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my name is durrrr......

Posted 12-09-2008 at 10:42 AM by Tndream
Yesterday was my sons birthday,
i was also the 6th anniversary of his death.

I stayed offline, neglected to talk to my freinds, I refused to let them in.

I stayed onthe couch and wallowed in self pity all day..

Talk about pathetic.
I'm supposed to be the strong one,
And what did I do?
I sat home and cried all day,
I pushed away my freinds and loved ones
when I could have used their support the most.

Sometimes I wonder if the pain of his loss will ever go away.
Will I ever stop hurting?

I have more questions than answers.

Oh well,I'm sure I will e just fne.
int he eatime, my meds are kicking in,
i need to go lay donw before i fall asleep.
Total Comments 8


Midwest girl's Avatar
Tin, I lost a nephew 6 ys ago on his thoughts are with you.
Posted 12-09-2008 at 11:53 AM by Midwest girl Midwest girl is offline
WandaRing's Avatar
Tin, you lost your son...on the anniversary of his death and on his birthday, you're allowed to tell the world to fuck off and go to hell! can even sit on the couch throwing mashed potatoes at the wall all day if you want to....then the next day---get up and live for him and celebrate him and who he was....

I lost my sister, I understand losing someone close to you....Losing a child is not like anything else in the world....I am so sorry tin.
Posted 12-09-2008 at 06:46 PM by WandaRing WandaRing is offline
Krystal's Avatar
Honey, you're allowed to take time to cry. Your friends will be here for you when you're ready to let them in.
Posted 12-12-2008 at 01:38 PM by Krystal Krystal is offline
MomentOfPassion's Avatar
Tin, there is no wrong in how we grieve when we grieve. We don't understand why and that angers us and ultimately creates the "hole" that we want to fill. One day I think, and hope, the memories of his life will be the bridge across that hole. In the meantime, push all you need - those who love you understand and will be there for you.

Though I feel for you for your loss, I am happy for the time you had with him.
Posted 12-12-2008 at 11:45 PM by MomentOfPassion MomentOfPassion is offline
Heart's Avatar
Tinny, girl, I thought of you often and wondered how you were doing but also realized you needed your time for rememberance and grief. Honey, your friends and family understand far more than you realize. This is a tough time and right now you need to take care of you so you can take care of those other babies you have....and celebrate the beautiful son you once held in your arms. One day the pain will subside....and that is what friends are understand and to support. Love you Tinny!
Posted 12-13-2008 at 01:28 PM by Heart Heart is offline
scoobertina's Avatar
Tin, there is nothing wrong with taking time off for yourself.. I am sure your friends were worried about you but they will understand..

I have lost my mother and my brother.. I haven't lost a child but with them both being grown now and my son in the Marines.. it is a possibility..

It is alright for you to not be the strong one once in a while.. it really is.. take the time you need.. then when you are able to reconnect with your friends..

Posted 12-14-2008 at 01:45 AM by scoobertina scoobertina is offline
Tin - you're allowed. And as everyone else has said - we'll be here when you need us.

Take care!
Posted 09-10-2009 at 11:10 AM by catm catm is offline
NurseDude66's Avatar
I lost a sister when we were both young. That was 40 years ago and I remember to call my mom on both Kim's birthday and on the anniversary of her death. I don't ever say why I call, but I know she struggles to keep it together and I just want to be there for her.
Jjust as there is no limit to a mother's love, there is no end to a mother's grief. Cry when you need to, picture your son in heaven, and know you will be reunited one day. Prayers to you.
Posted 09-17-2009 at 05:11 AM by NurseDude66 NurseDude66 is offline
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