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Down But NOT Out

Posted 05-12-2009 at 05:27 PM by Heart
Right at this moment in time I could say that I hate men. At this moment in time I could say that I hate myself. At this moment in time I could say that I hate my soon to be ex. I could say that I hate my life. That I hate God. That I hate, hate, hate, and hate.

But at this moment in time I need to reach inside myself and find who I am deep down inside. To feel the real me and know that I am okay. That I am the passionate woman that many men seem to feed off of and hurt. And that is not MY fault. It is their fault for being weak and undevoted creatures. Creatures that feel the need to become parasitic beasts of nature. That cannot fend for themselves but must find the nurturing of food and shelter in a bloodsucking, perverse way.

I may be down for the moment but I am not out. I am not out for the count nor for the show. I will and can stand back up for another brutal reality and continue to stand strong for that burst of strength that only maintains itself for those who persevere. I will stand their and remember that I do not control anything or anyone but myself. That I cannot feel bad unless I allow someone to make me feel bad. That I have the power to maintain positivity even through parasitic waters that want to drag me down into a usage of primal abyss.

I am the only person standing in my way. It is not the ex. It is not the men who have stood me up on dates. It is not the inability to pay my bills. Or anything else that causes my tears to fall when I drift off to sleep. I AM THE ONLY PERSON STANDING IN MY WAY and with this realization I am down but I am certainly NOT out!

Not only does a Phoenix rise out of the ashes but so does a heart rising from scars that disfigure. You may not recongize me from a distance but deep down inside you will feel me...I will feel me again. And again I will be me...passionate, caring, and for once...STRONG.
Total Comments 4


MomentOfPassion's Avatar
You were never ever strong just once ... you have always been that. Not once, but always.

Welcome back Phoenix!
Posted 05-12-2009 at 05:41 PM by MomentOfPassion MomentOfPassion is offline
sweetnspicy's Avatar
well that bought tears to my are one beautiful lady...hang in there...

you have a lot of strength..

we are here for you

big hugs xxxxxxxxxx
Posted 05-13-2009 at 12:31 AM by sweetnspicy sweetnspicy is offline
Tndream's Avatar
You never fail to amaze me babygirl.
You are a hell of a strong person to realize this, and to take action to overcome everything.
welcome back babe.
Posted 05-13-2009 at 06:57 PM by Tndream Tndream is offline
Its_me's Avatar
Hang in there Heart! Better days are ahead of you!
Posted 06-28-2010 at 08:20 PM by Its_me Its_me is offline
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