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The names have been changed (they've not) to protect the innocent.

Posted 03-30-2015 at 06:12 PM by SophieC
I never thought I would speak of this, never thought I would have the courage to release the truth of what happened that night... However, Jill told me to and I caved without even demanding chocolate or tea as a bribe.

So yeah, last time there was a M&F meet and greet, I took notes. Not awfully detailed as I remember diluting my red wine with white wine at some point - so I would say what follows is probably 76% accurate at best. 6% accurate at worst.

Last October there was an elite, invite only, M&F meet and greet. So elite that only 222,347 of the current members were invited. It was that classy. We met at the Bellagio in Las Vegas. Not that Bellagio, this place we went to is actually called 'Not Quite the Bellagio' probably because the water feature outside was kids paddling pools with garden hoses sellotaped to them. It was classier than it sounds.

We got access to this one because Mister Sinister knew a guy who owed him a favour so we got a great discount on the back room, and got cheap Jamaican vodka at a really good discount. Seemed like a good idea at the time.

Anyway, its partly taken me this long to talk about it as I couldn't make out my own handwriting. And at one point on the night Stew and Tex stole my notepad and just drew pictures of boobs for 18 pages. Then they got into a fight over which of them looked the most like Kim Kardashians. I lost interest when they started tweeting her their drawings and asking her to settle an argument...

Okay, so my notes...

"I feel a bit weird coming all the way out to America and not going to Disneyland, but I'm hoping tonight will be my own version of the magical kingdom.

Its funny putting a face to all these people we only usually know by AVs of stock photos from the internet, ducks, naked bottoms, or inspirational mad libs. I had to sit in the corner with my hands over my eyes for the first hour to fit in.

The one person we all recognised right away was Wayney, for obvious reasons. And the weirdest things is how shy he is. He was here when I got here but he is just sitting in the corner, quietly. He's got a glass of Ribena and he's been nursing that for at least 3 hours. He's a proper gent, gaze always at eye level and not boob level when talking to all the girls here (and TomIAm). I think I heard him say something about going home early as it's all getting a bit too much for him.

In fairness mrhowdydoody is trying to get us all drunk. He's brought with him hollowed out baseball bats and has filled each one with vodka, and whoopsbanana just threw up in one of Katys shoes. This is actually like a Friday night in Glasgow, maybe I do belong here?

Oh no, I've just made eye contact with hotnsteamyfun. It's not as exciting as it sounds though. He is a hot tub sales manwho only joined the site to try and improve his sales reach across the mid West. I thought I explained to him earlier that I wouldn't pay for shipping but he clearly thinks exposure to alcohol might make me vulnerable. He has clearly been talking to Tex.

Okay, I pretended I was writing a lot there till he passed by. Really I just wrote "random thoughts, random thoughts, random thoughts" over and over again.

Oh goodness, now sexynsad is talking to constace696969. This won't end well. If I could still use my legs I would go over and explain to sexynsad that constace is a bloke. Hopefully he will work it out soon, constace does after all have a beard, an adams apple, and quite clearly dresses to the left. Although maybe this will work, stranger things and all that.

There is still a lot of drinking, and MisterSinister and Lucas are dancing together. I mean always suspected but it's terribly sweet to see them together like this. Even sweeter that they are in co-ordinated Taylor Swift t-shirts. Love does blossom in the unlikeliest of places, so that's sort of beautiful.

Gosh, Ice is still here. For me has been the biggest shock of the night. Turns out he doesn't drink. Not a drop. Not ever. He just tells us that to fit in. It's like the world has been turned on it's axis and nothing will ever be the same. He's been talking to hard29male about chamber music for the last hour. I think hard29male had different hopes for this evening. He's written 'help me' in the "what are you thinking right now" thread 65 times since he's been here tonight.

I need to keep writing and not go start an argument. Witti Woman is talking to DomesticDiva about music, but all I can think about is going over and yelling you might be witty but you can't spell...

Oh and there is the other big disappointment of the night - i_am_rocky has turned up and it actually is Sylvester Stallone. Stew is talking to him right now, yelling something about wanting to be in the next Expendable movie. I'm pretty sure I just heard him say he felt it needed a fisherman to round out the action.

I'd pay to see that.

Right that's it, I'm stopping this for a while and going to find the wine. playinggames69 has just got out a travel trivial pursuit and people seem to be splitting up into teams.

I always imagined Vegas differently. I'll be back later with an update."

Except I drank 3 bottles of wine. So what took place the remainder of the night probably should remain private. Unless you all send money to my paypal account, if you do that then I'm spilling all the secrets. All of them.
Total Comments 9

Comments

Old
hijiller's Avatar
You never let me down. I totally believe now that the Bletchley Circle women won the war for the UK..if they were anything like you.

Brilliant use of red herrings, btw!
Posted 03-30-2015 at 06:48 PM by hijiller hijiller is offline
Updated 03-30-2015 at 07:36 PM by hijiller
Old
DomesticDiva's Avatar
I giggled so loud over the Taylor Swift shirts ....Great Blog Sophie!

I woulda told her she couldn't spell but yanno...that whole pot/kettle thang
Posted 03-30-2015 at 08:09 PM by DomesticDiva DomesticDiva is offline
Old
katydid's Avatar
It had to be one of favorite shoes too~ my rainbow colored converse. Well, when you think about it, it doesn't really matter now, does it. Little bit more rainbow, little less converse.

What a night!
Posted 03-31-2015 at 01:47 AM by katydid katydid is offline
Old
.Cotties's Avatar
Thank goodness you forgot the haircare tips I offered after your second bottle. You got a bit nasty but I'm pretty sure you thought I was tex at the time. You did looked pleased how he appeared taller though.
Posted 03-31-2015 at 08:12 AM by .Cotties .Cotties is offline
Old
Stew's Avatar
I think this was awesome and the fact she mentioned me twice.........well, damn, she is awesome......I don't care if she likes Tex or not, she's awesome......

I can't believe I was that drunk that I was trying to be a fisherman character in a movie.........what happened to "what happens in Vegas".......
Posted 04-01-2015 at 09:48 PM by Stew Stew is offline
Old
*Brad*'s Avatar
Oh such well distilled and aged wisdom.
Yes it should be bottled .. or repeated on stage in Edinburgh
Posted 04-08-2015 at 04:21 PM by *Brad* *Brad* is offline
Old
Iceburn's Avatar
I lost my Taylor Swift T...on the way in so the plan to launch the "terrific triplets" fell short of the mark.And whats so wrong about Chamber music Haggis? Hard29male was waxing lyrical about the need for rappers to include the line "know what I mean" at least 17 times in one sentence..and FYI...my "help me" pleas in that particular thread you mentioned..trumped his by around a thousand or more

Great blog!..Sorry I missed it first time around

PS: I'd raise a glass to your fine blog..but as you know..I don't drink
Posted 06-29-2015 at 04:15 AM by Iceburn Iceburn is offline
Old
OneFineDay's Avatar
I'll be drinking a fine drop of Edradour on you and your writing skills as soon as I can find out where my wife has been hiding the bottle from our daughter's boyfriend ...
Posted 12-28-2015 at 03:17 AM by OneFineDay OneFineDay is offline
Old
hijiller's Avatar
Time for another get together. I understand that place has added ramps and Depends dispensers that take charge cards.

Should we wear avatar badges instead of name tags like last time? Except for Stew whose crotch high waders say it all.

Somehow your report is much funnier than the actual event..thanks for the flashback!
Posted 11-09-2018 at 03:21 PM by hijiller hijiller is offline
 
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