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Possibly my last dating blog!

Posted 06-10-2012 at 04:34 PM by Ally
First, let's reminisce. I have been separated from my ex husband since November of 2009. Since that time I lived with him for another 7 months, got pregnant with his baby, moved out and bought my own place, dealt with a somewhat difficult pregnancy all by myself, had a baby and cared for him with little help, and I am not complaining for ONE moment. All of that, although it was a difficult time of my life, it was also one of the best times of my life. I could not be happier with the decision I made to divorce my ex. He is not a horrible person. He is just not the one for me.

What I want in my life is passion. I want to feel for the first time that passion you can feel for someone. I want completely uninhibited type of love...the kind you just go for and hopefully that lasts. Everyone wants that, right? There are some people who have become pessimistic whether or not that love exists. I was/is one of those people!! I wondered if there was something wrong with me. Why can't I give my heart completely to someone else? Why can't I feel that crazy love that I have been dreaming about my whole life?

Well back in December, I started this crazy idea of online dating. Everyone has their opinions of it. Yes, some of the people you meet are nutjobs. Some of them are NEEDY (as you all saw with my blogs). Some of them just need to see a therapist and call their mommy. But I did it because I had hope. I hoped that ONE out of all the zillions of guys I was dating would stand out and ignite this passion I have been searching for.

I hope to GOD that I don't come back in a week and regret this blog. But you know what? Who cares if I do. Who cares if this turns out to be complete bullshit. The point is....I'm feeling something.

Let me explain.

His name is Jay. He is.......wow. He SEEMS to be everything I have been looking for my whole adult life. He is romantic and passionate. He is kind and considerate. He is sweet but manly (holy hell he has sexy manly hands). He is driven and has goals for himself. Physically he has every single thing I have always been attracted to. The dark hair, kinda rough around the edges, scruff, sweet smile, gentle eyes, strong shoulders and arms, and of course the hands....whew. I have seen pictures of him and I was impressed but when he stepped out of that truck today and walked to my door....I gasped. I have NEVER gasped. When our eyes locked....we both got this humongous smile on our faces and we just stared.

Yes, it's completely premature. I JUST met him for the first time in person today. Is it forever? I have NO idea but I'll tell you one thing. It's a fantastic start. I am finally ignited and feeling something that shakes me to the core.

I know there will be some who will think "whoa Ally....why so fast? What's the rush?". And that's okay. I understand that thinking as I thought like that myself with many of the guys who tried to push me into relationship-land. Just trust me when I say that this is different. I'm OKAY with opening myself up to vulnerability with this one. If it doesn't work out, then I'll come back here so you can all say "I told you so". I'm really okay with that.

It's time to let go of the fear, let go of the walls, and just........feel.

On his way home, Jay texted me. He said "I'm yours if you want me. Just you and me babygirl".

I'm his.
Total Comments 23

Comments

Old
Aradia's Avatar
Ally, I'm so super excited for you!!!! You deserve to be happy and find that super passionate, awesome person that makes you feel amazing everyday!!! Smile babe and enjoy!!!

PS: Does he have a brother....just sayin
Posted 06-10-2012 at 06:22 PM by Aradia Aradia is offline
Old
DomesticDiva's Avatar
My crossables are all crossed for you Ally....Too often we close up and stay within our walls...Go for it, only 1 go around in this life.....And as always, keep us posted...

I SO need to give u muh number!....
Posted 06-10-2012 at 09:19 PM by DomesticDiva DomesticDiva is offline
Old
Han Solo's Avatar
More importantly, what kind of truck was it?
Posted 06-10-2012 at 10:33 PM by Han Solo Han Solo is offline
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Han Solo's Avatar
OK, OK.........secondly......yeah, yeah yeah....I'm always the joy killer.....but I can't help it...a guy using the term "babygirl"??...that just always gives me that "Who in THE hell farted in HERE" look.........I just can't get on board with that.....

Perhaps the chicks dig it ...but it's a red flag to me...but I reckon since I'm not trying to see him nekkid or hold his man hands I got a different perspective...
Posted 06-10-2012 at 10:45 PM by Han Solo Han Solo is offline
Old
wayneypoo's Avatar
dam don,t you go finding love now,lols?
Posted 06-11-2012 at 06:12 AM by wayneypoo wayneypoo is offline
Old
IL*flirt31's Avatar
Go with it....Enjoy it for however long it lasts. It's a totally awesome feeling. I am ^5-ing you girl!
Posted 06-11-2012 at 10:28 AM by IL*flirt31 IL*flirt31 is offline
Old
LucasR's Avatar
I agree with han on the baby girl comment. Unless he was in the rat pack no one should use that term

On another buzz kill topic. Yes nothing can top the excitement of the new courting experience but just be careful not to drop your guard fully. There is a baby in this mix that should always be considered in your thoughts and dating. The baby's protection is first and foremost even if that means becoming a skeptic. So for the buzz kill but the protective nature me just likes to give you something to think about. Don't mean to offend or rain on your parade

Fellow scorpio
Posted 06-11-2012 at 01:19 PM by LucasR LucasR is offline
Old
gdgrl's Avatar
It's just spark guys, let her have some sparks...They feel amazing and she's a big girl, she knows right from wrong. She also appears to be an excellent mother, so I don't see that being an issue.

I know what it feels like to search for what she's searching for, most of us are looking for some kind of spark, passion of some kind. It means different things to different people.

Let it ride Ally! I'm happy for you.
Posted 06-11-2012 at 02:43 PM by gdgrl gdgrl is offline
Old
scoobertina's Avatar
my pessimism on love existing... I am still dating.. I met a guy I enjoy being with.. no sex yet.. that will come.. we both want it but there are somethings to work out yet..

but I say go for it.. you only live once.. maybe he is it.. and maybe not.. but you won't know if you don't give it a shot..

sure... walls and all are great.. and I still have them.. but if we don't climb those walls and break them down we will NEVER find what we are looking for..

I hope this is the one for you.. and if not.. then I hope he gives you the best time you've had in a while.. cherish every moment of the butterflies and give it all you got girlie...

lots of luck..
Scoob

p.s. babygirl isn't bad.. my match is using boo on me..
Posted 06-11-2012 at 02:45 PM by scoobertina scoobertina is offline
Old
Ally's Avatar
Thanks for the comments everyone! Han and Lucas, I hear you and don't worry...although I'm a bit more open to this one, there will ALWAYS be a part of me looking for those red flags. Babygirl is definitely not one of them...lol. I think it's cute! That one comes out only once in awhile. His usual pet name for me is Beautiful.

I'll keep you up to date on the budding romance and if it ends with a crash and burn...I'll be coming to you for support and will be holding up a sign that says "Will cyber for ice cream and Kleenex"
Posted 06-11-2012 at 03:54 PM by Ally Ally is offline
Old
Ally's Avatar
Oh and Han...I don't exactly know what KIND of truck it was. It was a pickup of some sort....all I saw was sexy white truck.
Posted 06-11-2012 at 03:55 PM by Ally Ally is offline
Old
The divorce papers are in the mail!!!!! :P I hope he is everything you want and deserve! Sending super positive vibes your way!
Posted 06-12-2012 at 08:30 PM by D4k D4k is offline
Old
Han Solo's Avatar
You do realize I have an issue with any guy that drives a white truck right?..Who drives a white truck??

Ok, Ok....perhaps I'm just getting nervous because my girls are getting older so I'm conditioning myself to hate everything about boys.........ok, wait....there's general annoyance kinda hate...then there's 'stalk you on the date and if you so much as accidentally brush your arm on her I will jump from the bushes and Numchuck your ass' kind of annoyance.....

on the bright side in a few more years I predict I will be drunk A LOT more
Posted 06-13-2012 at 09:32 PM by Han Solo Han Solo is offline
Old
hijiller's Avatar
Han,

Painters drive white trucks..and he has good hands, so maybe that's what he does, you noodlehead..

you seem to issues with all daughters having dates...too bad convents aren't as plentiful as they used to be..huh, daddy?
Posted 06-13-2012 at 10:02 PM by hijiller hijiller is offline
Old
DomesticDiva's Avatar
I've kinda noticed the good lookin guys drive white trucks.........

Of course this is just preliminary findings, I'm doing extensive research....Plus side I get alotta looks, minus side....they prolly think I'mma creeper...
Posted 06-13-2012 at 11:24 PM by DomesticDiva DomesticDiva is offline
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LucasR's Avatar
kidnappers drive white vans...or at least they did in the 80's
Posted 06-14-2012 at 07:52 PM by LucasR LucasR is offline
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DomesticDiva's Avatar
I didn't say van
Posted 06-14-2012 at 08:00 PM by DomesticDiva DomesticDiva is offline
Old
Han Solo's Avatar
Painters??....OK, well there clothes are never clean and they are loopy from breathing in paint fumes all day in confined spaces.............not too mention, do you really want a guy who lathers his hands in paint thinner all day to be slipping them down into your business?? Sounds like a stinger really....but some of you freaky chicks may be into that sort of thing..
Posted 06-15-2012 at 01:01 AM by Han Solo Han Solo is offline
Old
Ally's Avatar
He's not a painter!!

Well I don't know if I'm freaking out because I actually FELT something with this guy or if he's just not worth my time....but I'm thinking of ending it with this guy.

I KNOW I KNOW. It seemed promising, right? Well he either is NOT into me at all or he just doesn't get that you must communicate with the one you are interested in!! He hardly texts me at all but when he does he seems interested. I came straight out and asked if things were okay because I was tired of guessing all the time. He said he wants me...but I didn't get a single text yesterday. I PROMISE I was not clingy or super needy at all. But this is ridiculous.

I texted him last night and said I needed a bit more from him. No word yet. LOL

Sooooo.....I guess my dating blog will continue.

The GOOD thing is that he was able to make me feel something so I know there is nothing wrong with me. I was starting to think I was coldhearted and jaded, unable to feel anything.

The OTHER good thing is that I wasn't too far gone to actually get hurt from this one. Just a mild disappointment.
Posted 06-15-2012 at 07:24 AM by Ally Ally is offline
Old
Aradia's Avatar
Oh on I frickin hate the "No I totally want you but then refuse to text/whatever even if you're cool and not super needy" blargh!!!

Ah to hell with it. You're better than all that. You deserve super fantastic babe. Frickin boys!
Posted 06-15-2012 at 08:39 AM by Aradia Aradia is offline
 
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