If u new now what u know would u get married

[antman]

Hi to all here if u new what u know now would u get married again? I am keen for any input to this question.

[travelman]

Great question. One I'm sure we have all thought about numerous times.
When you say "get married again", do you mean to the same person or just marriage in general?

I would say yes to both. I have a great relationship with my wife and have no regrets. Do I think about what it would be like to be single? Absolutely.
If you were to make a list, there would be pros and cons, positives and negatives, but in my case I would do it again.

[NotTooGirly]

The one thing I have learned about myself over the past few years is that I am someone who should never have married in the first place. So that would be a no for me.

[Penny]

Good question, I probably would have finished school first.

[WandaRing]

No, I was too young, and I chose to get married as a way out of my life. I felt it would be easier, and I was tired (emotionally, mentally and physically) of dealing with family issues...I thought being married would solve my problems and allow me to grow up. It didn't, it just presented different problems and I realize today, that I was growing up, just with a lot more responsibility then what most people my age had to deal with and if I had not listened to my husband, I would have gotten through it. :nopity

If there is a next time that I do get married, it will be for the right reasons and not because I need to run away from my life or believe I can't do things on my own.

[MarriedQt]

Of course I'd do it all again......I waited until I found my Mr.Right and married him....I'd marry him over and over if I had to!

[lonelyguyinohio]

No I do not think so. The security is nice and my kids are unreplaceable but the utopia of marriage is not what I thought it would be. Most of the married friends I have be it M or F feel the same way.

I guess I am just down on the whole marriage thing!
Hence why I have found you all!

[Samgoody]

WOW, what a GREAT question. Knowing what I know now... no, I would not do it.

[gdg]

I would get married but make different choices.

[Charmed]

Yes, I would.....

[Alfa]

Welcome Antman.

I have come to a similar conclusion as NotTooGirly's: as much as I love my kids, if I had a "do over", I would (and should) stay unmarried for life.

[Tndream]

Without the slightest hesitation I say " absolutely positively without a doubt HELL NO!!!"
I wouldnt marry him again even if you paid me a million dollars!
It is just a sham I wasted so many precious years wth him.
Ah well live and learn eh?

[Domus]

Of course and probably earlier...:)

[PunkyBob]

Married??? At this rate I may not have chosen to be born.

[Icarus]

I'll just quote myself from another thread. It's easier and still ups my post count.

If I were single again, I don't think I would get married a second time. I'd be more than willing to get into a long term, monogamous, relationship. But, I would feel no compulsion to get married. Conversely, I would also have fun going out with some arm candy.

On a side note, if my hypothetical single self of the future had the opportunity to travel back and give advice to my single self of the past, I would still recommend getting married. I guess I just have the view that there is a finite window in which to start a family and I'm getting beyond that window.

[RedVixen]

I think I would have still gotten married, but:

1) I would have waited until I was older

2) Not married the man I'm married to now

[fly]

Yeah with the RIGHT guy I would have......

[travelman]

Very interesting responses...brings out a lot of emotion regardless of the answer.

[lovely2]

I agree with Red...

would've waited a bit longer... and would've made a better choice

[Sensual Woman]

not to the man I am married to now...but I would to someone who truly loved me and treated me well...

[Lacey]

I would still have gotten married, but I would have made some ground rules first. LOL

[Big O]

In a heartbeat but I would have waited until I found the right person.

[fever]

I would have waited longer...and who knows what would have happened in that time.

[Sensual Woman]

I like being married....just not to my husband. I love belonging to and with a man, being a couple....and when I love someone, I am very faithful.

[gdg]

It is sad that allot of us say if it was to the "right" person. That is my concern, how the hell do we know who the right person is?

[Sensual Woman]

It is sad that allot of us say if it was to the "right" person. That is my concern, how the hell do we know who the right person is?

All I can tell you hun, is that it would have to be someone who respects me, loves me, values me, supports me, is my best friend, laughs with me, makes love with me, holds me, appreciates me.....my husband is none of these .....I believe in marriage though, and when I love and am loved in return, I give to him all that I am, faithfully, completely, and unconditionally.

[gatorgal]

I love married life.. dont love the one im married to.

[Fwd40s]

This is so tough because I love my kids and if I didn't get married then and to her then I wouldn't have my kids. But if I can ignore that fact then I would definately not have gotten married at that time and not to her.

[softrosepetal]

I wouldn't trade my kids but I would not remarry. When I get out of this situation I think I will stick to a friend with benefits. If I do think about remarrying I hope my mom slaps me awake!!! lol

[MiSt09]

Good question! If I had it to do again, I would get married, just not to the same man. We got married too young and too soon into the relationship. But, the one good thing that has come out of this marriage is my kids.

[Mojo]

Yes, I would.....

me too

[Krystal]

I would wait a few years to make sure it was what I wanted....like my mother suggested.

[OICurready4me]

No, I was too young, and I chose to get married as a way out of my life. I felt it would be easier, and I was tired (emotionally, mentally and physically) of dealing with family issues...I thought being married would solve my problems and allow me to grow up. It didn't, it just presented different problems and I realize today, that I was growing up, just with a lot more responsibility then what most people my age had to deal with and if I had not listened to my husband, I would have gotten through it. :nopity

If there is a next time that I do get married, it will be for the right reasons and not because I need to run away from my life or believe I can't do things on my own.

I agree, Annie. A person has to get married for the right reasons and not as some sort of escape or to just figure "now is the time" because you put a time limit on when it would happen.

I fall into the second category. I always told myself I wouldn't get married until I was at least 30. Well, lo and behold, my first long term girlfriend after I turned 30 I thought was "the one", mainly because I felt it was time to get married, instead of thinking that I couldn't live without her or that she was the missing piece to my life. I never felt that way at all so it's easy to see why we failed. The testament of marriage I still believe in greatly. I actually like the feeling of being in a loving relationship. It is fulfilling to me so I would love to do it again but only with one particular person.

[gina99]

I'd get married but much later in life than i did. 18 is much too young but as they say u can't go back.

[92115guy]

I have been married twice. Once when I was 21 and again when I was 36. The first marriage ended in less than a year and this one is going on 4 years so in essence I did know what I do now and I did it again. I was much, much smarter the second time though.

james

[farmer69]

Yes I Would IN A HEART BEAT

[sandycrotch]

Double edged sword:

One edge, Not a chance in hell!!!!!
Other edge, I have three great kids that I would not trade for anything in the world.

That makes that a hard question to answer. A more appropriate question might be,"Knowing what you know now, will you get married again"?

I would have to say the answer to that one right now is, "I don't have a F%#*ing clue. Thought I wanted to, but now am not sure. Mixing kids from two marriages appears to be much harder than I had originally thought it might be.

[sassynsweet]

apparently my answer is no since I've been divorced for a long time. But I have no regrets either - it taught me what marriage is not. I loved being married, just not to him. I guess I knew it going in too, but thought that what I was hoping to find was perhaps just a fairy tale, and that it was time to be realistic and give up the dream. Today I still dream, but alone. I need to find the middle ground.

[Crowe64]

It's funny depending on when you asked me this question my answer would have varied greatle. At first I would have said no, I married way to young and should have lived life a bit first, later I questioned who I was married to, did I make the right choice or did I just pick someone that was like a security blanket. Now I would say of course I would, I can't imagine my life without my spouse and would be a very different person today without her and I think not for the better. I have found that like buying a new pair of shoes the longer you walk around in them the better they feel, and when it's the sad day to say goodbye to a favorite pair you can't imagine yourself wearing anything else.

[learman3]

There are a lot of things I would have done differently.

I would not have gotten married at that time. Most likely when it did come time it wouldn't have been to my wife either.

[UltimateNaneki]

I would still get married but not to the ex I just divorced !

[rj1002]

I would still get married. I'm basically monogamous by nature and want the deep long-term commitment that marriage provides. But I probably would not have married the same woman and definitely would have not married her without first spending lots of time talking about what that commitment should mean, especially in the bedroom. Our marriage is good enough in other ways, not the least of which would be our two fantastic kids. But lack of a love life makes it so that, even on the best days, married life is just tolerable. Maybe I romanticize, but if you fix that one aspect (yes, I know it's a very big fix that's required), and I can't imagine any better way to live.

[Shawn]

I may be in the minority here... but yes I would. I think I did wait long enough, and there is just to much to list in my life that I would not want "un-done" I knew what I was getting into, made my decision and have accepted it, sure there are things that I wish were different but in the big picture of things I am in a much better place than I can picture myself if I were single.... sure I miss those days where beer cans and pizza bows added that style element to my dwelling, but I can do with out the " Am I clean enough to wear" game.

[MrHyde]

The ideal marriage is not 50-50, it's 100-100.

[gspotlover]

YES! But I would have been a better husband from the start. I think knowing then what I know know would have helped me be a better husband and father. We would have been so much happier if I would have been different.

So again, the answer is yes, I would have married her, and we both would have been happier and more fulfilled.

[bigbooty]

No not to him anyway...he's selfish and self centered and could care less about my feeling or needs...so no i had more when i was dating and single...

[bigbooty]

rj1002 do you do your part in the relationship...i mean do you listen to her take her out and show her romance and help around the house? if not maybe you should try it. in other words make her needs more important than your own and she'll fall in love with you all over again. i know if my husband put forth any effort to put my feelings and needs first i would jump his bones almost everyday...

[Luna]

Yes I think so. Would not trade my kids for anything. I would make more time for us though. More ground rules, as others have said above.

[evolve]

Hi to all here if u new what u know now would u get married again? I am keen for any input to this question.

Have you met the single/divorced men out there? I should be thankful every minute of the day for the sweet man I married. Yeah, he has flaws but he is a great husband and a great father. I couldn't ask for more....maybe a little more sex. :ok

[yaser]

Have you met the single/divorced men out there? I should be thankful every minute of the day for the sweet man I married. Yeah, he has flaws but he is a great husband and a great father. I couldn't ask for more....maybe a little more sex. :ok

Evolve,I wonder if you become more communicative to him about what you want and why..

[evolve]

Believe me, I have.

[yaser]

I believe because you are so attratcive from even that far Evolve..I would never leave you without touching every cell...

[COWGIRL_LEO7]

Yes I would get married to him again but I would also already be divorced too!

[cheerymissy_34]

no i cant say that if i had to do it over again i would marry him

[clifton54]

this is a hard question for me because on one hand i'd have to say no i wouldn't marry her. but if we didn't get married i wouldn't have my wonderful son. and he's the best thing to happen to me.

[cherokeered]

I would skip the marriage

[OICurready4me]

Hell no, I wouldn't have married her.

[MIGHTY]

I would have married him still. In life there are many courses. We, in turn, learn valuable lessons. I would not wish to go through what I have in the past, but would not have learned from my mistakes, and his, if I had not said I do in the first place.

[lonely1now]

I would choose to get married again because my kids have been well worth the effort. I would have made different choices since getting married and would have already have divorced, but I would have still married him to begin with.

[jman]

I might but I would be very selective and take my time to make sure that I was in love not just in lust.

[Zanius]

No

[Marigold]

No. I wouldn't marry AT ALL. EVER.
That would mean not having my kids either, please don't get me wrong, but right now I've got 3 teen boys in the house and ,DANGIT, as much as I love them, it. is. difficult.

I dream of just walking away from this house and starting all over somewhere else.

[rj1002]

rj1002 do you do your part in the relationship...i mean do you listen to her take her out and show her romance and help around the house? if not maybe you should try it. in other words make her needs more important than your own and she'll fall in love with you all over again. i know if my husband put forth any effort to put my feelings and needs first i would jump his bones almost everyday...


I've actually consciously tried that for extended periods of time. There comes a point, though, where you start to feel that it's pointless because nothing seems to work. I guess it's a chicken and egg problem. If I felt that she were in love with me and actually wanted to be "jumping my bones" even once in a while, it would be natural for me to be doing as you suggest. But maybe you've inspired me to give it another shot.

[goodolboy99]

I don't like being alone, so I would definitely marry. However, I would have waited and married a little later in life and definitely with someone else. I can say that I don't regret having my two wonderful kids, but I do wish that we could work things out so that they would have a better chance at a stable home environment and a place so that the grand kids could go visit Grandma AND Grandpa. At this point I believe that ship has sailed, so I feel sorry for my kids and believe that if I would have chosen better, I wouldn't have to put my kids through that.