For those of you who do not know me I have been married 21 yrs. A long time. In this amount of time I have found that I have come accustomed to feelings of guilt.
My husband is not the most secure person. I was naive and young when we married and was not the strong person I am today. I let him dictate to me. I allowed him to belittle me and tell me how stupid my interests were. Friends were never good enough, etc...
It is strange how you begin to second guess your every move and allow this garbage you have been fed to eat it's way into your brain like a worm in an apple.
U know the things you enjoy and the goals you have are normal but yet you ask yourself, "am I being unfair?"
I suppose it is like a disease. I can't believe I allowed it and to this day allow it, to a degree. I hate confrontation and hate the way it affects a family.
Family, I look at my son and pray he never treats women that way. I will personally kick his ass! And my daughters, they better not allow this to happen to them. I see my oldest with boyfriends and I don't think she will.
It is easy to say I am weak and I should leave. Maybe I am. I guess that is for me to determine and to work out myself and I have a feeling I will in due time.
What really intrigues me is how a person can be so oblivious to what they are doing. My husband thinks he loves tremendously and sees no faults.
Maybe someone will read this and know they are not alone, or maybe they will read it and think, that I am crazy!
My husband is not the most secure person. I was naive and young when we married and was not the strong person I am today. I let him dictate to me. I allowed him to belittle me and tell me how stupid my interests were. Friends were never good enough, etc...
It is strange how you begin to second guess your every move and allow this garbage you have been fed to eat it's way into your brain like a worm in an apple.
U know the things you enjoy and the goals you have are normal but yet you ask yourself, "am I being unfair?"
I suppose it is like a disease. I can't believe I allowed it and to this day allow it, to a degree. I hate confrontation and hate the way it affects a family.
Family, I look at my son and pray he never treats women that way. I will personally kick his ass! And my daughters, they better not allow this to happen to them. I see my oldest with boyfriends and I don't think she will.
It is easy to say I am weak and I should leave. Maybe I am. I guess that is for me to determine and to work out myself and I have a feeling I will in due time.
What really intrigues me is how a person can be so oblivious to what they are doing. My husband thinks he loves tremendously and sees no faults.
Maybe someone will read this and know they are not alone, or maybe they will read it and think, that I am crazy!
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Posted in
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Comments 15
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Posted in
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Comments 7
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Posted in
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Comments 6
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