Married And Flirting Chat

Go Back   Married And Flirting Chat > Blogs > Suffering Insomniac

insomia
Rate this Entry

Innocent Lost

Posted 12-20-2012 at 06:04 PM by IL*flirt31
Updated 12-20-2012 at 06:06 PM by IL*flirt31
Itís been almost a week. 6 days and a handful of hours since. Since that young boy, barely a man, so casually took the lives of 26 innocent people, 20 precious babies and 6 courageous adults. I have listened, read and watched the media account over and over the lives of the dead. Listened, read and watched the families grieve their loss. Have felt deep down in my heart their pain. I even have the capacity to understand it to some degree, that kind of loss. But this particular moment in time has broken me. I can no longer look at my facebook, post after post. I canít watch the news anymore, because that is all they talk about. I have forced myself a few times to continue on, but only end up in a ball of tears and heartache.
I am not sure how I broke, but I know something has changed within my psyche. I am no stranger to grief. I have watched other very tragic times in the history of my life, 9/11, Desert storm, Wako, Columbine, VA tech, and even a neighborhood drowning. But this one, just this one hit me somewhere. I am not sure if it was my ability to relate so well to it, my youngest daughter is 9, but I donít think that is the case. My late hubs was a firefighter/paramedic and I didnít have this same reaction to those 343 as I watched them enter those buildings and march up the stairs to their death. Their numbers far greater. Maybe it was the fact that most of the victims were so young, lives yet to be even lived. They had not experienced ANYTHING! The best thing in their lives was Santa was coming real soon and they had a wish list they all hoped he would fill. They will never know love, have families or grow up to be what they all yearned to be. Such innocence. One comment made by TomIam, sticks in my mind and I reread it over and overÖ.he said that they huddled together in fear and all they wanted was their mommy and mommy wasnít there. I just canít wrap my mind around this kind of loss. This senseless, needless, overwhelming, life altering loss. I write this in hopes to help my own grieving process along, but maybe let others here know that if they feel more than slightly affected by this as I do, that it is ok and I think normal and others are feeling the same way. I just don't look at things the same way anymore.
Total Comments 2

Comments

Old


I will be honest with you. I have not turned the news on since last Friday as it was too dificult to watch. Am I wrong for not tuning in? Should I feel guilty for not being as informed as most people? No, it is simply how I need to handle this. I couldn't bear to look at the pictures of those children lost...much less the adults. In a sense I do feel guilty because I know my kiddos are safe and will soon be opening pressies from Santa. Last Saturday my friend told me that the bodies of the lost were still in the building until late at night because of the investigation. To hear that broke my heart even more. I cannot begin to imagine the anguish. I know how it feels to lose someone you love...how difficult it is to know that life goes on regardless of one's loss. One will wonder why can't time stop just for a moment.....can't you see I am grieving. I know that is how I felt.
Posted 12-20-2012 at 07:40 PM by Chrysalis. Chrysalis. is offline
Old
artemis's Avatar
Thanks for writing down what a lot of us cannot express so articulately... I can't imagine what the parents are going through, watching the years slip by & as you said, unfinished innocent lives..
Death of lives cut short is incomprehensible... Hugs for your own struggle..
Posted 12-22-2012 at 10:01 PM by artemis artemis is offline
 
Recent Blog Entries by IL*flirt31

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:33 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.0
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.