Out of the mouths of babes...

[Krystal]

Kids have a way of coming out with the funniest things.....usually at the most inappropriate times. Tell us the things your kids, grandkids, nieces, nephews, neighbors, or your friend's kids have said or done that you wished they hadn't! Or, that left you in stitches for the rest of the day.... :na


(Thanks Fargo, one of your recent posts made me want more 'mouths of babes' stories! ;) )

[Krystal]

When my brother (who is now 30, and has his own kids) was younger, I'd say 4 years old....we were all in church, since I was making communion that year. He was sitting with my grandmother....looking around....and he says, "Hey Gram? Did they really nail Jesus to the cross?" So she said "Yes, they did, they put nails in His hands and His feet." He thinks for a moment...and answers, "Didn't that hurt though? Couldn't they just have rubber-banded him?" :D

[Krystal]

Oh....and then a few weeks later, at my communion ceremony....he was standing on the pew so he could see, since he was only 4, and as in many Catholic ceremonies, they had a moment of silence. My embarrassing brother yells out "Is the show over??"

The priest says "No young man, the show isn't over yet, but we'll let you know when it is."

At the end of the ceremony, the priest concluded the Mass...and says "Young man, the show is over now." My brother proceeded to applaud, LOL. :lmao

[fourisit]

Yesterday I was shopping with my girls and my nephew who is three. We were looking at clothes and there was two ladies that worked there fixing the racks. When he saw one of the ladies he yelled " Hey that lady has a baby in her tummy too." I pretended not to hear him and kept on walking bec the lady was not pregnant she was just fat. Both of the ladies laughed but I felt so bad. ( Two of his aunts are pregnant right now so he is always pointing out pregnant ladies)

A few days ago he was walking back to the van and ran his hand along the front bumper of my car as he walked. He stopped and you could see the amusment on his face. He said "Hey your van has a mustache." he saw the bug shield and thought it looked like a mustache.

[fourisit]

My six year old the other day did some house work to ear 5$. She came to me when she was done and asked for the money. I said I would have to look and see if I had a five in my purse. She said "Well if you cant find a five I will take a six but I dont want a four."

[Krystal]

lol four....kids know it all....you can't fool them!

[Asperror]

I was out in the mall doing a little shopping for some ties for work. After I found what I was looking for I will sometimes walk the mall to see if there are new stores. I happen to notice they redid the Victoria Secret store. Even thou I am a man it never hurts to see what the latest fashions are. I saw a family together, 2 kids (5 and 8), a Dad a bit overweight and their Mom who was very slim. The kids said.....

KID #1 "Dad why is Mom trying on the Bras when she has so many".
KID #2 "Ya know Dad you don't have any bras and your tits are bigger than Mommies".

His wife ran into the dressing room to try on another bra.....as I walked by she was laughing so hard I think she might of pissed herself. Dad just stood there like he never heard the comment. I wonder if there is a market for Man Bras?? lol

[Krystal]

I was out in the mall doing a little shopping for some ties for work. After I found what I was looking for I will sometimes walk the mall to see if there are new stores. I happen to notice they redid the Victoria Secret store. Even thou I am a man it never hurts to see what the latest fashions are. I saw a family together, 2 kids (5 and 8), a Dad a bit overweight and their Mom who was very slim. The kids said.....

KID #1 "Dad why is Mom trying on the Bras when she has so many".
KID #2 "Ya know Dad you don't have any bras and your tits are bigger than Mommies".

His wife ran into the dressing room to try on another bra.....as I walked by she was laughing so hard I think she might of pissed herself. Dad just stood there like he never heard the comment. I wonder if there is a market for Man Bras?? lol

Hahaha....on Seinfeld, they called them "mansierres", didn't they?

[Asperror]

Kids will say the funniest things. I travel alot so I run into Mom's and their kids all the time.

I was grabbing a sandwich at a local Deli and this woman comes walking in with her 5 her old. His name was Jeffrey. I still remember it to this day. Jeffrey didn't know how to listen....and she called his name over and over again. Jeffrey Don't, Jeffrey come here, Jeffrey don't touch. Jeffrey need a little ass kicking.

She finally grabs him by the arm and said Jeffrey stop it!!! or I'll tell your father when he gets home. Jeffrey's reply was the greatest............Oh Yeah! I'll tell everyone that I saw you sucking Daddies Thing! She slapped him so hard and ran out the store so fast.....I never heard him cry. lol

[rj1002]

My son has come up with a whole host, but my favorite is still from 19 years ago, when he was five. We were on a family vacation and had just taken the train from New York to Washington D.C. We all piled into a taxi to get to the hotel and, while we were riding, we asked my son if he knew where we were. He very excitedly exclaimed that he did. He announced to us that we were in "Washington Deceit"!

The cab driver nearly drove off the rode.

[rj1002]

I'm also remembering taking my young son, who was just starting to learn to read phonetically, to the bathroom. The men's room (I think it was in a restaurant) had two urinals and a stall. My son went into the stall, while I used the urinal. As it happens, there was another gentleman using the other urinal. Of course, all guys will tell you that, in that situation, men ignore each other and simply pretend that they are alone.

From inside the stall, we both heard my son's very young (he might have been three or perhaps four) sounding out the words: "fir...st pu..ll up, th..en pull d..ow..n. first pull up, then pull down?" after which he exclaimed, "That doesn't make sense!!!!"

The gentleman next to me was trying to adhere to bathroom etiquette, but he was just unable to. I think I was more amused noticing that he couldn't stop laughing than by my son's comment.

[PunkyBob]

True story: When I was six I was caught staring at a neighbor woman my mother was talking to. When the woman asked me what I wanted I turned to my mother and said "I don't see no blue streak when she talks!"

[rj1002]

Kids have a way of coming out with the funniest things.....usually at the most inappropriate times. Tell us the things your kids, grandkids, nieces, nephews, neighbors, or your friend's kids have said or done that you wished they hadn't! Or, that left you in stitches for the rest of the day.... :na


(Thanks Fargo, one of your recent posts made me want more 'mouths of babes' stories! ;) )

This may turn out to be the best thread ever.

[Jules1]

I love this! My 5 year old is always saying things and using words that just don't fit on a five year old....the other day he told me "Im just not a big fan of pizza"....or he told me that Mr. Potato head wasn't having a gloomy day, he was having a "rainbow of a day"...I get stuff like that all the time from him....its the best!

[flake68]

My son caught my wife and I "near" eachother one night. He stopped and said.....
What are you to doing.........Aren't you too old to have sex?

[Constance]

I had bought some lacy lingerie and was pulling it out of the bag, when my 5 year old son walked in and he said "woooo hoooo mom, that sure is pretty". I looked at him and said "what do you know about womens frilly things". My husband was behind the door laughing and came in and said "thats my boy, at least we know he like girls". I thought I would die. I said "you are 5 and you should not be thinks of girls and stuff like that". He told me, " mom, thats what boys do". I said " you are definitely your father,s son. Now I am worried what he is going to be like at 16 years old. I am in for a treat. :confused:

[rj1002]

My son grew up to always have a pretty blond on each arm. Boy am I jealous!

[Krystal]

My cousin just told me a great one!

Her daughter, who is 7, stubbed her toe in her bedroom last week. She's the kind of kid who can't look to see if it's bleeding or she panics, so she ran to show her mother to make sure she'd live. My cousin tells her "You just stubbed your toe, it's not bleeding, you'll be okay."

The kid says "MOM!!! Do I LOOK like I'm OKAY????" :lmao

You wonder where they develop the capability for such drama! LOL

[Dsparate No More]

Thank you for this thread, Krystal...

When my daughter had just turned three, she was becoming interested in her "female parts." While bathing her, she would ask about her vagina and asked if her brothers and daddy had a vagina. (She was VERY excited that she had one and her brothers didn't...BTW). Well, we were in the market to buy a house and were looking at houses with a realtor. My daughter pulls down her pants in the living room of this empty house and says, "Look...'gina" to the realtor. Needless to say, I was mortified. The realtor thought it was adorable, Thank God.