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The Day I Stole The Bat Mobile Pt 3

Posted 12-06-2017 at 12:06 PM by Iceburn
I shouldnt have wasted mine...and everyone else's time at all

There was much whooping and slapping of backs and "hard luck" calls..but mixed in with that..I saw stark bare naked relief on all of their faces that day.As far as any of us kids could recall..NO ONE had ever managed to steal from Burdens and get away with it. Even the bigger kids who continually reminded us younger 'uns we were pussies and had no street cred to speak of, were (in our minds) up at the Big Place breaking rocks for 20 hours a day because of failed pilfering missions at Fort Burdens.

The problem was the security. It was as if the FBI, the CIA, the NSA, Mossad, MI6, and the SS had all sent their resume's in ..and had all been eagerly accepted. Adding to that..you had the Oberfuhrer Floor managers with GI Joe type "Eagle Eyes" and every guy with a hat looked like Dick Tracey and every woman resembled Mata Hari.

"It dont matter what you get" said Doofus whom I could have cheerily killed right now "it could even be a freakin fork!" he said..and all my mates nodded solemnly with mumbles of "you can do it Spikey"..a nickname I got because of the way my hair used to grow by the way,..and "go get it done pal"

I dont recall if I'd moved forward a couple of paces..or the gang had stealthily retreated but suddenly, I found myself standing alone. I turned to look at the Leviathan, watching me intently through its window eyes, the great gaping mouth of its double door entrance, the death cap of its black slate pinnacled roof, sitting slightly cockily on its head and I imagined it laughing at me, a smug snicker , a final humorless meal to the death row inmate it was soon to welcome into its despairing depths.

I moved to walk forward..and to my horror, found I couldnt. My legs had taken on the form of Aunt Bessie's Blancmange and the pavement had suddenly turned to quicksand. I realised then, that I was terrified! My nine year old heart so carefree and fearless in numerous other quests was hammering at my ribcage like a Jackrabbit caught in a trap and my nine year old's pants were hoping that they weren't going to receive a rather nasty unwanted gift any time soon.

I wanted to turn back, to forget the whole damn thing, but I couldn't. Losing face amongst your mates just wasnt on the table. Getting caught was one thing, being the ridicule and the butt of most of your friends jibes for oh..I dunno?..eternity?... was a fate worse than death, and it was this thought alone that got my jelly legs moving.

I entered the store like some kind of mini zombie..my mind was in The Dead Zone, my body was moving on instinct alone..and for a few minutes there...I'd lost all focus on who I was, where I was..and what I was doing there..and all of a sudden..I was back! During those few minutes I'd somehow gone from Frankenstein's Monster..to Cool Hand Luke? I was focused now, driven and still slightly shit scared but now "shit scared" had taken a back seat and was now moodily playing with the flip out ashtray in the car door.

I walked right past the elevator and headed to the stairs..this was going ot be a quick smash n grab and I didnt want to be held up by a little old lady wondering what floor she wanted to be on.Floor Three was my destination because floor three was the Toy Department and I had decided that if I was going to get caught, I was gonna get caught for something worthwhile..and not some crummy old fork like Doof had thrown out there...back in The Dark Ages..where everything was safe..and neat..and tidy.

Stepping through the door to Floor Three..was like stepping into Heaven for a nine year old kid with zero money..but rich in imagination. Toys of all description filled the walls and the stand alone shelves ..almost overflowing in their eagerness to be bought (or stolen..some dark evil impish voice cackled inside my head) Kites fluttered thier tails in front of the huge ceiling fans like they were desperate to be up and away in the clear blue skies. A model fort, complete with a million soldiers, sergeants barking orders, horses whinnying and rearing up...cannons belching out smoke and fire. A Scalextrix set..with racing car track that seemed big enough to fill a field.Dolls of all shapes and sizes...crying, giggling..even burping and farting for all I knew?..hands out, looking for little girls to take them home.

I rounded a corner...and knew instantly Id found my prize.My peripheral vision took an instant vacation and Tunnel stepped smartly in.My feet never left the ground but it felt like I was forcibly moved 20 ft until I was staring down at my Holy Grail Some part of my brain must have picked up on what Doofus was crowing about earlier in the morning because there before me was...The Batmobile!

Proudly spinning on its own revolving plinth..it stunned me into complete moron mode. I could actually smell the newness of its black Firestone tyres, my eyes followed the way the fins rose up behind it, the red trim bordering this work of art served only to hilight its bridling power. The three exhaust outputs to the rear looked like some crazy organist about to rise out of the car itself and the grille smiled at you and invited you in. But the best part about the batmobile for me..was the twin ports covering the seats THIS is what made the Batmobile..the futuristic badass growling snarling criminal catcher that it most certainly was.
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ByronBay's Avatar
The tension ............
Not sure if Batman would be too impressed though!
Posted 12-17-2017 at 02:45 PM by ByronBay ByronBay is offline
 
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