Alternative Uses for a Penis

[Me]

If you had a use for a penis besides masterbating or having sex, What would it be?

For example:

Using your penis hat rack

[surfdude]

thermometer

[Torin]

I would use a penis as a rubber band holder. *SNAP* :lmao

[Shawn]

I would use mine as a hammer

[sassynsweet]

roflmao!!!!

um .. i was going to say a fire poker.. but that's just wrong on so many levels!!

how about ... a walking stick! (ok.. if we're dreaming, we're dreaming BIG)

[Me]

A park bench for me to sit on?

[surfdude]

roflmao!!!!

um .. i was going to say a fire poker.. but that's just wrong on so many levels!!

how about ... a walking stick! (ok.. if we're dreaming, we're dreaming BIG)

club foot

[Torin]

A slicky slide! :lmao

[Shawn]

In the morning, I pretend its one of those springy door stops....*booooooiiing*

[Me]

In the morning, I pretend its one of those springy door stops....*booooooiiing*

:lmao

A drink stir stick?

[Torin]

A 9-iron. ;)

[Me]

A pole vault pole ....

[sassynsweet]

a baseball bat

[fly]

umm...........a swizzle stick?

[sassynsweet]

ohhh i know .. a pool cue!

[Torin]

a lollipop

[Me]

a joy stick

[Torin]

a toothbrush :lmao

[Shawn]

A watering hole finder

[Me]

A pineapple juice dispenser

[Torin]

A pineapple juice dispenser

:lmao :lmao

I would put a sock puppet on it, and make it give a puppet show.

[CuriousOne]

a lightsaber

[CuriousOne]

a flag pole

[Shawn]

I can not believe Hans is not here to go all Light Saber with this thread

[PowWhackIt]

Paint stripes on it and use it as a Barber Pole

[Rays]

A stripper pole!

[cyclops]

A jelly mould

[private beaches]

A towel holder

[Torin]

To carve diamonds. ;)

[Me]

An eating utinsil

[bryan3636]

a garden hose

[cyclops]

A sink plunger

[noodlegurl]

how about a walking cane....

[pagirl]

handle bar

[Me]

a Gear Shift

[noodlegurl]

a fire pole

[Torin]

a curling iron

[noodlegurl]

a rolling pin

[dicksr4chicks]

drink stir

[Me]

A shower head :D

[dicksr4chicks]

a rolling pin
Will u play fire house with me

[dicksr4chicks]

a curling iron
Can i help u with you hair

[PunkyBob]

I would use a penis as a rubber band holder. *SNAP* :lmao


Ummm...issues, T???

[PunkyBob]

A shower head :D

I love head in the shower!!!

[Me]

I love head in the shower!!!

What a quoinkiedink... i love to give head in the shower!!!

[Me]

A saddle horn......yeeeeeeeeeeehawwwwwwww

[fourisit]

A sling shot

[PunkyBob]

A yoga stand...you insert it, straddle it and do the "Happy Bouncing Lotus Petal" position for a coupla hours...

[Me]

A bicycle Seat

[Shafe]

a microphone :-)

[noodlegurl]

I have a fire, that needs put out, bring your fire hose closer to me..... :ok



Will u play fire house with me

[Me]

An automatic button pusher :D

[jmsmith12345]

a sit-n-spin

[dixiechiknga]

I need a good hammer!

[bcsoft]

A lipstick applicator.

[Krystal]

I need a good hammer!

:lmao :lmao :lmao

[bcsoft]

A doughnut holder.

[bcsoft]

Occasionally it can be used to carry a five gallon bucket of water.

[sassynsweet]

a limbo stick!

[dixiechiknga]

Maybe I can use it to clean my kitchen sink drain???:sc

[sassynsweet]

Maybe I can use it to clean my kitchen sink drain???:sc
or beat off a lizard?

flute!

[SunnyD]

or beat off a lizard?

flute!

Pet Rock!

[UltimateNaneki]

a DILDO....

[cherokeered]

A donut hole maker


A gear shift

[Wil]

a putter...

[Cotties]

a moral compass:sc

[Cotties]

an Ipecac rod

[Cotties]

an oyster farm

[Cotties]

a bimbo detector

[spare_change]

Dang, Cotties --- your wife told me you didn't have a clue what to do with a penis .... guess you proved her wrong, huh?

[Cotties]

I once used it as a soup spoon for her...after that I learned not to believe a thing she saidDang, Cotties --- your wife told me you didn't have a clue what to do with a penis .... guess you proved her wrong, huh?

[Cotties]

a packed lunch

[cherokeered]

Ring toss

[Cotties]

a sun dial

[CuriousOne]

to call the elevator

[Cotties]

as an Ethen impersonator



damn I'm funny...lol

[spare_change]

as an Ethen impersonator



damn I'm funny...lol

There's a difference between "funny" and "strange", but you seem to have blurred the line.

[Cotties]

so you've been thanked 24 times and handed out none...I'll be expecting a thank you soon for making you look somewhat classier around here as so many have thanked you in the past

and its taken some real effort todayThere's a difference between "funny" and "strange", but you seem to have blurred the line.

[Cotties]

a remote control that gets your husband to do things

[Cotties]

a harmonica

[dixiechiknga]

A corkscrew

[Sweetdreams069]

A corkscrew

OUCH!!! :yks

[dan1961]

A CREAMsicle

[anyotherjoe2]

a kick stand so i dont have to use my legs while waiting in line...

[OICurready4me]

As a substitute for the Eiffel Tower....I am French after all...oui oui!

[Me]

a Blow Pop :p

[jmsmith12345]

a caulk gun

[Torin]

A place to hang my hat...

a bathtub plug.

a toothbrush. :D

[yaser]

A place to hang my hat...

a bathtub plug.

a toothbrush. :D

Torin it seems you are very creative...

[Me]

A place to hang my hat...

a bathtub plug.

a toothbrush. :D

LMFAO@bathtub plug

How about a Pineapple Juice dispenser??

[Me]

a tongue depressor (open wide and say ahhhhhhhhhh)

[yaser]

threaten the one I hate..

[majorfun]

Towel rack or a cane

[siempre_insatiable]

I use mine for beatings

[massage mike]

hand strengthener

[MrHyde]

talking stick.....might make for an ackward group therapy session though..lol

[siempre_insatiable]

talking stick.....might make for an ackward group therapy session though..lol

I'd like to hear what your buddy down there has to say, lol

[Jules1]

How bout a fly swatter!

[Shawn]

donut rack

[KSRhino]

:sc Sunny here today, so I'm think a sundial that always says "time to...______"

Supply your favorite verb.

[KSRhino]

:sc Sunny here today, so I'm thinkin' a sundial that always says "time to...______"

Supply your favorite verb.

[yaser]

Part of a show

[Intensetaster]

Basal thermometer


Ovulation predictor


tongue depressor

[WhiteKnight]

Well I use mine as a Lance wood costs so much these days and if you have it use it I say

[hoss]

according to my ex-wife....its good for nothing .......

[sweetnspicy]

vagina temp check lol

[Me]

A spanking device

[siempre_insatiable]

Very good for hand rehab

[fourisit]

stress releaser lol

[Missy38]

hat rack, lol

[FizProf]

The Penis is a good Blood Pressure monitor...
After all the blue pill was originally invented to control high blood pressure

[fourisit]

place to keep my keys so I dont lose them

[UltimateNaneki]

alternate use for a Penis....little coat hanger

[oldandnaked]

alternate use for a Penis....little coat hanger

Hey, whose hanger are you calling little?

[OICurready4me]

to help women quit smoking because of the oral fetish

[boredinmass]

paint brush

[LuckyJest]

...KICKSTART LABOR CONTRACTIONS AND DIALATION AND SOFTEN THAT CERVIX...well that semen plays a role too...

[MrHyde]

chin up bar

[boredinmass]

A Pnuematic Thrusting Device Designed to Give Pleasure

[Domus]

microphone...:)

[Missy38]

I still say a hat rack.....lol

[bluegrass_74]

a sundial. Tough you may need some serious sunscreen

[MarriedQt]

a remote control

[jmsmith12345]

If the little dutch boy put his finger in a dyke, I can put my penis in a lesbian...so I guess I would have to say that I would be using it as some sort of converter

[sweetnspicy]

Knock the nails in...he he

[StayAtHomeDad]

Onion ring holder

[Icarus]

Display my patriotism.

[StayAtHomeDad]

To carve a pumpkin

[carchaser]

slot machine handle

[Me]

a vine to swing from... you tarzan me jane :D

[rizz]

great place to hang my towel in the morning

[Me]

a lollypop:lf

[jmsmith12345]

kick stand

[Me]

a stilt

[coug511]

A handwarmer

[Charmed]

cocktail stick?

[jmsmith12345]

caulk gun

[coug511]

Rescue rope

[Me]

Hair gel dispenser

[Shawn]

I use mine to play Jenga

[jmsmith12345]

I use mine for shade

[Nomad(m)]

Stirring soup for the family...

[Luna]

mitten warmer... you would need two for it to be effective.

This thread will never die, I predict.... you men are having way too much fun with it.

[Nomad(m)]

An antenna that gives out wireless internet access, free to all cummer!!

[Sneaky]

An adult pacifier?:sc

[Luna]

door knocker

[1sxymama]

a pole for a dancer

[Thumpintwin]

Fire Hose

[Me]

A pap smear device...

Yea I know I went too far!

[yaser]

Breast

[Me]

Breast
huh?:sc

[Shawn]

I like to use it to find water in the desert... like the old fellas that use sticks

[Me]

orrrrrrrrrrr a metal detector??

[airborne soldier]

to play horse shoes with.

[Me]

to play horse shoes with.
ouch!! With real horseshoes??

[MRsarcastic]

drawing sand pictures:ok

[learman3]

A scratching post

[learman3]

drawing pictures in the snow

[airborne soldier]

ouch!! With real horseshoes??


just as long as the horse is not attached!

[Nomad(m)]

Spreading Mayonnaise

[savant]

A tent pole......oh, it is, every morning.

[Shawn]

Ok I am gonna be honest with you guys... we are like family right??...Right??!!! Ok when no one is around I will bust out a can of Cashews ... they are curved perfectly to fit on the tip and then I see how far I can fling em... I one day pray for it to be an Olympic sport so I can be like the Micheal Phelps of the Cock-nut toss event

[gdg]

I always use it to measure anything I need to be 8" long, but I can never figure out why it comes up short.:sc

[cherokeered]

I like ring toss.....:ok

[Thumpintwin]

turns on the tv when i can't find the remote control and i don't feel like getting up...

[gdg]

turns on the tv when i can't find the remote control and i don't feel like getting up...

Didn't your mother tell u sitting too close to the TV was bad for the eyes?

[coug511]

Bagle holder