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Homesick

Posted 10-16-2016 at 05:21 PM by katydid
Updated 10-17-2016 at 06:01 PM by katydid
I expected to be happy now. I didn't expect for my life to be fixed. I didn't even necessarily expect to have a job by now. I thought I'd be happy. That I would have been able to lay out a plan for what comes next. I suppose, naively, I thought that leaving the place where I was most sorrowful would make me happy. It really sucks that I was wrong.

My kid is happy and that is really amazing to see. He is getting great grades. He shocked me by joining the drama club here. I'm...
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Stray Cat

Posted 08-23-2016 at 10:14 PM by katydid
Despite my incredible sheer epic numbers of primarily nonsensical posts, my mostly withering on the vine threads I began and the fact that I can spew enough nonsense to fill 145 blogs, I realize I have really said nothing. With the exception of my "Banjo" thread~ please Andy and Lucky, for the love of God don't let that die.

I've been here far too long. I think I started saying that about three months after I made my grand entrance into the chat room as naive as they come...
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What's a Blog Anyway?

Posted 07-19-2016 at 10:22 PM by katydid
I've been thinking a lot lately. I've been thinking about blogs. I look at the sheer number of blogs I've written (143 in case you can't bear to look) and I wonder if I've even said anything worth saying.

I suppose I sort of looked at a blog as a "Dear Diary" thing. Maybe people would read it, but most probably wouldn't unlock the key. At one point, I even locked down my blogs. They were still there, but just Tom and I could read them. Talk about pressure.
...
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Where Does Sorrow Live?

Posted 06-04-2016 at 06:35 PM by katydid
I should make all my blogs private. I may do that. Sometimes I just have to say things and they don't fit in "What Are You Thinking?" or "What Made You Smile Today?"

I said before my dad died, but what I didn't know until today was that he had died two weeks before my brother told me. It is not enough that I didn't have the chance to maybe whisper into his ear through the phone "I love you." It is also that I wouldn't have had the chance because two...
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My Psychiatrist Broke Up With Me

Posted 06-02-2016 at 09:13 AM by katydid
Updated 06-02-2016 at 09:16 AM by katydid
https://youtu.be/wpulStzGv4A

I have been having off and on recurring symptoms of my bipolar disorder for a few years now. It's always hard to decipher it. How much is the wretchedness of divorce, joblessness, near poverty. And, how much of it is biochemical warfare going on in your mind. It has been a rough time. And, I would say that the last year has easily been the hardest year of my life. And, I would say the last month has been the epic month of struggle for me. And,that...
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