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Seven years ago, my Mom had a series of strokes that changed her irreversibly. All my life, she’s been the voice of reason. Calm. Humorous. Opinionated. She never said “Don’t you even think about…” whatever. Her approach was always “Just consider the consequences” or something similar. Now, Mom’s kind of AWOL. There's no thought of a nursing home. She doesn’t deserve to live that way.

Almost four years ago, my husband broke his hip. He's a good deal older than I. We’d been little more than roommates for several years at that point. He plays computer games and watches television. Mom does word seek puzzles and reads. I take care of them as best I can.

I’m a very private person. I really appreciate this site because I’m constantly interrupted and it doesn’t matter. I just pick up where I left off whenever I can. I need the laughter and the joking around. It’s a stress reliever to me. Oh - and I don’t post recognizable photos of myself online. The photos I’ve posted have been blurred for a reason. So thank you to those of you who have taken the time to message with me, and to post with me. I appreciate you.
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A Life

Posted 10-12-2018 at 07:12 PM by LadyZ
Updated 10-12-2018 at 10:23 PM by LadyZ
She couldn’t believe he asked her out,
The beautiful boy with the coal black hair
And the startlingly blue eyes
With the amazing IQ.
It was the perfect evening,
Dinner and a movie,
For the young teens on their first date.
He didn’t try to grope her like most boys did
Or throw insults because she wouldn’t put out.
He didn’t claim he’d had her anyway.
She wasn’t just a notch.
Another date led to another
Enjoying long exploring kisses
And light petting.
She wore his classring with melted wax
To hold it on her finger,
And he wore hers on his pinkie.
At the same college, she studied art history
And he studied law.
Then came law school for him
And she painted and taught others to paint.

The wedding was a dream come true.
He clerked for a hot shot judge
And she hosted the obligatory dinner parties.
She had two point one beautiful children,
And the boys filled the gaps in her heart.
The move to the city put them in a brownstone
And she strolled her boys through Central Park.
He got his dream job, and he was content.
He went to the gym and played squash with his pals
And she ferried kids and hosted lavish dinners.

The boys were six and seven
When he decided they needed private school.
All his friends sent their kids
So it was the thing to do.
She didn’t need to ferry them to practice
Or help Max with his homework
Or teach Josh how to write cursive.
A town car collected them in the morning
And brought them home in the afternoon.
She didn’t need to keep him satisfied,
Her beautiful boy with the coal black hair
And startlingly blue eyes
Because he said he was too tired for sex anymore.

Her children at university,
She used her free time to make her art
Provocative and mysterious
So that at last she was invited to do a show
At an uptown gallery.
As the crowd grew, she mingled with the host
In order to meet those who queued to purchase.
Glancing across the room,
She saw him.
Her beautiful boy with the coal black hair
And startlingly blue eyes
Press a kiss to a young woman’s temple.
His eyes lifted and met hers, and the smile
He wore turned to something else.
Shock. Surprise. Embarassment.
So… he wasn’t really working late.
She didn’t care to know the whys.

Surprisingly, the floor didn’t open
To swallow her so she could disappear.
She looked away.
He apologized and said they needed to talk.
She locked him out of the guest room.
The next morning she packed her things
And left the brownstone while he was at work.
She took her clothing. Photographs.
Her personal things; her art.
Nothing to remind her of her beautiful boy
With the coal black hair
And startlingly blue eyes.
The art she’d sold brought enough to lease
A new loft. She changed her number.
With a restraining order in place,
She filed for separation with a law firm
Across town. She spoke in person with her sons.
Both of them were beautiful boys
With coal black hair and startlingly blue eyes.
Both were already aware of their father’s indiscretions,
But didn’t want to hurt her.

A year went by and offered the final divorce,
And a settlement she didn’t really care about.
He made so many attempts to reconcile,
But she explained that the trust was gone.
He married someone else, and a year later,
Yet another someone. And soon another.
Five years divorced brought the idea for a cruise,
Just to get away from the city for a while.
She didn’t think that her heart
Could ever accept someone else.
Or that she could ever trust again.

Six years later, she stood on the beach
In a gauzy off white dress that kissed the sand.
Barefoot, she held daisies and lavender and sweetpea.
Her children brought their families.
She couldn’t stop smiling so brightly
That it lit up her face and formed an aura
Around her. It encircled her new husband,
With the sun bleached light brown hair,
And deep emerald eyes, bright with promise.
Posted in Poetry
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Posted 10-13-2018 at 08:56 AM by Atrebla Rose Atrebla Rose is offline
 
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