Useless Information

[howie69]

snakes do not have eye lids.

[SexyCowgirl]

Cotton rats will lay still and hold their breath when submerged and held under water.

Only chickens with red ears will lay brown, green or blue eggs.

A horse has no teeth in the spot where the bit lays.

Arabian horses have one more vertabrae then other breeds, but their backs are actually stronger in the long run.

Grey horses are more prone to cancer.

I have a head full of absolutely useless horse info!

The Black boxes in planes are cased in orange boxes which are specially designed for strength, corrosion and heat resistance.

[tiger50]

Cotton rats will lay still and hold their breath when submerged and held under water.

Only chickens with red ears will lay brown, green or blue eggs.

A horse has no teeth in the spot where the bit lays.

Arabian horses have one more vertabrae then other breeds, but their backs are actually stronger in the long run.

Grey horses are more prone to cancer.

I have a head full of absolutely useless horse info!

The Black boxes in planes are cased in orange boxes which are specially designed for strength, corrosion and heat resistance.

that sounds like a load fo horseshit....:lmao

[MysteryLaidee]

Orchids are named from the Greek word for testicles (orchis) because of the resemblance of their bulbs to a man's testes.

I will never look at orchids the same...

[GeekMaster]

Orchids are named from the Greek word for testicles (orchis) because of the resemblance of their bulbs to a man's testes.
I will never look at orchids the same...

Just look at my orchids...:D

[OICurready4me]

Orchids are named from the Greek word for testicles (orchis) because of the resemblance of their bulbs to a man's testes.

I will never look at orchids the same...


Would you like to check out my orchids with your tulips?

[MysteryLaidee]

Would you like to check out my orchids with your tulips?

Ahhh....Spring is in the air!

[spare_change]

"Formicophilia" is the fetish for having small insects crawl on your genitals. Gross!!

[spare_change]

Albert Einstein's parents were worried he was mentally slow, because it took him a long time to learn how to speak.

[spare_change]

The average person eats eight spiders in their sleep in their whole entire lifetime!

[spare_change]

The Nile catfish swim upside down.

[spare_change]

The national anthem of Greece has 158 verses. No one in Greece has memorized all 158 verses.

[spare_change]

55% of people yawn within 5 minutes of seeing someone else yawn. Reading about yawning makes most people yawn.



Ok -- did you yawn?

[Cotties]

that sure does apply for Tiger:sc Albert Einstein's parents were worried he was mentally slow, because it took him a long time to learn how to speak.

[Tom4u2here]

Three more post an I make 150...

[UltimateNaneki]

If the toilet paper roll runs out....someone has to change it!

[cherokeered]

I am hungry

[Annie]

The Grimm brother's never named the dwarfs in the original Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs book... that was a Disney move.

[MCat]

Gum and Hair don't mix....

[Annie]

Gum and Hair don't mix.... Use peanut butter to get it out. Works like a charm!


Oh wait... that IS useful information.... oops!

[bryan3636]

Smooth or Crunchy????



Use peanut butter to get it out. Works like a charm!


Oh wait... that IS useful information.... oops!

[MCat]

There are approximately ten million bricks in the Empire State Building.

[Annie]

Smooth or Crunchy????Now that would depend on if the hair was curly or straight and if the gum is sugar free or not....

[Cotties]

wow ..not sure about that piece of advise:sc Use peanut butter to get it out. Works like a charm!


Oh wait... that IS useful information.... oops!

[Annie]

wow ..not sure about that piece of advise:scTry chewing gum and then take a mouthful of peanut butter. The gum crumbles and falls apart.

Lighter fluid works on carpet. I once used it to get gum out of the carpet in Andrew's limousine. He never knew about that brat kid I had back there that spit it out and then stepped in it.

[Sneaky]

Cows have two stomachs

[Cotties]

Theres a new show on tele called the limosine files or something like that.............I think of you evertime I watch it.....but now with a jar of peanut butter in the glove box as an all purpase gunk removerTry chewing gum and then take a mouthful of peanut butter. The gum crumbles and falls apart.

Lighter fluid works on carpet. I once used it to get gum out of the carpet in Andrew's limousine. He never knew about that brat kid I had back there that spit it out and then stepped in it.

[Annie]

Theres a new show on tele called the limosine files or something like that.............I think of you evertime I watch it.....but now with a jar of peanut butter in the glove box as an all purpase gunk remover
I once got an $25.00 in a tip because I had Crazy Glue in my glove box.... a bride used it to glue a nail back on!

Hey, the peanut butter and crackers were my lunch!

btw... hairspray takes out ball point pen ink.... got to have that too.

[UltimateNaneki]

When reading a thread make sure you know what forum your in...Right Annie!

[Annie]

When reading a thread make sure you know what forum your in...Right Annie!omg I just hi-jacked this thread with useful information!



:sc ... Hmm... do you think maybe now Cotties will punish me?

[Amaretto]

Some people have a condition known as "photic sneezing." They begin to sneeze when looking at a bright light or when they are in bright sunlight.

[snowflake]

Annually 17 tons of gold is used to make wedding rings in the United States..

:55

[Sweetdreams069]

Annually 17 tons of gold is used to make wedding rings in the United States..

:55

Sorry I have to say it but "what a waste!" :rolleyes:

[snowflake]

Sorry I have to say it but "what a waste!" :rolleyes:

:D I knew someone would think this was a "useless" waste of gold!!!

[Sweetdreams069]

:D I knew someone would think this was a "useless" waste of gold!!!

:wa:

[Sneaky]

The average person gets irritated 30 times a day.

[Newenglandman]

The average person gets irritated 30 times a day.

I am either not average.... or deal with the wrong type of people!!! Only 30????? :D

[Sneaky]

I am either not average.... or deal with the wrong type of people!!! Only 30????? :D

I heard it on the radio today. I actually thought is was high.

[Newenglandman]

I would be happy only to get irritated by 30 people!!! lol

[Cotties]

75 percent of Americans think the governement is covering up UFO landings

[Newenglandman]

And the other 25 percent are out making the landing strips!!!!

[MCat]

The oldest person to live was Jeanne Louise Calment, she lived for a whopping 122 years until she died of smoking related complications. Don't Smoke!

[Newenglandman]

I think drinking is a more viable option!!! :rolleyes:

[Annie]

Some people have a condition known as "photic sneezing." They begin to sneeze when looking at a bright light or when they are in bright sunlight.OMG! Is that what that's called? My husband has that, he walks outside on a bright day and he sneezes!!


... I always thought it was all in his head!

[Sweetdreams069]

OMG! Is that what that's called? My husband has that, he walks outside on a bright day and he sneezes!!


... I always thought it was all in his head!

Happens to me every time! :wa: I always thought it had something to do with blue eyes. No?

[Annie]

Happens to me every time! :wa: I always thought it had something to do with blue eyes. No?Hmm... Andrew does have the most wonderful, bright blue eyes.

[RedVixen]

Some people have a condition known as "photic sneezing." They begin to sneeze when looking at a bright light or when they are in bright sunlight.

OMG, this happens to me...I didn't know they had a name for this....hmmmm I learn something new everyday. thanks amaretto:)

[Sweetdreams069]

OMG, this happens to me...I didn't know they had a name for this....hmmmm I learn something new everyday. thanks amaretto:)

If your eyes are blue then I think we're on to something! :D

[RedVixen]

If your eyes are blue then I think we're on to something! :D

Nope, they are green. Why does eye color have something to do with this condition?

[Annie]

OMG, this happens to me...I didn't know they had a name for this....hmmmm I learn something new everyday. thanks amaretto:)Andrew has red hair... I take it you do too?

[Sweetdreams069]

Nope, they are green. Why does eye color have something to do with this condition?

Well that blows my theory out of the water. I always heard it only happened to people with blue eyes. :confused:

[Annie]

Well that blows my theory out of the water. I always heard it only happened to people with blue eyes. :confused:I was thinking of people with very fair skin and more photo-sensitive... the type of complexion that cannot tan.

[Sweetdreams069]

I was thinking of people with very fair skin and more photo-sensitive... the type of complexion that cannot tan.

Ok let's but this baby to bed, shall we.

Photic sneeze reflex is also referred to as photic sneeze response, sun sneezing, photogenic sneezing, the photosternutatory reflex, or even whimsically as ACHOO syndrome with its related backronym (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Backronym) Autosomal dominant Compelling Helio-Ophthalmic Outburst syndrome. It is a medical condition by which people sneeze (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sneeze) with sudden exposure to bright light. The photic sneeze reflex can also cause one to sneeze many times consecutively. The condition occurs in 17% to 35% of humans (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human), with more common occurrence in Caucasians (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caucasian_race) than others[citation needed (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Citing_sources)]. The condition is passed along genetically (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genetics) as an autosomal dominant (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autosomal_dominant) trait.

The first mention of the phenomenon is probably in the later work attributed to Aristotle (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aristotle) (Problems (http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Problems_%28Aristotle%29&action=edit), book XXXIII).

The probable cause is a congenital malfunction in nerve (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nerve) signals in the trigeminal nerve nuclei (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trigeminal_nerve_nuclei). The fifth cranial nerve (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cranial_nerve), called the trigeminal nerve, is apparently responsible for sneezes. Research suggests that some people have an association between this nerve and the nerve that transmits visual impulses to the brain. Overstimulation of the optic nerve (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Optic_nerve) triggers the trigeminal nerve (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trigeminal_nerve), and this causes the photic sneeze reflex. Another theory suggests that tears leaking into the nose through the nasolacrimal duct (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nasolacrimal_duct) are a cause of the photic sneeze reflex. The speed of the reflex seems to favour the first theory, as it happens much too quickly for tears to be generated and drain into the nose. In addition this sneeze reflex can be brought on by a sudden inhaling of cold air or a strong flavour such as a strong mint gum. This implies an overstimulation of any nerve close to the trigeminal nerve can cause the sneeze reflex.

[My_Secrets_Kept]

The phrase "Often a bridesmaid but never a bride" actually comes from an advertisement for Listerine mouthwash. The text was written by Milton Feasley and first appeared in 1925. The advertisement was so successful that it ran for more than ten years.

[RedVixen]

Andrew has red hair... I take it you do too?

Uh huh...now I'm getting worried...is this condition serious:(

[Amaretto]

And here I thought I was posting something totally useless. For what it's worth, I do have blue eyes, and I have this condition.

Actually, this info can be a little bit helpful, for those occasions when you feel like you're gonna sneeze, but it just doesn't quite come out on its own. For me, i just turn on a bright lamp, look right at the bulb, (or step outside and look toward the sun) and i almost instantly sneeze. Sometimes it bugs my hub when I turn on my nightstand lamp in the middle of the night, but it takes care of that nagging feeling when a wanna-be sneeze tickles but just won't quite happen!

[IMaLady]

And here I thought I was posting something totally useless. For what it's worth, I do have blue eyes, and I have this condition.

Actually, this info can be a little bit helpful, for those occasions when you feel like you're gonna sneeze, but it just doesn't quite come out on its own. For me, i just turn on a bright lamp, look right at the bulb, (or step outside and look toward the sun) and i almost instantly sneeze. Sometimes it bugs my hub when I turn on my nightstand lamp in the middle of the night, but it takes care of that nagging feeling when a wanna-be sneeze tickles but just won't quite happen!



I have heard if you look at the light and say fish the sneeze will go away. I have tried it a few times and has seemed to work for me.

[RedVixen]

Ok let's but this baby to bed, shall we.

Photic sneeze reflex is also referred to as photic sneeze response, sun sneezing, photogenic sneezing, the photosternutatory reflex, or even whimsically as ACHOO syndrome with its related backronym (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Backronym) Autosomal dominant Compelling Helio-Ophthalmic Outburst syndrome. It is a medical condition by which people sneeze (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sneeze) with sudden exposure to bright light. The photic sneeze reflex can also cause one to sneeze many times consecutively. The condition occurs in 17% to 35% of humans (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human), with more common occurrence in Caucasians (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caucasian_race) than others[citation needed (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Citing_sources)]. The condition is passed along genetically (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genetics) as an autosomal dominant (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autosomal_dominant) trait.

The first mention of the phenomenon is probably in the later work attributed to Aristotle (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aristotle) (Problems (http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Problems_%28Aristotle%29&action=edit), book XXXIII).

The probable cause is a congenital malfunction in nerve (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nerve) signals in the trigeminal nerve nuclei (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trigeminal_nerve_nuclei). The fifth cranial nerve (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cranial_nerve), called the trigeminal nerve, is apparently responsible for sneezes. Research suggests that some people have an association between this nerve and the nerve that transmits visual impulses to the brain. Overstimulation of the optic nerve (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Optic_nerve) triggers the trigeminal nerve (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trigeminal_nerve), and this causes the photic sneeze reflex. Another theory suggests that tears leaking into the nose through the nasolacrimal duct (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nasolacrimal_duct) are a cause of the photic sneeze reflex. The speed of the reflex seems to favour the first theory, as it happens much too quickly for tears to be generated and drain into the nose. In addition this sneeze reflex can be brought on by a sudden inhaling of cold air or a strong flavour such as a strong mint gum. This implies an overstimulation of any nerve close to the trigeminal nerve can cause the sneeze reflex.

Thanks for the posting Sweetdreams :kk
So I guess my 'nerves' are a little messed up...go figure:D

[Annie]

Thanks for the posting Sweetdreams :kk
So I guess my 'nerves' are a little messed up...go figure:DYeah so are his... seems I like to do The River Dance on his last one.

[My_Secrets_Kept]

During his or her lifetime, the average human will grow 590 miles of hair.

[RedVixen]

Yeah so are his... seems I like to do The River Dance on his last one.

Oh dear...sounds like Andrew has it worse than me:D

[cherokeered]

Blue & Purple are my two favorite colors

[UltimateNaneki]

Living with a man that loves TV is only good if you live somewhere the cable does not reach!

[cherokeered]

I have 3 days off this week....hopefully

[UltimateNaneki]

I will have sex in 11 days!

[unctarheel_32]

I have to watchout for the gas I use this week until I get payed.
thats useless info dont u think.

[Cotties]

I'm sure thats useful to someoneI will have sex in 11 days!

[SirFox]

I will have sex in 11 days!

That assumes of course that your partner in crime is okay with the idea...

[cherokeered]

I am going book shopping after breakfast this morning

[SirFox]

I am going book shopping after breakfast this morning

After pancakes and maple syrup, you're going to do what? The Barnes and Nobles down the street by any chance? Will you pick up a Starbucks for me, please?

You might just get my heart when you are talking "books"...

[cherokeered]

After pancakes and maple syrup, you're going to do what? The Barnes and Nobles down the street by any chance? Will you pick up a Starbucks for me, please?

You might just get my heart when you are talking "books"...


am having bacon & eggs actually...lol

I love the bookstore.....:wa:

[SirFox]

am having bacon & eggs actually...lol

I love the bookstore.....:wa:

One of the good things that Barnes and Noble has brought out is the possibility to spend h-o-u-r-s in their shops, drink a latte and read on through the night....:55 :55

[cherokeered]

One of the good things that Barnes and Noble has brought out is the possibility to spend h-o-u-r-s in their shops, drink a latte and read on through the night....:55 :55


I like borders bookstores....larger mystery section........:55

[UltimateNaneki]

Women don't become nuns when they get turned down all the time. They are just old maids!

[MCat]

Did you know....that human men have the largest penises of all primates?

I'm watching TLC tonight....very interesting....

[Guymisseswife]

I am at the top of the chain finally !!!!!!! wooooo hoooo

[Han Solo]

my favorite sesame street character is Oscar the Grouch!

[MCat]

my favorite sesame street character is Oscar the Grouch!

I knew it!!! You are really 10 years old....:D

[Annie]

Did you know....that human men have the largest penises of all primates?

I'm watching TLC tonight....very interesting....Well obviously they didn't figure my ex into that equation.


.... on second thought... I'm not certain he is a primate.

[Micwar]

I'm scratching my left nut right now...

[Andytyme]

I can touch the tip of my nose with my tongue (not kidding). And I will now take reservations from all of the ladies..

[Han Solo]

I knew it!!! You are really 10 years old....
No, no, no........it is "inches" not "years old"!;)

[Guymisseswife]

i can part my eyebrows with mine :)

[Annie]

i can part my eyebrows with mine :)
Yeah right! Now be a good boy and go post that one on the "Tell Us A Lie" thread. We all know you don't have any eyebrows!

[cherokeered]

A "sysygy" occurs when all the planets of the our Solar System line up.

[cherokeered]

Four wheel roller skates were invented by James L. Plimpton in 1863.

[cherokeered]

The toothbrush was invented in 1498.


The waffle iron was invented August 24, 1869.

[pointofnoreturn]

Four wheel roller skates were invented by James L. Plimpton in 1863.I used to love to skate. We had key skates. Then moved to boot type..Yeah I am old. Man that sounds funny.:lmao Oh who cares...just a number..

[cherokeered]

Craven Walker invented the lava lamp, and its contents are colored wax and water.

[OICurready4me]

This was recently in the Seattle Paper... The title of the article was
"Best Come Back Line Ever."

In summary, the police arrested Robert Aylor, 59+ year old white male, in
a pumpkin patch 11:38 p.m. on Friday night.

On Monday, at the County courthouse, Aylor was charged with lewd and
lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication.

The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way
home from a drinking session when he decided to stop, "You know how a pumpkin
is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles or at least I
thought there wasn't anyone around" he stated in a telephone interview.

Aylor went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked
out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it,
and proceeded to satisfy his alleged 'need.' "Guess I was really into it, you
know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.

In the process of doing the deed, Aylor failed to notice an approaching
police car and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor
approached him.

"It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said officer Taylor. "I
walked up to Mr. Aylor and he's just banging away at this pumpkin."
Officer Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Aylor.

"I said, "Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a
pumpkin?"

He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he
looked me straight in the face and said.....

"A pumpkin? ..... Shit...is it midnight already?"

[Cotties]

not bad OIC:55This was recently in the Seattle Paper... The title of the article was
"Best Come Back Line Ever."

In summary, the police arrested Robert Aylor, 59+ year old white male, in
a pumpkin patch 11:38 p.m. on Friday night.

On Monday, at the County courthouse, Aylor was charged with lewd and
lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication.

The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way
home from a drinking session when he decided to stop, "You know how a pumpkin
is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles or at least I
thought there wasn't anyone around" he stated in a telephone interview.

Aylor went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked
out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it,
and proceeded to satisfy his alleged 'need.' "Guess I was really into it, you
know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.

In the process of doing the deed, Aylor failed to notice an approaching
police car and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor
approached him.

"It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said officer Taylor. "I
walked up to Mr. Aylor and he's just banging away at this pumpkin."
Officer Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Aylor.

"I said, "Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a
pumpkin?"

He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he
looked me straight in the face and said.....

"A pumpkin? ..... Shit...is it midnight already?"

[Phlirt]

This was recently in the Seattle Paper... The title of the article was
"Best Come Back Line Ever."

In summary, the police arrested Robert Aylor, 59+ year old white male, in
a pumpkin patch 11:38 p.m. on Friday night.

On Monday, at the County courthouse, Aylor was charged with lewd and
lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication.

The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way
home from a drinking session when he decided to stop, "You know how a pumpkin
is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles or at least I
thought there wasn't anyone around" he stated in a telephone interview.

Aylor went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked
out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it,
and proceeded to satisfy his alleged 'need.' "Guess I was really into it, you
know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.

In the process of doing the deed, Aylor failed to notice an approaching
police car and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor
approached him.

"It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said officer Taylor. "I
walked up to Mr. Aylor and he's just banging away at this pumpkin."
Officer Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Aylor.

"I said, "Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a
pumpkin?"

He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he
looked me straight in the face and said.....

"A pumpkin? ..... Shit...is it midnight already?"

:lmao

[cherokeered]

Ethernet is a registered trademark of Xerox, Unix is a registered trademark of AT&T.

[cherokeered]

Warner Communications paid $28 million for the copyright to the song "Happy Birthday".

[Cotties]

The longest recorded flight of a chicken is 13 seconds!

[Amaretto]

The Three Stooges guy known as Curly was named Jerome at birth. (see the useless information you're missing out on if you're not playing the daily quiz?)

[Madison-Mike]

If you gently squeeze a banana, it will separate into 3 pieces naturally.

[UltimateNaneki]

If you gently squeeze a banana, it will separate into 3 pieces naturally.


But if I squeeze your banana....white goo will cum out :lmao

[Madison-Mike]

But if I squeeze your banana....white goo will cum out :lmao

I hear the white goo from said banana is very tasty, :lf and has many nutritional qualities. Besides, Ulti, I would be very happy to have you squeeze my banana to see if it would split into pieces or white goo would cum out...

[Lacey]

This was recently in the Seattle Paper... The title of the article was
"Best Come Back Line Ever."

In summary, the police arrested Robert Aylor, 59+ year old white male, in
a pumpkin patch 11:38 p.m. on Friday night.

On Monday, at the County courthouse, Aylor was charged with lewd and
lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication.

The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way
home from a drinking session when he decided to stop, "You know how a pumpkin
is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles or at least I
thought there wasn't anyone around" he stated in a telephone interview.

Aylor went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked
out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it,
and proceeded to satisfy his alleged 'need.' "Guess I was really into it, you
know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.

In the process of doing the deed, Aylor failed to notice an approaching
police car and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor
approached him.

"It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said officer Taylor. "I
walked up to Mr. Aylor and he's just banging away at this pumpkin."
Officer Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Aylor.

"I said, "Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a
pumpkin?"

He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he
looked me straight in the face and said.....

"A pumpkin? ..... Shit...is it midnight already?"


:lmao

[fishon]

This was recently in the Seattle Paper... The title of the article was
"Best Come Back Line Ever."

In summary, the police arrested Robert Aylor, 59+ year old white male, in
a pumpkin patch 11:38 p.m. on Friday night.

On Monday, at the County courthouse, Aylor was charged with lewd and
lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication.

The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way
home from a drinking session when he decided to stop, "You know how a pumpkin
is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles or at least I
thought there wasn't anyone around" he stated in a telephone interview.

Aylor went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked
out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it,
and proceeded to satisfy his alleged 'need.' "Guess I was really into it, you
know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.

In the process of doing the deed, Aylor failed to notice an approaching
police car and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor
approached him.

"It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said officer Taylor. "I
walked up to Mr. Aylor and he's just banging away at this pumpkin."
Officer Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Aylor.

"I said, "Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a
pumpkin?"

He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he
looked me straight in the face and said.....

"A pumpkin? ..... Shit...is it midnight already?"






Shit, she said she wasn't gonna tell anyone!!!!!

[Amaretto]

"A pumpkin? ..... Shit...is it midnight already?"

OMG, that is the funniest thing i have read in a LONG time!!!!! :lmao

[p.a]

This was recently in the Seattle Paper... The title of the article was
"Best Come Back Line Ever."

In summary, the police arrested Robert Aylor, 59+ year old white male, in
a pumpkin patch 11:38 p.m. on Friday night.

On Monday, at the County courthouse, Aylor was charged with lewd and
lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication.

The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way
home from a drinking session when he decided to stop, "You know how a pumpkin
is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles or at least I
thought there wasn't anyone around" he stated in a telephone interview.

Aylor went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked
out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it,
and proceeded to satisfy his alleged 'need.' "Guess I was really into it, you
know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.

In the process of doing the deed, Aylor failed to notice an approaching
police car and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor
approached him.

"It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said officer Taylor. "I
walked up to Mr. Aylor and he's just banging away at this pumpkin."
Officer Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Aylor.

"I said, "Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a
pumpkin?"

He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he
looked me straight in the face and said.....

"A pumpkin? ..... Shit...is it midnight already?"

:lmao :lmao :lmao

[hank69]

Having already downed a few power drinks, she turned around, faced him, looked him straight in the eye and said, 'Listen up, Buddy. I screw anybody, any time, anywhere, your place, my place, in the car, front door, back door, on the ground, standing up, sitting down, naked or with clothes on, dirty, clean . . . it doesn't matter to me. I've been doing it ever since I got out of college and I just love it.'

Eyes now wide with interest, he responded, ''No kidding. I'm a lawyer, too. What firm are you with?'

[hank69]

THE FRANK FELDMAN STORY

A man walks into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, 'Perfect timing. You're just like Frank.'

Passenger: 'Who?'

Cabbie: 'Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time.'

Passenger: 'There are always a few clouds over everybody..'

Cabbie: 'Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy.'

Passenger: 'Sounds like he was something really special.

Cabbie: 'There's more... He had a memory like a computer. Could remember everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman, he could do everything right.'

Passenger. 'Wow, some guy then.'

Cabbie: 'He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too - he was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman.'

Passenger: 'An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?'

Cabbie: 'Well, I never actually met Frank. I just married his freaking widow.'

[tiger50]

Did you ever wonder what the WD in WD-40 stands for? The name was lifted right out chemist Norm Larsen's laboratory notebook. Way back in 1953, he was trying to concoct an anti-corrosion formula, which worked on the basic principle of displacing water. On his 40th try, Larsen finally got it right. Hence the name WD-40. It literally means Water Displacer, 40th try.

[tiger50]

The oldest business in the United States of America is the cymbal company Zildjian which was founded in Constantinople in 1623.

[Huzyerdaddi]

An unclaimed boundary between two continental plates is nobody's fault

[Papa Chubby]

The most users ever online on M&L was 389, 06-21-2005 at 10:12 PM.

[UltimateNaneki]

Hoss will never give birth, he is a man. But he claims that getting a tattoo is far worse then giving birth. You are lucky that you will never see how wrong you are darling! :kk

[MagicalBeing]

i had a kidney stone.. that is closer to give birth... It is so damn hard and painful..

[UltimateNaneki]

And so is a kidney infection....man I thought my back was giving birth...

[MagicalBeing]

lol... it is so painful... i will never forget that...

[UltimateNaneki]

burning your foot hurts

[MagicalBeing]

burning your foot hurts

i am sure it does.. getting your cock bitten by a drunk girlfriend hurts too...

[UltimateNaneki]

i am sure it does.. getting your cock bitten by a drunk girlfriend hurts too...

poor thing...is your cock better now??

[MagicalBeing]

yes.. i was fast enough to live another day... The experience made it stronger.. :)

[UltimateNaneki]

I'm going to Dallas in Feb 2008 to see some hockey games and meet some people...maybe even you, MagicalBeing!

[MagicalBeing]

that will be great... are you a big hockey fan? I dont follow hockey that much.. i like basketball and football

[UltimateNaneki]

Well Football is good, but not the Dallas cowboys :lmao
Yes the Stars are my team !

[MagicalBeing]

I used to live in Cal so I liked the 49ers.. i do watch the cowboys sometimes... I don't mind if they do well

[UltimateNaneki]

It's the 12th today, and in 4 days, I will have been here for 1 full year....and I still can't find the exit door! :lmao

[MagicalBeing]

it is agreat place.. i like it... don't look for an exit..

[UltimateNaneki]

It's a wonderful place to meet great people.

[MagicalBeing]

i was so happy when i found this place.. to find a site where you can find people that think similar to you and look for similar things... I know that i am not crazy..

[MagicalBeing]

how many posts do i need to see the pictures?

[UltimateNaneki]

you need to wait about 3hrs till Penny changes your status...sleep on it babe!

[MagicalBeing]

thanks.. i was going crazy about it... I wanted to see some picture.. hoping to see more of your nipples.. hehehe

[UltimateNaneki]

thanks.. i was going crazy about it... I wanted to see some picture.. hoping to see more of your nipples.. hehehe

for that you will need to see spare_change about it:D

[MagicalBeing]

spare_change.. can change my view of life? :)

[UltimateNaneki]

no he has all the porn shots...:lmao

[MagicalBeing]

hahahaha .... he has his priorities right..

[spare_change]

We have a package deal going on right now -- 15 for $135 -- normally $240 --- call it our introductory package .....

If you sign up for the UN Booster Club, for a fee of only $19.95 per month, you receive an additional 3 pictures every month for 36 months ... we accept cash and credit cards only, no personal checks. (If you pay in Canadian dollars, I think it works out to $4.13 a month).

And finally, if you join the Lifetime UltimateNaneki Sexuality Tribute group (better known as LUST), in addition to the monthly subscription of 3 pictures, each month you will receive a personally autographed pair of Ulti's Undies, properly packaged just for you ... a prize coveted by connoisseurs and perverts worldwide!

[UltimateNaneki]

We have a package deal going on right now -- 15 for $135 -- normally $240 --- call it our introductory package .....

If you sign up for the UN Booster Club, for a fee of only $19.95 per month, you receive an additional 3 pictures every month for 36 months ... we accept cash and credit cards only, no personal checks. (If you pay in Canadian dollars, I think it works out to $4.13 a month).

And finally, if you join the Lifetime UltimateNaneki Sexuality Tribute group (better known as LUST), in addition to the monthly subscription of 3 pictures, each month you will receive a personally autographed pair of Ulti's Undies, properly packaged just for you ... a prize coveted by connoisseurs and perverts worldwide!

:lmao :lmao now that's why I like spare so much...:lmao

[cherokeered]

I have pms...............and my boobs are annoying me

[spare_change]

I have pms...............and my boobs are annoying me



Gee, that's funny --- they don't annoy me at all.

[Cotties]

over 2 million people a year are infected with Cooties

[Sylar]

The human head weighs 8 lbs

[cherokeered]

The average ear of corn has 800 kernels arranged in 16 rows.

[tiger50]

The average ear of corn has 800 kernels arranged in 16 rows.

now thats just farkin useless, i dont care.....:sc

[cherokeered]

now thats just farkin useless, i dont care.....:sc


TY....:D

[Sneaky]

The beverage TAB? The letters in the name stand for Totally Aritificial Beverage

[tiger50]

The beverage TAB? The letters in the name stand for Totally Aritificial Beverage

nah, stands for Totaliser Agency Board....:D

[cherokeered]

A coat hanger is 44 inches long when straightened.

[cherokeered]

Mel Blanc (the voice of Bugs Bunny) was allergic to carrots


The glue on Isreali postage stamps is certified kosher.

The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets

[tiger50]

A person uses approximately fifty-seven sheets of toilet paper each day

[tiger50]

A chicken with red earlobes will produce brown eggs, and a chicken with white earlobes will produce white eggs

[cherokeered]

A chicken with red earlobes will produce brown eggs, and a chicken with white earlobes will produce white eggs


I didnt even know they had earlobes...let alone colored ones....the things ya learn on here....lol

[tiger50]

In order to scare away predators, Giant petrels, a type of seabird, throw up all over the intruder.

[cherokeered]

In order to scare away predators, Giant petrels, a type of seabird, throw up all over the intruder.


that would work on me....ick...lol

[tiger50]

Owls swallow their prey whole because they have no teeth. After approximately 12 hours they cough up the feathers, bones, and fur in a shape of a football pellet

[cherokeered]

95% of men compared to 70% of women masturbate.......

[cherokeered]

sex between snakes lasts between 6 and 12 hours.....

[Sweetdreams069]

sex between snakes lasts between 6 and 12 hours.....

Always heard snakes were friendly creatures.

[cherokeered]

In seattle, a dog must pay full bus fare if he ways more than 25 pounds.....

Playing with Silly String is against the law in Lodi, california

It's illegal in Indiana to open a can of food with a gun

In tennessee its illegal to sell balogna on Sundays

[Huzyerdaddi]

In Louisiana you can buy alcohol at 18 but you can't drink it until 21 (or at least it used to be that way when I lived there)

[spare_change]

In Louisiana you can buy alcohol at 18 but you can't drink it until 21 (or at least it used to be that way when I lived there)

... which is good cuz most of the alcohol bought in Louisiana is about 15 minutes old when you buy it.

[UltimateNaneki]

Owls swallow their prey whole because they have no teeth. After approximately 12 hours they cough up the feathers, bones, and fur in a shape of a football pellet

Thanks for that bit of info there tiger...that will help me sleep when I go camping in the country now! :whee:

[Huzyerdaddi]

If you take the volume of the oceans and divided it between every single person on earth, each person is entitled to 260 million cubic metres of water

[Sylar]

If you take the volume of the oceans and divided it between every single person on earth, each person is entitled to 260 million cubic metres of water

I kinda suck at math...can you break that down into "sips" for me? lol...

[Sylar]

Odontophobia is the fear of teeth.

[Cmplsvlovr]

The plastic casing on the end of a shoelace is called an Aglet.

[OICurready4me]

A South Korean movie theater owner decided that the movie The Sound of Music was too long. His solution? He shortened the movie by cutting out all of the musical scenes!

[OICurready4me]

There are approximately ten million bricks in the Empire State Building

[cyclops]

The dot over the letter “i” is called a tittle.

[cherokeered]

Average Lifespan of a human taste buds: 7-10 days

[cherokeered]

The Sonoran Coral snake and the western hook-nosed snake both fart to scare off predators.

[tiger50]

The Sonoran Coral snake and the western hook-nosed snake both fart to scare off predators.

uhhh what type of fart????

[Dominant Master]

There are 1024 megabyes in a single gigabyte.

[cherokeered]

Gorillas can't swim

[SkiBum980]

There are only 10 red Skittles in a bag......

[Dominant Master]

There are only 10 red Skittles in a bag......

No way...

[SkiBum980]

No way...

Totally serious....they did a study and they only put 10 in because it would make kids go on this crazy sugar high if they put more in

[Dominant Master]

Totally serious....they did a study and they only put 10 in because it would make kids go on this crazy sugar high if they put more in

lol nice. Skittles own.

[cherokeered]

Mouse sex lasts only 5 seconds

[SkiBum980]

Mouse sex lasts only 5 seconds

Finally I can last longer than something.

[Dominant Master]

Windows Vista is over a year old now...

[Affect]

In a survey conducted in 2000 by Kimberly-Clark, it was found that men prefer to fold their toilet paper, and women like to wad it. What's up with that?

[Dominant Master]

In a survey conducted in 2000 by Kimberly-Clark, it was found that men prefer to fold their toilet paper, and women like to wad it. What's up with that?

LOL...Many possible responses to this one.

[UltimateNaneki]

Dominators are nowhere without a submissive person around!

[Sylar]

A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.

[UltimateNaneki]

Yasha's avatars always look so sexy.

[Sylar]

Yasha's avatars always look so sexy.

Why thank you!!:kk

[Djs1967]

Dominate me

[ksue7274]

Dominate me

Well now, nothing like playing hard to get. :D