Once a Geek .....

Hello. I am a Geek.

It is an important, inescapable part of who I am. I Geek, therefore I am. Obviously at my age, I’m an old school Geek. That is hard to maintain over time, let me tell you. If you doubt my qualifications to speak as a Geek, consider the following framework, well established in high school:

* First Girlfriend – Dumped me for a popular jock (fundamental requirement)
* Second Girlfriend – Gave herself to the guy after me
* Third Girlfriend – Discovered she was a lesbian
* Fourth Girlfriend – Only one to voluntarily have sex with me without intoxication or compensation, so I married her
* Chess club, Math Club, Science Fair, Forensics, Powder Puff Cheerleader …. enough said.
* Played Dungeons and Dragons (with a now famous SF author btw – bonus points!)
* Hosted an illicit Monty Python Fest with MadDog 2020 as the main beverage
* Implemented self-preservation strategy of helping key thugs graduate
* Dark rimmed glasses with tape? Yep! But, I didn’t have the pocket protector as I preferred the natural effect of ink stains (I was such a rebel!)

As I said, time and society play their little games that continually threaten one’s Geekiness. Little known to most people (because most people aren’t Geeks – duh!) is that seasoned Geeks like me must subject themselves to Geekolution.

Geekolution: The ability of a Geek, for economic and propagation purposes, to adapt to one’s environment without abandoning the fundamental tenets of Geekocity.

Now, modesty aside, I am a textbook example of successful Geekolution. So good in fact, some people at times have mistakenly called me charming, funny, cute or some other quality that normal people have. But, the most important part of Geekolution is maintaining that inner Geek. Proof abounds (but certainly not limited to) ….

• Love cooking, not for nutrition or sustenance, but for the sheer beauty of combining mathematics, chemistry and physics
• Never fail to cry when watching the coronation scene of “Return of the King”
• Wrote the “Bill of Responsibilities” as a corollary to the Bill of Rights
• Read the Biography of E=MC2 and wrote note of appreciation to the author
• Calculated the speed of an average ant on a relative basis with humans
• Collections of fossils, arrowheads, ancient coins ….
• Start blogging (case in point) when most others have moved to new virtual social interaction (very important for a Geek to lag society)
• Crush on Kari from Mythbusters

Before you freak out because you may have an attribute that resembles something like these, let me lay your fears to rest. By definition, a Geek must exhibit and maintain multiple character flaws (some of which can be frequently abandoned and returned to … kinda like this site). You’re safe, I’m quite sure.

I was born a Geek. I live as a Geek. I will die as a Geek (with the hope that I am reincarnated as a science experiment, a beloved vibrator (I didn’t say Geeks weren’t horny too), or a rock with eyes).

<Pink Floyd playing loudly in the background>