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* Continued from 4th post in the Empowerment.... thread *

He went on vacation with his family for 2 weeks so our time to speak to one another became severely limited. From around 10 hours a day of contact to barely 1/2 an hour here and there. Ordinarily I wouldve been fine with it but I was going through a particularly difficult, life altering chronic health problem and all I thought I needed was to be able to spend a bit more time speaking with him and having him continue making me feel as desired, important and loved as had been before the vacation.

I went into 'victim' mode, was on a bad narcotic pain medication that caused me to act out of character and with the thought that it was all too hard, I overdosed. I didn't just do it quietly though, I let him know what I was doing as I was doing it and severely freaking him out because he had no way of getting me help.

When I came out of the ICU I contacted him barely remembering that he knew anything about what I'd doneand just needing him to tell me he loved me and evrything was ok. Unfortunately I had kept him updated through almost the whole overdose until the point that I went into a coma. He couldn't contact me, couldn't contact anyone to see how I was. He assumed the worse. When I finally made contact with him and he knew I was ok he was relieved obviously but also very angry, frustrated and disappointed by what I'd done and what I'd put him through.
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Empowerment!! Part 2

Posted 08-29-2012 at 01:45 PM by oz_nymph.
He came back to me I think within a day claiming he couldnt stay mad with me. Everything was okay again. But it wasn't.... he began to distance himself, our contact became even more limited. The couple of days before he got home from vacation my hubby and I reconciled but I still wanted to maintain the relationship with 'my love'. So I devised a plan so that we could still be in contact as before but I could keep my husband feeling like he was the most important thing to me. 'My love' surprisingly supported this and I felt that distance once again but I was detemined to win him back. I didn't bank on how intelligent hubby was and no matter how failsafe I thought I'd made my email accounts and yahoo logs, he was suspicious enough to go hunting for evidence.

I half heartedly made the decision to give my husband another 6 months (making him believe I would put 100% into making it work). It worked or probably 4-5 days until he became suspicious again and went on the hunt for evidence. His intention was not to mention it to me and try his hardest to win me back. Obviously when youre feeling that betrayed its hard to keep a check on it and let me have it with all guns blazing.

Meanwhile 'my love' had come to his own conclusion and felt that if I couldn't handle the limited contact we'd had on vacation how in the hell was I going to be in the States with no support system and no guarantee I'd see him even every couple of days. So although I was upset, I accepted it and we agreed to remain friends but knew thw attraction was still there and if life suddenly became different we would be together.
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