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For those of you who do not know me I have been married 21 yrs. A long time. In this amount of time I have found that I have come accustomed to feelings of guilt.

My husband is not the most secure person. I was naive and young when we married and was not the strong person I am today. I let him dictate to me. I allowed him to belittle me and tell me how stupid my interests were. Friends were never good enough, etc...

It is strange how you begin to second guess your every move and allow this garbage you have been fed to eat it's way into your brain like a worm in an apple.

U know the things you enjoy and the goals you have are normal but yet you ask yourself, "am I being unfair?"

I suppose it is like a disease. I can't believe I allowed it and to this day allow it, to a degree. I hate confrontation and hate the way it affects a family.

Family, I look at my son and pray he never treats women that way. I will personally kick his ass! And my daughters, they better not allow this to happen to them. I see my oldest with boyfriends and I don't think she will.

It is easy to say I am weak and I should leave. Maybe I am. I guess that is for me to determine and to work out myself and I have a feeling I will in due time.

What really intrigues me is how a person can be so oblivious to what they are doing. My husband thinks he loves tremendously and sees no faults.

Maybe someone will read this and know they are not alone, or maybe they will read it and think, that I am crazy!
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Tired of Negativity

Posted 03-10-2009 at 01:25 PM by gdgrl
I hate negativity, but I live with it everyday. I hate posting when I am down, but it is a good place to let it all out, so to speak.

Every day brings me a challenge, not the good kind, where u just want to take the challenge and kick ass to overcome it. No, mine always consist of issues with my significant other, he is my biggest challenge. He is a negative person. It is hard to live with someone like that. Now that my kids are older they see it too and it pains me when I hear, "what is up his butt" and things like that. For these are comments I hear all the time. Or when my son tells his father that he is never happy with him, I feel I must compensate somehow for his fathers short comings.

My assistant laughs at me, every morning starts with me in the "dog house" again. It is a never ending story. Seems I work my way out only to be back in it all over again. Wanting to smile and laugh, only fighting back tears instead.

He says I am negative, I do not support his dreams. Although that is bs, I have never stood in his way. I have though shared an opinion and as of late, his dreams are not good for this family. Me being realistic is negativity to him. At some point u have to let go and realize the dream has passed and it may never be, u gave it your best shot.

Anyway, that is my depressing post today! Thanks for the vent.
Total Comments 9

Comments

Old
Han Solo's Avatar
Ummm......I could let him borrow my outfit?? Nobody......I mean NOBODY can be negative wearing THIS outfit!!
Posted 03-10-2009 at 08:07 PM by Han Solo Han Solo is offline
Old
TIGUY's Avatar
you are definitely not alone with a husband like that...I hear the same from many of our members and as for myself, similar circumstances but mainly disrespect.

Oh yeah...the "what's up his butt" comment, it what many guys do when they have no answer to their kids or spouses realistic concerns.

Try making yourself happy short term goals each day...just some thoughts...helps me out.
Posted 03-12-2009 at 01:17 AM by TIGUY TIGUY is offline
Old
scoobertina's Avatar
you are not alone...
Posted 03-12-2009 at 04:41 PM by scoobertina scoobertina is offline
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msu's Avatar
always feel free to vent, either here or my ears are always open.
Posted 03-13-2009 at 02:25 AM by msu msu is offline
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neil48's Avatar
wow, I feel sad for you g but this type of relationship ....

...........Shoot I dont know what to say, just wish some of us here could give you support, a hug just help for you, so sad
Posted 03-22-2009 at 10:00 PM by neil48 neil48 is offline
Old
Guitar Strummer's Avatar
From that guy in the other side of the country. It will get better..you will make it better.

Posted 04-01-2009 at 07:24 PM by Guitar Strummer Guitar Strummer is offline
Updated 04-01-2009 at 07:25 PM by Guitar Strummer (not quite what I expected)
Old
i am sad to hear this and you have made me question myself and how i treat my spouse self examaning it all for this i thank you.
Posted 04-09-2009 at 12:55 PM by stupendous stupendous is offline
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HlpMeEscpe's Avatar
Hi gdgril...after reading your message (thanks for taking the time to send that personal note) in my profile I had to come here to see if I could know a bit more about you and see if I could understand why my 150 touched you in the way it did. Read through blogs and came away with the realization that, yes, we do have much in common. This one struck me in particular as like you, I am tired of my wife's negativity. Personally, I think it is a defense mechanism...but it has just gotten so old. Look me up some time, would like to chat and learn more aobut you and perhaps trade stories, thoughts, and experiences...and yes, maybe put a smile on each others face...thanks!!!
Posted 09-20-2009 at 06:58 PM by HlpMeEscpe HlpMeEscpe is offline
Old
Wow i feel as if i wrote that myself.... this is just how my marrage is as well. My kids are getting older too. One just started highschool. My husband is always full of drama and fowl language. For me sometimes i wonder if we have grown apart... we have been together since we were 17 so married now 17 years as well. He reminds me of a child with his actions and words. We as woman have to have all the patience while they screw off you know.
Posted 11-05-2009 at 06:31 PM by Hope4tomorrow Hope4tomorrow is offline
 
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