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Good Enough

Posted 09-08-2017 at 01:15 PM by Just A Girl
I think during various points in all of our lives, we all struggle with our self esteem. If you haven't, I'm jealous. If you have, then perhaps you will relate more to this blog than those that have not.
Generally, my life is pretty happy. I love my new home and the slower, simpler life than I'd known. My job is fairly normal in that some days I love it and some days I hate it. I'm blessed to work from home and I get paid pretty well for what I do. I have an amazingly perfect Bubba that I couldn't be more proud of. I miss him but as our children grow into successful adults, that is what happens. What I'm trying to say is that my life is relatively happy.
Since I've moved and settled in, I've found new things that I enjoy. My birds Ohhhh how they entertain me. I find great joy in the silence of being on my porch watching my feathered friends. I've started meditating and doing yoga daily. I love how it makes me feel. I feel very centered and calm, a calm I haven't felt on a regular basis probably ever.
The past couple of weeks have been a challenge for me to focus on this happy life I've built. I have amazing friends and family. I know they think the world of me. The thought that keeps spinning through my mind is that I'm just not quite good enough. I'm good enough for some things but not others. Why do I let this one very general feeling or thought dominate my emotions? And perhaps that's more my own perception than reality. I just believe that our own perceptions can become reality, so I'm trying desperately to focus on facts versus feelings.
I'm afraid that if I don't get over this stumbling block soon that I will lash out and revert back to this very angry, aggressive, woman that keeps everyone at a distance that I was several years ago. I don't know why I feel this way. I feel like there is this burning rage building and I have to talk myself out of unloading on people that don't deserve that, almost every day.
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SunnyD's Avatar
You actually have made the perfect start to taking control of the self destructive monster you know lives within you so it can not win! The meditating and yoga will help align your mind, body and soul so keep it up and if you find you don't have time look into doing the Five Tibetan Rites its only about 15 minutes first thing in the morning. When negative thoughts or feelings start running through your mind keep a memory book of accomplishments (that you continually add to during your positive moods) to look through and don't put it down until you are smiling again!
If you use pictures of your mom, husband, son, house, etc.. make sure you add words to how you have benefited them so in your negative mood it triggers a memory of your positive impacts. The most important part of all of this is that you teach yourself to regularly recognize and reaffirm the positives by updating your memory book!!!
Posted 09-10-2017 at 02:50 PM by SunnyD SunnyD is offline
Old
DomesticDiva's Avatar
Love you Boo
Posted 09-12-2017 at 01:30 PM by DomesticDiva DomesticDiva is offline
Old
OneFineDay's Avatar
You're special, JaG, and loved more than you will ever really know ...
Posted 09-23-2017 at 02:15 AM by OneFineDay OneFineDay is offline
Old
OneFineDay's Avatar
Just another hug, good enough girl !
Posted 04-10-2018 at 03:51 PM by OneFineDay OneFineDay is offline
 
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