Today

Its been over 5 years since my first entry to this blog. I read the words of that blog and those that followed. Words, Sentence and paragraphs that I once wrote. Wondering how I managed to write such things, where images and the creativity had come from. How can I be that same man? I don't feel like I have changed but in many ways I more, and when I read this I see that I am less,or have lost something along the way.

I wonder why I bother to continue to run on this hamster wheel. What happened to the direction, the goals, the promise and the passion? In the five years since that first blog post I have explored, experienced and lived life in a way so few get to. The highs the lows, the wave that I rode has ebbed and down I'm stuck on this dry land just running in the hamster wheel. I no longer see challenges to be conquered, just days, weeks, and months to be survived. The mischievous twinkle in my eye is gone, all that's left is fatigue.