Intimacy

[Torin]

What does it mean, to you personally?

Is it a part of sex... completely about sex... or does it have nothing to do with sex?

When I think of being intimate, sex immediately comes to mind. But I know there is much more to it than that... I'm just having trouble wrapping my head around it.

For a very long time, I have considered intimacy to require a vulnerableness that I am just not willing to show... but it has recently been pointed out to me that I may not be looking at this the right way.

So, what are the most intimate things to you? Are sex and intimacy the same?

[Sweetbliss]

Being intimate isn't just about sex for me. Intimacy involves everything about that one person. The love you see in their eyes, a special look, touch or knoweldge that you are completely loved by that one person. Intimacy involves a level of trust that is beyond anything else. Intimacy is knowing everything about that person and loving it all, accepting it all. True intimacy with a person is the deepest feeling there is.

Maybe one day I'll have it.

[kaycee727(m)]

when I was younger intimacy was all about sex. Getting it wet as we said. That has all changed with maturity. Yes we do mature! I think our raging hormones subside a bit and ,at least for me, I want to make my partner feel special. To get more intimate ,be closer almost wanting to crawl inside her and be warm all over together!

[Asperror]

Intimacy.....is my mind....is everything leading up to sex that makes it better.

From the little things you do for one and another to show you care....flowers to show you care....tickets to a show she really wants to she.....making her a cup of coffee in the morning. How you treat one another opens more doors to have a better intimacy in your relationship...why you ask? It make you want to be with them in a closer fashion...and this adds to your physical relationship.

[Sylar]

I think of intimacy as an abstract concept...a feeling...an emotion that can be felt in any situation, most powerfully with someone you truly love.


I equate it to feeling "close" or "connected" with someone on a deeper level, a spiritual level, if you will. I can feel "intimate" in just about any situation with the woman I love. It could be a glance, a full hug, snuggling, holding hands, laughing together, making love, or even having "freaky" sex. The action doesn't necessarily matter. It's your shared emotional exposure that expresses the intimacy you feel.

I believe it comes down to how open you are with your partner. If you are truly exposed, open, and vulnerable to your partner, having let him or her see the very deepest parts of you, good and bad, and can feel comfortable that they see, know, and love it. Intimacy is inevitable.

Trust is key. You must be able to trust someone with all the parts of you. If you find that trust in your partner, and are willing to allow them the opportunity to Love and cherish all that you give of your heart, and they offer the same for you, that connection, that closeness will be there.

Ya know, I just realized how much I'm typing here...I can't help but wonder how many different ways there are to describe what I feel on this subject...I think I can sum it up best with this:

True intimacy is when you can crawl inside each other's deepest places, and there feel warm, safe, loved, and cherished above all else in this world...

[Barkiss]

I think of intimacy as an abstract concept...a feeling...an emotion that can be felt in any situation, most powerfully with someone you truly love.


I equate it to feeling "close" or "connected" with someone on a deeper level, a spiritual level, if you will. I can feel "intimate" in just about any situation with the woman I love. It could be a glance, a full hug, snuggling, holding hands, laughing together, making love, or even having "freaky" sex. The action doesn't necessarily matter. It's your shared emotional exposure that expresses the intimacy you feel.

I believe it comes down to how open you are with your partner. If you are truly exposed, open, and vulnerable to your partner, having let him or her see the very deepest parts of you, good and bad, and can feel comfortable that they see, know, and love it. Intimacy is inevitable.

Trust is key. You must be able to trust someone with all the parts of you. If you find that trust in your partner, and are willing to allow them the opportunity to Love and cherish all that you give of your heart, and they offer the same for you, that connection, that closeness will be there.

Ya know, I just realized how much I'm typing here...I can't help but wonder how many different ways there are to describe what I feel on this subject...I think I can sum it up best with this:

True intimacy is when you can crawl inside each other's deepest places, and there feel warm, safe, loved, and cherished above all else in this world...

Excellent...I was about to write my response; however I don't think I could have said it better. Kudos!

[Torin]

I think of intimacy as an abstract concept...a feeling...an emotion that can be felt in any situation, most powerfully with someone you truly love.


I equate it to feeling "close" or "connected" with someone on a deeper level, a spiritual level, if you will. I can feel "intimate" in just about any situation with the woman I love. It could be a glance, a full hug, snuggling, holding hands, laughing together, making love, or even having "freaky" sex. The action doesn't necessarily matter. It's your shared emotional exposure that expresses the intimacy you feel.

I believe it comes down to how open you are with your partner. If you are truly exposed, open, and vulnerable to your partner, having let him or her see the very deepest parts of you, good and bad, and can feel comfortable that they see, know, and love it. Intimacy is inevitable.

Trust is key. You must be able to trust someone with all the parts of you. If you find that trust in your partner, and are willing to allow them the opportunity to Love and cherish all that you give of your heart, and they offer the same for you, that connection, that closeness will be there.

Ya know, I just realized how much I'm typing here...I can't help but wonder how many different ways there are to describe what I feel on this subject...I think I can sum it up best with this:

True intimacy is when you can crawl inside each other's deepest places, and there feel warm, safe, loved, and cherished above all else in this world...

Beautiful post, Yasha... thank you so much for replying. :kk

[REDBUD74]

i think it goes deeper than sex torin...u can have sex, w/out being intimate.
Intimacy to me means ur are connected, heart, body, soul, and mind and when it turns sexual there is this connection of all 4 and it is SPLENDIFEROUS

[Sylar]

i think it goes deeper than sex torin...u can have sex, w/out being intimate.
Intimacy to me means ur are connected, heart, body, soul, and mind and when it turns sexual there is this connection of all 4 and it is SPLENDIFEROUS

I like that word...Splendiferous. Gotta jot that down...:D

[Sylar]

Beautiful post, Yasha... thank you so much for replying. :kk

Thank you, love...but did you really think you would post a whole THREAD and me stay away? :D

[Torin]

i think it goes deeper than sex torin...u can have sex, w/out being intimate.
Intimacy to me means ur are connected, heart, body, soul, and mind and when it turns sexual there is this connection of all 4 and it is SPLENDIFEROUS

I think therein lies my problem... Most of my life has been sexual, yet not intimate, because of MY desire to keep a safe distance emotionally.

And I want to change that... things are already changing, for the better. Intimacy is scary to me, honestly. But I want it, and I crave it, and I have the perfect person to share it with-- so I want to take that leap of faith, and open up myself to intimacy...

I am standing on the edge of a cliff, wanting to jump, and just not sure what I am jumping into, if that makes ANY sense, lol.

[REDBUD74]

Once you make that leap of faith you will enter a whole new realm...i am confident yasha will catch you hun

[Sylar]

I think therein lies my problem... Most of my life has been sexual, yet not intimate, because of MY desire to keep a safe distance emotionally.

And I want to change that... things are already changing, for the better. Intimacy is scary to me, honestly. But I want it, and I crave it, and I have the perfect person to share it with-- so I want to take that leap of faith, and open up myself to intimacy...

I am standing on the edge of a cliff, wanting to jump, and just not sure what I am jumping into, if that makes ANY sense, lol.

If I may...I believe you are jumping into my arms, my angel. :kk

[WandaRing]

What does it mean, to you personally?
I think intimacy is build upon a connection, a feeling of safety, comfort and openness between two people. It’s that special closeness, the familiarity and cherishing of another human. You know when your chatting with someone and you get so into the conversation the time flies by...it's that feeling.

Is it a part of sex... completely about sex... or does it have nothing to do with sex?
I think you can have sex with anyone; it’s only when you feel that connection and closeness to someone does it become intimate. You can be intimate with a close friend and not have sex nor have a desire to have sex with them.

When I think of being intimate, sex immediately comes to mind. But I know there is much more to it than that... I'm just having trouble wrapping my head around it.
Torin, maybe you think that way because it’s natural for you to, Yasha and you seem to have a deep closeness and cherish each other very much, so maybe it’s hard for you to understand how sex can be just sex when you have such a great relationship. Try imagining having sex with a guy who doesn’t turn you on, who is out for himself and cares only about himself.

For a very long time, I have considered intimacy to require a vulnerableness that I am just not willing to show... but it has recently been pointed out to me that I may not be looking at this the right way.
Torin you already have shown and shared your vulnerableness with Yasha, you let him in your life, you had children together and you built a life together. You’ve been open and helpful to a lot of people in here, myself included. You gave a piece of yourself to us, if that is not vulnerable I dont know what is.

So, what are the most intimate things to you? Are sex and intimacy the same?
Sometimes just talking with a very close friend about personal disappointments, and other life issues can be intimate, it’s all about the trust, the safety and the openness between two people. It doesn’t always have to be about sex. It’s about you and the person infront of you.

[Torin]

What does it mean, to you personally?
I think intimacy is build upon a connection, a feeling of safety, comfort and openness between two people. It’s that special closeness, the familiarity and cherishing of another human. You know when your chatting with someone and you get so into the conversation the time flies by...it's that feeling.

Is it a part of sex... completely about sex... or does it have nothing to do with sex?
I think you can have sex with anyone; it’s only when you feel that connection and closeness to someone does it become intimate. You can be intimate with a close friend and not have sex nor have a desire to have sex with them.

When I think of being intimate, sex immediately comes to mind. But I know there is much more to it than that... I'm just having trouble wrapping my head around it.
Torin, maybe you think that way because it’s natural for you to, Yasha and you seem to have a deep closeness and cherish each other very much, so maybe it’s hard for you to understand how sex can be just sex when you have such a great relationship. Try imagining having sex with a guy who doesn’t turn you on, who is out for himself and cares only about himself.

For a very long time, I have considered intimacy to require a vulnerableness that I am just not willing to show... but it has recently been pointed out to me that I may not be looking at this the right way.
Torin you already have shown and shared your vulnerableness with Yasha, you let him in your life, you had children together and you built a life together. You’ve been open and helpful to a lot of people in here, myself included. You gave a piece of yourself to us, if that is not vulnerable I dont know what is.

So, what are the most intimate things to you? Are sex and intimacy the same?
Sometimes just talking with a very close friend about personal disappointments, and other life issues can be intimate, it’s all about the trust, the safety and the openness between two people. It doesn’t always have to be about sex. It’s about you and the person infront of you.

Goodness, I just love you Annie. :kk

Maybe you are right... maybe it has been here all along, but just not in the form, or the glaring obviousness that I thought it should have. You have given me a lot to think about.... thank you. :hug:

[Torin]

If I may...I believe you are jumping into my arms, my angel. :kk

I know that I am... and it is my very favorite place to be. :kk

[WandaRing]

Goodness, I just love you Annie. :kk

Maybe you are right... maybe it has been here all along, but just not in the form, or the glaring obviousness that I thought it should have. You have given me a lot to think about.... thank you. :hug:
You are sooooo welcome, you will find your answers Torin....this place is always getting us to think and rethink--I love it cuase I learn so much from others

[Nick182]

Intimacy... to me... is the small things I share with my wife. For instance when we're alone spooning on the couch watching a movie with no cares in the world but each others company. Or when we open our arms to each other, and just hug because there is no one we're more comfortable with but each other.

I guess for me... comfort & opening up to each other plays a big part in Intimacy.

[private beaches]

I think of intimacy as an abstract concept...a feeling...an emotion that can be felt in any situation, most powerfully with someone you truly love.


I equate it to feeling "close" or "connected" with someone on a deeper level, a spiritual level, if you will. I can feel "intimate" in just about any situation with the woman I love. It could be a glance, a full hug, snuggling, holding hands, laughing together, making love, or even having "freaky" sex. The action doesn't necessarily matter. It's your shared emotional exposure that expresses the intimacy you feel.

I believe it comes down to how open you are with your partner. If you are truly exposed, open, and vulnerable to your partner, having let him or her see the very deepest parts of you, good and bad, and can feel comfortable that they see, know, and love it. Intimacy is inevitable.

Trust is key. You must be able to trust someone with all the parts of you. If you find that trust in your partner, and are willing to allow them the opportunity to Love and cherish all that you give of your heart, and they offer the same for you, that connection, that closeness will be there.

Ya know, I just realized how much I'm typing here...I can't help but wonder how many different ways there are to describe what I feel on this subject...I think I can sum it up best with this:

True intimacy is when you can crawl inside each other's deepest places, and there feel warm, safe, loved, and cherished above all else in this world...

Beautifully put Yasha! Thank you!:wa:

[sweet]

I think of intimacy as an abstract concept...a feeling...an emotion that can be felt in any situation, most powerfully with someone you truly love.


I equate it to feeling "close" or "connected" with someone on a deeper level, a spiritual level, if you will. I can feel "intimate" in just about any situation with the woman I love. It could be a glance, a full hug, snuggling, holding hands, laughing together, making love, or even having "freaky" sex. The action doesn't necessarily matter. It's your shared emotional exposure that expresses the intimacy you feel.

I believe it comes down to how open you are with your partner. If you are truly exposed, open, and vulnerable to your partner, having let him or her see the very deepest parts of you, good and bad, and can feel comfortable that they see, know, and love it. Intimacy is inevitable.

Trust is key. You must be able to trust someone with all the parts of you. If you find that trust in your partner, and are willing to allow them the opportunity to Love and cherish all that you give of your heart, and they offer the same for you, that connection, that closeness will be there.

Ya know, I just realized how much I'm typing here...I can't help but wonder how many different ways there are to describe what I feel on this subject...I think I can sum it up best with this:

True intimacy is when you can crawl inside each other's deepest places, and there feel warm, safe, loved, and cherished above all else in this world...

My thoughts exactly. Very well put!

[Zarret]

I think of intimacy as an abstract concept...a feeling...an emotion that can be felt in any situation, most powerfully with someone you truly love.


I equate it to feeling "close" or "connected" with someone on a deeper level, a spiritual level, if you will. I can feel "intimate" in just about any situation with the woman I love. It could be a glance, a full hug, snuggling, holding hands, laughing together, making love, or even having "freaky" sex. The action doesn't necessarily matter. It's your shared emotional exposure that expresses the intimacy you feel.

I believe it comes down to how open you are with your partner. If you are truly exposed, open, and vulnerable to your partner, having let him or her see the very deepest parts of you, good and bad, and can feel comfortable that they see, know, and love it. Intimacy is inevitable.

Trust is key. You must be able to trust someone with all the parts of you. If you find that trust in your partner, and are willing to allow them the opportunity to Love and cherish all that you give of your heart, and they offer the same for you, that connection, that closeness will be there.

Ya know, I just realized how much I'm typing here...I can't help but wonder how many different ways there are to describe what I feel on this subject...I think I can sum it up best with this:

True intimacy is when you can crawl inside each other's deepest places, and there feel warm, safe, loved, and cherished above all else in this world...

This was truly spoken from you soul.....beautiful

[Kevin7284]

feeling of closeness is absent in my life. ...... i can sex myself all day long and beleive me i have in the wank a thon of 89 but i miss the soft touch of someone. that isnt about sex.

[Zarret]

feeling of closeness is absent in my life. ...... i can sex myself all day long and beleive me i have in the wank a thon of 89 but i miss the soft touch of someone. that isnt about sex.

I hope you find the soft touch that can replace the emptiness.

[Kevin7284]

I hope you find the soft touch that can replace the emptiness.


in a way zarret you just gave me a soft touch and i thank you for that. :kk

[Zarret]

in a way zarret you just gave me a soft touch and i thank you for that. :kk

You're so very welcome anytime :kk

[Kevin7284]

You're so very welcome anytime :kk


shucks now i ma blushing......

[Zarret]

shucks now i ma blushing......

I love a man that can blush ;)

[Kevin7284]

I love a man that can blush ;)


then my dear love away because i am blushing away. ... ;)

[Sneaky]

Intimacy makes the sexual part SO MUCH better.


It's being able to share yourself with another. The good parts, the funny stories, your successes (and you are met with encouragement & enthusiasm when you do), and your joys, and shining moments.

But to me the more difficult part, and the part that is necessary for true intimacy is to share your shortcomings, your heartbreaks, what you feel you fail on, and sides of yourself that you are not proud of. This is the harder part for me, and for most people. But, after you share these things with someone, and they do the same with you....THAT is when the real intimacy starts.

And fighting....NOBODY likes to fight, it's no fun.....but when you can have a healthy "clearing of the air", get past it and work it out with kindness and respect.....and you feel that close connection with another? That's when there is true intimacy....

Make up sex rocks. ;) Just sayin.

[Huzyerdaddi]

I once dated a girl named Macy, but I wasn't inti her much.

Ok, sorry ya'll...had to make a joke...it's who I am. But there is a serious side too.

Intimacy has been well defined in many of the posts here, imo. I don't know how to describe all the ingredients but I think I know what the finished product looks like. I see the 75 + year old couples, sitting on the park bench, moving around the store, helping each other. The way she looks at him....she knows EVERYTHING. He's loved her, hurt her, adored her, disappointed her, praised her, and criticized her for more years than many of us have been alive. Yet look how she looks at him. And him, once strong, the provider, the protector, the defender....now being helped by her and loved more than ever.....

....It seems to me that is the product of a lifetime of shared intimacy. I doubt that the couples I'm describing lived a life guarding their hearts from one another. No, I'm pretty certain they took the risk and made themselves vulnerable...and it worked!

[Sneaky]

The way she looks at him....she knows EVERYTHING. He's loved her, hurt her, adored her, disappointed her, praised her, and criticized her for more years than many of us have been alive. Yet look how she looks at him. And him, once strong, the provider, the protector, the defender....now being helped by her and loved more than ever.....

....It seems to me that is the product of a lifetime of shared intimacy. I doubt that the couples I'm describing lived a life guarding their hearts from one another. No, I'm pretty certain they took the risk and made themselves vulnerable...and it worked!

Perfect discription. Very touching.

[3ch17ro]

i think that it is beyond sex, sex is an act an means to an end, intimacy goes much farther, broadening that path between two people that is shared just them, knowing glances, favorite songs, private jokes. all this deepened by the love shared between the two. you can be "intimate" with anyone, but i think you are meaning the significant in your life. in that regard, it is private moments, like lights strung along the path of life you share which brightens and enlightens both your lives, not separate, but together. of course, there is intimacy in sex, depending on the act and how involved. is it, wham-bam thank you mam, or is it tender, knowing touches and brushes of skin, long deep, gentle kisses. each almost knowing each other's body and mind and feelings. this to me is sexual intimacy.

[TheTurtle]

I think of intimacy as an abstract concept...a feeling...an emotion that can be felt in any situation, most powerfully with someone you truly love.


I equate it to feeling "close" or "connected" with someone on a deeper level, a spiritual level, if you will. I can feel "intimate" in just about any situation with the woman I love. It could be a glance, a full hug, snuggling, holding hands, laughing together, making love, or even having "freaky" sex. The action doesn't necessarily matter. It's your shared emotional exposure that expresses the intimacy you feel.

I believe it comes down to how open you are with your partner. If you are truly exposed, open, and vulnerable to your partner, having let him or her see the very deepest parts of you, good and bad, and can feel comfortable that they see, know, and love it. Intimacy is inevitable.

Trust is key. You must be able to trust someone with all the parts of you. If you find that trust in your partner, and are willing to allow them the opportunity to Love and cherish all that you give of your heart, and they offer the same for you, that connection, that closeness will be there.

Ya know, I just realized how much I'm typing here...I can't help but wonder how many different ways there are to describe what I feel on this subject...I think I can sum it up best with this:

True intimacy is when you can crawl inside each other's deepest places, and there feel warm, safe, loved, and cherished above all else in this world...

You show great wisdom for your age, grasshopper! :55

[Jabbuk]

I agree with Yasha. To me, intimacy is when you are with someone and all the walls are down. You are hiding nothing, and not just passively, you are actively making sure that you are broadcasting your emotions and trust. It's when any question asked does not cause you to go into the 'flight or fight" syndrome, but rather you simply answer, with no regrets. Any touch is acceptable, any thought verballized is wanted. I guess it's just surrendering to your partner. All of you and who you are, even if only for a few moments.

[Dir]

Intimacy for me is understand each witout need a word , intimacy is being one in heart and soul everytime, everysecond , intimacy is never hurt the other because i hurts myself ...intimacy is love ...

[Lacey]

Intimacy is something shared .....that you share with no one else.

[Huzyerdaddi]

You're very sweet. :kk



Intimacy is something shared .....that you share with no one else.

[Lacey]

You're very sweet. :kk





You're like sugar!!:kk

[Huzyerdaddi]

Awww....and I like it sweet and low. ;)



You're like sugar!!:kk

[9inches]

What does it mean, to you personally?

Is it a part of sex... completely about sex... or does it have nothing to do with sex?

When I think of being intimate, sex immediately comes to mind. But I know there is much more to it than that... I'm just having trouble wrapping my head around it.

For a very long time, I have considered intimacy to require a vulnerableness that I am just not willing to show... but it has recently been pointed out to me that I may not be looking at this the right way.

So, what are the most intimate things to you? Are sex and intimacy the same?

intimacy is deeper that sex........To me is a thing you can do without, it may not be only sex " Simple you're found of it"

[Lacey]

Awww....and I like it sweet and low. ;)





To be my Equal ..........you have to be Splenda:)

[Huzyerdaddi]

Sounds very artificial....with me, it's all natural.

To be my Equal ..........you have to be Splenda:)

[Lacey]

Sounds very artificial....with me, it's all natural.






I'll show you natural,Baby!!

[Huzyerdaddi]

Mmmm....sounds healthy.



I'll show you natural,Baby!!

[9inches]

I'll show you natural,Baby!!

Won't mind

[pointofnoreturn]

Intimacy is just being a part of them in their soul....Feeling there happiness and their pain...

[WandaRing]

feeling of closeness is absent in my life. ...... i can sex myself all day long and beleive me i have in the wank a thon of 89 but i miss the soft touch of someone. that isnt about sex.
although I dont know what a thon of 89 is or are...I agree with you, it's not about the sex...it's that closeness to someone and that closeness has been absent a very, very long time in my life...I dont even know what it looks or feels like any more :(

[pointofnoreturn]

Wank a thon??????OMG Intimacy by yourself is not intimacy. But I do agree it is not about sex only......closeness to the other....

[Kevin7284]

Wank a thon??????OMG Intimacy by yourself is not intimacy. But I do agree it is not about sex only......closeness to the other....

you know a wank a thon ........... see how many times in one day you can wank off. .... i wanted to see if i would run dry...... i didnt but i got sore.

[Kevin7284]

although I dont know what a thon of 89 is or are...I agree with you, it's not about the sex...it's that closeness to someone and that closeness has been absent a very, very long time in my life...I dont even know what it looks or feels like any more :(


sends you a gentle hug

[9inches]

Intimacy is just being a part of them in their soul....Feeling there happiness and their pain...


Youre right, I feel that words ....i only hope u can share mine

[breeced1129]

To me it is cuddling near a fire or infront of the TV. Knowing that the other person feels for you just like you do for him/her. I don't relate sex and intimacy. Intimacy is much deeper.

[9inches]

To me it is cuddling near a fire or infront of the TV. Knowing that the other person feels for you just like you do for him/her. I don't relate sex and intimacy. Intimacy is much deeper.


yes i agree with you

[sexytiger]

Itimacy is being close and being able to talk about anything.

[9inches]

Itimacy is being close and being able to talk about anything.


You are right. Being able to open up anything

[spare_change]

Intimacy is breathing in when she breathes out.

[MCat]

Intimacy is breathing in when she breathes out.


Thats really, really close.....

[fly]

Intimacy is telling him that secret that you've guarded close to your heart for years.......and having him love you all the more for it.

[Torin]

Intimacy is breathing in when she breathes out.

That is beautiful, Spare.

[OICurready4me]

Intimacy is staring into your lovers eyes and knowing exactly what their desires, wishes and dreams are, without uttering a syllable.

[MIGHTY]

Intimacy is never being close enough, regardless of how close you are. Wanting deeper, more, farther.......just to feel them within.......your body, your heart, your soul. Intimacy is unity. Intimacy is one.

[mower]

Intimacy is what is missing from my life

[PlayfulMale69]

Intimacy is knowing each other so well we know what each other is thinking. It is knowing each other and our imperfections and enjoying those things that are not perfect as we both strive to be better for each other. It is sacrificial love for one another.

[spare_change]

Intimacy is what is missing from my life


That just might be the truest definition of all.

[Zarret]

That just might be the truest definition of all.

Originally Posted by mower
Intimacy is what is missing from my life


Oh you guys......need a hug....:knuddel: :kk

[9inches]

Intimacy is breathing in when she breathes out.


I agree with that :wa:

[Chuck037]

intimacy is a bond between two people that understand each other very well.