes ?
* Aww, it's hiding.
* Are you cold ?
* If you get me real drunk first.
* Is that an optical illusion ?
* It's a good thing you have so many other talents.
* Does it come with an air pump ?
* So this is why you're supposed to judge people on personality.

[hoss]

I don't know Hoss... I still like "I talked to your wife today." the best.

FINE !!!!!..i go to all this work and what do i get !!!!....:nu

[hoss]

Poor Hoss


I sure hope that just wasn't one women you were with:sc

half momma ,half pixie......

[Annie]

FINE !!!!!..i go to all this work and what do i get !!!!....:nuwell next time you'll know... you really don't have to take notes after sex.

[hoss]

well next time you'll know... you really don't have to take notes after sex.

i always hand out a survey..so i know what i can improve on for next time...funny enough...it always comes back with no improvement needed...

[rainbowhigh]

well next time you'll know... you really don't have to take notes after sex.

:lmao Good one, Annie!

[hoss]

:lmao Good one, Annie!

which reminds me...u havent returned that survey from the other nite ...

[rainbowhigh]

:lmao which reminds me...u havent returned that survey from the other nite ...

[Annie]

which reminds me...u havent returned that survey from the other nite ...
I have not yet begun to sort out my feelings of well... complete abandonment... as if you weren't even there. Bob was though... he still manages the job done when others can't.


... Bob doesn't brag about his capabilities either... though he's never failed to please!

[hoss]

I have not yet begun to sort out my feelings of well... complete abandonment... as if you weren't even there. Bob was though... he still manages the job done when others can't.


... Bob doesn't brag about his capabilities either... though he's never failed to please!

I aint bragging ..I'm telling the truth...u can ask any of the many many women here .....

[MIGHTY]

Ok, I admit, it really is just you..not me.

[Annie]

I aint bragging ..I'm telling the truth...u can ask any of the many many women here .....

:D I already have, and you took notes!


... Silly man... you even posted them!

[Zpanther]

I have not yet begun to sort out my feelings of well... complete abandonment... as if you weren't even there. Bob was though... he still manages the job done when others can't.


... Bob doesn't brag about his capabilities either... though he's never failed to please!

I bet 'Bob' won't buy you a Christmas present if you're good in bed though....... ;)

[Annie]

I bet 'Bob' won't buy you a Christmas present if you're good in bed though....... ;)
Oh but Bob gives me what I want from him every time I want! What more of a gift could I ask! Besides, he never leaves the toilet seat up!

[SirFox]

Oh but Bob gives me what I want from him every time I want! What more of a gift could I ask! Besides, he never leaves the toilet seat up!

You just brought up an interesting point there Annie. Why do men have to leave the toilet seat down for the ladies? I understand it is respect for the ladies..In what ways?

[bbop]

Hello Fox, you old muckeroo you! You left yesterday before I could dedicate my avatar to you!:wa:

[SirFox]

Hello Fox, you old muckeroo you! You left yesterday before I could dedicate my avatar to you!:wa:

You would have done that for me? What an honour. I guess we do have a few scholars and gentlemen on this forum after all! You have been keeping the ladies' desires up while I was gone? :55

[bbop]

Yes Fox, it's quite a challenge running from one lady to the next. I could really use your help in certain situations. Inspector Clouseau would be quite proud of my detective work regarding the women and their desires!:D

[SirFox]

Yes Fox, it's quite a challenge running from one lady to the next. I could really use your help in certain situations. Inspector Clouseau would be quite proud of my detective work regarding the women and their desires!:D

Let me get my magnifying glass out and together we will look at the details....of the ladies of course...and decide the ones to pursue and the ones not to.

I wonder what the story is about Inspecteur Clouseau, if it was a figment out of someone out of Hollywood or whether it had some historical basis. Ever since in high school Stateside, I would always be called "Clouseau" and then "Jacques Cousteau"..

In France, we had one of the most extraordinary robber and deceptive artist of all times, ARSENE LUPIN. I do not know the equivalent in the USA.. :whee:

[Annie]

You just brought up an interesting point there Annie. Why do men have to leave the toilet seat down for the ladies? I understand it is respect for the ladies..In what ways?
Well it is a safety issue, Fox. If you put the seat down and use the toilet, all that can happen is you pee on the seat or the floor. If the seat is up and I happen to use it, I will fall in!


... of course if you happen to pee on the seat and I am the next person to use it, that too can be a safety issue!!

[SirFox]

Well it is a safety issue, Fox. If you put the seat down and use the toilet, all that can happen is you pee on the seat or the floor. If the seat is up and I happen to use it, I will fall in!


... of course if you happen to pee on the seat and I am the next person to use it, that too can be a safety issue!!

That sounds like a plausible explanation. That means that we both can fall in.
Now why the respect of your Ladyship and not my RearEndShip?

[nuke69]

HURRY UP 'SEX AND THE CITY' STARTS IN 10 MINUTE!
eve

[Frenchie]

HURRY UP 'SEX AND THE CITY' STARTS IN 10 MINUTE!
eve


lol no kidding! lol

[cherokeered]

No...I have to wash my hair




Cherokee....or, nooooo I just did my nails.....:whee:

[ryu_kenshi]

honey... I think you need to go to the doctor? ahh i mean .. my doctor...

[spare_change]

Hey!! Welcome aboard, ryu!! I see you got the idea already!

Hope you enjoy yourself -- they're good people, but frankly, you and I are the only sane ones here (and I ain't too sure about you).

[Cotties]

I use to be a man

[ryu_kenshi]

thanks for the welcome spare.... dunno about you either..lol

[cherokeered]

Mines bigger...........

[Cotties]

can I stay the night

[MIGHTY]

Well, at least you kept it up this time!

[PlayfulMale69]

We already had sex this month

[massage mike]

is it in yet?

[Frenchie]

really I cant feel it... you sure it's in?

[OICurready4me]

When I said give me 10 inches, I didn't expect you to give it to me 5 times!!

[hoss]

Damn Traxster...I've seen bigger dicks on a ant...

[Cotties]

bend over and sqweel like a pig boy

[Cotties]

I didn't know she was your wife

[sweetgapeach]

I can't work with something like that

[OICurready4me]

Did you get it caught in something when you were younger?

[OICurready4me]

Sorry about my laughing?

[Rmb]

Wake me when you're through.

[sweetgapeach]

Touch me again and see what happens

[Rmb]

Size 12 feet huh?

[sweetgapeach]

Size 12 feet huh?

LOL

[Rmb]

Did you pick up the running shoes for the kids?

[SirFox]

Looking at a guy's prick... "You mean you have children?"

[Frenchie]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ......pause for breath..... Ah ah ah ah aha ha

[hank69]

Dam look at that dust on the ceiling fan

We'll you clean that when your done..........

[ethans_so_bad]

Does this smell like ketchup to you?

[Traxster]

Damn Traxster...I've seen bigger dicks on a ant...

Walk off ya hoser!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! eh!! ya checkin out ants hah???

[ethans_so_bad]

Honey I love how you can make love to me for eight hours, including of course the four hours of begging and the dinner and a movie afterward.

[yaser]

I loved you once...

[hoss]

mother was right...you are useless.....

[ethans_so_bad]

That's okay honey really, I'm sure it happens to lots of guys - except that guy ethan.
xox

[Rmb]

Lean to the right I want to change the channel.

[ethans_so_bad]

Lean to the right I want to change the channel.

I'm still unsure what would be so wrong with her saying that. She would only be saying what I'm thinking.

[dartgirl]

Are you done now? Was that it?

[steve_edwards]

Don't worry, i'm sure it happens to lots of men at your age :-)

[Rmb]

Pass me section 2 of the newspaper I have read this.

[ethans_so_bad]

Would you hurry up with whatever it is your'e doing? My boyfriend will be here any minute.
xox

[dartgirl]

Let me up so I can go wash!

[ethans_so_bad]

So that's what it feels like to be abducted by aliens
xox

[steve_edwards]

Wow, that's almost as good as my ex.

[ryu_kenshi]

can you take me home? I have another date in 20 minutes...

[OICurready4me]

You want me to suck that?

[pointofnoreturn]

Time for Leno...

[steve_edwards]

Oh, ok. I didn't know you were finished

[pointofnoreturn]

Seriously?

[ethans_so_bad]

Listen buddy after that I feel so sorry for you I will leave YOU some money on the table on the way out

[ryu_kenshi]

can you take a pill or something

[Suz]

Oh it's so little......

[ethans_so_bad]

It's okay, it's scratch and sniff

[Barkiss]

it's so cute

[dartgirl]

You want me to what with it?

[ethans_so_bad]

That reminds me of my Dad's............
xox

[pointofnoreturn]

So what is your friends number anyway?

[ethans_so_bad]

You want me to what with it?

Dart please do not drag our private conversations onto this site

[Suz]

it's so cute

That was my second favorite thing to say....I mean worst thing to say:)

[ethans_so_bad]

So what is your friends number anyway?

I told you I would call him

[Rmb]

Is it morning yet??

[pointofnoreturn]

Are you Married?

[steve_edwards]

Hehe

[dartgirl]

Dart please do not drag our private conversations onto this site

Don't even get me started!!!

[steve_edwards]

Oh dear!

[dartgirl]

oh, I'm sorry. You were still here.

[Barkiss]

Can I have the credit card?

[steve_edwards]

It's ok love, I'll order you one of those pumps from the internet.

[pointofnoreturn]

I really am a man?

[Barkiss]

Your brother's is much bigger.

[pointofnoreturn]

I'd do your sister before I would do you.

[ryu_kenshi]

Yes honey you are right he does not have your eyes..

[Big O]

I'd do your sister before I would do you.

gender check?????????

[Rmb]

It doesnt matter it is small...really

[steve_edwards]

Hey, your dad has the same birthmark

[pointofnoreturn]

For me???Yes I am a woman with a strange sense of humor I guess. Now, ...You must be kidding, that's it?

[ryu_kenshi]

no hon.. the kegerator can not go in the kitchen

[pointofnoreturn]

What is that?

[dartgirl]

What do you mean you didn't know? How dumb can you be?

[pointofnoreturn]

No thanks

[Suz]

Um....NO....I don't think so.

[Spooky13]

No you are not as big as the other guys I did...

[pointofnoreturn]

That's as hard as you get??????

[spare_change]

uhhh -- does that come with an air pump?

[spare_change]

Have you tried Miracle Gro?

[Suz]

That's it??!! What a waste! Not worth the clean up time....

[spare_change]

Boy, I can tell you and your brother didn't have the same teacher!

[spare_change]

Nahh -- I don't want to meet your brother, but what's your sister doing tonight?

[spare_change]

AHH! So THAT'S why they call you Tiny!!

[massage mike]

is it in yet

[dartgirl]

So the auld wives tales were wrong, the size of your thumbs don't mean your other parts are big too!

[pointofnoreturn]

I have to wait how long???

[dartgirl]

You have got to be kidding me! What do you mean you can't?

[sweetgapeach]

No

[yaser]

I have to wait how long???
Honey, the name of this game is:You ask the question and you will answer.. :spbx:

[yaser]

No
Sweetie why do you love 'NO' that much?You get no...

[pointofnoreturn]

500.00 Please...

[Barkiss]

No

NO shit!!! So when is it going to be YES!!!

[sweetgapeach]

NO shit!!! So when is it going to be YES!!!



LOL When my Headache goes away

[pointofnoreturn]

Is that a rash???

[Barkiss]

LOL When my Headache goes away

LOL - Yeah I wish he...uh I mean...it would go away too!

[sweetgapeach]

LOL - Yeah I wish he...uh I mean...it would go away too!


LOL ......THUMP!!!

[Barkiss]

LOL ......THUMP!!!

:kk

[yaser]

Is that a rash???After,during or before?

[yaser]

You have got to be kidding me! What do you mean you can't?
How will you tell this?Humiliating?

[pointofnoreturn]

Before???

[yaser]

Before???
This time we will be able to make love with you honey...Hopeful for next time... :spbx:

[pointofnoreturn]

I'll be waiting....

[yaser]

I'll be waiting....
Take a shower and don't smear any perfume on... I want to smell your real rose ...

[pointofnoreturn]

Shower before and after. Will you join me?

[yaser]

Shower before and after. Will you join me?
I will not come out..

[Suz]

is it in yet

Ahhh...classic

[hoss]

here...take your money back...i can't stop laughing.....:D

[steve_edwards]

My mum always told me never to eat anything that hasn't been boiled

[UltimateNaneki]

I dont marry bums!

[ethans_so_bad]

Oh ethan..........ethan......Ethan, uh, I mean (insert name here)

[dave42]

Nothing for you!

[luvplayluvlick]

you promise to tell me before you cum?

are you done yet?

[Outta]

Oh ethan..........ethan......Ethan, uh, I mean (insert name here)
Ethan why do u make this so easy?


Oh ethan..........ethan......Ethan, uh, I mean (insert your dick HERE)

[majorfun]

No seriously...you really work out

[Outta]

Or "You work out an hour a day for THAT?"

[paris]

eentsy weentsy!

[Outta]

eentsy weentsy!
you promised not to tell, Paris!

[majorfun]

I could have done that by myself...

[Outta]

I could have done that by myself...
Now that ther's funny, I don't care who ya are.

[majorfun]

Long and hard

[p.J]

"wake me up when its over"

[Outta]

Does your WIFE ever get bored in bed?

[massage mike]

is it in yey?

[MIGHTY]

Will it help if I beat it?

[OICurready4me]

Will it help if I beat it?


It will if it's you!

[ethans_so_bad]

It gets softer after the scab falls off

[pointofnoreturn]

Don't pick it!

[OICurready4me]

You call that a dick?

[pointofnoreturn]

You said you were a guy....

[yaser]

You said you were a guy....
Come and check it...ıt is easy...just lay down next to me..

[Outta]

It gets softer after the scab falls off
Ethan, you are one sick dude.

[Outta]

You said you were a guy....
Send me the video

[OICurready4me]

I suggest you get a blood test, ASAP!

[Outta]

You have any friends?

[OICurready4me]

I think you need to buy a smaller condom

[Outta]

Are there implants for men?

[DJIllogical]

I have a headache

[Outta]

Did you just get out of a cold pool or something?

[Traxster]

I said i liked 12" not 1/2"

[Outta]

OK, you can turn Oprah off now.

[Traxster]

I want the Al Bundy Special...

[p.J]

"you flipping lie on the wet patch!"

[Traxster]

"you flipping lie on the wet patch!"


Good one!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :lmao been there done that!!

[yaser]

"wake me up when its over"
I wonder what respose you may have..Me soften right away..

[massage mike]

"wake me up when its over"your bad :knuddel: i like you:D

[Outta]

"you flipping lie on the wet patch!"
There's somethin seriously wrong with you girl. But I like it. :whee:

[MIGHTY]

Not tonight, honey....or tommorrow, or the next day, or the next....

[Outta]

Not tonight, honey....or tommorrow, or the next day, or the next....
Again you have to say that to me. I got the point already.

[Seeker]

Been there, Hearin' that! :cry: Not tonight, honey....or tommorrow, or the next day, or the next....

[MIGHTY]

Been there, Hearin' that! :cry:

Awww..:kk. If it helps, so am I.....:(

[p.J]

There's somethin seriously wrong with you girl. But I like it. :whee:

Why thank you, charmed indeed!

[massage mike]

Not tonight, honey....or tommorrow, or the next day, or the next....that body needs to keep busy to stay gorgeous:D

[MIGHTY]

that body needs to keep busy to stay gorgeous:D

Hmmm...if I could only think of a way to keep busy...???:sc

[OICurready4me]

Not tonight, honey....or tommorrow, or the next day, or the next....


Have you been a fly on the wall in my house?

[ethans_so_bad]

"Honey, Ethan called today............."

[OICurready4me]

Hmmm...if I could only think of a way to keep busy...???:sc


I could think of about 69 ways:hp::la::sex:blowjob:

[Caramel Temptation]

You are small

[MIGHTY]

>>laughing<<...what made you think YOU could pull that off?!

[twoblues]

You are small

Small in stature?
Small minded?
...
...oh, small...thingy....;)

[ethans_so_bad]

"Honey, I need some advice. When I'm with my boyfriend, all I seem to be able to think about is his wife............"

[dartgirl]

Oh, I'm sorry. Was I snoring? I thought you were done.

[pointofnoreturn]

your boobs are bigger than mine??????

[OICurready4me]

I hope you don't breath through that, if so, you're going to die!

[dave42]

I need a real man!

[pointofnoreturn]

It's ok, I can finish myself...

[yaser]

It's ok, I can finish myself...
Don't tell it to me hun..

[pointofnoreturn]

Oh my God?????What is that???

[yaser]

Oh my God?????What is that???
Point if you told that to me,I would understand that you have scared of what you have seen when I lowered my pants..

[pointofnoreturn]

Might not be scared. Might be in awe......Might be amazed and aroused....

[yaser]

Might not be scared. Might be in awe......Might be amazed and aroused....
Would would have you said then? :lf

[pointofnoreturn]

Lets take it to the limits....

[yaser]

Lets take it to the limits....
Ok.I am an easy man for you..

[Outta]

Was your father a midget?

[yaser]

Was your father a midget?
Don't know I have not seen him..Died many years ago.

[ethans_so_bad]

It's okay to lick it, I just ave to keep the cream on until the rash clears up.....

[Annie]

"Wow! Nice dress! Is that a Macky?"

[ethans_so_bad]

I'm sorry it's just that I keep comparing you to your dad in bed.....

[divorced male 43]

do i have to have sex with u again

[ethans_so_bad]

No honey nothing is going on. The pool guy just needs to come everyday for for the next few weeks, it's been neglected is all.

[Zifnab]

" I now pronounce you...."

[OICurready4me]

"I think your brother has a bigger *&^%(

[fly]

:lmao :lmao :lmao

It's okay to lick it, I just ave to keep the cream on until the rash clears up.....

I can not come up with anything after reading this one!!!!! I'll try again later......
:lmao :lmao :lmao

[OICurready4me]

When the doctor circumsized you, did he slip with the scalpel?

[Outta]

It's okay to lick it, I just ave to keep the cream on until the rash clears up.....
There is something seriously wrong with you, my boy.

[UltimateNaneki]

Let me think about it...

[Outta]

Honey, I'm home

[ethans_so_bad]

Honey Ethan came by today while you were gone....

[Outta]

Honey Ethan came by today while you were gone....
He fixed that nasty leak in the sink. Such a homely guy, but he's nice.

[ethans_so_bad]

LMAO! Good one my friend!

[Outta]

LMAO! Good one my friend!
Hard to outwit a nitwit.

[OICurready4me]

I hope you don't breath with that thing? If you do, you'll suffocate..

[MIGHTY]

Oh God...you really want to do that again??!!!

[MIGHTY]

You're kidding.... right???

[OICurready4me]

Now I know why you drive a big car!

[ethans_so_bad]

my boyfriend has that same shirt.............

[showtime]

That big belt buckle is a monument for a dead cock

[kiwimongo]

l fuck you

[Insider]

.

[showtime]

Your sick!

[kiwimongo]

l hate him now l am not sick

[showtime]

I wasn't replying to ANYBODY ,, I was answering the question whats the worst thing to say to a man and one of them is "your sick"

[showtime]

and by the way the big belt buckle was also answering the question

[Insider]

.

[nsamale]

Do you think your friend wants to date me :(

Ill date u penny...

[nsamale]

l fuck you

Life is short...u wana fuck me know or later...

[Insider]

.

[Insider]

.

[showtime]

Can I help you find it?

[kiwimongo]

Life is short...u wana fuck me know or later...
yes l wanna fuck you come my bed

[Insider]

.

[kiwimongo]

Are you in? I can't tell.
l am on my bed now

[Insider]

.

[majorfun]

Come to Alaska

[fly]

DON'T come to Alaska..........:D Come to Alaska

[majorfun]

I hear that they have some really good Red Snapper there

[fly]

Red Snapper, Halibut, Salmon, Lingcod........are you a fisherman?I hear that they have some really good Red Snapper there

[majorfun]

No I love eating fish