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Rating: 2 votes, 5.00 average.

Figure vs. Personality

Posted 11-13-2008 at 10:12 PM by Heart
I can't go into much on the background for many reasons....but I do need to vent.

I hear, non-stop, on this site that personality is the most important. But I've noticed that when it comes down to it the body figure ALWAYS wins and personality is still sucking hined tit.

I have a thread regarding Plus Sized Women. I read it upon occassion but some remarks hurt and I can get the same opinion from my husband and I do not come to this site to hear what I can already hear at home or on the phone or in an email. But my point is....what exactly are we looking for in another person?

Do we truly go out there (and I'm speaking from the perspective of a married wife soon to be single) looking for what we do not have at home? Are we "growing up" and looking past fake boobs and thighs to the ears? Are muscled chests more of a turn on than a growing belly? Are comb overs really a problem?

I'm asking these questions because I'm starting to feel like I'm in the minority of all minorities! When you truly and I mean absolutely no doubt about it....in like/love with someone does it really matter past their personality? Because in all honesty when we fall for someone it is who they are....what their mind is made up of....not their cup size or pant size...right? Or am I totally from Venus?

I am told constantly that my personality is wonderful. I am funny, sassy, and fun. So....does it entirely matter that I'm a size 18??? Does it matter that I lost damn near 40 pounds a few years ago and messed up while losing this weight and did NOT exercise so now I have loose skin? Does it matter that my arms flop?? I am SERIOUS...does it change who I am? Does it change my wittiness and my sarcastic "kiss my ass" sassiness?? Do I become a wallflower automatically?? Because, seriously....I am just me...no matter my size. To be honest....I do become sassier and bitchier the smaller I get. Why? Because I HATE it when I get the whistles then KNOWING I wasn't getting them at the weight I once was. I might sound as if I'm sipping loco weed in my tea but I'm serious about all of this.....

Will personality ever outweigh figure?
Total Comments 6

Comments

Old
PunkyBob's Avatar
Sure will. Many of my past gfs were women on the heavy side. Why? Because thy were fun to be with, easy to get along with, interesting and yes, great in the sack. And yeah, I will look at a skinnier woman...hell, I look at most women. BUT...what's visual is really only surface. I've dated models and dancers and many of then did not last because they had the personality of a troll. Hang in there, girl...it's not the weight, it's who's inside. Really.
Posted 11-14-2008 at 03:57 PM by PunkyBob PunkyBob is offline
Old
msu's Avatar

It already does.......

I'm asking these questions because I'm starting to feel like I'm in the minority of all minorities! When you truly and I mean absolutely no doubt about it....in like/love with someone does it really matter past their personality? Because in all honesty when we fall for someone it is who they are....what their mind is made up of....not their cup size or pant size...right? Or am I totally from Venus?

I am told constantly that my personality is wonderful. I am funny, sassy, and fun. So....does it entirely matter that I'm a size 18??? Does it matter that I lost damn near 40 pounds a few years ago and messed up while losing this weight and did NOT exercise so now I have loose skin? Does it matter that my arms flop?? I am SERIOUS...does it change who I am? Does it change my wittiness and my sarcastic "kiss my ass" sassiness?? Do I become a wallflower automatically?? Because, seriously....I am just me...no matter my size. To be honest....I do become sassier and bitchier the smaller I get. Why? Because I HATE it when I get the whistles then KNOWING I wasn't getting them at the weight I once was. I might sound as if I'm sipping loco weed in my tea but I'm serious about all of this.....

Will personality ever outweigh figure?

Heart, I feel I have a pretty good platform on which to comment on this.

The day I married my wife, I was 5' 10", and weighed 132 pounds. She was 5' 2", and weighed 213 pounds. I didn't care about the weight. I loved her.

Almost 21 years later, the love keeps on going. I am now 240 pounds. She, with great regimen after a lap-band procedure, is in the 180's. She wants to lose 20 more, at some point.

I've always told her, and especially so when she was deciding on whether to have the lap-band (two years ago), that the ONLY thing that concerned me was her long-term health. As long as I've known her Grandma, my memories of her are always her sitting on a couch or chair, because of being quite obese.

I know my wife wants to be an active grandparent. Currently, we have "the house the other kids like to come over to", and want to keep it that way (then we know where OUR kids are!).....so........

ALL THIS to say that, Heart, if you were my wife, health would matter, first and foremost. But that's true whether you are a size 18 or a size -2.

As for you dear, YOU have the correct perspective. It does NOT matter that you have some loose skin. It does NOT matter that an arm might flop. It does NOT CHANGE YOU!!!

When someone loves you, truly loves you, those things are simply inconsequential. As for the boobs who whistle at you, since they've already proven their insecure measuring stick, you should promptly spend "zero" more seconds thinking of their action.

The people who are really on your side just don't care about those exterior things. Your heart, your personality, your sassiness, how funny and witty you are, are all the same.

And THAT is what matters.

Let me know who rubs ya the wrong way; I'll look out for you. After all, I have 21 years experience.

Oh, (and this is said sweetly with a large hint of flirt), you can kiss my ass with your lips and sassiness anytime you want.

You ARE loved, Heart. Know that.
Posted 11-15-2008 at 01:14 AM by msu msu is offline
Old
Tndream's Avatar
Hon,
You have seen my pic, you know I too am a big girl.
You know I ve gone through it too.
And you know what?
I don't care what they think.
I dont care if they think I resemble a flaying squirrel in drag rather than a woman in a sleevess top.
I am proud of who I am.
I like to think I am a person with a good heart, a good personality and a good sense of humor.
Yeah ok, I admit I just said that outloud, if you ever call me on it, I will deny any knowledge of ever saying it.

Hon, you are an awsome person, you have a great personality, you have a fantastic sense of humor,
and you have a wonderful soul.
And I dare any man to say otherwise, if he does, he will have to deal with me.

If someone is so shallow as to care about your body only, then you really do not need them in your life, even if it is just a fuck buddy.

Honey,there are so many barbi dol types out there, it is sad and pathetic.
They are gonna spend every cent they have to make themselves look hot, they will lose all sense of who they are.
They will spend all their time and money on plastic surgery, and of course they will have so much downtime in healing, they willnever get a chance to meet people like you.
When all is sad and done, they will have perfect boobs,
nice thighs an a tight ass, and for what?
the person they thought they wanted is married happily to someone with kickin curves and a heartfelt smile.
But they are gonna be alone and bitter, and when the are 50, if they don't keep up on the surgery they will resemble a picasso on a bad acid trip.
Posted 11-16-2008 at 06:42 PM by Tndream Tndream is offline
Old
Midwest girl's Avatar
yes I think it does. But then again, I havent come across a ton of men here that have rebuffed me for my size. I am not new to being called chubby, though I prefer curvy or volptuous, I have learned to have thick skin when it comes to the web. I feel good about myself, I have lost 67 lbs since February and still havent reached my goal weight yet. I changed my life and lifestyle to healthy and active living and in turn has changed my personality. For me, its about self confidence and projecting positivity. So, yeah, I think my personality definitely wins out over my weight. As for as how I treat others, Ive been on both sides of the skinny/fat coin, so I treat everyone with respect as I wish to be treated.
Posted 11-19-2008 at 06:55 PM by Midwest girl Midwest girl is offline
Old
Simply_Suthern's Avatar
Remember love yourself for who you are, no other reason! Love does not look at size, it looks at sincerity.
Posted 08-28-2012 at 12:53 PM by Simply_Suthern Simply_Suthern is offline
Old
justlooking7669's Avatar
Unfortunately I have to admit that I am first attracted to the outer beauty and then the inner. I would much rather be around someone who has an awesome personality over beauty, but for some reason, I always seem to go back to the outer and not the inner. I really don't like that, but I am just being truthful.
Posted 03-28-2013 at 08:33 PM by justlooking7669 justlooking7669 is offline
 
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