I have a question....

[Kissie]

I know I have not been around lately so I have missed alot of what has been going on around the site....
Logging on today a couple times trying to catch up...which is going to take me forever...you all were busy while I was home caring for my Mom the last 3 weeks!!!!
Why are so many people (lovely people) leaving the site??? I realize they have life to care for...but can't they do what I do...and take time off...and come back when they can...instead of just blowing the site off totally????
I just dont understand...you make such good friends (supposedly) and then just drop them like they dont matter????? Guess I am just to nieve....

[Sensual Woman]

I don't know the answer. Sometimes life gets in the way. I left the site for a couple of weeks this winter due to some health issues, but came back because I really missed the people.

[angelis]

I don't know why people are leaving either, Kissie (btw, nice to see you!!!)
I guess things get in the way, people's circumstances change. Perhaps the people who have left have found what they wanted from the site, or maybe they dealt with issues outwith this place.

[Kissie]

I guess your right Hun....(great to see you too) just hurts to see so many of the good ones go....

[trausersnake]

People come and go in the real world too. Why should this site be any different?

[flybabe]

People come and go in the real world too. Why should this site be any different?


Good point trauser..........I get so tired of the goodbye threads tho.
Guess some flaw in me would rather people just leave quietly or something. I don't rightly know why those bother me so much. Maybe cuz I expect MOST of them to show up again at some point so they seem so pointless.
Or maybe it feels like an attention grabber....
I dunno.

[Kissie]

whatever...like I said I guess I am just to nieve.....

[private beaches]

I think youre right trauser. People have different motivations/needs for being here. But I think that the very fact that Penny created such a great place for married people to come and share/socialize- this place will never be forgotten even for those that leave. People come into our lives and leave a very special mark that touches us forever. When they leave, we are sad but know that they are trying to do what they feel is right for them at the time.

[RedVixen]

whatever...like I said I guess I am just to nieve.....

You're not naive, just very caring hun and it's nice to see you back :kk I hope your Mom is doing better.

[trausersnake]

Kissie,
You are so not nieve! Nobody likes to say goodbye and we all do it a different way. Some will make a long protracted speech while others will simply disapear. The fact that you do not understand why does not make you nieve. We all miss people that become part of our lives when they are gone. It will be like that when we are 5 and when we are 95.

whatever...like I said I guess I am just to nieve.....

[Kissie]

Yes she is...

I just know being a military wife...we keep in touch with alot of people that we have met along the way...very hard to say good-bye!!!!

[flybabe]

Yes she is...

I just know being a military wife...we keep in touch with alot of people that we have met along the way...very hard to say good-bye!!!!


Yeah it is............:(

[kjguy43]

I am always leaving and coming back, life gets crazy, when it slows down, I come back to the roots. I think some people think this site can help them achieve something, when it fails they leave!

[SaltyLime]

I know I seemingly disappeared not long ago, but not by choice. Whatever the reason may be, I don't understand how people can leave friends behind. Perhaps they were "different types" of friends to begin with.

[MCat]

Hey Kissie.....if I recall the ones that said they are leaving recently have already come back...see they can't stay away....

[Kissie]

well like I said I have been gone for 3 weeks taking care of family business...it just seems everytime I come back...someone is leaving...they always seem to do it when I am gone so I can never say good-bye....guess it is better that way!!!

[dixiechiknga]

Well we are glad your back I hope to chat with you sometime, Dixiechik

[Kissie]

I see your from GA too.....I am here in GA...

[UltimateNaneki]

I know I have not been around lately so I have missed alot of what has been going on around the site....
Logging on today a couple times trying to catch up...which is going to take me forever...you all were busy while I was home caring for my Mom the last 3 weeks!!!!
Why are so many people (lovely people) leaving the site??? I realize they have life to care for...but can't they do what I do...and take time off...and come back when they can...instead of just blowing the site off totally????
I just dont understand...you make such good friends (supposedly) and then just drop them like they dont matter????? Guess I am just to nieve....

Well Kissie, I understand your point. I have been here less often. You remember ME, here 24/7 if I could get away with it. I have been thinking alot and believe me it was not all good thinking either. I have decided in my little wisdom, not to leave the site cause, damn it all my friends are here, but rather pace myself. So I'm not here all the time,so what!
If you had noticed, I have also changed my title...to Spam Detector...damn there is lots of that crap around her.
So in conclusion...I have not left, I'm still around but not has a permanent resident.

And your adorable all the time...:kk

[Kissie]

I just hate seeing people that I call friends disappear and I dont get to talk to them anymore...

[RedVixen]

Yes she is...

I just know being a military wife...we keep in touch with alot of people that we have met along the way...very hard to say good-bye!!!!

I'm glad your Mom is doing better :)

Good-byes are never easy, especially when they are unexpected.

[Penny]

Wb :kk

[Shiane]

Welcome back Kissie! :sng I've missed seeing you here and I'm very glad you're back!

Why do people leave? Who knows! For various reasons they decide to move on, that is the way it has always been and the way it always will be in this cyberspace world. Maybe they announce their departure so that those who care will know that they left or maybe it is just to find out if anyone will miss them. I dunno! I don't assume to know why anyone does the things they do, hell it's hard enough just trying to keep up with myself.

[OICurready4me]

I think people leave for many different reasons....


There spouse caught them and are now in hot water

They came on to check it out, got hooked, and found that the addiction became too much for them to handle

They got too close to someone and got hurt so not reading their posts or seeing them online is their way of dealing with it

They feel they are being picked on when they are told they are breaking the rules

They find out that this isn't what they expected

They change in the way they look at their marriage, based on advice, what is read and decide that it may not be the best thing for their situation at the time



I'm sure there are many others but overall, it is their decision and I'm sure I speak for many that I wish them all the best of luck in their change in direction. The great thing about our great country is we have choices to make. Whatever choices that are made are right for that individual.

[PunkyBob]

Good point trauser..........I get so tired of the goodbye threads tho.
Guess some flaw in me would rather people just leave quietly or something. I don't rightly know why those bother me so much. Maybe cuz I expect MOST of them to show up again at some point so they seem so pointless.
Or maybe it feels like an attention grabber....
I dunno.



Could be some folks like to make an exit...I'd probably PM a few friends and slip off quietly into the sunset...

[LuckyJest]

...people leave because they were here in the first place... Hello Kissie...from a peer, community member, or just a new voice...and thank goodness for our soldiers, airmen, sailors and marines...

[PlayfulMale69]

I'm with you Kissie! I come and go as life permits. There are stretches I don't get to chat with any friends on here but I do show up again. Good to hear you are back!

[Asperror]

It depends on whats going on in your life. This is a virtural world/get a away. Work family, kids & friends can take more or less of your time depending on the week. Here we can kind of come and go as you please. The real world doesn't always give you that flexibility.

I always felt that we are not judged here.....just understood.

[My_Secrets_Kept]

I think people leave for many different reasons....

They got too close to someone and got hurt so not reading their posts or seeing them online is their way of dealing with it



reading through this thread tonight, OIC, part of your post struck a cord with me...

Although I haven't completely left the site, still lurnking and posting from time to time, the person that I became too close too in the begining quit posting before I made myself scarce.. then I became exteremely close to another shortly therafter, but soon realized that this site if full of married individuals whom have no iminet plans of changing their lives as I have chosen too.. in the end I know I hurt another that I cared fo deaply after realizing that many here are still dedicated to thier lives as they are and I have no place in it because it is wrong for many reasons..

don't get me wrong, because I still like this site and my friends here, I still read certain peoples comments and post from time to time, but I have learned to distance myself from here and the friends that I became too close too for reasons that many I'm sure understand.. when you become emotionally close to others, then realize that their life is SO much differnet then yours, it's best to let them go than to drag them down with you...

I miss my friends here, honeslty do, but know that their lives at the moment are for the better without me in it..

[Sneaky]

Good point trauser..........I get so tired of the goodbye threads tho.

Guess some flaw in me would rather people just leave quietly or something. I don't rightly know why those bother me so much. Maybe cuz I expect MOST of them to show up again at some point so they seem so pointless.
Or maybe it feels like an attention grabber....

I dunno.


I agree. I think I would quietly slip off also. I would probobly let my buddies know I was going to take a little time off and decide what to do. And in most cases those people do seem to come back, like Penny says. But I don't think they know it at the time they post it. We all have to walk our own paths I guess.

[SirFox]

I know I have not been around lately so I have missed alot of what has been going on around the site....
Logging on today a couple times trying to catch up...which is going to take me forever...you all were busy while I was home caring for my Mom the last 3 weeks!!!!
Why are so many people (lovely people) leaving the site??? I realize they have life to care for...but can't they do what I do...and take time off...and come back when they can...instead of just blowing the site off totally????
I just dont understand...you make such good friends (supposedly) and then just drop them like they dont matter????? Guess I am just to nieve....

Good to see you on here KISSIE. I thought you had yourself, left. Indeed I hope that hubbie and Mom are okay.

There are many things here KISSIE that make that people arrive on this Forum and leave it. I would say it was a mixture of LIFE, basic chores to do that make M and F less appealing or less necessary, the quickly moving life on the Internet, as well as the virtual life as well.

The virtual ife makes it that many people remain virtual, will never meet one another, will never be able to consume each other :lf . Perhaps those people who meet on here and who actually meet have a common bond.

[OnceAKing]

Good point trauser..........I get so tired of the goodbye threads tho.
Guess some flaw in me would rather people just leave quietly or something. I don't rightly know why those bother me so much. Maybe cuz I expect MOST of them to show up again at some point so they seem so pointless.
Or maybe it feels like an attention grabber....
I dunno.


I have to agree with your flaw to some extent Fly...I hate "Good Byes" both saying em and hearing em. especially if it's someone I care about..My inclination is to just fade away into the sunset...Maybe I was afraid there would be more smiles than tears..donno.

[AL(m)]

HI Kissie... good to see you back.......... hope all is well with your family.. too....
Yes this site does seem to mimic real life now and then .. with people driftign through your life... some touch you deeply and move on others just flirt with you for a time and then disappear. Everyone has different reasons for leaving as well as staying, can be anything from getting to close to things changing in their real life. The good thing about the site is that it stays right here ( yes a few changes that Penny and the Mod's have done to improve the site for us) We can always come back to it once we drift away.... people will alwasyy come and go in our lives.. and the good ones will stay as long as we need them........:)
So welcome back...... always good to see you Kissie....:sng

[scoobertina]

reading through this thread tonight, OIC, part of your post struck a cord with me...

Although I haven't completely left the site, still lurnking and posting from time to time, the person that I became too close too in the begining quit posting before I made myself scarce.. then I became exteremely close to another shortly therafter, but soon realized that this site if full of married individuals whom have no iminet plans of changing their lives as I have chosen too.. in the end I know I hurt another that I cared fo deaply after realizing that many here are still dedicated to thier lives as they are and I have no place in it because it is wrong for many reasons..

don't get me wrong, because I still like this site and my friends here, I still read certain peoples comments and post from time to time, but I have learned to distance myself from here and the friends that I became too close too for reasons that many I'm sure understand.. when you become emotionally close to others, then realize that their life is SO much differnet then yours, it's best to let them go than to drag them down with you...

I miss my friends here, honeslty do, but know that their lives at the moment are for the better without me in it..

you and I are both going through many changes.. I also became very close to someone on this site and he also left the site.. although I do not know if he will ever return he hurt me tremendously.. but I continue on here.. my life is changing and yes you are right.. most people at this site are not moving in the direction you and I are moving in.. I have learned to deal with that.. I continue on with my friendships and I actually push people away now.. it is a sort of defense mechanism... I do not want to be hurt like I was...

I have to say that I do miss our chats... and I hope someday I can still come down and paint the town red with you..

[SirFox]

There is one question that I would like to ask ALL of you: What are friends for many of you? I see the term used rather loosely here.....

I can say that I have some good acquaintainces on the site. To say that I have friends here, I am not sure. We stick together when we are on here, but, the day that I leave....what will happen?

There will be four people on this Site whom I hope will continue corresponding with me. The others will not. Are those people friends?

My definition of "friends" are people who would do anything to get you out of jail when you needed it, who believe in you completely regardless what the horde said. This is of course reciprocal!
One never has more real friends that the fingers on ONE hand.

Please tell me whether I my definition is too strict...

[Zpanther]

There is one question that I would like to ask ALL of you: What are friends for many of you? I see the term used rather loosely here.....

I can say that I have some good acquaintainces on the site. To say that I have friends here, I am not sure. We stick together when we are on here, but, the day that I leave....what will happen?

There will be four people on this Site whom I hope will continue corresponding with me. The others will not. Are those people friends?

My definition of "friends" are people who would do anything to get you out of jail when you needed it, who believe in you completely regardless what the horde said. This is of course reciprocal!
One never has more real friends that the fingers on ONE hand.

Please tell me whether I my definition is too strict...


No. I think you are right Fox. But on the other hand, it's probably okay to use the term loosely on here too.

[SirFox]

No. I think you are right Fox. But on the other hand, it's probably okay to use the term loosely on here too.

As usual a gentleman and a scholar. How are things with you Z?

[Penny]

I often warn people about getting to attached here and the main reason is most will get hurt. I like to flirt a little here and there but I wont be talking to people on the phone or even IM ing people. Things get to personal that way. I see the best way of using this site is come here to flirt a little and make yourself feel better and try to use what I learn here in my real life.

Now guys don't jump on me this is just my opinion, and its not all guys just the naughty ones ;)
I think its allot easier for men to come here and try to hook up with a woman just to see if they still have what it takes to get another woman. Then we the women tend to fall for these guys who have no intentions of leaving their wives or families. All they are looking for is a good time. I learned the hard way and now I know their tricks I understand how to stay sane. there were guys here in the beginning that made me feel so special I thought I was falling for them but alas they leave just like the cold winter winds turn into warm summer breezes :( Just makes me appreciate my husband more for staying with me through all the bitching and complaining.

[Penny]

Now after saying that I am sure there are some pretty happy relationships that became out of this site. Its hit and miss but just be careful and skeptical. trust but verify ;)

[pixiegirl]

I know I seemingly disappeared not long ago, but not by choice. Whatever the reason may be, I don't understand how people can leave friends behind. Perhaps they were "different types" of friends to begin with.


Same here hun, moving across the world has been a huge upheaval for us and one thing that has been "left by the wayside" has been our online family.

I'm hoping that now we are settling into our new life we can start rebuilding some of that.

However one aspect of moving here has become SO much better....:knuddel:

[Kissie]

I often warn people about getting to attached here and the main reason is most will get hurt. I like to flirt a little here and there but I wont be talking to people on the phone or even IM ing people. Things get to personal that way. I see the best way of using this site is come here to flirt a little and make yourself feel better and try to use what I learn here in my real life.

Now guys don't jump on me this is just my opinion, and its not all guys just the naughty ones ;)
I think its allot easier for men to come here and try to hook up with a woman just to see if they still have what it takes to get another woman. Then we the women tend to fall for these guys who have no intentions of leaving their wives or families. All they are looking for is a good time. I learned the hard way and now I know their tricks I understand how to stay sane. there were guys here in the beginning that made me feel so special I thought I was falling for them but alas they leave just like the cold winter winds turn into warm summer breezes :( Just makes me appreciate my husband more for staying with me through all the bitching and complaining.


I agree...I think there is only one man in this world that could ever live with me!!!! Thank God I found him!!!

[GeekMaster]

Same here hun, moving across the world has been a huge upheaval for us and one thing that has been "left by the wayside" has been our online family.

I'm hoping that now we are settling into our new life we can start rebuilding some of that.

However one aspect of moving here has become SO much better....:knuddel:

I would never leave you Pixie! Friends don't leave, the just go on vacation for a while!!:ok:sng

[GeekMaster]

I often warn people about getting to attached here and the main reason is...
...alas they leave just like the cold winter winds turn into warm summer breezes :( Just makes me appreciate my husband more for staying with me through all the bitching and complaining.

I completely understand your feelings and reasoning. :sng

I am still around. Have no intentions of leaving, for what that may be worth. Lots of great people here, scattered among the chaff...

[pixiegirl]

I would never leave you Pixie! Friends don't leave, the just go on vacation for a while!!:ok:sng



Thank you Geek, that does my heart good :sng

[hoss]

can u add stoned to the mood list ...mellow isnt covering how i feel ...

[Cotties]

how bout tenderizedcan u add stoned to the mood list ...mellow isnt covering how i feel ...

[hoss]

how bout tenderized

yeh ...that covers it too ...my whole body feels like some 600 lb cook has been beating me non stop ....

[MCat]

can u add stoned to the mood list ...mellow isnt covering how i feel ...


Ooohhh stoned......good one hossie....:cool:

[Operator Bob]

I have been a "lurker" lately as my life situation changes. I have found comfort and strength from this site to take the necessary steps I needed to get out of my marriage. Not because I met anyone from here or because I was in a relationship with anyone else. Rather, the support I received from others on this site have helped me to realize that I needed to do something. As my life has changed, I have found my needs to come here and post have likewise changed. I do stop by to talk with some of my friends and read some posts. It is like coming back home and sitting in my favorite chair. Just comfy and feels like I belong even if I don't say anything.

[hoss]

Ooohhh stoned......good one hossie....:cool:


and i dont mean chucking rocks at me

[redcat]

I have been a "lurker" lately as my life situation changes. I have found comfort and strength from this site to take the necessary steps I needed to get out of my marriage. Not because I met anyone from here or because I was in a relationship with anyone else. Rather, the support I received from others on this site have helped me to realize that I needed to do something. As my life has changed, I have found my needs to come here and post have likewise changed. I do stop by to talk with some of my friends and read some posts. It is like coming back home and sitting in my favorite chair. Just comfy and feels like I belong even if I don't say anything.


Glad you're still stopping by to see hello and check on the old place...can't let it fall into disrepair, you know. lol

[mark_66]

no site meets everyones needs or desires, if folks came in hunting for a quick shot at sex I suspect they might have been disappointed, or if they were involved in here to an extent it became a distracton or perhaps they were hurt by someone or simply tired of following the threads?

[scoobertina]

I have been a "lurker" lately as my life situation changes. I have found comfort and strength from this site to take the necessary steps I needed to get out of my marriage. Not because I met anyone from here or because I was in a relationship with anyone else. Rather, the support I received from others on this site have helped me to realize that I needed to do something. As my life has changed, I have found my needs to come here and post have likewise changed. I do stop by to talk with some of my friends and read some posts. It is like coming back home and sitting in my favorite chair. Just comfy and feels like I belong even if I don't say anything.

And you have been a comfort to me even when you were lurking. How many night did we sit sharing youtube videos.. You are usually making me cry with them..

I do not think I could leave the site right now.. I still have so many things I want to say.. and with me being alone soon I have a need to be among friends..

In response to SirFox, I say friends here.. my friends on site are really just acquaintances... My true friends are the ones who talk me to me offsite when I am crying, depressed, extremely happy... they are the ones who make me laugh and cry... they are the ones I know really care about me.. There aren't many of them.. just a handful really... and if you had to know the truth I think there are only 4 people who I could really count on from the site.. 2 of them I have known forever... and 2 I met here...

If the time came for me to go, I would just start to slowing ease off my postings.. wean myself off the site... my true friends would know I was leaving but the others... they wouldn't miss me so I wouldn't say a word... just slowing seep out of their lives...

[Kissie]

And you have been a comfort to me even when you were lurking. How many night did we sit sharing youtube videos.. You are usually making me cry with them..

I do not think I could leave the site right now.. I still have so many things I want to say.. and with me being alone soon I have a need to be among friends..

In response to SirFox, I say friends here.. my friends on site are really just acquaintances... My true friends are the ones who talk me to me offsite when I am crying, depressed, extremely happy... they are the ones who make me laugh and cry... they are the ones I know really care about me.. There aren't many of them.. just a handful really... and if you had to know the truth I think there are only 4 people who I could really count on from the site.. 2 of them I have known forever... and 2 I met here...

If the time came for me to go, I would just start to slowing ease off my postings.. wean myself off the site... my true friends would know I was leaving but the others... they wouldn't miss me so I wouldn't say a word... just slowing seep out of their lives...

Well I would miss you Tina....your words of wisdom...help me through my tough times!!!!

[mark_66]

ever consider its like nature merely survival of the fittest - the weak lame and lazy are left by the roadside as the herd marches on. The strong stay the weak leave

[MIGHTY]

I will be leaving, but not by choice, and not for a long period of time. There will be a gap between the time internet is shut off here and the time it is reinstated in my new location. Otherwise, I may not post much sometimes, or go invisible, or lax for a couple of days, but all in all, I'm always here in spirit.

I think for a lot of people this site represents therapy of sorts. They come here confused and bewildered, looking for friendships and finding answers and sympathy along the way. I know that I was very weak, and frail, and confused upon entering this site. If I left today, it would be because I am now strong, believe in myself, and believe in the endless possibilities that life has to offer.

[Kissie]

I will be leaving, but not by choice, and not for a long period of time. There will be a gap between the time internet is shut off here and the time it is reinstated in my new location. Otherwise, I may not post much sometimes, or go invisible, or lax for a couple of days, but all in all, I'm always here in spirit.

I think for a lot of people this site represents therapy of sorts. They come here confused and bewildered, looking for friendships and finding answers and sympathy along the way. I know that I was very weak, and frail, and confused upon entering this site. If I left today, it would be because I am now strong, believe in myself, and believe in the endless possibilities that life has to offer.


Mighty you take care and enjoy life!!!! Dont ever put yourself down cuz you have had a weak time in your life...you seem to have been through alot...and are making a new life for you and your child...I am proud of you!!!!!!!

[redcat]

I will be leaving, but not by choice, and not for a long period of time. There will be a gap between the time internet is shut off here and the time it is reinstated in my new location. Otherwise, I may not post much sometimes, or go invisible, or lax for a couple of days, but all in all, I'm always here in spirit.

I think for a lot of people this site represents therapy of sorts. They come here confused and bewildered, looking for friendships and finding answers and sympathy along the way. I know that I was very weak, and frail, and confused upon entering this site. If I left today, it would be because I am now strong, believe in myself, and believe in the endless possibilities that life has to offer.



Mighty, you'll be missed during your absence - hurry back.

I believe this site and the ppl here have helped many through times of hurt, confusion and change. That you now find yourself strong and believing in yourself is great!! All the best to you and your son in your new life, girl - may it bring you much peace and happiness!!!!!

btw - your signature line is great...

[SirFox]

I will be leaving, but not by choice, and not for a long period of time. There will be a gap between the time internet is shut off here and the time it is reinstated in my new location. Otherwise, I may not post much sometimes, or go invisible, or lax for a couple of days, but all in all, I'm always here in spirit.

I think for a lot of people this site represents therapy of sorts. They come here confused and bewildered, looking for friendships and finding answers and sympathy along the way. I know that I was very weak, and frail, and confused upon entering this site. If I left today, it would be because I am now strong, believe in myself, and believe in the endless possibilities that life has to offer.


I am proud of you MIGHTY. You have come a long way. I hope that you are now able to start to think of speaking in public like we discussed. You have become an incredible lady watching you from this far end of the World.