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* Continued from 4th post in the Empowerment.... thread *

He went on vacation with his family for 2 weeks so our time to speak to one another became severely limited. From around 10 hours a day of contact to barely 1/2 an hour here and there. Ordinarily I wouldve been fine with it but I was going through a particularly difficult, life altering chronic health problem and all I thought I needed was to be able to spend a bit more time speaking with him and having him continue making me feel as desired, important and loved as had been before the vacation.

I went into 'victim' mode, was on a bad narcotic pain medication that caused me to act out of character and with the thought that it was all too hard, I overdosed. I didn't just do it quietly though, I let him know what I was doing as I was doing it and severely freaking him out because he had no way of getting me help.

When I came out of the ICU I contacted him barely remembering that he knew anything about what I'd doneand just needing him to tell me he loved me and evrything was ok. Unfortunately I had kept him updated through almost the whole overdose until the point that I went into a coma. He couldn't contact me, couldn't contact anyone to see how I was. He assumed the worse. When I finally made contact with him and he knew I was ok he was relieved obviously but also very angry, frustrated and disappointed by what I'd done and what I'd put him through.
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