The worst things to say to a man?

[Jy]

I thought since the ladies were asked this question, it would be interesting to ask the guys as well!

I'll start it with the three little words that men can't stand...

"Is that it?"

[Annie]

"No, you can't drive my truck"

[Wet Beaver]

is it in yet??

[ross57412]

lol orrrrrrrrrr why are you still here

[Annie]

lol orrrrrrrrrr why are you still here


:lmao

[Norfolkdave]

" Im not your skivvy"

[Annie]

"It's not yours"

[romancer522000]

During the most intimate time she says I think I will paint the ceiling Grey !!!!!!!!!

[SirFox]

Oh oh Oh ....I am coming, I love you, Alan... when your name is not Alan!

[SirFox]

If only you would....

[Norfolkdave]

" Wash that sink out"

[Penny]

Do you think your friend wants to date me :(

[Sandy]

i slept with you friend:D

[spare_change]

No. Not if you were the last man on earth!!

[ksfirefighter]

its so cute!

[spare_change]

Gee! Maybe if you water it, it will grow!

[spare_change]

I've smoked joints bigger than that!!

[spare_change]

Will it squeak if I squeeze it?

[spare_change]

THIS explains your car!

[spare_change]

It's ok -- we will work around it.

[spare_change]

Well, at least this won't take long.

[spare_change]

But it works, right?

[spare_change]

Gee, I guess this makes me the early bird!!

[spare_change]

Does it come with an air pump?

[spare_change]

Wow!!! And your feet were SO big!!!

[spare_change]

How sweet!!! You brought incense!

[spare_change]

Why is God punishing me?

[spare_change]

Maybe if i get real drunk first!!

[Cotties]

I was going to say something and forgot ...lol times 10...thanks

K.S = it's so cute..that hurts..
And Spare it looks like you have waited a long time to share some of your amazing female statements..

and again Thanks

[Cotties]

I remembered...what a bitch...

Quote= My last boyfriends dick was bigger than yours

[juli55]

Its a good thing you have so many other talents

If you get me real drunk first

All right! a treasure hunt!

[Norfolkdave]

Dont leave them socks there.

Did you put the spoon in the sugar

Stop picking your nose

[MCat]

Does it get any bigger???

[sweetgapeach]

Is it in Yet?

[Norfolkdave]

Does it get any bigger???
stretch it:lmao

[ksfirefighter]

one I remember and got a friend of mine his nickname.

"your not peewee he's peewee!"

[nyadad]

Can we make this quick? I have to get up for work in the morning.
Do couples really do that? That's disgusting!
sweetgapeach had a good one "is it in yet?" That one really hurts!:cry:

[Barkiss]

at the right moment....OH CRAP!!! I forgot to take the pill!!!

[Penny]

Not now I just did my hair :D

[Barkiss]

The kids will hear...

[Penny]

Think you can do it again or should I get the vibrator out :D

[Barkiss]

Not now...Oprah is on

[Penny]

You have to clean that up tonight :D

Your turn to sleep in the wet spot

[Barkiss]

How much longer?

[Penny]

I dont think I can orgasm tonight Do you mind stopping

[Barkiss]

I'm beginning to tear up...these are hitting close to home...:(

[Penny]

Ok I will stop :kk



I'm beginning to tear up...these are hitting close to home...:(

[Barkiss]

Ok I will stop :kk

just kidding...I'm used to it...;)

[Jy]

Are you done yet?

[spare_change]

Please tell me you're finished!

[Barkiss]

What makes you think I would enjoy that?

[spare_change]

Well, no wonder it didn't grow -- you've been keeping it in the shade all these years.

[spare_change]

Is that your key or are you just glad to see me?

[smokingun]

Did they take to much when you were circumcised?

[spare_change]

Wow !! That was quick!

[Sandy]

lmao :lmao

[Barkiss]

Is your tongue longer?

[smokingun]

Honey, did you forget to take you viagra?

[smokingun]

Honey, the bottle says that if you have an erection for more than 4 hour to seek medical attention, but it does say what to do when you don't get an erection after 4 hour?

[spare_change]

Honey, the bottle says that if you have an erection for more than 4 hour to seek medical attention, but it does say what to do when you don't get an erection after 4 hour?

I heard the nurses' union insisted they put that warning on there -- guess they wanted to see for themselves!

[Penny]

New cologne or did u fart again

[Wet Beaver]

thats it...i have seen lager shrimp.....

[SirFox]

You're not going to put that thiing in me, you Nut?

[SirFox]

I think that Men are gross with their thingies hanging down between their legs..

[SirFox]

I won't take it....I can't take it.. I don't want to get torn in pieces..

[SirFox]

You want to? Okay with me. You don't want to? That's okay with me...

[SirFox]

Where do you think you will be putting that thing??????

[SirFox]

Do you ever wash it?

[SirFox]

It's red. Does it get violent?

[spare_change]

Do you ever wash it?

You should have gotten the kind that don't shrink.

[SirFox]

I jsut saw your Mom...she was with another man (besides your father...)

[spare_change]

You want in my pants? Might as well -- there's already one asshole in there!

[SirFox]

You should have gotten the kind that don't shrink.

Imagine an erection 24 hours a day without Viagra.

Bicycle stand at night and tent pole during the day,

[SirFox]

No wonder you were not a hit with the girls at school. You should be bappy that I am with youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.

[spare_change]

yes, dear, you're my very first ----- today.

[Sandy]

lmao:lmao

[Shiane]

1. I've smoked fatter joints than that.
2. Ahh, it's cute.
3. Who circumcised you?
4. Why don't we just cuddle?
5. You know they have surgery to fix that.
6. It's more fun to look at.
7. Make it dance.
8. You know, there's a tower in Italy like that.
9. Can I paint a smiley face on that?
10. It looks like a night crawler.
11. Wow, and your feet are so big.
12. My last boyfriend was 4'' bigger.
13. It's ok, we'll work around it.
14. Is this a mild or a spicy Slim Jim?
15. Eww, there's an inch worm on your thigh.
16. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?
17. Oh no, a flash headache.
18. (giggle and point)
19. Can I be honest with you?
20. My 8-year-old brother has one like that.
21. Let me go get my tweezers.
22. How sweet, you brought incense.
23. This explains your car.
24. You must be a growing boy.
25. Maybe if we water it, it'll grow.
26. Thanks, I needed a toothpick.
27. Are you one of those pygmies?
28. Have you ever thought of working in a sideshow?
29. Every heard of clearasil?
30. All right, a treasure hunt!
31. I didn't know they came that small.
32. Why is God punishing you?
33. At least this won't take long.
34. I never saw one like that before.
35. What do you call this?
36. But it still works, right?
37. Damn, I hate baby-sitting.
38. It looks so unused.
39. Do you take steroids?
40. I hear excessive masturbation shrinks it.
41. Maybe it looks better in natural light.
42. Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes?
43. Oh, I didn't know you were in an accident.
44. Did you date Lorena Bobbitt?
45. Aww, it's hiding.
46. Are you cold?
47. If you get me real drunk first.
48. Is that an optical illusion?
49. What is that?
50. I'll go get the ketchup for your french fry.
51. Were you neutered?
52. It's a good thing you have so many other talents.
53. Does it come with an air pump?
54. So this is why you're supposed to judge people on personality.
55. Where are the puppet strings?
56. Your big gun is more like a BB gun.
57. Look, it fits my Barbie clothes.
58. Never mind, why bother.
59. Is that a second belly button?
60. Where's the rest of it?

Some of these have already been posted, but my delete button is frozen!

[Norfolkdave]

you missed one..heh heh heh " get your toe out of my mouth"

[sweetgapeach]

It was OK!

[Cotties]

Shiane.....you have some issues girl......

[Krazi0469]

lmao......:lmao :lmao :lmao


you missed one..heh heh heh " get your toe out of my mouth"

[Sandy]

shiane you go girl..........lmao:lmao :lmao

[romancer522000]

and i thought i had heard em all Shiane thanks fior the headsup wont feel so bad now

[firefly]

Aaahhhh....now I understand why you use denim condoms.

Don't worry honey....it happens to alot of guys.

After seeing that you had better have just a whole lot of motion in your ocean.

[ksfirefighter]

Is that your key or are you just glad to see me?

:lmao

damn!

[surfnchat]

Can you put on a strap on? :lmao

[Wet Beaver]

"Oh why don't you just masturbate and get over it!?"

[SirFox]

1. I've smoked fatter joints than that.
2. Ahh, it's cute.
3. Who circumcised you?
4. Why don't we just cuddle?
.......
59. Is that a second belly button?
60. Where's the rest of it?
Some of these have already been posted, but my delete button is frozen!

SHIANE: That's a great list .. You going strong. Do post some more. Miss you.

[sweetgapeach]

That's it?

[Cotties]

No don't put in there it's the wrong hole..

I wish they would just mind their own business

[Norfolkdave]

"Darling" I have spend your barlycard

[sweetgapeach]

I love you.:D

[Norfolkdave]

Did that knife hurt

[spare_change]

I love you.:D


Oh nooooo!!! The fatal blow!!!!

[Sandy]

will you marry me ?:D

[Penny]

Oh my that would be the killer :D



will you marry me ?:D

[spare_change]

will you marry me ?:D


HISSSSSSSSTORRREEEEEEEEE !!!!

[SirFox]

Where you trying to make a point with me?

[Polo38]

i like you as a friend

[SirFox]

I have an (unannounced and unscheduled and made up) appointment now with the father of my girl ( when she originally said she was single without children)...

[Sandy]

lmao :D :lmao

[sweetgapeach]

<shrug> If you want too

[Barkiss]

<shrug> If you want too

it's more like...<shrug> Not really ;)

[sweetgapeach]

it's more like...<shrug> Not really ;)


Good one!!:lmao

[SirFox]

You remind me of a certain guy who loved guys.

[LadyNGeorgia]

LOL, is that it?

[Wet Beaver]

i use lager eggplants than that...

[Polo38]

no thanks i don't smoke...

[Norfolkdave]

" Im pregnant"

[sweetgapeach]

Hey,
We are going to be guest on the Jerry Springer show!

[Sandy]

:lmao i like that one sweet

[Barkiss]

Hey,
We are going to be guest on the Jerry Springer show!

This happened to me in my dreams one night...quite a nightmare!!

[Penny]

Did u get beat up :D

[Barkiss]

of course...I think it was by some woman who said I was screwing her mom, who was actually her aunt, but was married to her brother now. The actual problem though was I supposedly was married to her grandchild, who happened to be a transvestite...horrible I tell you, horrible!

[Sandy]

lol only you bar only you :D

[LadyNGeorgia]

I do know one thing, if anyone ever tells me they I am invited to be on the Jerry Springer Show, I am running and as fast as I can.




Hey,
We are going to be guest on the Jerry Springer show!

[Sandy]

lol after i kick some butt. i'm running to lol:wa:

[LadyNGeorgia]

So true, that might fighting be criteria.. lol not sure I could handle a Jerry Springer show.


lol after i kick some butt. i'm running to lol:wa:

[SirFox]

I have this infection... and I don't know where it comes from...and it hurts..

BTW, is Jerry Springer show for REAL or are the people on the show paid people who act? Does that really exist?

[spare_change]

of course...I think it was by some woman who said I was screwing her mom, who was actually her aunt, but was married to her brother now. The actual problem though was I supposedly was married to her grandchild, who happened to be a transvestite...horrible I tell you, horrible!

so you DID know my sister, huh?

[Annie]

"I'm out of estrogen, I have a gun, and I'm not afraid to use it!"

[zapher60]

"I'm out of estrogen, I have a gun, and I'm not afraid to use it!"

:lmao :lmao :lmao ..was that before or after his gun went off.

[Barkiss]

so you DID know my sister, huh?

oh my god!!!! Dad????

[sweetgapeach]

oh my god!!!! Dad????

:lmao :lmao :lmao

[sweetgapeach]

ok a scale 1 to 10

um 4 1/2

[Sandy]

are you ready to meet my parents ?

:D

[tulsasurgeon]

Yes

[skybird]

Worse thing is to ignore a man in the middle of a a conversation, by just walking away or by not answering his last message. :(

[Waltert]

and what is that little thing?

[SirFox]

oh my god!!!! Dad????

That reminds of the story of a chick and a guy who were chatting on an Internet dating service...the talked for two months and the panting got heavy over the wires.

They decided to meet in Chicago as the man had a business meeting there. He reserved the room. She arrived early...and entered the bedroom and stripped naked. He arrived a little later and did the same.

They made love..in the dark.

And when they turned on the light...."Oh My God...What are you doing here?"

It was daughter and father.


Moral of the story: don't lie to one another, and don't make love in the dark... (it isn't fun anyway...!)

[Sandy]

:lmao

[Waltert]

What scares me is everyone seems to know what the worrst thing to say is!
To a man
After sex

Does anyone know of a good thing to say

[sweetgapeach]

Worse thing is to ignore a man in the middle of a a conversation, by just walking away or by not answering his last message. :(


Maybe thats the problem in my marriage !! :lmao
j/k

[Waltert]

and who is ignoring whom

[sweetgapeach]

Your sleeping on the wet spot,cause it aint mine!!!

[SirFox]

Let's look at the positive things instead of the negative....

How about a new thread...What are the nice things to say and or do after sex?

I bet that would not be as popular as this thread. We are after all, human beings...and TEND to look at the negative to lighten up our lives or do we?

[Waltert]

well start it and see

[sex_kitten_4u]

Let's look at the positive things instead of the negative....

How about a new thread...What are the nice things to say and or do after sex?

I bet that would not be as popular as this thread. We are after all, human beings...and TEND to look at the negative to lighten up our lives or do we?

nice things ,
oh that is so easy ,
i just love when we kiss and cuddle up together and stroke each other after sex and talk and spend and hour or so like that it is great

[tiger50]

Is it in yet????

[Norfolkdave]

I'm glad we're going out. I got 8 kids at home that need a new dad.

[Sir_Dragon]

Can I use the remote?

[ravinghussy]

the worst thing 2 say 2 a man is wots that (penis) gonna be wen it grows up

[Penny]

Is it hard yet :D

[Sunfiresix]

After sex don't call him one of the Chipmonks names, even joking.

[sweetgapeach]

I swear if you Touch me again ............!

[ravinghussy]

After sex don't call him one of the Chipmonks names, even joking.

so u dont like being called theodore then????

[Penny]

Best one :D



I swear if you Touch me again ............!

[Barkiss]

Honey, Can you.....?

[sweetgapeach]

After sex don't call him one of the Chipmonks names, even joking.


After remarrying , I would sometimes call my new Hubby , my ex Hubby's name and OMG , I really didnt mean to say it , and Not during sex , but other times, I got in so much trouble :D

[sweetgapeach]

Honey, Can you.....?


Touch You ? You dont even have to ask !!

[ravinghussy]

r u standing a long way off??? haha

[Marika]

It's your turn to clean up our mess!

[Shiane]

30 seconds of wiggling your tongue is not really oral sex!

[Sandy]

is that it ?

[Sandy]

its your turn to watch the kids, i'm going out.

[Sunfiresix]

30 seconds of wiggling your tongue is not really oral sex!

Thats just my come hither look usually:D

[Zpanther]

"It's not so much that I think he's all that sexy. He just seems to understand and accept me for who I am."

[Shiane]

Thats just my come hither look usually:D

LOL Ohhhhhh well now I know!;)

[sweetgapeach]

Ewwww Get off me !!

[Norfolkdave]

" Thats my husband coming up the stairs"

[Eric69]

it looks like a penis only smaller

[Eric69]

30 seconds of wiggling your tongue is not really oral sex!

how about an hour or so Is that long enough?

[SirFox]

how about an hour or so Is that long enough?

That's really gross that stuff that came out of your thingy there.....

[upstr84u]

ohhhhhhhh by the way i drank the last beer

[Rainmaker]

ohhhhhhhh by the way i drank the last beer

lol-that sounds like me

[SirFox]

lol-that sounds like me

Should you be changing your name from RAINMAKER to BEERMAKER?

[Zifnab]

are you in yet?

[Rainmaker]

Should you be changing your name from RAINMAKER to BEERMAKER?

nahh-i love the rain more;)

[SirFox]

Are you finished? By the way,while you are at it, will you hand me my vibrator?

[Zifnab]

could you sneeze again? I think I felt it then!

[Rainmaker]

wake me up when u r done

[Zifnab]

was that you? you didn't get anything on me did you?

[Rainmaker]

does it always look like that?

[Sandy]

at leasy my vibrator can make me cum. :D

[G...G]

Is it in yet?

[Zifnab]

Is it in yet?
I already used that one!

[Wet Beaver]

why is your brother so much bigger than you??

[Sunfiresix]

I have ten minutes if you really need it......

[Jy]

Beige. I'll paint the ceiling beige.

[Eric69]

are you blonde Jazzy?

[Wet Beaver]

are you blonde Jazzy?


ohhhhhhh someone get the popcorn...this should be good.......go get him sis....

[Zifnab]

ohhhhhhh someone get the popcorn...this should be good.......go get him sis....
I have popcorn do you have the cold ones?

[Wet Beaver]

I have popcorn do you have the cold ones?

dr pepper and coke........want to snuggle and watch??:D

[Zifnab]

dr pepper and coke........want to snuggle and watch??:D
sounds like a plan....

[blanjas3]

did you cum already?:D

[Jy]

...uh...no-o...are you stupid Eric?


are you blonde Jazzy?

[Zifnab]

dr pepper and coke........want to snuggle and watch??:D
Hurry up WB the show has started!!!!

[Sandy]

hey i wanna watch to. :D

[Zifnab]

hey i wanna watch to. :D
we can make room.... what are you bringing?

[Jy]

I still have no idea why he asked me that. I only posted a silly reply to the thread, which is what everyone else has been doing. I can't WAIT to hear his explanation. I think I'll just sit down and get comfy while I wait to hear this!
Pass me the popcorn Zif? I think I'll just snuggle in here beside WB. Oops! Sorry Sandy! Didn't mean to grab your butt!
Well, actually I did mean to...

[Sandy]

cool does that mean i can grab to ? i'll bring the cheese and crackers. :D

[Jy]

I thought you'd never ask. Go ahead honey.

OoOoohh! Cheese and crackers! Mmmm!

[Sandy]

oh boy this could be alot of fun. :D

[Penny]

:D



why is your brother so much bigger than you??

[Barkiss]

I already used that one!

And WB used it on 11/28 ;)

[Wet Beaver]

And WB used it on 11/28 ;)

and it is still to dang small......:na

[Barkiss]

and it is still to dang small......:na

I have admitted that...you don't need to rub it in...;)

[Wet Beaver]

I still have no idea why he asked me that. I only posted a silly reply to the thread, which is what everyone else has been doing. I can't WAIT to hear his explanation. I think I'll just sit down and get comfy while I wait to hear this!
Pass me the popcorn Zif? I think I'll just snuggle in here beside WB. Oops! Sorry Sandy! Didn't mean to grab your butt!
Well, actually I did mean to...

should we use zif and a footrest....after we steal his popcorn???

[Cotties]

Hey Jazzy in his defence I did giggle a wee bit. :D don't feel in the spot light it could have been lots of different girls he let that one go at. My mothers blonde and would kick lots of ass if she heard some of the male comments from this place..I still have no idea why he asked me that. I only posted a silly reply to the thread, which is what everyone else has been doing. I can't WAIT to hear his explanation. I think I'll just sit down and get comfy while I wait to hear this!
Pass me the popcorn Zif? I think I'll just snuggle in here beside WB. Oops! Sorry Sandy! Didn't mean to grab your butt!
Well, actually I did mean to...

[Norfolkdave]

I got the wines, nice house reds

[Zifnab]

should we use zif and a footrest....after we steal his popcorn???
It is so nice to be loved.....

[Norfolkdave]

Dont forget to bring your credit card

[Shiane]

Your boobies are bigger than mine :D

[Sandy]

:lmao too true.

[SirFox]

Your boobies are bigger than mine :D

SHAINE: Look at it this way: I don't have any boobs.. so relax......Enjoy what have you. SMILE.

[Penny]

Have you seen my husband :lmao



Your boobies are bigger than mine :D

[blanjas3]

penny,
thats is funny..........lol

[Penny]

I hope he dont see this :(

[blanjas3]

something tells me ..he would laugh......:D

[Sandy]

i agree. i think he would be rolling. :lmao

[Wet Beaver]

honey..it is your turn to take out the chamber pots......

[MCat]

honey..it is your turn to take out the chamber pots......

Gotta use the little guy a couple times here...:lmao :lmao

[Zifnab]

I still wish I could find that thing.....

[Sandy]

where did i put my flashlight and tweezers ?

[Jy]

I really think you're a great guy, but can we just be friends?

[Jy]

I'd really like to just cuddle and talk about our feelings tonight.

[Zifnab]

ouch!!! that isn't experience there is it Jazzy?

[Jy]

Nah, I don't want to talk about our feelings honey, I just want to get laid!!

[Zifnab]

Nah, I don't want to talk about our feelings honey, I just want to get laid!!Again? So I do still remember something!

[Jy]

You seem to remember alot, big guy...

[Zifnab]

You seem to remember alot, big guy...I must admit I never saw that trick with the bar of soap before! was VERY impressed!

[Jy]

Well, thanks honey! Glad you liked it! Wait until you see what else I have in my bag of tricks!

[Zifnab]

Well, thanks honey! Glad you liked it! Wait until you see what else I have in my bag of tricks!
I should find my bag of tricks. I know I still have it around here somewhere.....

[Norfolkdave]

Nah, I don't want to talk about our feelings honey, I just want to get laid!!

Jesus when i do Mount Edna will become an Icon:lmao

[Zifnab]

Jesus when i do Mount Edna will become an Icon:lmaoWere not her words like the sound of angels singing? I'll tell you my knees still get weak when I read those blessed words! better be carefull here I may wax poetic again!

[sweetgapeach]

God , It's only been a year , Stop whining !

[Zifnab]

What do you use that for?

[Cotties]

I think this is still the cruelest

What about......... Have you thought about getting an enlargement?its so cute!

[italian_princess0420]

"we need to talk"

[Cotties]

Thats a good one. Just reading that made my up upper lip curl with discomfort "we need to talk"

[sweetgapeach]

Whats that smell ?

[Cotties]

That sure makes me extra nervous when I know the bad smell isn't mine and then have to point out its her:D


sorry sweetgapeach but I smelllll gggoooooooddddd
Whats that smell ?

[tiger50]

That sure makes me extra nervous when I know the bad smell isn't mine and then have to point out its her:D


sorry sweetgapeach but I smelllll gggoooooooddddd

mate , did u fart????? :lmao :lmao

[Cotties]

could have,:sc what did it smell like?mate , did u fart????? :lmao :lmao

[tiger50]

could have,:sc what did it smell like?

mm mixture of ded rat, an distilled roo gutz... :D

[Cotties]

Its not me then Tiger. Does the smell get stronger when you bend over?mm mixture of ded rat, an distilled roo gutz... :D

[tiger50]

Its not me then Tiger. Does the smell get stronger when you bend over?

arseole...lol... can also detect tha smell of stale cotties cordial....:lmao :lmao

[Cotties]

It can't go stale mate. Its far too sweetarseole...lol... can also detect tha smell of stale cotties cordial....:lmao :lmao

[tiger50]

It can't go stale mate. Its far too sweat

mmmm not sweat enuff.... awwww makin me crook mate... :vs:

[Sandy]

pull my finger

[Zifnab]

pull my fingerthats my dog's favorite trick!

[Sandy]

lol my grandpas to. :D










thats my dog's favorite trick!

[meandyouido]

maybe

[Aubree]

1

[Norfolkdave]

Aubree I have and wow, instant erection of sustantable interest I tell you.

[Aubree]

Aubree I have and wow, instant erection of sustantable interest I tell you.
Sounds very nice - please submit your application on my thead for "What are you doing right now". I might have to make it a UK cruise - LOL

[Sunder61]

Ohhhh put that little thing in me....... lol that would be funny......later. lol

[Aubree]

1

[Cotties]

Were you in a car crash or something

[pinkpussyliz]

I didn't realise you were a virgin.